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Thank
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you.
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Thank you.
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home yet?
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No. Are we going to be late for
Vanessa's play?
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We better not be. I'll give him three
more minutes, then we're going to leave
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without him.
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Ah, my fine fellow patrons of the arts,
are we ready for a rousing evening of
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musical theater?
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Yeah! All right.
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Cliffio isn't here yet. Did you tell him
to come straight home after that cross
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-country meet?
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Yeah, I told him six o 'clock, but maybe
the meet ran late.
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Okay, well, I'll write him a note to
tell him we left, and we really should
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going. There you go.
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to be left in the place.
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We're going to whistle at her when we
see her on stage.
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No, no, you can't whistle. Please, sit
down, all three of you. Let me tell you
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something about when you go to the
theater.
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You must comport yourself in the proper
manner. Do you understand?
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You sit tall like this when you're at
the theater.
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Yes. Relax a little. That's it. And when
we see something we like, we don't,
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that's all, we don't stamp our feet. We
paw like this.
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And when we say bravo.
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Bravo.
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Fantastic.
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Fantastic.
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Marvellous.
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Marvellous. I say.
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I say.
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Okay, Cliff, I finished the note.
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Bye.
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I'm sorry we had trouble coming off of
the crack meet. Yeah, it was a mess.
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We were about to leave you. Let's go.
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Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Where are you
going? Your mother said we're leaving.
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Yeah, but can we get something to eat
first?
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Doesn't the coach take the whole team to
Circus Burger after every meet?
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Yeah, but we're still hungry.
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Starved. All right, you've got five
seconds to grab something out of there
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you can have in the car, and then let's
go.
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And I'm counting. One.
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Now, how can those boys just come from
Circus Burger and still be hungry? Dear,
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you run two and a half miles. You
need... Something to supplement the
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on, you guys. Let's go. We're going to
be late.
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I'm glad you didn't give him ten
seconds.
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Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the
first lady of musical theater, the
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inimitable, the indestructible, the
unsinkable Dame Vanessa Vegetables.
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I have seen many, many productions of
South Pacific, but this was by far my
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favorite. Thank you. I had no idea there
was so much talent in your ninth grade
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class.
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Thank you, Mom. It's just too bad you
missed the first part of my song, Theo.
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Vanessa, I already said it. I'm sorry I
made us late. I did everything I could
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to get home on time. I even left Circus
Burger without eating.
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But you walked in in the middle of my
only number, just as I was saying,
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Pourquoi? Pourquoi?
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Vanessa, it was in French. Nobody cared
what you were saying anyway.
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Wait, we've had a wonderful evening.
Let's not ruin it. All right, Dad. I'm
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going upstairs to take my makeup off.
Thank you. Can I watch?
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Oh, sure. I'll tell you what it's like
being adored by hundreds of people.
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I'm going to get something cold to
drink.
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Son, take it easy on us. We only have
five quarts of milk and two gallons of
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juice left.
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My head.
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What? Oh, my head.
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I don't mind having to listen to some 14
-year -old singing and dance, but when
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they pick up a musical instrument there,
it tears me apart.
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It sounded like somebody had sat back on
a rocking chair and caught 18 cats by
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the tail.
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00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:50,270
You know, Chris, you just said something
that's got me puzzled. Huh? Well, now,
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when Phil... came home this evening. He
was 15 minutes late. He told us he had
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eaten at Circus Burger, but he was still
hungry. Just now he told Vanessa that
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he didn't eat anything after the track
meet. Dear, I told you, you run two and
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half miles and all the oxygen doesn't
get to your brain.
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Sometimes you can't remember if you ate.
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I think there's something else going on
here besides a lack of oxygen, and I'm
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going to ask him about it. But dear,
what about my head?
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It'll be here when I get back.
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Well, I don't know about that.
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It might go upstairs.
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Theo.
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Don't worry, Mom. I'll save some for
breakfast.
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Thank you.
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Theo, didn't you tell us that you had
eaten at Circus Burger?
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Well, no. I told you we went to Circus
Burger. I didn't say anything about
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eating. You were at Circus Burger and
you didn't eat anything?
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Well, I couldn't. Coach told everyone to
get on the bus before we got our
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burgers. Well, that sounds odd. Why
would the coach make everybody get on
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bus before they could get anything to
eat?
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Well, they didn't do it to everybody.
Only some of us didn't get to eat. How
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many? Two.
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Me and Cockroach.
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Hey, Theo.
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Come here.
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Come here.
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Yeah? Only you and Cockroach?
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Yeah, it was strange.
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You see, Cockroach and I were in line
waiting for our burgers. When all of a
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sudden Coach comes in and yells,
everybody, that's it. Get your things.
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00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,419
getting out of here.
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00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,680
Well, that doesn't sound like proper
behavior for a coach.
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00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,020
Well, I know, Dad.
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00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:14,000
But you see, this is kind of a difficult
time for him right now. It is?
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00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,020
Yeah. You see, some of the guys on the
team are saying that he's having
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problems. You know, husband and wife
stuff.
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00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:23,440
So I guess it all just built up until he
just lost his mind.
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Well, do you think we ought to call
somebody who can talk to the coach?
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00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,940
Well, no. I wouldn't do that. You see,
coach is still doing a great job, and we
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all feel loyal to him. We're willing to
wait until he gets over his emotional
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problems. I see.
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Well, I'm beat. Good night.
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Mm -hmm.
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Cliff, there is something going on here.
And Theo's not telling us the whole
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story.
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If you don't mind, as far as I'm
concerned, the boy was 15 minutes late.
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00:06:58,630 --> 00:07:02,010
know. To a father, he was just 15
minutes late.
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But to a mother, why was he late?
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Mr. Loken?
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Right, your principal.
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Did you tell Mom and Daddy he called?
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No. Good.
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You must be in big trouble.
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You didn't tell them, okay?
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And please don't tell anybody about
this.
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Hello, everybody.
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00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:38,060
Hi, Mom. Hello.
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00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,520
Were there any phone calls?
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00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,580
Yes, there was one for you.
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Thank you. And one I'm not supposed to
tell you about.
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00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,160
You can keep that one for yourself, but
who called me?
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00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,960
Aunt Sarah. She said she'd call you back
later.
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00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,360
Okay, thank you.
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How'd I do?
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Good, thanks.
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But I just hope Mom doesn't look at the
refrigerator.
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00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,760
Why? That's where I left the message for
you that Mr. Lucas called.
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00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,720
Hi, Mom.
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00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,480
Hi. How's the water?
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00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:11,940
Good. Good.
139
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,840
I think I'm going to get something cold
to drink.
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00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,500
I'll get it for you. No, I'll get it.
Drink your water.
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00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:20,420
Hi, son.
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00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:21,249
Hey, Dad.
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I was crack practice today.
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Oh, good. Excellent.
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Coach behave himself today?
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Yeah, he was fine.
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00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:30,410
Oh, by the way, Theo, did you get the
message that Mr. Lukens called for you?
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Who? That message that you just stuck in
your pocket.
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00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:37,429
Oh, yeah.
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00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,909
Thanks. Mr. Lukens, the principal?
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What's that call about?
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I don't know, Dad.
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Maybe he wants to tell you that you've
made the honor roll.
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Maybe he wants to tell you that he wants
you to speak at the graduation.
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Hey.
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00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:00,160
Theo, could this call be in any way
related to your lateness yesterday?
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00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,280
You know, I know what it is.
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00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,440
Coach got in trouble for what he did at
Circus Burger, and Mr. Lucas is calling
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me to check the story.
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00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,200
Well, then you should call him back on
his phone right now.
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00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:12,060
This phone?
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00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,420
Yeah, I mean, there's no reason why you
wouldn't want to use this phone, is
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00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:19,400
there? Well, no, but it's a Saturday,
and it's Mr. Lucas' day off.
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00:09:19,989 --> 00:09:23,370
Theo, if anything happened yesterday,
now would be a very good time to tell us
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00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,289
about it.
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00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:25,370
But there's nothing to tell you.
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00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:27,890
So you're saying we know everything that
we should know?
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About yesterday.
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00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,330
Yes, you know everything you should know
about yesterday.
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00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:33,430
You're sure?
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00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:36,930
Mom, why are you all of a sudden so
suspicious of me? I mean, I was a couple
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00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:37,809
minutes late.
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I don't get it. You know, I'm 17. You
know, I'm an adult.
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And you're treating me like I'm some
kid.
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00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:53,430
Theo is not telling us the whole truth,
and I'm going to find him out. He wants
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00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:54,430
to be treated like an adult?
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00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:57,110
Okay, I'll treat him like he's an adult.
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00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:58,350
What are you going to do?
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You will see.
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00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,610
Hey, I'm an adult. You can tell me.
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00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:05,210
You'll see when you're supposed to see.
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00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:08,550
I'm 50 years old.
183
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,750
Hey, Dad.
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00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,340
Hope you two are hungry tonight.
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00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,180
Decided to make a special dinner for
you. Really? Yeah.
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00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:29,060
Pancakes, french fries, bacon burger
dogs.
187
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,380
Whoa, for dinner? Count me in.
188
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,459
Yes, indeed.
189
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:35,840
Why are you doing all this? Well, son, I
have a feeling that your life is going
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00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,160
to change very soon.
191
00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:40,580
I want you to remember the good things
about living here.
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00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,440
Oh, okay.
193
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,120
Theo, just the person I'm looking for.
194
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,259
What's up?
195
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,760
Well, See, I'm still having a hard time
with yesterday.
196
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,060
You know, your lateness, the circus
burger and everything. So I thought
197
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:56,920
and I said, well, one way for me to get
to the bottom of all this would be for
198
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,820
me to call Mr. Lukens myself.
199
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,839
Did you?
200
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,840
No.
201
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,620
Because I realized that's not the way we
do things in this family.
202
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,180
Well, you know, I'm glad, Mom, because I
know some parents who will call other
203
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:11,820
people to check on their kids and it
kind of tears the family apart.
204
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:18,270
But, Theo, I am still having a hard time
understanding exactly what happened.
205
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,250
So you leave me with no choice.
206
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,250
Here. What's this?
207
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,210
Summoned? Brilliant.
208
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:31,010
You, the defendant, Theodore Aloysius
Huxtable, are directed to appear in the
209
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:37,270
family court of Brooklyn, located in the
Huxtable living room, where you will be
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00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,390
tried before a jury of your peers.
211
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:41,470
Come on, is this a joke?
212
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,910
No.
213
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,170
What's the charge?
214
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,600
Read on.
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00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,800
You were charged with the telling of
half -truth and other crimes against
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00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,800
parents.
217
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:52,180
Magnificent.
218
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,960
You're putting Theo on trial?
219
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,980
Yes. Okay, this is unbelievable.
220
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,640
You guys come up with the craziest
things to do here. I love this house.
221
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,320
Walter, I'm so happy that you feel that
way. This is for you.
222
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,900
What's this? That is your subpoena to
appear in court as a witness.
223
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,780
You can't do this to me. My last name
isn't Huxtable. You know something? You
224
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:15,479
are right.
225
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,480
I should call your parents and ask their
permission.
226
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,620
No, no. I'll be happy to join in the
fun.
227
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,800
Good. Then I'll see you two gentlemen in
court at 3 p .m. sharp.
228
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,760
Welcome to the family, Walter.
229
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:40,790
Mom is definitely furious.
230
00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:42,970
Are you sure we can handle this?
231
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:46,170
After all those courtroom shows we've
seen on TV, man, we're solid.
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00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:50,410
Good afternoon, Mr. Huxtable, Mr.
Bradley.
233
00:12:51,410 --> 00:12:53,530
Uh -oh, she called us mister. We're
dead.
234
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:54,809
No, no, no.
235
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:57,490
She's just trying to rally you. Chill
out. With me as your attorney, you have
236
00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:58,490
nothing to worry about.
237
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,820
Now in session, we'll be hearing the
case of the family versus Theodore
238
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:17,120
Huxtable. All rise and stand for the
judge, please.
239
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:20,940
No, I object.
240
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:26,000
I don't want to get on the judge's bad
side right from the start.
241
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,760
I apologize, Your Honor.
242
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,640
I'm very pleased you're our judge.
243
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,700
Just make sure it doesn't happen again.
244
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:33,919
Yes, Your Honor.
245
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,760
Bailiff, bring in the jury.
246
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,580
Jury.
247
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,479
better object now.
248
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,000
Are you kidding? This is perfect. I know
exactly what to say to kids. I'll play
249
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000
them like violin.
250
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,700
The court will come to order.
251
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:55,820
Jury, first you will hear from Mrs.
Claire Huxtable, attorney for the
252
00:13:55,820 --> 00:14:01,260
prosecution. Mom. Thank you. Lady and
gentlemen of the jury, I hope to prove
253
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:07,700
beyond a shadow of a doubt that this
young man, Theodore Aloysius Huxtable,
254
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:12,380
been knowingly and shamelessly telling
his parents half -truths and other
255
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:13,420
deceptions. Is that clear?
256
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:15,720
When do we get to say Theo is guilty?
257
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,420
I'm not guilty.
258
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,900
Truly, Theo is not guilty. He's
innocent.
259
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,740
He is? Yes, absolutely.
260
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,320
You see, in order for Theo to be guilty,
I have to give you enough evidence to
261
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:29,920
prove that. Innocent until proven
guilty. That is the basic privilege of
262
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,160
citizen of the United States.
263
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,520
I like that.
264
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,640
I like that.
265
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:37,900
Bailiff, I will not tolerate such
outbursts in my courtroom. Is that
266
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,960
Is there an opening comment from the
defense?
267
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,560
Don't bury me. It's under control.
268
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,780
Lady and gentlemen of the jury, I just
have one question for you here today.
269
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,160
Why are we here?
270
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,500
Because Theo was late.
271
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,580
Precisely. But, I mean, is being late
such a big crime?
272
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,960
Haven't we all been hassled by our
parents for no reason at all?
273
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,360
Have you ever been out in your backyard
having fun, doing something you really
274
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,160
like to do, and then your parents come
out and say, stop doing that?
275
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,900
Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. And how?
276
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,840
How many times have we been talking with
our friends about important things like
277
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:12,900
toys, clothes?
278
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,480
and makeup.
279
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,840
And we come in a few minutes late, and
our parents have to listen and say,
280
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,579
have you been?
281
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:21,340
Go to your room, lady and gentlemen of
the jury.
282
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:25,860
It's not just Theodore Huxtable who's on
trial here today. It's all children.
283
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,360
And you, as the jury, have the chance to
put an end to this harassment of
284
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,360
children everywhere.
285
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:36,460
So let my client go free, and we can all
go out and get some ice cream.
286
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:37,740
Yay!
287
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,640
Can we go to the mall? I object, Your
Honor.
288
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:45,720
Mr. Bradley's last comment was clearly
made to bribe everybody.
289
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,520
Now, may I remind you that your first
responsibility is to this trial.
290
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,000
You're right, Mom. I'm sorry.
291
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,340
Uh, jury, there will be no ice cream
after the trial.
292
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:57,740
I'm a mayor!
293
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:58,980
I'm a new judge!
294
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,200
Would the prosecuting attorney like to
call her first witness? Thank you. I'd
295
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,580
like to call her to stand Heathcliff
Huxtable.
296
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:13,590
Me? Yes! Yeah, I'm the bailiff. You
should call somebody else.
297
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:16,350
I know, but you're also my surprise
witness.
298
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,850
I don't want to be the surprise witness.
299
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:20,750
You ought to make him take the stand.
300
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,850
Bailiff, you have an attitude problem.
301
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:28,730
Now, this is the second time I've had to
warn you, take the stand.
302
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:33,030
Please, Daddy.
303
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:39,370
Do you plan to tell the truth? So sit
down.
304
00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:43,880
Dr. Huxtable, what is your relationship
to the accused?
305
00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:46,620
It's my son.
306
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,680
For nearly 18 years.
307
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:52,300
And would you say that mostly he's been
a good son?
308
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,180
Oh, yeah.
309
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,400
He's all right.
310
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,900
Just yes or no will do?
311
00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:59,640
Yes.
312
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,859
Thank you. On the 21st day of this
month, did you tell your son how
313
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,740
that it was that he come home on time?
314
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,260
Yes. And since he did not come home on
time, would you say that something out
315
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,500
the ordinary must have occurred?
316
00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:14,819
Yes. Thank you. No further questions.
317
00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:19,520
Dr. Huxtable, you may not leave the
stand until I say step down.
318
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,280
Well, say step down.
319
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,800
I can't. You have to be cross -examined.
320
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,300
You're a witness, cockroach.
321
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,740
Cockroach?
322
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,280
Now, Dr. Huxtable, do you know why your
son went out for the cross -country
323
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,280
team?
324
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:36,380
Uh, the... May I remind you, you're
under oath.
325
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,020
Why did your son go out for the cross
-country team?
326
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:44,660
I know I'm under oath. Isn't it true
that you were so desperate to have your
327
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:48,140
on the team that you promised him if he
finished the season, you'd buy him a
328
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,140
car?
329
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,660
Cliff. Answer the question, please. Hey,
boy, let me tell you something.
330
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,560
Answer the question.
331
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:58,300
Come on, Dad.
332
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,360
Yes, I promised my son a car if he went
out for the team.
333
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,800
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I
submit.
334
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,140
that if Theo had never joined the team,
he would have not been late on that
335
00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:10,939
fateful night.
336
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:13,660
And he only joined the team because his
father promised him a car.
337
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:20,060
Therefore, I conclude that if any crime
was committed, it was committed by this
338
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:21,560
man. He's the guilty one.
339
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,900
No further questions. I rest my case.
340
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,480
You're going to rest something else
later, Sporty.
341
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,780
Reporter, if you would not like to call
to the stand, Mr. Theodore Huxtable,
342
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,080
please. Theodore Huxtable to the stand.
343
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,030
Do you promise to say it? I did. There
you go.
344
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:43,630
Mr. Huxtable, did you tell me yesterday
that your coach was having domestic
345
00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,290
problems? Yeah. Where did you hear this?
346
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:48,230
From a reliable source on the team.
347
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:49,890
Who? Cockroach.
348
00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:54,830
So you heard from your teammate,
Cockroach, that your coach was having
349
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:59,010
problems? Well, yeah. You see, he read
that when you have domestic problems,
350
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:00,010
take it out on other people.
351
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:04,070
The coach is always taking things out on
us. So you have no personal knowledge
352
00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:05,570
of the coach having domestic problems?
353
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,500
Well, no.
354
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:11,560
Okay, so then what you told me wasn't a
lie, but not exactly the truth.
355
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,480
Well... Let's go to another subject, Mr.
Huxtable. Circus burgers. Would it be
356
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,920
fair to say that you love circus
burgers?
357
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,880
Not as much as I love my parents.
358
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:24,500
My sisters.
359
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:26,960
And their friends.
360
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:30,560
But you do love them?
361
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:31,659
Well, yes.
362
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:32,660
If you can love a hamburger.
363
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:36,620
Then you should have been very excited
when the cross -country team went to
364
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,620
Circus Burger yesterday.
365
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:41,440
Yes. When the bus pulled up, did you and
Walter rush in?
366
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,300
Yes. Were you first in line?
367
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,940
Well, no. You see, we're not the fastest
guys on the team, so we ended up being
368
00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:47,579
in the middle.
369
00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:51,660
But, Mr. Huxtable, you told me yesterday
that you and Walter were the only two
370
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:54,700
team members who didn't get a chance to
eat their burgers.
371
00:19:55,160 --> 00:20:00,430
Yeah. Well, how is it that the team
members behind you got their burgers and
372
00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:01,430
didn't get yours?
373
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:02,630
They're animals.
374
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,350
They'll do anything to get a circus
burger.
375
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,150
And you wouldn't? Well, not if it means
being impolite.
376
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:13,890
Excuse me, Mr. Huxtable. Last week, I
saw you push your father aside and step
377
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:16,810
your little sister to get in front of
the circus burger line.
378
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:19,490
Oh, yeah, but I was hungry.
379
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:20,750
You were not hungry yesterday?
380
00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:25,270
Well, I was, but not... Something
prevented you.
381
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,490
From getting your circus burger.
382
00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:30,110
Something out of the ordinary. What was
that something?
383
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,430
Uh... Did you run out of money?
384
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,770
No. Did you suddenly become vegetarian?
385
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:37,130
No. Did you forget how to order?
386
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,170
No. Did your feet fall asleep?
387
00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:41,770
Were you standing in a milkshake -only
line?
388
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,550
Or were you tackled by the circus burger
clown?
389
00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:47,450
Mom, stop.
390
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,630
Come on. I'm not some criminal. I'm your
kid.
391
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:50,769
No, you're not.
392
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,530
You told me to treat you like an adult.
393
00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:55,390
Well, is this how you treat adults? When
I take them to court, yes.
394
00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:59,510
Now, are you going to tell me the whole
truth, or do I begin to play rough?
395
00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:01,490
Okay, I'll talk.
396
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:03,450
Now, we didn't mean any harm by this,
Mom.
397
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:07,250
And if we knew this was going to happen,
we never would have done it.
398
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:08,690
What did you do?
399
00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:12,230
Well, there was this girl behind the
counter, and she was kind of overweight.
400
00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:15,910
And Cockroach and I were making jokes
about her. But we didn't think she could
401
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:16,529
hear us.
402
00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:20,690
But some other guys on the team started
laughing, so we started telling more
403
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:21,690
jokes.
404
00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:24,230
And by the time we got to the front of
the line...
405
00:21:24,810 --> 00:21:25,810
She was crying.
406
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:28,650
I guess you overheard us.
407
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,450
And that's why your coach was yelling at
you and made you get on the bus.
408
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:36,670
Yeah. He took everybody else home first,
and he stopped the bus and gave me and
409
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,870
Cockroach a 20 -minute lecture.
410
00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:39,250
And that's why you were late.
411
00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:42,370
Yeah. So what did he say to you today at
practice?
412
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:44,590
Well, we didn't go to track practice.
413
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:48,150
After the lecture, the coach took our
uniforms.
414
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:49,850
So you're off the team.
415
00:21:50,190 --> 00:21:53,030
Yeah. I'm sorry. I tried to keep it from
your mom.
416
00:21:53,710 --> 00:21:57,550
Theo. Is there anything else you're
keeping from us? Like you're being sued
417
00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,190
Circus Burger or you have a wife and
child on the other side of town?
418
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:02,530
No, that's it.
419
00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:04,510
There's nothing else.
420
00:22:04,570 --> 00:22:08,530
Now, how many times do we have to tell
you to tell us the truth no matter what
421
00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:09,249
it is?
422
00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:11,330
Because when you don't tell the truth,
your life falls apart.
423
00:22:11,570 --> 00:22:14,610
I mean, look at you. The past couple of
days you've been around here scrambling,
424
00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:17,850
backpedaling, covering your tracks,
giving all this deception.
425
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,500
None of this would have ever happened,
Theo, if you had just told us everything
426
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,820
from the beginning. And, honey, that's
what I'm trying to get through to you.
427
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,280
Do you understand?
428
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,160
Yeah. Does everybody here understand?
429
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,140
Huh?
430
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,300
Rudy, were you listening to me?
431
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,380
Yeah. Okay, what did I say?
432
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,680
I don't know.
433
00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:40,080
Now, tell your sister what I said.
434
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,780
Oh, Mom, I was concentrating on being a
judge.
435
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,500
Anybody here today learn anything from
all of this? Well, I did.
436
00:22:50,420 --> 00:22:53,380
From now on, I'm going to tell the truth
because I don't have enough money to
437
00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:54,380
hire a good lawyer.
438
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,400
That's good enough for me.
439
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,900
I withdraw my charges and this trial is
over. Oh, good.
440
00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:04,540
Hey, we didn't get to say Theo's guilty.
441
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,500
Let's go get some ice cream.
442
00:23:07,740 --> 00:23:08,740
Yay!
443
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:09,759
At the mall?
444
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,739
At the mall.
445
00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:14,050
You know, Ma, I want you to know, the
first thing in the morning... I'm going
446
00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:16,090
go down to Circus Bergman and apologize
to that girl.
447
00:23:16,510 --> 00:23:17,570
Can I believe that?
448
00:23:17,850 --> 00:23:19,410
Well, hey, I'm reformed.
449
00:23:20,570 --> 00:23:23,290
Dr. Huxtable, I hope there are no hard
feelings.
450
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:24,750
No, no, no.
451
00:23:25,350 --> 00:23:28,670
You know, this was a rewarding
experience for me here today.
452
00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:30,930
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
453
00:23:31,150 --> 00:23:34,390
You see, I always feel like I grow as a
person when I'm in this house.
454
00:23:34,730 --> 00:23:38,270
So I was hoping that whatever was
brought up here today remains here.
455
00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:42,930
You're telling me you don't want me to
say anything to your parents?
456
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,219
Yeah, correct.
457
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:47,860
Did you understand anything that Mr.
Tuxtable was trying to say?
458
00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:49,100
About what?
459
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,700
That's what I thought.
460
00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:32,080
Cosby Show was taped before a studio
audience.
37848
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