All language subtitles for george_lopez_s06e13_rocks_to_the_max

One, two, three, nine.

All right, all right, all right. We got
the chords now. Let's just work on the

moves, all right? Just like in high
school, man, all right? All right, watch

out, watch out, watch out.

Strut, strut.

Lizard, lizard.

Pose,

watch out.

First, it's lizard, lizard up here on
the neck like that.

Then it's like that, like that.

You got to use the neck like that.

Then split.

Rock and roll.

See, like that.

That's why we did the pose, man.

But you know what would be cool? Is at
the end, we did a little kick like David

Lee Rod, like that.

Damn straight. I pulled my leg. It's
burning. Okay.

Guitars and ice packs.

You guys are getting the band back
together.

I'll call everyone who used to watch you
play.

Oh, wait. I'm already here.

Okay, we won't need you tonight because
our old drummer, Johnny Vamos, has a

band, and tonight we're going to jam
with them at... The Viper Room.

vamos and dos badasses?

Before I met you, it was tres badasses.

But Johnny and I had creative
differences.

I was creative, so he was different.

That's why they called him Johnny Vamos,
because it'd be like that. Johnny,

vamos.

Yeah. Johnny's doing pretty good,
though. He's making a living out of

music. Yeah, I wish I had his life.

I thought you wanted my life.

I just settled for wanting yours.

Well, you won't be saying that after
tonight.

Because when Johnny brings us up to jam,
I'm going to rock him off the stage.

I'm going to be like that.

I'm going to be slow like that, tender
like that.

And a tear is going to fall on him. I'm
going to pick it back up like that.

I'm going to pose like that.

I want to see you guys play.

Can I come? Yeah, sure. Why not? Really?
Yeah, in seven years when you're old

enough.

You know, I just hope when I'm your age,
I'm not still trying to act like I'm in

high school.

Hey, when you're my age, you'll still be
in high school.

But you won't be living here because,
okay, when you're 18, you're out.

And that's this man here, right here,
Latin.

Can you stop making jokes about kicking
him out of the house? They hurt his

feelings. No, they don't, Angie. He's a
Lopez.

He's like me. He's tough. Nothing
bothers him.

Really? Well, I guess it doesn't bother
you that the drummer from your high

school band is now a professional
musician doing what you always dreamed

I guess it doesn't bother you that some
of your cheerleader friends from high

school married rich doctors who like to
communicate and cuddle.

How was the show?

Terrible.

Johnny totally blew us off.

Mike got me so that I could sing with
him.

Orale, act so gross.

He wasn't pointing it at you, man. He
was swinging it at your head from the

bottom.

My guitar.

Max.

The strap fell off. I just wanted to
play it a little. You know you're not

supposed to touch my guitar.

Now there's a scratch on it. George,
calm down. It's not even an expensive

guitar. Angie, are you crazy? This is
the vintage Les Paul.

collector's item.

Only a hundred were made before they
raided the factory and freed the

Stay away from my stuff. And remember,
everything in this house is my stuff.

Mom! It's okay. Don't talk to her. She's
my stuff, too.

You want to be dropped and scratched?

I'm protecting you.

You know what?

I'll just go up to my room and stay in
there until I'm 18.

Then I'll move out, and you'll get what
you always wanted.

Did you hear that?

Now do you believe that when you joke
about kicking him out of the house, he

takes it seriously?

I don't want to talk about Max.

He dropped Selma.

I can't keep pushing him away. He'll be

out of the house before you know it, and
you're going to miss him.

Angie, I'm not all sentimental like you.

Really?

Remember when he was a baby and his
first word was dada?

Oh, no.

I know what you're trying to do and it's
not going to work.

How about when he was four and he would
take a nap on your chest while you were

watching the Raiders game?

They never lost while he was on me.

Then there was that Halloween when he
was eight. We asked what superhero he

wanted to be and he said, my dad.

I missed him already.

Where did my little boy go?

hurt you to be more careful with Max's
feelings.

Actually, you could be more sensitive
with everyone.

Okay. You're right.

I'm going to be more sensitive. Starting
now, I'm going to be sensitive. Watch

out. I can change like that. Look it.

Insensitive.

Sensitive. Even the snaps were
different. Oh, yeah.

Hey, I'm out of here, man.

I've been over to pick up a pretzel off
the floor and my pants split open.

Yeah, well, if your pants start ripping
open, maybe you should start eating

vegetables off the floor.

Sorry, I didn't realize I still had one
left in the chamber.

Are you wearing a thong?

I didn't want crease lines in the
leather.

I'm trying to be sensitive and you're
wearing a thong. Put it in reverse and

back the hell out of here.

I want to see your backstreet boys.

Oh, my keys.

to defrost.

I got you a surprise.

For what?

Well, you know, you've been doing a lot
better in school.

I just got a DMI geometry test. I need
you to sign it.

Okay, uh, you went to the dentist? No
cavities, right?

Three.

Did you tie your own shoes?

No slip -ons. Okay, good job picking out
shoes you can handle.

I got you a guitar.

No way!

Oh, awesome!

And I got you an F, too. And I'm going
to teach you how to play.

Put your finger like that. You be like
that. You be like that. You be like

Sweet.

Oh, this will be fun.

We can all play together.

You know, when I was a little girl,
Daddy used to have his friends over to

practice the congas, and I played a mean
tambourine.

I can also sing.

Chitty boom, chitty boom.

Tambourine, a chitty boom, chitty boom.

Yeah, I know, but I can't. Crank it up,
man!

What the hell is that?

It's bags.

I bought him a guitar last week.

Jeez, just hearing that noise brings
back the headaches from when you used to

play.

You woke up every morning on the
bathroom floor sweating tequila and

toilet.

Those headaches didn't come from my
guitar.

Wow.

He's already better than you ever were.

I taught him that. I'm actually spending
time with my son doing something we

both enjoy. You wouldn't know nothing
about that.

Cut the crap, George. I played with you
when you were a little kid.

Oh, yeah. Those were fun games, Mom.

Shots and ladders.

favorite, your version of Clue.

It's Colonel Mustard in the bedroom with
my mom.

Those are the cords we were working on
last night. We were like that.

What's that?

Hey, Dad.

These are my friends from school. They
asked me to join their band.

That's awesome, dude. You've only been
playing a week. They said I could learn

while we practiced.

There's a battle of the bands coming up.

Back in the day, I wasn't one of those.
After our song, we set our instruments

on fire. The crowd went wild. We won the
first round.

What about the second round?

What second round? We set our
instruments on fire.

We're the reason the curtains in your
auditorium are flame -returning.

Dude, Max, we gotta practice.

Yeah, hey, before you guys get started,
why don't I show you a trick or two?

Um, Nicky's really good, Dad. I don't
think we need any help. Max, it's okay.

was playing guitar before Nicky was
born. Watch out.

Yeah, technically okay, but no emotion.

Nope.

Dad, we really have to practice.

Okay, sure. We'll jam later.

That's awesome, Nicky. You've got to
teach me that.

Hey. When he can play that with a
flaming curtain falling down on his

I'll be impressed.

So, how about you?

You have had 25 years to learn how to be
a cool teenager, and you

still can't do it.

That Nicky kid may know some flashy
tricks, but Max and I are having a good

time, and I'm going to be the one to
teach him how to play the guitar.

Hey, Dad, I didn't want to say it in
there, but Nicky thinks I should only

with him now because then I won't pick
up any floppy habits.

You understand, right?

Yeah, of course. That's a good idea.

You go back in there, man, and you rock
with Nicky. Hey, I'm totally cool with

that. Huh? I'm cool.

I used to be a superhero.

Check, check.

At the end of the meal, you pay the
check, check.

Is that a monster under your bed? You
better check, check.

If you find a lump on your webbles, you
better check, check.

What are you doing?

Testing the PA system I got from Max and
the band.

Look, I know you're upset that Max
didn't want to play guitar with you, but

maybe you should give him some space.

Now you want me to back off? You told me
to get more involved. Make up your

mind, woman.

You can't play the piano with both hands
at once.

That is how you play the piano.

Not in rock and roll. You play with one
hand, and with the other hand, you point

out which groupies you want to come
backstage.

No, no, no. That's a dude.

Yes.

I'm flattered. And it's great that you
got Max a guitar, but now he's in... a

band. He's got friends.

I think you should let him come to you
now.

Listen, this is the first thing that
we've ever enjoyed doing together. I'm

just gonna let it go.

What's this?

I got you guys the one thing you don't
have.

A PA system.

Oh, no way.

Of course you're gonna need somebody to
run the board. You know, somebody who

understands high -end feedback, también
reverbs, nouns, like that.

Well, maybe you can be our sound guy,
Dad.

Yes. Okay, Angie, Sasuke, you gotta go.

The band and I got a lot to cover.
También.

Okay, why don't you guys run through
your Battle of the Bands set, and I'll

check your levels.

Alright.

One, two, three.

Dad,

we like this song.

Okay, you know what? You guys, you're
lucky I'm here, okay?

Let's start from the beginning. What's
the name of the band?

Suspicious Package. Okay, La Suspicious
Package!

Why don't you guys just call yourselves
The Losers?

Actually, that might work.

Replace the S with a backwards V.

Isn't a backward Z just an N?

Isn't a Z just an N on its side? We can
do this all day.

What's this?

This is Laura, Annie, Marnie, and
Jackie. They came to watch us practice.

No, no chicks.

Just the core guys.

Dad, Grandma Benny just came out of the
house in a bikini.

Damn it! Who told her there were high
school boys here?

Hey, cover yourself!

It's not out here!

What are you doing in there?

No chicks?

Trust me.

Chicks ruin bands.

One minute they happen to hear you play,
the next minute they're changing

everything. Telling you what to wear,
what to play, bossing you around.

That's what you're doing, Dad.

You're the chick ruining our band.

What are you talking about? We're doing
this together, man. You need me.

No, we don't need you. We just need a
place to practice.

But you're embarrassing me, so we'll
find someplace else.

That's got you.

And I'm keeping the fog machine.

And I'm taking back the band's name.
That's right. I'm the only loser here.

It's a backwards Z. You don't get it.
It's cool.

Oh, we get it. You're a loser.

Who are your parents? Because, okay,
they didn't raise you right.

What's with all the smoke?

Did a little girl from Kansas throw
water on your mother?

No, it's a fog machine I got for Max and
the band.

Yeah, and you told me you were teaching
him to play guitar, no?

When my son was 13, I bought him a
camera and we took a photography class.

Two weeks later, he was selling naked
pictures of our maid.

it didn't work out for me and Max
either. As soon as he got in that band,

dropped me.

Well, Max is at a difficult age, you
know.

He wants to be with you and he wants to
be his own man.

It's the push -pull of a teenager.

Well, I reached out to him and all I got
was a handful of rejection.

And you know what really sucks, Vic?

That's a great title for a song and I
got nobody to share it with.

Well, George, if it cheers you up,

A handful of rejections sounds more like
a trans -techno thing, and that's not

your bag, daddy.

George, I need to talk to you about Max.

Don't worry. I'm going to give him his
space.

The guy kicked him out of the band.

What happened?

Well, they only wanted him so they could
have a place to practice.

He really needs you right now.

Look, I tried to bond with him, and he
pushed me away.

What, so now he got his feelings hurt,
and what am I supposed to do, go running

to him? Why would I do that?

Because you're his father and you're
supposed to love him unconditionally.

You see, I'm a Lopez. I got all kinds of
conditions.

I need respect and support. And if we
get in a fight, I need you to say, I'm

sorry first.

That's not fair.

And I'm not into people who are all into
fairness. Now say you're sorry.

No, Angie, I'm not gonna do it.

Seriously, no, he's on his own.

Damn it, boy, get your pinky down!

Okay, let's... Come on, man, you gotta
get that pinky

down!

Good move quitting the band.

I didn't quit.

They kicked me out.

I know.

But that's not the story you tell at
school.

You had artistic differences and you
left the band to pursue a solo career.

I suck at guitar.

No, you don't. Hey, you're way ahead of
where I was when I was your age. You'll

get another band.

You think so? Hell yeah.

You got a new guitar, a PA system, and
someone who will jam with you whenever

you want.

Sorry about what I said.

It's okay, Matt.

You know what?

You're my son.

We're going to do this together.

That's it?

I thought we were going to play
together.

We are.

I'm going to get the fog machine.

We're going to do this. We're going to
do it right.

If you see your mom coming with a
tambourine, lock this door.

I'll come in through that window.