All language subtitles for george_lopez_s06e01_mom_faces_a_great

Last season.

I'm George Lopez.

What are you doing out here in the dark?

I just got my letter from Northern
Vermont.

Well, Lindsay, there is something I have
to ask you.

George, call me.

I just went through Mel and Jack's desk.
They're moving the company to Mexico.

Are you George Lopez?

Uh, yeah.

We're looking for your mother. Do you
know where she is?

Mr. Lopez, if you know where she is and
you don't tell us, you're an accomplice.

All my friends know the lowrider.

You just want to talk to her?

Yes.

Okay, follow me.

Hey, but in case she tries to run, don't
bother with the pepper spray. We're

Mexican.

That won't do anything. That would be
like me spraying you with mayonnaise.

Ma 'am?

Oh, officer.

I was looking for Benny Lopez. She's not
out here.

I'll check Mexico.

Mom, relax.

She just wants to talk to you.

You are under arrest for being an
accessory to an armed robbery.

You lied to me.

See, this is why people like firemen
better. They don't yell, jump, and then

move the little trampoline thing out of
the way.

Hey,

hey, hey, English.

She said you're very handsome and
lovely.

Chill out. George, you sold me out.

You're not my son anymore, George. I
never want to...

So who's going to bail you out?

I'll see you one more time.

Take it easy, Mom. I'm not going to let
anything happen to you. I'll be right

down to bail you out. Yeah, right. The
last time you said that, I spent a night

in jail.

I was five.

You're not going to believe what I just
found out.

Everything's about you, Angie. They just
arrested my mom.

down to the police station. Okay, well,
on your way home, pick up diapers.

I'm pregnant.

How do you know that I'm the... George.

Okay, Angie, you're pregnant. Okay,
let's deal with this.

Body George, I know I'm not my -

They said I gotta put up my house as
collateral in case you skip bail.

And?

Let's see.

That's pretty solid.

I didn't do it. What?

Look, Mom, they said you're a flight
risk. If you leave, I lose my house,

I won't do that to my family. George, I
swear I won't skip bail, okay?

I give you my word.

You told me my dad was dead. Then you
never told me I had a sister.

When I was a kid, you used to make me
dress up like a girl so we could get in

free at Mother Daughter Day at the
track.

I'm going to use every penny I got to
get you the best lawyer I can, okay? So

you don't end up going to prison.

George, if you bail me out, I won't have
to worry about going to prison because

I'll be in Mexico by sunup.

Mom, if I thought you'd stay in Mexico,
it'd be worth losing my house.

Trust me, the next two weeks...

working on a science project.

I'm trying to come up with a cure for a
hangover.

Hey, there's no cure for a hangover,
man. You wake up in the morning, you got

that killer headache, the dry heaves,
you're like... And

then you taste in the back of your
throat like a hot dog at a carnival, but

don't remember being there. You're
like... And then...

I got to go.

Like that.

George, George, George.

Everything is going to be okay.

The factory's not moving to Mexico.

Yeah, the Powers brothers looked into
it, but it turns out that all the

Mexicans in our industry, they're
already here.

You didn't tell me they were thinking
about moving the factory.

Ernie, I don't listen to your messages.

What? Why not? Dude, you call me when
you see a hot girl on the freeway. Then

you take up five minutes of my
voicemail. Judge! Judge! Judge!

Any luck finding a lawyer for your mom?

Yeah, but they're all $200 an hour.

$200? That's outrageous.

Benny isn't going to go to jail for
something she did 30 years ago.

What defender?

No way.

Well, with everything that's going on,
we've got a lot of bills coming in. We

need to talk about this.

Ernie, do you mind giving us some
privacy?

But I just opened this can.

I mean, I could put it in the fridge,
but it's not going to be fizzy later.

Oh, you've got that get out look.

Do you need to hear it? No.

Angie, we always do.

Yeah, but we have a new one.

I didn't get a chance to tell you this
because you were dealing with your mom,

but Carmen got into college.

Carmen got accepted?

That's great!

Yes. Our little girl is going to be the
first Lopez to go to college.

For more than two weeks.

Thank you.

And on top of that, we have all the
expenses with the baby.

Angie, this is crazy.

We can't handle another kid at our age.

What about adoption?

I am not giving up this baby.

I'm talking about Mac.

You know, he smells funky.

You know, he sleeps till noon. I don't
see what we're getting out of the deal.

I'm just worried that our bills are
going to bury us.

Don't worry, all right? I've got a plan.

We're going to get my mom a great lawyer
and deal with the rest of the bills

later. That's not a plan.

I didn't finish.

Then we're going to play the lottery,
right?

And then we're going to invent something
that everyone needs, like socks that

have sandpaper at the end.

So that way when you walk, you trim your
toenails.

There might be a bleeding issue, but
this is just off the top of my head.

Come here, not dressed.

My mom's hearing's in an hour. Tell her
I'm sorry, but I can't make it. I have

to help Carmen finish packing.

I can't believe our baby's leaving for
college today. She just got accepted two

weeks ago.

Come on. Look, she got a job on campus.
Angie, this is a good thing.

We fed this baby bird for 18 years.

And now it's time to nudge her out of
the nest.

She'll either fly or she'll land in the
yard and the neighbor's cattle eat half

her body.

Great news.

Lindsay finally said yes.

What got him married?

Oh, come on.

Congratulate me.

Daddy, Carmen is leaving today for
college. George has to go to his

hearing. We've got other things on our
minds.

Yeah, I know what the problem is. You
can't accept the fact that I'm marrying

woman who's only 27.

I can accept that she's 27, Vic. What
I'm not so sure about, dude, is that is

she really a woman?

When you asked her to marry you, did she
look in your eyes and say, I will?

You come home as soon as the hearing's
over. Carmen really wants you to come to

the airport.

I'll be there.

So, I guess congratulations are in order
for you.

Look, we don't know if my mom's going to
prison yet.

No.

I heard you're having a baby.

Oh, yeah.

But you don't sound too excited.

I'm not. Look, I thought I was done
raising kids, but what can I do?

Wait.

There's something important I need to
say to you, son.

And it's something that helps me
whenever I'm facing tough times.

I'm marrying a 27 -year -old!

That's great, Vic. You know, in ten
years, when she goes to her high school

reunion, she can take your ashes.

That's not an ashtray. You just fit your
gum in my husband.

Where's the judge, man? I gotta take my
daughter to the airport.

Oh, it'll be a while, George.

The judge is running late.

You know, I'm not paying you till the
judge gets here.

Sorry, old chum, but if I'm in the
court, I'm on the clock.

Well, if I'm paying you, then you're
going to work. Hey, give me some coffee.

ever fetched coffee for a client before?

And again, I've never had a client agree
to pay me $200 an hour. Would you like

cream?

Mom. Narc.

All right, if we're going to get this
thing thrown out, you have to make a

impression on the judge.

So when you talk about yourself,
accentuate the quality.

Make you look empathetic.

You don't have any of those. Stick to
the facts, Mom.

The facts are going to get me sent to
jail.

Facts are subjective.

Last night, I had a romantic liaison
with my secretary in the office.

My wife called.

I told her I couldn't come home because
I had something on my desk that needed

my attention.

Now, did I lie?

Corchino, yeah, you lied.

I hear what you're saying.

Mom, don't do this, okay? If you get
caught lying, you're going to make this

worse.

Yeah, you're right. George, lying never
works.

You're the smartest guy I know.

Sorry I'm late.

Be seated.

Okay, let's get started.

We're here to determine if the United
States v.

Benita Lopez will be going to trial.
I'll hear from both sides. Is the

present? Here, Your Honor.

Okay, Ms. Lopez. Now, why don't you tell
me what happened on the day in question

when the convenience store was robbed?

Well, it started out like any other day.

I was on my way to church.

From the soup kitchen.

Before I started my shift at the Braille
Institute.

Your Honor,

I demand that this case be thrown out.

On what grounds?

Due to my mom's sexual history.

It is impossible for her to get a fair
trial in Southern California.

The jury...

No jury here. This is my calling.
Besides, who are you? Are you acting as

attorney? Uh, no.

Um... I'm her son. Hello.

Well, go have a seat, son, and don't say
another word or I'll hold you in

contempt.

Yes, Your Honor. I could never do
nothing in court.

You'd be lucky to hold me because I can
talk whenever I want because I'm a human

being. Second, I don't... You don't
like... Get down!

but we have to get going if Carmen's
going to make a flight.

What is it?

I got my period.

I'm not pregnant.

I guess the test was a false positive.

Well, that happens sometimes.

Oh, Princess, I'm so sorry.

George is going to be relieved.

What about you?

It's funny, I wasn't sure how I felt. It
was so unplanned.

But now, I'm a little sad.

Remember how I used to cheer you up when
you were a little girl?

I don't think the tickle monster is
going to help me right now.

Probably not.

But remember, the thing about tickle
monsters is that... You never know when

they're going to attack.

Okay,

okay, okay. Thank you, Daddy. You can
stop now.

I know you're too old for this.

But age means nothing to the tickle
monster.

The truth is, Your Honor, it couldn't
have been me in the car at

the convenience store.

I was busy donating bone marrow to a
stranger.

Thank you, Ms. Lopez.

Have a seat.

Does the prosecution have anything they
wish to say?

Yeah.

We have a videotape from the parking lot
security camera of the defendant

driving the getaway car.

We have blown up the tape and you can
see her laughing and stuffing money into

her bra.

Also, she was wearing the same shirt she
is wearing now.

Trial is set for three days. Three weeks
from today.

Angie, I'm here.

Carmen?

They couldn't wait anymore. Mom had to
take Carmen to the airport.

I can't believe I missed her.

Since you'll probably miss it when I go
to college, want to say goodbye to me

now?

College? Dude, I've seen your report
card. You're going to live above the

like Fonzie.

Where were you?

I got held up in court.

Are you okay?

Angie.

Yeah, honey.

I'm really glad we're gonna have this
baby.

Really?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Because...

I thought you might actually be relieved
if you found out we weren't having this

baby. No.

No, look.

I didn't know Carmen's leaving would hit
me like this.

The baby's the one thing we gotta look
forward to.

So you're ready to raise another kid?

Yeah. Aren't you?

Yeah.

I'd like that.

We're going to see you in nine months.
Or maybe ten or eleven months.

It depends on the date of conception, so
don't start counting weeks or anything.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Hormones.

So, I forgot to ask. What happened with
your mom?

Oh.

She's going to trial.

You'll probably get out before your
grandma does.