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I'm Rudy.
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Tonight's show's starring Mr. Danny
Kaye. It's for all us kids, but you
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-ups should watch, too.
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I don't believe it.
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Cliff? Cliff.
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What's happening?
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Read this.
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Read this article.
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Right. Read this.
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What do you want me to read for? You
have to read this.
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Is it about me?
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Please, just read it.
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Water meters to be installed in city
dwellings.
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Read on.
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In an attempt to conserve the city's
water resources, the mayor has proposed
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installation of...
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meters to monitor water usage.
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We don't need a meter to conserve water.
We teach our children to conserve
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water. That's right.
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Don't we tell them not to leave the
water running while they brush their
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Don't we tell them that? Don't we tell
them not to take showers that take an
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hour? There you go. Well, you know what
the problem is.
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Our children don't listen to us.
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The problem is that the city is letting
these developers put up these high
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-rises all over the place, like the one
that's going up on the corner.
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Do you know that that high -rise will
bring a thousand more people into this
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neighborhood, and they're going to be
using our water?
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Water.
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The water meters will cost $350
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apiece, and you know who's going to pay
for that. Us.
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That's terrible.
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here for water meters, we're going to
write the city a letter.
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Hmm?
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We're writing the city a letter. We are?
Yes. Go ahead.
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Okay.
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What am I supposed to say?
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What?
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What is it, dear? What am I supposed to
say in this letter? To who?
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To the city.
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At this hour?
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About the water meters.
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The city's closed.
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Oh, look at this.
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Did you read this? What?
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It says, man dies because wife will not
let him sleep.
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You ready?
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Denise. What?
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Want to see a magic trick? You're going
to do a magic trick?
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Yeah, it's a good one. Okay, let's see
it.
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That one.
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Wait a second.
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What are you doing?
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Nothing.
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Noun gas.
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That one.
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Nope.
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So it's in that one, right?
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Right. Let's see it.
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Who? The city. They just issued a permit
which will allow that high -rise in the
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corner to add ten more floors.
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Good. Good?
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Theo, I don't think you understand what
this means. Not only is the city making
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us put in a water meter, there will be
fewer parking spaces, the schools will
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more crowded, and they will be using
even more of our water.
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That's terrible.
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Well, your son thinks it's good.
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Dad, mom's not seen the other side of
it. It's a beautiful building.
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It's providing jobs for a lot of people,
and it will increase the value of real
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estate in this area.
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Well, Theo, I am impressed.
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You have thought about this, haven't
you?
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He has ever since the day Cockroach told
him 55 stewardesses moved into the
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building here.
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Hey. Hey.
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Denise, they're adding ten floors to the
high -rise. What high -rise? The one on
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the corner.
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Building a high -rise on the corner?
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You know, this is the sorriest bunch of
children I have ever seen.
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Huxtable residence.
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Yes, hello, Mr. Chiara.
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Uh, just a minute. Is Peter here?
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Oh, yeah, he just came in a while ago.
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Yes, yes, he's here.
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He did what?
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Okay, we'll hold him here for you.
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All right, good enough.
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Peter has an appointment with Dr.
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Burns, and he's scared.
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Dr. Burns is a great dinner. Of course,
you know that and I know that, but Peter
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doesn't know it.
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Yes, but Peter does have a reputation
for fleeing from high -pressure
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situations.
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I hold in my hand a rubber ball.
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Watch this ball closely.
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Guess which hand has the ball.
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is to see you and i am so tired i now
have to sit down on this bed
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up here by the pillow so i'm just going
as a matter of fact
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i changed my mind i think i'll sit down
here at the end of the bed as a matter
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of fact i think i'll sit on the middle
of the bed and just
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That's no problem going to the dentist.
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Why don't you want to go?
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Okay. But I tell you, Dr.
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Burns is great.
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Isn't he? Dr.
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Burns is nice, Pierre.
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Yeah.
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Sometimes when I come from Dr. Burns, I
can talk funny.
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Because sometimes my lip is a little
tingly, you know?
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And people say, how are you doing? And I
say, are you Katie?
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And sometimes when my wife is talking to
me, she says, well, how are you
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feeling? I said, are you, Katie?
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And she said, does this hurt?
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And I say, oh, no.
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It didn't hurt me at all. He said, are
you, Katie?
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And he fixed the thing.
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Dr. Burns.
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Now, Peter, I would never go to anybody
but Dr.
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Burns. I'm telling you, Peter, you've
got nothing to worry about. He's a great
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dentist. Right, Rudy?
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Right. Peter, I've been going to him
since I was your age.
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Mr. Chiara, how are you, sir?
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Hi.
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We got him for you.
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Bye, Peter. Good luck at the dentist.
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Come on, Pete. Everything will be all
right, kid.
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It's going to be all right. Bye -bye.
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All right.
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Does it feel better if I come along? Can
I, Daddy?
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Well, it's up to Mr. Chiara.
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Okay. All right, Pete. You got a buddy
to go with you now.
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Here we go. We're brave together, having
a lot of fun. Look out, Dr. Burns.
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Take her to the eye doctor while you're
there.
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Isn't this nice?
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I'll go tell them we're here.
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Hello?
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Who said hello?
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Me! Oh, hello.
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I know you.
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You're Rudy Huxtable.
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Right. How are you? Fine. That's nice.
Do you have an appointment?
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No, I'm here with my friend Peter.
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Oh, I see. Which one is Peter? The
little one or the big one?
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The little one.
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The little one. You know something?
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He looks scared.
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He always looks like that. He does?
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I'll be out in one second.
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Like him. He's been a dentist for a long
time.
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Well, here we are. That wasn't so bad,
was it, James?
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Yes.
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I have other patients here, for heaven's
sake.
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Now you can pick out a toy, okay?
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No, not all of them.
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If you come in for a whole set of teeth,
you can have them all. Now you only
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have one.
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Hey, that's a nice one.
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Thank you, Dr. Burns. You're very
welcome.
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I'll take him home and wash his mouth
out with soap.
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It's been a long day, so I think I'll
get ready to go. You can't go!
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Why not?
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You're the dentist!
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Oh, for heaven's sake, you're right. I
am the dentist.
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Well, I'd better behave like one, huh?
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So, um, you are Peter, yes?
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And you're his father?
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I can see why you are related.
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00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:32,980
Peter, if you have any problem with your
teeth, you come and see me, yes? And I
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will fix it. He does.
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He does what?
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Have a problem with his teeth.
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Who? Peter.
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00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,420
Is that true, Peter?
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He was up all night with you. I didn't
ask you. I'm talking to the boy.
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Would you like to come inside with me?
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I'll go with you.
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Is that all right with you?
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00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,250
What about you? Is that all right with
you?
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We have a bunch of nodders. Don't go
away. We'll be out in two, three days.
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00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:02,270
Come with me.
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00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:10,650
Here we go. We come inside, and Peter,
just hop into the chair, and I will be
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with you in a minute.
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00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,310
Hop, hop, hop into the chair.
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00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:20,630
Peter, hop, jump, climb into the chair.
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00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,890
What do you think he's going to do? What
do you think we should do?
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We could push him. No, no, no. I have an
idea. Why don't we take him on a tour,
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come here, meet me, and then we start
with the left foot.
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00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:47,930
Here we go to the office, and the first
thing we show you here is my diploma.
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This is my diploma when I graduated from
dental school in 1776.
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Which ones? The ones on the shelf?
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00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:07,840
Yeah, these go on the shelf sometime,
too.
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00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,120
Here we are. Sit down. Share that place.
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00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,560
And we have the teeth.
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Aren't these nice?
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All right.
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Tell the story.
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00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:23,600
Oh, all right. Now, a long time ago,
these teeth walked into my office.
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00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,460
They didn't have an appointment. They
didn't have anything.
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00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,280
And I said, do I know you?
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00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,860
And they said, no.
200
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,470
but you've taken out some of our
friends.
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00:14:48,390 --> 00:14:50,930
And I said, what would you like?
202
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:54,830
And they said, we would like to come to
work for you. And I said, do you know
203
00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:56,490
how to type? And they said, no.
204
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,830
I said, well, how will you work for me?
And they said, well, we will sit on the
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00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:06,060
shelf. so that people can see what good,
healthy, strong teeth are supposed to
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00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,019
look like.
207
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:07,859
You see?
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00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:12,960
Now, that was a long time ago, 20,
almost four years ago.
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00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,660
And they've never missed a day's work,
which is more than I can say for my
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00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:19,660
receptionist.
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00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:26,780
All right, I will put these back, and we
will go on from here. Now, I have one
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00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,060
more thing to show you, Peter.
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00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:32,490
Because we have here an experimental
tooth shuttle.
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00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:36,150
You know what is a space shuttle?
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00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:39,010
This is a tooth shuttle.
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00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:42,890
And we have an instrument which makes it
go up.
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00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:47,590
And we have another instrument which
makes it go down. But we need an
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00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,150
Astronaut.
219
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:58,900
to the north.
220
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:05,380
Five, four, three, two. They're waiting
for you on the moon, Peter.
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00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,700
Three, two, one.
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00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,240
Oh!
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00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh, boy!
224
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,960
Oh, that's marvelous.
225
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,440
Now, Peter, if you will open your mouth,
I will see what's going on.
226
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,120
Just a little bit wider. It's not hard
like this.
227
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,100
You know, you want to hear a song?
228
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:44,460
Old MacDonald had a farm. E -I -E -I -O.
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00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,360
See? It's easy. You all want to sing
with me? Come.
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00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,839
to open his mouth.
231
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:29,800
And I think if you sit in the chair and
you show him that you're brave enough to
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00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,340
open your mouth, maybe he will open his.
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00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,280
Understand? Yes.
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00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,080
But you're not going to do it.
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00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,320
No.
236
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:39,640
You mean I'm in this alone?
237
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,120
Yes.
238
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,720
And my lip.
239
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,830
eat with us. And his mouth is still a
little sensitive.
240
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:38,650
Well, I think I'll make myself a steak.
241
00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:40,110
Oh, come on, Fred.
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00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:44,030
He's gonna feel badly if you're eating
steak and he's eating scrambled eggs.
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00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,310
I'll cover the steak up with the eggs,
okay?
244
00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:51,790
Dad, this woman at the door, she says
she has to see you. About what?
245
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:54,190
I don't know, but she's pregnant and
she's gonna deliver any minute.
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00:18:58,750 --> 00:18:59,990
Looking for someone?
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00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,990
There's no woman in here.
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00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,700
And you're not pregnant.
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00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:05,980
Not now, no.
250
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:12,160
Hello, Dr. Brown. Well, hello, Claire.
How are you? I'm fine. I'm glad to see
251
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:17,300
you. Now, Rudy left this in my office,
and I thought I would drop it by on the
252
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,400
way home. I heard you had a tough
patient today.
253
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,420
Yes, but I've had tougher.
254
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:30,100
Which reminds me it's been a long time
since I've seen you in my
255
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,100
office.
256
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:42,750
I was just in to see you. No, no, no,
no.
257
00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:45,610
My records show that it's been eight
months.
258
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:48,050
You have me confused with my son.
259
00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,690
No, no. Your son was in last week.
260
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:54,250
So how about Monday you come to see me?
No, no.
261
00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:56,990
Monday's no good for me.
262
00:19:57,810 --> 00:20:00,210
Tuesday? Tuesday's tighter than Monday.
263
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:03,530
How loose is Wednesday?
264
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,450
I don't think so.
265
00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:08,670
Wednesday's no good.
266
00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,810
Would you consider Fiesel Day?
267
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:15,010
No, Fiesel Day, we take the children out
to see the Fiesels.
268
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:20,870
Yeah. But you have Thursday afternoon
off. There you are.
269
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:25,710
Thursday you have off. I will see you 4
o 'clock, Thursday afternoon.
270
00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:27,810
Yes? To the door.
271
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,050
All right.
272
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:32,890
Thursday afternoon, I will see you at 4
o 'clock. Oh, doctor?
273
00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:34,370
Yes?
274
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:38,630
What? Will you show me the teeth?
275
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:48,450
Will you put me on the tooth shuttle?
276
00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:54,850
Well, you're getting a little big for
that, but, uh, yes.
277
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:57,710
Oh, by the way, Cliff.
278
00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:58,529
Yes, sir.
279
00:20:58,530 --> 00:20:59,570
When you're finished.
280
00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:00,809
Yeah.
281
00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:01,910
Just one toy?
282
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:10,010
But I let you kiss my wife.
283
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:12,250
Two toys?
284
00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:31,940
Cliff? Cliff?
285
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:34,120
Huh? Have you seen the paper?
286
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,640
Paper? Yes, today's newspaper.
287
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:38,100
Today's paper?
288
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,900
Uh, no.
289
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,980
No, I haven't seen it yet.
290
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,640
Cliff, I saw you with that paper at
dinner.
291
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:45,879
What dinner?
292
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:46,880
Tonight.
293
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:49,520
You're hiding it from me.
294
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,400
Why would I want to do that?
295
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,020
Because you don't need to read in bed.
296
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:59,320
Oh, stop it. You stop it. I will find
the paper. Yeah, go ahead. Look. Ha, ha,
297
00:21:59,320 --> 00:21:59,939
ha, ha.
298
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:01,340
Ha, ha. Not there.
299
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,580
Now stop it.
300
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:05,460
I don't know where the paper is. The
paper is gone. Wait.
301
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,700
It's under the pillows, isn't it? No.
302
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,060
Move your head.
303
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,560
Hiding the paper from your wife. That is
so childish.
304
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,500
Dear, the reason why I do that is
because you come over here, you get in
305
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:27,780
bed, and then you open it up and you
read something. You get excited, you get
306
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:28,920
angry about it.
307
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:33,300
Now, you promised me you're not going to
get angry about anything. I promise you
308
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,800
I'm not going to get angry about
anything. Okay, just come over here. And
309
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,280
do, I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
310
00:22:37,740 --> 00:22:38,740
Good, good.
311
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
All right.
312
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,320
That's wonderful.
313
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,180
Okay. Now, you just get in there. Good
night.
314
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:46,800
Good night, dear.
315
00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:49,500
Now, you're not going to get upset.
316
00:22:50,030 --> 00:22:51,170
I'm not gonna get upset.
317
00:22:51,510 --> 00:22:52,710
Okay. We'll see.
318
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,060
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