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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,340 To honor Lincoln's birthday, it's a night of a thousand laughs. 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:09,140 My fellow Americans, you know, so much has changed since when I sat in the 3 00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:12,160 House, but I'm proud to say that I've kept up with the times. Oh yes, I have a 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,740 fax machine and a car phone. 5 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,500 I've got a five -tuck a little one. 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:16,759 But tonight... 7 00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:20,730 To celebrate my 102nd birthday, we're going to be doing something very 8 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:25,310 Night of a Thousand Laughs 2. We'll party and boogie with all your favorite 9 00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:28,410 comedies. And I'll be here all night to count the laughs. You'll get an honest 10 00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:33,190 count that way. First off, a favorite of all of ours. A Carby show. Yay! 11 00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:39,250 Five, four, three, two... Look at that. 12 00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:42,070 Now, I got a chest full of things. 13 00:00:55,340 --> 00:01:00,460 They're going to miss that child next year when she goes away to the 14 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:04,920 of Wisconsin and places north. 15 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:09,120 And so, I forgot my line. 16 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:16,040 Three, two... I'm sorry I'm going to miss your race. 17 00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:17,460 It's all right. 18 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:19,460 Catch your line. 19 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,660 You're wasting our money. 20 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,880 For two years, breakfast has been nothing but healthy. 21 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,080 No cow, no salt. Yuck! 22 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,620 I've had it! Daddy, no! 23 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,080 I want something delicious and naughty. 24 00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:31,720 Tired of things that are just good for me. Ha! 25 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,180 Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats! George! 26 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:37,260 Huh? Frosted Mini Wheats are good for you. No. 27 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:38,640 Shredded Wheat goodness. 28 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,200 No. And fiber. 29 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,500 No, not fiber. Yes, George. 30 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,060 But they taste so good. Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats. Surprise! 31 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:47,980 They're good for you. 32 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,600 It's Friday night at the Smith House. I'll be here any minute. Jane and Mike 33 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,920 having a party. Should we pick the music? 34 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,200 Eight guests. Friends. 35 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:58,440 Spinning. The food. The music. The lighting. Candle. Nothing. Blowing. Was 36 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,760 to chance when suddenly... Glasses? 37 00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:02,620 Spotted. 38 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,440 Spots? Spots. We don't have time for spots. 39 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:09,740 You don't have time for spots. So use Cascade. The sheeting action rinses 40 00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:12,420 away. Maybe they'll be late. Maybe. Maybe. 41 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:17,780 Maybe not. Don't take chances. Use Cascade because you don't have time for 42 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:22,400 spots. The headache feels like a rubber band going around my head. 43 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:24,620 I have pain. I hurt. 44 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,180 Today, Darnell Moore is trying extra strength Tylenol gel caps for pain like 45 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:33,000 white egg aspirin or ibuprofen when nothing works better than Tylenol gel 46 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:38,400 No throb, no headache, and definitely no rubber band. I'm going to go with the 47 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,019 gel caps. 48 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,020 Gel caps work. 49 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,580 Tylenol gel caps, only from Tylenol. 50 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,620 For everyday pain, nothing works better. And for your cold this winter, now try 51 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:47,840 Tylenol cold medication. 52 00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:02,800 Melissa, what are you looking at? 53 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:04,340 Hey, listen up, everybody. 54 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:05,948 Come here. 55 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,170 No, I've got something to show you. Good. 56 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:15,770 Now, this is what we used to look like. 57 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:25,610 Yes, when we first started working together. Now, I'm not naming any names, 58 00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:27,550 some people have changed. 59 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,390 Oh, man. 60 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,620 Now, when I go back and watch the reruns of the shows we did, I look at the guy 61 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,540 who played Theo and I say, who is that? 62 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:39,760 That's you. 63 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,780 With a higher voice. 64 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,720 Well, let's not even talk about what I look like. 65 00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:47,400 But I was only 10. 66 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,680 That's no excuse. 67 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,260 I was four. 68 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,580 I made a lot of mistakes. 69 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,860 I remember Bill having fun with your mistakes. 70 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,740 Do you understand what I'm saying? 71 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,500 Uh -huh. 72 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,800 What am I saying? 73 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Stop making mistakes. 74 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,880 If you don't stop acting so lame. 75 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,140 No, I'm not doing it, Emma. 76 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,060 Give me some pie. 77 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,680 Give me some pie. 78 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,240 Give me some pie. 79 00:05:53,820 --> 00:06:00,480 But sometimes 80 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,800 Keisha got the last laugh. 81 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,870 Why are you standing between us? So you don't have any babies. 82 00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:18,430 Oh, there are times when someone else got the last laugh on Bill, like Stevie 83 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:20,130 Wonder. Oh, yeah. 84 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,510 Yeah, that was a good one. And he can't stay. 85 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,670 You don't like me or something? 86 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:28,770 Well, um, I just wanted to say... 87 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,020 You look like somebody I've seen before. 88 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,500 Yeah, and that was priceless. It really was. 89 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:52,180 But I want to know, how come a certain person here, sitting on this very couch, 90 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:56,840 always seems to know her lines, even on the first day of rehearsal? 91 00:06:57,140 --> 00:07:01,940 You must be talking about me. How do you do it? It's the jeans, darling. It's 92 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:02,779 the jeans. 93 00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:08,400 Thanks. loved a line or two in my day. A line or two? Well, I have. And when I 94 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,200 have, Bill has really rubbed it in. 95 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,800 But when the going gets rough, you quit. 96 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:15,680 Like what? 97 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,120 Ice skating. Guitar. 98 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,580 Skiing. Tennis. 99 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,180 Ballet. 100 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,060 by the gross commerciality of contemporary theater. 101 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,300 All I know is we left that theater humming the songs and feeling fine, 102 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,300 we, Chris? 103 00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:49,660 Humming the what? 104 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,760 Songs. 105 00:07:53,820 --> 00:08:00,620 And you thought you were going to get 106 00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:01,620 away with it? 107 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,340 Hey, Jeffers, what are you doing with Felicia's daughter? 108 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:06,780 Hi, Molly. 109 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:07,840 Hi, Felicia. 110 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,180 I don't know. You don't know? 111 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,260 Now, I'll tell you one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to 112 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:18,660 actor. When you're in a scene and you call somebody by their real name. 113 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,620 You almost done, Malcolm? 114 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,900 It's got to be serious, because the man says, I'd like to bring her by so you 115 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,180 and Felicia can... 116 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,320 This is my son, Malcolm. 117 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:42,100 His name is Theo. 118 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,880 Hey, 119 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:49,359 Dr. Morgan. 120 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,240 How you doing? All right. Have you ever met Theo? 121 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,540 Man, 122 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,080 have you guys... 123 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,970 Ever thought about what it would be like if we did this show live? 124 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:15,570 That would be very interesting. You know, I am very thankful that they can 125 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:19,230 out all the mistakes, especially when I consider some of the ones I made. 126 00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,810 This is a big joke. 127 00:09:23,170 --> 00:09:27,610 Well, honey, I'm sure everybody will like it. And if that doesn't get them... 128 00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:51,430 my son, I will make it without lucky. 129 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,030 And now to him, sit down. 130 00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:02,590 To embarrass my son, I will make it without lucky. 131 00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:12,070 And now... Now listen, I want you to go out there and read that speech 132 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,730 as if you had written it yourself. 133 00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:16,110 Make me and your father very proud. 134 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:30,070 I want you to go up there and read this speech as if you had written it 135 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,070 yourself, okay? 136 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,730 Make me and your dad proud. 137 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,250 Okay? 138 00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:37,930 Let's go. Let's go. 139 00:10:41,610 --> 00:10:43,910 I tried, Jane. 140 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:48,970 Come here, son. As if you had written it yourself, okay? 141 00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:53,250 Make me and your father very proud. 142 00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:56,230 Thank you. 143 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,270 be a girl. Well, good. 144 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:41,350 And I'll have a dog named Tiffany. 145 00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:42,710 All right. 146 00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:46,910 And I'll have a husband named Bud. 147 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:02,230 What was his name again? 148 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,010 Bud. 149 00:12:08,069 --> 00:12:09,069 Bud... What? 150 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,190 Bud Light. 151 00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:16,410 Bud 152 00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:28,410 Light. 153 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:31,750 Well, the only problem is my father is not going to let me get my ears pierced. 154 00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:32,869 No way. 155 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:34,030 Oh, you're right. 156 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Sunlight has real lemon juice. 157 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:44,880 It cuts tough food easily. 158 00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:49,260 And leaves everything sunlight clean. 159 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:53,820 In fact, it's so easy, you almost don't have to be there. 160 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,680 Sink or dishwasher, sunlight makes light work of dishes. 161 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:19,000 Some women live in sheer elegance. The pantyhose that looks and feels like real 162 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,140 silk from the Orient. 163 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,560 Well, I want her. 164 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:26,160 I've got to have her. She's got legs. 165 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:33,440 My headaches are full -grown, adult -sized bangaroos. So I bang them back 166 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,940 bear. It's strong. It's not an aspirin substitute. 167 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,400 It's made for adults. 168 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,260 Just like you and me. For adult -sized pain, Bayer, the wonder drug that works 169 00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:43,260 wonders. 170 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,240 Carnation Instant Breakfast! 171 00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:48,000 You're gonna love it in an instant! 172 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,580 Wake up to the nutritious, delicious taste of Carnation Instant Breakfast. 173 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,480 Carnation Instant Breakfast! 174 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,280 You're gonna love it in an instant! 175 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,940 for the girls out there honking at me. 176 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:39,920 Oh, man. Okay, out of all of us, who do you think has changed the most? 177 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,960 Oh, I don't know. That depends on what you mean by changing. We've all gotten a 178 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,840 little bigger, and some of us have gotten a little brighter. Yeah, some of 179 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,840 yeah. 180 00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:52,980 Both you and Lisa got married and had babies. 181 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,260 That's true. True. 182 00:14:56,830 --> 00:15:00,010 Lisa, I don't know about you, but that's when Bill really gave me the business. 183 00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,170 No, 184 00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:07,510 Jake. Yeah. 185 00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:10,310 She just doesn't kiss the same since she got married. 186 00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:19,850 Read Macbeth and he could get under the covers and snuggle and read Macbeth and 187 00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:20,870 he could take all night. 188 00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,330 And Ahmaud won't be there? 189 00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:40,310 And as the pregnancy progressed, he got worse. 190 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:43,810 Anybody have any idea why these bags are up here? Don't start. 191 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:53,810 Here we go. We have to be in five. Next week we have a car in here. 192 00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,560 Why are these bags blocking her? 193 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:04,740 Because this isn't close enough to the table. 194 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,620 Ladies and gentlemen, the baby's stomach. 195 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:15,720 Five, four, three, two... So you see, it's right there. 196 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,940 Don't be hateful. 197 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,220 Be nice. 198 00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:25,560 The magic of TV. 199 00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:27,890 Stop it. 200 00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:31,810 Ahmad Rashad will no longer come on this set. 201 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,330 Ruined my show. 202 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:39,690 Bye, Mike. Bye, sweetie. 203 00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:43,370 Bill does like to keep things loose on the set. 204 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,209 Oh, yeah. 205 00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:45,850 You never know what he's gonna do. 206 00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:47,910 Bill, could you give me that wine again? 207 00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:49,130 No! I'm tired! 208 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,250 I know. 209 00:17:07,869 --> 00:17:14,569 But when you're cooking red beans, you should have 210 00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:16,069 the proper pig. 211 00:17:18,730 --> 00:17:21,130 Better known as the oink. 212 00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:27,550 There we go. And you should have preferably killed it early. 213 00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:38,450 Pink nose. 214 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:44,370 I have a friend who can't eat pink nose. 215 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:50,850 Yeah, I said, my God, what's the difference? 216 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:55,030 Yeah. 217 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,280 He switched to another stand -up. 218 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:29,560 In five, four... What are we doing? Take the 219 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,540 black pieces off. Take the black pieces off? 220 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,480 I thought you loved running track. 221 00:18:56,580 --> 00:19:03,200 A simple thing like a light bulb can inspire Bill to supreme 222 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,200 silliness. 223 00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:40,870 you ringing for the bell hop? 224 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:45,130 Was that you? 225 00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:57,570 On Sundays, there's just general silliness in the air. 226 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,470 What's going on? Huh? 227 00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:22,190 I didn't know you were coming out here. 228 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,830 What's going on? 229 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:35,130 Three, two... Are you ready? 230 00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:40,910 In. 231 00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:44,690 Five, four... 232 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,600 here talking about mistakes we've made. 233 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,480 I never made any mistakes. 234 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,380 Yeah, okay. Raven. 235 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:16,720 Look, 236 00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:26,440 tell me why that was. 237 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,140 Okay. Tell me. Now read. 238 00:21:43,910 --> 00:21:45,830 Five, four, three, two. 239 00:21:47,150 --> 00:21:53,490 I got textable. Pay for it. All right. And now you're going to go to bed. 240 00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:56,330 In a minute. In a minute. 241 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,200 That was my fault. I was still doing something else. 242 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,520 You know? 243 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,860 Don't make any mistakes. 244 00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,019 What's wrong with you? 245 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:28,460 I'm sure we can all remember a time when Mr. Cosby did something that made it 246 00:22:28,460 --> 00:22:29,840 very difficult to get through a scene. 247 00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,340 Well, yeah. 248 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:32,460 Like a million times. 249 00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:36,650 I was in the kitchen, and the harder I tried to get to the scene, the worse it 250 00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:37,549 got. 251 00:22:37,550 --> 00:22:39,850 Go ask some of the doctors out there. 252 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:45,490 You want to sell some meat hooks, some sneakers, some bottles. 253 00:23:14,649 --> 00:23:15,649 Dad, 254 00:23:19,150 --> 00:23:23,350 it's gonna be a great banquet. After dinner, they're gonna show a movie. 255 00:23:32,590 --> 00:23:34,630 I remember a time when Bill lost it and never got it back. 256 00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:39,430 Tyrone, so you're going to take out my Vanessa, huh? 257 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:41,910 Well, I want you to know something, son. 258 00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:46,530 It all started when Bill heard an off -camera noise and he knew that he 259 00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:50,790 use the take, so he decided to have some fun with the actor. Young boy, come and 260 00:23:50,790 --> 00:23:52,530 take out my daughter. 261 00:23:53,070 --> 00:23:54,830 You would have to be special also. 262 00:23:55,970 --> 00:24:00,330 If you ever did anything to hurt her, take this. 263 00:24:04,190 --> 00:24:05,610 Do you understand what I mean? 264 00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:10,230 Keep your hands to yourself. 265 00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:13,350 Do you understand what I'm saying? 266 00:24:13,590 --> 00:24:15,230 You don't rub all over me. 267 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,110 Get the soda and get out. 268 00:24:35,630 --> 00:24:36,630 Huh? 269 00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:41,550 The young man behind you is not quite with the scene. 270 00:24:41,910 --> 00:24:42,629 He's not? 271 00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,910 No, Bill. What's the matter with him? 272 00:24:46,490 --> 00:24:48,490 I don't know why he laughed. 273 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:51,810 You should give him the very end part of the series. 274 00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:54,630 Okay. Now get out. 275 00:24:59,310 --> 00:25:02,030 During the second take, the guest actor made a mistake. 276 00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:03,990 That's when Dill lost it. 277 00:25:04,490 --> 00:25:07,610 Let me tell you something, Tyrone. 278 00:25:08,890 --> 00:25:10,350 Vanessa is my daughter. 279 00:25:10,590 --> 00:25:12,150 Very, very special person. 280 00:25:12,430 --> 00:25:13,430 You understand? 281 00:25:13,810 --> 00:25:14,810 Okay. 282 00:25:15,870 --> 00:25:16,870 Have a good one. 283 00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:19,510 Is that it, Dr. 284 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:22,630 Hussable? Isn't there anything else you want to add? 285 00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:32,840 I want to tell you something. 286 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,000 Vanessa is my daughter. You understand that? 287 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,640 I mean it. 288 00:25:39,220 --> 00:25:40,220 Have a good time. 289 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:44,620 Uh, is that all you want to ask me, Dr. Hustable? 290 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,480 No, no, no. 291 00:26:12,180 --> 00:26:13,180 No, 292 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,780 I'm going to get through this one. 293 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,960 Buy your best shot, Jack. 294 00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:29,760 Now, let me tell you something. Vanessa is my special, special daughter. You 295 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,760 understand me? 296 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:32,840 Have a good time. 297 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,880 Is that it? That's the husband? 298 00:27:27,430 --> 00:27:34,430 These are two makers of 299 00:27:34,430 --> 00:27:36,990 frozen entrees. They both make turkey tetrazzini. 300 00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:39,230 Kraft uses all white turkey meat. 301 00:27:39,430 --> 00:27:40,950 Stouffer's uses some white meat. 302 00:27:41,270 --> 00:27:42,570 They both come in a box. 303 00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:43,850 Kraft uses blue. 304 00:27:44,190 --> 00:27:45,190 Stouffer's, red. 305 00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:46,430 The choice is yours. 306 00:27:50,410 --> 00:27:56,510 Friends, when it comes to creamy, chocolatey, homemade, delicious pudding, 307 00:27:56,510 --> 00:27:58,430 know when it's Jell -O. 308 00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:23,320 sure that you want to go back out there and play again? 309 00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:33,580 Thursday, 310 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,720 it's a night of all new comedy, starting with Cosby. On a different world, 311 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,420 Whitley's new flame is Dwayne Steaming. 312 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:41,640 Then on Cheers. 313 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,040 of us would like to sleep with Sam. Sam's a hit on the top show circuit, and 314 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,780 Grand has a bundle of joy for Tom and Carol Ann. 315 00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:52,120 The pain of birth actually prepares you for the agony of being a parent. 316 00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:53,620 Thursday! 23837

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