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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Here you go, Mom. I brought you some
warm milk and cookies.
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Thank you, sweetheart.
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I thought it might help calm you down.
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I am calm.
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Really? I wouldn't be calm if my son
were in jail.
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Vanessa, Theo is not in jail. He's just
at the police station. And we really
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don't know the whole story, so let's not
jump to conclusions.
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Okay.
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Mom? Yes?
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Is Theo still in jail?
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Theo is not in jail. He's only been
arrested.
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Theo has not been arrested. Theo is not
in jail. He's just at the police
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station. Why?
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Because he was in a car with a friend,
and the friend was driving a little too
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fast, and the friend only had a
learner's permit.
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But I don't get it. What was Theo doing
in a car?
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I mean, I thought you and Dad ground him
last week for cutting class.
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We did, Vanessa, but we gave him
permission to go to the library.
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But didn't he call from a police station
in Coney Island?
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That's right, he did.
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And for his sake, I hope there's a very
good library in Coney Island.
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don't think you should concern yourself
with this this is a matter between theo
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and your father and me so let's just say
good night yeah good night rudy and
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good night vanessa i'll stay up and keep
you company too that is not
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why you want to be down here miss nosy
and miss busybody come on let's get up
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let's move it let's go oh man we're
going don't worry rudy we'll be able to
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the yelling in our bedroom
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Sorry, Mom.
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Theo, I don't know that I'm going to be
able to accept that apology until I've
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heard all the facts.
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Well, Tom Lauch picked me up in his
dad's new car to go to the library.
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Tom Lauch has no driver's license. He
has a permit.
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He has a permit.
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They were only two people in the car.
Two permits driving around the city
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at people.
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Tom promised he'd drive real slow.
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Theo, please. You know you're supposed
to have a licensed driver in the car
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you. What? I know, but we weren't going
very far.
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Theo, Coney Island is ten miles away.
Did you even get near the library?
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Sure. We went in, we put our books on
the tables and our jackets on the
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and then we went out to get a hot dog.
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I see. So the library was the cover -up
for this trip to Coney Island.
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There you go.
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Yeah. And it was on the way back when
Tom accidentally ran through the red
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light. Uh -huh.
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See, that's when we heard the siren.
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So I turned around and I saw a police
car coming at us with his lights
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So I said, uh -oh, it's the cops.
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That must have freaked Tom out because
he hit the pedal and we were off.
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You tried to outrun the police?
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Well, don't worry, Mom.
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I had my seatbelt on the whole time.
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Besides, the chase only lasted three
blocks.
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Tom started to slow down, and then the
policeman got on the loudspeaker and
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ordered him to pull over.
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Well, that kind of freaked him out some
more because he jerked the steering
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wheel, he jumped the curb, and hit a
stop sign.
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Theo, I think I've heard enough.
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Give me and your father a few minutes to
discuss your punishment, and then you
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come back down here and talk to us.
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Yes, Mom.
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Hey, Dad.
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Am I really in that much trouble?
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Let me tell you something.
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We go into the kitchen.
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You can go out. You can get my car.
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You can drive backwards to Coney Island.
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Run over the hot dog man.
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And two stop signs and you won't be in
any more trouble than you are now.
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It doesn't get easier, does it?
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I can't remember ever being angrier with
one of these children.
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You'd have been angry if you'd gone down
to that police station.
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I went down there and I said to the
sergeant at the desk, I said, I'm here
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pick up Theodore Huxtable.
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He said, oh, the youth we apprehended.
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I thought to myself, when we had this
child, we were going to call him many
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things in the future.
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Going to call him a great citizen, a
fantastic student, but not certainly.
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The youth we apprehended.
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Then he found out I was a doctor. And he
said, people who come from successful
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families usually have this sort of
problem because the parents are too busy
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doing what they do in their professional
lives. They don't have time to spend
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with the children.
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And then he handed me this pamphlet
which says, troubled youth begins at
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Perfect. Theo breaks our roof and you
get the lecture. I don't know, Cliff.
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Something has gotten into him lately.
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Well, I think it all started when he
began to shave.
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00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:13,620
You know, if I tell Theo to do
something, I have to go behind him and
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he's done it. I have to tell him ten
times before he does anything.
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Do you know he took my razor and used my
last blade?
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Yesterday, he took my car with a friend
who had the driver's license, and that
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was okay.
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All I asked was that he put some gas in
the car. I even gave him the money to do
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it. Came back, didn't put the gas in the
car, never gave me the money back. I
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ended up running out of gas on my way to
work.
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Let somebody take your last blade and
not tell you about it.
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Are you listening to me?
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Yeah, yeah, I was listening.
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You know about the gas in my car.
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What about it?
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You see, you're not listening to me.
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Why would you say you were listening to
me if you weren't listening?
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Oh, because I was thinking about the
boy. Well, I was talking about the boy.
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I thought you were talking about your
car.
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I was talking about what the boy did to
my car. If you'd been listening, you'd
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have known that.
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Yeah, well, you weren't listening to me.
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Yes, I was. What did I say? Oh, Cliff,
you knew what you said.
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There you go. You were listening to what
I say, and I was talking about the boy
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and shaving his neck my face.
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Cliff, I could have been stranded
somewhere. Are you trying to tell me
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nick on your face is as important as
your wife being stranded somewhere at
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on a country road alone by herself in
the pouring rain and the howling winds?
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What day was all this going on?
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I was just trying to make a point.
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Yeah, well, your point is untrue and
fabricated.
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So you think a little nick on your face
gives you a point?
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Please. You nick your face all the time.
You would nick your face without a
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00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:03,650
razor. Nick, nick, nick.
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Listen, I don't think you have a reason
to be upset with me.
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You know, you weren't even listening.
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If you'd been listening, you would know
that I should be upset with you, and
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just maybe you should be upset with me.
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Well, I certainly don't need anybody to
tell me when I should be upset with
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somebody. I mean, if I decide to get
upset with somebody, I will make that
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decision to be upset with somebody.
There's nobody going to tell me when to
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upset with somebody. I get upset when
I'm ready to get upset.
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And I'm upset now.
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Uh, Mom?
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Dad? What do you want?
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You told me to come down for my
punishment.
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Well, I don't think this is the right
time, son.
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00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,320
Well, you are going to give it to me
tonight, aren't you?
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00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,740
I wouldn't be so eager if I were you,
Theo.
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Oh, I'm not eager, Mom.
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It's just I wanted to get it over with
tonight.
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Why? Well, you know, my grounding ends
on Saturday.
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And I was kind of hoping maybe I could
go to a party at Lana's house.
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You have the arrogance to stand there
and to inform me that you are going to a
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party when your father just brought you
home from the jailhouse?
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I
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think
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that boy has lost his mind.
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Sandra and Denise didn't act like this
at his age. Why is he like this?
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He's a boy, and boys go through that
kind of thing.
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Are you saying that this is natural for
a boy?
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That we should excuse this behavior
because he's male?
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00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,290
That's not what I'm saying.
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00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:03,930
Well, then what are you saying?
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I'm not saying anything. Whatever you
say, that's what is going to be said.
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00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,720
No, no, no. Please don't do that. Please
don't do that. Don't patronize me like
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that. Whatever you say is going to be
what's said, and that's fine. That's not
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right.
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00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,440
Now, you should say what you want to
say. You should say what you're saying,
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don't say that.
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That's so beneath you.
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Why don't we talk about whatever it is
we're angry about in the morning and get
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some sleep, okay? I don't think either
of us will be going to sleep anytime
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soon. Why not?
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Because when we married, we promised
we'd never go to sleep angry.
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We were younger then. We didn't need as
much sleep.
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All right, I'll tell you what.
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Let's count to three and then stop being
angry, okay?
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00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,870
That is not going to get it. There has
to be an apology first.
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00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:12,490
Okay, I accept your apology.
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00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,640
No, no. It is you who owe me the
apology.
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For what?
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For getting us both upset.
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00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,700
Well, you got us both upset first.
Where's my apology for that?
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00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,600
Are you suggesting that I'm the one who
owes you an apology?
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You better believe it.
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00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:30,880
Well, if that's what you're saying, I'm
just saying one more thing.
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00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:34,060
What? We are going to sleep angry.
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00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,060
Don't bother me.
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00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,280
Don't bother me. Don't bother you. Don't
bother me.
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I didn't want the covers anyway.
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And another thing is, I was in the Navy,
and I slept closer than this to the
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00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:57,050
enemy.
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00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:13,490
Ooh, here's a story about two high
school guys who robbed a grocery store.
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Is Theo's name in it?
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00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,890
No, I don't think he did anything that
day.
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00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:19,350
Keep looking.
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00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:22,010
I know it's in your someplace.
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00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,630
Janet says that every day they publish a
list of everyone in the city who's been
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00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:28,030
arrested. Maybe Theo used a fake name.
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00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:30,010
Yeah, I look under John Doe.
189
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,550
Then try Theo Doe.
190
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:35,270
Hey. Theo, what name did you give the
police?
191
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:36,570
What are you talking about?
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00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:39,290
You know, when they booked you. They
didn't book me, Vanessa.
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00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,530
I waited at the police station until Dad
came to pick me up.
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00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:44,110
What did Mom and Dad do to you?
195
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:47,110
Nothing. They got into an argument and
forgot all about me.
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00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,550
They must all be at it. I haven't got my
punishment yet.
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00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:55,190
Boy, when they stop arguing, you are
going to get it. Yeah, you're a goosey
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00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:59,490
I bet they'll send Theo to a juvenile
delinquent farm.
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00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:03,430
He's probably going to have to break
rocks with a hammer.
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00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:06,470
I'm out of here.
201
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,390
Okay, Rudy, we have a choice.
202
00:13:08,770 --> 00:13:12,190
We can either go to school now, or we
can stay here and find out what they're
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00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:12,989
arguing about.
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00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:13,990
Let's stay here.
205
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,130
I'm leaving.
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00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,410
We're going to stay in that pool.
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00:13:21,089 --> 00:13:22,270
Hey. Hey, Dad.
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00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:24,510
Dad, you look tired.
209
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:25,930
Yeah, I am.
210
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:27,170
Were you up late?
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00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:28,830
Yeah. Baby?
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00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:30,850
No. Reading?
213
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,210
No.
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00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:33,470
Arguing? Rudy!
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00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:37,290
You weren't going to find out anything
if you had questions.
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00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:42,050
Dad, I'm sorry Rudy brought it up. If
you don't want to talk about it, it's
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00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:47,170
okay. Your mother and I were arguing,
but we're in love, and people do that
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time to time.
219
00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:49,330
When's it going to be over?
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00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,340
Oh! Soon, I'm sure.
221
00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,360
Maybe you should give Mom some flowers.
222
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,580
Grow up like that.
223
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,380
I think you should buy her a dog.
224
00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:02,340
And what kind of dog do you think your
mother should get?
225
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,280
A Cocker Spaniel with the red collar.
226
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:10,960
Isn't there a school bus waiting for you
guys? Yeah, Dad. Come on, Rudy, I'll
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00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:11,960
walk you. Okay.
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00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,740
Remember, Dad, you're just a dog away
from this thing over here.
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00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:20,600
I understand that, you know. I want to
thank you for your suggestions, because
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00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,040
they were both enlightening and
delighting.
231
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:27,860
Morning, hon.
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00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,160
Good morning.
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00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:30,360
Are we still arguing?
234
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,740
I don't know.
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00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:34,719
Are we?
236
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,120
It doesn't look like it.
237
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,380
I gave it a lot of thought, Cliff, and I
think I know where we went wrong.
238
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,400
See, we were really angry with Theo, and
then we got upset with each other and
239
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,980
tried to force each other to apologize.
240
00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:47,990
Yeah, I know. We were silly.
241
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:52,550
Well, I have come up with a way to end
this argument, and no one has to say I'm
242
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:56,010
sorry. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Good. We're going
to write on these pads, we're going to
243
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:59,270
write down the things that the other did
that made us upset.
244
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:03,090
And when we're finished, we'll exchange
lists, take a look at them, and then
245
00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,230
we'll promise never to do those things
again.
246
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:09,270
Okay. You go ahead, write first.
247
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,610
Let's go together.
248
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,630
Together? All right. Here we are.
249
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,119
I'm finished.
250
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,720
Uh -huh. You're still writing.
251
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,640
That's because I'm not finished yet.
252
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:43,560
I thought you were finished.
253
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,040
I know, but I just thought of some other
things.
254
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,260
You're writing out of spite.
255
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,940
No, I'm not, dear. Yes, you are. Give me
this, Pat. Let me see this.
256
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,540
I didn't like it when Claire did.
257
00:15:57,740 --> 00:16:00,960
And then she said, Cliff, what is this?
You haven't completed a sentence.
258
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,300
Well, you fill in the blanks. You know
what you did wrong.
259
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,760
You see number five here on my list? Pig
-headed. That's you. Yeah, well, okay.
260
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,420
So I'll show you number nine on my list.
261
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,360
You know what number nine is?
262
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:18,540
Gives us dumb things to do. That's what
number nine is.
263
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:19,980
Oh, Cliff.
264
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,400
The problem is that you don't like
newness and innovation, and you can't
265
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:30,040
trying to be honest with you. And until
you can, this argument is still on.
266
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:31,840
Good day.
267
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,840
Good day?
268
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,360
It's morning.
269
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,720
That's how much you know.
270
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:41,040
It's not good day, it's good morning.
So, make that number ten.
271
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,400
Blood pressure's right on, and that's
just fine.
272
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:56,060
Dr. Huxtable? Mm -hmm?
273
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,740
I hate to be critical, but I'm just not
enjoying this visit very much. Oh,
274
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,840
really? No, I was hoping you'd be
funnier.
275
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,119
Oh, uh -huh. I'm sorry.
276
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,660
You know, every time I come in here, you
make me laugh.
277
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:12,200
It really takes my mind off things. But
today, today you've been all business.
278
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:15,099
I've barely cracked a smile. I don't
even think I should pay for this visit.
279
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:17,760
Hey, I know.
280
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,020
Can't you tell me the one about the
stork with the bricked up chimney?
281
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,700
I love that voice you do for the stork.
282
00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:25,119
Maybe next time.
283
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,099
What? Is there something wrong with me?
284
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,880
No, no, no. You're fine.
285
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,500
You're absolutely fine.
286
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,980
Then what is it? Is it a personal
problem?
287
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,620
Do you have a fight with your wife?
288
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,460
That's it. I can tell.
289
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,840
My wife and I had an argument.
290
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,240
I knew it.
291
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,420
Well, it's all your fault.
292
00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:51,500
It's my fault.
293
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,520
Because you're a man, and in my
experience, it's always the man's fault.
294
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,300
You see, you guys have these hormones
that make you do strange things.
295
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:06,500
Like buying sports cars when you're
middle -aged, or belching at the table
296
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,040
saying, wasn't that a good one, honey?
297
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:15,400
To a woman, it may be belching, but to a
man, it's a mating call.
298
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:20,250
Get out of here. See, I made you laugh.
299
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:24,110
Oh, that doesn't count. You tricked me.
Yeah, well, you're still going to pay
300
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:25,110
this bill.
301
00:18:30,450 --> 00:18:31,450
Mr.
302
00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:39,250
Hanson, I agree. An out -of -court
settlement would be best. Please have a
303
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:42,850
But, quite frankly, I find your client's
offer unacceptable.
304
00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,970
Well, we think $75 ,000 is more than
fair.
305
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:51,030
Well, $75 ,000 will hardly compensate
for the loss of income due to your
306
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:54,630
client's delay in shipping. I think
we're being overly generous by offering
307
00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:55,630
anything at all.
308
00:18:58,030 --> 00:18:59,370
Mary, I'm in conference.
309
00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:01,490
Oh, yes?
310
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,330
Yes, of course, I'll take the call.
Please put it through.
311
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,730
Excuse me just one moment, please.
312
00:19:07,190 --> 00:19:08,310
Hello, sweetness?
313
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:13,010
My secretary said that this is
important.
314
00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:14,550
Have you got a minute?
315
00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:15,910
Yes.
316
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,640
that. Yes, I recall that.
317
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,840
Remember when we first danced to it?
318
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:35,500
Yes, I recall that also.
319
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,320
Listen, I don't like it when we argue.
320
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:39,680
I concur.
321
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,920
Can we make up?
322
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,900
Perhaps. I love you. I know.
323
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:46,920
Do you love me?
324
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,220
Yes.
325
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,460
Let me hear you say it.
326
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,510
I will have to defer on that request.
327
00:20:00,070 --> 00:20:03,030
Why? I'm in a conference, doctor.
328
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,330
Say it in Spanish.
329
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:10,670
I like
330
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:20,350
it,
331
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,970
but I don't think you said I love you.
332
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,430
Correctamente, señor doctor.
333
00:20:27,620 --> 00:20:32,480
Okay, but you don't have to say it, but
I do want you to dance with me.
334
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,300
I don't think I should do that. Are you
sitting at your desk?
335
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:42,920
Well, yes, yes, I am. And I'm sitting at
my desk, see? So I want the two of us
336
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,340
to desk dance together.
337
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:48,340
I beg your pardon?
338
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,520
Come on, Claire, you know you can do
that.
339
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,880
No.
340
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,460
Don't let me dance by myself.
341
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:56,580
All right.
342
00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:20,010
Okay. I'm very sorry, but I really must
be going now.
343
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,970
Okay. I'll see you at home?
344
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:23,490
Yes. Bye.
345
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,890
very much. It's been very lovely talking
to you.
346
00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,730
I really am sorry.
347
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:33,470
That was a call from my most important
client.
348
00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:34,690
Yes.
349
00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:37,050
I always take calls from my wife, too.
350
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:19,100
Oh, hi.
351
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,760
Oh, boy.
352
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,580
Looks like you two aren't arguing
anymore.
353
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,120
That's right, and now that we've
finished, we can concentrate on your
354
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:34,240
punishment. Why don't you go up to your
room, and we'll be up to see you
355
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,500
shortly. Okay.
356
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,280
Okay. But you will remember to give it
to me this time, won't you? Oh, don't
357
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,279
worry.
358
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,280
We'll see you later.
359
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:52,800
What I feel is that he understands
exactly what he's done wrong, and
360
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:57,420
it's all right to let him go to Lana's
party Saturday.
361
00:22:58,740 --> 00:23:00,220
Okay. All right.
362
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:02,840
We can ground him for a week after that.
363
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:10,220
You know, there's still something we
have to say
364
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:11,220
to each other.
365
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,920
I know. Yes.
366
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,760
I'll go through. No, no, no.
367
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,720
On the count of three, we'll say it to
each other together.
368
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,520
One. Two.
369
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:32,920
Three. I'm going to get some dinner.
370
00:23:44,879 --> 00:23:47,680
Thank you.
371
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,560
The Cosby Show is taped for studio
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