Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,080
I don't want to get gardening stuff with
you anymore. Honey, you're
2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,760
overreacting. That old white lady
thought we were two laborers you picked
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,760
the street.
4
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,340
Yeah, she even offered me a hundred
bucks to clean her gutters, but I said
5
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,440
Well, I took a $20 deposit, so you'll be
there Tuesday morning.
6
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,740
No, not here. I need the soil by the
pots.
7
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,940
No, lady, it's too hot.
8
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,020
My skin is burning.
9
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,970
You want to play video games? But
Grandma's still asleep on the couch.
10
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,350
I thought when Grandma moved in, she was
going to get her own room.
11
00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:42,490
She's still asleep. It's after 3 o
'clock.
12
00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:46,030
Just tired of getting up. We did, but
she didn't even move.
13
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,590
Oh, my God.
14
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:50,630
Maybe she's not asleep.
15
00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:52,290
Do you think?
16
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,970
I'll get the champagne.
17
00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:57,970
The kids.
18
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,070
They can have some, too. Good for all of
us.
19
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:12,730
Mom. Okay.
20
00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:14,990
I just took CPR and PE.
21
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,830
We're supposed to pull her tongue out
and scoop any vomit from her airway.
22
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:30,950
We did everything we could.
23
00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,270
I'm calling it. Ten after three.
24
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,580
Why don't we just let her sleep it off,
okay? Let's go.
25
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,560
Dude.
26
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,760
I know how to wake her up.
27
00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:57,980
Put her hand in warm water.
28
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,440
What are you, 10?
29
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,280
Carry the couch down the block, put it
by the train tracks, and let Amtrak wake
30
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,280
her ass up.
31
00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,350
Well, can I make you something to eat?
32
00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:29,790
I'm not quite ready to die.
33
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,890
But I'll let you know.
34
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,890
Something's wrong with your mom.
35
00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:51,070
She wasn't hungover. She just slept.
36
00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:54,390
not even hungry.
37
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:58,930
So?
38
00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:05,210
So, I think it finally sunk in that her
house burned down and she lost
39
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,210
everything.
40
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,230
I think she's clinically depressed.
41
00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:14,870
You know, I'd say that that sounds
silly, but you're a wedding planner, so
42
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:15,870
must know these things.
43
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:24,690
I don't know what depression is like
because I've gone through it. Get out.
44
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:25,730
When?
45
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,230
After Carmen was born.
46
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,950
What are you talking about? After Carmen
was born, everything was great.
47
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,850
I barely said a word for two months.
48
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,870
Oh, right.
49
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:41,150
That was hard on us.
50
00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,090
You should check on her.
51
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:48,190
Look, Angie, she's down because life's
kicked the crap out of her.
52
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,980
She doesn't have depression. That's a
rich person's disease.
53
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,740
Tiffany, your nanny, says you're
depressed.
54
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:01,620
Now, let's go out in the yard and talk
about it on the Ferris wheel, shall we?
55
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,620
Just talk to her.
56
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,840
Hey, Mom.
57
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,640
Are you clinically depressed or what?
58
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,110
Ernie took it with him
59
00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:36,850
that's
60
00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:38,390
what you were like right after Carmen
was born
61
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,120
you made you some lunch.
62
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:10,580
Not hungry.
63
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,280
What are you looking at, Mom? The TV's
not on.
64
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,300
Are you watching that gorilla on the
screen?
65
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,480
Because that's just your reflection.
66
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,600
Come on, Mom, snap out of it. I just
insulted you. You got nothing?
67
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,910
You know, I ran out of shampoo this
morning. There was a new bottle.
68
00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:39,950
That's one big head.
69
00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:49,530
I can't control my kids. My daughter's
wearing a thong and my son might be too.
70
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,610
Have you seen his hair?
71
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,670
My wife's a lazy princess.
72
00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:55,950
What?
73
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,290
Uh -oh.
74
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,530
She's going to yell at me. She looks mad
and I'm going to take it because I'm
75
00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,530
whipped.
76
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,900
Can I talk to you in the kitchen?
77
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,460
What choice do I have? You run
everything around here.
78
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,540
I can't do nothing. Sounds like I'm
neutered in my mind. George!
79
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,040
Man, she's really out of it. I've never
seen her like this. I went online and
80
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,500
looked up clinical depression. Come
here.
81
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:24,540
Crawl down. Your mom has all the
symptoms.
82
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,840
Giant limbs and scrotums?
83
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,840
Too far, that's elephantitis.
84
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,640
Let's go back up to the dean.
85
00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:39,620
And how does that guy buy underwear?
86
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,240
George!
87
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,560
This is serious. Your mom needs
professional help.
88
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,460
My mom's not going to see a shrink.
89
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,520
She'll snap out of this on her own.
90
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:53,100
Until then, I think we should just enjoy
the quiet and treat her like a throw
91
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,100
pillow that cries.
92
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,000
Hey, Jack, come on in. Hey, George. Hey,
Angie. I hope I'm not intruding, but
93
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,950
I... Well, I just wanted to see your
mom.
94
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,630
Oh, that's so sweet of you.
95
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:09,270
Yeah, the rumor mill at work says she's
gone crazy.
96
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,730
That she's yelling at lamps and eating
out of garbage cans.
97
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,050
I kind of wanted to see that.
98
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:23,250
She's just a little down, that's all.
You know how rumors can get out of
99
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,870
control. So where is your mom? She's in
the living room.
100
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:28,370
Mom.
101
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,160
Jack Fear.
102
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,419
How is she?
103
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,039
The same.
104
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:47,340
Look, George, we all love your mom, but
she's missed two weeks of work already.
105
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,780
She's used up all of her personal days,
all of her vacation days.
106
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,900
Mel and I have been very generous so
far.
107
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,240
What are you saying, Jack?
108
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,300
I got a company to run. Somebody's got
to inspect the parts, so if she's not
109
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,820
back in by Monday, I'm going to have to
replace her.
110
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,590
What? You can't fire her without a
written warning.
111
00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:07,530
That's true.
112
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,450
Check the card in the flowers.
113
00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:19,770
Benny's already depressed. If she loses
her job, what's going to happen to her?
114
00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:21,170
I'll tell you what's going to happen.
115
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,470
She'll never leave.
116
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,670
She'll sleep on that couch until she
dies.
117
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,770
You know, people can't live without
hope, Angie.
118
00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:31,070
You think she's that far gone? I'm
talking about me.
119
00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,020
Got to get her back to work on Monday.
120
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,460
If she's not going to see a therapist,
there's no way she's going to be in
121
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,020
to go back to work in two days.
122
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,640
So we'll fix her ourselves.
123
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,280
Because that's what Lopez's do. Watch
out, we heal our own.
124
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:52,280
Remember when my aunt died, my Uncle
Oscar was so depressed he wouldn't leave
125
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,219
the house?
126
00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:56,360
We went over there, threw him a party,
cheered him right up.
127
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,300
He's a homeless alcoholic now.
128
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,360
Yeah, but he's out of the house.
129
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,930
We don't even know where he is. That's
how good he's doing.
130
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:11,390
Hey, Mom.
131
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:15,010
You know, when you're going through
tough times, it helps to be around loved
132
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:16,010
ones.
133
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:18,290
Ernie and I bumped into some of yours at
the liquor store.
134
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:25,730
Jack.
135
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,210
Jim.
136
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:29,790
Johnny.
137
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:31,450
The captain.
138
00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:44,680
Oh, shiver me timber!
139
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,960
All right, that's enough.
140
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,160
All right, I'll be quitting then.
141
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:56,040
Kids, are you ready yet?
142
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,660
Benny, the kids put together a show for
you.
143
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:07,080
Grandma, we know that you think this is
a bad time, but we want to show you that
144
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,580
you can overcome any obstacle because
you've done it before.
145
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:16,370
and enjoy Benny Lopez and American
Tragedy.
146
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,550
Where's that stupid pirate with the
booze?
147
00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:28,950
But
148
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:35,970
you
149
00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,650
didn't give up. You survived.
150
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,810
You got pregnant at 16 and dropped out
of school.
151
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:27,570
the daughter she gave away in the time
she got gonorrhea. Well, kids, you've
152
00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:30,270
done a great job. Thank you so much.
Thank you, kids.
153
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,050
Anybody else want to pile on?
154
00:12:40,350 --> 00:12:41,970
Mom, we're just trying to cheer you up.
155
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:45,310
You know, maybe you and Angie should go
out for that day of beauty you keep
156
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,169
talking about.
157
00:12:46,170 --> 00:12:47,190
We just got back.
158
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,360
You don't have to tell me. Look at you.
You're glowing.
159
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,400
Mom, Jack came by and said if you don't
go to work on Monday, you're going to
160
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,400
lose your job.
161
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:10,140
I already lost my house, my car, my life
savings, my dog.
162
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,900
You think I care if I lose my job?
163
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,060
What is she talking about? She doesn't
have a dog.
164
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:23,610
She's probably talking about McCloud.
165
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:25,870
Who's McCloud?
166
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:29,950
Oh, he's a stray your mom took in. My
dad saw her feeding the table scraps.
167
00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:33,830
That dog's probably the closest thing
she ever came to loving something.
168
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,310
I'm sorry, dude.
169
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:43,030
I hope he didn't die in the fire.
170
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:46,610
No, I saw him in the alley just the
other day. He probably ran away when her
171
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,610
house burned down.
172
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:54,340
cared about survived the fire. That may
be just the thing she needs to pull her
173
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,340
out of her depression.
174
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,399
That's it.
175
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,480
I gotta find McCloud.
176
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840
And you know what?
177
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,340
Statistically, people who have pets live
longer.
178
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:11,720
I think I still have to find the dog.
179
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,960
Cloud?
180
00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:24,410
Cloud? I know, I saw him around here.
181
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:26,650
I've been looking for hours.
182
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:27,950
Oh, hey, there he is.
183
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,350
That's McCloud.
184
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:30,990
Okay.
185
00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:33,870
I'll distract him with the bologna while
you get him on the leash.
186
00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:36,170
Why didn't you tell me that was the
plan?
187
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:38,550
I'm telling you now, give me the
bologna. No!
188
00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:43,430
Ernie, where's the bologna?
189
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:45,710
Inside me.
190
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,850
How the hell did you eat it? What did
you think the bologna was for?
191
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,110
For coming with you!
192
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:54,849
All right.
193
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,090
Just keep an eye out for me.
194
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,170
I'll get the leash on him.
195
00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:00,330
McCloud. Hey, boy.
196
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,250
Let's just get him and go.
197
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:24,630
Don't panic.
198
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,410
What the hell are you doing with my dog?
199
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,350
Okay. You.
200
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,210
What the hell is going on here?
201
00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:39,050
I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the new mayor.
202
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:45,130
I've decided to meet my constituents
because I believe together we can make
203
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,170
a better Los Angeles.
204
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:51,630
Come on, Felipe. We have a follow -up in
Koreatown. Who are you?
205
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,260
George Lopez.
206
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,060
My mom's the one whose house burned
down.
207
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,620
So you're the loser's son she's always
complaining about.
208
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,560
She talks about me.
209
00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:05,860
Look, here's the thing.
210
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:07,200
This was her dog.
211
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,440
She's really depressed, and if I take it
back to her, it'll cheer her up.
212
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:15,460
I get it. My mom was real depressed when
she stabbed my dad, and he just
213
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:16,460
wouldn't die.
214
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:21,460
Yeah, thanks, man. I'm glad you get
this.
215
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,230
So it'll be $500 for the dog.
216
00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:26,590
Well, I'll give you $100.
217
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,390
Hey, this is about your mom's happiness.
218
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,870
Think about how much that's worth to
you. $40.
219
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:34,970
How about $200 and I'll let you walk out
of the yard with your teeth?
220
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:36,930
Oh, it's like that.
221
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:39,730
Deal.
222
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:49,790
Did you find your dog?
223
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:51,030
Yep.
224
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,580
I've got him tied up in the living room
right now.
225
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,200
Hey, Mom.
226
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,880
Got a furry little friend in there
that's going to cheer you up.
227
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,840
How is the Greek guy from the gas
station going to cheer me up?
228
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,740
Oh, we found McCloud.
229
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,880
Don't mess with me. I'm not in the mood.
I'm serious.
230
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,800
We found him at a biker's house down the
street.
231
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:15,640
McCloud's alive?
232
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,980
And he's in the living room right now.
233
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,389
dog inside?
234
00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:24,550
Yeah, we tied him to the banister.
What's the matter? Isn't he out trained?
235
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:27,950
He gets a little squirrely when he's
cooped up.
236
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,370
Banister looks okay.
237
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,640
the dog is.
238
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:28,010
employees hearing about how I got chased
out of my house by a dog.
239
00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:32,010
You know, since you've been gone, I've
been getting some respect around there.
240
00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,090
Well, that ends tomorrow.
241
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,390
Because I'm going to go back to work and
I'm going to tell everybody how my
242
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:39,390
little girl
243
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,740
We can make this a better Los Angeles.
244
00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:13,080
Wow, you really do that.
245
00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:20,000
No, but I heard you were impersonating
me and knock it off or we won't pick up
246
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000
your trash again.
247
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,220
Hey, Mayor, before you go, let me ask
you.
248
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,640
How tough would it be to declare like
George Lopez? I don't need much like a
249
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,900
statue in the park like that. Hello.
250
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:38,100
I've got a better idea. Why don't we
concentrate on fixing our school?
251
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,380
and making our streets safer for all of
us.
252
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,180
I can never do nothing in my house.
19529
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.