All language subtitles for george_lopez_s04e18_watchas_out_for

George, that wasn't funny. And it wasn't
funny when I was on the toilet last

night either.

Hey, maybe that'll teach you to close
the door from now on.

Hey,

I did it to Ernie the whole game. It
didn't bother him.

Just let me know when you're going to do
it.

All right.

Ernie, I think you hurt your ears.

Okay.

You need beers.

So, Mom, you missed an awesome game.

Jason smacked two home runs and pitched
a no -hitter.

I love him. Oh, I love him more. Oh,

yeah. I appreciate the support, Mr.
Lopez, but when I struck out that guy in

last inning and the team piled on top of
me, yeah, that's really just for the

players.

Well, your parents weren't there, man.
Somebody's got to show you some love.

Dad, I won second place in the
science... fair. Shh, I'm talking to

what kind of heat were you throwing? 90
miles an hour because you were like that

with your halloo. George, your son, Max,
came in second at the science fair.

Oh, hey, I'm just messing with you, Max.
What was your project?

I predicted what the next step in man's
evolution would be.

Homo avianus.

We grow wings.

What was in first place, boiling water?

Well, I'm proud of you, son, so...

When do we get these wings? Because I'm
ready right now.

In a thousand years, when everything's
underwater except really tall fruit

trees, mankind's going to need wings to
get the food.

Why don't we just use both?

Yeah, I got the trophy. I ain't giving
it back.

We should go out tonight and celebrate.

You're right. Mac, while you're in
there, put on some good pants. We're

Jason out in honor of his big day.

for you to celebrate that flying homo
thing.

Actually, Mr. Lopez, my parents felt bad
about not being at the game, so they're

making dinner for me and Carmen.

Oh, well, oh, hey, how crazy would it be
for them to set two more places for me

and Mrs. Lopez?

Pretty crazy.

I know you're really excited about
Jason's baseball career, but you have a

who just won at the science fair.

I'm proud of Imagine, but it's hard to
get excited about science. I mean,

there's no fans, there's no stats,
there's no Hall of Fame for their

moments. They're called museums, George.

That place we walked to the giant human
heart?

There's a Saturday I want back.

This is the aorta. Wow.

Let's find this guy's rectum and get the
hell out of here.

this is about.

You're going to Jason's games and
cheering him on because your mom never

that for you when you were a kid.

That's got nothing to do with that.
Everything with you has to have deep

meaning. I go to his games and I pretend
he's my kid sometimes I pretend I'm

him. Don't make it complicated.

Well, maybe you should show some of that
interest in what your kids are doing.

Do you even know your daughter set up
her own website?

Oh, no. She's got a little cameras in
her room.

Poetry, George? Yeah, maybe to the
perverts on the Internet it's poetry.

But to me it's just strangers watching
my daughter bounce around in her pajamas

for $5 .99.

It's a website of her poetry.

What?

Long poem, long poem.

Desperate cry for help.

Oh, look, a link to Jason.

And just a website for his baseball
team. Listen to what the coach says

him.

Jason's leading the team in ERA and
slugging percentage.

I can't imagine what kind of season we'd
be having if he had moved to

Switzerland with his parents. What?

Jason's parents moved to Switzerland?

That's not possible. He and Carmen have
been having dinner with them every

Friday night for the last month.

Well, they've been lying and they've
been alone at his house all this time.

It's campus, Mac.

Who's your big man on campus?

And he's the second best in science?
Orale, get ready to get lapped by

What are we having for dinner? Chicken.

I'm throwing another load in the washer.
Give me that sweatshirt.

What are

you

guys doing sneaking around Jason's
backyard?

Catching you in a lie!

We know Jason's parents are in
Switzerland.

And we know what you've been doing here
for the last month. Carmen!

You promised us you weren't going to
have sex.

Dad, I was doing Jason's laundry.

When we go home, we're going to go to
teenslang .com and find out what the

this term doing laundry means.

How would you guys stop freaking out?
I'm actually doing his laundry. Yeah, I

swear we haven't done anything wrong.

Then why did you lie?

Well, because I knew you guys would
freak out if you found out Jason's

were out of town.

Well, what kind of parents just leave
their kid alone in a house and then go

to live in another country? That can't
be legal.

No, it's not. It's called abandonment.

At least that's what the cops said when
he dragged my mom back from Tijuana.

And made her untie me from the lemon
tree. I went like that.

Dad, his parents didn't abandon him.
They're just letting him stay here to

finish up the baseball season.

Yeah, but do his parents know that he's
shacking up with my daughter?

You know what? Maybe I should call him
and tell him.

No, no, no, I'm not supposed to have
anyone over. Please, Mr. Lopez, don't

them. Don't make me leave.

Mr. Lopez, this is a really big shot for
me.

I mean, scouts are coming. I could even
get drafted next year.

Oh, my chicken's done.

Oil up, my chicken's done.

Hey!

You mean you're cooking and doing
laundry? How come you don't do that at

house? Can you believe this, Angie?

I've never seen this much granite.

I deserve this kitchen.

We need more money.

Look, Jason's all alone here. He needs
me to take care of him. Look, he's not a

baby, Carmen. Let him do it himself.

But I cook and clean for you.

That's different. You enjoy it, and it
relaxes you.

Come on, Carmen. We're leaving. What?
I'm not leaving. Yes, we are. And you

what? Because you lied to us, you can
only see Jason at our house when we're

home. What?

That's what you get for lying.

And don't try to sneak over here because
I'll find you. I don't care what kind

of security this rich neighborhood has.
I'll get in.

Wait a minute.

There's a guard gate. How did you get
in? How did I get in? Like this? What's

up? Pizza?

Pizza for your family?

Your life time shit?

Who's Carmen?

She's at the library.

Yeah?

How do you know she didn't sneak over to
Jason's house?

Because she sent me a picture of herself
from the library on her cell phone.

Man, I wish they had these when I was a
kid.

Mom, I would have sent a picture to the
social services of you hitting me.

Oh, come on. If you couldn't hang on to
your sippy cup when I smacked you, what

makes you think you could have held on
to a phone?

She didn't teach a mouse to roll over
and play dead.

She just put tequila in its water
bottle.

First place?

We should celebrate, right, George?

Uh, yeah. You know, Max, I don't say
this enough, but I'm really proud of

son, all right? So why don't you go
upstairs and put on a nice shirt? We're

going to take you out to dinner anywhere
you want. Tonight's all about you.

Yeah.

Carmen, honey, slow down.

What happened?

Okay, we'll be right down.

What is it?

Carmen and Jason just got arrested.

What? I thought you said she was at the
library.

She lied to us. There was a party at
Jason's house and somebody brought

Let me see the camera phone.

Hey, what's that for? I'm going to show
her what a hard life of partying does.

Let me see your ankles. Get out.

I've already been booked to spend
downtown for felicity. I knew it.

This is all your fault, Angie. I told
you songs lead to prostitution.

I'm sure it's a different Carmen Lopez.
Our daughter was at a party you guys

broke up. Okay, give me a minute.

You did, Angie.

Calm down. I'm not going to calm down.
I'm not joking this time. I'm going to

kill her.

He doesn't mean it, officer. He's a law
-abiding man. In fact, whenever there's

a beating on the news, he always cheers
for your side.

That's right, man. I'm always happy when
the fat cop shows up and he's all tired

because he had to hop the fence.

Man, that guy swings the wave.

Thank you, officer.

Drugs, Carmen? No, Dad, I can explain. I
didn't do any drugs.

Let me guess. You were at the party and
the drugs just happened to show up.

Yes. Is that you talking or the monkey
on your back?

How many colors do you see, huh, junkie?

Do it.

Stop it.

Do it. Stop it.

Carmen, what really happened? Well, a
bunch of guys from another school came

crashed the party and started smoking
pot, and then the cops came, and no one

would admit the drugs were there, so
they brought us all in for questioning.

Okay, sweetheart, you should have said
that. Now I believe you.

Hurt, don't it, junkie?

Do it.

Angie, our pupils are huge.

She has dark... That's the way they
always look.

Really? They're not green?

Look, I believe Carmen. If it wasn't
true, they wouldn't be letting her go.

Yeah, well, she lied to us and went over
to Jason's again.

You know what? Maybe they shouldn't let
her go.

Maybe we should leave her in jail. That
way we know she's not having sex or

doing drugs.

Sorry.

If you sign here, we can release you
into your custody.

Excuse me?

McNamara gonna be released? He's not.
He's a minor and his parents are out of

the country. We have no one to release
him to.

Jason can't spend the night in jail?

I spend the night in jail once nothing
happened to me. It's not the same, Dad.

Jason's pretty.

Dad, you have to do something.

Oh, can my parents sign for him? We're
friends of the family.

Yes, but legally he'd be their
responsibility until he can be turned

parents. You know what? Let him stay in
jail. That'll teach him a lesson for

lying to us and getting our daughter
arrested. Come on, Angie, let's go.

What's going to happen to him?

Well, if there's no one to release him
to, he'll probably end up in a group

home. Dad, a group home! A group home?
Come on, it sounds like fun.

Bung beds, sing -alongs, drive -bys are
bad.

Come on, making a quilt with the names
of your fallen homies? Give me a sequin

so I can put a teardrop on Spider.

If something happens to Jason, we'll
never forgive ourselves.

Let's just take him home tonight and we
will call his parents. Please, Dad.

All right, I'll sign.

Hey, my mom got arrested by an Officer
Miller. Is he here because he

frisked her or something and she wanted
me to get his phone number?

Give me your parents' phone number.

And you, I'll deal with your punishment
later.

You ever been tied to a lemon tree?

This is where you can reach him in
Switzerland.

I'll call him.

So, how was dinner?

Mine was great.

Grandma passed on the couch and I had a
can of frosting.

Max, we didn't go to dinner. While you
were changing your shirt, the police

called and we had to pick up Carmen and
Jason.

No way.

You got arrested?

What'd you do?

Actually, Governor Schwarzenegger just
passed a new law.

It's now a crime in the state of
California to lie to your parents.

Is there anything you want to tell me,
Max?

Max?

I've been drinking Carmen's clothes in
the dryer so she thinks she's fat.

That's horrible.

Go to your room, bad boy.

Jason, your dad wants to talk to you.

What'd they say?

They're not coming back.

And they don't trust him to stay alone
anymore.

They're going to wire us money so we can
send him to Switzerland.

No, Jason can't leave. I'll never see
him again.

Hey, if they send him money for first
class, we'll send him back coach, would

you? I know, Dad.

Look, I'm sorry.

But if I leave, the Scouts won't see me
play.

I might not get this chance again,
please.

All right.

Jason's whole life shouldn't be ruined
because of one stupid party.

Why can't he stay with us until the
season's over?

You know, that's a great idea.

You guys can sleep in the same bed.

And I can get you one of those special
lights that can grow pot in the closet.

You said the same thing when NSYNC broke
up, but look, you're fine.

And so are Justin, Lance, Joey, Chris,
and JC.

Whatever their names are.

Let me talk to your dad for a minute.

Come on, Angie, don't even start,
please.

It would only be until baseball season's
over.

I'm not going to have my 60 -year -old
daughter and her boyfriend living under

the same roof.

George, keep in mind, he's going to be
exposed to sides of Carmen he's never

seen. Cranky Carmen, moody Carmen,
morning breath Carmen.

Hi.

You don't know what it's like to be a
teenage boy with raging hormones.

When I was a freshman in high school, we
had this girl, a foreign exchange

student, her name was Flexpa.

Didn't shave.

Didn't wash. She had a mole the size of
a quarter on her forehead. It looked

like a bumblebee landed like that.

And one day in the hall, she passed me
and she flashed this big cheesy yellow

smile and I thought to myself, You were
a pig back

then. You're missing the point, Angie.
She was the pig. I was a normal teenage

boy. He's not staying here.

George, wait.

You didn't talk to his dad.

He said, I guess we'll have to take him
back.

Like he didn't even care about Jason.

But you know what, Angie? That's not our
problem.

You know what Carmen told me? That even
when his parents did live here, they

never went to any of his games.

They're not involved in his life. It's
like he's raising himself.

Does that sound familiar?

What? Hey, how the hell can you compare
my childhood to this rich kid's? He's

had everything handed to him. You saw
his house?

They got a statue of a naked boy peeing
in the pool.

That's money, Angie. That's classy like
that. Hello.

Well, it may be a bigger house, but he's
still alone in it.

Yeah.

Can he stay?

I'm going to go inside.

But, Dad. I don't want to hear it. Go
inside.

I don't want you living in the same
house as my daughter.

I understand.

God, I can't believe I screwed
everything up.

There goes my dream of ever playing in
the majors.

You know, when I was your age, I used to
dream about playing pro baseball.

It's different, Mr. Lopez. I'm actually
good.

I was good, too.

One time, bottom of the ninth inning,
bases loaded.

I drove in the winning run. They even
carried me off the field.

You hit a grand slam?

No, I leaned into a pitch and took one
in the head.

Got my first kiss that day.

The paramedic said it was just CPR.

But she didn't fight the tongue, I don't
like that.

Well, it doesn't matter now anyway.

Baseball's over for me.

I'm going to go hang out with Carmen
while I still can.

Tell you what.

I'll make you a deal.

You stay for the rest of baseball season
if you can knock a can off the fence.

Are you serious?

Yep. Or even call your parents in
Switzerland and tell them you're

you got to do is knock off that can.

Okay, I thought.

Yodel -odel -ay -hee -hoo.

Look, I'm going to let you stay here so
you can work on your control.

Thanks,

Mr. Lopez.

I promise I will not screw this up.

I'm going to go tell Carmen.

Yes.

Carmen.

Yeah, but I'm good.

Angie,

Jason broke your window!

I'm so glad your dad's letting me stay
here.

I know, it's gonna be great.

When I go to bed, you'll be here.

When I wake up, you'll be here.

Maybe I'll come down for a midnight
snack and you'll be here.

Carmen, I promised your dad I'd be on my
best behavior.

Is he here?

Well, no.

No?