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1
00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,380
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:12,061
[imitates train] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:16,341
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:16,421 --> 00:00:19,541
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,021
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,061
[shouts] Stay away!
7
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:30,741
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
8
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,900
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
9
00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,301
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented,
10
00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:42,021
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
11
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:46,501
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,821
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
13
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,501
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
14
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,501
[all laughing]
15
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,501
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
16
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,381
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
17
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,821
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,101
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
19
00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,861
[laughing]
20
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381
Scatter!
21
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,741
Party!
22
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,780
[music fades out]
23
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:27,221
[Mimi] After all these years of marriage,
I can truly, hand on heart, say,
24
00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:30,341
"Better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all."
25
00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:32,741
What a load of bollocks.
26
00:01:32,821 --> 00:01:34,341
Mimi.
27
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:35,541
Patrick.
28
00:01:35,621 --> 00:01:38,700
It's what I need, Mimi.
New start, new challenges.
29
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I know. For both of us.
30
00:01:43,101 --> 00:01:44,621
C'mon, or we're gonna be late.
31
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:50,860
Patrick has had a brilliant business
opportunity offered to him in Ireland.
32
00:01:50,941 --> 00:01:53,261
[Paddy] Nightclubs.
Two in Belfast, one in Lisburn.
33
00:01:53,341 --> 00:01:55,901
I've always turned
the offer down before, because...
34
00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,420
it means relocating.
35
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,741
We wanna move on
with our lives separately.
36
00:01:59,821 --> 00:02:00,981
It won't be necessary.
37
00:02:02,821 --> 00:02:06,461
This wedding certificate...
I'm afraid to say it's fake.
38
00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:09,741
You what?
39
00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:12,100
[lawyer]
It's not worth the paper it's written on.
40
00:02:12,181 --> 00:02:15,461
[Mimi] But we signed it.
At the church, with Father Jim.
41
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,540
Therein lies the problem.
42
00:02:17,621 --> 00:02:21,461
[policeman] Come 'ere,
ya fuckin' fraudster! Come 'ere!
43
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,221
-[policeman gasping]
-[Father Jim gasping]
44
00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:26,820
Father Jim wasn't a Father?
45
00:02:26,901 --> 00:02:29,741
-[lawyer] Not according to Interpol.
-And this means?
46
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,581
[lawyer] You, um,
can't actually be granted a divorce...
47
00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:36,461
because you were never married.
48
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,540
[yells] You what?
49
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,901
[Libby]
Carl, give me a ring as soon as you can.
50
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:44,700
[Libby] Ah!
51
00:02:44,781 --> 00:02:48,260
Good timing. Stella's having an afternoon
nap, we're late enough as it is.
52
00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:49,781
-For what?
-Book club.
53
00:02:49,861 --> 00:02:51,741
Oh, fuckin' hell! Till when?
54
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:53,700
[sighs] Willy Wonka's on telly at five.
55
00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:55,380
-She'll love that.
-Fuckin' delightful!
56
00:02:55,461 --> 00:02:58,100
-That'll be all right then, won't it? Yes?
-And if you're good...
57
00:02:58,181 --> 00:03:00,581
I might go by the offy on the way home,
grab you a four-pack.
58
00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:03,260
-[Frank] Just give us a few quid...
-[Libby] No.
59
00:03:03,341 --> 00:03:05,341
For some cigs.
Haven't had a smoke in over three hours.
60
00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:06,461
-[Libby] No!
-[Frank] Come on!
61
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,781
You need to tell him
you're not a cash cow.
62
00:03:07,861 --> 00:03:09,901
-Stay out of it, Mother!
-Milkin' ya dry!
63
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:12,781
[Frank] Yeah, stay out of it, Moth--
Bet she's got some cash stashed away.
64
00:03:12,861 --> 00:03:15,021
Balance your budget
with more conviction, Frank.
65
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,380
-[Frank] And?
-And...
66
00:03:16,461 --> 00:03:19,501
I might take a look at
increasing your overdraft. Okay, sir?
67
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,260
Stella's asleep in her cot.
[door slamming]
68
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,181
[Stella cries]
69
00:03:26,181 --> 00:03:29,901
In the eyes of God,
I'm no better than a fuckin' prossy!
70
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,661
And what about Mandy and Fergal?
71
00:03:31,741 --> 00:03:34,980
[Mimi] Denied access
through the Pearly Gates!
72
00:03:35,061 --> 00:03:38,341
[Mimi] Stuck up there in purgatory
forever! Whose fault's that?
73
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,781
The prick that dressed in a cassock
and pretended to be a priest!
74
00:03:40,861 --> 00:03:42,380
Wrong answer.
75
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,301
It's your fault!
76
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,380
What?
77
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,661
I wouldn't wipe me own arse with this!
78
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,140
[spluttering sounds]
79
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:55,581
Get out!
80
00:03:57,380 --> 00:04:00,260
-Where did you find Father Jim?
-I can't remember. I don't know.
81
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,420
He was a friend of a client.
I was in a rush. You made me rush.
82
00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:06,781
Because I didn't wanna walk down the aisle
in me third trimester!
83
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:07,820
[Mimi] That's why!
84
00:04:10,221 --> 00:04:11,461
[Mimi] You did it on purpose.
85
00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:13,621
Are you takin' the piss?
86
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:16,221
-How was I supposed to know?
-[Mimi] It all makes sense now!
87
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,221
You thought I was trickin' you
into gettin' married,
88
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:23,740
so you picked any ol' Tom, Dick or Jim
just to shut me up.
89
00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:26,661
[Mimi] And the kids...
They're all bastards!
90
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:28,060
Tell me something I don't know.
91
00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:30,981
[tyres screeching]
92
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:34,180
-[Mimi] We'll have to get married again.
-[Paddy] What?
93
00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:36,341
-We'll have to get married again.
-No. No.
94
00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:39,060
You wanted this divorce, and how can we,
95
00:04:39,141 --> 00:04:42,301
if because of you,
we were never married in the first place?
96
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:50,381
We do it properly this time, Paddy...
For the kids' sake!
97
00:04:51,221 --> 00:04:54,141
[Mimi] No one need
know shit all about this.
98
00:04:54,221 --> 00:04:57,940
As far as anyone's concerned,
the divorce has gone through,
99
00:04:58,021 --> 00:04:59,301
and we're happy as Larry.
100
00:05:00,981 --> 00:05:04,141
Have to meet me tonight,
away from here, to sort this out.
101
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,581
So much for being amicable.
102
00:05:06,981 --> 00:05:10,500
-[pop music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
103
00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:16,740
-Hi, everybody!
-All right, Dad?
104
00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:18,581
Aye, top of the world, son!
105
00:05:18,661 --> 00:05:20,221
It's official, I'm a free man.
106
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:25,021
And more importantly, I'm a free woman.
107
00:05:27,581 --> 00:05:28,541
You all right?
108
00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:31,021
Just needs to sink in.
109
00:05:32,661 --> 00:05:34,701
It's not as if they've only just split up.
110
00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:38,620
Not that they're split up
just that we're all orphans.
111
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:49,701
[Stella crying]
112
00:05:57,581 --> 00:06:00,861
[Stella crying]
113
00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:05,060
[microwave dings]
114
00:06:09,821 --> 00:06:10,821
[Frank coughs]
115
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:13,461
-[Stella continues crying]
-Fuck!
116
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,701
-You okay?
-Never better.
117
00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:18,301
Even got meself a date later.
118
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:20,620
Fantastic! Who's the lucky fella?
119
00:06:21,661 --> 00:06:24,500
Met him last week
in the ready meal section in Tesco.
120
00:06:24,581 --> 00:06:27,421
-What's he like?
-Fucking gorgeous.
121
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,101
What's his name?
122
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,261
Uh, Jack Beam.
123
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:37,221
[cheering]
124
00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:46,021
[Ian] ...said he'd only buy it
if I got my cock out.
125
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,500
-[Maxine] No way! [giggles]
-[Ian] Seriously! [laughs]
126
00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:49,820
[Ian] That's what he said!
127
00:06:49,901 --> 00:06:51,861
-[Ian laughs]
-[Maxine giggles]
128
00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:58,701
[Micky sighs]
129
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:03,261
It's understandable if you feel bad
about your mum and dad, y'know?
130
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,581
We used to have to eat together
every Sunday.
131
00:07:06,661 --> 00:07:09,861
Dad was never home in the week,
and Sundays was the only day he was.
132
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:12,301
Even if it was just
fish finger butties, it didn't matter,
133
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,341
so long as we was all there
round the table.
134
00:07:15,421 --> 00:07:17,060
Me favourite time of the whole week.
135
00:07:17,141 --> 00:07:18,820
Some people never have what you had.
136
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:19,861
[Maxine] Move on.
137
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,101
That's just life. That's what families do.
138
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,740
What's the point in marriage or families
if they're always gonna collapse anyway?
139
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,021
But you can't say that.
140
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:28,221
Yeah, I can.
141
00:07:28,301 --> 00:07:30,461
Rather not bother
if it's all gonna go tits up.
142
00:07:30,541 --> 00:07:31,901
Save meself the mither.
143
00:07:31,981 --> 00:07:33,461
Stick to bein' single.
144
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,260
-[Ian] Come on. We're goin' out.
-What?
145
00:07:43,341 --> 00:07:44,781
Don't argue. Just get ready.
146
00:07:44,861 --> 00:07:48,060
["Beautiful Ones" by Suede playing]
♪ ...psycho for drum machine ♪
147
00:07:48,141 --> 00:07:50,461
♪ Shaking their bits to the hits ♪
148
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:55,021
♪ Oh, drag acts, drug acts, suicides ♪
149
00:07:55,101 --> 00:07:57,341
♪ in your dad's suits ya hide ♪
150
00:07:57,421 --> 00:08:00,180
♪ Staining his name again ♪
151
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:05,301
♪ Oh, cracked up, stacked up, 22,
psycho... ♪
152
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:09,060
[Frank] Well, that's a good little girl,
Stella. Your brother'll be back soon.
153
00:08:09,141 --> 00:08:10,820
[Frank] Daddy won't be long, sweetheart.
154
00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:13,301
[Frank] Fuckin' hell!
Where the fuck'd you put it?
155
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,940
[Fast paced bass music]
156
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:32,940
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
157
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,581
[fast paced rock music]
158
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:50,061
-Back by midnight or you're grounded.
-Too much cleavage?
159
00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:51,541
Takin' the piss?
160
00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:53,261
You can never have enough cleavage.
161
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,220
I beg to differ.
162
00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:57,861
See you later.
163
00:08:59,100 --> 00:08:59,941
See you, Mum.
164
00:09:02,381 --> 00:09:03,941
Shane! C'mon.
165
00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:05,901
Dad's house. Lads' night in.
166
00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:16,941
-[lads cheering]
-What the fuck?
167
00:09:20,941 --> 00:09:21,860
[lad 1] Here, Paddy!
168
00:09:23,821 --> 00:09:25,421
-[Jamie] Get that beer in ya, Dad.
-[phone ringing]
169
00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:28,581
Divorce parties
are all the rage nowadays, Dad!
170
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:31,460
[indistinct chatter, yelling]
171
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:32,581
[lad 2] Cheers, lads!
172
00:09:35,181 --> 00:09:37,541
-Cheers!
-[lads cheering]
173
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:38,941
Party!
174
00:09:41,941 --> 00:09:43,741
What the fuck are we celebrating?
175
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,980
-Rosalita?
-[chuckles] No.
176
00:10:02,061 --> 00:10:03,541
[Herbert] Okay. Okay, I know.
177
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,541
The barnet. Before you say it...
178
00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:07,501
It is dyed.
179
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:10,021
But I prefer to use the word "coloured".
180
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,301
I'm not Rosali--
181
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:13,621
[man] May've shaved a few years off me age
182
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:15,781
but if I'd told the truth
you might not turn up.
183
00:10:16,781 --> 00:10:17,941
And, oh...
184
00:10:18,021 --> 00:10:20,741
And I added
just a few inches to me height.
185
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,021
What do you think?
Good enough for Tom Cruise?
186
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,541
-Excuse me?
-It's me! Herbert!
187
00:10:26,621 --> 00:10:28,661
I'm... Not... Rosalita.
188
00:10:28,741 --> 00:10:31,261
I never will be Rosalita.
Do you understand?
189
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:35,340
Now, do me a favour,
you desperate piece of shit.
190
00:10:35,421 --> 00:10:36,621
Do one!
191
00:10:36,701 --> 00:10:38,741
Although, I prefer the words "Fuck off"!
192
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:50,941
[lads cheering loudly]
193
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,501
[suspenseful music]
194
00:11:00,381 --> 00:11:03,021
[breathing heavily]
195
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:07,220
[woman] Herbert?
196
00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:08,821
Rosalita.
197
00:11:09,941 --> 00:11:13,941
Pleased to meet ya, Rosalita,
but I'm afraid I'm not Herbert.
198
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,181
You'll certainly do, though.
199
00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:18,381
[Rosalita] So don't tell me
you've been stood up as well.
200
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,381
-Kind of.
-Can I get you a drink to make up for it?
201
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:25,021
-[Rosalita] Here we go. Gay?
-Ha!
202
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:26,301
[scoffs]
203
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,460
Married?
204
00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:30,980
[scoffs] Might've known.
205
00:11:31,061 --> 00:11:33,901
Actually... No. Not ever.
206
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:34,781
[mobile phone beeps]
207
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:40,421
Well, then... What's your problem?
208
00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:43,421
Nothin', sweetheart.
209
00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:45,740
It's just, normally,
I'm the one that buys the drinks.
210
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:50,421
-What would you like?
-A vodka lime 'n lemonade, please.
211
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,821
-Double?
-Why not?
212
00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,141
Good.
213
00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:56,501
[heavy dance music playing]
214
00:12:08,821 --> 00:12:10,100
I'll get these.
215
00:12:11,421 --> 00:12:13,021
Oh, I'm sorry.
216
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,021
How to put someone off
in ten seconds, y'know,
217
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,421
next I'll be askin' if ya come here often.
218
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,781
[chuckles]
Or would you prefer the funny angle?
219
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:25,781
If this bar is a meat market,
you must be the prime rib.
220
00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:27,941
It's not funny, though.
221
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,621
Someone actually said that to me once.
222
00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:36,220
-What, you serious?
-On my life.
223
00:12:36,301 --> 00:12:37,541
Proper dick.
224
00:12:39,941 --> 00:12:41,141
I'm Gary.
225
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,220
[Gary] C'mon through.
226
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,781
[Gary] There's beer in the fridge.
Help yourself.
227
00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:08,620
-[Gary] Did it all meself.
-What?
228
00:13:08,701 --> 00:13:10,701
[Gary] This place. Did it meself.
229
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,501
It's mint!
230
00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:22,100
-I'm an architect.
-Yeah?
231
00:13:22,181 --> 00:13:24,340
[Gary] What about you?
232
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:26,620
-I've got me own company.
-Ah, doin' what?
233
00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:29,740
[Micky] Credit control.
Y'know, high end o' the market.
234
00:13:29,821 --> 00:13:32,261
Y'know, big rewards
on the back o' the credit crunch.
235
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:34,980
It can be ruthless, but... I love it.
236
00:13:35,061 --> 00:13:36,220
Yeah, sounds like you do.
237
00:13:36,301 --> 00:13:39,220
Y'know, people always said
I'd never do anything with my life.
238
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:41,821
Y'know, so I wanted
to prove 'em all wrong.
239
00:13:41,901 --> 00:13:43,261
Yeah. So I did.
240
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,781
Go on! Out, ya bastards!
241
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:48,220
Look, we warned ya! Slag.
242
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:51,021
Nowt wrong with ambition.
243
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:56,061
So? What're you into?
244
00:13:56,141 --> 00:13:57,901
Just a snog to start with.
245
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:01,460
Bit o' massage, some oral I prefer a 69,
246
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:06,460
but I don't usually go in for penetration
on the first date unless maybe anal beads.
247
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,021
-Y'know, if you've got 'em.
-I meant music.
248
00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:13,021
Oh.
249
00:14:13,860 --> 00:14:16,500
[upbeat bass music]
250
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:22,100
Morning, Frank. Toast?
251
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:25,941
Yeah.
252
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:30,381
If it's no trouble.
253
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:33,261
[Patty] No trouble at all.
254
00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:42,061
I don't think so, sunshine!
255
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:46,661
[Patty] No trouble at all.
256
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:51,500
[puffs]
257
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,980
-How dare you!
-Fucking hell!
258
00:15:00,061 --> 00:15:02,301
[Patty] You think Libby would give you
a second glance
259
00:15:02,381 --> 00:15:03,860
if she knew you stole my savings?
260
00:15:03,941 --> 00:15:07,541
[Frank] Oh, yeah? And what about you?
What is it for benefit fraud these days?
261
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:11,500
-Ten years. Max! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
-You... You give those back!
262
00:15:11,581 --> 00:15:13,460
Are you never satisfied, woman?
263
00:15:13,541 --> 00:15:16,781
[Frank] You've got a roof over your head.
You'd be fucked if it wasn't for me!
264
00:15:16,860 --> 00:15:19,381
Desolate! Homeless!
265
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,541
Doesn't give you the right
to take my money!
266
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,701
[Frank] Oh, yes, it does, sunshine!
And anyway, what's an old crow like you
267
00:15:24,781 --> 00:15:27,261
gonna spend the money on?
Fucking corn plasters?
268
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:32,500
I... am... your... landlord!
Hey? Benefit cards.
269
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,620
Money.
270
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:34,581
It's mine.
271
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:36,301
Comprende?
272
00:15:46,661 --> 00:15:48,781
[Mimi] Is this your idea
of revenge, is it?
273
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,821
[Mimi scoffs] Not satisfied
with ruinin' our first marriage,
274
00:15:52,901 --> 00:15:54,901
You wanna fuck this one up as well!
275
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:55,980
I got distracted.
276
00:15:56,061 --> 00:15:56,980
[Mimi scoffs]
277
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:01,021
Father Tony, a legitimate priest,
278
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,661
is tryin' to raise cash
for his new church roof.
279
00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:05,701
And I said
we might be able to help him out.
280
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,781
[Mimi] You wanna put things right,
meet me there at half ten.
281
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,340
Come on, shift!
282
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:16,821
[Paddy sighs heavily]
283
00:16:17,781 --> 00:16:19,821
Mimi, Rosalita. Rosalita, Mimi.
284
00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:24,380
Don't be late and leave the dog at home.
285
00:16:30,141 --> 00:16:31,941
[Father Tony] I'll... be straight with ya.
286
00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:34,541
I can't do it.
287
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,460
[Father Tony] It's against
all we stand for here. You know that.
288
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:39,500
[Mimi] God won't mind. How could He mind?
289
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,860
[Father Tony] I can understand what this
means to ya,
290
00:16:40,941 --> 00:16:42,821
but a blessing from me
won't take away the fact
291
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,860
that your children
remain illegitimate.
292
00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:47,061
[Paddy] With respect, Father,
we didn't come here for a lecture.
293
00:16:47,141 --> 00:16:49,860
-Don't!
-You're supposed to be a man of religion.
294
00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:51,821
[Paddy] An ambassador of goodwill?
295
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:52,821
What a load o' crap!
296
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,901
[Mimi] You can't say "crap" in church!
297
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,301
I'll say what I like, church or no church.
298
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,261
It wouldn't hurt you to help us out,
would it?
299
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,860
[Father Tony] Let's cut
to the chase, shall we?
300
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,340
We know all about you lot.
301
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:06,660
[Mimi] Us lot?
302
00:17:06,741 --> 00:17:08,741
[Father Tony] Throwing your weight
around the population of Chatsworth
303
00:17:08,821 --> 00:17:11,420
doesn't mean
you can throw it about around God.
304
00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,100
Not here, pal.
305
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:15,221
-Who you callin' "pal"?
-You don't scare me.
306
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,860
That's cos you've already got
the fear of God
307
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,781
-firmly implanted up your--
-[Mimi] Paddy!
308
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:24,940
To think that someone would actually
dress up and try imitate this hypocrisy.
309
00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:26,301
It's not his fault!
310
00:17:30,581 --> 00:17:31,501
You should leave.
311
00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:34,701
Now!
312
00:17:37,141 --> 00:17:39,461
[Mimi] I should've had an abortion
when I had the chance,
313
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,301
cos you're not fit to be a father!
314
00:17:42,981 --> 00:17:43,981
I'm sorry, Jesus.
315
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:46,900
[Mimi] I... I didn't mean what I said
about the abortion.
316
00:17:46,981 --> 00:17:49,221
I'd have had a hundred of his kids.
317
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,021
I'll say ten Hail Mary's.
318
00:18:06,621 --> 00:18:09,861
-You're not stayin' for a brew, hot lips?
-Is there any point?
319
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:13,021
I like ya.
320
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:18,621
I like you, too, if you must know.
321
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:21,981
You could at least leave me your number.
322
00:18:23,341 --> 00:18:26,900
What, so I can keep checking me phone
and wonder why you've not called?
323
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,381
[Gary] It's not my style.
324
00:18:32,461 --> 00:18:33,621
You call me, then.
325
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:35,981
[Gary] Later.
326
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:42,581
Let's go for a drink. Nothing heavy.
327
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:45,861
Hmm?
328
00:18:46,581 --> 00:18:48,021
[Micky chuckles]
329
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:00,981
[Micky] Sorry I'm late.
330
00:19:01,061 --> 00:19:02,541
Been stinging some fit bird.
331
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:05,741
-Oh, aye? What's his name?
-[Paddy] Right. The Reilly's.
332
00:19:05,821 --> 00:19:07,061
Old pals o' mine.
333
00:19:07,141 --> 00:19:09,501
[Paddy] They got a few burger vans
dotted about the place.
334
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:12,861
[Paddy] Some new firm's been treadin'
on their patch, up at Hilltop.
335
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,581
They're payin' us to get rid of 'em.
336
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:17,341
What?
337
00:19:18,581 --> 00:19:19,501
We know.
338
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:21,221
We're already on to it.
339
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:22,420
It was Mam's suggestion.
340
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:25,541
Wanted to make sure we handle the business
side of things here from now on.
341
00:19:25,621 --> 00:19:26,501
My contact, though.
342
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,541
But you're goin' away, though.
343
00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:33,700
-Anything else?
-No, not at the moment.
344
00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:37,221
-Right then.
-Huh. Best be gettin' off.
345
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:46,021
[anticipatory music]
346
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,180
[Micky] Gary? I was just wondering,
um, d'you fancy that drink?
347
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,821
I mean, just a drink, y'know, nowt else.
348
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,741
Although that's up to you.
[chuckles] I'm easy.
349
00:20:03,821 --> 00:20:06,101
But listen, if you're busy 'n that,
it's no hassle.
350
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:09,420
Y'know, I mean, there's plenty
o' other stuff I've gotta do, like, um...
351
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,461
like, uh...
352
00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:13,180
Well, I've gotta go to the doctor's.
353
00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:16,940
Uh, not that I've got herpes or nothin',
y'know, it's just like, uh, uh, a medical
354
00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:18,821
that once every six months check--
355
00:20:21,461 --> 00:20:23,781
[church bells tolling]
356
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:25,301
[knock at door]
357
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,420
Thought I'd cheer meself up
with a bit o' make-believe
358
00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,700
cos that's all our marriage was. Fiction.
359
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,821
[sighs heavily] It was real for us.
360
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,180
[Shane] Tell him he's got two days.
361
00:20:51,261 --> 00:20:54,141
If he's not shifted by then,
things are gonna get really nasty.
362
00:20:55,141 --> 00:20:56,021
Right, yeah.
363
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,180
Oi! I thought we told you
to be gone by Wednesday!
364
00:21:05,261 --> 00:21:06,700
You takin' the piss or what?
365
00:21:09,341 --> 00:21:11,261
Since when did architects flip burgers?
366
00:21:11,861 --> 00:21:14,261
[Mimi] Did you ever love me
or did you just marry me
367
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,741
-because it was the right thing to do?
-'Course I loved ya.
368
00:21:17,501 --> 00:21:19,940
-Ireland? Why, exactly?
-Business.
369
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:20,900
Or pleasure?
370
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:25,061
You've got some slut tucked back
in the homeland, haven't ya?
371
00:21:25,141 --> 00:21:26,541
[Gary] I just wanted to impress.
372
00:21:27,221 --> 00:21:29,700
-What, is this your credit control?
-[car horn tooting]
373
00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:32,660
A branch of it, yeah. The flat?
374
00:21:33,461 --> 00:21:34,821
It's me brother's.
375
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:37,021
I'm mindin' it
till he gets back next week.
376
00:21:38,541 --> 00:21:41,021
So, you were just stringing me
along with all your lies.
377
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:43,981
-It's that fuckin' Arlene, isn't it?
-[Paddy] Arlene?
378
00:21:44,061 --> 00:21:47,741
-Cousin Arlene? [chuckles]
-Away enough times on business.
379
00:21:47,821 --> 00:21:50,180
You were never here for the birth
of any of our kids.
380
00:21:50,261 --> 00:21:54,301
-You could even have a second family!
-You've lost it, ya mad bitch!
381
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:58,541
[Gary] Well, you know everything now.
I haven't got any more secrets.
382
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:00,141
[Shane] Micky!
383
00:22:02,660 --> 00:22:06,700
Look, just leg it. He's a proper
mental bastard. He'll fuck you up!
384
00:22:06,781 --> 00:22:08,501
Can't you tell him that you know me?
385
00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:12,061
-[Gary] Tell him about us?
-Look, I said leg it!
386
00:22:14,301 --> 00:22:16,180
I'm not the only one with a secret, am I?
387
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:18,861
[Micky grunts]
388
00:22:21,621 --> 00:22:24,501
I've given him 48 hours.
He'll be gone, all right.
389
00:22:34,301 --> 00:22:38,981
You better find a priest to marry us,
so we can get divorced.
390
00:22:39,061 --> 00:22:42,221
Because if I have to find one,
I swear, Paddy,
391
00:22:42,301 --> 00:22:47,180
it'll be to perform the viaticum before
packin' you in a box back to Ireland!
392
00:22:53,101 --> 00:22:55,061
[tense music]
393
00:22:59,341 --> 00:23:01,180
I didn't think I'd see you again.
394
00:23:02,660 --> 00:23:05,101
Look, I panicked! [stammers]
395
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:08,381
[Gary] A box of choccies
or some flowers woulda been nice.
396
00:23:12,221 --> 00:23:14,381
Why didn't you tell me you were a Maguire?
397
00:23:16,581 --> 00:23:17,581
Well, does it matter?
398
00:23:18,781 --> 00:23:21,781
No. Not at all.
399
00:23:24,781 --> 00:23:27,581
-So, you don't mind about the...
-What? This?
400
00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:29,741
Nah.
401
00:23:29,821 --> 00:23:32,301
You can give me another one later,
if you like.
402
00:23:32,381 --> 00:23:33,621
[Micky smirks]
403
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:38,261
-So, we're still boyfriends, then?
-God, yeah!
404
00:23:38,341 --> 00:23:40,861
I'm shagging Paddy Maguire!
405
00:23:50,861 --> 00:23:53,221
Just promise me you'll keep it stum.
406
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:57,781
Now, y'know how it is,
I like to keep a low profile.
407
00:23:57,861 --> 00:23:58,900
[Micky] Yeah?
408
00:24:04,141 --> 00:24:06,180
-Paddy?
-[Micky] Yeah?
409
00:24:08,021 --> 00:24:12,221
When me brother gets back,
I'm gonna be homeless.
410
00:24:12,301 --> 00:24:14,821
I wanted to ask if I can stay at yours.
411
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:21,420
Look, I know we've only been together
for a couple o' days,
412
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,581
but it doesn't have to be heavy.
413
00:24:23,660 --> 00:24:25,180
Thanks.
414
00:24:25,261 --> 00:24:29,101
[Gary] Just think of it as
kippin' on the sofa.
415
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:31,981
-But you'd be in my bed?
-[Gary] Yeah?
416
00:24:32,061 --> 00:24:33,180
Top, innit?
417
00:24:34,621 --> 00:24:36,221
I thought we were just havin'
a bit o' fun.
418
00:24:36,301 --> 00:24:38,261
[Gary] Yeah, we are. Aren't we?
419
00:24:40,221 --> 00:24:41,861
Yeah.
420
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:45,261
So, let me kip at yours, then.
421
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:49,061
Keep things like this.
422
00:24:49,141 --> 00:24:51,101
[Gary] Why mess with the momentum?
423
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:55,180
[tense music]
424
00:24:56,420 --> 00:24:58,660
[Gary] I'm shagging Paddy Maguire.
425
00:25:06,261 --> 00:25:09,141
["Champagne Supernova" by Oasis playing]
426
00:25:12,821 --> 00:25:14,301
What's with the face?
427
00:25:15,741 --> 00:25:17,021
Nothin' much.
428
00:25:17,861 --> 00:25:19,341
I just fucked up, that's all.
429
00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:23,541
I've said somethin' I shouldn't've
and it's too late to put it right.
430
00:25:24,261 --> 00:25:26,861
Take it from me.
It's never too late to put things right.
431
00:25:28,501 --> 00:25:29,660
What about you and Mam?
432
00:25:32,501 --> 00:25:35,700
I know what I did was wrong and I live
with a lot o' regrets, but what can I do?
433
00:25:36,381 --> 00:25:38,460
Let it cripple me?
What's the point in that?
434
00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:40,940
Got a life to live.
435
00:25:41,021 --> 00:25:41,981
Have to make it work.
436
00:25:45,541 --> 00:25:46,581
Do you regret...
437
00:25:48,141 --> 00:25:49,021
Mam?
438
00:25:51,420 --> 00:25:53,021
I could never regret that, son.
439
00:26:07,101 --> 00:26:08,541
Where's the fuckin' fire?
440
00:26:09,741 --> 00:26:11,581
Civic Hall's got a slot.
441
00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:13,341
-When?
-Four o'clock today.
442
00:26:16,301 --> 00:26:17,261
He's been helpin' me.
443
00:26:17,341 --> 00:26:19,341
-Listen!
-[Bruce] All right! All right!
444
00:26:19,420 --> 00:26:20,861
What exactly is it you want me to do?
445
00:26:21,821 --> 00:26:23,581
Gonna be there
when he takes you up the aisle.
446
00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:25,061
[Paddy] He's gonna be best man.
447
00:26:25,141 --> 00:26:26,420
And maid of honour.
448
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:29,621
Right. I'd best start. Shitloads to sort.
449
00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:32,700
Could at least look happy about it.
450
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:36,021
Civic... Hall?
451
00:26:37,101 --> 00:26:39,141
I did the best I could on short notice.
452
00:26:41,781 --> 00:26:43,021
But we're religious!
453
00:26:44,861 --> 00:26:47,261
[Father Tony] Patrick, please! Patrick!
454
00:26:50,341 --> 00:26:52,261
We do this or we don't. Your call.
455
00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:55,900
[Mimi] I know what your game is.
456
00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:59,180
Because of my faith,
you thought I'd call it off.
457
00:26:59,261 --> 00:27:00,341
[Mimi] Not gonna work.
458
00:27:01,301 --> 00:27:06,301
[Mimi] We're gettin' married at four
o'clock today whether you like it or not!
459
00:27:06,381 --> 00:27:08,021
Am I makin' myself clear?
460
00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:17,940
[suspenseful music]
461
00:27:25,781 --> 00:27:28,420
[upbeat music]
462
00:27:32,741 --> 00:27:35,460
-[Patty] Excuse me!
-Oh, I don't think so.
463
00:27:36,220 --> 00:27:38,900
[Patty] What? What're you? Do you mind?
464
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:40,501
Libby!
465
00:27:43,821 --> 00:27:45,501
-Well?
-[Patty sighs]
466
00:27:46,420 --> 00:27:47,581
[Patty sighs scornfully]
467
00:27:53,821 --> 00:27:54,660
Tony Barton.
468
00:27:55,301 --> 00:27:56,141
[Patty] Remember him?
469
00:27:57,501 --> 00:27:59,741
He knew you since you were a wee bubby.
470
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,420
They gave him four months to live,
poor bastard.
471
00:28:04,381 --> 00:28:05,460
He came straight round,
472
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:07,781
signed it over to me.
473
00:28:07,861 --> 00:28:10,261
As far as they know, he's still alive.
474
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,741
[Patty] The system paid us nothing
when you father dumped me
475
00:28:13,821 --> 00:28:15,700
and left the two of us alone and skint.
476
00:28:17,220 --> 00:28:18,220
I do this for you and me.
477
00:28:19,621 --> 00:28:23,460
Who-who do you think's been paying
for your extra medication all these years?
478
00:28:24,581 --> 00:28:26,101
[Patty] It's my revenge!
479
00:28:26,180 --> 00:28:27,861
[Patty] You understand that, don't cha?
480
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:31,021
Well, Frank violated that arrangement.
481
00:28:31,101 --> 00:28:32,061
He deserved it.
482
00:28:33,741 --> 00:28:36,021
[sighs] I did it to save ya.
483
00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:38,940
-From what?
-That joker!
484
00:28:39,821 --> 00:28:42,501
When are you gonna realize
that he's the man I love?
485
00:28:42,581 --> 00:28:44,581
You love his family!
486
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:46,980
You've still got them! Stop complaining!
487
00:28:49,460 --> 00:28:52,021
[Libby] Liam, your dad's been arrested.
488
00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:54,261
I know. Carl told me. Laters.
489
00:28:55,980 --> 00:28:56,980
[door shutting]
490
00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:02,061
I need money to bail him out, Mother!
Where is it?
491
00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:03,940
Where is the money?
492
00:29:04,021 --> 00:29:07,660
[laughs] Over my dead body!
493
00:29:07,741 --> 00:29:08,861
[Patty laughs]
494
00:29:10,220 --> 00:29:12,660
She just doesn't want me to be happy!
495
00:29:12,741 --> 00:29:15,660
Every time! Dunno what's wrong with her!
496
00:29:15,741 --> 00:29:17,821
Well, y'know,
we could put her in a home...
497
00:29:18,501 --> 00:29:21,501
y'know, or euthanasia.
One way ticket in a cuckoo clock.
498
00:29:22,141 --> 00:29:24,220
Look, the minute
you bail us out of here, babe,
499
00:29:24,301 --> 00:29:25,541
that's what we'll do, hey?
500
00:29:28,341 --> 00:29:29,621
We can't afford the bail.
501
00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:30,660
What!
502
00:29:31,821 --> 00:29:33,220
Fuckin' no!
503
00:29:33,301 --> 00:29:35,741
They'll cart me off to prison
if we can't pay!
504
00:29:35,821 --> 00:29:39,061
Fuckin' hell! I can't cope in prison!
You don't know what it's like!
505
00:29:39,141 --> 00:29:41,021
[sighs heavily]
506
00:29:41,101 --> 00:29:42,420
Well, okay, you do.
507
00:29:43,261 --> 00:29:46,621
Your mother
has got money stashed away somewhere.
508
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:48,420
Just find it! Just get me out of here!
509
00:29:48,501 --> 00:29:51,541
[Libby] I'll see what I can do,
but I might need a bit of time.
510
00:29:51,621 --> 00:29:54,381
Oh! Fuckin' time
511
00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:56,660
Mine's runnin' out! Y'know what?
512
00:29:56,741 --> 00:29:59,420
They're transferrin' some fuckin nutter
from another prison
513
00:29:59,501 --> 00:30:01,341
to my holding cell before his trial.
514
00:30:01,420 --> 00:30:05,420
Calls himself Shit Burglar or Burger
or somethin' like that.
515
00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:08,180
He... his last five cellmates...
516
00:30:08,261 --> 00:30:11,141
An' if I don't get out of here soon,
I'm gonna be number six, aren't I?
517
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:17,821
Crisis.
518
00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:20,460
Mam's gettin' married today.
I heard her tellin' Dad.
519
00:30:20,541 --> 00:30:23,940
-What? Who the hell to?
-That new fella!
520
00:30:24,021 --> 00:30:26,621
What, the one from the supermarket?
Jack Beam?
521
00:30:27,460 --> 00:30:29,301
They've only been on a couple o' dates!
522
00:30:29,381 --> 00:30:31,781
-[Jamie] We've not even met this bloke!
-What is she playin' at?
523
00:30:31,861 --> 00:30:32,821
She's on the rebound!
524
00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:35,621
-[Jamie] What's Dad said?
-Well, he didn't look best pleased.
525
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:38,301
It's not really any of his business,
now they're divorced.
526
00:30:38,381 --> 00:30:39,660
It is, if he still loves her!
527
00:30:39,741 --> 00:30:41,501
Yeah, and what makes ya think that?
528
00:30:41,581 --> 00:30:43,861
Apart from the fact
you've never left your mam's tit!
529
00:30:46,861 --> 00:30:48,301
Somethin' he said, actually.
530
00:30:49,101 --> 00:30:53,261
He got all emotional and like,
misty-eyed over Mam before.
531
00:30:53,341 --> 00:30:55,781
Look, we've gotta stop it
for Mam as much as Dad.
532
00:30:55,861 --> 00:30:58,501
[Karen] She needs to make
her own mistakes, Micky.
533
00:30:58,581 --> 00:30:59,660
It's been a week, Karen!
534
00:30:59,741 --> 00:31:03,220
I mean, ain't gettin' married
after a week more than just a mistake?
535
00:31:03,301 --> 00:31:05,381
Who is this geezer? Where does he live?
536
00:31:18,980 --> 00:31:19,821
Gorgeous.
537
00:31:31,021 --> 00:31:31,861
Ready?
538
00:31:37,541 --> 00:31:41,021
[all J. Beams grunting]
539
00:31:42,021 --> 00:31:43,261
Is that the last?
540
00:31:44,141 --> 00:31:45,460
[Micky] Sorted.
541
00:31:45,541 --> 00:31:47,021
[all J. Beams grunting]
542
00:31:47,101 --> 00:31:49,781
[Jamie sighs] You cock!
You didn't turn the page over!
543
00:31:50,501 --> 00:31:52,980
-Bollocks!
-[Shane] Fuckin' hell!
544
00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:54,900
There's only one option left. C'mon.
545
00:31:57,740 --> 00:31:59,301
[Bruce] Love is patient.
546
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,621
Love is kind and not jealous.
547
00:32:02,220 --> 00:32:04,740
Love does not brag and is not arrogant.
548
00:32:04,821 --> 00:32:06,621
[quietly] Did you choose these words?
549
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:07,781
[whispers] Did I fuck!
550
00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:09,940
[clears throat]
551
00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:13,261
[Bruce] Love does not rejoice
in unrighteousness.
552
00:32:13,341 --> 00:32:15,381
Love rejoices in the truth.
553
00:32:15,460 --> 00:32:17,541
[fast paced chase music]
554
00:32:21,420 --> 00:32:23,900
[Bruce] Love endures all things.
555
00:32:23,980 --> 00:32:26,180
Love is not provoked,
556
00:32:26,261 --> 00:32:28,301
does not take into account
wrongs suffered.
557
00:32:28,381 --> 00:32:29,821
[Micky] Wait! Mam!
558
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:32,420
Mam?
559
00:32:32,501 --> 00:32:33,700
-Dad?
-What the fuck?
560
00:32:33,781 --> 00:32:35,740
Look, I'm sorry, it's not what ya...
561
00:32:39,781 --> 00:32:40,660
I love your mother.
562
00:32:41,621 --> 00:32:43,261
I couldn't let her go.
563
00:32:43,341 --> 00:32:44,501
We...
564
00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:47,261
Both made big mistakes, but...
565
00:32:47,341 --> 00:32:48,980
[Micky] I think I speak for all of us...
566
00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:51,581
When I say thank you.
567
00:32:52,781 --> 00:32:53,740
This...
568
00:32:55,021 --> 00:32:56,940
Is the happiest day of my life.
569
00:32:57,021 --> 00:32:58,301
[Micky] Our lives.
570
00:33:00,141 --> 00:33:01,180
I love you, Mimi.
571
00:33:04,501 --> 00:33:05,541
[clears throat] Sorry.
572
00:33:06,861 --> 00:33:09,021
[woman] I now pronounce you man and wife.
573
00:33:22,980 --> 00:33:26,021
[Irish dance music playing]
574
00:33:30,220 --> 00:33:33,341
Think because Frank's not here
things'll go back to the way they were?
575
00:33:34,301 --> 00:33:35,180
Not happenin'!
576
00:33:51,460 --> 00:33:55,021
[dramatic music]
577
00:34:01,101 --> 00:34:01,980
[jail gate shuts]
578
00:34:04,301 --> 00:34:06,220
-Here you go, love.
-Thank you.
579
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:11,860
[upbeat music]
580
00:34:22,941 --> 00:34:25,621
[dramatic music]
581
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:47,340
[zipper]
582
00:34:47,421 --> 00:34:51,381
["The Band Played Waltzing Matilda"
by The Pogues playing]
583
00:34:59,621 --> 00:35:03,021
[cheering]
584
00:35:04,941 --> 00:35:06,860
["Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas]
585
00:35:06,941 --> 00:35:12,261
♪ Gotta get that
Boom boom boom ♪
586
00:35:12,340 --> 00:35:16,340
I know my son, and I know
when he's distracted by something.
587
00:35:16,421 --> 00:35:18,780
Why don't you ask her over for tea?
588
00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:23,261
God, Micky,
she's not a fuckin' vegan, is she?
589
00:35:23,340 --> 00:35:25,581
No, but...
590
00:35:25,661 --> 00:35:28,741
-Have you told her ya love her yet?
-Nah.
591
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:30,421
Don't you think it's about time ya did?
592
00:35:30,501 --> 00:35:33,741
I think I fucked it up
by tellin' a few lies.
593
00:35:33,820 --> 00:35:35,421
And she's fallen for it?
594
00:35:36,461 --> 00:35:40,061
[Mimi] If you want the relationship
to work, tell her the truth.
595
00:35:40,141 --> 00:35:43,101
[Mimi] It's the only basis
for a solid future.
596
00:35:43,181 --> 00:35:45,101
She must like you for you.
597
00:35:45,181 --> 00:35:48,021
♪ I've got that boom boom boom... ♪
598
00:35:48,101 --> 00:35:50,581
[indistinct chatter]
599
00:35:50,661 --> 00:35:53,741
[Karen] Okay, everyone!
I think it's probably time
600
00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:56,661
that the happy couple
had a little bit of time on their own.
601
00:35:56,741 --> 00:35:59,021
-Yeah! You can have your own room back!
-[laughter]
602
00:35:59,101 --> 00:36:01,941
[indistinct cheering, chatter]
603
00:36:07,021 --> 00:36:09,101
[banging]
604
00:36:09,181 --> 00:36:12,021
[banging, squeaking]
605
00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:19,621
[Mimi] My arse is in bulk!
606
00:36:19,701 --> 00:36:21,741
[Paddy] Don't ruin the momentum!
607
00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:24,541
-How're we gonna get outta this one?
-I don't know.
608
00:36:24,621 --> 00:36:28,461
-You should've just told 'em the truth.
-What?! Oh, aye.
609
00:36:28,541 --> 00:36:30,941
"Sons! We found out
our marriage wasn't real,
610
00:36:31,021 --> 00:36:33,541
but we got married again
so you'd all be legitimised."
611
00:36:33,621 --> 00:36:38,021
D'you know how fucked up that sounds?
Nothin's changed. I still want a divorce.
612
00:36:39,300 --> 00:36:42,541
-Okay.
-[Paddy] And I'm still leavin' tomorrow.
613
00:36:44,021 --> 00:36:48,141
[emotive music]
614
00:36:48,221 --> 00:36:52,820
-[disco music playing]
-[indistinct chatter, laughter]
615
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:56,461
Here y'are. Get on this!
I just got a call.
616
00:36:56,541 --> 00:36:59,061
You know that prick on the burger van?
617
00:36:59,141 --> 00:37:02,661
He's only been blagging to people
that he's shagging Paddy Maguire!
618
00:37:03,860 --> 00:37:05,981
Fuckin' cock!
619
00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:10,421
[dramatic music]
620
00:37:16,741 --> 00:37:18,261
How could you betray me?
621
00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:20,541
I had no choice.
622
00:37:20,621 --> 00:37:23,581
Just tell me where the money is
and I'll post your bail.
623
00:37:23,661 --> 00:37:24,941
Dead... simple.
624
00:37:25,541 --> 00:37:26,901
Over my dead body.
625
00:37:30,621 --> 00:37:31,741
The, the basin!
626
00:37:32,941 --> 00:37:33,981
Of my commode.
627
00:37:37,461 --> 00:37:38,661
-Libby.
-[door shuts]
628
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,221
[louder] Libby!
629
00:37:42,941 --> 00:37:44,181
[sighs]
630
00:37:54,741 --> 00:37:55,661
Oh, my God.
631
00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:58,701
Our honeymoon.
632
00:38:00,701 --> 00:38:02,021
[Mimi sighs]
633
00:38:03,340 --> 00:38:05,860
You carried that round in your pocket
for two years, y'know.
634
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:10,780
Got a confession to make.
635
00:38:12,661 --> 00:38:14,461
[Mimi] It's not from Giant's Causeway.
636
00:38:16,101 --> 00:38:18,061
Our Shane
got the real one stuck up his nose,
637
00:38:18,141 --> 00:38:20,021
when you was away in Belfast.
638
00:38:21,221 --> 00:38:22,541
Nearly had a thrombo.
639
00:38:23,941 --> 00:38:27,061
Got our Jamie to go out
and find another stone when we got back.
640
00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:32,581
So, I walked around with this
in my pocket for nothin', then. [chuckles]
641
00:38:35,461 --> 00:38:37,541
[Paddy] I wouldn't let you wash this,
remember?
642
00:38:37,621 --> 00:38:38,661
Oh, God.
643
00:38:39,661 --> 00:38:40,581
My tears.
644
00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:42,780
You wanted to keep my tears.
645
00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:44,581
The day Lennon was shot.
646
00:38:44,661 --> 00:38:46,021
Nothin' to do with Lennon.
647
00:38:48,421 --> 00:38:51,501
[Mimi] Our Jamie
said his first word that day. "Mam."
648
00:38:51,581 --> 00:38:52,941
His first word was "Da."
649
00:38:57,221 --> 00:38:59,021
Mandy's first word was "Dad".
650
00:38:59,820 --> 00:39:03,820
[emotive music]
651
00:39:03,901 --> 00:39:05,901
-[Gary] Cheers, mate. Thanks very much.
-[customer] Cheers.
652
00:39:09,261 --> 00:39:12,061
Feel good
shaggin' the cock o' Chatsworth? Hey?
653
00:39:12,141 --> 00:39:15,621
[Micky] You shoutin' the odds off
about me! I said, "Keep stum," didn't I?
654
00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:18,981
Well, Paddy, listen--
655
00:39:20,701 --> 00:39:22,380
I'm not Paddy Maguire, okay?
656
00:39:23,181 --> 00:39:24,941
-What?
-I'm tired with the lies!
657
00:39:25,621 --> 00:39:29,860
With mine, yours, everyone else's!
It's not worth it!
658
00:39:31,061 --> 00:39:33,141
[Micky] Look, you wanna know the truth?
659
00:39:33,221 --> 00:39:36,380
I'm a closet poofter
who wears furry slippers!
660
00:39:36,461 --> 00:39:39,261
I file me toenails!
I like "The Waltons"! No!
661
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:43,380
I love... "The Waltons".
662
00:39:43,461 --> 00:39:45,941
And I had a dog what used to suck me off!
663
00:39:47,941 --> 00:39:50,181
So, you still wanna go out, then?
664
00:39:50,261 --> 00:39:51,701
-Hey?
-You're not Paddy?
665
00:39:52,581 --> 00:39:53,741
Yeah, I thought not.
666
00:39:56,701 --> 00:39:59,941
Get this van out of here by midnight
or I'll fuckin' scalp ya!
667
00:40:01,141 --> 00:40:03,101
[Gary breathes heavily]
668
00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:29,141
Which was hers?
669
00:40:31,701 --> 00:40:32,941
They were all hers.
670
00:40:41,141 --> 00:40:43,021
We did all right, you and me, y'know.
671
00:40:43,661 --> 00:40:46,021
-I know, love.
-There were good days.
672
00:40:47,860 --> 00:40:49,261
We were a brilliant family.
673
00:40:49,340 --> 00:40:50,300
We are...
674
00:40:51,021 --> 00:40:52,261
A brilliant family.
675
00:40:59,541 --> 00:41:01,501
I'm sorry I couldn't make it work.
676
00:41:04,221 --> 00:41:06,340
-[whispers] Keep it, Paddy.
-No.
677
00:41:06,421 --> 00:41:07,541
[Paddy sniffs]
678
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:10,701
You keep it.
679
00:41:12,581 --> 00:41:14,501
It'll remind you of how it used to be.
680
00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:16,741
That life we had.
681
00:41:19,981 --> 00:41:24,021
[emotive music]
682
00:41:29,981 --> 00:41:31,221
[Mimi] You're a good dad.
683
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:34,501
Deep down in there, you're a good man.
684
00:41:54,541 --> 00:41:56,061
What the fuck are you doing?
685
00:41:58,621 --> 00:42:00,061
What does it look like?
686
00:42:00,141 --> 00:42:01,221
Makin' a mistake!
687
00:42:02,461 --> 00:42:04,661
[Micky] I know your marriage is a sham!
688
00:42:04,741 --> 00:42:06,300
I heard you both.
689
00:42:06,380 --> 00:42:09,101
Talkin' about divorce and Ireland.
690
00:42:09,181 --> 00:42:10,461
Look, don't try and deny it.
691
00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:14,981
[Micky] Mum, you told me
the only basis for a solid relationship
692
00:42:15,061 --> 00:42:16,181
is the truth.
693
00:42:18,340 --> 00:42:20,061
So, is this because it's love...
694
00:42:20,741 --> 00:42:22,141
Or just because it's easy?
695
00:42:31,501 --> 00:42:32,941
Just do the right thing.
696
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:36,021
Not for us, or anyone else...
697
00:42:37,380 --> 00:42:38,300
But for you.
698
00:42:47,941 --> 00:42:49,340
We'll love ya no matter what.
699
00:42:57,860 --> 00:43:01,421
[Frank] Way! [chuckles]
700
00:43:01,501 --> 00:43:04,141
Y'know, you shouldn't
beat yourself up about it, mate.
701
00:43:04,221 --> 00:43:06,621
I mean, if we're all really honest
702
00:43:06,701 --> 00:43:09,421
wouldn't take that much
for us to murder one of our kids.
703
00:43:12,981 --> 00:43:15,221
Most of us
might stop at dismembering, though.
704
00:43:16,261 --> 00:43:17,261
[Frank] Y'know?
705
00:43:17,941 --> 00:43:21,061
[laughing]
I'm only I'm only fuckin' with ya!
706
00:43:21,141 --> 00:43:23,541
[Frank] Come on! Come on. Your deal.
707
00:43:27,941 --> 00:43:29,501
-Love.
-Hey.
708
00:43:32,421 --> 00:43:34,621
-Gonna let Mum stew for a while...
-All right.
709
00:43:34,701 --> 00:43:37,941
...and you and me, sweetheart,
are goin' out gallivanting.
710
00:43:38,021 --> 00:43:40,701
Oh! I fuckin' love you, Libby Croker!
711
00:43:46,941 --> 00:43:51,021
[Mimi] The first date I had with Paddy,
I was wearin' this little black dress.
712
00:43:51,101 --> 00:43:55,860
[Mimi] I looked great.
He knew it and I knew it.
713
00:43:55,941 --> 00:43:57,941
What're you gonna tell the other two?
714
00:44:00,101 --> 00:44:03,621
Don't worry about them.
They're used to you disappearin'
715
00:44:03,701 --> 00:44:05,541
and me just bein' around.
716
00:44:14,461 --> 00:44:17,780
[Mimi] Wore that dress again
for our first anniversary.
717
00:44:17,860 --> 00:44:21,021
[Mimi] Couldn't get into it
for the second. Or third.
718
00:44:21,101 --> 00:44:24,501
I didn't chuck it out, though.
Hung on to it for years,
719
00:44:24,581 --> 00:44:27,860
tellin' meself that one day
it'd fit again.
720
00:44:27,941 --> 00:44:29,661
Ain't never did.
721
00:44:29,741 --> 00:44:35,421
It was in the wardrobe years,
just hangin'. Waitin'.
722
00:44:35,501 --> 00:44:36,860
Goodbye, Mimi.
723
00:44:39,860 --> 00:44:42,461
[emotive music]
724
00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:47,021
[Mimi] In the end,
I had to admit defeat and let it go.
725
00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:50,261
It just didn't fit anymore.
726
00:44:51,541 --> 00:44:52,941
Just didn't fit.
727
00:44:56,941 --> 00:44:58,981
I've been seeing someone else.
728
00:44:59,061 --> 00:45:03,461
[Joe] I want your wife, who I've been
fucking on and off for nearly a year.
729
00:45:03,541 --> 00:45:07,981
One team of poofs stands between us
and 1,000 quid.
730
00:45:08,061 --> 00:45:10,101
[Ian] Got the feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore.
731
00:45:10,181 --> 00:45:11,261
Everyone'll think I'm gay!
732
00:45:11,340 --> 00:45:13,380
-Ah, fuck it. I don't mind.
-Me neither.
733
00:45:13,461 --> 00:45:16,061
[cries out] I think I've pulled something.
734
00:45:16,141 --> 00:45:18,061
Something or someone?
735
00:45:18,141 --> 00:45:19,780
Mr Arlington!
736
00:45:21,981 --> 00:45:23,581
[Maxine giggles]
737
00:45:23,661 --> 00:45:26,461
-Let's kill the cunt!
-You don't know what he'll do.
738
00:45:26,541 --> 00:45:29,261
He's a convicted fucking murderer.
739
00:46:09,340 --> 00:46:11,101
[newsman] Elsewhere,
police are investigating
740
00:46:11,181 --> 00:46:13,900
a spate of disappearances
in the Manchester area.
741
00:46:13,981 --> 00:46:16,061
They say
it is a particularly unusual case,
742
00:46:16,141 --> 00:46:18,860
as all the victims
have the name "J. Beam".
743
00:46:18,941 --> 00:46:22,181
And in other news, rallies today continued
outside the town hall.
744
00:46:22,261 --> 00:46:24,300
The message was clear...
745
00:46:24,380 --> 00:46:26,261
Fuckin' love my kids.
83545
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