All language subtitles for the_cosby_show_s04e01_call_of_the

Thank you.

Thank you.

That banner looks great.

Sandra and Elvin are going to love that.

Thank you. They called from the airport.
They're on the way over. I got Sandra

the most incredible gift.

The briefcase. Yes, but not just any
briefcase. This briefcase is patent

with her initials embossed in gold
letters.

This is perfect for law school.

And when they see what I got Elvin for
med school, they are going to say, here

is a future surgeon general.

What is it? I'll tell you.

You're not going to even give me a hint?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

It's shiny and cold and rhymes with
ethoscope.

Ethoscope. Oh, how did you get? This is
state of the art, my dear. You put this

thing in your ears and you hold it up.
Your patient does not have to leave

He's going to love it. Yes, he is. He is
going to love it. I'm so excited for

Sondra and Elvin.

They're newlyweds. They know exactly
what they want to do. They are both

to good graduate school.

It's the most exciting. Exciting time of
their lives.

Uh -huh. And you know why?

Because they have no children.

Well, this is true.

But one day they might get lucky like
us. I just think we have a daughter and

son -in -law who are following in our
footsteps.

And you know what I love?

Huh? The very fact that our four
remaining children might go to law

and marry doctors. And then if each one
had five children, then they...

would go to law school and marry
doctors, then I could open up a clinic

worry about being sued.

Mom, Dad, we're home.

Welcome home.

Thanks. Thanks.

Well, how does it feel being married an
entire eight days? Great.

How was the honeymoon?

Unbelievable.

Sensational. Really? Better than I ever
imagined. Wow.

Alvin, Alvin, Alvin, not in front of the
children.

Did you fight?

No. Well, we fought once. We fought over
who loved whom more.

And whom won.

We love each other as much as we do.
It's hard to measure, Dr. Huxtable.

Elvin, we're married now. You can call
him Dad.

May I? No.

I'm just joking. Welcome to the family,
son.

Call me son.

Son, don't look.

What's all this?

We just wanted to welcome you home from
your honeymoon and give you a good send

-off to graduate school.

And so, without further ado, have a good
luck gift for our future professionals.

Oh, you shouldn't have done this, Dad.
Oh, don't be silly. I wanted to.

What is it, a tie?

Oh, no, Rudy, the box is too big for a
tie.

It's probably a stethoscope.

It's beautiful, but I really can't
accept this. Oh, but you have to. Look

this. Put them right in there. Huh?

Now, listen to this. Ba -boom, ba -boom,
ba -boom, ba -boom, ba -boom.

There's a reason why I can't accept
this. I know it's expensive, but let's

at it this way. It's an investment in
the future.

Dad, there isn't going to be any
stethoscope in my future.

Yeah, well, I am not going to buy you an
x -ray machine to hang around your

neck.

The reason is, I'm not going to medical
school.

Huh? I've decided not to go. I don't
want to be a doctor.

I don't understand.

You should have given them a tie.

Elvin, honey, tell them why. They'll
understand.

Well, Mom, Dad, I've always had doubts
about going into medicine. You see,

philosophically, I have a problem with
charging sick people money.

Elvin, you can do a lot of community
service where you don't charge patients.

There you go.

I know, but I'm also not sure if I want
to spend the next eight years of my life

in school and training.

Hey, but once you get out, it's fat
city. Right, Dad?

Theo, Elvin isn't interested in making a
lot of money.

He just wants to do something that'll
make him happy. What would make you

Elvin? Well, I'd like to open my own
wilderness store.

Wilderness store?

Yes. You know, selling camping equipment
and supplies.

I didn't realize you were interested in
camping. I've always loved the outdoors.

Elvin, do you know anything about
running a wilderness store? Not yet, but

our honeymoon, we met this great couple.
Wendy and Dave Miller. You'll love

them, Mom.

Yeah, they're opening a wilderness store
in Brooklyn this winter.

In... in... in...

In Brooklyn? Yeah, and they said I could
train with them, and then once I knew

the business, I could have my own
franchise.

Isn't that exciting?

No, I think it stinks.

Dad? And I'll tell you why it stinks,
Pally. We need to talk. No, no, we're

going to talk, because I want to tell
him why it stinks. Yes, but we need to

meet in the kitchen first.

Well, when we come back from the
kitchen, can I tell him why then?

Yes. You wait right here, mister.

I hope you're not angry, Dad. Not at
all, Sporty.

Just calm down.

When I gave my daughter to this man, I
thought he was going to be a doctor.

Clip, stay calm. No, no. I mean, look at
the inscription on this, please.

To Elvin.

Straight from my heart.

Clip, this is really very sweet. That's
right.

And he's going to pay me back for this.

Mr. Wilderness is going to have to sell
a whole lot of sleeping bags and

campers and trail mix in order to give
me the money back for this thing, boy.

Cliff, try to be rational.

Try to be rational? I'll tell you how
rational I can be. I hope that he goes

into the wilderness and gets poison ivy
and comes back and I have to treat him.

Then he will find out how much sick
people get charged.

Jeff, you're going off the deep end.
Now, you listen to me. This boy is our

-in -law. He has married our daughter.
Please don't remind me.

You owe it to Sandra and Elvin to let
them lead their own lives.

Now, it's obvious. Elvin's not
interested in going to medical school

but that could change.

Give him a year. Just a year to do
whatever he wants. If it doesn't work

could always reapply.

He's going to pay me for this
stethoscope.

I think we should be getting upstairs
while the getting is good.

Why? They're only mad at Alvin.

Hi, Dad.

She's going to open up this wilderness.

In Brooklyn sometime in the winter, you
say, now, do you have a job between now

and then?

Yes, I do have a job. And I'm proud to
say it's in the medical profession.

Really? Yes. I'll be working with a
major pharmaceutical firm, Benex

Oh, that's a big company.

What are you doing for them?

Well, it's kind of an entry -level job.

Entry -level?

Yeah, when the pill bottles come to the
end of the assembly line.

I check to make sure that the safety
fields are on the caps.

I'm inspector number 36.

He's got a title, honey. He's inspector
number 36.

Well, now, that sounds like a great job
to me. It is. It really is. And I'm sure

that they'll have all the money they
need while Sandra goes to law school.

Honey, this is going to work out.

Mom? Yes?

I'm not going to law school.

What?

I decided not to go to law school. What
do you mean, you decided not to go to

law school?

Well, this is our dream, and so I'm
going to get a temporary job until the

wilderness store opens, and then I'll be
working side by side with my husband.

Sandra, what are you saying?

You have always wanted to go to law
school. You've never talked about

else. I changed my mind. Change it back.

to Princeton?

Sandra, you owe us $79 ,648 .22.

And I want my money now.

I'm not going anywhere till I get my
money.

I'll take whatever she's got. Empty her
pockets.

I want to know now. No, I'm not having
this. No.

Really, both of us, we have to be calm.
You calm down.

If Elvin thinks that he is going to come
in here and drag my baby off into some

harebrained business game and ruin what
is potentially the greatest legal mind

of this century, he's going to have me
to deal with.

And then he can come to you for
treatment.

I understand and I agree with what
you're saying, but you just said to me,

why don't we?

Give them a year, and if it doesn't
work, then they can reapply.

That is the dumbest thing I ever heard.

What I want to know is how is it that
you get to rant and rave and I'm the one

who has to be calm?

Because that is my baby in there. But
that's my baby, too. No, Cliff, you

understand, honey. You did not have that
child. I had that child. I was the one

who was on that table screaming, take it
out.

my body.

Sondra is going to become a lawyer.
Yeah, okay. What do you want to do?

Oh, it's very simple.

She'll divorce him.

Sondra is in love with the boy, dear.
Well, then you take Elvin.

I'll take him? Yes, you take him. What
am I going to do with him? You take him

on a long trip in the country and drop
him off.

No, no, see, he will love it out there
in the wilderness.

I had a nightmare.

I dreamt that Sandra and Alvin came home
from their honeymoon and told

us that they didn't want to go to law
school or medical school. And then they

told us they were going to open up a
wilderness shop in Brooklyn.

And, oh,

it was just horrible.

Horrible.

I'm glad I was dreaming.

Cliff. Huh?

You were not dreaming.

I wasn't?

Hi. You can't come in here without a
note from a psychiatrist.

Oh, Dad.

Mom, today was a tremendous day. Ta -da!

Our first lease, Dad.

Wonderful, Elvin.

Oh, what happened to son?

wonderful apartment. It has a view of
the Verrazano Bridge.

Oh. The best thing about it is we can
move in tomorrow.

And as soon as we get everything set up,
we want you two to be our first dinner

guests. Yeah.

Will you be able to afford the food?

Of course.

Come on, Elvin. Let's go upstairs and
pack.

You know, Cliff, those two just might
pull this off.

They are moving ahead very well.

Now, that doesn't mean that I approve of
all their choices now.

But then again, I guess there were some
choices that we made along the way that

maybe our parents didn't approve of
either.

Like what?

Well, for one, I know my parents would
have liked for me to have married a good

-looking man with a lot of money.

And a smaller nose.

Sandra, do you know what I love most
about this apartment?

What?

That you're in it.

Aw, Elvin.

I can't believe it, they're here!

Our first dinner guests.

Hi, Mom, Dad.

Come in.

Well, what do you think?

So this is it.

Dad? It's an apartment, all right.

Have a seat. Make yourselves at home.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Comfortable, isn't it?

Yeah. Can you believe it? We found it on
the street. Somebody actually threw it

away.

What, the apartment?

under the place. Yeah, you should have
seen it before we moved in. It was

Thank you.

It was Alvin's idea to put up this
curtain to separate the kitchen from the

dining room. Oh, that's nice.

So, where's this view of the Verrazano
Bridge?

Right this way.

Can I help you up there? No, no, I'll
just roll right on out.

That's the, uh, the cave from the Valley
Fair milk sign. Ah, does it blink all

the time?

Yeah, but we were lucky. The people next
door look out and see a bobbing cow's

head.

Okay, so this is it, huh? Yeah.

Well, now where's the break? It's over
there. Huh?

To the left. Ah.

Well, I just, I just see the toll
booths.

You see how they sparkle in the
twilight?

Yeah.

Sandra ought to set some chairs out here
on the windowsill and just have a good

time with some iced tea.

That's why we usually keep the window
closed.

There's a fire station next door.

Well, how do you sleep at night?

Oh, there isn't a fire every night.

Except when Sandra and I look into each
other's eyes.

Well,

I hope you're hungry. We're having
spaghetti.

I knew there was something that I
forgot.

The basil for the sauce.

Well, Sandra, there's a wonderful
produce market right up the street.

Why don't we just go there and get some?

Great idea.

You want to come, Dad?

No, I'll just stay here and talk,
husband talk with Alvin. Love that, Dad.

we'll be right back.

Okay.

Sandra, what's this?

Oh, I was going to tell you that at
dinner. I got a job at a restaurant

table. I thought you were applying to
the U .N. for a job as a tour guide.

But they postponed the interview for a
week, and we couldn't wait that long. We

really needed some money right away.

Why? Doesn't Elvin have money coming in
from his job? I was going to tell you

about that at dinner.

I lost my job.

The company had an efficiency expert
come and visit, and they decided they

needed 35 inspectors.

Now, don't worry, Mom and Dad.

Sandra spoke to the guys at her
restaurant, and they said that one of

busboys might be leaving soon and that
they'd be glad to give me a chance.

Sandra, let's go for the baby.

These are your degrees from Princeton?

Yeah. Fell down?

Yeah. Rather symbolic, don't you think?

Elvis? Yes, Dad?

How long are you going...

How

long?

How long are you going to keep my
daughter living like this?

Well, we have a five -year plan.

That's about as long as it'll take to
get the wilderness store off its feet,

then we'll move into a bigger place.

If you have a five -year plan, you don't
have a job.

Now, Dr. Huxtable, I understand your
concern, but do you know the story of

Milton Hershey?

Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't. Milton
Hershey went bankrupt six times before

it big in chocolate. Elvis, you're not
planning on taking my daughter through

bankruptcy six times?

Dad, I think I understand how you're
feeling.

No, no, I don't think you can because
it's my daughter.

Right, but I have to remind you that
your daughter is also my wife.

She was my daughter first.

But she's my wife now.

And she will always be my daughter.

But she wears my ring.

and braces that I paid for to keep her
teeth straight so she could live with a

man who's going to take her into
bankruptcy six times.

Dr. Huxtable, we could go on like this
forever, but what good would it do us?

I guess you're right, and I don't mean
to interfere, but I do think, Elvin, if

it's all right with you, I'd like to
help out with some money.

Money. Money!

Oh, no, thank you. Sandra and I
determined to make it on our own, but

Take it as a loan.

No. Listen, Milton Hershey would take
it.

Tonight was fun.

You know,

after we had been in the apartment for a
while, I started to get a warm feeling.

I think it was the heat from the hot
plate.

So we were doing the dishes, and Alvin
decided he would tell me the story of

Milton Hershey. Oh, yes, Alvin told me
that story also.

Yeah, well, then I decided I should tell
him the story of Ivan Marshall.

Now, who's Ivan Marshall? Well, you
wouldn't know Ivan Marshall, you see,

because he went bankrupt only once.

Then his creditors came to his
apartment, dragged him out in the

beat him up.

With our luck, Alvin's creditors would
beat us up.

Who is it?

It's Theo. I need to talk to you. It's
important.

Come in, honey.

Hi. Hey.

I want you both to know that I'm really
sorry about what Sandra Nelvin did to

you.

Well, it's okay.

No, I mean it. Now, you two were thrown
a curve.

If Sandra had come to you in her senior
year of high school and said, Mom, Dad,

I want to open a camping store, you
would have been braced for it.

But to do it after four years of college
was really unfair.

And I want you both to know that I would
never do that to you.

Thank you, Theo.

And that's why I'm telling you now that
I'm not going to college.

I'm going to open up my own business
right after I graduate from high school.

And where are you going to get the
money?

Well, that's why I'm here.

See, all you have to do is give me the
money you're going to spend on my

education now.

How much are we talking?

Well, I brought my calculator in this
research so he could figure it out.

Here you go.

Now, to go to Bennington College. Wait,
wait.

Bennington is the most expensive school
in the United States of America right

now. Yeah, but you and mom would have
wanted me to go to a top school.

Of course.

Yes. Good.

Now, tuition plus room and board will
cost $17 ,999.

Now, multiply that by four years and add
a 5 % increase each year for inflation.

Then add $7 ,000 for books and lab fees.

Lab fees?

I was going to be a chemistry major.

We would have been proud of him.

Thanks. Now, Bennington College is in
Vermont, so we have to figure in the

of coming home every weekend.

He would come home every weekend.

He's a good boy.

That comes to $8 ,000.

Now, plus $3 ,000 for incidentals. Don't
forget askadentals.

What's an askadentals?

Askadentals is the money you ask for
when you misspend the incidental money

asked for.

All right, I like that.

Okay, so we add on another $5 ,000 for
askadentals.

Okay, so the grand total is $112 ,500.

Mm -hmm.

That's pretty steep. Yes, it is.

But I'm willing to deal here.

Now, because you two are such great
parents, I'm going to take off 18%.

good. Absolutely.

It does?

Sure. Now, all you have to do is take
the college boards and be accepted to

Bennington as a chemistry major.

I'll tell you what.

If I don't get accepted into Bennington,
I'll take 50 cents on the dollar.

I think I'm going to tell you what.

If I were you, I would get out of this
room while I was ahead and alive.

Well, can I at least borrow $3 for some
pizza?

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.