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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:06,160 It was really Mike's idea to use a sperm donor. 2 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:11,160 Well, it was my low sperm count. It meant we couldn't have another child 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,060 together, and I felt responsible, really. 4 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:20,160 And our marriage had been a little rocky, and we thought that a new baby 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,159 bring us together. 6 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,480 Make us a complete family again. 7 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,980 So a friend recommended us to the doctor's sperm service. 8 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,480 I had to admit I was a bit concerned about his tagline, like a shotgun to 9 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,620 cervix or your money back. 10 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:47,120 But he was actually what we were expecting. 11 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,800 Honey, Dr. 12 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:53,380 T is here. 13 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,380 I'm just getting the sunset, hoping it's the lady. 14 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,120 Hello, you're not kind of fully expected. 15 00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:02,900 Yeah, no, it's all right. I try and make people feel comfortable, you know. It's 16 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:05,740 not every day you get a stranger's cock up you, is it? I'm sorry? 17 00:01:06,820 --> 00:01:08,480 Humour, humour, lightening the mood. 18 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,760 No, I think she meant about the cock thing. 19 00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:12,020 Yeah, yeah. 20 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:16,300 Well, insemination is where my man juice is inserted in... 21 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,500 The gash via the, oh, man missile here. 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,920 No, aren't you just supposed to just inject it? Oh, I'll be injecting it up 23 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,120 there, all right. Not Turf and Basin style, don't worry about that. 24 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,560 Yeah, I've been impregnating women for about ten years now. 25 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:38,100 A friend of mine suggested that I should make some money out of it, so last 26 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:42,620 month I got some business cards printed up and handed them out, pretty much door 27 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:43,620 to door. 28 00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:44,940 It's going. 29 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,540 Really well, surprisingly. 30 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,660 So, are you a real doctor? 31 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:54,520 Well, it's more of an honorary title, you know, but who's checking, really? 32 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,560 So, shall we do it right here? 33 00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:01,120 I mean, this table seems really sturdy. 34 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,880 They're going to have sex with you. 35 00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:04,580 Of course you can, it's easy. 36 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:08,139 Plus, I have a massive cock, so... 37 00:02:14,429 --> 00:02:17,150 This is ridiculous. I think you should leave. 38 00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:19,450 Actually, hold on, Mike. 39 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:24,450 You know, it's much more cheaper than a real doctor, so if he will do his job 40 00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:26,530 well, what are we going to lose? 41 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,130 What, old Mike? 42 00:02:32,010 --> 00:02:34,090 He wanted to have sex with my wife. 43 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:40,930 He seemed to be dedicated to his work, and honestly, I felt quite relaxed 44 00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:41,930 him. What? 45 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,080 You cannot be serious. 46 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,620 Oh, come on, Mike. 47 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,760 If it's what it takes to be happy, so I'm willing to do it. Oh, Jesus. 48 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:52,680 Fine, fine. 49 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,760 Look, I'm a professional, you know. I bought DVDs, I got them in magazines. 50 00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:01,820 Oh, but I don't think I need it. Oh, not for you. They're for him. Oh. 51 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,680 While we're going, that's it, you know. 52 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,860 And it'll be completely professional? 53 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,380 Oh, yeah, very, very professional. 54 00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:10,660 Okay, okay. 55 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,760 It's just bug. 56 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,080 Oh, yes, it is. 57 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,200 Let's get down to business. 58 00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:25,100 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not professional. 59 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,740 Oh, come on. He just needs to get home. 60 00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:30,060 Yeah, not a machine, Mike. 61 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,320 I won't think about this. 62 00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:35,080 Oh, my God. 63 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,500 Two sugars if you're making. 64 00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:56,000 I feel it's important to have fun in your work. 65 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,620 Especially mine. 66 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:03,260 A client with a happy faith always makes my cock hard and that helps when you're 67 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:04,260 blowing your beans. 68 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,290 I'm going to sit. 69 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:25,570 Oh, yes. 70 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,100 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 71 00:06:31,719 --> 00:06:33,820 Fuck yes, just like that 72 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:10,010 Do you like that, what you think? 73 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,220 I love it. It's amazing. 74 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:28,640 Fantastic. 75 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,600 Whoa. 76 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,420 Hold on. 77 00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:18,450 You're a good brother. 78 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,430 I'm going to set this fucking table. 79 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,910 Oh, yes, baby. 80 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:56,110 Yeah. 81 00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:00,270 Yeah. 82 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:02,250 Let's get on that fucking table. 83 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,550 I'm cursing at something like that. 84 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:09,510 Come here, baby. Call up my fucking buddy and set this table. 85 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:46,610 Yes. 86 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:17,840 Fucking dick. 87 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:22,740 Yeah. 88 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,520 Oh, shit. 89 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,440 Oh, yes, baby. That's nice. 90 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,160 Oh, shit. 91 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:34,960 Oh, fuck. 92 00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:36,560 That's it, baby. What the pussy? 93 00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:38,240 What the fucking pussy? 94 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,800 Let's take a minute. 95 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,890 Oh, yes, baby, kill your fucking knees. 96 00:29:34,270 --> 00:29:35,790 Oh, yes, yes. 97 00:29:36,270 --> 00:29:37,770 That's it, baby. Open your mouth. 98 00:29:37,970 --> 00:29:38,970 Oh, yes. 99 00:29:39,230 --> 00:29:40,230 That's it, baby. 100 00:29:42,730 --> 00:29:43,850 That's it, open your mouth. 101 00:29:44,530 --> 00:29:45,530 Oh, yes. 102 00:29:46,130 --> 00:29:47,130 Yes. 103 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,460 I could squeeze you in for tomorrow, come back then. How's that sound? 104 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,760 Yeah, never alone at the same time. Absolutely, darling. 105 00:30:34,340 --> 00:30:36,500 Hey, buddy, any chance of having a cheap sandwich? 106 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:37,880 What? 107 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:44,640 It's been a month. 108 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,260 He comes here every afternoon. 109 00:31:07,460 --> 00:31:09,220 But he's very professional. 110 00:31:09,460 --> 00:31:11,060 Every time he arrives on time. 111 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:12,680 Yeah, but he's still not pregnant, though. 112 00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:15,800 But, honey, these things need time. 113 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:23,040 He comes on your face, on your boobs, on your back, on your legs, in your mouth. 114 00:31:23,260 --> 00:31:29,340 Not one shotgun in your cervix. And yet, he already made a difference, a big 115 00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:31,240 difference in my life. It was so good. 116 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:32,580 I want a divorce. 8007

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