All language subtitles for Endless.Waltz.1995

Céline,
"Journey to the End of the Night"

or lack coherence.

This one is amongst the clearest images.

From a time when I was so little.

Oddly, I vividly remember

my mother's empty eyes
at this very moment.

Here is my mother, Izumi Suzuki.

I have no memories of my father,
who died when I was only one.

Of course, he's not the
man present here.

At this time, I wasn't aware
of what they were doing.

Aren't you cold?

Kaoru.

What are you saying?

Aren't you cold?

You look like you are.

Waiting for your call.
Bye, Hideyuki Okada

Hello?

Mrs Suzuki? Tanaka speaking,
from Shiratori Publishing.

Sorry to bother you. Are you done
with the first manuscript?

- I am, it's ready.
- Thank you very much.

By the way, have you thought
about my proposition?

- What proposition?
- Kaoru Abe's biography.

Not yet.

You haven't decided yet?

You said you were the only one who could
write about your defunct husband.

- I did.
- Think about it.

A biography of Kaoru Abe,
mythical jazz musician from the 70s,

would sell rather well,
retro is in fashion.

All right.

It's a question of speed.

Life is either "thin and long",
or "fat and short".

When you're done with it,
you die regardless.

I'm headed North.

Extreme North, where no one ever went.

There is no heat over there.
Sound fades away.

Creating a sound
that removes any heat.

Good evening.

It's been a long time.
What do you want?

A whiskey.

Let me buy you this whiskey.

There were Japanese amongst
the hijackers, the other day.

But these guerillas should have
gone way further.

First of all, they shouldn't have
lingered in Dubai!

If I were a guerrilla,

I would fly the plane
all the way to Mars.

Give me a smoke.

A few days ago,
a Korean politician was kidnapped.

- What a strange world!
- I'm thirsty.

And we dare drink and have fun
in a place like this!

Can you put me up tonight?

I'm menstruating.

Hello.

Hello? It is I.

Who's "I"?

It is I!
I want to see you.

Who are you?

You're not Yo, are you?

No.

- Is this the 0425-40-2935?
- It is.

So there's no mistake.
I had this number in my pocket.

I see, it's you. I'm coming.
Give me your address.

Who are you?

I am Kaoru Abe, born May 3, 1949

blood group AB.
What about you?

Izumi Suzuki. Former actress.
People call me a writer.

I was born on July 10, 1949.
My blood group also is type AB.

- Do you listen to jazz?
- I don't know anything about it.

I haven't slept for three days.
I was looking for a sound.

Forty pieces in a night,
I composed hundreds.

I don't keep the score,
I memorise their sounds.

My music exists only once.

In Free Jazz, the main thing
is the moment's emotion.

Sometimes, it can take several
minutes for the sound to appear,

and other times,
I can't find the sound at all.

In these cases, you must feel stupid,
don't you?

That's it. I stay there,
waiting for the sound.

My sound can't be dishonest,
nor impure.

If I were playing the piano,
the strings would break.

I played the sax
until my lips were bleeding.

I once played against rockers,
their amp burned out.

I used to practice on the Tama's banks,
but not anymore.

I'm a genius.

I used to live in a flat in Kawasaki,
above a whores' hotel.

Every night, my sax competed
with women voices.

A "whore's hotel"...
I like that.

It's in ugliness
that one can find truth.

I only believe in ugly things.

Again?

I'm obstinate. If I like something,
I go all the way.

And now, I like you.

Where are you going?

I have to meet with my publisher,
for my work.

Forget it!

Stop it!

Since you're over here,
we spend all of our time making love!

Disappear a little!

I dropped all of my concerts for you!

You need to do the same.

I didn't ask you for this,
you decided on your own!

- Let me go!
- Don't go!

It's going to cool down!

It can cool down!
Let it cool down.

Walk at my pace.

- I want to be close to you!
- And I don't!

I personally don't care
whether it's you or not.

Leave me alone!

So be it!
Go wherever you want!

It's been a long time.

Have you lost weight?

Six months of fevers, dizziness,
hysteria. I'm sick.

You don't look well.

And you, you do.

I now lead a normal life.
As an employee, health is key.

Are you still writing?

Texts to make one puke!

Is your literary talent that powerful?

You must have so much to write about!

You know,

about Kaoru...

I intend to write on him.

How long has it been?

Seven years.

I met him twelve years ago.

The legendary genial jazzman,

Kaoru Abe...

Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix,
and Janis Joplin.

Now, they're all myths.

- Where does this come from?
- Harajuku.

Pretty good.

So, how is Kaoru Abe?

He claims to be a genius,
and he's obstinate.

It might sound a nuisance,

but he's so obstinate
it becomes funny.

You fell for him!

Stop it!
He really bothered me last week!

You mean he really entertained you!

But an obstinate guy is best for you.

You tend to quickly lose interest
in guys you sleep with.

Do you think so?

If it's that much fun why don't
you become his girlfriend!

"Become his girlfriend"...?

I'm seizing the opportunity...

I love you.

What opportunity?

It hurts!

So you love me?

- Izumi!
- What?

Let's get married.

- All right.
- Right now!

- You won't postpone, won't you?
- No way!

MARRIAGE ACT OCTOBER 1st 1973

Beware of the corner!

- Is it OK?
- Yes, it is.

In the back?

- There, in the corner.
- Here?

Can I put that on top?

I don't get you, Abe.

You claim you're looking for a sound,
but you don't go to your concerts.

I'm a hard liner to this extent.

In my heart,
I give concerts every single day.

But clients are coming,
you need to play!

Otherwise, it is but a decline!

Decline can be good.

Destroying myself is the shortest
way to destroying sound.

Is this how you justify
your daily life?

This is the point I wanted to make.

You push in a direction,
but you lose your freedom.

It's completely paradoxical.

You dismantle the sound to get free,
but at the cost of your freedom.

- How is this compatible?
- That's true, this is absurd!

I can see that you're tormented,
and trying to hide it.

I endure it.
To reach the true sound.

So it is with glowing patience.

Glowing patience?

"A hard night!
Dried blood smokes on my face,

"And nothing lies behind me
but that repulsive little tree!

"Yet this is the watch by night.

"Let us all accept new strength,
and real tenderness.

"And at dawn,
armed with glowing patience,

"we will enter
the cities of glory."

Do you get it?

I don't.

"Not much music left inside us

"for life to dance to.

"And where, I ask you,
can a man escape to,

"when he hasn't enough
madness left inside him?

"The truth is an endless death agony.

"The truth is death.

"You have to choose: death or lies.
I've never been able to kill myself."

Céline,
"Journey to the End of the Night"

- Say, is this Kaoru Abe?
- Yes it is.

- Your husband?
- Yes.

Did he travel from home
in this outfit?

He did, I made it for him.
Isn't it cute?

So, this is an "idea".

Free Jazz is a metaphysics
shaped as an Husserlian ideality.

Husserl is a French philosopher,
he wrote "Speech and Phenomena".

He's an authority in
contemporary phenomenology.

It's Derrida.

Derrida wrote "Speech and Phenomena".

- Did he?
- By the way,

ideality is rather is
music flooding the world.

Free Jazz tries to dismantle
this ideality and to structure it.

Let me lend you this, come back
and listen to me once you've studied it.

Jacques Derrida,
"Speech and Phenomena"

Let Glenn Miller deal with the idea!

Everyone in the streets!

We were imposed the education
of post-war democracy,

and we saw its true nature

with Japan's responsibility
in the Vietnam war.

To criticize our own criminality...

- Let's fight!
- Let's fight!

- It's been a long time!
- Eda...

- Thanks for last time.
- Comrade.

Be well.
Goodbye!

Be my girlfriend for thirty seconds,
I beg of you!

Izumi!

Lily?

Thank god you're here!

I went through Shinjuku, but there is
a demonstration, and riot police...

In any case, We need to fight,

by taking the side
of workers and the oppressed.

Even if we're shot down,
we need to open up a way for others.

To achieve this,
we have to make some sacrifices.

When, where and how did you meet him?

And when did you see him
for the last time?

You're such a pain! How many times
do I have to tell you he's my ex?

I need to know everything about you.

Why is that?

Because we're married.

Our present, our past,
our future, the both of us.

We're a couple by sharing all of this.

That's your point of view.

It's self-evident!

All right, let me start
by a more general question.

How many men have you slept with
until now?

Hey!

I don't remember!

Maybe more than a hundred.

But that's not the point.
I forgot them all!

Eda, I never slept with him.

I did often think of it, though.

But do you know why we didn't do it?

I loved him that much.
I still often think of him,

regardless that I'm with someone.

Idiot!

And never come back!

That's amazing!

If we only consider the sound,
he's unbeatable nowadays.

Does he take less drugs and alcohol?

Not at all!

It's already incredible that
he can play like this,

while he was getting high just now.

Could you watch over him
for some time?

I'd also like to have him
play on stage.

I plan on making him do
a national tour next year.

It's useless, he's an idiot.

Charlie Parker too, John Coltrane too,

Albert Ayler too, Kaoru Abe too,

they're all idiots.

It's useless to talk to an idiot.

Izumi, I was mad.

Mad from jealousy.

Forgive me.

Please, forgive me...

I hate you now.

But I apologized!

I'm sick.
A genius' illness.

Dostoïevski and Van Gogh
had the same illness.

"One can speak of the good mental health
of Van Gogh who,

"in his whole adult life,
cooked only one of his hands

"and did nothing else

"except once to cut off
his left ear."

Hey.

Hey!

- Did you see my manuscript?
- I didn't.

I finished it yesterday,
and put it on my desk!

It can't have disappeared!

There is only you and I!

Do you mean I stole it?

"However delirious
this statement may seem..."

Did you throw it away?

What?

You threw away my manuscript!

Why would I do that?
This is nonsense!

I'm supposed to hand it over tomorrow,
how am I going to do?

Do not shout!

You're the only one here!
Acting like a kid!

What are you saying?

You write for pathetic magazines,
thinking yourself a author!

We have to live!

So that you can play the sax
in pathetic clubs!

You're acting all wild
just for the style of it, stupid!

You're a slave to consumer culture!

You're speaking nonsense!

Consumer culture,

is but an illusion forced upon
us by false intellectuals!

Wake up!

One can't make a living
of futile speeches.

If it's going to buy my manuscript,
long live consumer society!

"If she won't become a prostitute
the woman can only to be a mother".

This is nonsense. As is your life.

So you threw it away!

Die!

It hurts!

Kaoru!
Please stop!

I'm practicing.

You're supposed to be a genius,
you don't need to practice!

I can practice if I want to!

Not now! I told you this
is due tomorrow!

You're jealous of my talent,
aren't you?

You're far from having my talent!

It's in ugliness that one
can find truth? That's crap!

This music conveys so much more
truth than your ugly sound!

Being praised by a couple
of monomaniacs is worthless!

You're showing off with your avant-garde,
but reality will catch up with you!

You'll surrender to my convictions!

Narcissus.

"End of the fight against the
American-Japanese Security Treaty

"suddenly poured out Tadao.

"When he leaped on the police unit,

"he violently banged
the back of his head..."

What are you reading?
Stop it!

Give it back!

"I want Tadao to know
all about me."

Give it back!

What do you mean, "Tadao"?

This is about Eda, this guy we saw
the other day, isn't it?

- So what?
- Why do you write about him?

I have the right to write
about something real.

- You shouldn't.
- Why is that?

Earning your living by disclosing
your private life is despicable.

Good for me. I have
no imagination whatsoever.

I can only write about real events.

- You're wrong.
- Am I?

A piece of work should
come from deep in your heart.

Never imitate.
You're making a crucial mistake.

So you shoot yourself up to create
pieces coming from your heart?

Even my alcoholic grandfather
wouldn't use such an excuse!

Don't change the subject!

You changed it!
Be honest,

tell me you're still jealous of Eda.

And of my talent.

If you keep being jealous of everything,

You'll end up getting angry
with yourself!

Help!

You again?

It was for fun!

We were gently having fun,

but the neighbors
have nothing better to do.

They could try to understand.

He's the only one who's willing to play
the game with me right to the end.

In any case, please lead
a quieter life. Thank you.

I love you so much I don't know
how to express it anymore.

It's your fault!
What are you going to do?

You spend your whole days clung to me!

I can't work anymore because of you.

Do you understand?

If you don't stop, I'll kill you!

You'd kill me?

Are you able to kill someone?

Of course!

I've always wanted to kill someone!

Why is that?

Anatomical curiosity!

For instance,

so as to not make him suffer,

with a hatchet... Do you
know what a hatchet is?

With a hatchet or something else,
I'd split his head in one go.

And I'd examine what's inside.

The intestines flow out like that,
soft and shining, aren't they?

I want to feel that against my hands!

Furthermore,
if I were to kill someone,

I'd rather it be a woman.

Why?

The body of a man is too tough,

the bone would slow the hatchet
right away, that's no fun!

Is that so? It's probably the same
for women.

Not at all! You can see I look
easy to cut up, and you don't.

- Looks the same to me.
- Not at all! Look.

It's the same.

- What if I cut myself up to see?
- Go on.

Really?

All right.

I'm going to cut myself up!

Look closely.

I'm going to!

It's true!

Exactly as I claimed!

Aren't you hurting?

I'm not.

When I was a child,

I cut up my hand,

and poured my blood in a white plate.

At the time, I was amused
but I wasn't hurting.

So, you can do anything
while keeping calm.

Of course!

I can even cook.

What if I cooked you an omelet?

Hey, Izumi's toe!

The blood is moving around!

I'll make you a large omelet,
as in "Sunflower"!

I was the one that tried out,
so you should be the one cleaning up!

All right!

- No!
- It's just toilet paper!

I had to wait in line for two hours
to buy that!

Come on, it's all right!

So you were hurting!

You were hurting!

Here is Izumi's toe.

Why do you preserve it?

We went to the hospital all the same.

Thank goodness!

But, even modern medicine
can't stitch back a cut toe.

So?

So I preserve it,
so that it won't rot.

In 200 years, when medicine
has made progress, we'll stitch it back.

OBSTETRICIAN GYNECOLOGIST

I'll make a writer out of her.

How do you plan on bringing her up?

I won't bring her up,

I'll just tell her
not to see sax players.

- It might be a boy.
- I'm sure it's a girl.

Hello, Nobuko?

Abe speaking.

I plan on splitting up with my wife.

But she's pregnant.

If I had money for an abortion,
we could split up.

But I haven't.

- Sorry for being late.
- Thanks for coming.

I'm giving you this money
as an advance for fifteen concerts.

You won't be able to skip
concerts for a long time.

Who's this woman?

His producer.
She gives Kaoru jobs.

- No! I already have a big belly!
- It's all right!

But he's sleeping!

So wake him up.

He's not waking up.

A man that creates sound
should be free,

but you use our child
as an excuse to turn me down.

- Do you mean it's my fault?
- Exactly.

I did what you wanted to!
You're the one not having a boner.

I'm not impotent.
Hence, it's your fault.

I don't know! It depends
on our state of mind!

You don't get it!

You're the one not getting it!
You climb on me whenever you want to!

If I'm not true to my state of mind,
I can't create sound.

Here it is, right away,
sound as an excuse!

Why don't you respect my desire?

You said you slept with
hundreds of men, didn't you?

Did they all respect your desire?

You're a real jerk!

Why am I the only one
you're turning down?

Because the others weren't impotent!

Stop it!

It hurts! I'm sorry!

Don't hit me in the stomach!
Please!

Go away!

And never come back!

Izumi!

Izumi!

Izumi!

What recollections I have of Abe?

I'm saying this because it all was
a long time ago.

Honestly, I have few good
memories of him.

He would really be out of control!

It wasn't an issue when
he was playing solo,

but when we would play together,
he would piss us off.

What's up with you?
Get a move on!

What about his music?

It was probably amazing,
since everyone says so.

Personally, I never heard Abe
playing well.

Playing together, that's something else.

"My father is Eric Dolphy.
My mother is Billie Holiday."

He would say this all the time.
Nonsense!

Music is a courtesy towards
musicians you're playing with.

One who lacks politeness
can only create an impolite sound.

One who is confused
can only create a disordered music.

To me "putting on airs",
is not "having style".

"In the old days,
Earth was inhabited by women only.

"But gradually, men grew in numbers.

"They're the ones that came up
with war, weapons.

"Even worse, they started to
play and marveled at ideas.

"Revolution, work, art,
all these abstract things,

"they uselessly expend energy..."

Mommy.

That's not interesting!

Is that so?

I intend to make a book out of this,
and have it sold in bookstores.

I'm sleepy!

So good night, sleep tight.

My mother delivered me in 30 hours.
I weighted 2400 grammes.

Being in good health, with fair
complexion, I looked like my father.

I'll never hit you again.

Turn around, and smile.

But I didn't hit our child, did I?

Please, don't cry,

don't disturb mommy while she work.

What's up with you?

Hi!

- You don't have your baby?
- My mother is taking care of her.

Without Kaoru, and without the baby,

I feel like my old self again.

So Abe didn't return home.

It's been two months already.

Has it?

As of late, he creates an amazing sound.
He plays angrily.

- Does he?
- But I'm worried about him.

When I went with him
to a concert in the provinces,

he gravely whispered:
"Are we going to cross the sea?".

Does he still hit you?

He may be a genius
with regards to sound,

but for me, he's a bastard.

At 9h02 this morning in Sapporo,
a large explosion

occurred at the first floor
of a building.

The ceiling partially collapsed,
and windows were broken...

Hey, I sketched a schedule
for your tour.

Look.

Stop it!

Is this Abe's wife speaking?

Why don't you know
where your husband is?

- He's there, isn't he?
- What are you saying?

Let me talk to him!

I have things to do, I'm hanging up.

Who's there?

Kaoru.

What's up?

An old lady is sitting over there.

She's looking at me.

She's staring at me.

She's trying to tell me something.

Eh? What?

Kaoru. No one's there.

It's not only her.
Everyone's here.

Everyone's here!

Don't look at me!

Go away!

Kaoru! Kaoru!

Pull yourself together! Kaoru!

War!

War!
Nuclear war has begun!

Everything will become radioactive,
Izumi! Quick, hide yourself!

This is war! Izumi!

Hide yourself! Radioactivity
will spread down on us! Izumi!

Everything's going to be radioactive!

Mister Abe.

I wonder whether it isn't rather
I who is the crazy one.

Why is that?

Because my husband says so.

He claims he's normal,
and that I'm crazy.

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"...

Many patients say
similar things over here.

"Is the world crazy?
Or am I?"

Doctor,

who can decide
whether someone is crazy or not?

There were people that claimed
our life was crazy.

But...

who can say whether the ones that
claimed this were normal themselves?

You're tired.

You should stop worrying.

In any case,
he has to stop taking drugs.

If your husband were
to come back here,

I wouldn't be able to assure
his recovery.

Please tell him so.
All right?

When we and our daughter
are grown old,

I'd like to live by the sea.

Yes.

I'd like to live a white, light house.

Yes.

From now on, I want to play
Latino music, play the bandoneon.

"Tango acaciano"!

I want to play with people
other than jazzmen.

I'm inspired by many ideas!

Good luck.

I am tired.

Shall we split up?

DIVORCE ACT

Yes.

Kaoru!

Kaoru!

What's the matter?

Yes?

"If she won't be a prostitute,

"the woman has no choice but to
become a mother." Izumi Suzuki

What's this?

I found this while cleaning up
for my move.

You're the one
who wrote this, didn't you?

One day, he brought this over,

asking me to keep it.

He said admiringly:
"She wrote such a beautiful text!"

He said you were talented,
and wanted to play a prank on you.

It's been such a long time
I was going to throw it away,

but I've heard writers
keep their manuscripts, don't they?

Did I bother you?

No, you didn't.
Thank you very much.

Then I'll leave.

- Who was he?
- What?

Who was Kaoru for you?

I loved him. That's how
I was seeing things anyway.

But it seems that for him,
I was but a fan amongst other.

I finally realized this recently.

Kaoru.

Us two,

what was it?

Kaoru.

So it's been seven years already?

Kaoru came yesterday too.

We've been together for a few days.

This is true!

Izumi.

Pull yourself together!

Ultimately, he was the one
who loved me most.

I'll never meet anyone
who'd understand me that well.

For instance, Eda didn't understand
you as well as Kaoru.

What did Eda become?

Most likely someone mundane,
with a big address book.

That's a happy song!

- Bye.
- See you soon.

Yes.

Mrs Suzuki? Tanaka speaking.
How is your book going?

I'm not making progress.

Not at all? How annoying...
What's the matter?

You don't need
to think that much about it.

You just have to relate
your memories with Kaoru Abe.

This is not the past.

This is not a memory.

It's still happening.

Still now, and maybe forever.

It can't become a past
constituted of experiences.

What does this mean?

I can't write.

I'm sorry.

At this very moment, I could see him.

I clearly saw my father.

For the first and last time,
my father's image.

He left for some place far away,
with my mother.

But where to?

It's only recently that
I began to find the answer.

"I want to become swifter
than anyone else.

"Swifter than cold,
solitude, earth, Andromeda.

"Where is it? Where is sin?"

Kaoru Abe

With:

Reona Hirota

Machizô Machida

After Mayumi Inaba's original novel

Script: Shôsei Shinma,
Izuru Deguchi

Direction: Koji Wakamatsu