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Pussy!
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00:00:06,470 --> 00:00:09,630
George, I can't believe you're letting
Max watch this movie.
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00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:11,110
It's completely inappropriate.
4
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,490
No, I'm teaching him a life lesson.
5
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:18,610
You see, son, it doesn't matter how much
you love a woman.
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00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:22,290
When an alien lays eggs in her body, you
gotta cut her head off.
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00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:28,970
George, don't fill his head full of that
junk. Turn on the news.
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00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,260
The family dog that dug up the charred,
headless corpse.
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In local news, another fire damaged an
apartment. Wait a minute.
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00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:43,140
I know him. That's Spencer Vogel.
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00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:47,800
Who? A boy I dated in Miami right before
I moved to L .A.
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My first real love.
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00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,340
Really? What happened?
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I dumped him.
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You dumped him, but you kept this?
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What's so special about him?
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You put some lights in here, put me in
makeup.
18
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:09,670
Welcome back to Live Room News. I'm
Jorge Lopez.
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00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:12,630
Tonight's top story.
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Angie sees another old boyfriend who is
now clearly gay.
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I'll bet that anchor guy makes a lot of
money, Dad.
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Yeah, but he spends it all on faith,
Liv.
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It looks like every story surprises him.
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We'll be right back with sports.
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get to kiss them? He's got those big,
full lips.
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Yeah, they're full all right.
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They're full of fat they suck from his
ass.
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I just want to thank the Action 8 news
team for welcoming me into their family.
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And you folks for welcoming me into your
home.
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Good night, L .A.
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What a jerk.
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George, that's so sweet.
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You're jealous.
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Why should I be jealous?
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I won.
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He might have pumped the tires, but I'm
riding the bike.
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if the bike makes a call and
congratulates Spencer on his success.
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Go ahead, call him. I will.
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I don't care.
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Because I know who I am inside.
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I'm self -centered and secure.
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you something, George. Harness racing is
fixed, okay? Just leave it at that.
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Hi, is this Channel 8? I'm calling for
Spencer Vogel.
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This is Angie Palmero. He'll remember
me.
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Palmero? He doesn't know me as Angie
Lopez.
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He doesn't even know you exist. Excuse
me.
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Spencer Vogel? The new man candy on
Channel 8?
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How does Angie know him?
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00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,240
He's from Miami. They used to date in
high school.
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She dumped him for me.
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And I thought I couldn't pick a horse.
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Hey, that was fast.
53
00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:05,950
Well, he couldn't talk, but he was so
excited to hear from me. We're going to
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00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:06,950
lunch tomorrow.
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00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:09,350
That'll be fun, huh? Lunch with the
anchorman?
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00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,600
In breaking news, our waitress just
informed us our salads will be right up.
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00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:21,120
George, are you okay with this? Because
if it's going to bother you, I don't
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have to have lunch with Spencer.
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Angie, please, come on, I'm fine. Go
ahead. Okay.
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And now a word from the devil.
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Don't worry, George.
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She is not going to leave you for this
guy.
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I know that.
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She's just going to meet him in a hotel.
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And she will look back on it as the one
time in her life when she really felt
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like a woman.
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00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:51,730
Hey, hey, hey.
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I make my wife feel like a woman every
Friday night.
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Unless she's got an avocado mask.
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00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:06,230
Then every time I see her, I get so
hungry, I want to dip a chip on her
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00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:11,520
Just don't say I didn't warn you.
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00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:15,240
Mom, just because my father cheated on
you doesn't mean that everyone cheats.
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00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,460
Oh, you're right.
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What do I know about people? You know
what? Maybe your father didn't even
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00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:23,979
on me.
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00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:28,680
You know, maybe that truckload of
panties really did tip over on the
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Angie's not going to risk losing me.
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00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:43,290
Our marriage is solid.
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It's built on love and trust.
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00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:50,550
And that equity loan on the house that's
in her name could, like, convince her
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we're a team.
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00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:53,670
George.
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00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:57,370
I'm just saying, crap happens, okay?
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And you might want to get yourself a
lawyer. Mom. And a good one. You know,
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that little bulldog that saved Kobe's
nuggets.
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Get a little higher.
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Like that.
88
00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:45,640
Oh, hey, George.
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00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,880
Call the police, man. There's a
supermodel trying to steal Angie's
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00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:52,160
Thank you, Ernie.
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00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,670
Hey, that's what you wore to lunch with
Spencer?
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What are you, shooting a tool calendar
after dessert?
93
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:06,690
Come on, he's taking me to that new
place, Onyx. I want to look good.
94
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:09,610
How come you don't wear that kind of
stuff when I take you to lunch?
95
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:13,650
Well, okay, I will, as long as you lean
back and let the kid working the drive
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00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,650
-thru see me, too.
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00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:17,650
Hey, Angie, Angie.
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Ask Spencer if he can get me an
autograph from that new weather girl,
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Fujimoto.
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00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:28,610
Ma 'am, my three -day forecast for her
is hot, hot, hot.
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00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:34,390
And then the cold shower is cooling down
my downtown area.
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00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:41,450
Oh, don't forget I'm meeting some
clients for a wedding rehearsal right
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00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:42,550
lunch, but I'll see you at dinner.
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00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:44,350
Oh, have fun.
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What do you mean have fun? Whose side
are you on?
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I'm not taking sides. I'm just having
lunch with the guy.
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Golly.
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You know what?
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Let's see how she feels when I go with
one of my exes.
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00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:01,140
What are you doing?
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00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,240
In the yearbook.
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I remember a few girls who signed it who
still might want to grab a seat on the
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G train.
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00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:13,500
Wish I could have known you better.
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Wish I could have known you better.
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Who are you?
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Hey, dude, thanks for letting me hide
behind your big head in math.
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Here we go.
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00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:32,090
Remember Cindy Coronado? Oh, she was
super hot.
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Check out what she wrote.
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00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:35,710
George, you rock.
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00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:41,030
You rock harder than Eddie Van Halen and
David Lee Roth put together.
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I'm sorry I never went out with you.
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I'll regret it the rest of my life.
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00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,540
Yeah, well, that's cool and everything,
but isn't that your handwriting?
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It's a little squiggly like that.
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00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:04,080
Yeah, right. I suppose I put my mom's
lipstick on and kissed the page, too.
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00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:06,740
Hey, wait a minute.
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00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,920
Why do you need to make Angie jealous
anyway?
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00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:16,440
If you were the biggest loser in the
world back then and you got her, what
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00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,440
you worried about now?
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Yeah, you're right.
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I'm better now than I ever was.
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00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:26,640
Spencer needs three hours in makeup. I
wake up and I'm like this.
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00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,300
I'm glad you're here.
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00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,920
I was sorely ambitious with my bike
route and I need a ride home.
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Gentlemen, I have destroyed my scrotum.
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00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:54,970
Well, talk to my mom, Vic. I'm sure
she's got an extra pair laying around
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00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:55,970
somewhere.
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00:09:57,210 --> 00:10:00,750
Hey, man, what do you remember about
Angie's old boyfriend, Spencer Vogel?
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Is he still talking about him?
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00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,510
He was a loser going nowhere.
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00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:09,090
I will never understand why she was so
devastated when he broke up with her.
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00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,290
Wait a minute.
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00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,000
I thought she broke up with him. Oh, no.
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00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,320
She was wild for him.
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00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:22,400
She cried and cried, but I told her that
the attraction was just physical and
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the looks were meaningless.
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Evidently, the lesson sunk in.
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00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,480
She lied to me.
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00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:40,960
George, that was 20 years ago. What
difference does it make who dumped who?
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00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,600
Because if he dumped her, she could
still have a thing for him. He's the one
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00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,600
that got away.
154
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,240
Oh, man, that's why she went out with
me.
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She dropped the level so she'd never get
dumped again.
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00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,600
Now what are you doing? I'm going to the
restaurant.
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00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:54,860
George, that's crazy.
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00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:59,060
Look, Angie is the most important thing
in my life. And I'm not going to let
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00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,780
some rich, good -looking dude make a
move on her.
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00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:03,500
God, I drove her to this.
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00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:07,320
You know, last night she was wearing the
avocado mask and rollers.
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00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,340
And she had a little leg stubble.
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I should have just pictured Salma Hayek
and went for it.
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00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:16,940
George,
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00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:23,820
George, calm down.
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00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,380
Calm down. You're too upset.
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00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,780
You're going to go in there and you're
going to make a fool out of yourself.
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00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,440
Look, Angie's in there and I got to stop
him before it's too late. It's a
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00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,220
restaurant. What could they be doing?
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00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,270
of our finest wine. As you wish, sir.
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00:11:51,490 --> 00:11:53,110
I'm going in there. Can I help you?
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00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:56,510
Yeah, I'm with the Vogel party.
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00:11:58,610 --> 00:12:00,650
I don't have any Vogel party here.
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00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,570
Oh, try Palmaro.
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00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,530
I don't have them either.
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00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,590
That's impossible, man. She's got to be
in there.
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00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:11,570
I'm sorry. You know, my friend, he just
needs to talk to his wife.
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00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,650
Yeah, they're working through some
stuff.
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00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:15,210
I'm sure he'll be right back.
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00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,200
I tried some sushi once.
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00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,400
Yeah. I was sick for four days, but, you
know, I'm not blaming you.
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00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,060
So what's the deal with the no -shoe
thing?
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00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,160
She's not in there.
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00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,460
She lied to me again.
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00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:50,480
Where did she go with Vogel?
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00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,060
My mom's right.
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00:12:53,260 --> 00:12:54,260
She's cheating on me.
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00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,180
broken, too.
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00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,020
I get up about 11.
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00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,460
What say you, me, and your buddy jump in
a car? We go to Vegas.
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00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,040
Get some party girls and turn this whole
thing around.
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00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,960
Yeah, I'm in.
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00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:17,080
Find a ride home, Ernie. I'm gonna go
look for my wife.
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00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,580
So we can still go to Vegas?
195
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,280
I just have to call my mom and let her
know I won't be home.
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00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:28,230
You know what? Me too.
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00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:31,990
Okay,
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00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:39,070
when you're walking down the aisle,
remember to smile. This is your
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00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:42,370
wedding day, the beginning of a
beautiful life together.
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00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:48,590
You know, I've been married 18 happy
years, and each day is better than the
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00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:49,590
last.
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00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:51,370
I know you're sleeping with the
anchorman.
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00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:55,810
This will just take a second.
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00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,300
Lost your mind?
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00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,500
I'm working here.
206
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:03,380
Look, you have been lying to me. I know
you didn't dump Spencer. Spencer dumped
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00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:07,300
you. Who cares? It was a long time ago.
It doesn't matter now. And it certainly
208
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,040
doesn't mean that I was sleeping with
him.
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00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:10,480
Then what about today's lie?
210
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,160
I've been looking for you for two hours,
Angie. What have you been doing with
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00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,780
Spencer? Because you didn't have lunch
with him.
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00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,880
What happened?
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00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,580
What's bad? Heart beating faster?
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00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:19,860
Starting to sweat?
215
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,880
Beating little eyes looking all over the
room.
216
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,480
The answer's not over there. Look over
here, liar.
217
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,820
There's nothing going on between me and
Spencer. And I can explain it at home,
218
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:30,840
when I'm not working.
219
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:33,840
No, I want to know now. This is not the
time or the place to discuss this.
220
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,160
Angie!
221
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,920
Sorry. Now, where were we, hmm?
222
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:58,270
I called yesterday. He didn't even want
to have lunch. He told me to get over
223
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:00,710
it. I was humiliated. Are you happy?
224
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:10,650
Angie, I don't think this is the time or
place to air our dirty laundry.
225
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:14,390
Marriage. Hey, got a lot to look forward
to. Peaks and valleys.
226
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,210
Love you.
227
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:09,320
I know I acted like an idiot, but I
wouldn't have gone down there if you
228
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,480
lie to me in the first place.
229
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,740
George, how could I possibly tell you
the truth?
230
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:19,220
How could I tell you that he dumped me
and he never wanted to see me again?
231
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,520
You put me on this pedestal like I'm
some kind of goddess.
232
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:29,580
And I always wanted you to believe that
you won the prize. That caught me on the
233
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:30,580
rebound from Spencer.
234
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,100
I did this for you, George.
235
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:41,850
Oh, so close!
236
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:48,410
I bet the only reason you called him in
the first place was to make me jealous.
237
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:51,470
No. I wanted to know why the hell he
dumped me.
238
00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:55,230
No one's ever dumped Angie Palmaro. I'm
a prize, damn it!
239
00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:00,530
Look, I know that. Angie, why do you
think I got so freaked out when I
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00:17:00,530 --> 00:17:01,530
might lose you?
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00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:05,609
Look, everything good in my life is
because of you.
242
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,540
You've never said that before.
243
00:17:12,619 --> 00:17:14,700
Well, I'm never going to say it again,
so I hope you enjoy it.
244
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,599
Spencer Vogel is not half the man you
are.
245
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,220
Why are we still talking about Spencer
Vogel?
246
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,540
Look, it's a long story, and it makes
Angie look bad, so I'm going to tell it
247
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,540
anyway.
248
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,720
She saw Spencer on TV and called him up
to have lunch.
249
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,480
What? He cannot do that.
250
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,440
He cannot break the contract.
251
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,060
What contract?
252
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:53,840
What contract? Daddy.
253
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,120
It's water under the bridge.
254
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,320
Forget it.
255
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:01,620
I will call Spencer right now.
256
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,600
He probably won't take the call.
257
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:13,410
What does it matter? It's a small thing,
really. I paid him $10
258
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:16,190
,000 to break it off with you and never
see you again.
259
00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:18,990
What?
260
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:21,550
You paid him to get out of my life?
261
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,910
How dare you?
262
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,010
Yeah, how dare you?
263
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:29,950
Hey, man, you hated my guts, so you
never offered me a dime.
264
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:40,680
on your Def Leppard T -shirt, struggling
to read a comic book, and I thought,
265
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,540
well, he'll destroy himself.
266
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,040
This changes everything.
267
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:54,640
No, it doesn't, Angie. I mean, if your
dad hadn't have paid Spencer off, we
268
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:55,640
never would have met.
269
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,860
This means that we were meant to be
together.
270
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:00,140
Not that.
271
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,620
It means I've never been dumped.
272
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,320
I did the right thing.
273
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,420
He was a loser.
274
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:27,800
So, George, what would you have done if
I had offered you $10 ,000
275
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,540
to never see Angie again?
276
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:37,900
Look, I can't believe you're saying
this.
277
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,300
I mean, this offends me.
278
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,240
And $200 ,000 small?
279
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:48,150
Non -sequential ways.
280
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,670
Under the lemon tree.
281
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,530
Tomorrow morning.
282
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,050
You won't be contacted again.
283
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:12,610
Face it. Deep down, all men are
cheaters.
284
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,780
more insulting if you hadn't just pulled
an ace out of your sleeve.
285
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,560
Benny, that's not true.
286
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,900
I was completely faithful.
287
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:27,120
It was my wife who cheated on me. Well,
that's just because she was the man in
288
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:28,120
the relationship.
289
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:32,580
That hurts coming from another man.
290
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,820
Hey, you know, I'll be honest. I've been
tempted to cheat before.
291
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:41,320
Dude, flipping the magazine from one
bride to another is not cheating.
292
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:47,110
I'd never cheat on Angie. I mean, I know
how good I got it.
293
00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:55,090
Guys, it's getting late. You should wrap
it up. Come on.
294
00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:57,170
Hey, where are you guys going?
295
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,090
Hi.
296
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:01,570
Hi, baby.
297
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:03,530
So,
298
00:21:03,690 --> 00:21:07,030
it's Friday night.
299
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,310
You ready to come to bed?
300
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,790
I'll be right there, baby.
23844
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