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1
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:02,679
Hi, sweetheart.
2
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Hi, F.
3
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,220
Well, how was the charming and beautiful
Mrs.
4
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,520
Huxtable's day in court? F.
5
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:09,820
Well,
6
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you get them next time. Oh, that's what
you said the last time.
7
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,860
Well, then in that case, you blew it.
Well, thank you.
8
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:19,580
Hi, Mom.
9
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Vanessa, it is almost dinner time.
10
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Dad made me do it.
11
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I said she could have a snack.
12
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After she practiced the clarinet.
13
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So did she?
14
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:34,370
Did you?
15
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,250
Did a what?
16
00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:39,570
Practiced the clarinet for the recital.
17
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,050
You didn't make me.
18
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:46,270
Will you tell your daughter how
important this is?
19
00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,570
What, you planning on leaving town right
away?
20
00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:54,830
Explain to this girl that she's got a
featured solo in less than a week.
21
00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:57,650
But dear, the girl is standing right
there.
22
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,890
Vanessa. Vanessa, I want you to
practice.
23
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,690
I will, as soon as I finish my homework.
24
00:02:09,949 --> 00:02:11,170
How much do you have?
25
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,910
I have a history essay on the Hundred
Years' War.
26
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:15,950
Okay, how long will it take?
27
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,410
About 15 minutes.
28
00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,430
Well, that's not bad. That's seven years
a minute.
29
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:23,830
That's if I want a D.
30
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:25,330
What if you want an A?
31
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About an hour tops.
32
00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:29,550
Go for the A.
33
00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:48,140
Okay.
34
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,300
There, that better?
35
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,540
No.
36
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,940
What am I supposed to do?
37
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,780
When Mary Lopez's father kisses her, he
says, I love you, Mary.
38
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,180
I love you, Mary.
39
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,160
Mr. Lopez is a troublemaker.
40
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,880
You know what?
41
00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:27,260
What? Mary can have a snack any time she
wants.
42
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,599
Oh, really?
43
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,600
Oh.
44
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,560
Mom's in the kitchen.
45
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,360
What?
46
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,240
My sentiments exactly.
47
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:44,920
Well?
48
00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:48,700
Vanessa promised she would practice.
When are we going to learn?
49
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,220
First, it was Denise and her ice skating
lessons. We buy the ice skates, the
50
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:56,440
outfits. She left two weeks. Then
there's Theodore and his karate lessons,
51
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,300
and a half. But we didn't go for too
much there.
52
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,260
All we paid for was a white bathrobe and
a couple pieces of wood.
53
00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:09,200
How much did we go for with the
clarinet?
54
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:13,600
Oh, well, you know how we agree that
when a child shows an interest in
55
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,780
something, it's our parental duty to
nurture it?
56
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,019
Right. Well, what did run us?
57
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,160
Not like we're hard up for money or
anything.
58
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:25,700
What did it run us? And you know, you're
not going to believe this, but in the
59
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,300
long run, it's a lot cheaper than
renting.
60
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:30,060
What did it run us?
61
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,100
$245.
62
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,880
$245?
63
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,420
But that included the case.
64
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,840
Well, it better include a set of lips.
65
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,970
last two matches? That's because I toyed
with you.
66
00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,750
Go ahead. Put it down.
67
00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,770
Do I talk when you're moving pieces?
68
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:22,949
Let's go.
69
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:23,950
Time is money.
70
00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:27,270
You don't even have a job. What money?
71
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,790
Time is money. Time and money.
72
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:36,530
Time is money. Me, you know, I have a
job. Not planning on getting a job and
73
00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:37,530
can't even...
74
00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:51,860
Queen check.
75
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,920
I know a check when I see one, man.
76
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,180
I'm the person who taught you how to
play, you remember?
77
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:00,760
Yeah, he did a good job.
78
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,140
Are you playing chess or are you calling
for the bellhop?
79
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,280
Have we moved closer to the river?
80
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:21,970
blowing to the right end?
81
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:31,970
I think she just
82
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:32,970
killed a goose.
83
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,960
It'll be great. And I hate to do it
alone.
84
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,260
I don't think so. Ask Daddy to do it
with you. Are you kidding? That's worse
85
00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:19,260
than doing it alone.
86
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:21,680
Come on, Claire.
87
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,060
Get the lead out. And lift those knees.
88
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:25,420
Snap it up, woman.
89
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,720
Talking about jogging? What time do you
want to go?
90
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,780
I don't. All right, 7 o 'clock.
91
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,700
Oh, oh, please.
92
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,140
No, come here.
93
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,340
Here, here, here, here. Where did you
get this from?
94
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,030
This is not a toy. This is a goose
killer.
95
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:55,150
Hi, Daddy.
96
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,550
Vanessa, do you know how much we paid
for that?
97
00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:08,990
No.
98
00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:11,630
$245. Two, four, five.
99
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,300
can be purchased with $245?
100
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,540
Hmm? You can get breaks for six Chevys.
101
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:29,460
You can purchase a ticket to the London
Philharmonic Orchestra in London and
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00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:33,539
sit on the same row as the Queen.
103
00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:39,780
Dad, I do appreciate you buying this for
me. If you appreciate it, why is Rudy
104
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:44,020
walking around dragging it down the
steps, twirling it like a baton?
105
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,239
She is?
106
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:50,640
Yes. Dad, I'm telling you, you have to
nail stuff down around here.
107
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:58,020
Some time ago, young lady, you came to
us and you said you would do anything
108
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:03,320
if we would allow you to take up the
clarinet. Now, what happened?
109
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,800
Dad, I just don't like it anymore.
110
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,360
And neither does Janet Miser. She quit
two weeks ago.
111
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,460
So that means you have to quit too?
112
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,200
except there's only two of us.
113
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,200
Couldn't I switch to gymnastics?
114
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,200
No.
115
00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:27,140
Is this the money? I mean, Janet's
father hocked her clarinet and got $40
116
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:32,740
it. $40? I paid two for it. Look, you
agreed to be in that recital. They are
117
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,740
counting on you.
118
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,260
Dad, they won't even miss me. Who's
going to play the clarinet solo?
119
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,780
The tuba can do it.
120
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:45,330
No, you can quit later. We'll talk about
it. But you have... a responsibility to
121
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:50,890
go through with that recital. Now, you
are going to do it. Now, I want you to
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00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,030
practice. Do you understand?
123
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:53,490
I understand.
124
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:55,630
All right. You do understand me?
125
00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:58,550
Yes. All right, then. You okay?
126
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,610
I'm okay. Okay. Now, is there anything
you need?
127
00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,070
No. You sure?
128
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:07,010
Positive. You don't want, uh, brighter
lights in the room?
129
00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:09,350
No. How about a pot of coffee?
130
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,010
No. All right. Now, don't forget.
131
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,400
You got a responsibility.
132
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,620
Practice. Right?
133
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,060
I'll do my best.
134
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,800
That's all I'm asking for.
135
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,600
Part of responsibility.
136
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,960
So, he wouldn't let you out of it, huh?
137
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,800
No. Did you get his responsibility
speech?
138
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,260
Yeah. Long or short version?
139
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,600
The long version.
140
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,920
With a pot of coffee.
141
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,920
Uh -huh. So, what'd you tell him?
142
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,520
I told him I'd do my best.
143
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,900
Was that your best?
144
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,220
Yeah.
145
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,180
And the recitals went?
146
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,720
In five days.
147
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:22,450
I'm not jogging with you. Yes, you know
that deep down inside you want to.
148
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:27,370
You know that you're going to wake up in
the morning with an irresistible urge
149
00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:29,710
to go jogging with your husband.
150
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,110
Jogging with all that?
151
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:34,570
Looks like you're going on a face walk.
152
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:40,590
Claire, in order to go jogging and do it
properly, you must have the necessary
153
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,450
equipment. Clip.
154
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:46,170
Why can't you be satisfied with a nice,
pleasant jog in the park?
155
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:53,210
Because serious joggers are not
satisfied with a nice, pleasant
156
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,350
jog in the park.
157
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:04,150
Now, I have this, which measures the
distance, this, which measures
158
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:10,050
the time that I ran the distance in, and
this, which measures the hydro...
159
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,480
ratio, you say? It means wet.
160
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,640
Yes. Okay.
161
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,440
Cliff, jogging with you is not fun.
162
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:23,060
Claire, let me tell you. You want to
talk about fun?
163
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,740
You want to talk about what is fun?
164
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,740
This is the way I jog.
165
00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,080
See, I'm serious.
166
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,920
I have the pepper.
167
00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:34,140
You understand?
168
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,360
I have the pepper. This is the way I'm
moving.
169
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:49,720
jobs must have at least three of these
tucked here and then she burst
170
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:23,750
in full speed carrying 59 pounds of
unnecessary equipment while you scream,
171
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:26,490
it, Claire, move it. No pain, no gain.
172
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:33,250
Now, we always get in an argument and I
end up walking home alone and... I hate
173
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,370
jogging with you.
174
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:40,190
Okay. And whoever's up at this hour had
better have a good excuse.
175
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:42,170
I can't sleep.
176
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,370
Good enough?
177
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:45,630
What's the matter, honey?
178
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:49,650
Let's recital.
179
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:55,550
Why?
180
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:58,930
I have a sore throat.
181
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,470
The recital's in four days.
182
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:05,010
It's one of those slow -building sore
throats.
183
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,170
Vanessa, it's after midnight.
184
00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:09,690
Now, what's wrong?
185
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:10,990
Mom, I'm worried.
186
00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,210
What are you worried about?
187
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,910
You've heard me practicing.
188
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,150
I'm really bad, aren't I? I think you're
doing pretty well.
189
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:22,510
11 years old, nobody's asking you to
play like Benny Goodman.
190
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,130
Who?
191
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:31,210
Look, you're going to be just fine. I
can understand your doubts. I had the
192
00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:33,270
doubts when I went out on my first date.
193
00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:37,350
Dad, this is not the same thing. You
have to practice to do this.
194
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:41,990
Listen, I'm telling you, my first date,
I had to practice.
195
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:50,430
Now, when I was 13 and a half years old,
My voice was cracking, and I was
196
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:53,890
embarrassed about it. And people would
say, what is your name?
197
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,390
And I'd say, my name is Heathcliff
Huxtable.
198
00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:02,530
And I didn't want to sound like that. I
wanted to sound smooth and mature.
199
00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,090
So I practiced.
200
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:06,050
What is your name, son?
201
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:07,550
Heathcliff Huxtable.
202
00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:10,170
Heathcliff Huxtable.
203
00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:14,910
Heathcliff Huxtable. And then I began to
practice my smiles. I had three of
204
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,190
them. I had a full smile.
205
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,440
I had a three -quarter smile.
206
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,920
And then I had a quarter smile.
207
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:34,240
And I practiced all of those things. And
then the night of my date, I walked up
208
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,440
to the house. I was nervous, but I had
practiced.
209
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:42,020
I rang the doorbell, and the father
opened the door, and he said, what do
210
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,580
want? And I said, my name.
211
00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:47,240
And I ran away.
212
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,640
ran for about a block, and then I
stopped myself, and I said, no, no, no,
213
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,680
practice. Go back there. Give it to him.
Three -quarter, one -quarter, full.
214
00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:00,600
And I went back, and I rang that bell,
and he said, who are you? And I said, my
215
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,700
name is Heathcliff Huxtable.
216
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,600
Now, do you understand that?
217
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,440
Yes. All right. And so, now, you feel
better?
218
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:13,920
No.
219
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:48,670
Checkmate! That's four in a row for the
man on the comeback trail.
220
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:52,230
Dad, you're a bad loser, but you're a
worse winner.
221
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:02,480
Boo. Wait a minute, Dad. Hold on.
222
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,339
Was there something troubling you, son?
223
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:09,300
No. What? Are you looking for rain?
224
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,700
No.
225
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:18,060
Perhaps are pennies from heaven being
played on the clarinet by your sister?
226
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,579
Hey, I don't know what you're talking
about.
227
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,280
Well, forget it. She's not playing till
Mr. Hampton gets here.
228
00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:26,519
When's that?
229
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520
Soon.
230
00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:28,940
Hampton?
231
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,270
Mr.
232
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:43,790
Hampton is coming to give your sister
some instructions on the clarinet.
233
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:48,710
He told me he knew you when you were a
little boy.
234
00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:49,990
That's true.
235
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:55,110
Mr. Hampton is an old friend. He was a
music teacher when I was in school.
236
00:17:59,659 --> 00:18:03,220
Some. Did they have potato chips?
237
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,620
Yes, we had potato chips.
238
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:19,680
Did they have TV?
239
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,620
No, they didn't have TV.
240
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,400
I do some for you.
241
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,670
Me too, Mr. Hampton.
242
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,530
Vanessa!
243
00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:58,250
Yes, Dad?
244
00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,510
Come on down, please, hon.
245
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:01,350
Yeah, yeah.
246
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:04,310
Mr. Hampton, what are you doing here?
247
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:08,450
Got us a little insurance policy on the
recital.
248
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:10,090
He's going to take my place?
249
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:14,650
No, he's going to give you private
lessons.
250
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,690
Come on, let's get started.
251
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:41,840
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. That
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00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:47,460
was Bobby Tucker on the bassoon, giving
you his rendition of...
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00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,950
Flight of the bumblebee.
254
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,110
Looks more like a wounded moth.
255
00:20:57,230 --> 00:21:00,770
In just a moment now, we will hear from
our beginner's class.
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00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:02,390
That's me.
257
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:03,910
Good luck, honey.
258
00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:06,990
Better be good. I gave up hanging out
with my friends to see this.
259
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,590
Go get them, kid.
260
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,570
Hey, where are you going?
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00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,110
My kid already played.
262
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,410
Who, the bumblebee?
263
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:19,550
than my kids going on. I'm paying $4 an
hour for parking.
264
00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:22,690
Yeah, well, I don't care about $4. I
paid $6.
265
00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:25,890
Come on. Watch my kid.
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00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:32,290
And now, ladies and gentlemen, our
beginner's class with their medley of
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00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:35,970
songs was soloed by Miss Vanessa Hudson.
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00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:25,270
Master of the mouthpiece, Wizard of the
Whitwoods. No autographs, please.
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00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:28,270
She's going to be impossible to live
with.
270
00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:31,430
Okay, way to go, Vanessa.
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00:23:31,690 --> 00:23:33,530
Yeah, you were real good.
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00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:38,110
Well, now that you're a star, what are
you going to do?
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00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:40,970
Beauty? Enjoy.
274
00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:42,350
Oh, boy!
275
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:45,250
$245.
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00:23:45,530 --> 00:23:46,530
Vanessa.
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00:23:50,410 --> 00:23:53,590
well this evening. Don't you want to at
least reconsider? No, not really.
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00:23:55,190 --> 00:23:56,190
Gymnastics.
279
00:23:56,710 --> 00:24:01,130
Janet Miser hated gymnastics. Really?
What's she doing now?
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00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:02,390
Horseback riding.
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00:24:02,730 --> 00:24:04,630
Horseback riding? We're renting.
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00:24:33,130 --> 00:24:36,590
The Cosby Show is videotaped in front of
a live studio audience.
21254
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