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day of shopping. Did you get everything
you wanted? No.
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Hmm.
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Hoagie.
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What happened?
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Oh, we had a fight in Grindel's
department store.
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About what?
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Mega woman.
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Mega what?
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Mega woman. She's a doll. She's the
latest rage. The woman can stop laser
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and walk through walls. She has a
galactic necklace, a power ring, and an
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-matter suit.
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And I would imagine that these items are
sold separately.
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Yes. And not only that, there's a whole
family of them. There's a mega girl,
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there's a mega boy. She's married to a
mega man, and they all drive around all
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day. And a mega mobile.
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You should see what they cost.
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Mega bucks.
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A little doll this size cost $9. I said,
Rudy, I just bought you a doll. I'm not
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buying you another doll.
20
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Rudy had a mega fit.
21
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And I'm sure that you took out your anti
-fit galactic shield
22
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and saved the day.
23
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Yes, I did.
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Guess who called today?
25
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Who? Okay, I'll give you a hint. Is this
Dr.
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Heathcliff combustible?
27
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Oh, no, you don't mean Colonel Turner.
28
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Colonel Sanford B.
29
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Tailwind Turner. You want some mustard?
30
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Dah!
31
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:07,730
Vanessa took the message, and he said he
would call me sometime after lunch, and
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I know what he wants.
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A rematch.
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Oh, Cliff, you are not seriously
considering running against this man
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Absolutely.
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Cliff, you have such a short memory.
37
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Last year after that race, you spent
three days in bed, and I was the one who
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had to fill the ice packs with ice, and
I was the one who didn't get any sleep
39
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because every time you turned over, I
was the one who had to hear old Claire
40
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Malaise. Claire, Claire Malaise.
Malaise, Malaise.
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So why ruin that?
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Why ruin it by running a race? The only
thing I'm going to ruin is his pride.
43
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But, honey, you did that last year when
you won.
44
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No, we didn't win, dear. It was a tie.
45
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No, it was not. Cliff, you won.
46
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:35,650
Hey.
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Denise. What? The relay race your father
ran last year, who won?
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No, but it was a tie.
49
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I told you it was a tie.
50
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It was not a tie.
51
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It was a tie. Don't listen to the child.
She didn't have a good seat. She
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couldn't even see the finish line.
53
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Then we'll play the tape of the race.
Come on. We don't have to play the tape,
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Cliff. I mean, really, it's quite all
right. We don't have to play the tape.
55
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,750
Denise.
56
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:05,970
Denise, I told you never to say it was a
tie.
57
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:11,550
Honey, we just saw this tape last night.
Really, we don't need to see it again.
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00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,170
Yeah, Dad, I was mistaken. You won your
relay race.
59
00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:17,290
You know, we've seen this tape over a
thousand times. It's a wonder the thing
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00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,290
still in one piece.
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00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:21,009
Sit down.
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Dad.
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00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,590
Now,
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00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:26,970
turn this thing on.
65
00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:44,230
and he's still coming. Now watch this.
You are winning, Cliff. Look, look,
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00:05:44,230 --> 00:05:45,230
You're winning. No, no, no, no.
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00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:48,170
You're winning.
68
00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:56,450
No, no, no. Let your hair come. All
right, now slow it down.
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00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:58,610
Bow.
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00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,409
You won.
71
00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:02,269
Tie.
72
00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:03,310
It was a tie.
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00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:04,669
You won.
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00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:06,790
What's that? Okay, I'll run it again.
No.
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00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:15,250
I just finished running the tape of my
race. Really? Yeah. How come nobody
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called me?
77
00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:20,490
Well, sit down. I'll run it again for
you. Oh, well, I can't. I have to go to
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Cockwood's house, and he does not like
it when I'm late. Hey, I'll drive you.
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00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:24,730
Bye.
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00:06:25,430 --> 00:06:31,890
You know, I'm looking at the shape I was
in then, and I can see how he caught
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00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:34,730
me. But this year, I am ready.
82
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:36,290
Cliff, what are you trying to prove?
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00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,990
You're a bunch of middle -aged men
running around a track trying to
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00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:40,889
your youth.
85
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:45,210
No, not really. You're only as young as
you feel. It's all in the mind.
86
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,570
Oh, well, I'm glad to know that. That's
where I'll put the ice packs next time.
87
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,129
That's him.
88
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:56,290
Okay. All right, Cliff, you want to
race, you race. But I am out of it.
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00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:58,570
You're out of it? Oh, you teared it.
90
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:03,270
Huxtable residence.
91
00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:07,930
Is this Heathcliff Huxtable? Is this
Tailwind Turner?
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00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:10,190
The man?
93
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,760
I fought off in the relay race last
year.
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00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:17,460
Let me remind you of the rules of track,
sir. The person that crosses the finish
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00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:18,480
line first is the winner.
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00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:19,740
That was me.
97
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,640
But I have news for you.
98
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,540
I'm in shape this year.
99
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:28,020
I don't want to run against you. I want
you to run with me in a race for
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charity. Do what?
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00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,800
Scott Oakley can't run. I want you to
take his place on our relay team.
102
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:36,280
Uh, hold the phone just one second.
103
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:45,780
He doesn't want to run against me. He
wants me to run.
104
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,180
But he wants me to.
105
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,840
It's you and me together?
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00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,100
Together at the Penn Relays.
107
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,640
Penn Relays.
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00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:17,000
He wants me to run with him in the pen.
109
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:25,460
Thousands of people rooting for me at
the pen relays. It's all my
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00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,100
life I've wanted to run.
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00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,900
He wants me to run the anchor leg.
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00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,800
Dear, that's the leg of honor and glory.
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00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,360
In...
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00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:59,400
Well,
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00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,380
who are we running against?
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00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:07,440
That's the beautiful part. You're
running against Charlie Stevenson.
117
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,020
Stevenson set the conference record in
the Southeast?
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00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:12,820
When we were in college.
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00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,700
When was the last time you saw him?
120
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:19,720
Well, Tailwind, it's got to be, what, 30
years, I guess, I saw him.
121
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:27,320
He was about 5 '10", weighed 160 pounds,
and all legs, that's what I remember.
122
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,420
Now he's 5 '10", both ways.
123
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,480
Really?
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00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:39,700
Well, I'm sorry, I need some time to
think it over.
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00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:42,540
I need to know now. I accept.
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Welcome aboard.
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00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,520
Thank you.
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00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:06,920
Dear, Tailwind Turner, the fastest man
in the world,
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00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,620
is going to hand off...
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00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,020
To me, combustible, huxtable.
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00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,100
The fastest man in the universe.
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00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,900
Fast? Fast.
133
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,260
Faster than the speed of light?
134
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,640
Faster than the speed of light.
135
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,840
Good, then you'll be too fast for the
camera and there won't be a tape.
136
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:58,840
have known to do that.
137
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:01,660
You know who else could run fast?
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00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,680
Who?
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00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,400
Mega Woman.
140
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,560
I don't know her.
141
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,760
You would like her.
142
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,920
She could stop laser beams.
143
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,560
Really? And breathe underwater.
144
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,260
Oh, she's a fish.
145
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,580
of money please please if you get me
this you'll never have to give me
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00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:44,440
else again you mean if i buy you this
mega woman i don't have to buy you
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00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:50,740
gift present or anything for the rest of
my life right why i like this deal yes
148
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:55,280
indeed oh there's mom we'll ask mom
149
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,280
I don't have a job.
150
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,020
I'll get one. Doing what?
151
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,560
Cleaning up my room.
152
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,420
You already do that for free.
153
00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:20,240
No, wait a minute, Cliff. Suppose Woody
does extra work around the house. We
154
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,039
could pay him for that.
155
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,040
What do you want me to do?
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00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,280
Paint the kitchen.
157
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,700
No, no, no, no, no. You can start by
helping me clean out the cupboards.
158
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:30,680
Okay. I'll do it for $9.
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00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,780
It paid 50 cents.
160
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,240
I'll take that.
161
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,030
He wanted to get some sprints in.
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00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:48,190
I thought he ran this morning.
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00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:50,870
He did. But it's the day before the
race. He wanted to work out twice.
164
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,270
Twice a day?
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00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,710
Should he be doing that? I mean, he's
almost 50.
166
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:56,630
He's just 49.
167
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,450
50 is right around the corner, though.
Are you trying to say the 50's old age?
168
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:01,890
Well, yeah.
169
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,890
Well, then what's middle age?
170
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:06,950
Um, 25.
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00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,750
Well, then what does that make me?
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00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:13,590
Just right.
173
00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:17,270
I just said that.
174
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:18,650
I finished acting.
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00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,390
Good.
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00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,490
Can I have my 25 cents now? As soon as I
inspect your work.
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00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:27,930
Okay. Theo, you owe me a dollar.
178
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:29,149
For what?
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00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,350
I cleaned out your closet.
180
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:31,750
I didn't ask you to.
181
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,050
But I already did it. You owe me a
dollar.
182
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,570
Rudy, I'm not giving you a dollar.
183
00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:38,910
Then I'm messing it up.
184
00:13:39,530 --> 00:13:40,530
Mess you up?
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00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:41,930
Get away from me!
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00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:43,710
All right, you two.
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00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,200
story each other.
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00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:47,840
Mom, we're back.
189
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:54,340
No, Dad, that is not the way we act. You
do.
190
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:55,580
What are you talking about?
191
00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,780
Dad was acting all weird in the car.
192
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:04,780
Weird? All I did, dear, was act the way
my children act sometimes when they're
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00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,140
in the car and I'm driving.
194
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:11,920
Well, she was driving, I'm sitting on
the passenger side, and so I decided to
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00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:18,030
turn the radio up loud. and i had the
sound going so it's bouncing all over
196
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,730
car and i just sat there and i was just
197
00:14:20,730 --> 00:14:26,270
here's dad okay
198
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:33,490
sounds
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00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:37,590
like the three of you had a good time
you should have seen dad at this track
200
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:39,990
was great talk slow talk slow
201
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,760
real handsome. Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
202
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:51,520
We were very proud that he was our dad.
203
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:53,540
Until he got into the car.
204
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,340
Thank you for the ride.
205
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:02,080
I saw 19 today.
206
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:09,820
19? I was resting, recovering from my
400, and this 19 -year -old boy
207
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:13,460
was running the quarter, just
practicing.
208
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,820
And he went past me.
209
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,660
And I just watched it.
210
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,480
19.
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00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:29,740
And it had speed, it had power, it had
bounce.
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00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000
19.
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00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,900
Cliff, do you want to be 19 again?
214
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,100
Only if you'll be 19 with me.
215
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:45,460
Sure. And the children could be 49.
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00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:10,580
combustible axle.
217
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:16,660
Look at that stride, ladies and
gentlemen.
218
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,680
No one's ever seen a stride on a man
this old before.
219
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,380
Ladies and gentlemen.
220
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,820
Cliff. Yes, dear.
221
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:28,620
What time is it?
222
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,660
It's ten and a half hours before the
race.
223
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,180
Are you nervous?
224
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:36,720
No, just excited.
225
00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,130
Are you disappointed that the children
won't be there?
226
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,010
Oh, no, because I asked Dr.
227
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:49,150
Morrison to film the whole thing from
the time that I get on the field to the
228
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:54,090
time I take my victory lap so that they
can see it whenever they want to.
229
00:16:54,350 --> 00:16:56,450
Or you can see it whenever you want to.
230
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:04,010
I'm so excited about going there. You
know, I could run down to Philadelphia
231
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,010
right now.
232
00:17:05,770 --> 00:17:09,849
The only thing about it is the speed
limit is 55, and I might get it.
233
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:17,010
If we have a long drive tomorrow, honey,
we have to start early in the morning.
234
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:20,849
I don't need sleep. My body is well
-tuned.
235
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:24,490
Yes, I must admit, you are looking good.
236
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:39,320
are looking real good.
237
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,060
Well, I'm sorry I'm an athlete.
238
00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:05,140
company team.
239
00:19:29,439 --> 00:19:34,260
The anchor legs of the race will be run
by Heathcliff Huxtable and Charlie
240
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,260
Stevenson.
241
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,700
Struggling to get the baton to Charlie
Stevenson.
242
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,700
Huxtable moving out to a big lead.
243
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:08,660
Wait a minute. There seems to be a
substitute for Charlie Stevenson. We
244
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:11,300
have the name of the runner. Run the
anchor leg for the company team.
245
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,870
She's going to catch us, fool.
246
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,040
I ran against an Olympic champion.
247
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,720
I think you should be very proud of
yourself. You ran a good race.
248
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:44,100
Yes, I did. Yes, you did. Yes, I did. My
favorite part was the look on your face
249
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,220
when you realized that it was a woman
who had passed you.
250
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:53,120
And then the look on your face when you
realized that the woman was Valerie
251
00:21:53,120 --> 00:22:00,040
Briscoe Hooks. Well, they had to get a
three -time Olympic medal winner to
252
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,040
beat me.
253
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,380
and when she passed me, pet me on my
boom -boom.
254
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,600
Because she couldn't resist that fine
-tuned body.
255
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,220
How do you feel about what they did to
you?
256
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:21,580
Oh, are you kidding?
257
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:26,220
Tailwind set me up so good. I looked at
him, I started laughing.
258
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,100
Oh, I'll tell you what.
259
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:32,720
For 30 seconds, I thought the people
were cheering for me.
260
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,140
And then the next 30 seconds...
261
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,160
I knew they were laughing at me.
262
00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:41,700
I felt pretty good about this.
263
00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:44,400
Yes? Who is it?
264
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,240
Rudy! Come in.
265
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,300
Mega Woman wanted to say goodnight.
266
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,060
Well, goodnight, Mega Woman.
267
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,440
And how is Mega Woman enjoying her new
home?
268
00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:15,210
apart from her family, do we? No.
269
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:22,090
So I think that tomorrow you
270
00:23:22,090 --> 00:23:28,630
and I will get up and go down to the toy
store
271
00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:31,950
and give her back to her family.
272
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:02,890
The Cosby Show is taped in front of a
live studio audience.
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