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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:02,679 Hi, sweetheart. 2 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,519 Hi, F. 3 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,220 Well, how was the charming and beautiful Mrs. 4 00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,520 Huxtable's day in court? F. 5 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:09,820 Well, 6 00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:13,980 you get them next time. Oh, that's what you said the last time. 7 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,860 Well, then in that case, you blew it. Well, thank you. 8 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:19,580 Hi, Mom. 9 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,340 Vanessa, it is almost dinner time. 10 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,500 Dad made me do it. 11 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,240 I said she could have a snack. 12 00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:31,910 After she practiced the clarinet. 13 00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,130 So did she? 14 00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:34,370 Did you? 15 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,250 Did a what? 16 00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:39,570 Practiced the clarinet for the recital. 17 00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,050 You didn't make me. 18 00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:46,270 Will you tell your daughter how important this is? 19 00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,570 What, you planning on leaving town right away? 20 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:54,830 Explain to this girl that she's got a featured solo in less than a week. 21 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:57,650 But dear, the girl is standing right there. 22 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,890 Vanessa. Vanessa, I want you to practice. 23 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,690 I will, as soon as I finish my homework. 24 00:02:09,949 --> 00:02:11,170 How much do you have? 25 00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,910 I have a history essay on the Hundred Years' War. 26 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:15,950 Okay, how long will it take? 27 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,410 About 15 minutes. 28 00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,430 Well, that's not bad. That's seven years a minute. 29 00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:23,830 That's if I want a D. 30 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:25,330 What if you want an A? 31 00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:26,790 About an hour tops. 32 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:29,550 Go for the A. 33 00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:48,140 Okay. 34 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,300 There, that better? 35 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,540 No. 36 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,940 What am I supposed to do? 37 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,780 When Mary Lopez's father kisses her, he says, I love you, Mary. 38 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,180 I love you, Mary. 39 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,160 Mr. Lopez is a troublemaker. 40 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,880 You know what? 41 00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:27,260 What? Mary can have a snack any time she wants. 42 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,599 Oh, really? 43 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,600 Oh. 44 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,560 Mom's in the kitchen. 45 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,360 What? 46 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,240 My sentiments exactly. 47 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:44,920 Well? 48 00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:48,700 Vanessa promised she would practice. When are we going to learn? 49 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,220 First, it was Denise and her ice skating lessons. We buy the ice skates, the 50 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:56,440 outfits. She left two weeks. Then there's Theodore and his karate lessons, 51 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,300 and a half. But we didn't go for too much there. 52 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,260 All we paid for was a white bathrobe and a couple pieces of wood. 53 00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:09,200 How much did we go for with the clarinet? 54 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:13,600 Oh, well, you know how we agree that when a child shows an interest in 55 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,780 something, it's our parental duty to nurture it? 56 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,019 Right. Well, what did run us? 57 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,160 Not like we're hard up for money or anything. 58 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:25,700 What did it run us? And you know, you're not going to believe this, but in the 59 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,300 long run, it's a lot cheaper than renting. 60 00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:30,060 What did it run us? 61 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,100 $245. 62 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,880 $245? 63 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,420 But that included the case. 64 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,840 Well, it better include a set of lips. 65 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,970 last two matches? That's because I toyed with you. 66 00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,750 Go ahead. Put it down. 67 00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,770 Do I talk when you're moving pieces? 68 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:22,949 Let's go. 69 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:23,950 Time is money. 70 00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:27,270 You don't even have a job. What money? 71 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,790 Time is money. Time and money. 72 00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:36,530 Time is money. Me, you know, I have a job. Not planning on getting a job and 73 00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:37,530 can't even... 74 00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:51,860 Queen check. 75 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,920 I know a check when I see one, man. 76 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,180 I'm the person who taught you how to play, you remember? 77 00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:00,760 Yeah, he did a good job. 78 00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,140 Are you playing chess or are you calling for the bellhop? 79 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,280 Have we moved closer to the river? 80 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:21,970 blowing to the right end? 81 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:31,970 I think she just 82 00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:32,970 killed a goose. 83 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,960 It'll be great. And I hate to do it alone. 84 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,260 I don't think so. Ask Daddy to do it with you. Are you kidding? That's worse 85 00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:19,260 than doing it alone. 86 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:21,680 Come on, Claire. 87 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,060 Get the lead out. And lift those knees. 88 00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:25,420 Snap it up, woman. 89 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,720 Talking about jogging? What time do you want to go? 90 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,780 I don't. All right, 7 o 'clock. 91 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,700 Oh, oh, please. 92 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,140 No, come here. 93 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,340 Here, here, here, here. Where did you get this from? 94 00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,030 This is not a toy. This is a goose killer. 95 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:55,150 Hi, Daddy. 96 00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,550 Vanessa, do you know how much we paid for that? 97 00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:08,990 No. 98 00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:11,630 $245. Two, four, five. 99 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,300 can be purchased with $245? 100 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,540 Hmm? You can get breaks for six Chevys. 101 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:29,460 You can purchase a ticket to the London Philharmonic Orchestra in London and 102 00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:33,539 sit on the same row as the Queen. 103 00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:39,780 Dad, I do appreciate you buying this for me. If you appreciate it, why is Rudy 104 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:44,020 walking around dragging it down the steps, twirling it like a baton? 105 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,239 She is? 106 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:50,640 Yes. Dad, I'm telling you, you have to nail stuff down around here. 107 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:58,020 Some time ago, young lady, you came to us and you said you would do anything 108 00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:03,320 if we would allow you to take up the clarinet. Now, what happened? 109 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,800 Dad, I just don't like it anymore. 110 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,360 And neither does Janet Miser. She quit two weeks ago. 111 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,460 So that means you have to quit too? 112 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,200 except there's only two of us. 113 00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,200 Couldn't I switch to gymnastics? 114 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,200 No. 115 00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:27,140 Is this the money? I mean, Janet's father hocked her clarinet and got $40 116 00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:32,740 it. $40? I paid two for it. Look, you agreed to be in that recital. They are 117 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,740 counting on you. 118 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,260 Dad, they won't even miss me. Who's going to play the clarinet solo? 119 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,780 The tuba can do it. 120 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:45,330 No, you can quit later. We'll talk about it. But you have... a responsibility to 121 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:50,890 go through with that recital. Now, you are going to do it. Now, I want you to 122 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,030 practice. Do you understand? 123 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:53,490 I understand. 124 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:55,630 All right. You do understand me? 125 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:58,550 Yes. All right, then. You okay? 126 00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,610 I'm okay. Okay. Now, is there anything you need? 127 00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,070 No. You sure? 128 00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:07,010 Positive. You don't want, uh, brighter lights in the room? 129 00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:09,350 No. How about a pot of coffee? 130 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,010 No. All right. Now, don't forget. 131 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,400 You got a responsibility. 132 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,620 Practice. Right? 133 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,060 I'll do my best. 134 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,800 That's all I'm asking for. 135 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,600 Part of responsibility. 136 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,960 So, he wouldn't let you out of it, huh? 137 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,800 No. Did you get his responsibility speech? 138 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,260 Yeah. Long or short version? 139 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,600 The long version. 140 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,920 With a pot of coffee. 141 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,920 Uh -huh. So, what'd you tell him? 142 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,520 I told him I'd do my best. 143 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,900 Was that your best? 144 00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,220 Yeah. 145 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,180 And the recitals went? 146 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,720 In five days. 147 00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:22,450 I'm not jogging with you. Yes, you know that deep down inside you want to. 148 00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:27,370 You know that you're going to wake up in the morning with an irresistible urge 149 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:29,710 to go jogging with your husband. 150 00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,110 Jogging with all that? 151 00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:34,570 Looks like you're going on a face walk. 152 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:40,590 Claire, in order to go jogging and do it properly, you must have the necessary 153 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,450 equipment. Clip. 154 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:46,170 Why can't you be satisfied with a nice, pleasant jog in the park? 155 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:53,210 Because serious joggers are not satisfied with a nice, pleasant 156 00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,350 jog in the park. 157 00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:04,150 Now, I have this, which measures the distance, this, which measures 158 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:10,050 the time that I ran the distance in, and this, which measures the hydro... 159 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,480 ratio, you say? It means wet. 160 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,640 Yes. Okay. 161 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,440 Cliff, jogging with you is not fun. 162 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:23,060 Claire, let me tell you. You want to talk about fun? 163 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,740 You want to talk about what is fun? 164 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,740 This is the way I jog. 165 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,080 See, I'm serious. 166 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,920 I have the pepper. 167 00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:34,140 You understand? 168 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,360 I have the pepper. This is the way I'm moving. 169 00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:49,720 jobs must have at least three of these tucked here and then she burst 170 00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:23,750 in full speed carrying 59 pounds of unnecessary equipment while you scream, 171 00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:26,490 it, Claire, move it. No pain, no gain. 172 00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:33,250 Now, we always get in an argument and I end up walking home alone and... I hate 173 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,370 jogging with you. 174 00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:40,190 Okay. And whoever's up at this hour had better have a good excuse. 175 00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:42,170 I can't sleep. 176 00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,370 Good enough? 177 00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:45,630 What's the matter, honey? 178 00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:49,650 Let's recital. 179 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:55,550 Why? 180 00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:58,930 I have a sore throat. 181 00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,470 The recital's in four days. 182 00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:05,010 It's one of those slow -building sore throats. 183 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,170 Vanessa, it's after midnight. 184 00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:09,690 Now, what's wrong? 185 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:10,990 Mom, I'm worried. 186 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,210 What are you worried about? 187 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,910 You've heard me practicing. 188 00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,150 I'm really bad, aren't I? I think you're doing pretty well. 189 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:22,510 11 years old, nobody's asking you to play like Benny Goodman. 190 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,130 Who? 191 00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:31,210 Look, you're going to be just fine. I can understand your doubts. I had the 192 00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:33,270 doubts when I went out on my first date. 193 00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:37,350 Dad, this is not the same thing. You have to practice to do this. 194 00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:41,990 Listen, I'm telling you, my first date, I had to practice. 195 00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:50,430 Now, when I was 13 and a half years old, My voice was cracking, and I was 196 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:53,890 embarrassed about it. And people would say, what is your name? 197 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,390 And I'd say, my name is Heathcliff Huxtable. 198 00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:02,530 And I didn't want to sound like that. I wanted to sound smooth and mature. 199 00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,090 So I practiced. 200 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:06,050 What is your name, son? 201 00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:07,550 Heathcliff Huxtable. 202 00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:10,170 Heathcliff Huxtable. 203 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:14,910 Heathcliff Huxtable. And then I began to practice my smiles. I had three of 204 00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,190 them. I had a full smile. 205 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,440 I had a three -quarter smile. 206 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,920 And then I had a quarter smile. 207 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:34,240 And I practiced all of those things. And then the night of my date, I walked up 208 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,440 to the house. I was nervous, but I had practiced. 209 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:42,020 I rang the doorbell, and the father opened the door, and he said, what do 210 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,580 want? And I said, my name. 211 00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:47,240 And I ran away. 212 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,640 ran for about a block, and then I stopped myself, and I said, no, no, no, 213 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,680 practice. Go back there. Give it to him. Three -quarter, one -quarter, full. 214 00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:00,600 And I went back, and I rang that bell, and he said, who are you? And I said, my 215 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,700 name is Heathcliff Huxtable. 216 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,600 Now, do you understand that? 217 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,440 Yes. All right. And so, now, you feel better? 218 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:13,920 No. 219 00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:48,670 Checkmate! That's four in a row for the man on the comeback trail. 220 00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:52,230 Dad, you're a bad loser, but you're a worse winner. 221 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:02,480 Boo. Wait a minute, Dad. Hold on. 222 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,339 Was there something troubling you, son? 223 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:09,300 No. What? Are you looking for rain? 224 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,700 No. 225 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:18,060 Perhaps are pennies from heaven being played on the clarinet by your sister? 226 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,579 Hey, I don't know what you're talking about. 227 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,280 Well, forget it. She's not playing till Mr. Hampton gets here. 228 00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:26,519 When's that? 229 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520 Soon. 230 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:28,940 Hampton? 231 00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,270 Mr. 232 00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:43,790 Hampton is coming to give your sister some instructions on the clarinet. 233 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:48,710 He told me he knew you when you were a little boy. 234 00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:49,990 That's true. 235 00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:55,110 Mr. Hampton is an old friend. He was a music teacher when I was in school. 236 00:17:59,659 --> 00:18:03,220 Some. Did they have potato chips? 237 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,620 Yes, we had potato chips. 238 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:19,680 Did they have TV? 239 00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,620 No, they didn't have TV. 240 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,400 I do some for you. 241 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,670 Me too, Mr. Hampton. 242 00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,530 Vanessa! 243 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:58,250 Yes, Dad? 244 00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,510 Come on down, please, hon. 245 00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:01,350 Yeah, yeah. 246 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:04,310 Mr. Hampton, what are you doing here? 247 00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:08,450 Got us a little insurance policy on the recital. 248 00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:10,090 He's going to take my place? 249 00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:14,650 No, he's going to give you private lessons. 250 00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,690 Come on, let's get started. 251 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:41,840 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. That 252 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:47,460 was Bobby Tucker on the bassoon, giving you his rendition of... 253 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,950 Flight of the bumblebee. 254 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,110 Looks more like a wounded moth. 255 00:20:57,230 --> 00:21:00,770 In just a moment now, we will hear from our beginner's class. 256 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:02,390 That's me. 257 00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:03,910 Good luck, honey. 258 00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:06,990 Better be good. I gave up hanging out with my friends to see this. 259 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,590 Go get them, kid. 260 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,570 Hey, where are you going? 261 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,110 My kid already played. 262 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,410 Who, the bumblebee? 263 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:19,550 than my kids going on. I'm paying $4 an hour for parking. 264 00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:22,690 Yeah, well, I don't care about $4. I paid $6. 265 00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:25,890 Come on. Watch my kid. 266 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:32,290 And now, ladies and gentlemen, our beginner's class with their medley of 267 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:35,970 songs was soloed by Miss Vanessa Hudson. 268 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:25,270 Master of the mouthpiece, Wizard of the Whitwoods. No autographs, please. 269 00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:28,270 She's going to be impossible to live with. 270 00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:31,430 Okay, way to go, Vanessa. 271 00:23:31,690 --> 00:23:33,530 Yeah, you were real good. 272 00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:38,110 Well, now that you're a star, what are you going to do? 273 00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:40,970 Beauty? Enjoy. 274 00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:42,350 Oh, boy! 275 00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:45,250 $245. 276 00:23:45,530 --> 00:23:46,530 Vanessa. 277 00:23:50,410 --> 00:23:53,590 well this evening. Don't you want to at least reconsider? No, not really. 278 00:23:55,190 --> 00:23:56,190 Gymnastics. 279 00:23:56,710 --> 00:24:01,130 Janet Miser hated gymnastics. Really? What's she doing now? 280 00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:02,390 Horseback riding. 281 00:24:02,730 --> 00:24:04,630 Horseback riding? We're renting. 282 00:24:33,130 --> 00:24:36,590 The Cosby Show is videotaped in front of a live studio audience. 21254

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