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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,259 --> 00:00:02,260 Thank you. 2 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,479 Thank you. 3 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,210 That banner looks great. 4 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:17,210 Sandra and Elvin are going to love that. 5 00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:21,010 Thank you. They called from the airport. They're on the way over. I got Sandra 6 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:22,610 the most incredible gift. 7 00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:27,810 The briefcase. Yes, but not just any briefcase. This briefcase is patent 8 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,730 with her initials embossed in gold letters. 9 00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:31,850 This is perfect for law school. 10 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:36,670 And when they see what I got Elvin for med school, they are going to say, here 11 00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:38,190 is a future surgeon general. 12 00:01:38,470 --> 00:01:40,210 What is it? I'll tell you. 13 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:41,890 You're not going to even give me a hint? 14 00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,150 Well, I'll give you a hint. 15 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:47,760 It's shiny and cold and rhymes with ethoscope. 16 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:55,820 Ethoscope. Oh, how did you get? This is state of the art, my dear. You put this 17 00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:59,240 thing in your ears and you hold it up. Your patient does not have to leave 18 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:05,040 He's going to love it. Yes, he is. He is going to love it. I'm so excited for 19 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,040 Sondra and Elvin. 20 00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:10,259 They're newlyweds. They know exactly what they want to do. They are both 21 00:02:10,259 --> 00:02:11,600 to good graduate school. 22 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,340 It's the most exciting. Exciting time of their lives. 23 00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:16,100 Uh -huh. And you know why? 24 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:18,980 Because they have no children. 25 00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,220 Well, this is true. 26 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:26,340 But one day they might get lucky like us. I just think we have a daughter and 27 00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:28,680 son -in -law who are following in our footsteps. 28 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,200 And you know what I love? 29 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:37,340 Huh? The very fact that our four remaining children might go to law 30 00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:42,620 and marry doctors. And then if each one had five children, then they... 31 00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:47,910 would go to law school and marry doctors, then I could open up a clinic 32 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,110 worry about being sued. 33 00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:52,550 Mom, Dad, we're home. 34 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:54,570 Welcome home. 35 00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:56,310 Thanks. Thanks. 36 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,890 Well, how does it feel being married an entire eight days? Great. 37 00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,150 How was the honeymoon? 38 00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:03,430 Unbelievable. 39 00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:06,210 Sensational. Really? Better than I ever imagined. Wow. 40 00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:09,130 Alvin, Alvin, Alvin, not in front of the children. 41 00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:11,210 Did you fight? 42 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:15,370 No. Well, we fought once. We fought over who loved whom more. 43 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,630 And whom won. 44 00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:23,350 We love each other as much as we do. It's hard to measure, Dr. Huxtable. 45 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,170 Elvin, we're married now. You can call him Dad. 46 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:27,670 May I? No. 47 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:34,030 I'm just joking. Welcome to the family, son. 48 00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:35,770 Call me son. 49 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:37,950 Son, don't look. 50 00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:40,310 What's all this? 51 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,660 We just wanted to welcome you home from your honeymoon and give you a good send 52 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:44,660 -off to graduate school. 53 00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:51,580 And so, without further ado, have a good luck gift for our future professionals. 54 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,020 Oh, you shouldn't have done this, Dad. Oh, don't be silly. I wanted to. 55 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,360 What is it, a tie? 56 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,720 Oh, no, Rudy, the box is too big for a tie. 57 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,260 It's probably a stethoscope. 58 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:11,110 It's beautiful, but I really can't accept this. Oh, but you have to. Look 59 00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:13,370 this. Put them right in there. Huh? 60 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,750 Now, listen to this. Ba -boom, ba -boom, ba -boom, ba -boom, ba -boom. 61 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:21,190 There's a reason why I can't accept this. I know it's expensive, but let's 62 00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:24,190 at it this way. It's an investment in the future. 63 00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:27,710 Dad, there isn't going to be any stethoscope in my future. 64 00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:31,670 Yeah, well, I am not going to buy you an x -ray machine to hang around your 65 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:32,670 neck. 66 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,120 The reason is, I'm not going to medical school. 67 00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:39,380 Huh? I've decided not to go. I don't want to be a doctor. 68 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:40,660 I don't understand. 69 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,460 You should have given them a tie. 70 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,340 Elvin, honey, tell them why. They'll understand. 71 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:52,300 Well, Mom, Dad, I've always had doubts about going into medicine. You see, 72 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,840 philosophically, I have a problem with charging sick people money. 73 00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:04,550 Elvin, you can do a lot of community service where you don't charge patients. 74 00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:05,709 There you go. 75 00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:09,290 I know, but I'm also not sure if I want to spend the next eight years of my life 76 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:10,590 in school and training. 77 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,530 Hey, but once you get out, it's fat city. Right, Dad? 78 00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:19,410 Theo, Elvin isn't interested in making a lot of money. 79 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:23,390 He just wants to do something that'll make him happy. What would make you 80 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:27,730 Elvin? Well, I'd like to open my own wilderness store. 81 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:37,840 Wilderness store? 82 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,800 Yes. You know, selling camping equipment and supplies. 83 00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,340 I didn't realize you were interested in camping. I've always loved the outdoors. 84 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:49,660 Elvin, do you know anything about running a wilderness store? Not yet, but 85 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,280 our honeymoon, we met this great couple. Wendy and Dave Miller. You'll love 86 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:53,839 them, Mom. 87 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,720 Yeah, they're opening a wilderness store in Brooklyn this winter. 88 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,240 In... in... in... 89 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,500 In Brooklyn? Yeah, and they said I could train with them, and then once I knew 90 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,300 the business, I could have my own franchise. 91 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 Isn't that exciting? 92 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:10,400 No, I think it stinks. 93 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:18,060 Dad? And I'll tell you why it stinks, Pally. We need to talk. No, no, we're 94 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:21,760 going to talk, because I want to tell him why it stinks. Yes, but we need to 95 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:22,820 meet in the kitchen first. 96 00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:26,180 Well, when we come back from the kitchen, can I tell him why then? 97 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,220 Yes. You wait right here, mister. 98 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:37,660 I hope you're not angry, Dad. Not at all, Sporty. 99 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,780 Just calm down. 100 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:49,480 When I gave my daughter to this man, I thought he was going to be a doctor. 101 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,620 Clip, stay calm. No, no. I mean, look at the inscription on this, please. 102 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,320 To Elvin. 103 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,980 Straight from my heart. 104 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,460 Clip, this is really very sweet. That's right. 105 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,520 And he's going to pay me back for this. 106 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:11,250 Mr. Wilderness is going to have to sell a whole lot of sleeping bags and 107 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:17,030 campers and trail mix in order to give me the money back for this thing, boy. 108 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,530 Cliff, try to be rational. 109 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:24,830 Try to be rational? I'll tell you how rational I can be. I hope that he goes 110 00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:29,850 into the wilderness and gets poison ivy and comes back and I have to treat him. 111 00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:33,030 Then he will find out how much sick people get charged. 112 00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:39,850 Jeff, you're going off the deep end. Now, you listen to me. This boy is our 113 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,870 -in -law. He has married our daughter. Please don't remind me. 114 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:47,050 You owe it to Sandra and Elvin to let them lead their own lives. 115 00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:50,510 Now, it's obvious. Elvin's not interested in going to medical school 116 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,570 but that could change. 117 00:07:51,650 --> 00:07:55,510 Give him a year. Just a year to do whatever he wants. If it doesn't work 118 00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:56,510 could always reapply. 119 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,850 He's going to pay me for this stethoscope. 120 00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:08,710 I think we should be getting upstairs while the getting is good. 121 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,770 Why? They're only mad at Alvin. 122 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:18,950 Hi, Dad. 123 00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:33,090 She's going to open up this wilderness. 124 00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:43,270 In Brooklyn sometime in the winter, you say, now, do you have a job between now 125 00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:44,630 and then? 126 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:48,490 Yes, I do have a job. And I'm proud to say it's in the medical profession. 127 00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:53,410 Really? Yes. I'll be working with a major pharmaceutical firm, Benex 128 00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,470 Oh, that's a big company. 129 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,930 What are you doing for them? 130 00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:00,780 Well, it's kind of an entry -level job. 131 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,099 Entry -level? 132 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,800 Yeah, when the pill bottles come to the end of the assembly line. 133 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:10,040 I check to make sure that the safety fields are on the caps. 134 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,020 I'm inspector number 36. 135 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,100 He's got a title, honey. He's inspector number 36. 136 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,600 Well, now, that sounds like a great job to me. It is. It really is. And I'm sure 137 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,960 that they'll have all the money they need while Sandra goes to law school. 138 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,280 Honey, this is going to work out. 139 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:27,920 Mom? Yes? 140 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,540 I'm not going to law school. 141 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,760 What? 142 00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:40,520 I decided not to go to law school. What do you mean, you decided not to go to 143 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,520 law school? 144 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:45,260 Well, this is our dream, and so I'm going to get a temporary job until the 145 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:48,620 wilderness store opens, and then I'll be working side by side with my husband. 146 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,100 Sandra, what are you saying? 147 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,520 You have always wanted to go to law school. You've never talked about 148 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,620 else. I changed my mind. Change it back. 149 00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:03,350 to Princeton? 150 00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:08,370 Sandra, you owe us $79 ,648 .22. 151 00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,170 And I want my money now. 152 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,350 I'm not going anywhere till I get my money. 153 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,630 I'll take whatever she's got. Empty her pockets. 154 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:27,230 I want to know now. No, I'm not having this. No. 155 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,530 Really, both of us, we have to be calm. You calm down. 156 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,700 If Elvin thinks that he is going to come in here and drag my baby off into some 157 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:39,680 harebrained business game and ruin what is potentially the greatest legal mind 158 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,320 of this century, he's going to have me to deal with. 159 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,300 And then he can come to you for treatment. 160 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:53,980 I understand and I agree with what you're saying, but you just said to me, 161 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,860 why don't we? 162 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:01,620 Give them a year, and if it doesn't work, then they can reapply. 163 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,160 That is the dumbest thing I ever heard. 164 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:12,380 What I want to know is how is it that you get to rant and rave and I'm the one 165 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:13,380 who has to be calm? 166 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:18,380 Because that is my baby in there. But that's my baby, too. No, Cliff, you 167 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:23,720 understand, honey. You did not have that child. I had that child. I was the one 168 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,620 who was on that table screaming, take it out. 169 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:29,599 my body. 170 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,620 Sondra is going to become a lawyer. Yeah, okay. What do you want to do? 171 00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:34,820 Oh, it's very simple. 172 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,300 She'll divorce him. 173 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,960 Sondra is in love with the boy, dear. Well, then you take Elvin. 174 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,220 I'll take him? Yes, you take him. What am I going to do with him? You take him 175 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,480 on a long trip in the country and drop him off. 176 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,420 No, no, see, he will love it out there in the wilderness. 177 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,800 I had a nightmare. 178 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:23,660 I dreamt that Sandra and Alvin came home from their honeymoon and told 179 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:29,280 us that they didn't want to go to law school or medical school. And then they 180 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:34,480 told us they were going to open up a wilderness shop in Brooklyn. 181 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,520 And, oh, 182 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,020 it was just horrible. 183 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:40,260 Horrible. 184 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,840 I'm glad I was dreaming. 185 00:12:43,479 --> 00:12:44,479 Cliff. Huh? 186 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,800 You were not dreaming. 187 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,040 I wasn't? 188 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,780 Hi. You can't come in here without a note from a psychiatrist. 189 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,280 Oh, Dad. 190 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,680 Mom, today was a tremendous day. Ta -da! 191 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,460 Our first lease, Dad. 192 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:01,840 Wonderful, Elvin. 193 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,300 Oh, what happened to son? 194 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,020 wonderful apartment. It has a view of the Verrazano Bridge. 195 00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:12,560 Oh. The best thing about it is we can move in tomorrow. 196 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,140 And as soon as we get everything set up, we want you two to be our first dinner 197 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:16,839 guests. Yeah. 198 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,680 Will you be able to afford the food? 199 00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:20,860 Of course. 200 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,320 Come on, Elvin. Let's go upstairs and pack. 201 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:31,520 You know, Cliff, those two just might pull this off. 202 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,820 They are moving ahead very well. 203 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,900 Now, that doesn't mean that I approve of all their choices now. 204 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,020 But then again, I guess there were some choices that we made along the way that 205 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,480 maybe our parents didn't approve of either. 206 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,440 Like what? 207 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:47,960 Well, for one, I know my parents would have liked for me to have married a good 208 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,640 -looking man with a lot of money. 209 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,840 And a smaller nose. 210 00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:08,080 Sandra, do you know what I love most about this apartment? 211 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:09,420 What? 212 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,240 That you're in it. 213 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:12,900 Aw, Elvin. 214 00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,720 I can't believe it, they're here! 215 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,300 Our first dinner guests. 216 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,760 Hi, Mom, Dad. 217 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,240 Come in. 218 00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:28,760 Well, what do you think? 219 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,780 So this is it. 220 00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:33,420 Dad? It's an apartment, all right. 221 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,520 Have a seat. Make yourselves at home. Thank you. Thank you very much. 222 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,680 Comfortable, isn't it? 223 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,960 Yeah. Can you believe it? We found it on the street. Somebody actually threw it 224 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:57,960 away. 225 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,180 What, the apartment? 226 00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:10,470 under the place. Yeah, you should have seen it before we moved in. It was 227 00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:13,970 Thank you. 228 00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:18,910 It was Alvin's idea to put up this curtain to separate the kitchen from the 229 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,230 dining room. Oh, that's nice. 230 00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:24,750 So, where's this view of the Verrazano Bridge? 231 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:26,210 Right this way. 232 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:29,190 Can I help you up there? No, no, I'll just roll right on out. 233 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:40,370 That's the, uh, the cave from the Valley Fair milk sign. Ah, does it blink all 234 00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:41,129 the time? 235 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:44,470 Yeah, but we were lucky. The people next door look out and see a bobbing cow's 236 00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:45,470 head. 237 00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:49,410 Okay, so this is it, huh? Yeah. 238 00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:52,110 Well, now where's the break? It's over there. Huh? 239 00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:53,670 To the left. Ah. 240 00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:58,270 Well, I just, I just see the toll booths. 241 00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:01,530 You see how they sparkle in the twilight? 242 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:03,710 Yeah. 243 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,140 Sandra ought to set some chairs out here on the windowsill and just have a good 244 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,240 time with some iced tea. 245 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,040 That's why we usually keep the window closed. 246 00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:16,320 There's a fire station next door. 247 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,820 Well, how do you sleep at night? 248 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,660 Oh, there isn't a fire every night. 249 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,440 Except when Sandra and I look into each other's eyes. 250 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,720 Well, 251 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,680 I hope you're hungry. We're having spaghetti. 252 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,220 I knew there was something that I forgot. 253 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:38,740 The basil for the sauce. 254 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,660 Well, Sandra, there's a wonderful produce market right up the street. 255 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,220 Why don't we just go there and get some? 256 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,480 Great idea. 257 00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:45,580 You want to come, Dad? 258 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:50,740 No, I'll just stay here and talk, husband talk with Alvin. Love that, Dad. 259 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:51,779 we'll be right back. 260 00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:52,780 Okay. 261 00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,020 Sandra, what's this? 262 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,100 Oh, I was going to tell you that at dinner. I got a job at a restaurant 263 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,800 table. I thought you were applying to the U .N. for a job as a tour guide. 264 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,359 But they postponed the interview for a week, and we couldn't wait that long. We 265 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,640 really needed some money right away. 266 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,440 Why? Doesn't Elvin have money coming in from his job? I was going to tell you 267 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,339 about that at dinner. 268 00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:12,460 I lost my job. 269 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,540 The company had an efficiency expert come and visit, and they decided they 270 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:20,920 needed 35 inspectors. 271 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,560 Now, don't worry, Mom and Dad. 272 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:27,760 Sandra spoke to the guys at her restaurant, and they said that one of 273 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,740 busboys might be leaving soon and that they'd be glad to give me a chance. 274 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,660 Sandra, let's go for the baby. 275 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,660 These are your degrees from Princeton? 276 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,980 Yeah. Fell down? 277 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,460 Yeah. Rather symbolic, don't you think? 278 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:55,580 Elvis? Yes, Dad? 279 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,340 How long are you going... 280 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:13,600 How 281 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:18,040 long? 282 00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:24,540 How long are you going to keep my daughter living like this? 283 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,920 Well, we have a five -year plan. 284 00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:30,490 That's about as long as it'll take to get the wilderness store off its feet, 285 00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:31,590 then we'll move into a bigger place. 286 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:33,490 If you have a five -year plan, you don't have a job. 287 00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:39,190 Now, Dr. Huxtable, I understand your concern, but do you know the story of 288 00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:40,190 Milton Hershey? 289 00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:46,170 Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't. Milton Hershey went bankrupt six times before 290 00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:50,350 it big in chocolate. Elvis, you're not planning on taking my daughter through 291 00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,170 bankruptcy six times? 292 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,690 Dad, I think I understand how you're feeling. 293 00:18:55,890 --> 00:19:01,370 No, no, I don't think you can because it's my daughter. 294 00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:05,810 Right, but I have to remind you that your daughter is also my wife. 295 00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,250 She was my daughter first. 296 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,830 But she's my wife now. 297 00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:18,290 And she will always be my daughter. 298 00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,590 But she wears my ring. 299 00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:28,650 and braces that I paid for to keep her teeth straight so she could live with a 300 00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:31,310 man who's going to take her into bankruptcy six times. 301 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:36,050 Dr. Huxtable, we could go on like this forever, but what good would it do us? 302 00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:41,270 I guess you're right, and I don't mean to interfere, but I do think, Elvin, if 303 00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:46,130 it's all right with you, I'd like to help out with some money. 304 00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:47,470 Money. Money! 305 00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:53,350 Oh, no, thank you. Sandra and I determined to make it on our own, but 306 00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:54,370 Take it as a loan. 307 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:57,470 No. Listen, Milton Hershey would take it. 308 00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:08,710 Tonight was fun. 309 00:20:10,890 --> 00:20:12,330 You know, 310 00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:16,730 after we had been in the apartment for a while, I started to get a warm feeling. 311 00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:18,890 I think it was the heat from the hot plate. 312 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:23,920 So we were doing the dishes, and Alvin decided he would tell me the story of 313 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,980 Milton Hershey. Oh, yes, Alvin told me that story also. 314 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,400 Yeah, well, then I decided I should tell him the story of Ivan Marshall. 315 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:33,800 Now, who's Ivan Marshall? Well, you wouldn't know Ivan Marshall, you see, 316 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,520 because he went bankrupt only once. 317 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,840 Then his creditors came to his apartment, dragged him out in the 318 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,840 beat him up. 319 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:44,780 With our luck, Alvin's creditors would beat us up. 320 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,200 Who is it? 321 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,060 It's Theo. I need to talk to you. It's important. 322 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,400 Come in, honey. 323 00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:53,560 Hi. Hey. 324 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,480 I want you both to know that I'm really sorry about what Sandra Nelvin did to 325 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,439 you. 326 00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,520 Well, it's okay. 327 00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:02,540 No, I mean it. Now, you two were thrown a curve. 328 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,580 If Sandra had come to you in her senior year of high school and said, Mom, Dad, 329 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,860 I want to open a camping store, you would have been braced for it. 330 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,060 But to do it after four years of college was really unfair. 331 00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,860 And I want you both to know that I would never do that to you. 332 00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:18,749 Thank you, Theo. 333 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:21,250 And that's why I'm telling you now that I'm not going to college. 334 00:21:24,790 --> 00:21:27,670 I'm going to open up my own business right after I graduate from high school. 335 00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,270 And where are you going to get the money? 336 00:21:29,590 --> 00:21:30,590 Well, that's why I'm here. 337 00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:35,190 See, all you have to do is give me the money you're going to spend on my 338 00:21:35,190 --> 00:21:36,310 education now. 339 00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:40,190 How much are we talking? 340 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:43,930 Well, I brought my calculator in this research so he could figure it out. 341 00:21:44,290 --> 00:21:45,289 Here you go. 342 00:21:45,290 --> 00:21:47,390 Now, to go to Bennington College. Wait, wait. 343 00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:52,170 Bennington is the most expensive school in the United States of America right 344 00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:55,470 now. Yeah, but you and mom would have wanted me to go to a top school. 345 00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:56,709 Of course. 346 00:21:56,710 --> 00:21:57,710 Yes. Good. 347 00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:04,230 Now, tuition plus room and board will cost $17 ,999. 348 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:11,810 Now, multiply that by four years and add a 5 % increase each year for inflation. 349 00:22:12,780 --> 00:22:16,640 Then add $7 ,000 for books and lab fees. 350 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:17,880 Lab fees? 351 00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:19,560 I was going to be a chemistry major. 352 00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:25,740 We would have been proud of him. 353 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:33,160 Thanks. Now, Bennington College is in Vermont, so we have to figure in the 354 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,300 of coming home every weekend. 355 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,600 He would come home every weekend. 356 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,000 He's a good boy. 357 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,730 That comes to $8 ,000. 358 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:48,930 Now, plus $3 ,000 for incidentals. Don't forget askadentals. 359 00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:51,730 What's an askadentals? 360 00:22:52,090 --> 00:22:56,930 Askadentals is the money you ask for when you misspend the incidental money 361 00:22:56,930 --> 00:22:57,930 asked for. 362 00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:00,110 All right, I like that. 363 00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:05,450 Okay, so we add on another $5 ,000 for askadentals. 364 00:23:06,770 --> 00:23:10,650 Okay, so the grand total is $112 ,500. 365 00:23:11,310 --> 00:23:12,189 Mm -hmm. 366 00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:14,500 That's pretty steep. Yes, it is. 367 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,320 But I'm willing to deal here. 368 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:21,560 Now, because you two are such great parents, I'm going to take off 18%. 369 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:22,880 good. Absolutely. 370 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,880 It does? 371 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:30,420 Sure. Now, all you have to do is take the college boards and be accepted to 372 00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:31,980 Bennington as a chemistry major. 373 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:34,560 I'll tell you what. 374 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,100 If I don't get accepted into Bennington, I'll take 50 cents on the dollar. 375 00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:39,660 I think I'm going to tell you what. 376 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,980 If I were you, I would get out of this room while I was ahead and alive. 377 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:54,320 Well, can I at least borrow $3 for some pizza? 378 00:24:29,230 --> 00:24:31,830 The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience. 31415

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