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My favorite wife is home early.
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Goodness gracious.
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Not for long.
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00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,320
Why? I gotta run back to the office,
honey.
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00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,980
I've got a meeting with the district
attorney on the Haywood case.
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Look, this is the third time in a row
that you've had to work late working on
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those Haywoods. I'm sick of the
Haywoods. Let the Haywoods go to jail.
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No one goes to jail when they're
defended by Claire Huxtable.
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I have to lie in that bed by myself,
missing my beautiful wife. And
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I have to say, where is my Claire, my
love quilt?
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I see.
12
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:06,390
Yes. And you never have to leave our bed
to do your work. First of all, I say to
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00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:11,410
my patients, please do not go into labor
until after 3 a .m. in the morning
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because then I can slip out of the bed
and my wife will not miss me. A bold
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00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:21,970
untruth. I go up to that bed and you're
not there.
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00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:25,990
And I look over and I see a hole in the
pillow.
17
00:02:26,410 --> 00:02:31,310
And I take that pillow and I bring it to
me and I hug it.
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And I cry.
19
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:38,690
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
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00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,590
Hi. I need to ask you something.
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00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:42,489
Uh -huh.
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00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:48,410
Today at school, I told Carolyn that she
could sleep over Friday night.
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00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:49,850
And now I need your permission.
24
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:56,970
Don't you have this backwards? Aren't
you supposed to ask for permission
25
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:58,049
What for?
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00:02:58,050 --> 00:02:59,130
You always say yes.
27
00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:00,790
I'm just being polite.
28
00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:05,040
Now, Rudy, you've had a string of
friends stay over.
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00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,340
But, Mom, this is Carolyn.
30
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,560
Can she come, please?
31
00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:13,760
All right, Rudy, but this is the last
sleepover for two months, understood?
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00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,880
Understood. Mom, will you make those
baked apples you always make?
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00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,360
I might. I don't know.
34
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:23,520
And, Dad, you're going to do that funny
pirate, aren't you?
35
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,200
Everybody loves it when you do the funny
pirate.
36
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,580
Well...
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00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,840
First of all, I'm not a professional
comedian, you understand?
38
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:45,240
And I want you to know that I can just
not be funny just because
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00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,680
you bring your little raggedy friends in
here.
40
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:51,780
You know, I mean, I have to feel funny.
41
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,600
Do you think you'll feel funny on Friday
night?
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00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,660
I don't know. I just don't know.
43
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:08,740
Mom,
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00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,520
I know you're going to want to make
those baked apples.
45
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,740
And Dad, I know you're going to feel
funny Friday night.
46
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,760
All the little oranges that contributed
to Dr.
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00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:41,440
Huxtable's glass of orange juice. Wink,
wink, wink.
48
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,920
Dad, is Rudy having another sleepover?
49
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,200
Yeah.
50
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,880
Rudy is bad enough as it is. When she's
around someone else her age, she's five
51
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
times worse.
52
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,520
I don't think I want to be here.
53
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:59,200
Well, where are you going to go? I'm
going to stay over Janice tonight.
54
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:04,400
Ah, good. She stayed over here the other
night, and she owes you, so go ahead.
55
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,600
Okay. Yes, please.
56
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:09,920
There's one thing I'm going to miss by
not being here tonight.
57
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:15,200
What? The pirate. That is your funniest
bit. The only thing I like better is
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00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,200
when you do the foreign race car driver,
Pierre Varoum.
59
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:24,320
Well, I'm not too sure if I want to do
Pierre Varoum or anybody else. You know,
60
00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,420
I have to feel funny in order to do
things.
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00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,800
Well, Dad, if you don't, they're going
to be very disappointed.
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00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,580
Really? Yeah.
63
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:32,480
Bye. Okay.
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00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:34,340
Take care.
65
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:36,919
Pierre Varun.
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00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:41,320
You sit up here with these kids and do
Pierre Varun, and they don't know when
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00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:45,200
stop. If you did something funny, and
then they would just say, okay, that was
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00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,760
funny. But no, you get in a position,
they keep asking you, do it again, do it
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00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,380
again, do it again. The next thing you
know, your back is out, and they still
70
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:55,540
got plenty of energy. Like, do it again,
do it again, do it again.
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00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,880
It's ridiculous.
72
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:13,890
Dad, this is not a good day.
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00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:15,570
Look at this.
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00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:19,090
It's an English composition paper.
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00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:23,050
I was thinking of hiding it from you,
but then I said, no, you might as well
76
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,730
know the truth. Yes, I might as well.
You got a D.
77
00:06:27,130 --> 00:06:29,810
I got A's in English comp in high
school.
78
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:34,050
Look at the professor's comments. He
hated every sentence I wrote.
79
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:38,010
I have never read such muddled thinking
in my life.
80
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:47,100
too many words to express your thoughts
and don't understand the words you use.
81
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:52,380
See, Dad, I didn't think I'd have any
problems with this class. The others are
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00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,520
the killers. I've got the hardest
professors in every subject.
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00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,860
Whenever I tell my friends what teachers
I have, they say, oh, the butcher. Oh,
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00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,020
no, the assassin.
85
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,340
Dad, I'm drowning.
86
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,850
Maybe I'm not college material.
87
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:09,390
No, no, no. You're not going to talk
like that. The first day of orientation,
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00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:14,390
the dean got up. He said, look to your
left. Look to your right. One of these
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00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,430
people would not be here at the end of
the year.
90
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,750
Dad, the whole freshman class was
looking at me.
91
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:30,250
I want you to look at these red marks.
92
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,780
Make your corrections, take it back to
your professor, ask for help.
93
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:38,840
Well, he did say if anybody got below a
C, they could do their paper again.
94
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:41,680
There you go. But I have a ton of work
in my other subjects.
95
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,620
Welcome to college life.
96
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,680
All right, Dad.
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00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:47,800
I'll give it a shot. There you go.
98
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:52,100
And I'm going to tell you what I'm going
to do for you. While you're up in that
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00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:57,720
room working so hard, I'm going down to
the store, buy one of those strawberry
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00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,880
shortcakes. and bring it up to your
room, and you and I will have some
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00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,260
strawberry shortcake while you're doing
your work.
102
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:09,280
But Dad, Mom doesn't like you eating
those desserts.
103
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:16,740
I don't care what your mother doesn't
like. You understand?
104
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:23,680
When it comes to making a sacrifice, I'm
there when you throw the chips down.
105
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:25,180
Thanks, Dad.
106
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,100
Go get them.
107
00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,230
No, Frank.
108
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,250
Daddy, Alan's going to be here any
minute.
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00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:39,690
Good.
110
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110
How do you feel?
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00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,109
About what?
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00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,650
You know what I mean. You know, do you
feel funny?
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00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:50,610
Because you said you had to feel funny
to be funny.
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00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:54,130
I feel a sort of heaviness of sadness.
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00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:56,490
Dad, try.
116
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,200
Bunny, okay?
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00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,620
Carolyn! Darling!
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00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,300
Rudy, darling!
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00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,820
Come on in. Bye, Mom!
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00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,280
I'll put better smooches.
121
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,100
Yeah!
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00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,420
Hi, Dr. Huntsville.
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00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,760
Hi. I noticed that you brought your
sleeping bag.
124
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:36,130
Why? Because the last time I was here,
the other bedroom felt like sleeping on
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00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,350
rocks. And I need my sleep or I'm just
no good.
126
00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:44,330
So, how about it? About what?
127
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,230
What are you going to do to make me
laugh?
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00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:50,610
The last time I was here, you were a
riot.
129
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:54,730
Well, Dad isn't really up to it tonight.
130
00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:56,370
I think he's depressed.
131
00:09:56,990 --> 00:10:01,350
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You all have to excuse
me because I just think that the whole
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00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,310
day has sort of taken its toll on me. I
feel drained.
133
00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:07,170
Pardon me. I'm going to the kitchen to
get something to eat.
134
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,950
I'm really sorry, Carolyn.
135
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,330
I guess we're going to have to entertain
ourselves.
136
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:17,790
That's okay, darling.
137
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,930
You're not responsible for your parents.
138
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,090
Let's go to my room and play.
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00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:47,620
my ship. I'll kick you off and put you
in the sand and let the red ants eat you
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00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,660
up. You little wench.
141
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,440
G -G -G
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00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,880
I had to come down here in the first
place to get away from you two wild
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00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,640
Shouldn't you both be in bed?
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00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:28,180
It's a sleepover. We're allowed to stay
up late.
145
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,280
We're the queens of the night.
146
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:36,560
Your Highness, darling, your royal
beauty darling.
147
00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:59,450
All right, are you done? I have an
important paper to finish.
148
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:01,530
What are you writing about?
149
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:05,610
You wouldn't understand. It's college
-level material. Not for infants.
150
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:09,490
Hmm. It was a haunting, cloudy day.
151
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:14,010
One that conjured up images of destiny.
152
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:18,630
Huh? See, I told you. You wouldn't
understand it.
153
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:23,210
It sounds like you're trying to impress
your teacher with big words. Well, that
154
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,210
never works.
155
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:29,840
And how do you know?
156
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,520
My dad's an editor of a newspaper.
157
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,180
He always says these new reporters, when
they're right, keep it simple.
158
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:39,960
Only people with small minds use big
words.
159
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:47,860
Look, I was asked to write about a
personal experience, and I'm writing
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00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,060
first day of college.
161
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,920
I'm trying to capture how scared I was
when I first arrived on campus.
162
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:56,740
Why don't you just say, I was scared?
163
00:13:57,489 --> 00:14:02,610
Because that's not descriptive enough.
I'm trying to paint a picture of my
164
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,470
I know what you mean about fear.
165
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:08,310
I once took my little cat, Maple, on a
Ferris wheel.
166
00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:10,870
Whoa, was she scared.
167
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:15,910
Yeah, well, we're not on a Ferris wheel.
168
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,610
So will the two of you kindly leave me
to write?
169
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:20,830
Okay. Carolyn, come on.
170
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,110
Let's go upstairs.
171
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:42,560
When I stepped on the campus for the
first time, I was afraid.
172
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:50,780
I felt like a cat on a ferris wheel.
173
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:14,260
Looked into the air and said, We're
going to eat your house.
174
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,040
With the chimney.
175
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,200
Well,
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00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,140
you're a sponge brain.
177
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,360
Well,
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00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,400
you're a double sponge brain supreme.
179
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:26,680
I'm going home.
180
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:28,980
Go out of here.
181
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:31,940
I don't really care.
182
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,420
Wake up. It's an emergency.
183
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,920
Okay. Make sure she's fully dilated.
I'll scrub up.
184
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:59,080
What are you doing in here?
185
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,400
How'd you get in here? What's going on?
186
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,839
Rudy keeps taking and she's being mean
to me and I hate her.
187
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,319
What is going on?
188
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:11,200
She hates Rudy.
189
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:12,839
Oh.
190
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:21,260
And get in the bed that you're in and
hate her until about 8 .30.
191
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,680
And then I'll be glad to take you home,
okay?
192
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,920
No, I can't spend another minute here.
Call my mommy, please, please. I'm very
193
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:34,400
unhappy. Yeah, okay, okay. I'll call
your mom. All right. Okay. All right.
194
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,720
I'll go pack and meet you downstairs.
195
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,240
Yes, yes.
196
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,160
Yes, yes, yes.
197
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:42,960
What are you doing?
198
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,020
I have to call Mrs. Gregory.
199
00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:50,270
I tell her that her daughter wants to
come home. Please, have a good day.
200
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:52,730
Oh,
201
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:57,950
Mr.
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00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:05,370
Gregory, how you doing? Yeah, your
daughter just came in here and said,
203
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:09,730
Rudy's being married. Can you come in
here, please, please?
204
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,730
So, would you all please put the light
on out front?
205
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,700
and I'll drive by and throw her out the
window.
206
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:19,900
Yeah.
207
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,280
Okay, huh?
208
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,820
Do the pirate for you.
209
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,480
You want me to do the pirate for you?
You're a grown man.
210
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,280
Arr, why aren't you going to sleep?
211
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,220
here to take you home now. Come on.
212
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:04,060
I said, I'm ready to take you home.
213
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,279
Here we go.
214
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,500
I don't want to go home.
215
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,060
I changed my mind.
216
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:11,720
Yeah, but you see, 30 seconds ago, you
were in there.
217
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,220
I hate Rudy and I want to go home.
218
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:20,220
But when I got back to the room, she
apologized.
219
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,320
She's my best friend.
220
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,060
Say something.
221
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:36,040
The next time you come in my room and
you wake me up and tell me you want to
222
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,340
home, I'm going to give you 50 cents so
you get the bus.
223
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,740
This friend Carolyn woke me up three
times to take her home.
224
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,600
Well, did you see what they did to the
kitchen? Yes, I'm the one who cleaned
225
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,780
kitchen up, and I also had to clean up
about 400 pieces of balled -up
226
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:21,320
composition paper.
227
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:25,260
Sorry about that, Dad. I was up all
night rewriting this paper.
228
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:29,280
Went down to NYU this morning, lit it
under the professor's door.
229
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,720
He was there, Dad.
230
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,700
He read it while I waited.
231
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:37,380
Yeah. Look, only half... of the red
marks that were on the other paper. Now
232
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,039
you're cooking.
233
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:42,860
He said if I made my ideas clearer and
more direct, I could probably get a C.
234
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,700
A C, it will be beautiful.
235
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,500
You mean you'd be happy with a C?
236
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:53,180
Of course I'd be happy with a C. This is
what is known as a hard C.
237
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,560
You understand?
238
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:59,440
I would take a hard C over a soft A any
day.
239
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,590
Dad, by the end of this year, I'm going
to be pulling in hard A's.
240
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:08,290
I'm just too scared of you, boy.
241
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,690
Daddy!
242
00:21:14,630 --> 00:21:16,250
All right, I'll take you home.
243
00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:22,630
Presenting the Darling Sisters,
America's sweethearts.
244
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,910
Well, now, don't you all just look
lovely?
245
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,370
Thank you.
246
00:21:30,430 --> 00:21:35,070
And is it a... This your mother's makeup
and jewelry you have on?
247
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:38,490
Yes. I don't want to be around here when
your mother finds out.
248
00:21:38,890 --> 00:21:40,350
We're not worried at all.
249
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,590
Come on, darling.
250
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:48,070
Let's go to the mall.
251
00:21:49,730 --> 00:21:52,350
You look lovely, Mrs. Hexagon, darling.
252
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:54,210
Well, thank you, darling.
253
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,430
The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.
20607
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