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Three. One, two, three.
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Okay, Rudy, your question is, who said,
I have not yet begun to fight?
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Papa Smurf.
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Rudy, you've answered every question,
Papa Smurf.
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Is this wrong?
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Of course it's wrong.
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Papa Smurf never said, I have not yet
begun to fight.
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Who did?
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Clint Eastwood.
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This game's too hard for me.
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Possible resident.
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Yeah, she is. Hold on for a second.
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Vanessa, you have a phone call from a
boy.
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A boy?
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Has he got the right number?
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It's probably just about some homework.
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He doesn't have that homework sound.
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Whoa.
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I'll take you to the kitchen.
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You guys hang up the second I get on.
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Then listen. No.
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Can I help you? Yeah, you're a little
combustible, all right.
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00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,900
Who? That's a name we used to call your
father way back in the old days. Your
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00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:07,900
father at home, I'm Ernie Scott.
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Oh, yeah, hey.
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He told us you were coming. Weren't you
Dad's old track coach at Hillman
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College? Do I look like I could be your
father's old track coach?
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Don't answer that.
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Yes, as a matter of fact, I was his
assistant coach.
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And I got all these stray hairs from
trying to drag your father to practice.
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Okay, I'll go tell Daddy that you're
here. Thank you. You know, Dad has this
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great picture of you when you're lifting
him up in the air after he won this big
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race. I don't think I was lifting him up
in the air. I think I was just trying
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to carry him back to the locker room
after he had collapsed on me. What
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happened? Nothing, nothing. That's just
what he would usually do. After every
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race, just collapse.
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Stadium would be clearing out. He'd
still be lying there. Wait a minute. I
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understand.
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People would be walking by him and
nobody picked him up?
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That's because he said, please, please.
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don't touch me.
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Well, they'd have to mold the grass
around them in the morning.
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Vinnie!
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You got the pepper? I got the pepper.
45
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,350
Hey, Cliff, our boy.
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You got, oh, you got something else
here, too.
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All right, come on, tell me what you've
been doing besides gaining weight.
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The same belt size I had when I was in
college. Yeah, that's right.
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You used to wear it a little different
place, though, didn't you?
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You're looking at a man who changed my
entire life. Before I met this man, I
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happy.
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And then he made me run the 440.
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Now, look here, Cliff. I've come by to
see you because, well, as you know, I go
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00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:40,280
to a lot of these Masters track meets.
What's that?
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Track meets for people over 35 who still
want to compete.
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Yeah, and at every one I go to, I see
all your old teammates.
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There's Tommy Fields, there's Reggie
Struthers, Tucson Jackson.
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Well, how are they doing? They're in
terrific condition. I mean, of course,
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00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,540
have to be, you know, when you're going
to compete at that level. I mean,
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00:03:56,540 --> 00:04:00,640
they're running against guys like Benny
Moore, like Whitfield, Sanford B,
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Tailwind Turner.
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Tailwind Turner. That's right.
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00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,480
He's still running? Yeah, that's right.
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00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:09,820
Who's Tailwind Turner?
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00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,240
The only man ever to beat your father.
Remember that?
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Pin relays. Hillman College versus
Norton University. Battle of the two
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Anchorman, Sanford B., Tailwind, Turner,
Heathcliff, Combustible, Huxtable.
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00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,820
Let me tell you something.
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00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:35,320
It came to the Anchorman, Tailwind, and
Dad.
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I call myself Combustible because boom,
and I explode.
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They had a 20 -yard lead.
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Tailwind took off. I felt him.
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I got the baton, and I took off. Now,
this is a pin relay. You got about 43
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00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,330
,000 people talking about war.
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00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,730
I got to hold back, you understand. I
can't listen to the crowd, so I'm
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00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:02,629
to myself.
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00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:04,030
I said, we use intelligence.
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00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,630
Stay loose, long, hard strides.
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00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:09,850
Pull out my fishing rod.
80
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:15,790
and put a hook dead in his back and
started to reel him in.
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00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:23,270
Started coming back to me. And I'm
staying smooth, bottom lip just
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00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:28,430
Came around the turn. Now I'm five yards
off of him, man. I said to myself,
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00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:30,750
combustible, bust him out.
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00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:35,990
And I'm up on his shoulder and I hear
the crowd say, whoa!
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00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:41,370
And I did a body check, and the body
said, go ahead.
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00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:47,810
The body said, go ahead. Said, if you
want him, go get him. And I said, look
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00:05:47,810 --> 00:05:51,750
out. And this man started to edge over.
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00:05:52,130 --> 00:05:56,830
In other words, he was pushing me.
Without touching me, he's pushing me.
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00:05:56,830 --> 00:06:02,210
me from lane two to lane six, almost up
in the stands. Now, wait a minute, wait
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00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:05,110
a minute. Turner said he never ran you
wide.
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00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:06,890
He's a liar.
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00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,510
It's been going on for 26 years.
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00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:12,410
Until finally, last week, it all came to
a head.
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00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:13,770
What do you mean, to a head?
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00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:17,570
I challenged him to a rematch. You did?
Yes, sir. Good, good, good.
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00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:21,010
Hillman versus Norton. Three weeks from
Saturday, it's going to take place at
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00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:24,050
the Masters meet at the Meadowlands.
Well, good. My family and I, we're going
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00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,970
get tickets and we're going to come out
and watch it.
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00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,660
out of shape. Dad, you're in good shape.
You jog a couple of times a week.
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00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,500
To jog is to go pit, pet, pit.
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00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:49,140
To run the 440 is to go fish, fish,
fish, fish.
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00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:52,880
How much did you weigh in college?
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00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,360
175. How much you weigh now?
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175.
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00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:59,500
With your clothes off?
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00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000
206.
107
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:08,399
And guess what?
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00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,620
What? Dad is running against Tailwind
Turner.
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00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,280
I never said I was running anything.
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00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:16,980
Tailwind Turner?
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00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:21,360
Yes. That tired little toad. Claire. Oh,
now, come on. If you know you wouldn't
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00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,560
have caught him that day, honey, you
should have seen your father.
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He took off like a streak of lightning,
honey. He had on white shoes with red
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shoelaces that I had bought him myself.
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I was looking smooth, wasn't I, dear?
You were looking awesome.
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Yes.
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Only time I've ever...
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This man run the last 100 yards of the
race without tying up. Coming around
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curve. Smooth as whistle in the wind.
Little head turn.
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00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:50,640
He was overtaking me. He was getting
ready to pass him. And then this little
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00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:55,300
sneaky snake starts to edge over and
tries to push your father up to the top
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00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,300
the stand.
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00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,320
And he only beat me by half a step.
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00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:03,760
Oh, no, no, no, no. Turner has been
bragging for years.
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00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,140
that he'd beat you by a full ten yards.
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00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,640
No, he didn't say that. Yes, he did. No,
he didn't. He said he had already had
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00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,320
his sweatpants on and was eating himself
a hot dog by the time you staggered
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00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,320
across the medical aisle.
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00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:19,280
You know he wouldn't say that to my
face.
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00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,700
He said he would say that to your face.
He said the only problem is you probably
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00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,820
wouldn't recognize him because all
you've ever seen is the back of his
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He said that?
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That's what he said?
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He said that, huh?
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That's what he said.
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00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:47,740
Dad?
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Yeah? Haven't we been doing this long
enough?
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You cannot loosen up too long.
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00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,120
This is what you want to do.
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00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,500
Three 600s, four 300s. That's right.
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Do me a favor. I want you to start out
with a 200.
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00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:07,440
You run a 200 like I showed you before.
Stay relaxed. Keep your elbows pumping,
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lifting, running.
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00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,240
Stay loose. No problem. Over here. Here
we go.
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Stay relaxed.
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Don't get excited, right? That's it!
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29 .8. That's okay.
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00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,640
That's great, isn't it? That's okay.
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I'm going around twice.
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I won't stop here. Twice.
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Okay.
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00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:59,020
No,
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00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,260
you don't yell ready.
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00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:05,220
I'll let you know. When my arm drops,
then you hit the watch.
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00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:36,350
You're looking good.
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00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:38,990
You're looking good, Dad. Come on.
You're looking good. All right. Come on.
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00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:39,990
on, Dad.
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00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,930
Looking good, Dad. Come on. Looking
good. Looking good. Come on.
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00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:52,950
We didn't go.
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00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,600
Dad, what's the matter? You said you
were going to do two laps. You got a
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00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,700
lap to go. No, it's fine.
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00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:13,340
Fine, but look. I'm sorry. Look, you
said you were going to do three 600s and
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00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,360
four 300s. But we don't need to do those
today.
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00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,880
This is in case I wasn't in shape, and
I'm in shape now.
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00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,440
You want to see your time? No.
166
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,840
Let's go home.
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00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000
Home?
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00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:31,610
How do you do? Please don't touch me.
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00:12:33,790 --> 00:12:35,250
You weren't out there very long.
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00:12:35,770 --> 00:12:36,970
I went out there.
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00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:45,510
I said I was going to run three 600s and
a couple of
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400s. So I took off on a 400, which is
two laps around.
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00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:54,890
And the first lap, I stayed pretty
small.
174
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:58,930
But then I went behind the bleachers.
175
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,100
And the bear was waiting for me.
176
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:12,080
And the bear gave me a sofa and a
refrigerator and
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00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:16,160
wanted me to carry it for the rest of
the race.
178
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,700
I started hurting all over.
179
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,360
It started to get warm.
180
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,280
My lungs wanted oxygen.
181
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,220
I was trying to give them everything I
could take in.
182
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:38,640
And then my lungs got confused and
wanted to see what was happening.
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00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:42,220
And so they came out.
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00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:45,380
Oh, Cliff.
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00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:48,360
The first day is always the hardest. You
have to give yourself a chance.
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00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,880
Every person that Ernie has lined up is
in shape.
187
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,120
I'm not going out there and embarrass
myself.
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00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:56,580
Okay.
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00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,230
Claire. Yes?
190
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,890
Would you bring the shower down here?
191
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,470
Dr.
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00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,270
Huxtable here.
193
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,110
Is this Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable?
194
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,170
Yes, it is. Who's speaking?
195
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:20,190
This is Colonel Sanford B. Turner,
better known to you as Tailwind.
196
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,310
Yeah, Tailwind, how you doing?
197
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,800
on the coach of the track team here.
198
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,040
Oh, yeah?
199
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:34,400
Well, the rumor is that you and your old
cronies from Norton are looking for
200
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,140
some kind of rematch. That's right, and
I heard that you have a long, long way
201
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:39,140
to go to get the pepper.
202
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,560
Ha! Well, I got enough pepper to
sprinkle on your little head.
203
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,220
Carl, I'm the guy that gave you a full
-course cinder dinner some years ago.
204
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,499
Gave me a what?
205
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,220
You know, cinder dinner. You ate all the
cinders I kicked up in your face.
206
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:57,700
I guess what you're saying is, You want
to eat a little bit of something
207
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,700
yourself, huh?
208
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,780
I'll see you on the track, and if you
can't find your way there, I'll send a
209
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:03,459
for you.
210
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,520
Well, I think you better keep it,
because after the race, you'll need
211
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,600
to take you to the cemetery.
212
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:49,969
Elbows in.
213
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,010
Pump the arms.
214
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,290
Bring it around.
215
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:53,670
Here it comes.
216
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:54,970
All right.
217
00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:55,869
Hit it.
218
00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:58,970
Now keep your elbows in. Keep them in.
Keep them in. Keep them in. Come on,
219
00:16:58,970 --> 00:16:59,849
that's it. Relax.
220
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:03,830
All right. No, no, no. Here, slap it in.
You got to slap it in. I'll hurt you.
221
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:05,730
No, no, don't. Just slap it in. Come on.
222
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,210
Dad?
223
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:17,560
Huh? Do I look... okay for Leon's
birthday party? Well, I mean, Leon is in
224
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,560
trouble.
225
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,020
Thank you.
226
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:24,680
I'm sorry I'm gonna miss your race. I'm
sorry I'm gonna miss Leon's birthday
227
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,900
party. Beautiful, Vanessa.
228
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,460
Thank you, Rudy.
229
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,080
Dad, could I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah, sure.
230
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,060
Privately. It's about boys.
231
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,440
Excuse me.
232
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,400
You could wave it to people who are
coming in later.
233
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:58,680
Dad, this is serious.
234
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,160
Okay. All right, now the slow record
comes on.
235
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,860
Baby, what?
236
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,200
Uh, Vanessa?
237
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,600
Hmm?
238
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,440
You don't mash your body.
239
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,560
You're not going to mash your body.
240
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,960
Now, step back 12 inches.
241
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:37,180
Thanks, Dad.
242
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,120
All right.
243
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,340
You got the pepper?
244
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,700
I got the pepper. All right.
245
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:48,960
Oh, good luck. Honey, we'll be right up
in the stands.
246
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,220
We'll be rooting for you, Daddy.
247
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:54,140
Okay, now, Ernie, I want you to make
sure that Cliff's red shoelaces are tied
248
00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:57,500
tightly, that he's properly warmed, and
that he doesn't pull anything.
249
00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:58,780
Do it to him, Dad.
250
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,280
Come on. I ask you, have you got the
pepper?
251
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,460
I've got the pepper. All right, come on.
We've got to go smoke now. Come on.
252
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:06,920
I hope he wins.
253
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,420
I hope he comes out of it alive.
254
00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:16,980
great tonight.
255
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,660
Thank you. And I don't care what anybody
says, it was not a tie.
256
00:23:22,140 --> 00:23:23,540
Beat that little weasel.
257
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:28,220
I think I beat him, too. And looked
good, didn't he? Did I look good? Oh,
258
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:31,580
were so cute in your little shorts and
muscles rippling.
259
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:33,160
Oh, my goodness, rippling.
260
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,900
Long, beautiful strides. Oh, yeah.
261
00:23:39,340 --> 00:23:40,540
You know what else?
262
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:45,490
I really feel good. My stomach is
flattened out a little bit from those
263
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:47,970
workouts. It's really good for me.
264
00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:53,490
Why don't you turn out the light?
265
00:23:57,510 --> 00:24:04,350
I would,
266
00:24:04,490 --> 00:24:06,210
but I'm so stiff I can't.
267
00:24:35,630 --> 00:24:38,010
Because the show is taped in front of a
live studio audience.
21380
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