All language subtitles for the_cosby_show_s05e11_is_there_a_hamster_in_the_house

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:27,050 Thank you. 2 00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:13,780 He's so cute. 3 00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:17,260 Are all hamsters that cute? No, I think Darren's the cutest. 4 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:18,860 Can I hold him again? 5 00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:20,140 Sure. 6 00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:22,480 Climb, Darren, climb! 7 00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:25,960 I can't take him out to play at my grandma's. Why not? 8 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,300 She has allergies. 9 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:30,320 Big red bumps that blotch out all over her face. 10 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:34,900 Oh, you little chubby little cute little thing. 11 00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:37,700 Do you think I could leave Darren here until I get back tomorrow? 12 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,940 I don't think so. My dad doesn't like any animals in the house. 13 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,160 Does he blotch out? 14 00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:45,980 No? Let me ask him. I can be very convincing. 15 00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:48,500 Go ahead and try. 16 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:54,100 Calvin, it's five o 'clock. When is your... Where's that animal? 17 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,600 Where is it? Right here. I have it. All right. 18 00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:01,740 All right. Uh, Dr. Huxel? Yes? 19 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,500 Can I ask you a question? Sure. 20 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,080 Why do you hate animals? 21 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,960 I don't hate animals. Who told you that I hate animals? 22 00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:10,930 I'd rather not reveal my sources. 23 00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:14,990 Dad, you never let us have animals. 24 00:02:15,490 --> 00:02:20,270 I love animals. That's why I don't want them in this house. 25 00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:26,070 Goldfish in this house float at the top of the bone. 26 00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:33,170 Because children who live here, they keep feeding and feeding and feeding and 27 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:36,850 then I come home and I see the goldfish. 28 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:47,440 house. A dog just lays there after not being fed or anything for two days 29 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:52,140 and says, Dr. Huxtable, my kingdom for a bowl of water. 30 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,740 Dad, I was only a little kid then. 31 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,040 Can Darren spend the night? Yeah, Dad, it's only for one night. 32 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,219 Please, Dr. 33 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:04,540 Huxtable, Darren doesn't eat anything. He has food and water in his cage 34 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,260 already. He's chubby. 35 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,620 All by himself at my house. 36 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,300 Oh, 37 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:23,760 no, no. You guys are the worst. 38 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,240 Okay, okay. 39 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:31,400 24 hours. But after that, I'm shutting the doors on Huxtable Hamster Hotel. 40 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:50,450 What are you talking about? 41 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:53,250 I was just in Rudy's room and I saw the hamster. 42 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:55,170 You never let me have a pet. 43 00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:57,830 And now you go behind my back and you do this. 44 00:03:58,390 --> 00:03:59,890 Go behind your back? 45 00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:04,370 I don't have to go behind your back to do something. If I want to do something, 46 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:05,790 I'll do it in front of your back. 47 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:09,770 That is not Rudy's pet. 48 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,890 She's hamster sitting. 49 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:14,090 Hey, what's up? How you doing? 50 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,480 afterwards when the hamster has to go back. And Rudy starts crying about how 51 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,760 much she misses it. You're gonna see her tears and you're gonna cave in. 52 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,700 Well, I have, you know, I have a fine reputation for not caving in. 53 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,220 Your sister Sandra wanted a pony. I did not cave in. 54 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:42,280 Denise wanted a monkey. I did not cave in. 55 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:49,180 You tried to get us to get a dog by using Rudy and saying she wanted one. I 56 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:52,740 not cave in. And I'm not caving in now. 57 00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:53,980 So that... 58 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,480 made you so heartless toward animals? 59 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,720 Uh, Vanessa, I'll tell you later. 60 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,320 Now, what are you going to tell somebody later what? 61 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,620 Dad, I know what happened. 62 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:09,700 Grandpa told me all about the traumatic experience you had as a kid. 63 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,700 What traumatic experience? 64 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,960 See, Vanessa, that's called repression. We learned about it in psychology class. 65 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,400 Dad is blocking the memory of it because it was so horrible. 66 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,500 Your pet bird, Charlie? 67 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,120 Oh, Charlie. 68 00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:30,140 Tell me. 69 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,520 Charlie. 70 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:34,120 See, Dad had this parakeet. 71 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:38,000 It was not a parakeet. It was a finch. 72 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:45,800 He used to open the cage and he'd fly out. He was just chirping all over the 73 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,800 place. 74 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:52,280 One day I came home and, uh... 75 00:05:54,380 --> 00:06:00,260 I was getting ready to put on my sneakers and I sat down on the bed. 76 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:03,140 What happened? 77 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,280 I heard a chirp. 78 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,660 Sort of like a muffled chirp. 79 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,640 You killed Charlie? 80 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:22,340 No, I didn't kill Charlie. 81 00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:27,510 I just sat on him. 82 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:35,750 And from that point on, I swear, whenever he would see me, 83 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:37,710 he wouldn't chirp. 84 00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:44,330 I'd come down the hallway and I'd hear him chirp, chirp, chirping away. 85 00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:50,650 And as soon as I'd come in and he'd look at me, he'd just stop chirping. And 86 00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:51,890 then he would look at me like this. 87 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,120 All of these years you've been keeping that inside? 88 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,000 You shouldn't be torturing yourself like this. You're a good man. 89 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:08,220 You never sat on any of us. 90 00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:21,220 Oh, boy. 91 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,760 Good night, Cliff. 92 00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:29,400 Good night, my darling. 93 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,320 Cliff? Mm -hmm? 94 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,020 Your leg is crushing me. 95 00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,700 Oh, yeah? 96 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,440 Well, 20 years ago, it wasn't crushing you. 97 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,640 20 years ago, your leg was a lot lighter. 98 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:54,899 Oh, yeah? 99 00:07:54,900 --> 00:08:00,880 Well, 20 years ago, you were, uh, were... 100 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,400 were not as beautiful as you are. 101 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,820 Take your hands off me, woman. 102 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:14,820 Mommy! Daddy! 103 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,300 Come in, honey. 104 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,400 I think Darren's sick. 105 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,680 He is? 106 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,640 He won't run around on his wheel. 107 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,820 No, he's not sick, dear. He's smart. He knows that running around on that wheel 108 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:29,920 is not going anywhere. 109 00:08:32,820 --> 00:08:36,720 And he sneezed. I heard him. What does a hamster sneeze sound like? 110 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:49,690 What are you talking about? I can't give that thing a check out. Yes, you can, 111 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,710 Cliff. What, do you want me to take him down to my office? 112 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,930 No, you can do it right here. Do it right here? Look after the hamster? 113 00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:59,550 Okay, fine. All right, dear, let Dad take a look at it here. 114 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:01,290 Hold Dr. 115 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,570 Hamster Huxtable here. 116 00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:09,570 Just put him right up there on the desk, and I'm sure that we can find something 117 00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:14,410 about this good little furry thing here. All right, reach down and grab him. 118 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,570 Pull him out there. 119 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:20,480 Now, this is a friend of yours, is it, ma 'am? Mm -hmm. Take the cage down, 120 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,120 please. All right. What do you think is wrong with him? 121 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,980 All right. I think he's sick. He's sick. All right. Call! 122 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,500 What's the problem now? Let's see your teeth. 123 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,700 Say, aww. 124 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,280 Awww. All right. You hold on to him there. 125 00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:38,360 Now, put him up here. Put him up here. 126 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,080 Heartbeat sounds strong. You check it out. 127 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,960 Heartbeat? 128 00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:45,180 Sounds fine. 129 00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:48,330 He seems to be okay. 130 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,630 I concur. 131 00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:51,610 Good night, ma 'am. Good night. 132 00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:53,590 Bye -bye. Thanks, Daddy. 133 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,810 You're welcome. 134 00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,670 Thank you, Mommy. Good night, Judy. Good night, Darren. 135 00:09:58,090 --> 00:09:59,090 Good night. 136 00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:02,170 Darren, didn't I tell you this was a great place to stay? 137 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,130 Cliff, that was sweet of you to examine Darren like that. 138 00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:12,990 Thank you. You are such a sensitive, good, and caring parent and a wonderful 139 00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:13,990 human being. 140 00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,110 Thank you. 141 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,800 Can I put my leg on you? 142 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,480 Okay, 143 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000 that's... 144 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,900 What? No hamster sneeze. 145 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:57,400 But you couldn't hear a hamster sneeze if it was in this room. Don't tell me. I 146 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:03,220 know, I know. A hamster sneeze, when I hear a hamster sneeze. You see, you're 147 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,440 feeling guilty about what you did to Charlie. 148 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:10,600 What do you know about Charlie? 149 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,960 Honey, everybody in the world knows you sat on that bird. 150 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,030 that house around here for them. 151 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,640 I thought I heard Darren sneeze, and he does sound a little congested, honey. 152 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:02,920 He was breathing funny before, but I didn't want to bother you. Yeah, well, 153 00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,340 you're not bothering me. I gave him a complete physical, didn't I? 154 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:06,940 What should we do? 155 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,880 First thing in the morning, we'll take him to the vet, okay? 156 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,520 He's sick. 157 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000 I knew it. 158 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,260 Carolyn's gonna hate me. 159 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,700 Carolyn's not gonna hate you. You didn't make him sick, dear. 160 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:20,600 Can we take him to the vet now? 161 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,060 Well, dear, it's 3 o 'clock in the morning. 162 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:25,220 He's sick. He needs help. 163 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:29,340 Maybe we can find an all -night clinic somewhere. We'll take him. Okay? 164 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,900 But this is an emergency. 165 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,280 We should call an ambulance. 166 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:33,640 Yeah, I'll tell you what. 167 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,720 We'll put Darren in the car, and while I'm driving, you roll down the window, 168 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,560 you put your head out, and you say, Woo! 169 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,080 Woo! Woo! 170 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,220 Okay? Now, here we go. Move it. 171 00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:46,660 Emergency. Let's go. 172 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,280 We have a sick hamster. 173 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,620 We? Oh, my daughter's in the ladies' room. She'll be out shortly. 174 00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:05,280 All right. Your name, please? 175 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,600 Dr. Cliff Huxtable. All right. And your pet's name? 176 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,940 It's Darren, but it's not our pet. He's just a guest staying at the house, and 177 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:15,320 he got sick, but we didn't do anything to him. Oh, okay. I'll just put down 178 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,600 Darren the hamster. Darren the hamster. Is this an emergency? 179 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,240 It's four o 'clock in the morning. 180 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,480 It's an emergency. 181 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,600 Take a seat, Doctor. Yes, I will. 182 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,580 What's the matter with the dog? 183 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:03,900 He's depressed. 184 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,820 Before he could do many, many tricks. 185 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,840 Stand up, Sparky. Stand up, boy. He used to do it. 186 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:28,100 You see? He used to do that on his own, like this. Just like that, on his own. 187 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,520 Now, come down now. Come down. That's a good boy. 188 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,460 Jump off. Now, he's afraid of heights. 189 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,920 Down, down, down. 190 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:40,420 He's a good boy. Now, the front legs, back legs, down. 191 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,320 Jump off, Sparky. Jump off. 192 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,540 Down, down, down. That's a good boy. Mr. 193 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,140 Irondale. Good boy. 194 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,360 How's Sparky feeling? 195 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,520 Oh, doctor, he's still very, very depressed. 196 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,020 Come with me, Mr. 197 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:57,380 Irondale. 198 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,560 How's Darren? 199 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,260 Oh, Darren is just fine. 200 00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:34,730 Thanks, I'm fine. 201 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,070 Is it all right if I pet your sea lion? 202 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:41,770 Oh, no, you better not. He hasn't slept for two days and he's a bit cranky. 203 00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:42,970 But maybe later. 204 00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,070 Okay. Keep well. Stay healthy. 205 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Let's check your breathing, Darren. 206 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,300 There's definitely congestion. 207 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:11,960 Uh -huh. I heard him sneeze. 208 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,780 Let's check Darren's throat. 209 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,960 His glands are swollen, sweetheart. 210 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,000 Doctor, she's running a fever. She? 211 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,760 Yes, she, all right. 212 00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:25,480 What I'm concerned about here, Doctor, is the possibility of pneumonia, 213 00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:29,900 bronchitis, possibly heart failure. Uh -oh. We can't be certain with that x 214 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,220 -ray. X -ray? Hamster X -rays? 215 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,620 Yeah, we do a two -part series. 216 00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,980 Really? Abdomen to back and side to side. 217 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,060 Wow. The cost is $55. 218 00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:40,820 $55? 219 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,620 Well, cost isn't the issue. 220 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:49,200 Is that in addition to the $33 for the office visit? 221 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,780 Daddy, I'll pay for it at my allowance. 222 00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:56,540 What was that? 223 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,560 That's an elephant. 224 00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:01,010 We had a circus passing through here, and she went into labor, so they brought 225 00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:01,729 her to us. 226 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,870 They're delivering a baby elephant? 227 00:17:04,369 --> 00:17:06,730 Out in the parking lot. May I go see that, please? 228 00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:08,450 Please. Would you stay here, dear? 229 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,130 Oh, boy. 230 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:14,450 Will Darren be all right? 231 00:17:14,810 --> 00:17:18,030 Well, Rudy, Darren is sick, and we're going to do everything we can to look 232 00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:20,369 after her. So let's get her ready for X -ray, huh? 233 00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:32,770 You see, the mother was out and the thing was the boy. 234 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,830 And it was 192 pounds. 235 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:41,290 Now you wait till I tell your mom about that. She thought you were something. 236 00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:00,299 How's Darren? 237 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,300 Dead. 238 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:09,200 Died while we were waiting for his $55 kiss. 239 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,360 Poor Rudy, she must be devastated. 240 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,180 It's all my fault. 241 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:19,410 Now, don't you start. Don't you be silly now. You did everything you could. I 242 00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:21,930 think I could have taken him to the vet earlier. 243 00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:23,450 Oh, honey, you didn't know. 244 00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:26,950 What do you mean I didn't know? I'm a doctor, dear. You're an obstetrician. 245 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:29,590 Obstetrician. Let me tell you what I saw. 246 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:34,710 An elephant delivered a baby out there. 247 00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:36,870 Oh, wait, Claire. 248 00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:39,010 192 pounds. 249 00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:40,930 I know you wouldn't have done that. 250 00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:44,270 Wait a minute, Cliff. The x -ray plus... 251 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,589 $65? 252 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,590 Yes, indeed. 253 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:53,690 And I also spent $17 .50 on Darren number two. You are going to buy another 254 00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:58,750 hamster and try to pass it off to Carolyn as Darren? That's exactly what I 255 00:18:58,750 --> 00:18:59,750 to do. 256 00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:02,470 Now, tell me about this elephant. 257 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,730 First of all, the father wasn't there. 258 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:12,850 And from the way she sounded, I know why. 259 00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:24,530 Slow down. Don't go so fast. You're going to get tired. 260 00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:29,670 Dad, this hamster is great. 261 00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,830 Healthy and loves to play. 262 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:34,790 Right. Do you think it looks like Darren? 263 00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:45,510 Okay. Rudy, darling. 264 00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:46,870 Carolyn, darling. 265 00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:51,770 Hi, Dr. Axelbald. Hi, Carolyn. How was your trip? 266 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:52,949 Not too bad. 267 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,130 Grandma says I could bring Darren next time. 268 00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:56,350 Hmm. 269 00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,910 Hmm. That's not Darren. 270 00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:01,190 I beg your pardon? 271 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,589 Oh, no. 272 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,770 Don't tell me Darren died and you bought me a new one. 273 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:09,150 Darren got really sick last night. 274 00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:14,380 We... Took Darren to the vet. We did everything we could, but he didn't make 275 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,100 This is the fifth time I look at my hamster with somebody and it died. 276 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,300 You had five hamsters die. 277 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,500 Yeah, and you did what all the other people did. Bought me a new hamster and 278 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,500 tried to fake me out. 279 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,480 Carolyn, why didn't you say something to us? 280 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,280 Well, what was I supposed to say? 281 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,240 What you were supposed to say to us. 282 00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:41,050 that every time I leave a hamster, it dies. So don't buy me a new one. 283 00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:43,270 Are you sad? 284 00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,410 I can handle it. 285 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,530 Every living thing has to go sometime. 286 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:47,930 That's how nature works. 287 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:53,150 Well, that's a very, very mature way to look at it. 288 00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:56,290 When people keep killing their hamsters, you grow up pretty fast. 289 00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:06,330 Nothing. Hey, son. Hey. 290 00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:10,230 When I heard about the hamster, I thought that maybe you had a kind of 291 00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:15,090 heart, seeing as how another little animal in your care fell in harm's way. 292 00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:18,690 Yeah, well, look, you have to stop telling everybody about Charlie. 293 00:21:19,090 --> 00:21:22,010 Son, you sat on the bird. 294 00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:23,290 Yeah, okay. 295 00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:28,370 I mean, it's about time you faced up to it. I have no problem facing up to it. I 296 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:33,630 sat on the bird. I sat on the bird. I sat on the bird. But I also noticed that 297 00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:36,460 the bird... He had a little chip on his beak, too. 298 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,580 And that's not my fault. He didn't look like that after I sat on him, because I 299 00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:44,200 looked at him good. Now, there's a reason why that bird had a cracked beak. 300 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:50,020 Why? You see, one day, Charlie went down into the basement and, I guess, decided 301 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,160 to take a nap in a pile of laundry. 302 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:56,380 Now, your mother didn't see him, and she put the whole pile of laundry into the 303 00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:57,380 washing machine. 304 00:21:57,940 --> 00:22:00,080 Mom washed Charlie? 305 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:08,500 It's only for a couple of minutes, and your mama heard... Uh 306 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,740 -huh. So she pulled him out just in the nick of time. 307 00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:15,040 So that's how he chipped his beak. 308 00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:19,440 No, you see, your mother wanted to revive Charlie, so she gave him an 309 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:24,540 full of brandy. And after he got that, that bird started flying willy -nilly 310 00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:26,880 around the room and crashed into the wall. 311 00:22:27,940 --> 00:22:29,100 That's what chipped his beak. 312 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:36,960 Now that I think about it, whenever he saw Mom, he just went the other way. 313 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,300 And he gave her the same look that he gave me. 314 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,500 So, I brought you something here for you. 315 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,220 I was looking through the family album, and I found this. It's a picture of you 316 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:51,360 and Charlie. Will you look at this? 317 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,500 Am I looking strong in this knicker suit? Huh? 318 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:56,920 Yes, indeed. 319 00:22:57,220 --> 00:22:58,560 With the socks falling down. 320 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,040 And look at Charlie. 321 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,300 Yeah, this is before the sitting. 322 00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:08,140 Oh, thank you, Dad. 323 00:23:08,860 --> 00:23:11,800 You know, son, I think I'd better go upstairs and talk to Rudy. 324 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,400 She could use some consoling now, too. Yeah. 325 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,680 Oh, Charlie. 326 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,340 Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip. 327 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,800 Well, you're dead now, though. 328 00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:05,730 As the show is taped before a studio audience. 25816

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.