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1
00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,380
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:12,061
[imitates train] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:16,341
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:16,421 --> 00:00:19,541
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,021
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,061
[shouts] Stay away!
7
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:30,741
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
8
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,900
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
9
00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,301
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented,
10
00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:42,021
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
11
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:46,501
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,821
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
13
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,501
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
14
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,501
[all laughing]
15
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,501
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
16
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,381
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
17
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,821
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,101
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
19
00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,861
[laughing]
20
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381
Scatter!
21
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,741
Party!
22
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,181
[music fades out]
23
00:01:22,261 --> 00:01:23,780
[classical music]
24
00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:27,101
[Patty] I once fell in love
with a man I'd never met.
25
00:01:27,181 --> 00:01:29,621
Actor. Movie star.
26
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,261
Handsome thing.
27
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:36,420
Dangerous lips. The promise of sin
in smouldering brown eyes.
28
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,461
I wanted him.
29
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:42,140
I wanted him so badly it hurt.
30
00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:48,140
Years later, I was working
in a bookshop and in he walks.
31
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:51,420
Out of fantasy and into the flesh.
32
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,060
And we talked. Laughed.
33
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,301
But it wasn't too long
before I realised that the man I loved
34
00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:59,261
was capable only of loving himself.
35
00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:05,940
Meeting him ruined every memory
of him I'd ever held dear.
36
00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:09,301
I've never watched a film of his since.
37
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:14,781
The fantasy is always better
than the reality.
38
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,461
[moaning]
39
00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:24,380
Eamonn, Eamonn, yes, Eamonn!
40
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,501
Oh, God, I'm coming.
41
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,941
Oh, God, I'm coming.
42
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:29,661
I'm coming... [moaning]
43
00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:30,781
[Carl] Libby!
44
00:02:35,581 --> 00:02:39,301
She made this horrible
moaning noise, kept shouting,
45
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:41,540
"Eamonn, Eamonn!"
46
00:02:41,621 --> 00:02:44,540
Then cried out to God
that she were coming.
47
00:02:44,621 --> 00:02:46,781
Can you imagine how terrible that must be?
48
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,301
A prisoner in your own body,
49
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:51,141
your only escape,
your only release, in your dreams.
50
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:55,260
[Frank] That's all they are, babe,
just dreams, there's nowt in 'em.
51
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,581
I still dream of boffing Monica.
52
00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:01,700
[sighs]
53
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,741
[Libby] Your nerves
must be shot to pieces.
54
00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:05,820
Agh, he's not the only one, look at that.
55
00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:08,061
I thought the poor old love was a goner.
56
00:03:12,581 --> 00:03:14,021
Why don't you go down the pub?
57
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,260
[mumbles]
58
00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:17,501
That's my drinking hand.
59
00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:19,301
That's why you're only getting a tenner.
60
00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:26,941
[door slamming]
61
00:03:31,061 --> 00:03:34,380
Micky, my sister, Tonya,
she'll be staying here for a while.
62
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:38,901
-Didn't know you had a sister.
-Same dad, different mum. Half-sister.
63
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,181
Which half?
64
00:03:41,301 --> 00:03:43,501
Eh! You're not 16 yet...
65
00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:54,501
Okay, it isn't a massive problem,
so whatever you do keep calm, okay?
66
00:03:58,181 --> 00:03:59,540
Your dad's in the Jockey.
67
00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,581
[Kelly quietly] Shit.
68
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,260
You know his mistake, don't ya?
69
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,100
Saying, "Keep calm".
70
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,021
[door slamming]
71
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,181
It's like saying to someone,
"Don't worry,"
72
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:12,621
cos the first thing
you're going to do is worry, innit?
73
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:13,700
So, Jamie's the looker,
74
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,461
Shane's the thinker,
75
00:04:16,141 --> 00:04:17,821
that means you must be the gobshite.
76
00:04:23,421 --> 00:04:25,060
[rock music]
77
00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:26,541
All right, Homer.
78
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:27,740
Frank.
79
00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:28,781
Pint of Jesus juice.
80
00:04:32,661 --> 00:04:34,701
Yeah, all right, rack us up a slate.
81
00:04:38,301 --> 00:04:39,661
Don't know when you got out...
82
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:41,141
Yesterday, it was in the paper.
83
00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:46,421
[Kelly] But if you wanna stay out,
keep your distance from me and her,
84
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,940
cos I'm just dying to see you back inside
85
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:52,620
and hearing you've been butt-fucked
by every window-licker on the side wing.
86
00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:53,821
And I'm waiting for the day
87
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,261
when I crack open the bubbly
and tell our Tonya
88
00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:59,101
that our bastard of a father's
shuffled off his mortal coil.
89
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,021
The kid's been through enough
since her mam died
90
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:05,101
without you turning up like a bad smell.
91
00:05:06,581 --> 00:05:09,221
So count this as a warning, Daddy dearest.
92
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,821
Your last.
93
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:14,581
Or what?
94
00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:19,021
-[body thuds]
-[Homer groans]
95
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,541
[Kelly groaning]
96
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,500
What the hell?
97
00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:22,821
Or that.
98
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,781
[applause]
99
00:05:34,221 --> 00:05:37,740
Dad's been warned but you know what
he's like, so if he comes near you...
100
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:40,021
-Call the Dibble.
-No police. Not in here.
101
00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:43,581
Tell me, Mimi, any of the lads,
and we'll get him sorted.
102
00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:45,940
If he bothers you again, yeah,
it's concrete boots,
103
00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,581
quick ferry across the Mersey
and bye-bye, Daddy.
104
00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:50,740
Got family in the 'pool. Half Scouse.
105
00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:51,901
Which half?
106
00:05:52,861 --> 00:05:53,740
He fucked my mum round,
107
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,261
he fucked your mum round.
You owe him nothing.
108
00:06:00,261 --> 00:06:01,221
[Kelly sighs]
109
00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:03,180
Where's Shane got to?
110
00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:05,021
Family business.
111
00:06:05,101 --> 00:06:06,261
[anticipatory music]
112
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,581
If he's not back in time,
you're him, right?
113
00:06:18,221 --> 00:06:21,421
Leave the talking to me,
sit there and do your best to look 15.
114
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,101
I am 15!
-Lippy off.
115
00:06:23,981 --> 00:06:24,820
And less tit.
116
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,820
Don't worry, I'm not interested.
117
00:06:31,581 --> 00:06:33,740
In young girls, kids...
118
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,221
I mean, I like 'em.
You know what I mean, I love 'em.
119
00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:37,820
Not in a paedo way. Just...
120
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:43,901
Now remember: calm, collected,
121
00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:46,060
leave the talking to me.
122
00:06:57,221 --> 00:06:59,180
You've passed the CRB check
123
00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:01,101
and the local authority
are happy for Tonya
124
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,820
to stay with you and Shane for now.
125
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,101
It's nice to see a family reunited.
126
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,701
Just a shame about the circumstance.
127
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,861
I just need to check on a few details.
128
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,581
Just you and Shane in residence?
129
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,740
Just two of us, but relatives
drop in all the time, busy house.
130
00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:20,141
But no overnight stays, Shane?
131
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,740
They'd need CRB clearance to be allowed
to stay overnight with a LAC.
132
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,341
Don't call me that.
133
00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:28,541
[sighs] Looked After Child.
134
00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:30,060
Sorry.
135
00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:31,940
We'll make sure no-one stays
while she's here.
136
00:07:32,021 --> 00:07:34,461
With a little luck and a lot of help,
137
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,981
your dad should sort himself out
138
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,781
and you'll be back with him
very soon.
139
00:07:37,861 --> 00:07:41,301
There was talk of Tonya getting
her own place, once she reaches 16.
140
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:45,421
She'd need to get her son out of care
to be guaranteed council accommodation.
141
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,221
I'm sure there's no need to remind you
of the history of neglect.
142
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,461
Hardly neglect,
143
00:07:50,301 --> 00:07:52,701
her mum had died, her dad were
in prison and she had no cash.
144
00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:54,101
The baby was malnourished.
145
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,380
So was she. She's 15.
146
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:59,021
Which is why we've decided
to give her a second chance.
147
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500
Programmed to respond
as its real-life counterpart.
148
00:08:07,581 --> 00:08:09,180
[baby gurgling]
149
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,341
I did tell Tonya last time we met.
150
00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,620
There's a memory chip
that records everything.
151
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,661
So if she keeps the doll happy,
she'll get her kid back?
152
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,221
It'll go in her favour.
153
00:08:19,301 --> 00:08:21,541
You can't compare a baby
with a piece of plastic.
154
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:23,700
If she loses her rag on this,
no harm done.
155
00:08:23,781 --> 00:08:27,101
If she does the same with Enrico,
there's a court case and negligence
156
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,620
allegations all round.
157
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,740
And we don't want that, do we?
158
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,501
I think Tonya's been through
enough over the past few months.
159
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,661
-[everybody shouts]
-Leave him!
160
00:08:46,181 --> 00:08:47,181
[gasps]
161
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,941
[indistinct voices]
Eddie, come on, come on.
162
00:08:50,661 --> 00:08:52,340
[everybody cheers]
163
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:56,381
-[cheers of encouragement]
-[Shane] Go on, lad, one more!
164
00:08:58,021 --> 00:08:59,621
Another step, mate, go on.
165
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,021
[all cheering]
166
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:05,301
Drinks on the house!
167
00:09:05,381 --> 00:09:06,421
What?
168
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:09,340
[rock music starts playing]
169
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,261
Are you saying he grew new legs?
170
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,980
What do you think he is, a fuckin' newt?
171
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:24,781
The trip to the shrine of St Boniface
the Second in France.
172
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,541
Remember the whip-round we had?
173
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:31,941
Boniface saw a vision of the Virgin Mary.
174
00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,381
-[Frank scoffs]
-Ten years in a wheelchair,
175
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:39,621
got to the holy grotto, took four men
to lower him into the waters
176
00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:41,781
and not one to get him out.
177
00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:44,261
Cos he walked.
178
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,860
Walked, Libby. Walked.
179
00:09:46,941 --> 00:09:50,181
Yeah, and his wheelchair
had a re-spray and new tyres.
180
00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:53,741
Mock all you like.
God works in mysterious ways.
181
00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:56,460
Get yourself over there, Patty,
and try it out.
182
00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:58,061
What do you make of that, Mum?
183
00:09:58,141 --> 00:10:01,980
When God first saw fit to confine me
to this contraption,
184
00:10:02,061 --> 00:10:04,821
I prayed every day,
every night, pleaded, begged,
185
00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:06,421
bargained for a way out.
186
00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:08,980
He wasn't listening. Home, Libby!
187
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:11,141
Well, we've only just got here.
188
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:14,421
There's online bingo.
I want to go home now.
189
00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:20,301
Okay, I'll go home alone.
190
00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:23,741
If I'm mugged, raped,
don't hold yourself responsible.
191
00:10:23,821 --> 00:10:24,901
I'm perfectly f...
192
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,061
[Mimi] Don't take it all to heart.
193
00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:29,021
She's got a lot to put up with,
stuck in that thing all day.
194
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,181
Drive anyone round the bend.
195
00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:32,261
Yeah.
196
00:10:35,581 --> 00:10:36,701
[old man grunts]
197
00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:39,100
-Shit.
-[woman] Oh, my God.
198
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,261
[girl] Get an ambulance.
199
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,061
Is he dead?
200
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,220
Oh, the irony.
201
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,340
Play this right and you'll be
just down the road from me.
202
00:10:51,421 --> 00:10:55,021
I can help out with Enrico
and make sure Dad keeps his distance.
203
00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:58,261
Just going to the loo.
204
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,661
She's a good kid.
205
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:04,141
She's like her mum.
206
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:08,541
Have the fillings out your back teeth
before you realise you got your gob open.
207
00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:09,901
[door shuts]
208
00:11:14,901 --> 00:11:16,901
Fuck!
209
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,501
-Look after that till she gets back.
-I can't stay here all night.
210
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:21,541
I've got a rugby team
booked in half an hour,
211
00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:24,541
I can hardly drag junior along. Can I?
212
00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:28,460
There's 30 quid in it for you. I'll be
back around midnight. Don't wait up, bye.
213
00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:30,301
[doll crying]
214
00:11:33,141 --> 00:11:34,301
Mimi?
215
00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:37,661
Jamie said to come straight up.
216
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,740
Course, come in, sit down. Drink?
217
00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:45,460
Vodka tonic?
218
00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,661
Going to be one of those talks, is it?
219
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,621
The pilgrimage you organised
for Steady Eddie? The fundraiser?
220
00:11:53,701 --> 00:11:55,421
What about it?
221
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:57,860
If it isn't too much trouble...
222
00:11:57,941 --> 00:12:02,220
I mean, if it is, just let me know,
if I'm overstepping the mark.
223
00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:15,621
I've always believed that God had a big
black book and we each had a page,
224
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:19,980
our whole lives mapped out
for us before we were even born.
225
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:23,460
Never had you marked down as a fatalist.
226
00:12:23,541 --> 00:12:27,661
I was taught to accept whatever life
threw at you and just get on with it.
227
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:31,661
Seeing Eddie walk got me thinking.
228
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:35,620
Maybe miracles
don't just happen to other people.
229
00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:37,181
Maybe we're due one?
230
00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:38,340
[blowing]
231
00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:40,901
I know it's a long shot,
232
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,701
but if there's even the remotest
possibility that it could work,
233
00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:47,100
then I owe it to Mum to try.
234
00:12:47,181 --> 00:12:52,100
You owe it to yourself.
Looking after her 24/7 can't be too easy.
235
00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:54,581
So you wanna take her to France?
236
00:12:54,661 --> 00:12:59,340
We haven't two pennies to rub together,
so we'd need to do a fundraiser and...
237
00:12:59,421 --> 00:13:03,100
I just wouldn't even know
where to begin.
238
00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:05,061
[sighs] So I was wondering...
239
00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:08,701
Would you consider helping me?
240
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,941
-I'd be honoured.
-[sighs in relief]
241
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:18,620
Feck off. I hate the Frogs
more than I hate the feckin' l-talians.
242
00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:21,021
-Mum!
-She doesn't want to go.
243
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,941
She's hardly one of God's chosen, is she?
244
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:24,781
If she'd lived a few hundred years ago,
245
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,141
she'd been permanently strapped
to a fucking ducking stool.
246
00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:30,781
-It could work.
-Bollocks.
247
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,301
For once, I agree.
248
00:13:32,381 --> 00:13:33,740
[Libby] Do it for me.
249
00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:36,581
If ever I've meant more to you
than just being a skivvy,
250
00:13:36,661 --> 00:13:39,541
someone to feed and clothe you,
to wipe your...
251
00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,541
Eating!
252
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:44,581
Libby, God's not going
to look favourably on the likes of me.
253
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:49,261
I was excommunicated the second
I fell in love with your father.
254
00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:52,261
He'll think of me
as nothing more than a sinner.
255
00:13:53,381 --> 00:13:54,821
Well, I don't know,
256
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,460
Steady Eddie was done time
and again for exposing himself.
257
00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:59,901
Used to flash at the nuns
up at St Morrissey's.
258
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:02,181
God had him back up
on his feet in no time.
259
00:14:02,261 --> 00:14:04,100
And smited him with a coronary
260
00:14:04,181 --> 00:14:06,740
that would have stopped
an elephant in its tracks.
261
00:14:06,821 --> 00:14:09,620
[Libby] Okay, let's put
the faith issue to one side
262
00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:12,141
and look at this as a break.
263
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:15,460
Two days
in the glorious French countryside.
264
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:19,261
Great hotel, waited on hand and foot.
265
00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:21,061
I never said I was a total
266
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,021
non-believer.
267
00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,421
Once a Catholic...
268
00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:30,821
-[doll crying]
-[Ian] Micky,
269
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:32,100
it's four o'clock in the morning!
270
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,301
What the fuck are you doin'?
271
00:14:34,381 --> 00:14:36,100
Doing a favour for Kelly.
272
00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:37,661
Well, Tonya really, but...
273
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,381
-Have you run through the checklist?
-What?
274
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,901
We've got these at the hospital.
275
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,821
-Have you fed it?
-Fed, watered and bathed.
276
00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:46,980
Put it in the back of the car.
277
00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:48,500
The engine'll knock it out.
278
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:51,220
Katie used to love that
when she were little.
279
00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:54,100
That's the theory.
Let us know how it goes.
280
00:14:54,181 --> 00:14:55,620
[Ian] For fuck's sake, Micky.
281
00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:06,460
Kel...
282
00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,261
Micky.
283
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,860
[doll crying]
284
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,581
You've woke him up now,
I only got him off half an hour ago.
285
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,661
I can't take him, I'm going to school.
286
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,860
I don't give a fuck.
287
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:36,061
I'll get the piss ripped out of me
if I turn up with that thing.
288
00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:37,460
Please, Kel.
289
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,661
[Micky] I didn't sign up for this.
290
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,781
You said you'd pick him up by midnight.
291
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,821
Get to school, I'll sort it.
292
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,220
[doll still crying]
293
00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,340
I know it's a pain in the arse,
294
00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:51,141
but you know how important this is.
295
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:54,061
Can't you take it into work,
get one of the girls to look after it?
296
00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:57,021
Tonya doesn't know how I earn a wage
and I'd like to keep it that way.
297
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,980
[sighs] Twenty quid a day.
298
00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:02,261
Thirty and a 50 bonus
if baby's memory card
299
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,620
reads like a dream
at the end of the week. Please.
300
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:07,061
She's a... pain in the arse.
301
00:16:07,141 --> 00:16:09,181
I know, but she's me sister.
302
00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:12,261
She's family, Micky. I owe her.
303
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,100
And I'll owe you. Big time.
304
00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:18,141
You're just using your feminine wiles
to tug on my heart strings.
305
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:19,980
Is it working?
306
00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:21,220
[baby keeps crying]
307
00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:23,980
[whispers] You...
308
00:16:24,061 --> 00:16:25,021
[whines]
309
00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:34,061
I'm sorry, okay? I'm just tired.
310
00:16:37,301 --> 00:16:39,021
[woman laughing]
311
00:16:40,061 --> 00:16:41,901
[doll crying]
312
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,500
Will you lot keep it down?
313
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:46,261
No wonder he won't settle!
314
00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:53,141
Little tip for ya.
315
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,980
When my Rodney was about his age
and wouldn't sleep,
316
00:16:56,061 --> 00:16:58,301
I used to hold
a small pillow over his face.
317
00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,781
Just till he nodded off, like.
318
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,301
[everyone stops talking]
319
00:17:05,581 --> 00:17:07,781
What, like I'm the only one?
320
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:17,940
[doll burping]
321
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:20,221
[doll giggles]
322
00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:21,301
I get more out of him
323
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,380
than I ever thought possible.
Grown quite attached.
324
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,420
Don't tell madam that.
We'll never see her again.
325
00:17:26,981 --> 00:17:28,261
You'd be a nice dad.
326
00:17:29,101 --> 00:17:30,141
Trustworthy.
327
00:17:30,821 --> 00:17:32,101
What about you?
328
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,261
You were thinking
about adopting a while back.
329
00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:36,701
Don't think I'd make
a very good parent, somehow.
330
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,781
Never had much by the way of example.
331
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,581
[door opens]
332
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,781
What time do you call this?
333
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,660
Went for a coffee, got gabbing. Sorry.
334
00:17:43,741 --> 00:17:46,301
The social get wind of you
treating this place like an hotel
335
00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:48,461
and you'll be back in care
before you know it.
336
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,541
[Micky] Your tea's burnt.
337
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:55,940
I been calling you
but it goes straight to voicemail.
338
00:17:56,021 --> 00:17:57,701
It's like you're not interested.
339
00:17:57,781 --> 00:17:59,141
I can cope with it
340
00:17:59,221 --> 00:18:00,981
but what he's going to make of it,
God only knows.
341
00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:02,221
Micky, he's not real.
342
00:18:04,461 --> 00:18:05,781
It's what he represents.
343
00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:08,781
Enrico's in care for a reason.
344
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:13,021
-They don't think you can look after him.
-What if they're right?
345
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:20,381
Come on, don't be too hard on yourself.
346
00:18:21,341 --> 00:18:24,180
Your mum'd not long died,
you was on your own.
347
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:27,861
I'm not now, am I?
348
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,221
It's time I got me act together.
Concentrated on getting my son back.
349
00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:37,621
I was going to go out.
This bloke I've just hooked up with.
350
00:18:38,381 --> 00:18:39,981
Ah, he's gorgeous, Micky.
351
00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:41,581
Like something out of a boy-band.
352
00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,660
Yeah? Which one?
353
00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:44,821
-[giggles]
-Hey?
354
00:18:46,781 --> 00:18:49,180
I'll send him a text, tell him it's over.
355
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,821
The least you can do
is tell him to his face.
356
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,781
I'll cover for you.
357
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,261
-Really?
-Go on.
358
00:18:59,101 --> 00:19:01,741
-Do you want me to take Kanye?
-He's due a feed in an hour.
359
00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:06,541
[doll giggling]
360
00:19:06,621 --> 00:19:09,781
Ladies and gents,
the star attraction's arrived.
361
00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:13,381
[all cheering and clapping]
362
00:19:13,461 --> 00:19:15,541
We've got 500 quid to raise.
363
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,541
So we'd better get started
with our slave for a day auction.
364
00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:19,781
Looking very smart, Carl.
365
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:21,341
Off into town after this.
366
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,660
-On the pull?
-Might get lucky.
367
00:19:23,741 --> 00:19:25,501
If you don't
and you come by my place
368
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,021
and the light's on, give us a knock.
369
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:30,501
You are familiar with the term MILF, Carl?
370
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,261
Seveny-five Punds.
371
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,581
Eighty-five.
372
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,700
Any advance on 85?
373
00:19:41,621 --> 00:19:43,621
Ninety-five.
374
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,420
[everybody shouting]
375
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,660
Once? Twice?
376
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:48,821
Sold!
377
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,141
Five 50!
378
00:19:55,221 --> 00:19:56,341
Come on, ladies.
379
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:59,221
Libby's assured me he's got
a crackin' bedside manner.
380
00:20:00,621 --> 00:20:03,501
Five 75? 5.60?
381
00:20:05,981 --> 00:20:07,420
On its own, number one.
382
00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:08,940
[Carl] House! House!
383
00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,420
House!
384
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,061
[everybody clapping]
385
00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:27,700
Once at 30. Any advance on 30?
386
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,981
Get your fucking shirt off.
387
00:20:31,821 --> 00:20:33,781
Thirty-five!
388
00:20:35,741 --> 00:20:36,900
Forty!
389
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:44,301
Forty-five! Once. Twice...
390
00:20:44,381 --> 00:20:45,461
Sold.
391
00:20:45,541 --> 00:20:46,741
[inaudible]
392
00:20:46,821 --> 00:20:49,021
[everybody cheering and clapping]
393
00:20:54,381 --> 00:20:56,461
Fill your boots.
394
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,501
[Frank] Hey.
395
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,581
[Frank exhales]
396
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,700
I've wanted this for years.
397
00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:10,821
The chance for Mum to be okay.
398
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,261
What will I do, Frank?
399
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:14,660
This is all I've ever known.
400
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,621
If it works, it's down to me
401
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,021
and I don't know what to do
or how to do it.
402
00:21:19,101 --> 00:21:20,940
Yeah, just cos you want something,
403
00:21:21,021 --> 00:21:23,381
doesn't mean to say
that you're going to get it.
404
00:21:23,461 --> 00:21:25,581
I've been hankering for a threesome
405
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,821
with Jordan and Katie Price
for donkey's years,
406
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:29,301
can't see that happening.
407
00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:31,061
She's made every decision for me,
408
00:21:31,141 --> 00:21:33,861
decided every move I've ever made and--
409
00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:36,541
It was you who decided
to take her to France.
410
00:21:36,621 --> 00:21:39,700
And if him upstairs
actually grants us a fucking miracle
411
00:21:39,781 --> 00:21:41,581
and she comes back under her own steam,
412
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:45,900
I want you doing cartwheels up
that road because you'll be free!
413
00:21:47,141 --> 00:21:48,381
Eh? Free!
414
00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:53,261
[coins jangle]
415
00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:01,660
We've reached the target!
416
00:22:01,741 --> 00:22:03,381
[all cheering]
417
00:22:14,301 --> 00:22:15,460
[knock on door]
418
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:17,660
[knock on door]
419
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:21,261
[Mickey grunts]
420
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:25,981
-Shane?
-Patrick.
421
00:22:26,061 --> 00:22:27,700
Shane.
422
00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:29,341
-Micky.
-Shane.
423
00:22:30,301 --> 00:22:31,460
-Micky?
-Julie.
424
00:22:31,541 --> 00:22:33,221
Kelly.
425
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,021
Shit.
426
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:40,981
Ton.
427
00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:47,501
Fuck!
428
00:22:51,301 --> 00:22:54,981
Please don't punish Tonya
for my mistake. She's got no-one.
429
00:22:55,061 --> 00:22:57,460
She's got me. I thought she had you.
430
00:22:57,541 --> 00:23:01,381
Julie, I know you've got a job to do,
and I think you do it brilliantly.
431
00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:05,341
But you must know that sometimes
things don't go to plan and...
432
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:09,141
Can't you just turn a blind eye?
This once?
433
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:13,061
The only person who really suffers,
the only one being punished is Tonya.
434
00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:14,621
[Shane] I'll help out, as well you know.
435
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:18,420
Between the both of us we'll make sure
she's safe, never on her own.
436
00:23:18,501 --> 00:23:21,381
Come on. Everybody deserves a break.
437
00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:23,141
Just one.
438
00:23:23,221 --> 00:23:25,061
[Kelly] Please.
439
00:23:29,301 --> 00:23:30,660
Just one.
440
00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:33,940
If you fuck this up, she's back in care.
Have you got that?
441
00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:36,541
If my bosses found out
about your father-in-law...
442
00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:40,981
Is the flat still a possibility?
443
00:23:42,381 --> 00:23:45,301
As long as that memory card
reads like we need it to.
444
00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:51,341
[sighs in relief]
445
00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:53,821
-Wagons roll.
-It's okay.
446
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,741
[Frank] See you later, El Presidente.
447
00:23:58,141 --> 00:24:00,261
Here you go.
Don't come back with frogs' legs.
448
00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:02,021
Yeah. Alright.
449
00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:05,381
Hey, get as much baccy as you can,
it's dirt cheap in France.
450
00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:08,021
-Ram a few packs down your knickers--
-I'm not going.
451
00:24:09,821 --> 00:24:10,940
What?
452
00:24:12,541 --> 00:24:15,021
You said I should start living,
453
00:24:15,101 --> 00:24:18,981
and I want to start living so bad,
Frank, so bad!
454
00:24:19,061 --> 00:24:20,460
What if I get there and it fails?
455
00:24:20,541 --> 00:24:24,021
What if God takes one look at her
and say, "No, not you. Not today."
456
00:24:24,101 --> 00:24:25,940
[Patty] Libby!
457
00:24:26,021 --> 00:24:28,460
I couldn't stand it. Couldn't.
458
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:34,460
[sighs] Well, I want the old witch
out of here just as much as you do,
459
00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:37,660
but there's no way she's going
to get there on her own, is there?
460
00:24:37,741 --> 00:24:39,061
Which is why you're taking her.
461
00:24:40,301 --> 00:24:41,660
[chuckles] Oh, no!
462
00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:44,660
No, no, she's your mum, not mine.
463
00:24:44,741 --> 00:24:47,861
You can cope better
if it succeeds or fails.
464
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:49,861
You don't give a shit either way.
465
00:24:51,581 --> 00:24:53,460
-Your bag's packed.
-[sighs]
466
00:24:53,541 --> 00:24:56,741
Look because of the effect
she has on you, on us,
467
00:24:56,821 --> 00:25:00,021
I want a miracle too,
but I want it for you.
468
00:25:00,101 --> 00:25:01,301
Then go.
469
00:25:01,381 --> 00:25:03,940
Because if you don't, I'm out of here.
470
00:25:05,061 --> 00:25:07,021
[dramatic music]
471
00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:12,541
This is madness and you know it.
472
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,141
Oh, I disagree.
473
00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:20,781
I'd also like to prefix that by saying,
I do not believe in God.
474
00:25:20,861 --> 00:25:22,460
I am secular.
475
00:25:22,541 --> 00:25:24,541
Latin, meaning "of the age".
476
00:25:24,621 --> 00:25:26,460
Are you truly of the age, Frank?
477
00:25:26,541 --> 00:25:30,141
Or could you just not be arsed aligning
yourself to something requiring an effort?
478
00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:31,460
[inaudible]
479
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:38,821
[Tonya] I'll see you tonight.
480
00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:41,861
"Early night" she says.
"Finished with me fella," she says.
481
00:25:48,301 --> 00:25:49,900
The social worker's been.
482
00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:52,381
I can't believe you've been so stupid.
483
00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,621
[Tonya] Stupid?
484
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,381
I were that fucking stupid
I didn't even know I was having a baby.
485
00:25:56,981 --> 00:25:59,621
I went into hospital
thinking I had appendicitis.
486
00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:00,981
Can you believe that?
487
00:26:02,141 --> 00:26:03,700
The nurses laughed at me.
488
00:26:04,621 --> 00:26:05,741
Laughed.
489
00:26:08,541 --> 00:26:09,501
[sobbing]
490
00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:11,981
I want my son,
491
00:26:13,460 --> 00:26:14,581
and I don't.
492
00:26:15,261 --> 00:26:16,420
I miss him,
493
00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:19,981
and I can't stand
to have him anywhere near me.
494
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,420
I love him...
495
00:26:25,741 --> 00:26:26,821
and I hate him.
496
00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:30,861
Maybe the best thing
would be to let him go.
497
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:35,821
I don't know.
498
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:38,341
What do I do?
499
00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:41,660
Tonya, I'm not that bright myself.
500
00:26:43,541 --> 00:26:45,061
You just need some help.
501
00:26:45,141 --> 00:26:46,341
[sobbing]
502
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,341
Listen, what about the dad?
503
00:26:49,420 --> 00:26:51,700
My dad? He's not allowed anywhere near me.
504
00:26:51,781 --> 00:26:53,420
No, not your dad, the baby's dad.
505
00:26:58,021 --> 00:26:59,541
[dramatic music]
506
00:27:02,381 --> 00:27:05,261
[Tonya sobbing] Don't tell anyone, please.
507
00:27:05,341 --> 00:27:06,781
Don't tell Kelly.
508
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:08,861
Please, Micky...
509
00:27:09,501 --> 00:27:11,141
for the baby's sake.
510
00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:12,981
For Enrico, please.
511
00:27:14,861 --> 00:27:16,301
Okay, I won't.
512
00:27:19,621 --> 00:27:21,021
[further steps]
513
00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:23,861
[door slamming]
514
00:27:26,741 --> 00:27:27,781
[key jangles]
515
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:30,581
I'm sorry.
516
00:27:31,621 --> 00:27:33,061
So you should be, you daft sod.
517
00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,021
I'll go and get packing.
518
00:27:36,101 --> 00:27:37,821
You've had a reprieve.
519
00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:39,261
Julie's turned a blind eye.
520
00:27:39,861 --> 00:27:43,220
You'll be staying here and as soon
as you hit sixteen, the flat's yours.
521
00:27:45,101 --> 00:27:46,301
What about Enrico?
522
00:27:46,381 --> 00:27:49,381
The way Micky's looking after Kanye,
you'll have him back soon.
523
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,581
[both laugh]
524
00:27:56,420 --> 00:27:59,900
Go and get showered.
You stink of fags and booze. Go on.
525
00:28:03,021 --> 00:28:04,460
[banging on door]
526
00:28:11,021 --> 00:28:12,501
Kelly.
527
00:28:12,581 --> 00:28:14,261
[police siren]
528
00:28:15,541 --> 00:28:16,781
So where is she then?
529
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:19,420
I told you to keep your distance.
I told you not to come anyway.
530
00:28:19,501 --> 00:28:21,821
I'm getting a bit sick
of being told what to do.
531
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,220
Now you're gonna listen.
532
00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:25,900
I'm here to stay,
and I want to see my little girl.
533
00:28:25,981 --> 00:28:28,220
She's the only family I've got
apart from you
534
00:28:28,301 --> 00:28:29,940
and we all know what you are, don't we?
535
00:28:30,021 --> 00:28:31,141
They're moving her!
536
00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:33,141
[Homer] I'll find her.
537
00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:35,180
Just like I found her
when she was with you,
538
00:28:35,261 --> 00:28:36,741
like I found her mum when she left,
539
00:28:36,821 --> 00:28:38,141
just like I found your mam.
540
00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:39,900
If you fucking hurt her!
541
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:41,180
[Kelly groaning]
542
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:42,541
What are you gonna do?
543
00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:43,581
I'll tell 'em!
544
00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:44,700
You what?
545
00:28:44,781 --> 00:28:46,301
[yelling] I'll tell 'em!
546
00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:49,621
You tell them and I'll tell them
it was down to you.
547
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:52,741
Me, pissed, you climbing into bed.
548
00:28:52,821 --> 00:28:54,980
I didn't know who you were
until it was too late.
549
00:28:55,741 --> 00:28:56,900
Everyone knows what you are
550
00:28:59,301 --> 00:29:00,501
and what you do.
551
00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:06,541
Who do you reckon they'll believe?
552
00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:13,821
[Kelly breathing heavily]
553
00:29:21,581 --> 00:29:24,940
♪ Maybe I didn't treat you ♪
554
00:29:28,581 --> 00:29:31,741
♪ Quite as good as I should have... ♪
555
00:29:35,621 --> 00:29:37,541
The skirtings could do
with another once over.
556
00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:39,501
Lillian, I've done them three times!
557
00:29:39,581 --> 00:29:42,861
Mistress. Remember, I own you, slave.
558
00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:44,940
It was a charity auction.
I'll give you the cash back--
559
00:29:45,021 --> 00:29:46,101
[Lillian] Trixie!
560
00:29:48,261 --> 00:29:49,900
Have you got any jobs for Carl?
561
00:29:50,861 --> 00:29:52,141
Oh, have I!
562
00:29:53,940 --> 00:29:55,460
Skirtings, yeah?
563
00:30:06,381 --> 00:30:07,621
[church bells ringing]
564
00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:11,061
I was told I'd be staying in a hotel.
565
00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,781
Tell me there's been some terrible mistake
they've dropped us off at the wrong place.
566
00:30:16,501 --> 00:30:18,420
Ah, excuse moi...
567
00:30:19,141 --> 00:30:20,101
Bonjour...
568
00:30:23,781 --> 00:30:26,180
[nuns speaking in French]
569
00:30:28,781 --> 00:30:30,101
Shit!
570
00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:33,261
There must be another room!
571
00:30:33,341 --> 00:30:35,741
It's packed to the rafters
with the faithful and deluded.
572
00:30:37,861 --> 00:30:41,180
We're sharing because
they were expecting Libby, not me.
573
00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:44,381
I only came here because I thought
I was staying somewhere decent.
574
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:48,061
I'd imagined I'd be neck-deep
in a Jacuzzi by now!
575
00:30:48,141 --> 00:30:50,341
Remind me again why we're here?
576
00:30:50,420 --> 00:30:51,581
For your daughter.
577
00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:58,261
Look, you know and I know there's
about as much chance of you walking
578
00:30:58,341 --> 00:31:00,940
as there is me
passing a liver function test.
579
00:31:01,021 --> 00:31:02,781
Oh, come on.
580
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,821
[snorts] Here, hold this.
581
00:31:11,381 --> 00:31:13,940
-It's good for my cataracts.
-You haven't got cataracts!
582
00:31:14,021 --> 00:31:15,581
I rest my case.
583
00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:26,021
[exhales]
584
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:29,940
Fancy a drink?
585
00:31:50,301 --> 00:31:51,141
[Frank] Oh!
586
00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,021
Praise the Lord!
587
00:31:57,501 --> 00:31:59,821
-[nun] Bonjour.
-[Patty] Bonjour.
588
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,460
[nun] Est-ce que je peux vous aider?
589
00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:11,021
Sister Patrick. Father Francis.
590
00:32:12,141 --> 00:32:15,301
He's deaf. Mute. Here for the cure.
591
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,781
We're just out for a breath of air.
592
00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:22,541
S'il vous plait.
593
00:32:23,501 --> 00:32:24,460
Not at all.
594
00:32:27,381 --> 00:32:28,821
I will pray for you.
595
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:29,781
Mh...
596
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,581
[Patty] We need all the help we can get.
597
00:32:33,541 --> 00:32:34,700
Thank you.
598
00:32:37,261 --> 00:32:38,460
[whispering] Fucking hell!
599
00:32:45,021 --> 00:32:46,141
[Franks grunts]
600
00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:49,061
[door slamming]
601
00:32:55,101 --> 00:32:56,381
[footsteps getting closer]
602
00:33:05,581 --> 00:33:07,261
Tonya's out with her mates.
603
00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:10,541
Been calling your mobile.
604
00:33:13,021 --> 00:33:14,381
I'm out of credit.
605
00:33:16,740 --> 00:33:18,141
She told me about the Soce.
606
00:33:21,061 --> 00:33:24,341
About her staying with us...
till she hits sixteen.
607
00:33:26,261 --> 00:33:27,700
Gets her own flat.
608
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:31,940
That's on account of the good job
you've done with Kanye.
609
00:33:39,021 --> 00:33:40,021
You think it's a good idea?
610
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,101
I mean...
611
00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,621
her looking after a kid?
612
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:50,621
She's still a kid herself.
613
00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:56,220
Maybe...
614
00:33:58,021 --> 00:34:02,541
best thing would be for Enrico
to stay in care
615
00:34:02,621 --> 00:34:05,261
until she feels ready to look after him.
616
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:09,340
Maybe the best thing would be for her...
617
00:34:12,941 --> 00:34:14,860
maybe if she let him get adopted.
618
00:34:15,941 --> 00:34:17,260
Give him a chance.
619
00:34:31,101 --> 00:34:32,660
She said your dad...
620
00:34:36,581 --> 00:34:38,180
[panting lightly] wasn't...
621
00:34:41,021 --> 00:34:42,381
proper with her.
622
00:34:50,501 --> 00:34:51,860
Was he proper with you?
623
00:35:03,461 --> 00:35:05,541
Social are picking him up in an hour.
624
00:35:14,820 --> 00:35:16,780
[water running]
625
00:35:33,661 --> 00:35:34,941
[splash]
626
00:35:36,541 --> 00:35:38,461
[bubbling]
627
00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,300
[dramatic music]
628
00:36:02,501 --> 00:36:03,860
[sobbing]
629
00:36:14,261 --> 00:36:17,141
-Hey, you missed a good night last night.
-Cracking laugh.
630
00:36:17,221 --> 00:36:20,141
-[Micky] Vodka, straight.
-On the hard stuff?
631
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,621
[paper rustling]
632
00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:28,461
-Look, I can take an early tea break--
-I'm fine, ta.
633
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:42,221
Top half in there.
634
00:36:45,381 --> 00:36:49,061
[whispering] Drink it quick. Then leave.
635
00:36:49,141 --> 00:36:50,421
[scoffs]
636
00:36:52,661 --> 00:36:55,661
In fact, just get out.
637
00:36:55,741 --> 00:36:57,421
Is this a joke?
638
00:36:59,661 --> 00:37:03,061
I know what you did to your daughters.
639
00:37:03,141 --> 00:37:05,380
I know what you are.
640
00:37:05,461 --> 00:37:07,300
Fuck you.
641
00:37:16,621 --> 00:37:19,141
Oh, Liam. Maybe we should wait.
642
00:37:19,741 --> 00:37:22,221
Until your mum comes back
doing the Can-Can?
643
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:23,621
Oh, ye of little faith.
644
00:37:23,701 --> 00:37:25,061
[Libby] I'm being cautious.
645
00:37:25,941 --> 00:37:29,141
There are many reasons why him upstairs
might not give us what we want.
646
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,701
The most probable
is that there's no him upstairs.
647
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,261
There's not even an upstairs.
648
00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:36,741
How do you get to be so cynical
at your age?
649
00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:38,661
How do you get to be so gullible at yours?
650
00:37:38,741 --> 00:37:40,981
It's not gullibility, it's desperation.
651
00:37:41,061 --> 00:37:44,101
I know you understand a lot of things
at your age that you shouldn't.
652
00:37:44,181 --> 00:37:47,621
-But I hope that's not one of them.
-Another thing to look forward to.
653
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:50,780
[Libby] If this doesn't work,
he'll think I'm an idiot.
654
00:37:52,541 --> 00:37:54,661
You're many things,
but you're not an idiot.
655
00:37:54,741 --> 00:37:55,581
Now grab the big 'un.
656
00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:03,621
[Frank] You know Libby expects a miracle,
don't you?
657
00:38:05,661 --> 00:38:08,621
[Patty] She won't get one. Stupid girl.
658
00:38:08,701 --> 00:38:09,901
Quite.
659
00:38:11,021 --> 00:38:14,501
Don't know why she thinks
as much of you as she does, y'know.
660
00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:17,780
I'm her mother.
661
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,901
Kids are programmed.
662
00:38:20,780 --> 00:38:22,421
Didn't you love yours?
663
00:38:23,501 --> 00:38:24,981
Can't hardly remember her.
664
00:38:26,701 --> 00:38:28,421
Remember loving her.
665
00:38:28,501 --> 00:38:29,981
I suppose I still do.
666
00:38:31,380 --> 00:38:32,701
When did you lose her?
667
00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:33,820
I was 12.
668
00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:34,941
Oh.
669
00:38:35,621 --> 00:38:37,741
[Frank] The head master
called me to his office.
670
00:38:38,421 --> 00:38:39,860
Dad was there.
671
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:42,421
He says...
672
00:38:42,501 --> 00:38:43,860
"Your mum's died."
673
00:38:44,541 --> 00:38:46,780
-Just like that.
-[Patty] She missed out...
674
00:38:47,701 --> 00:38:49,340
on all those special years.
675
00:38:49,421 --> 00:38:51,101
Well, they weren't that special.
676
00:38:52,461 --> 00:38:54,581
She didn't stick around and see me...
677
00:38:58,181 --> 00:38:59,661
...slip.
678
00:39:00,501 --> 00:39:03,101
Well, not so much of a slip,
more of a fucking...
679
00:39:03,780 --> 00:39:07,581
Cresta Run, downhill slalom,
call it what you fucking will.
680
00:39:08,661 --> 00:39:11,780
Maybe if she'd been there
it wouldn't have happened.
681
00:39:15,621 --> 00:39:20,181
[church bells ringing]
682
00:39:20,261 --> 00:39:23,820
Fucking...
Calling the faithful to their knees.
683
00:39:23,901 --> 00:39:24,780
Hmph.
684
00:39:27,261 --> 00:39:28,581
Fancy joining them?
685
00:39:48,421 --> 00:39:49,701
[tense music]
686
00:39:50,541 --> 00:39:52,701
A pressie from your daughters.
687
00:40:00,741 --> 00:40:02,300
[piss splashing]
688
00:40:04,061 --> 00:40:05,061
Shit!
689
00:40:09,661 --> 00:40:12,780
Shane? Get to the Jockey toilets quick,
I need a hand!
690
00:40:13,981 --> 00:40:16,661
[choir singing]
691
00:40:16,741 --> 00:40:18,021
Merci.
692
00:40:19,741 --> 00:40:21,340
[people talking in French]
693
00:40:22,661 --> 00:40:25,340
What I wouldn't give
for that kind of faith.
694
00:40:25,421 --> 00:40:26,300
Hmph!
695
00:40:27,061 --> 00:40:30,820
[Frank] No, there's... there's
something happening here, Patty.
696
00:40:30,901 --> 00:40:32,021
No denying it.
697
00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:35,941
It's mass hysteria without the hysterics.
698
00:40:36,701 --> 00:40:38,461
The desperate will try anything.
699
00:40:39,221 --> 00:40:42,860
Praying to a God that doesn't exist
being top of the list.
700
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,021
What's happened here, then?
701
00:40:45,340 --> 00:40:48,541
See, that is not the same guy
who was just lowered
702
00:40:48,621 --> 00:40:49,981
into that water just now.
703
00:40:50,061 --> 00:40:52,661
There's... you know, a change in him.
704
00:40:52,741 --> 00:40:53,981
You can see it.
705
00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:57,941
[Patty] He feels better
because he's been told he will.
706
00:40:58,021 --> 00:41:00,901
Because he wants to. It's a placebo.
707
00:41:02,741 --> 00:41:05,101
[all praying in French]
708
00:41:06,541 --> 00:41:07,901
Your turn soon.
709
00:41:08,741 --> 00:41:10,221
[laughing] If you actually think
710
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:12,981
I'm going to participate
in this pantomime...
711
00:41:16,181 --> 00:41:17,061
C'mon...
712
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:28,701
[woman exclaims in French]
713
00:41:32,141 --> 00:41:34,701
[majestic choral music plays]
714
00:42:08,181 --> 00:42:10,221
[music stops suddenly]
715
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,101
[all cry out in French]
716
00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:14,860
God! Jesus!
717
00:42:14,941 --> 00:42:16,141
II peut marcher!
718
00:42:17,101 --> 00:42:19,941
Oh, Seigneur! C'est un miracle!
719
00:42:20,021 --> 00:42:21,101
What?
720
00:42:21,181 --> 00:42:24,581
Oh, get off me, you stupid French...
721
00:42:25,780 --> 00:42:27,501
Remember Agincourt?
722
00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,701
Hey? Fucking Waterloo?
723
00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:31,780
Waterloo!
724
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,221
[water dripping]
725
00:42:41,221 --> 00:42:43,661
[Homer moans and struggles]
726
00:42:45,061 --> 00:42:46,741
Give me a ring when you're done.
727
00:42:48,701 --> 00:42:50,741
Been wondering what to do with you, Homer.
728
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:53,541
My initial reaction
was to kill you straight away.
729
00:42:53,621 --> 00:42:54,901
Too quick.
730
00:42:57,581 --> 00:42:59,820
-So I came up with this.
-[muffled shouts]
731
00:43:05,141 --> 00:43:07,941
-[drill whirring]
-[muffled shouts]
732
00:43:13,101 --> 00:43:14,501
[Kelly] I'll get these.
733
00:43:14,581 --> 00:43:17,101
Er... 140 as agreed.
734
00:43:18,141 --> 00:43:19,701
We had a deal.
735
00:43:20,541 --> 00:43:21,501
You're family.
736
00:43:22,941 --> 00:43:23,941
Thanks, bro.
737
00:43:24,701 --> 00:43:26,621
Vodka tonic. Double, please.
738
00:43:27,941 --> 00:43:29,221
Make it two.
739
00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:33,101
Are you okay now?
740
00:43:33,181 --> 00:43:34,181
Cheers, mate.
741
00:43:34,780 --> 00:43:35,661
Good.
742
00:43:37,141 --> 00:43:40,421
Micky, any idea where your dad
and brothers have got to?
743
00:43:40,501 --> 00:43:43,860
They had a bit of, er, business to sort
in Liverpool. Last minute stuff.
744
00:43:43,941 --> 00:43:45,221
[Mimi] They've been gone hours.
745
00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:48,221
Shane said they might take
a quick ferry across the Mersey.
746
00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:50,501
[Mimi] They loved doing that
when they were kids.
747
00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:05,181
[engine revs]
748
00:44:10,181 --> 00:44:12,820
-It didn't work.
-Did you really expect it to?
749
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,101
Hoped it might.
750
00:44:15,181 --> 00:44:17,541
-Welcome back, Mum.
-Miss me?
751
00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:21,461
-Course.
-You've never been a good liar, Libby.
752
00:44:21,541 --> 00:44:24,900
Never been that good at anything,
really, have you?
753
00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:28,141
I hope you've something decent
in for tea. The French eat anything.
754
00:44:28,221 --> 00:44:31,141
Frogs, snails, cheese with maggots in,
would you believe!
755
00:44:31,221 --> 00:44:32,661
[man] Hello?
756
00:44:32,741 --> 00:44:35,300
Yeah, landed about 10 minutes ago.
757
00:44:35,380 --> 00:44:37,741
-[gasps]
-[man] Yeah.
758
00:44:37,820 --> 00:44:39,061
Fuck's she doing now?
759
00:44:42,181 --> 00:44:44,981
[classical music plays]
760
00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,101
-[Libby] Mum?
-[Frank] Oh, come on!
761
00:45:00,181 --> 00:45:02,860
I thought I saw someone I knew.
762
00:45:02,941 --> 00:45:05,541
Well, home. Now.
763
00:45:05,621 --> 00:45:07,701
[Frank] Put her in the back.
764
00:45:07,780 --> 00:45:11,421
[Patty] We all desire
things we can never have.
765
00:45:11,501 --> 00:45:12,380
Thank you.
766
00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:14,900
Have goals we can never achieve.
767
00:45:14,981 --> 00:45:18,860
Winning the lottery, flying to the moon,
768
00:45:18,941 --> 00:45:22,021
bedding the best looking girl
or boy in town.
769
00:45:22,101 --> 00:45:24,300
-[Mimi] There you go.
-Mimi. Thank you.
770
00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:27,541
But I'd never even tried
to make my dreams reality.
771
00:45:27,621 --> 00:45:30,061
Couldn't bear the thought of failing.
772
00:45:30,141 --> 00:45:31,461
It was worth a try.
773
00:45:34,061 --> 00:45:37,941
Couldn't bear to be reminded
of just how ordinary I am.
774
00:45:39,981 --> 00:45:42,141
[Lilian] Oh, if I were 10 years younger!
775
00:45:42,221 --> 00:45:46,820
Give me fantasy over reality any day.
776
00:45:48,581 --> 00:45:49,941
[sighs]
777
00:45:50,021 --> 00:45:52,501
This wedding certificate. It's fake.
778
00:45:52,581 --> 00:45:54,461
And the kids! They're all bastards!
779
00:45:54,541 --> 00:45:55,860
Tell me something I don't know.
780
00:45:55,941 --> 00:46:00,941
We're getting married at four 'o clock
today whether you like it or not.
781
00:46:01,021 --> 00:46:03,541
-What the fuck?
-Gary.
782
00:46:03,621 --> 00:46:05,701
I think I've fucked it up
by telling a few lies.
783
00:46:05,780 --> 00:46:08,421
I'm shagging Paddy Maguire.
784
00:46:08,501 --> 00:46:11,261
[Patty] You stole my savings.
How dare you!
785
00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:12,380
Fucking hell!
786
00:46:12,461 --> 00:46:13,621
[camera flash]
787
00:46:13,701 --> 00:46:16,141
I'm not the only one with a secret, am I?
788
00:46:16,221 --> 00:46:17,261
[groans]
789
00:46:17,340 --> 00:46:19,300
I'm sorry I couldn't make it work.
790
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:10,221
[sighs]
791
00:47:11,941 --> 00:47:13,421
Night night, son.
792
00:47:15,141 --> 00:47:16,421
[Kanye] Night night, dad!
793
00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:18,141
[electronic buzzing]
86533
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