All language subtitles for george_lopez_s05e12_enrolls_like_that

What's going on?

Well, the kids are both busy. I thought
maybe we could spend some alone time

together. George would like alone time.

Make George happy.

Maybe after dinner we could crawl into
bed early, watch a DVD.

You could pick anything you want.

What about a Steven Seagal movie?

But one of the early ones before he got
too fat to kick.

Whatever you want.

As long as you're free tonight.

I'm all yours.

Good.

Maybe we'll have time for the movie
after Mac's school assembly.

School assembly?

Would you trick me?

I'm not going.

You know what? You can go by yourself
and sit in the back row with all the

single mothers who drove their men away
with lies.

This is for Mac. We're both going.

What's the meeting about anyway? Well, I
don't know, but they said it was

important. Important?

At the last meeting, there was a man in
a dog suit.

That was Sergeant Sniffer, the police
dog.

Don't get hooked, kid, because getting
off drugs is rough, rough, rough.

You have nothing to do now. You're
going.

All right, fine, I'll go.

But there's always that annoying lady
there that just loves to hear herself

the whole thing.

I wish I could leave before you start
asking all those stupid questions. Well,

why don't you? Because I've got to drive
her home. Vamanos.

This place is half empty.

Usually it's tough to find a seat.

Hello, I'm Principal Stahler.

I wanted to talk to a very select group
of parents tonight.

Yeah, they didn't invite all the losers
this time.

You're all here because none of you
attended college.

Strike that, Angie. We're the losers.

This is in no way meant to cast
aspersions on anyone.

But studies have shown that children
whose parents didn't go to college are

likely to go themselves.

So basically what you're saying is that
we're all stupid.

No, sir.

I just said I don't mean to cast
aspersions on you.

That means I didn't go to college.

I am not trying to insult anyone.

Well, it's too late for that because I
got aspersions all over me and whatnot.

Look, we are just trying to encourage
you to give your son a better chance to

succeed. You don't need a college degree
to be successful.

I managed a whole factory and I did it
without having a college degree.

Okay, I didn't have to spend thousands
of dollars to learn how to binge drink

and throw up on my friends.

I learned that by just getting out there
and doing it.

Come on, Angie, we're out of here. Give
me the keys.

Unless I'm too dumb to figure out how to
drive my own car.

Give me the keys.

I don't have the keys.

Don't tell me you locked them in the car
again.

George!

All right.

Who here can help me break into a car?

Come on, I didn't even go to college.
Somebody's got to know.

Come on, fool, let's go.

There was a school assembly last night.
And you know I like to go trolling for

single mothers.

Well, you don't talk to them anyway. You
just stand around by the snack table

stuffing your face with cookies.

Gee, that's because a cookie never woke
up in bed next to me and cried, What

have I done?

I gotta stop drinking.

No, man.

It wasn't a regular assembly anyways. It
was only for parents who didn't go to

college. They're trying to inspire our
kids by telling them that we're all

idiots.

So when they tell you you're an idiot,
it's inspirational.

But when I do it, I'm a bad mother.

They didn't yell at me during potty
training.

Now when I have trouble, I can't go
unless I yell at myself. Come on, you

idiots!

George, why don't you meet Rick
Martinez? He's a consultant. He's going

us find some ways to chop the budget
down to size.

Well, I'm going to cut to the chase.

I will sleep with you to keep my job.

That didn't work during the Depression,
and it's not going to work now.

Nice to meet you, Rick, but our budget's
fine.

The only thing we're wasting money on is
an expensive consultant.

Don't get all threatened. Rick isn't
here to take your job.

He's way overqualified for that.

Now, if Rick fell down a flight of
stairs and lost half of his brain

then... Nope.

Still overqualified.

I suppose you want to see the budgets
for the last couple years.

George, I'm not going to make your life
miserable.

I started off in a factory just like
this.

Really? And you worked your way up, huh?

Nope. It was a part -time job while I
was in college.

College boy.

Hey, so what would a rich kid be doing
working in a factory?

Rich. I grew up in Boyle Heights.

Couldn't sleep at night because of the
police helicopters.

Yeah, well, my father abandoned us, so I
was happy to hear the police

helicopters.

The only time a grown man ever gave me
guidance, get back in the house, son.

I didn't have a dad either. He died and
my mom had to support us. Yeah, well, my

mom had to work two jobs and I had a
learning disability.

Dyslexia? Yep. Me too.

We have a lot in common.

Yeah, you guys started out the same and
then Rick, you know, did a lot better.

Hey, but you could have done just as
well if you'd have gone to college,

Yeah, I would have.

But I got married right out of high
school.

This is my wife, Angie. Wow.

She's really beautiful. You are a lucky
guy. Thank you, Rick.

Hey, are you married? Yep.

15 years.

Met her in college.

Oh, you met her in college.

That's nice.

Come on, man.

Let's see the picture, dude.

George, let's not do this. Oh, come on.
Why not?

You went to college.

You got a good job.

It doesn't matter if my wife is hotter
than yours, dude. It's not a

Shit.

I can never win nothing.

Is she the girl from the beer
commercials?

She does a little modeling.

Charlie, you seen her naked and
everything?

Dude.

Oh, I'm sorry. That was totally
inappropriate.

Ernie! What?

Give me a picture of Cochino.

Rick, I hope this isn't out of line, but
she's had some really nice work done.

The real.

Jack brought in this consultant, Rick
Martinez.

The guy's perfect, Angie. Smart,
confident, successful.

I don't like you have a crutch on him.

Angie, please, Rick is so out of my
league.

Come on, you're exaggerating. No one's
better than my man.

Oh, yeah, you should see what his wife
looks like.

A picture of his wife? No, when he went
to lunch, Ernie stole it and made a

bunch of copies.

Wow.

She is beautiful.

I'm going to need that back. I've got to
get it signed tomorrow night at the car

show.

Hey, Karma, fine.

Where's Max? You were supposed to pick
him up after school.

I went there, but they said he was out
sick today.

He's not sick.

Well, didn't he have a big test today?

Oh, no, I bet he did.

Why don't you send him away, and then
it'll be just the three of us like it

back in the good old days?

That's funny, Carmen, because back in
the good old days, I remember there was

just two of us.

Go to your room. I want to talk to your
brother.

Should we do good cop, bad cop? Yeah,
whatever you want tonight, but right

let's deal with Max.

Hey, Max, are you all right?

Yeah, why?

Oh, my God.

You don't even know.

Apparently someone in your class missed
a test.

And your teacher, Mr. Sanchez, got
worried and she went looking.

Yeah, she went to that pizza place
across from the school to see if the kid

there. But a pit bull chased her in the
street.

And she got hit by a bus.

She's still okay, right?

Well, she was, but the ambulance that
came to get her didn't realize she was

still in the street. I just did this to
go to the

arcade. I know she go looking for me.

Busted!

You know better than to skip school.

It was only one day.

Max, you missed a test.

What? the big deal if i miss the test
i'm not going to college anyway yes you

are you didn't excuse me i decided to
raise a family i still might go someday

dad said you don't need to so i'm not
going hey don't listen to what i said

i was wrong you know today i met a guy
who has the same exact background as i

except he went to college and because of
that he's got a better job a nicer

house uh may i go ahead a smoking hot
white max

Trust me, man, you got to go to college.

I hate this. I'm not good enough to get
into college.

Look, I used to think the same thing,
but now I know if I worked harder, I

have gotten through it.

Yeah, right. You didn't go, I don't have
to go.

Oh, so that's how it is, huh?

If I went to college, you'd go?

Yeah, but you didn't go, so I don't have
to go.

Then here it is.

I'm going to college, and you know what?
So are you.

Angie, call Harvard and get them on the
line.

I'm on the line.

You're really going to college. Damn
right I am. And so are you.

Because you know what? When I put my
mind to something, I do it. That's it.

Okay, how do I get out of this?

You're at the college, man. You figure
it out. Why did you stop me? Well, how

was I supposed to know you were going to
set a good example for your kids all of

a sudden?

Well, when I started talking and you
started feeling proud of me, you should

have known that something was wrong.

George, I went on the Internet and found
an application for the community

college. Here, I printed it out for you.

You know, Angie, I don't think we really
have the money for me to go back to

college.

It's only $28 a unit.

Well, you know, Angie, I really don't
think I have the time to go back to

college. It's only two nights a week.
Close! I don't have to close!

Honey, I understand you're nervous, but
think about it.

You could actually be a college
graduate.

But I hated school, Angie.

I mean, I sucked at it because of my
dyslexia.

I hid behind this fat kid in class so
they wouldn't call on me. Then one day,

takes one of those herbal diet pills,
his stupid heart explodes, and I get a

I'm not saying it's going to be easy for
you, but think about the example you'll

be setting for Max.

Hmm, they have a business degree.

What's that?

A college application.

George is going back to school.

Why?

Do they need a big -headed mascot to run
around the football games?

No, if they needed a mascot, they could
just put a saddle on you and ride you

around after touchdowns.

Benny, this is serious. George is
thinking about getting his business

Angie, you're wasting her time. She
don't care.

George. You're not college material.

You were lucky to get through high
school.

You see, mijo, the world is divided up
into two kinds of people.

I would go on, but I bet I already lost
you because of the math.

You know what, Bob? You're wrong about
me.

I'm going to go back to school so I can
set an example for my son.

I'm going to do all the stuff college
kids do.

Protest stuff I don't understand, pull
all -nighters. I'm going to go to

for spring break and take my top off
because this co -ed has gone wild.

What's all that?

Carmen's filling out her application for
the University of Michigan.

I was about to do the same for Valley
Community College.

Carmen, we're both going to college at
the same time? If I get in, Dad, this

application is crazy. They want my
transcripts, test scores. It's like a

big thing.

I know it's tough, but we'll get through
this together.

Please describe in detail the personal
benefits you derive from your volunteer

work and or community service.

Have you ever been convicted of a
felony?

What would that look like?

of all your college preparatory
elective.

Have you taken an illegal substance in
the last seven years?

Seven years.

Hey, sign it, date it, and fax it. It
looks like I'm in.

Classes haven't even started and I'm way
ahead of you.

Dad, you had one page to fill out.

Look, Carmen, I know we're going to
competing schools, but let's not bring

rivalry into the house.

So, Max, your father's really doing it.

He's going to college.

No way.

I already filled out my application.
Check it out.

You know, when I said that stuff at the
assembly about how you didn't have to go

to college, it was just covering for the
fact that I never went, okay? I was

over -consummating.

Over -consummating. Angie, I'm sorry,
but college students use big words,

I don't want to make you feel inferior
or anything.

Man, I never thought you'd actually go
through with this.

Max, you made a deal with your dad. If
he goes, you go.

You better get upstairs and study.

I'm so proud of you, honey.

Do you realize that this time next week,
you'll be in your first college class?

What if I'm weighing over my head and I
can't do the work?

Well, I'm sure the teacher will help you
if you have any trouble.

You know what? That's what I'm going to
do this time.

When I was in high school, I was afraid
to ask questions because I didn't want

to look dumb.

So I just got by by making people laugh,
you know, turning my eyelids inside

out, shoving pencils up my nose.

Wait a minute.

That's why you were acting like that on
our honeymoon?

You had questions and you were afraid to
ask for help?

I didn't need help.

I made a cheat sheet, but I didn't know
that the lights were going to be all the

way up.

Hey, you.

George Lopez, class of 07.

Hey, can you take a picture of me with
my camera phone? I want my son to see me

on my first day of college.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I want them to know
that learning is fun. Wait a minute.

Welcome to microeconomics. Please take
your seats, everyone.

My name is Professor Tracy Lim.

I will be your instructor for this
class.

We'll start with a brief overview of
economic theories.

Come on, guys. Hey, if this is working,
then these aren't.

Okay?

I expect more from one of my own, so
I'll give up the sad, eh? Very sad.

Take it away, professor. I know where
you live, too. I see your face.

In layman's terms, we'll be studying a
branch of economic theory that delved

into the behavior of individual economic
agents and their ramifications on the

globalized market.

Yes? I got a question about something
that I didn't understand.

Oh, and which part was that?

Everything after in layman's terms.

It's hard. I'll tell you when you sign
up and then you get here.

I see we have our funny man.

Oh, it's okay. You know, I like comedy,
too.

Oh, this is one of my favorites.

Knock, knock.

Okay.

Who's there?

Be quiet. You're wasting everyone's
time.

Be quiet. You're wasting everyone's time
who?

See where we stand.

Who here knows the difference between
inflation, recession, deflation,

depression?

Good, good.

Yes, what's the difference? Oh, I don't
know the answer. I just have another

question.

Is it an economics question?

Yes. What is it? Is it too late for me
to get my $28 back?

I'm not doing anything.

I saw you passing a note. Are you
cheating?

No, I'm not, I swear.

Then maybe you'd like to share the note
with the whole class.

Don't want to. Read it.

Do you think Professor Lim is hot?
Circle yes or no.

Somebody passed it to me. I just made a
circle.

You know, I would have respected you
more if you were cheating.

Saskia, I'm going to change my answer to
no. Forget you.