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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,199 --> 00:00:08,700 Oh, man, those Christmas cookies smell great. 2 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,220 Here, Ernie, I saved this for you. 3 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:17,060 Look at him go. 4 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:20,600 This explains why he never got a second date with that girl that wore chocolate 5 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,600 lip gloss. 6 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,540 Well, good night. 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,660 Ernie, Ernie, slow down. You're going to chip a tooth. 8 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:35,720 Don't do it, Angie. Your hand smells like batter. You'll lose an arm. 9 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:44,300 Look, it's a Cuban Santa 10 00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:48,480 Claus. He doesn't have a sleigh or reindeer. He's just got a raft pulled by 11 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,480 relatives. 12 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,760 I don't care what you say. 13 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,280 I'm in a great mood. 14 00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:55,860 I just got off the phone with your sister. 15 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:00,480 For the first time, the entire Palmetto family will be in Miami for Christmas. 16 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,920 We're having a reunion. 17 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,420 This is so great. The whole family hasn't been together in years. 18 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,320 Angie, I can't take your whole family talking down to me. I thought we were 19 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,320 going to see your Aunt Claudia. 20 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,740 At least when she insults me, I can just turn down her oxygen tank. She falls 21 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:15,740 asleep. 22 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,260 You turned down my aunt's oxygen tank? 23 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,140 Of course not. What kind of person do you think I am? I just pinched the hose 24 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,140 little bit. 25 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,120 What are you worried about, George? You're a big success, man. Yeah, George. 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,120 don't know what you're worried about. 27 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:36,040 There'll be six doctors there, eight lawyers, two judges, a state senator, 28 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,360 one factory worker. 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,340 Maybe you can tell them what it's like to eat lunch from a truck. 30 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,180 Maybe you can tell them what it's like to lie about your age on your Internet 31 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:49,180 dating ad. 32 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,760 That's right. I went online. 33 00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:52,920 I'm Juicy Maria 818. 34 00:01:55,470 --> 00:01:56,650 I don't know what you're talking about. 35 00:01:57,610 --> 00:02:00,190 Really? You get stood up for coffee last Saturday? 36 00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:01,790 Damn it! 37 00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:05,210 What about Jessica 1960? 38 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:09,009 I don't know. Show up at the park, take your chances. 39 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,470 Fine. I can take a joke. 40 00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:16,450 By the way, you're sitting next to Catherine Ross at Christmas dinner. 41 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:21,230 She fell in the shower and she can only grunt now, so you two should hit it off. 42 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,390 Well, at least your grunts will make more sense than your English. 43 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,390 Would you two stop it? 44 00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:31,050 George, you're going to have a good time in Miami. 45 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:33,210 Daddy, come help me finish the tree. 46 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,390 Man, this Christmas is going to be hell. 47 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:41,770 All those snobby relatives are going to treat me like crap. So what if I didn't 48 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,609 go to college? 49 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,790 So what if I worked in a factory? Does that make me less important than some 50 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:50,470 senator or a judge or a doctor? Hey, we're all equal in God's eyes. 51 00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:52,410 Orale, Dalai Lama! 52 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:56,809 You know what? 53 00:02:58,430 --> 00:02:59,430 I'm not going. 54 00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,150 But it's Christmas. 55 00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:02,710 You gotta be with your family. 56 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:04,470 They'll have a better time without me. 57 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,370 Angie will be with her relatives, and everybody will be happy to see their 58 00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:10,670 There's no way that Angie's gonna be cool with this. I know. 59 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:14,390 That's why I'm gonna tell her that the Powers brothers are making me work on 60 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:15,390 Christmas Eve. 61 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,970 You're gonna lie to your wife on Christmas? 62 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,690 was built on lies to make people feel better. 63 00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:25,550 What are you talking about? 64 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:26,909 All right. 65 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,950 It's probably time we had this conversation. Sit down. 66 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:34,850 You know how every year you give me your gift first? Mm -hmm. And then seconds 67 00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:37,030 later, I end up giving you the exact same gift? 68 00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,310 Well, that reminds me. 69 00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:41,390 I got your Christmas gift. 70 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,390 What's that? 71 00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:45,410 Two free rounds of golf at Ocean Pine. 72 00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,110 Was that your place? Yeah. 73 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:48,510 This is great. 74 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,430 Ow. 75 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:51,860 What'd you get me? 76 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,200 You know, man, this is weird. 77 00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:59,440 You know, this is the same as last year, like there's some strange connection 78 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,980 between us. That's the way you hang out. 79 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:08,140 I got you a free 80 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,600 round of golf at Ocean Pines! 81 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,940 How come you didn't get the two -for -one deal? 82 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,200 I use discounts on games that cheapens it. 83 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,020 Oh, God, dude, I feel terrible, man. 84 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,460 Here, you should have this back. 85 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,940 All right, well, as long as you learned a lesson. Yeah. 86 00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:35,780 Damn it, Jack, this isn't fair. 87 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,120 How can you make me work on Christmas Eve? 88 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,660 I'm going to Miami with my family, and there's nothing that you can say? 89 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,320 Oh, it's you. Where the hell is your mom? 90 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,600 She's coming. 91 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:57,070 Is your... you keep empty no um it's hot in miami all my clothes are linen but 92 00:04:57,070 --> 00:05:01,550 it really feels like there's nothing in here you're curious about everything and 93 00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:08,410 you gotta take a test huh get in the car damn it jack this isn't fair 94 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:12,590 how can you make me work on christmas eve i am going to miami with my family 95 00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:17,730 there's nothing that you can say where the hell is your mom she's coming 96 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,040 Anything in here? 97 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:23,260 Are you crazy? 98 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:27,000 Carmen, now when security asks me if anybody had on my bag, I have to say 99 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,780 You put the whole trip in jeopardy. Get in the car. 100 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,120 These kids, you can't leave nothing without touching everything. 101 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,660 Damage check, this isn't fair. How can you make me work on Christmas Eve? I am 102 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:42,860 going to Miami with my family, and there's nothing that you can say that 103 00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:43,860 stop me. 104 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:45,700 Except that. 105 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,220 I didn't know people's jobs were in danger. 106 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:50,840 Well, this is unexpected. 107 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,060 All right. 108 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,180 I'll be there. All right! 109 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,140 I'll be there. 110 00:05:58,180 --> 00:05:59,180 What's going on? 111 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,040 You didn't get it from that? 112 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,500 What? 113 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,580 I can't go to Miami, Ang. I gotta work. 114 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,880 On Christmas Eve? 115 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:13,420 No. No way. I'm calling Jack. 116 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,100 He said that there was a big screw -up with the Boeing order, and if we don't 117 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,280 get this stuff out, we're going to lose the contract and people are going to get 118 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:20,280 laid off. 119 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:22,460 Doc? 120 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,140 I know, but what am I supposed to do? 121 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:29,140 I guess I have to call Aunt Claudia and tell her that we can't come to Miami. If 122 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:32,160 you have to work, then we're going to stay here with you. No, Angie, look. 123 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,540 I don't want you to miss your family reunion. 124 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:39,140 Just because my Christmas is going to be ruined doesn't mean that yours should 125 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:40,140 be. 126 00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:49,770 George Lopez, sometimes you surprise me. Just when I was about to have a talk 127 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:52,890 with you about being selfish, you do something like this. 128 00:06:57,630 --> 00:07:00,430 You know, this is the holidays. We shouldn't be critical of each other. 129 00:07:01,470 --> 00:07:03,970 Well, talk about how judgmental you are after the new year. 130 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:08,570 Unless you can work on it by then, but I'm not holding my breath. 131 00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:13,770 Are you sure you're going to be okay? I mean... 132 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,600 Spending Christmas alone? You won't even have your mom because she's gambling in 133 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,620 Reno. Angie, I'm going to be fine. Look at it this way. 134 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:25,160 You seeing your family on Christmas is my gift to you. Huh? Let's open it 135 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,160 together. 136 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,840 This is a really sweet thing you're doing. 137 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:37,460 Jeff, know the whole time you're gone, I'll be thinking of you, baby, okay? 138 00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:39,080 I miss you already. 139 00:07:57,550 --> 00:08:00,110 doing with your golf club i'm throwing a tantrum because i can't be with my 140 00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:06,670 family on christmas why should i have to suffer why me it'll be okay dad 141 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:11,330 thanks i never thought of it like that you better go now max because i feel the 142 00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:15,610 darkness coming back okay be a good boy all right okay bye -bye now 143 00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:53,990 Then I played a little golf, went to a movie, smoked a cigar, and organized all 144 00:08:53,990 --> 00:08:57,030 the tools in my garage. Asked me where my hammer is. Where? By the front door 145 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,270 right there with the little outline, black. 146 00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:01,330 Dan, you got a lot done. 147 00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:04,670 Finish it up. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. 148 00:09:06,570 --> 00:09:08,070 It's only six. Why are they closing? 149 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:09,350 Dude, it's Christmas Eve. 150 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,750 Everybody's got to go home to their families. Not us. We're going out. Two 151 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,230 bachelors, just like back in the day. 152 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:18,810 Actually, I can't. I got to go to Bakersfield. We're going to spend 153 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:19,810 with my Tia Lencha. 154 00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:25,070 Well, Lencha, wasn't she that teacher that got fired for having an affair with 155 00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:26,070 14 -year -old student? 156 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:29,670 Yeah, but it's not that weird. You know, he's tall for his age, and she really 157 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,170 doesn't look like she's in her 50s. 158 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,470 I bet they wouldn't have got caught if she hadn't have gone to the prom. 159 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:41,230 You gonna be all right here by yourself? 160 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,750 Me? Are you kidding? You know my mom never celebrated Christmas. 161 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,430 I'm used to spending it alone. 162 00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:48,030 I kind of like it now. 163 00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:50,100 Okay, then. I'm going. All right. 164 00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:57,140 You sure you're going to be okay? 165 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,680 Yeah, man, I'm going to be fine. 166 00:09:58,920 --> 00:09:59,980 Get out of here. All right. 167 00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:04,240 Hey, Merry Christmas. Okay, Merry Christmas. Hey, call me all you want 168 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,240 got a lot of holiday minutes. 169 00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:07,660 Seriously, 170 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,800 man, we're closed. 171 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:11,900 Okay, I'm out of here. 172 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,580 Hey, you know, if you're not doing anything, man, you want to go catch a 173 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,700 movie. It's Christmas Eve. I'm spending it with my family. 174 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,480 Don't you have anyone? 175 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,340 Yeah, but I lied and said that I had to work so I wouldn't have to spend time 176 00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:27,700 with my wife's family. They look down on me. I wonder why they look down on a 177 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,520 liar who spends Christmas Eve in a bar. 178 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:32,959 All right. 179 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,900 The truth is I'm a Christmas angel. Send down here to see if you'd be kind to a 180 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,400 stranger and guess what? You failed. 181 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,720 So good luck driving home on the icy roads tonight. 182 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:44,260 This is L .A. 183 00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:50,640 Yeah, that's right. This is L .A., the city of angels, where miracles can 184 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,300 for those who believe. 185 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:53,580 Watch out. 186 00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:58,940 Want me to call you, Ted? Yeah, that would be nice. 187 00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:27,030 What are you doing here? You're supposed to be gambling. 188 00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:29,050 Oh, I got kicked out of the casino. 189 00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:33,090 Apparently, Tony Orlando doesn't like to have panties thrown at him. 190 00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:35,970 You went to a Tony Orlando concert? 191 00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:37,970 No, he was playing blackjack. 192 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,110 Hey, what are you doing home? 193 00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:42,770 I didn't go to Miami. 194 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,250 Hey, look, now that you're here, you don't have to steal my tequila. Why 195 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,250 we just hang out? 196 00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:52,150 Oh, wow, George, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I gotta get to work. 197 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,310 I'm your boss. 198 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,220 I know the factory's closed. You're lying to me. 199 00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:59,360 Do I have to make up another one or are you going to let me off the hook? 200 00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:03,780 Why don't we just spend the holidays together and have a good time for once? 201 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,640 Yeah, you know what? 202 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 You're right, George. 203 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,760 I'm just going to go get some smokes out of the car and we'll finally have that 204 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,960 Christmas you wanted. 205 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,620 I'm going to hear your car peeling out, aren't I? 206 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,400 George. 207 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,580 Please, it's Christmas. 208 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,180 I'm just going to coast down the hill and pop the clutch. You won't hear a 209 00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,180 thing. 210 00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:35,120 Merry Christmas, Mommy. 211 00:13:04,319 --> 00:13:06,540 Angie, what are you doing? We talked about this. 212 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,520 Carmen's sleeping. 213 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:14,560 Before you get mad, the tree was half -priced. I told you we don't have money 214 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,940 waste on a Christmas tree. 215 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:19,140 I'm sorry. This is what normal people do on Christmas. 216 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,100 My mom used to have a tree in every room and decorate each one with a different 217 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,080 theme. We were poor, so we had our own Christmas traditions. 218 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:28,960 Every Christmas, see, but... 219 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,340 Sneak into the living room, hang my sock on the fireplace. 220 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,220 Then my shirt and my pants, because we didn't have a dryer. 221 00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:38,740 Honey, I know. 222 00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:43,660 I know you had it rough. But it's time to start our own tradition. 223 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,260 It's your daughter's first Christmas. We should make it special. 224 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,760 She's not going to remember any of this, Angie. 225 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,340 She's three months old. She hasn't even smiled yet. 226 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,200 What, so Christmas means nothing to you? 227 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:58,100 No. It means double time at the factory. That's why I signed on for another 228 00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,100 shift. 229 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,260 You're working on Christmas Eve? 230 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,680 Angie. You should want to be with your family. 231 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,220 Angie, look. 232 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,840 What? Angie, Carmen's smiling. 233 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,140 Her first smile. 234 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,720 She likes the light. 235 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,300 That or it's gas. 236 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,340 No, it's the light. 237 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,320 I'm happy we were able to see her first smile together. 238 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,180 You know what? I'm going to call the factory and get out of my shift. 239 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,580 I want to be with my family on Christmas Eve. 240 00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:14,060 I'm okay. 241 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,240 I can handle this. 242 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,580 I like being alone. 243 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:41,940 We can all sing one together. I'll be like that. 244 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,000 Jingle bell, jingle bell. 245 00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:49,380 We got other houses to get to. Look, I'll make hot chocolate and get a candy 246 00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,000 cane. We can all stir it. It'll be fun. 247 00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,620 Kids, get in the van. 248 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:54,840 This is not a drill. 249 00:15:58,820 --> 00:15:59,820 Where are you guys going? 250 00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:14,710 Not alone, I got TV. 251 00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:17,910 TV's all I've ever had and TV's all I've ever needed. 252 00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:19,650 It always cheers me up. 253 00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:22,610 Do holidays make you depressed? 254 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,050 Shut up. 255 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:37,690 One final touch and I'll have a friend for Christmas. 256 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:46,510 Perfect timing. My scotch was getting warm. 257 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:48,850 Why are you crying? 258 00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:52,310 I made a big, stupid mistake this morning. 259 00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:58,830 Come on, George. 260 00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:02,090 The whole family is going to help Santa deliver toys. 261 00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:03,830 Sorry, 262 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:07,670 but I have a lot of work to do. You know, put the tools away in the toy 263 00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:08,810 clean out the reindeer barn. 264 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,630 I don't know what Santa's feeding Blitzen, but I know how he got his name. 265 00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:16,950 Buckle up, my pointed -eared friend. 266 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:18,650 It's showtime. 267 00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:20,750 Bye, honey. 268 00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:22,210 Bye, Dad. 269 00:17:22,329 --> 00:17:28,470 Bye. I lied because I thought it'd be fun to smoke cigars and hang out by 270 00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:29,470 myself. 271 00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:31,230 But now I'm lonely. 272 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,390 Will you be my friend? 273 00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:37,690 No, I have a date with a big jolly guy in a red suit who likes me to bounce on 274 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:38,690 his lap. 275 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,670 But Santa's out delivering presents. 276 00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:42,730 Who said anything about Santa? 277 00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:53,990 All alone on Christmas Eve, why'd I let my family leave? 278 00:17:54,950 --> 00:18:01,470 Tis a season without glee, woe is, woe is, woe is me. 279 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,300 I need to be on the first flight to Miami. 280 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:26,520 I know it's Christmas Eve. Look, I don't care what it costs, okay? 281 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,880 First class, full price, whatever. 282 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,260 I just need to see my family. 283 00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:33,620 How much? 284 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,580 What if I told you that my mom died and I'm going to her funeral? 285 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,120 It's still that much? 286 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,380 Actually, I just need to send my mom's Great Dane to the funeral. 287 00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:51,110 You don't look in those crates, do you? 288 00:18:58,490 --> 00:18:59,530 Here's my death certificate. 289 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:05,410 I have to say, I never thought I would see my son try to get a cheaper airline 290 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,310 ticket with a funeral scam. 291 00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,030 I'm proud of you, George. 292 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,290 Where did you get this anyway? 293 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:18,650 Oh. I got it when I went to Graceland. I just whited out Elvis' name. 294 00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:23,070 Well, thank you very much, Mama. 295 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:28,430 Hey, honey. 296 00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:31,350 Angie! Merry Christmas! 297 00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:33,910 Oh, my God, I don't believe it. You guys are home. 298 00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:35,370 I can't believe it. 299 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:39,110 I wanted to call you from the airport, but the kids wanted to surprise you. 300 00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:41,510 Look, and I was going to surprise you guys, too. I was going to fly to Miami 301 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:42,850 because I missed you guys so much. 302 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,100 And then you left, and the penguin went to sleep with Santa, and the carolers 303 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,620 came over, but I wasn't wearing any pants. 304 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,780 Oh, my God. This is Grandma's death certificate. 305 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,200 Dad killed Grandma, and now he's drunk and celebrating. 306 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,100 No, I was going to use it to get a cheaper flight. 307 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,100 Look, I realize that I never want to spend Christmas without my family again. 308 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:07,080 The beautiful thing is that you all felt the same way and flew all the way back 309 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080 to be with me. 310 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:13,480 Or... the storm in Chicago and our flight to Miami was canceled. Max! 311 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,360 It doesn't matter. This is meant to be. 312 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,500 This is our Christmas miracle. 313 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,760 The Lopez family is back together. 314 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,760 Anna, we can stop the storm in Chicago. 315 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,100 Over. 316 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,360 Anna, cover blown. 317 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,579 Code red. 318 00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:34,740 Get me out! 25993

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