All language subtitles for the_cosby_show_s07e23_there_s_still_no_joy_in_mudville

Now you try.

Look, I don't know how well I'm going to
bowl for you guys, but I appreciate you

having me on the team. You don't need to
apologize, man. The guys are going to

be needing you. The way Cliff bowls.

Keep it up, son of mine.

Your game isn't going to get any better
upstairs, Huxtable.

Come on, loser.

No, no, don't be so hard on me, my son.

He knows his way around the bowling
alley. Yes, but after he parks the car,

still got to bowl.

I know the other team's average, and all
he has to give us is 75 points.

Well, surely the man can do that.

There's the rest of the team.

Hey, James, come on in. We got the motor
running. Cliff will be right back. See

you later again.

Alvin, I don't think you know these
fellas.

This is Alvin Thibodeau. Hi, I'm the new
bowler on the team.

Oh, you're the young doctor married to
Cliff's daughter, Sandra. That's right.

Yeah, with the twins, Winnie and Nelson.

Oh, you guys know my kids?

We should.

Russell shows us new pictures every
month.

Can they walk without falling down yet?
Sure they can.

Well, then they can take your father -in
-law's place on the team.

Alvin, this is Joe Sims. He's in the
bank business. They used to call him

Arm. And this here is Frank.

Parler. Payday Parler. Now, if you're
looking for a new card, this is your

Rubber Arm and Payday. Those are great
names.

We got those in the Negro League. Great
pitcher, great hitter. Negro League. Do

you mean to tell me that you guys played
with, like, Jackie Robinson, Minnie

Minoso, Roy Campanella?

Oh, yeah. They are the guys that they
talk about.

There are plenty that they don't talk
about, like a guy named Classy Judy

Johnson. But Hank Aaron, Willie Mays,
and Ernie Banks got their start in that

league, too. He helped make them famous.

They hit a lot of home runs off of this
man.

Hey, they're friends of mine. I gave
each one of them one home run, start

off on great careers. But I can brag
about striking out Frank Robinson.

Win. Come on, man. You know, win.

You know, I always felt like I missed
something not being born back then. You

did. You missed being 72 years old.

Hey!

All right.

What kind of outfit is that? It's an
outfit for bowling.

Wow.

I might bowl 700.

Come on, Alvin, you ride with me. I'll
tell you some more Negro League story.

Now, the same deal as last season,
right?

Oh, yes.

Of course.

Don't mind.

The man with the lowest points buys
dinner.

Okay. And Huxable, I'm going to make
sure you don't weasel out and buy us

cheapo hot dogs.

so smart. Now, audience, if you're so
smart... How come you're not rich?

Olivia?

You ladies have been asking to help me
out on the kitchen, okay? Now's your

chance. I'm preparing dinner.

Mom, can you wait one minute, please? We
just love this new quiz show.

Our first category is the 1940s. Oh, my
time.

Yeah, the olden days.

or two six -shooters backwards and claim
to be a peaceable man.

Oh, that's Cliff's favorite. Oh, yes,
okay. That's Tex Ritter. No.

No.

What hit song was attributed to a man
with a foot problem?

Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. It's,
uh... Flatfoot Fuji. No, no, baby,

please don't do that. You're confusing
me.

It's, uh... Oh, I can't love you because
your feet's too big.

No.

Flatfoot Fuji. All right, all right,
Olivia, we'll see.

And two of twos? Nothing.

bowling. She scored 77, and she was only
eight years of age with one arm and a

sling.

Which after Mr. Cliff was the best
dressed, worst bowler out there.

What does that remind you of? Clean man
homes.

Right. Third base.

Kansas City Monarchs. Best dressed
player in the league. The only man in

league to have creases in his
pinstripes. Yeah, he was the worst

ever seen.

Couldn't hit a cow with a milk truck.

The outfielders go visit their friends
in the stands.

Seventy -five.

Seventy -five. That's all we are.

Seventy -five. Russell,

I got very great sympathy for you being
the father of that man.

All we needed was a trifling seventy
-five from this man.

You threw your ball in the gutter so
many times.

The people started calling it wino.

Wino.

Let me see this, boss.

Such a pretty thing.

Looks like it's got toothpaste in it.

And you had to throw it in the gutter.

The man who drilled the hole, look at
how my thumb goes in and out. Who does

that remind you of?

Alibi Al Benson.

Take a strike and say a piece of dust
got in his eye.

Or how about that time he said he got
blinded at bat because the sun was

reflecting off the bald head of a man
sitting in a center field.

It's not the bald's fault.

I mean, what you need is a new pair of
eyes.

to rest gentlemen gentlemen remember
we're all part of a team now let's just

forget it there's always next week and
if my son doesn't become a good bowler

then at least you'll be an expert on
buying chinese food you mean he's

with us next week hey more chinese food

have some good talk about baseball.

Look at this ball.

I don't even have a proper bag for it. I
just throw it in the trunk.

In summer, it expands.

I bowl 150, 151.

In winter, it contracts.

I bowl 150, 151.

the 75.

Baseball stories?

Well, don't let's worry about the
baseball stories. Just think of the

food.

It was a real cloudy day and

Philadelphia's stars were already
behind.

by 14 runs in the third inning.

So their manager, knowing he didn't have
a chance, put on a coal miner's hat

with a lamp and then stumbles on out to
home plate and begs the umpire to call

the game on account of darkness.

That's a great story, eh? Oh, yes.

Very fine.

Pass me egg rolls, please.

And while you're at it, pass the mushew
pork.

I remember that Dad took me to 44 from
Parkside to go see the Kansas

City Monarchs. And I remember it was a
lovely Sunday.

There he goes again.

We're talking about the Kansas City
Monarchs. There was a man that pitched

them. His name was Satchel Paige. He had
a thing called the hesitation pitch.

Can you pause me?

See, now there's hesitation pitch.

See, a pitcher will throw like this,
see. Any dumplings over there?

Dumplings coming up. Sorry,

sorry, go ahead.

When the regular pitchers pitch, they
just go like this and they throw.

Any sweet and sour pork?

drop something.

So what they do is their arms go back
this way, see.

And Satchel took it on back. He took it
back. You understand?

And brought it up here and stomped two
times on the mouth.

You understand?

Now... What

did I just say?

those boxes. You planning on stealing
the food?

Hey, you can't say stealing. We're not
talking about Pep Miller. Now, there's a

man who could steal.

Pep Miller stole everything except first
base in the first inning.

Next inning, the catcher walks out.

He's got Trinity across his chest
protected.

Thou shall not steal. Please, Mr.
Miller.

Don't you get it?

Shelton, I'd steal. See, in baseball,
you can steal a base.

Hysterical.

Wake up, boy. You have dropsy? Wake up.

Fascinating, these baseball treasures of
yours.

I know very little about baseball, so
all this good fun.

Tell him the story about Roy Campanella.
Now, if you don't get the story about

Roy Campanella... Yeah.

And now, like everybody knows Roy
Campanella.

Yes. And Roy tells about this game.

It played in heavy fog.

Now, every time we hit the ball to the
outfield, nobody could see it. And Roy's

team is circling the bases and the score
is adding up.

So when they took the field, the manager
called the outfielders together and

says to them, now, here's a ball for
each of you. Now, if a fly ball

is hit your way, you cry, I've got it.
Now, don't you know the next batter hit

high fly ball up. into the fog, deep
into outfield. Now, everybody's looking,

but no one can see a thing.

Then you hear, I got it.

The runners hold up, and then
simultaneously through the fog, three

flying.

You are missing all of the fun. You
should hear some of these stories. Come

I've heard those stories before.

That's why I'm in here now.

And besides, you guys are doing what you
do best, trying to out -talk each

other. If I went there, you'd be out
trying to out -talk each other to me.

there's your fruit salad.

And I'm off for a nice, quiet walk.

Well, don't forget to come back.

Because you know who's waiting for you.

Hello, lady.

You and your friends are out there
talking about baseball, right?

Right. I was wondering, what team in
1950 were known as the WizKids?

You don't know that, Rudy?

And you do?

Yes, I do.

Philadelphia Phillies. Willie, pull a
tag, Jones, on third.

Dad, do you happen to know who Harry S.
Truman defeated in 1948?

He defeated, uh...

And you do?

Yes, I do.

Thomas E. Dewey, tell them what they
won, Frank.

Thomas E. Dewey, tell them what they
won, Frank?

Yes.

Who is Frank?

That's Thomas E. Dewey, tell them what
they won's last name.

Well, bye. I have to go finish my
homework.

S. Truman defeated who?

Thomas E. Dewey. Tell them what they
won, Frank.

Tell them what they won, Frank.

Yes.

And Frank is the last name?

Yes.

Why does he have such a long last name?

Alfred Fuji?

That's what flew you.

No. Wild Bill Elliot?

What is the matter with you?

We'll be right back after these
messages.

He told me the man was so quick that
when he cut the corners on the bases,

come back to the dugout with dirt in his
backpack.

That reminds me of the great Sir
Garfield Sobers.

A superb cricket player. The greatest
all -rounder in the world.

The Shell Shield Tournament, 1965,

the Caribbean.

Caribbean? We played in the Caribbean?

This is a great story. All right. But
you have to tell them next time. You

we promised our wives. Yeah, I better be
going, too. Elvin, you driving me? Sure

thing. Then I guess I'll go home and
teach my twins how to bowl.

Kidding, Dad.

I'm going to come back and help you
clean up, okay?

Next time, just mention the word
Caribbean.

Take care.

I'll see you, Potter.

Well, wasn't that some great stuff?

I just can't tell you how great this
thing is, man. You know, because each

gets better than the other one.

Sit down, Cliff.

Well, you know, it's getting late. We're
going to tell you some stories about

culture that transcends...

National boundaries.

Yeah, but it's getting, it's late.

We talking about cricket.

Fine legs. Square legs. Short legs.

Crickets.

Now, you should know about that.

Well, I understand, but you see, it's
late, and maybe a fortnight.

For the past three hours, everyone in
this room has heard about the great

American pastime. Now, everyone in this
room.

is going to hear about a greater part of
cricket.

Filly points. Filly mid -off. Filly mid
-on.

Cricket. Strike.

To the queen. To the queen.

Queen.

Now we will begin with the escapades of
the top five players.

And then we will move on to the greatest
matches played in the last five years

internationally in such far -flung
places as England, Australia... India,

Pakistan, New Zealand, the West Indies,
Zimbabwe, and Randall's Island in the

Bronx.

The queen. The queen.

So Crenshaw had this emery board
cleverly lodged in his visor.

And every time he was about to bowl, he
rubbed his hand across his forehead.

Just braiding the ball which distorts
its rotation.

Well, I decided to reverse the trend.

I had some itching powder under my glove
and I rubbed it on the seam.

Now Crenshaw developed this heinous
-looking rash and his friends avoided

for weeks, thinking it was contagious.

my essential equipment in my truck. And
you can see from the equipment what a

game of immense skills cricket is. I
don't doubt the skill.

I'm just saying that I don't see how you
can compare a clash of the titans like

baseball. That is exactly what I expect
to hear from someone who admires

baseball, which is like our game called
rounders.

I don't understand what's funny.

It's just that wrongness is a game
played by little children.

Well, let me tell you something. First
of all, I could play nine innings of

baseball. I could steal 23 bases, strike
out 14 people, play the outfield by

myself, go get the fly balls, make 16
double plays with nobody on it, and

play nine innings of this cricket. We
are real.

cricketers, man. We can play for days.
Of course you can play for days because

you stop to have tea and then you have
cucumber sandwiches

every five seconds to the green.

You can say that because you know there
is no cricket field nearby where we can

publicly disgrace you.

Harmon, we don't need a field to play
that game. We can play that game right

my house. That is a hollow threat.

Huh? Because I know you wouldn't damage
your possessions. No, no, there's

nothing hollow in my house. Pardon me.

There you go. All right. Now, if you all
just help me, I don't need pads for

this game.

Not if I'm going to have tea. Well, he's
going to be hurling this ball at you at

90 miles an hour. I couldn't care...
Well, no, we can't use it.

We use a tennis ball. But we're going to
play some cricket.

And every five minutes, have a cucumber
sandwich and tea to the queen.

Bring it here.

Bring it here. You ready? Yes, I'm
ready.

Come on. Okay. Here you come. No good.

You're out.

I'm not out. Yes, you can't catch the
ball, man. This is not baseball around

Yeah, but you threw the ball at me. I
had to catch the ball. No, no, no, no.

hit the ball with the back. That's why
you got the back. Well, put it across

plate. play where the ball is going
behind the man.

Come on.

I'm ready.

Hey! There we go, silly things.

Oh, boy.

I'm staying.

No, you're not. Well, I'm not out.

This time, I'm coming all the way from
Jamaica.

Oh boy.