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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,380 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:12,061 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:16,341 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,421 --> 00:00:19,541 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,021 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,061 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:30,741 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,900 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,301 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:42,021 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:46,501 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,821 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,501 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,501 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,501 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,381 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,821 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,101 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,861 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,741 Party! 22 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,181 [music fades out] 23 00:01:22,261 --> 00:01:23,780 [classical music] 24 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:27,101 [Patty] I once fell in love with a man I'd never met. 25 00:01:27,181 --> 00:01:29,621 Actor. Movie star. 26 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,261 Handsome thing. 27 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:36,420 Dangerous lips. The promise of sin in smouldering brown eyes. 28 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,461 I wanted him. 29 00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:42,140 I wanted him so badly it hurt. 30 00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:48,140 Years later, I was working in a bookshop and in he walks. 31 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:51,420 Out of fantasy and into the flesh. 32 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,060 And we talked. Laughed. 33 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,301 But it wasn't too long before I realised that the man I loved 34 00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:59,261 was capable only of loving himself. 35 00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:05,940 Meeting him ruined every memory of him I'd ever held dear. 36 00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:09,301 I've never watched a film of his since. 37 00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:14,781 The fantasy is always better than the reality. 38 00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,461 [moaning] 39 00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:24,380 Eamonn, Eamonn, yes, Eamonn! 40 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,501 Oh, God, I'm coming. 41 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,941 Oh, God, I'm coming. 42 00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:29,661 I'm coming... [moaning] 43 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:30,781 [Carl] Libby! 44 00:02:35,581 --> 00:02:39,301 She made this horrible moaning noise, kept shouting, 45 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:41,540 "Eamonn, Eamonn!" 46 00:02:41,621 --> 00:02:44,540 Then cried out to God that she were coming. 47 00:02:44,621 --> 00:02:46,781 Can you imagine how terrible that must be? 48 00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,301 A prisoner in your own body, 49 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:51,141 your only escape, your only release, in your dreams. 50 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:55,260 [Frank] That's all they are, babe, just dreams, there's nowt in 'em. 51 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,581 I still dream of boffing Monica. 52 00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:01,700 [sighs] 53 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,741 [Libby] Your nerves must be shot to pieces. 54 00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:05,820 Agh, he's not the only one, look at that. 55 00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:08,061 I thought the poor old love was a goner. 56 00:03:12,581 --> 00:03:14,021 Why don't you go down the pub? 57 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,260 [mumbles] 58 00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:17,501 That's my drinking hand. 59 00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:19,301 That's why you're only getting a tenner. 60 00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:26,941 [door slamming] 61 00:03:31,061 --> 00:03:34,380 Micky, my sister, Tonya, she'll be staying here for a while. 62 00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:38,901 -Didn't know you had a sister. -Same dad, different mum. Half-sister. 63 00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,181 Which half? 64 00:03:41,301 --> 00:03:43,501 Eh! You're not 16 yet... 65 00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:54,501 Okay, it isn't a massive problem, so whatever you do keep calm, okay? 66 00:03:58,181 --> 00:03:59,540 Your dad's in the Jockey. 67 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,581 [Kelly quietly] Shit. 68 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,260 You know his mistake, don't ya? 69 00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,100 Saying, "Keep calm". 70 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,021 [door slamming] 71 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,181 It's like saying to someone, "Don't worry," 72 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:12,621 cos the first thing you're going to do is worry, innit? 73 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:13,700 So, Jamie's the looker, 74 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,461 Shane's the thinker, 75 00:04:16,141 --> 00:04:17,821 that means you must be the gobshite. 76 00:04:23,421 --> 00:04:25,060 [rock music] 77 00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:26,541 All right, Homer. 78 00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:27,740 Frank. 79 00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:28,781 Pint of Jesus juice. 80 00:04:32,661 --> 00:04:34,701 Yeah, all right, rack us up a slate. 81 00:04:38,301 --> 00:04:39,661 Don't know when you got out... 82 00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:41,141 Yesterday, it was in the paper. 83 00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:46,421 [Kelly] But if you wanna stay out, keep your distance from me and her, 84 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,940 cos I'm just dying to see you back inside 85 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:52,620 and hearing you've been butt-fucked by every window-licker on the side wing. 86 00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:53,821 And I'm waiting for the day 87 00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,261 when I crack open the bubbly and tell our Tonya 88 00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:59,101 that our bastard of a father's shuffled off his mortal coil. 89 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,021 The kid's been through enough since her mam died 90 00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:05,101 without you turning up like a bad smell. 91 00:05:06,581 --> 00:05:09,221 So count this as a warning, Daddy dearest. 92 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,821 Your last. 93 00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:14,581 Or what? 94 00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:19,021 -[body thuds] -[Homer groans] 95 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,541 [Kelly groaning] 96 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,500 What the hell? 97 00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:22,821 Or that. 98 00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,781 [applause] 99 00:05:34,221 --> 00:05:37,740 Dad's been warned but you know what he's like, so if he comes near you... 100 00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:40,021 -Call the Dibble. -No police. Not in here. 101 00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:43,581 Tell me, Mimi, any of the lads, and we'll get him sorted. 102 00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:45,940 If he bothers you again, yeah, it's concrete boots, 103 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,581 quick ferry across the Mersey and bye-bye, Daddy. 104 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:50,740 Got family in the 'pool. Half Scouse. 105 00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:51,901 Which half? 106 00:05:52,861 --> 00:05:53,740 He fucked my mum round, 107 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,261 he fucked your mum round. You owe him nothing. 108 00:06:00,261 --> 00:06:01,221 [Kelly sighs] 109 00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:03,180 Where's Shane got to? 110 00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:05,021 Family business. 111 00:06:05,101 --> 00:06:06,261 [anticipatory music] 112 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,581 If he's not back in time, you're him, right? 113 00:06:18,221 --> 00:06:21,421 Leave the talking to me, sit there and do your best to look 15. 114 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,101 I am 15! -Lippy off. 115 00:06:23,981 --> 00:06:24,820 And less tit. 116 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,820 Don't worry, I'm not interested. 117 00:06:31,581 --> 00:06:33,740 In young girls, kids... 118 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,221 I mean, I like 'em. You know what I mean, I love 'em. 119 00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:37,820 Not in a paedo way. Just... 120 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:43,901 Now remember: calm, collected, 121 00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:46,060 leave the talking to me. 122 00:06:57,221 --> 00:06:59,180 You've passed the CRB check 123 00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:01,101 and the local authority are happy for Tonya 124 00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,820 to stay with you and Shane for now. 125 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,101 It's nice to see a family reunited. 126 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,701 Just a shame about the circumstance. 127 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,861 I just need to check on a few details. 128 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,581 Just you and Shane in residence? 129 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,740 Just two of us, but relatives drop in all the time, busy house. 130 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:20,141 But no overnight stays, Shane? 131 00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,740 They'd need CRB clearance to be allowed to stay overnight with a LAC. 132 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,341 Don't call me that. 133 00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:28,541 [sighs] Looked After Child. 134 00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:30,060 Sorry. 135 00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:31,940 We'll make sure no-one stays while she's here. 136 00:07:32,021 --> 00:07:34,461 With a little luck and a lot of help, 137 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,981 your dad should sort himself out 138 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,781 and you'll be back with him very soon. 139 00:07:37,861 --> 00:07:41,301 There was talk of Tonya getting her own place, once she reaches 16. 140 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:45,421 She'd need to get her son out of care to be guaranteed council accommodation. 141 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,221 I'm sure there's no need to remind you of the history of neglect. 142 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,461 Hardly neglect, 143 00:07:50,301 --> 00:07:52,701 her mum had died, her dad were in prison and she had no cash. 144 00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:54,101 The baby was malnourished. 145 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,380 So was she. She's 15. 146 00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:59,021 Which is why we've decided to give her a second chance. 147 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500 Programmed to respond as its real-life counterpart. 148 00:08:07,581 --> 00:08:09,180 [baby gurgling] 149 00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,341 I did tell Tonya last time we met. 150 00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,620 There's a memory chip that records everything. 151 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,661 So if she keeps the doll happy, she'll get her kid back? 152 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,221 It'll go in her favour. 153 00:08:19,301 --> 00:08:21,541 You can't compare a baby with a piece of plastic. 154 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:23,700 If she loses her rag on this, no harm done. 155 00:08:23,781 --> 00:08:27,101 If she does the same with Enrico, there's a court case and negligence 156 00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,620 allegations all round. 157 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,740 And we don't want that, do we? 158 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,501 I think Tonya's been through enough over the past few months. 159 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,661 -[everybody shouts] -Leave him! 160 00:08:46,181 --> 00:08:47,181 [gasps] 161 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,941 [indistinct voices] Eddie, come on, come on. 162 00:08:50,661 --> 00:08:52,340 [everybody cheers] 163 00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:56,381 -[cheers of encouragement] -[Shane] Go on, lad, one more! 164 00:08:58,021 --> 00:08:59,621 Another step, mate, go on. 165 00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,021 [all cheering] 166 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:05,301 Drinks on the house! 167 00:09:05,381 --> 00:09:06,421 What? 168 00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:09,340 [rock music starts playing] 169 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,261 Are you saying he grew new legs? 170 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,980 What do you think he is, a fuckin' newt? 171 00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:24,781 The trip to the shrine of St Boniface the Second in France. 172 00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,541 Remember the whip-round we had? 173 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:31,941 Boniface saw a vision of the Virgin Mary. 174 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,381 -[Frank scoffs] -Ten years in a wheelchair, 175 00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:39,621 got to the holy grotto, took four men to lower him into the waters 176 00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:41,781 and not one to get him out. 177 00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:44,261 Cos he walked. 178 00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,860 Walked, Libby. Walked. 179 00:09:46,941 --> 00:09:50,181 Yeah, and his wheelchair had a re-spray and new tyres. 180 00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:53,741 Mock all you like. God works in mysterious ways. 181 00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:56,460 Get yourself over there, Patty, and try it out. 182 00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:58,061 What do you make of that, Mum? 183 00:09:58,141 --> 00:10:01,980 When God first saw fit to confine me to this contraption, 184 00:10:02,061 --> 00:10:04,821 I prayed every day, every night, pleaded, begged, 185 00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:06,421 bargained for a way out. 186 00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:08,980 He wasn't listening. Home, Libby! 187 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:11,141 Well, we've only just got here. 188 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:14,421 There's online bingo. I want to go home now. 189 00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:20,301 Okay, I'll go home alone. 190 00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:23,741 If I'm mugged, raped, don't hold yourself responsible. 191 00:10:23,821 --> 00:10:24,901 I'm perfectly f... 192 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,061 [Mimi] Don't take it all to heart. 193 00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:29,021 She's got a lot to put up with, stuck in that thing all day. 194 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,181 Drive anyone round the bend. 195 00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:32,261 Yeah. 196 00:10:35,581 --> 00:10:36,701 [old man grunts] 197 00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:39,100 -Shit. -[woman] Oh, my God. 198 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,261 [girl] Get an ambulance. 199 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,061 Is he dead? 200 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,220 Oh, the irony. 201 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,340 Play this right and you'll be just down the road from me. 202 00:10:51,421 --> 00:10:55,021 I can help out with Enrico and make sure Dad keeps his distance. 203 00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:58,261 Just going to the loo. 204 00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,661 She's a good kid. 205 00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:04,141 She's like her mum. 206 00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:08,541 Have the fillings out your back teeth before you realise you got your gob open. 207 00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:09,901 [door shuts] 208 00:11:14,901 --> 00:11:16,901 Fuck! 209 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,501 -Look after that till she gets back. -I can't stay here all night. 210 00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:21,541 I've got a rugby team booked in half an hour, 211 00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:24,541 I can hardly drag junior along. Can I? 212 00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:28,460 There's 30 quid in it for you. I'll be back around midnight. Don't wait up, bye. 213 00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:30,301 [doll crying] 214 00:11:33,141 --> 00:11:34,301 Mimi? 215 00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:37,661 Jamie said to come straight up. 216 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,740 Course, come in, sit down. Drink? 217 00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:45,460 Vodka tonic? 218 00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,661 Going to be one of those talks, is it? 219 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,621 The pilgrimage you organised for Steady Eddie? The fundraiser? 220 00:11:53,701 --> 00:11:55,421 What about it? 221 00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:57,860 If it isn't too much trouble... 222 00:11:57,941 --> 00:12:02,220 I mean, if it is, just let me know, if I'm overstepping the mark. 223 00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:15,621 I've always believed that God had a big black book and we each had a page, 224 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:19,980 our whole lives mapped out for us before we were even born. 225 00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:23,460 Never had you marked down as a fatalist. 226 00:12:23,541 --> 00:12:27,661 I was taught to accept whatever life threw at you and just get on with it. 227 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:31,661 Seeing Eddie walk got me thinking. 228 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:35,620 Maybe miracles don't just happen to other people. 229 00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:37,181 Maybe we're due one? 230 00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:38,340 [blowing] 231 00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:40,901 I know it's a long shot, 232 00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,701 but if there's even the remotest possibility that it could work, 233 00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:47,100 then I owe it to Mum to try. 234 00:12:47,181 --> 00:12:52,100 You owe it to yourself. Looking after her 24/7 can't be too easy. 235 00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:54,581 So you wanna take her to France? 236 00:12:54,661 --> 00:12:59,340 We haven't two pennies to rub together, so we'd need to do a fundraiser and... 237 00:12:59,421 --> 00:13:03,100 I just wouldn't even know where to begin. 238 00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:05,061 [sighs] So I was wondering... 239 00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:08,701 Would you consider helping me? 240 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,941 -I'd be honoured. -[sighs in relief] 241 00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:18,620 Feck off. I hate the Frogs more than I hate the feckin' l-talians. 242 00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:21,021 -Mum! -She doesn't want to go. 243 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,941 She's hardly one of God's chosen, is she? 244 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:24,781 If she'd lived a few hundred years ago, 245 00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,141 she'd been permanently strapped to a fucking ducking stool. 246 00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:30,781 -It could work. -Bollocks. 247 00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,301 For once, I agree. 248 00:13:32,381 --> 00:13:33,740 [Libby] Do it for me. 249 00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:36,581 If ever I've meant more to you than just being a skivvy, 250 00:13:36,661 --> 00:13:39,541 someone to feed and clothe you, to wipe your... 251 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,541 Eating! 252 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:44,581 Libby, God's not going to look favourably on the likes of me. 253 00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:49,261 I was excommunicated the second I fell in love with your father. 254 00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:52,261 He'll think of me as nothing more than a sinner. 255 00:13:53,381 --> 00:13:54,821 Well, I don't know, 256 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,460 Steady Eddie was done time and again for exposing himself. 257 00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:59,901 Used to flash at the nuns up at St Morrissey's. 258 00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:02,181 God had him back up on his feet in no time. 259 00:14:02,261 --> 00:14:04,100 And smited him with a coronary 260 00:14:04,181 --> 00:14:06,740 that would have stopped an elephant in its tracks. 261 00:14:06,821 --> 00:14:09,620 [Libby] Okay, let's put the faith issue to one side 262 00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:12,141 and look at this as a break. 263 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:15,460 Two days in the glorious French countryside. 264 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:19,261 Great hotel, waited on hand and foot. 265 00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:21,061 I never said I was a total 266 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,021 non-believer. 267 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,421 Once a Catholic... 268 00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:30,821 -[doll crying] -[Ian] Micky, 269 00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:32,100 it's four o'clock in the morning! 270 00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,301 What the fuck are you doin'? 271 00:14:34,381 --> 00:14:36,100 Doing a favour for Kelly. 272 00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:37,661 Well, Tonya really, but... 273 00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,381 -Have you run through the checklist? -What? 274 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,901 We've got these at the hospital. 275 00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,821 -Have you fed it? -Fed, watered and bathed. 276 00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:46,980 Put it in the back of the car. 277 00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:48,500 The engine'll knock it out. 278 00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:51,220 Katie used to love that when she were little. 279 00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:54,100 That's the theory. Let us know how it goes. 280 00:14:54,181 --> 00:14:55,620 [Ian] For fuck's sake, Micky. 281 00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:06,460 Kel... 282 00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,261 Micky. 283 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,860 [doll crying] 284 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,581 You've woke him up now, I only got him off half an hour ago. 285 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,661 I can't take him, I'm going to school. 286 00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,860 I don't give a fuck. 287 00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:36,061 I'll get the piss ripped out of me if I turn up with that thing. 288 00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:37,460 Please, Kel. 289 00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,661 [Micky] I didn't sign up for this. 290 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,781 You said you'd pick him up by midnight. 291 00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,821 Get to school, I'll sort it. 292 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,220 [doll still crying] 293 00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,340 I know it's a pain in the arse, 294 00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:51,141 but you know how important this is. 295 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:54,061 Can't you take it into work, get one of the girls to look after it? 296 00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:57,021 Tonya doesn't know how I earn a wage and I'd like to keep it that way. 297 00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,980 [sighs] Twenty quid a day. 298 00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:02,261 Thirty and a 50 bonus if baby's memory card 299 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,620 reads like a dream at the end of the week. Please. 300 00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:07,061 She's a... pain in the arse. 301 00:16:07,141 --> 00:16:09,181 I know, but she's me sister. 302 00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:12,261 She's family, Micky. I owe her. 303 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,100 And I'll owe you. Big time. 304 00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:18,141 You're just using your feminine wiles to tug on my heart strings. 305 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:19,980 Is it working? 306 00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:21,220 [baby keeps crying] 307 00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:23,980 [whispers] You... 308 00:16:24,061 --> 00:16:25,021 [whines] 309 00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:34,061 I'm sorry, okay? I'm just tired. 310 00:16:37,301 --> 00:16:39,021 [woman laughing] 311 00:16:40,061 --> 00:16:41,901 [doll crying] 312 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,500 Will you lot keep it down? 313 00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:46,261 No wonder he won't settle! 314 00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:53,141 Little tip for ya. 315 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,980 When my Rodney was about his age and wouldn't sleep, 316 00:16:56,061 --> 00:16:58,301 I used to hold a small pillow over his face. 317 00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,781 Just till he nodded off, like. 318 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,301 [everyone stops talking] 319 00:17:05,581 --> 00:17:07,781 What, like I'm the only one? 320 00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:17,940 [doll burping] 321 00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:20,221 [doll giggles] 322 00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:21,301 I get more out of him 323 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,380 than I ever thought possible. Grown quite attached. 324 00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,420 Don't tell madam that. We'll never see her again. 325 00:17:26,981 --> 00:17:28,261 You'd be a nice dad. 326 00:17:29,101 --> 00:17:30,141 Trustworthy. 327 00:17:30,821 --> 00:17:32,101 What about you? 328 00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,261 You were thinking about adopting a while back. 329 00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:36,701 Don't think I'd make a very good parent, somehow. 330 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,781 Never had much by the way of example. 331 00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,581 [door opens] 332 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,781 What time do you call this? 333 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,660 Went for a coffee, got gabbing. Sorry. 334 00:17:43,741 --> 00:17:46,301 The social get wind of you treating this place like an hotel 335 00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:48,461 and you'll be back in care before you know it. 336 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,541 [Micky] Your tea's burnt. 337 00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:55,940 I been calling you but it goes straight to voicemail. 338 00:17:56,021 --> 00:17:57,701 It's like you're not interested. 339 00:17:57,781 --> 00:17:59,141 I can cope with it 340 00:17:59,221 --> 00:18:00,981 but what he's going to make of it, God only knows. 341 00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:02,221 Micky, he's not real. 342 00:18:04,461 --> 00:18:05,781 It's what he represents. 343 00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:08,781 Enrico's in care for a reason. 344 00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:13,021 -They don't think you can look after him. -What if they're right? 345 00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:20,381 Come on, don't be too hard on yourself. 346 00:18:21,341 --> 00:18:24,180 Your mum'd not long died, you was on your own. 347 00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:27,861 I'm not now, am I? 348 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,221 It's time I got me act together. Concentrated on getting my son back. 349 00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:37,621 I was going to go out. This bloke I've just hooked up with. 350 00:18:38,381 --> 00:18:39,981 Ah, he's gorgeous, Micky. 351 00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:41,581 Like something out of a boy-band. 352 00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,660 Yeah? Which one? 353 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:44,821 -[giggles] -Hey? 354 00:18:46,781 --> 00:18:49,180 I'll send him a text, tell him it's over. 355 00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,821 The least you can do is tell him to his face. 356 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,781 I'll cover for you. 357 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,261 -Really? -Go on. 358 00:18:59,101 --> 00:19:01,741 -Do you want me to take Kanye? -He's due a feed in an hour. 359 00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:06,541 [doll giggling] 360 00:19:06,621 --> 00:19:09,781 Ladies and gents, the star attraction's arrived. 361 00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:13,381 [all cheering and clapping] 362 00:19:13,461 --> 00:19:15,541 We've got 500 quid to raise. 363 00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,541 So we'd better get started with our slave for a day auction. 364 00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:19,781 Looking very smart, Carl. 365 00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:21,341 Off into town after this. 366 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,660 -On the pull? -Might get lucky. 367 00:19:23,741 --> 00:19:25,501 If you don't and you come by my place 368 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,021 and the light's on, give us a knock. 369 00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:30,501 You are familiar with the term MILF, Carl? 370 00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,261 Seveny-five Punds. 371 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,581 Eighty-five. 372 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,700 Any advance on 85? 373 00:19:41,621 --> 00:19:43,621 Ninety-five. 374 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,420 [everybody shouting] 375 00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,660 Once? Twice? 376 00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:48,821 Sold! 377 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,141 Five 50! 378 00:19:55,221 --> 00:19:56,341 Come on, ladies. 379 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:59,221 Libby's assured me he's got a crackin' bedside manner. 380 00:20:00,621 --> 00:20:03,501 Five 75? 5.60? 381 00:20:05,981 --> 00:20:07,420 On its own, number one. 382 00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:08,940 [Carl] House! House! 383 00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,420 House! 384 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,061 [everybody clapping] 385 00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:27,700 Once at 30. Any advance on 30? 386 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,981 Get your fucking shirt off. 387 00:20:31,821 --> 00:20:33,781 Thirty-five! 388 00:20:35,741 --> 00:20:36,900 Forty! 389 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:44,301 Forty-five! Once. Twice... 390 00:20:44,381 --> 00:20:45,461 Sold. 391 00:20:45,541 --> 00:20:46,741 [inaudible] 392 00:20:46,821 --> 00:20:49,021 [everybody cheering and clapping] 393 00:20:54,381 --> 00:20:56,461 Fill your boots. 394 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,501 [Frank] Hey. 395 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,581 [Frank exhales] 396 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,700 I've wanted this for years. 397 00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:10,821 The chance for Mum to be okay. 398 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,261 What will I do, Frank? 399 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:14,660 This is all I've ever known. 400 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,621 If it works, it's down to me 401 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,021 and I don't know what to do or how to do it. 402 00:21:19,101 --> 00:21:20,940 Yeah, just cos you want something, 403 00:21:21,021 --> 00:21:23,381 doesn't mean to say that you're going to get it. 404 00:21:23,461 --> 00:21:25,581 I've been hankering for a threesome 405 00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,821 with Jordan and Katie Price for donkey's years, 406 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:29,301 can't see that happening. 407 00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:31,061 She's made every decision for me, 408 00:21:31,141 --> 00:21:33,861 decided every move I've ever made and-- 409 00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:36,541 It was you who decided to take her to France. 410 00:21:36,621 --> 00:21:39,700 And if him upstairs actually grants us a fucking miracle 411 00:21:39,781 --> 00:21:41,581 and she comes back under her own steam, 412 00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:45,900 I want you doing cartwheels up that road because you'll be free! 413 00:21:47,141 --> 00:21:48,381 Eh? Free! 414 00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:53,261 [coins jangle] 415 00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:01,660 We've reached the target! 416 00:22:01,741 --> 00:22:03,381 [all cheering] 417 00:22:14,301 --> 00:22:15,460 [knock on door] 418 00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:17,660 [knock on door] 419 00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:21,261 [Mickey grunts] 420 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:25,981 -Shane? -Patrick. 421 00:22:26,061 --> 00:22:27,700 Shane. 422 00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:29,341 -Micky. -Shane. 423 00:22:30,301 --> 00:22:31,460 -Micky? -Julie. 424 00:22:31,541 --> 00:22:33,221 Kelly. 425 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,021 Shit. 426 00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:40,981 Ton. 427 00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:47,501 Fuck! 428 00:22:51,301 --> 00:22:54,981 Please don't punish Tonya for my mistake. She's got no-one. 429 00:22:55,061 --> 00:22:57,460 She's got me. I thought she had you. 430 00:22:57,541 --> 00:23:01,381 Julie, I know you've got a job to do, and I think you do it brilliantly. 431 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:05,341 But you must know that sometimes things don't go to plan and... 432 00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:09,141 Can't you just turn a blind eye? This once? 433 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:13,061 The only person who really suffers, the only one being punished is Tonya. 434 00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:14,621 [Shane] I'll help out, as well you know. 435 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:18,420 Between the both of us we'll make sure she's safe, never on her own. 436 00:23:18,501 --> 00:23:21,381 Come on. Everybody deserves a break. 437 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:23,141 Just one. 438 00:23:23,221 --> 00:23:25,061 [Kelly] Please. 439 00:23:29,301 --> 00:23:30,660 Just one. 440 00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:33,940 If you fuck this up, she's back in care. Have you got that? 441 00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:36,541 If my bosses found out about your father-in-law... 442 00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:40,981 Is the flat still a possibility? 443 00:23:42,381 --> 00:23:45,301 As long as that memory card reads like we need it to. 444 00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:51,341 [sighs in relief] 445 00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:53,821 -Wagons roll. -It's okay. 446 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,741 [Frank] See you later, El Presidente. 447 00:23:58,141 --> 00:24:00,261 Here you go. Don't come back with frogs' legs. 448 00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:02,021 Yeah. Alright. 449 00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:05,381 Hey, get as much baccy as you can, it's dirt cheap in France. 450 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:08,021 -Ram a few packs down your knickers-- -I'm not going. 451 00:24:09,821 --> 00:24:10,940 What? 452 00:24:12,541 --> 00:24:15,021 You said I should start living, 453 00:24:15,101 --> 00:24:18,981 and I want to start living so bad, Frank, so bad! 454 00:24:19,061 --> 00:24:20,460 What if I get there and it fails? 455 00:24:20,541 --> 00:24:24,021 What if God takes one look at her and say, "No, not you. Not today." 456 00:24:24,101 --> 00:24:25,940 [Patty] Libby! 457 00:24:26,021 --> 00:24:28,460 I couldn't stand it. Couldn't. 458 00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:34,460 [sighs] Well, I want the old witch out of here just as much as you do, 459 00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:37,660 but there's no way she's going to get there on her own, is there? 460 00:24:37,741 --> 00:24:39,061 Which is why you're taking her. 461 00:24:40,301 --> 00:24:41,660 [chuckles] Oh, no! 462 00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:44,660 No, no, she's your mum, not mine. 463 00:24:44,741 --> 00:24:47,861 You can cope better if it succeeds or fails. 464 00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:49,861 You don't give a shit either way. 465 00:24:51,581 --> 00:24:53,460 -Your bag's packed. -[sighs] 466 00:24:53,541 --> 00:24:56,741 Look because of the effect she has on you, on us, 467 00:24:56,821 --> 00:25:00,021 I want a miracle too, but I want it for you. 468 00:25:00,101 --> 00:25:01,301 Then go. 469 00:25:01,381 --> 00:25:03,940 Because if you don't, I'm out of here. 470 00:25:05,061 --> 00:25:07,021 [dramatic music] 471 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:12,541 This is madness and you know it. 472 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,141 Oh, I disagree. 473 00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:20,781 I'd also like to prefix that by saying, I do not believe in God. 474 00:25:20,861 --> 00:25:22,460 I am secular. 475 00:25:22,541 --> 00:25:24,541 Latin, meaning "of the age". 476 00:25:24,621 --> 00:25:26,460 Are you truly of the age, Frank? 477 00:25:26,541 --> 00:25:30,141 Or could you just not be arsed aligning yourself to something requiring an effort? 478 00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:31,460 [inaudible] 479 00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:38,821 [Tonya] I'll see you tonight. 480 00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:41,861 "Early night" she says. "Finished with me fella," she says. 481 00:25:48,301 --> 00:25:49,900 The social worker's been. 482 00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:52,381 I can't believe you've been so stupid. 483 00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,621 [Tonya] Stupid? 484 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,381 I were that fucking stupid I didn't even know I was having a baby. 485 00:25:56,981 --> 00:25:59,621 I went into hospital thinking I had appendicitis. 486 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:00,981 Can you believe that? 487 00:26:02,141 --> 00:26:03,700 The nurses laughed at me. 488 00:26:04,621 --> 00:26:05,741 Laughed. 489 00:26:08,541 --> 00:26:09,501 [sobbing] 490 00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:11,981 I want my son, 491 00:26:13,460 --> 00:26:14,581 and I don't. 492 00:26:15,261 --> 00:26:16,420 I miss him, 493 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:19,981 and I can't stand to have him anywhere near me. 494 00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,420 I love him... 495 00:26:25,741 --> 00:26:26,821 and I hate him. 496 00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:30,861 Maybe the best thing would be to let him go. 497 00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:35,821 I don't know. 498 00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:38,341 What do I do? 499 00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:41,660 Tonya, I'm not that bright myself. 500 00:26:43,541 --> 00:26:45,061 You just need some help. 501 00:26:45,141 --> 00:26:46,341 [sobbing] 502 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,341 Listen, what about the dad? 503 00:26:49,420 --> 00:26:51,700 My dad? He's not allowed anywhere near me. 504 00:26:51,781 --> 00:26:53,420 No, not your dad, the baby's dad. 505 00:26:58,021 --> 00:26:59,541 [dramatic music] 506 00:27:02,381 --> 00:27:05,261 [Tonya sobbing] Don't tell anyone, please. 507 00:27:05,341 --> 00:27:06,781 Don't tell Kelly. 508 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:08,861 Please, Micky... 509 00:27:09,501 --> 00:27:11,141 for the baby's sake. 510 00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:12,981 For Enrico, please. 511 00:27:14,861 --> 00:27:16,301 Okay, I won't. 512 00:27:19,621 --> 00:27:21,021 [further steps] 513 00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:23,861 [door slamming] 514 00:27:26,741 --> 00:27:27,781 [key jangles] 515 00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:30,581 I'm sorry. 516 00:27:31,621 --> 00:27:33,061 So you should be, you daft sod. 517 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,021 I'll go and get packing. 518 00:27:36,101 --> 00:27:37,821 You've had a reprieve. 519 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:39,261 Julie's turned a blind eye. 520 00:27:39,861 --> 00:27:43,220 You'll be staying here and as soon as you hit sixteen, the flat's yours. 521 00:27:45,101 --> 00:27:46,301 What about Enrico? 522 00:27:46,381 --> 00:27:49,381 The way Micky's looking after Kanye, you'll have him back soon. 523 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,581 [both laugh] 524 00:27:56,420 --> 00:27:59,900 Go and get showered. You stink of fags and booze. Go on. 525 00:28:03,021 --> 00:28:04,460 [banging on door] 526 00:28:11,021 --> 00:28:12,501 Kelly. 527 00:28:12,581 --> 00:28:14,261 [police siren] 528 00:28:15,541 --> 00:28:16,781 So where is she then? 529 00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:19,420 I told you to keep your distance. I told you not to come anyway. 530 00:28:19,501 --> 00:28:21,821 I'm getting a bit sick of being told what to do. 531 00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,220 Now you're gonna listen. 532 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:25,900 I'm here to stay, and I want to see my little girl. 533 00:28:25,981 --> 00:28:28,220 She's the only family I've got apart from you 534 00:28:28,301 --> 00:28:29,940 and we all know what you are, don't we? 535 00:28:30,021 --> 00:28:31,141 They're moving her! 536 00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:33,141 [Homer] I'll find her. 537 00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:35,180 Just like I found her when she was with you, 538 00:28:35,261 --> 00:28:36,741 like I found her mum when she left, 539 00:28:36,821 --> 00:28:38,141 just like I found your mam. 540 00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:39,900 If you fucking hurt her! 541 00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:41,180 [Kelly groaning] 542 00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:42,541 What are you gonna do? 543 00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:43,581 I'll tell 'em! 544 00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:44,700 You what? 545 00:28:44,781 --> 00:28:46,301 [yelling] I'll tell 'em! 546 00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:49,621 You tell them and I'll tell them it was down to you. 547 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:52,741 Me, pissed, you climbing into bed. 548 00:28:52,821 --> 00:28:54,980 I didn't know who you were until it was too late. 549 00:28:55,741 --> 00:28:56,900 Everyone knows what you are 550 00:28:59,301 --> 00:29:00,501 and what you do. 551 00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:06,541 Who do you reckon they'll believe? 552 00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:13,821 [Kelly breathing heavily] 553 00:29:21,581 --> 00:29:24,940 ♪ Maybe I didn't treat you ♪ 554 00:29:28,581 --> 00:29:31,741 ♪ Quite as good as I should have... ♪ 555 00:29:35,621 --> 00:29:37,541 The skirtings could do with another once over. 556 00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:39,501 Lillian, I've done them three times! 557 00:29:39,581 --> 00:29:42,861 Mistress. Remember, I own you, slave. 558 00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:44,940 It was a charity auction. I'll give you the cash back-- 559 00:29:45,021 --> 00:29:46,101 [Lillian] Trixie! 560 00:29:48,261 --> 00:29:49,900 Have you got any jobs for Carl? 561 00:29:50,861 --> 00:29:52,141 Oh, have I! 562 00:29:53,940 --> 00:29:55,460 Skirtings, yeah? 563 00:30:06,381 --> 00:30:07,621 [church bells ringing] 564 00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:11,061 I was told I'd be staying in a hotel. 565 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,781 Tell me there's been some terrible mistake they've dropped us off at the wrong place. 566 00:30:16,501 --> 00:30:18,420 Ah, excuse moi... 567 00:30:19,141 --> 00:30:20,101 Bonjour... 568 00:30:23,781 --> 00:30:26,180 [nuns speaking in French] 569 00:30:28,781 --> 00:30:30,101 Shit! 570 00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:33,261 There must be another room! 571 00:30:33,341 --> 00:30:35,741 It's packed to the rafters with the faithful and deluded. 572 00:30:37,861 --> 00:30:41,180 We're sharing because they were expecting Libby, not me. 573 00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:44,381 I only came here because I thought I was staying somewhere decent. 574 00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:48,061 I'd imagined I'd be neck-deep in a Jacuzzi by now! 575 00:30:48,141 --> 00:30:50,341 Remind me again why we're here? 576 00:30:50,420 --> 00:30:51,581 For your daughter. 577 00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:58,261 Look, you know and I know there's about as much chance of you walking 578 00:30:58,341 --> 00:31:00,940 as there is me passing a liver function test. 579 00:31:01,021 --> 00:31:02,781 Oh, come on. 580 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,821 [snorts] Here, hold this. 581 00:31:11,381 --> 00:31:13,940 -It's good for my cataracts. -You haven't got cataracts! 582 00:31:14,021 --> 00:31:15,581 I rest my case. 583 00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:26,021 [exhales] 584 00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:29,940 Fancy a drink? 585 00:31:50,301 --> 00:31:51,141 [Frank] Oh! 586 00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,021 Praise the Lord! 587 00:31:57,501 --> 00:31:59,821 -[nun] Bonjour. -[Patty] Bonjour. 588 00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,460 [nun] Est-ce que je peux vous aider? 589 00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:11,021 Sister Patrick. Father Francis. 590 00:32:12,141 --> 00:32:15,301 He's deaf. Mute. Here for the cure. 591 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,781 We're just out for a breath of air. 592 00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:22,541 S'il vous plait. 593 00:32:23,501 --> 00:32:24,460 Not at all. 594 00:32:27,381 --> 00:32:28,821 I will pray for you. 595 00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:29,781 Mh... 596 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,581 [Patty] We need all the help we can get. 597 00:32:33,541 --> 00:32:34,700 Thank you. 598 00:32:37,261 --> 00:32:38,460 [whispering] Fucking hell! 599 00:32:45,021 --> 00:32:46,141 [Franks grunts] 600 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:49,061 [door slamming] 601 00:32:55,101 --> 00:32:56,381 [footsteps getting closer] 602 00:33:05,581 --> 00:33:07,261 Tonya's out with her mates. 603 00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:10,541 Been calling your mobile. 604 00:33:13,021 --> 00:33:14,381 I'm out of credit. 605 00:33:16,740 --> 00:33:18,141 She told me about the Soce. 606 00:33:21,061 --> 00:33:24,341 About her staying with us... till she hits sixteen. 607 00:33:26,261 --> 00:33:27,700 Gets her own flat. 608 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:31,940 That's on account of the good job you've done with Kanye. 609 00:33:39,021 --> 00:33:40,021 You think it's a good idea? 610 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,101 I mean... 611 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,621 her looking after a kid? 612 00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:50,621 She's still a kid herself. 613 00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:56,220 Maybe... 614 00:33:58,021 --> 00:34:02,541 best thing would be for Enrico to stay in care 615 00:34:02,621 --> 00:34:05,261 until she feels ready to look after him. 616 00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:09,340 Maybe the best thing would be for her... 617 00:34:12,941 --> 00:34:14,860 maybe if she let him get adopted. 618 00:34:15,941 --> 00:34:17,260 Give him a chance. 619 00:34:31,101 --> 00:34:32,660 She said your dad... 620 00:34:36,581 --> 00:34:38,180 [panting lightly] wasn't... 621 00:34:41,021 --> 00:34:42,381 proper with her. 622 00:34:50,501 --> 00:34:51,860 Was he proper with you? 623 00:35:03,461 --> 00:35:05,541 Social are picking him up in an hour. 624 00:35:14,820 --> 00:35:16,780 [water running] 625 00:35:33,661 --> 00:35:34,941 [splash] 626 00:35:36,541 --> 00:35:38,461 [bubbling] 627 00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,300 [dramatic music] 628 00:36:02,501 --> 00:36:03,860 [sobbing] 629 00:36:14,261 --> 00:36:17,141 -Hey, you missed a good night last night. -Cracking laugh. 630 00:36:17,221 --> 00:36:20,141 -[Micky] Vodka, straight. -On the hard stuff? 631 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,621 [paper rustling] 632 00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:28,461 -Look, I can take an early tea break-- -I'm fine, ta. 633 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:42,221 Top half in there. 634 00:36:45,381 --> 00:36:49,061 [whispering] Drink it quick. Then leave. 635 00:36:49,141 --> 00:36:50,421 [scoffs] 636 00:36:52,661 --> 00:36:55,661 In fact, just get out. 637 00:36:55,741 --> 00:36:57,421 Is this a joke? 638 00:36:59,661 --> 00:37:03,061 I know what you did to your daughters. 639 00:37:03,141 --> 00:37:05,380 I know what you are. 640 00:37:05,461 --> 00:37:07,300 Fuck you. 641 00:37:16,621 --> 00:37:19,141 Oh, Liam. Maybe we should wait. 642 00:37:19,741 --> 00:37:22,221 Until your mum comes back doing the Can-Can? 643 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:23,621 Oh, ye of little faith. 644 00:37:23,701 --> 00:37:25,061 [Libby] I'm being cautious. 645 00:37:25,941 --> 00:37:29,141 There are many reasons why him upstairs might not give us what we want. 646 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,701 The most probable is that there's no him upstairs. 647 00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,261 There's not even an upstairs. 648 00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:36,741 How do you get to be so cynical at your age? 649 00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:38,661 How do you get to be so gullible at yours? 650 00:37:38,741 --> 00:37:40,981 It's not gullibility, it's desperation. 651 00:37:41,061 --> 00:37:44,101 I know you understand a lot of things at your age that you shouldn't. 652 00:37:44,181 --> 00:37:47,621 -But I hope that's not one of them. -Another thing to look forward to. 653 00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:50,780 [Libby] If this doesn't work, he'll think I'm an idiot. 654 00:37:52,541 --> 00:37:54,661 You're many things, but you're not an idiot. 655 00:37:54,741 --> 00:37:55,581 Now grab the big 'un. 656 00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:03,621 [Frank] You know Libby expects a miracle, don't you? 657 00:38:05,661 --> 00:38:08,621 [Patty] She won't get one. Stupid girl. 658 00:38:08,701 --> 00:38:09,901 Quite. 659 00:38:11,021 --> 00:38:14,501 Don't know why she thinks as much of you as she does, y'know. 660 00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:17,780 I'm her mother. 661 00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,901 Kids are programmed. 662 00:38:20,780 --> 00:38:22,421 Didn't you love yours? 663 00:38:23,501 --> 00:38:24,981 Can't hardly remember her. 664 00:38:26,701 --> 00:38:28,421 Remember loving her. 665 00:38:28,501 --> 00:38:29,981 I suppose I still do. 666 00:38:31,380 --> 00:38:32,701 When did you lose her? 667 00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:33,820 I was 12. 668 00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:34,941 Oh. 669 00:38:35,621 --> 00:38:37,741 [Frank] The head master called me to his office. 670 00:38:38,421 --> 00:38:39,860 Dad was there. 671 00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:42,421 He says... 672 00:38:42,501 --> 00:38:43,860 "Your mum's died." 673 00:38:44,541 --> 00:38:46,780 -Just like that. -[Patty] She missed out... 674 00:38:47,701 --> 00:38:49,340 on all those special years. 675 00:38:49,421 --> 00:38:51,101 Well, they weren't that special. 676 00:38:52,461 --> 00:38:54,581 She didn't stick around and see me... 677 00:38:58,181 --> 00:38:59,661 ...slip. 678 00:39:00,501 --> 00:39:03,101 Well, not so much of a slip, more of a fucking... 679 00:39:03,780 --> 00:39:07,581 Cresta Run, downhill slalom, call it what you fucking will. 680 00:39:08,661 --> 00:39:11,780 Maybe if she'd been there it wouldn't have happened. 681 00:39:15,621 --> 00:39:20,181 [church bells ringing] 682 00:39:20,261 --> 00:39:23,820 Fucking... Calling the faithful to their knees. 683 00:39:23,901 --> 00:39:24,780 Hmph. 684 00:39:27,261 --> 00:39:28,581 Fancy joining them? 685 00:39:48,421 --> 00:39:49,701 [tense music] 686 00:39:50,541 --> 00:39:52,701 A pressie from your daughters. 687 00:40:00,741 --> 00:40:02,300 [piss splashing] 688 00:40:04,061 --> 00:40:05,061 Shit! 689 00:40:09,661 --> 00:40:12,780 Shane? Get to the Jockey toilets quick, I need a hand! 690 00:40:13,981 --> 00:40:16,661 [choir singing] 691 00:40:16,741 --> 00:40:18,021 Merci. 692 00:40:19,741 --> 00:40:21,340 [people talking in French] 693 00:40:22,661 --> 00:40:25,340 What I wouldn't give for that kind of faith. 694 00:40:25,421 --> 00:40:26,300 Hmph! 695 00:40:27,061 --> 00:40:30,820 [Frank] No, there's... there's something happening here, Patty. 696 00:40:30,901 --> 00:40:32,021 No denying it. 697 00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:35,941 It's mass hysteria without the hysterics. 698 00:40:36,701 --> 00:40:38,461 The desperate will try anything. 699 00:40:39,221 --> 00:40:42,860 Praying to a God that doesn't exist being top of the list. 700 00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,021 What's happened here, then? 701 00:40:45,340 --> 00:40:48,541 See, that is not the same guy who was just lowered 702 00:40:48,621 --> 00:40:49,981 into that water just now. 703 00:40:50,061 --> 00:40:52,661 There's... you know, a change in him. 704 00:40:52,741 --> 00:40:53,981 You can see it. 705 00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:57,941 [Patty] He feels better because he's been told he will. 706 00:40:58,021 --> 00:41:00,901 Because he wants to. It's a placebo. 707 00:41:02,741 --> 00:41:05,101 [all praying in French] 708 00:41:06,541 --> 00:41:07,901 Your turn soon. 709 00:41:08,741 --> 00:41:10,221 [laughing] If you actually think 710 00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:12,981 I'm going to participate in this pantomime... 711 00:41:16,181 --> 00:41:17,061 C'mon... 712 00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:28,701 [woman exclaims in French] 713 00:41:32,141 --> 00:41:34,701 [majestic choral music plays] 714 00:42:08,181 --> 00:42:10,221 [music stops suddenly] 715 00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,101 [all cry out in French] 716 00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:14,860 God! Jesus! 717 00:42:14,941 --> 00:42:16,141 II peut marcher! 718 00:42:17,101 --> 00:42:19,941 Oh, Seigneur! C'est un miracle! 719 00:42:20,021 --> 00:42:21,101 What? 720 00:42:21,181 --> 00:42:24,581 Oh, get off me, you stupid French... 721 00:42:25,780 --> 00:42:27,501 Remember Agincourt? 722 00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,701 Hey? Fucking Waterloo? 723 00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:31,780 Waterloo! 724 00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,221 [water dripping] 725 00:42:41,221 --> 00:42:43,661 [Homer moans and struggles] 726 00:42:45,061 --> 00:42:46,741 Give me a ring when you're done. 727 00:42:48,701 --> 00:42:50,741 Been wondering what to do with you, Homer. 728 00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:53,541 My initial reaction was to kill you straight away. 729 00:42:53,621 --> 00:42:54,901 Too quick. 730 00:42:57,581 --> 00:42:59,820 -So I came up with this. -[muffled shouts] 731 00:43:05,141 --> 00:43:07,941 -[drill whirring] -[muffled shouts] 732 00:43:13,101 --> 00:43:14,501 [Kelly] I'll get these. 733 00:43:14,581 --> 00:43:17,101 Er... 140 as agreed. 734 00:43:18,141 --> 00:43:19,701 We had a deal. 735 00:43:20,541 --> 00:43:21,501 You're family. 736 00:43:22,941 --> 00:43:23,941 Thanks, bro. 737 00:43:24,701 --> 00:43:26,621 Vodka tonic. Double, please. 738 00:43:27,941 --> 00:43:29,221 Make it two. 739 00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:33,101 Are you okay now? 740 00:43:33,181 --> 00:43:34,181 Cheers, mate. 741 00:43:34,780 --> 00:43:35,661 Good. 742 00:43:37,141 --> 00:43:40,421 Micky, any idea where your dad and brothers have got to? 743 00:43:40,501 --> 00:43:43,860 They had a bit of, er, business to sort in Liverpool. Last minute stuff. 744 00:43:43,941 --> 00:43:45,221 [Mimi] They've been gone hours. 745 00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:48,221 Shane said they might take a quick ferry across the Mersey. 746 00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:50,501 [Mimi] They loved doing that when they were kids. 747 00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:05,181 [engine revs] 748 00:44:10,181 --> 00:44:12,820 -It didn't work. -Did you really expect it to? 749 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,101 Hoped it might. 750 00:44:15,181 --> 00:44:17,541 -Welcome back, Mum. -Miss me? 751 00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:21,461 -Course. -You've never been a good liar, Libby. 752 00:44:21,541 --> 00:44:24,900 Never been that good at anything, really, have you? 753 00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:28,141 I hope you've something decent in for tea. The French eat anything. 754 00:44:28,221 --> 00:44:31,141 Frogs, snails, cheese with maggots in, would you believe! 755 00:44:31,221 --> 00:44:32,661 [man] Hello? 756 00:44:32,741 --> 00:44:35,300 Yeah, landed about 10 minutes ago. 757 00:44:35,380 --> 00:44:37,741 -[gasps] -[man] Yeah. 758 00:44:37,820 --> 00:44:39,061 Fuck's she doing now? 759 00:44:42,181 --> 00:44:44,981 [classical music plays] 760 00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,101 -[Libby] Mum? -[Frank] Oh, come on! 761 00:45:00,181 --> 00:45:02,860 I thought I saw someone I knew. 762 00:45:02,941 --> 00:45:05,541 Well, home. Now. 763 00:45:05,621 --> 00:45:07,701 [Frank] Put her in the back. 764 00:45:07,780 --> 00:45:11,421 [Patty] We all desire things we can never have. 765 00:45:11,501 --> 00:45:12,380 Thank you. 766 00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:14,900 Have goals we can never achieve. 767 00:45:14,981 --> 00:45:18,860 Winning the lottery, flying to the moon, 768 00:45:18,941 --> 00:45:22,021 bedding the best looking girl or boy in town. 769 00:45:22,101 --> 00:45:24,300 -[Mimi] There you go. -Mimi. Thank you. 770 00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:27,541 But I'd never even tried to make my dreams reality. 771 00:45:27,621 --> 00:45:30,061 Couldn't bear the thought of failing. 772 00:45:30,141 --> 00:45:31,461 It was worth a try. 773 00:45:34,061 --> 00:45:37,941 Couldn't bear to be reminded of just how ordinary I am. 774 00:45:39,981 --> 00:45:42,141 [Lilian] Oh, if I were 10 years younger! 775 00:45:42,221 --> 00:45:46,820 Give me fantasy over reality any day. 776 00:45:48,581 --> 00:45:49,941 [sighs] 777 00:45:50,021 --> 00:45:52,501 This wedding certificate. It's fake. 778 00:45:52,581 --> 00:45:54,461 And the kids! They're all bastards! 779 00:45:54,541 --> 00:45:55,860 Tell me something I don't know. 780 00:45:55,941 --> 00:46:00,941 We're getting married at four 'o clock today whether you like it or not. 781 00:46:01,021 --> 00:46:03,541 -What the fuck? -Gary. 782 00:46:03,621 --> 00:46:05,701 I think I've fucked it up by telling a few lies. 783 00:46:05,780 --> 00:46:08,421 I'm shagging Paddy Maguire. 784 00:46:08,501 --> 00:46:11,261 [Patty] You stole my savings. How dare you! 785 00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:12,380 Fucking hell! 786 00:46:12,461 --> 00:46:13,621 [camera flash] 787 00:46:13,701 --> 00:46:16,141 I'm not the only one with a secret, am I? 788 00:46:16,221 --> 00:46:17,261 [groans] 789 00:46:17,340 --> 00:46:19,300 I'm sorry I couldn't make it work. 790 00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:10,221 [sighs] 791 00:47:11,941 --> 00:47:13,421 Night night, son. 792 00:47:15,141 --> 00:47:16,421 [Kanye] Night night, dad! 793 00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:18,141 [electronic buzzing] 86533

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