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1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,320
George, do you have anything for the
charity box?
2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,319
Oh, here.
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,000
I cleaned out my closet. Take it easy.
4
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:11,620
This?
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,940
This is what you're giving to the needy
at Christmas?
6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,280
The thing that stamps your name on golf
balls?
7
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:21,380
I've been slicing the ball too much,
Angie.
8
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,940
I'm tired of guys coming in from the
parking lot with bloody foreheads
9
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,000
Are you George Lopez?
10
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:31,030
I gotta pretend I'm like that. No, I
can't talk right now, please.
11
00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:37,490
Here, this is all the stuff I don't want
anymore.
12
00:00:38,510 --> 00:00:40,910
Why are you giving these away? Half of
them aren't even open.
13
00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,810
Because I need room in my closet for all
my new Christmas stuff.
14
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:48,390
Oh, here's a list of what I want this
year.
15
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:49,630
A list?
16
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:52,730
A paintball gun?
17
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,410
A poster of Dave Miro? Who's that?
18
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:56,990
Dave Miro?
19
00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,100
BMX games.
20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,280
Oh, right.
21
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,980
He's one of those grown men on a little
bike. He let that one check.
22
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,640
Okay, back to the list.
23
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,240
A new bike.
24
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,720
Seven video games. An MP3 player.
25
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,960
A monkey.
26
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,700
Small, hairy animal.
27
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,320
Disposable thumb.
28
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:27,810
I know what a monkey is.
29
00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:31,250
That's just one more thing you're going
to get tired of. I'm not going to be
30
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,810
down here next year dropping a dead
monkey in a box for charity.
31
00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:39,710
No, if you got me a monkey, I'd use it.
He could take out the trash from me,
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00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:40,770
make my bed.
33
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,550
He could brush my teeth while I play
video games. Watch out, I'll be like
34
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:53,490
Yeah, maybe he could go to school for
you, too. You might actually get a B
35
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:54,490
year.
36
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,340
I have a question about the list you
gave me, Matt.
37
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:05,220
He gave you a Christmas list, too? A
week ago.
38
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,400
But I can't find this monkey cage game.
39
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:15,020
It's not a game, Daddy. It's an actual
cage. He asked us for a monkey.
40
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:19,780
Hmm. That explains why he wants diapers
on a tiny accordion.
41
00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:22,480
God, I hope so.
42
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:26,930
as greedy as Max.
43
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:29,810
I just want some nice outfits from real
clothing stores.
44
00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:31,769
Here's a hint.
45
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:35,950
If you're pushing a shopping cart and
Dad's eating a corn dog, you're in the
46
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,950
wrong place.
47
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,490
Don't be such a princess.
48
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:46,350
When your dad was a kid, he wore clothes
from the county corner's thrift shop
49
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:47,370
and he never complained.
50
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:01,490
You can't take it with you.
51
00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:04,450
Who's going to bury their kid in shorts?
52
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:10,750
Oh, that reminds me. Dad, I saw this
hand -painted short -sleeved dress from
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00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:14,030
this really cute boutique. It's on sale
for $300. You have to get it for me.
54
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,390
What? Are you crazy? $300 for a hand
-painted dress?
55
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,070
Carmen, I was walking around in haunted
pants.
56
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:23,410
You know what? We spoiled you kids too
much, and it's going to stop this
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00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:27,190
Christmas. You know what we're going to
do? Each of you guys is going to get one
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00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:28,230
gift. No!
59
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,680
Isn't that kind of severe, George? No,
Angie, you know what? They need to learn
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00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,720
to appreciate what they have.
61
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:39,120
Look at all this perfectly good stuff
wasted on charity.
62
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,760
An ant colony.
63
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,180
A microscope. When you're poor, you
don't want to see things tiny.
64
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,320
Your father's not wrong.
65
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,120
How about we make it one big thoughtful
gift instead of a lot of gifts? And
66
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,120
we'll make it fun.
67
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770
secret Santa.
68
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:08,730
Okay, everybody, write your name down on
a piece of paper.
69
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:13,310
We'll put it in a hat, and whoever you
get, you have to buy that person a gift.
70
00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:16,490
Here you go, Daddy, Benny.
71
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,149
Well, you're including my mom in this?
72
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,530
She's part of the family, isn't she?
73
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,690
Well, I guess since our big talk about
contradicting you in public, of course
74
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:31,690
she is.
75
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:35,030
Can I talk to you in private?
76
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:43,370
Are you crazy? You know my mom and
Christmas, whoever she gets is screwed.
77
00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:49,150
It's the holidays. We have to include
her.
78
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:52,570
Do you really think your mom would
purposely ruin someone's Christmas?
79
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:53,990
Are you kidding?
80
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,840
You know what I got when I was fixed,
Angie? A comb.
81
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,260
Notice I didn't say a new comb.
82
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,940
George, the only reason I agreed to this
is so the kids understand what
83
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,240
Christmas is really about.
84
00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:15,300
And maybe, by putting faith in your mom,
you might learn something, too.
85
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:18,580
Yeah.
86
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:22,360
Let's see how much faith you have when
you get a dirty, broken comb with dead
87
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,360
kids' hair in it.
88
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:30,260
Everyone's names are in the hat, but you
and Angie. Okay, give me yours, Angie.
89
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:37,100
Okay, everybody pick one. In the spirit
of Christmas, I'd like to say a little
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00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,100
prayer.
91
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:46,320
Dear Lord, please let my rich grandpa
pick me. Carmen!
92
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,880
That's mine.
93
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,640
And the last one is yours, Mom.
94
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,780
Now, how about we all decorate the tree
together? Come on, Mom. Do we have to?
95
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,260
Hey, you heard your mother. Decorating
the tree, that's part of being a family.
96
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,540
You too, George?
97
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500
What did I do?
98
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,460
Vic, Vic, let's switch.
99
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,959
No way.
100
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,900
That jerk son of mine rigged it so I
would get Angie.
101
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:27,820
I swear to God, I'll go to the coroner's
thrift shop. They're a...
102
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,100
of people her size who can't handle
Christmas.
103
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:32,860
Fine, just drink.
104
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,080
Oh, him.
105
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,360
I know how to take care of him.
106
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,440
Hey, aren't you going to come in and
help decorate the tree?
107
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,220
Oh, no, no, no. I gotta go to the
grocery store and get ready for the
108
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,940
I'm almost out of eggs.
109
00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:01,010
I'm a low rider.
110
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:16,430
Hey,
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00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,470
look at your house.
112
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,890
I got an angel I put up there every
year. Where'd it go?
113
00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,050
I'm starting a new tradition.
114
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:28,090
You know, when I first came from Cuba to
America...
115
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,260
We could only afford a tiny little tree.
116
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,720
But we found that angel in a thrift
store.
117
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:43,760
We polished its golden wings and put it
on top of the tree, and behold, my angel
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00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,760
of freedom.
119
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,440
Right.
120
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,180
You know, there's a beautiful story
behind my Jim Plunkett bobblehead angel,
121
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,240
too.
122
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:59,800
Twenty years ago, I filled up my tank
with gas, and they gave me this for
123
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:03,350
That's my America.
124
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:06,610
You don't deserve freedom.
125
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:11,010
You don't appreciate it. Appreciate you
got a dumb Cuban story for everything.
126
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:15,610
I remember the first time I blew my nose
in America.
127
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,790
Behold, my freedom tissues.
128
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:27,330
You're not a cardiologist. I know this
argument is causing stress for my heart.
129
00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:31,550
So I must relieve it by saying estúpido,
estúpido, estúpido.
130
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,980
Hey, Max, you want to watch some TV?
131
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,519
No, thanks.
132
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,380
Come on, man, we haven't seen The Grinch
this year.
133
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:55,140
I don't need to watch it. I'm living it.
134
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,620
You don't need a pile of presents under
the tree to have a good Christmas, Max.
135
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,000
It's not even going to feel like
Christmas.
136
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,100
It'll be over in, like, five minutes.
137
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,340
I'm going to miss everyone opening their
gifts, and Mom says, save the bows, and
138
00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:12,260
you put them on your butt, and you say,
unwrap this.
139
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,360
No, it's funny.
140
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:19,520
Before you kids were born, your mom
would unwrap it. We'd be like that.
141
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:22,540
And
142
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:29,520
now
143
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,500
she just says, hey, you're wasting all
the good bowls.
144
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:37,800
Look, I know this is hard on you, but
maybe next time you get more than one
145
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,820
gift, you'll appreciate it.
146
00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:41,220
Yeah.
147
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,839
That's good.
148
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,320
Hey, so who did you get in Secret Santa?
149
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,680
You.
150
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,820
I got you something good because now I
know how bad your Christmases must have
151
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,820
been when you were a kid.
152
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,320
Angie, quick.
153
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:56,720
Are you Max the Secret Santa?
154
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,420
Well, I... Oh, nice try.
155
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,880
But you're not going to trick me into
helping you figure out who got you.
156
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,360
Look, it's not about that.
157
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,900
Max is down. I just want to make sure
his one gift is something special.
158
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,180
Oh. Well, then I have to tell you.
159
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,220
Lame!
160
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,530
Angie, I went too far, and I'm worried
this Christmas is going to be ruined.
161
00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:23,290
Well, in that case, the answer is lame.
162
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:27,690
Just tell me who got Max.
163
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,110
I got him.
164
00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:32,150
Wait a minute. That's impossible. I
rigged it so you'd get Angie.
165
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:37,750
You tried to rig it, but I traded with
Vic.
166
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:41,630
What do you mean you rigged it?
167
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:45,010
Well, I didn't want to get a crappy gift
and you're the one who wanted to
168
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:46,010
include my mom.
169
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,790
I thought you deserved to be punished.
170
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:56,750
You wanted to punish me on Christmas?
171
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:03,470
Okay, maybe punish isn't the right word.
I wanted to... I wanted to teach you a
172
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:04,470
holiday lesson.
173
00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,710
Who says I give crappy gifts?
174
00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:11,430
You're right.
175
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:15,270
I really enjoyed the one year the school
said I couldn't come back until I got
176
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:18,910
my vaccinations, and you said, all
right, George, get them, but that's your
177
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:19,910
Christmas present.
178
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,430
What did you get Max?
179
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:26,510
Look, I took care of it. Max will be
fine.
180
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:30,870
Look, Mom, Max is only getting one gift
this year, and last year you got him a
181
00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:32,550
three -pack of irregular T -shirts.
182
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:35,970
Did he wear them?
183
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,490
One.
184
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,830
But the armhole was so close to the
neck.
185
00:11:41,829 --> 00:11:43,810
Teacher thought he was asking questions
all day.
186
00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:47,890
Look, you're just going to have to trust
me.
187
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,230
Angie did.
188
00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:52,890
That's why she included me in the secret
Santa.
189
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,930
Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, all
right? I shouldn't have insulted you.
190
00:11:57,570 --> 00:12:00,470
I'm sure you got something nice for Max.
Too slow!
191
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:06,590
No wonder you always came home crying
because they picked you last in gym.
192
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,590
Give it up, Mom!
193
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,350
What is your problem?
194
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,220
First, you're worried you're spoiling
your kid. Then you're worried they're
195
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,300
getting enough. They should be happy
with everything they get.
196
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,620
You know, when I was a kid, I got a
black eye for Christmas, and I said,
197
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:22,620
you.
198
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,620
Okay, you're right. All right, I'm
sorry.
199
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:30,180
When you put it that way, how can you
not?
200
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,800
The girl with the one short leg got
picked before me in kickball.
201
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,500
You know that my muscles didn't work
right because all you fed me was
202
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,580
You will see this when Max opens it
tomorrow morning. Screw you!
203
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,740
What's all the yelling about?
204
00:12:57,020 --> 00:13:02,900
We weren't yelling. We were... We were
reenacting the famous Christmas argument
205
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,180
between Joseph and the three wise men.
206
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,740
Who gives frankincense to a baby?
207
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,820
He's just going to put it in his mouth.
208
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,440
Screw you!
209
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,400
Honey,
210
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,440
thank you so much for letting Daddy put
up his freedom angel.
211
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,520
Of course, baby.
212
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,400
I know what that means to your dad.
213
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,520
I would never make fun of his suffering
in Cuba.
214
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,680
What did you do to Daddy's freedom
nutcracker?
215
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,240
I turned it into Castro.
216
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,980
Tom Bick, see what will happen if you
try to take back my island.
217
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,700
Just give me the nutcracker.
218
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,180
Now I got two of those upstairs.
219
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,520
What? I said Merry Christmas, my love.
220
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,640
Be my elf.
221
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,600
Did you get it? Dude, it was the last
paintball gun they had, wasn't it?
222
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,280
Max is going to love this.
223
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:22,980
What are you doing?
224
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,600
Well, I know my mom's going to get him a
crappy gift, and I want him to have
225
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,460
something nice to open on Christmas
morning.
226
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:32,160
But you're going to show up your mother,
and she's going to be humiliated.
227
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,660
And that's a good way for me to end my
year. Watch out. Hello.
228
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:42,640
No, you can't do this. Then you have to
wait till Benny leaves to let Max open
229
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,640
that gift.
230
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,760
Okay, but how am I going to humiliate
her? George!
231
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,360
Promise me?
232
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,020
All right.
233
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,400
But if I smell a bad gift, ha!
234
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,600
I'm there.
235
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,600
What's Grandma Benny getting here?
236
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:06,620
Oh, she moves a little slow Christmas
morning, Carmen. Last night she was at a
237
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,800
bar doing her traditional 12 shots of
Christmas.
238
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:19,860
Anytime, we should read this letter from
the family in Peru who received our
239
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:20,900
Christmas care package.
240
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,400
Daddy, would you translate?
241
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:23,860
Certainly.
242
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,880
Diego Wright, thank you for the gift.
243
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,160
The ant colony was delicious.
244
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,680
Did they like George's golf ball,
Stamper?
245
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,360
Why, yes.
246
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:45,680
You'll be glad to know that all our
llamas' ears proudly bear the name
247
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,680
Lopez.
248
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,520
So much for your penicillin and rice.
249
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,040
All right, I'm here.
250
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,440
Remember, George.
251
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,620
I'm waiting, I'm waiting.
252
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,800
Mom, why don't you give your gift first?
253
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,800
Does it feel like you'll like it and
shut up?
254
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,940
Okay, change of plans.
255
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,420
Max, why don't you open something from
Santa first?
256
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,480
That's not fair, Dad. He gets two gifts
and I get one? Because he's a boy,
257
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:28,560
quiet.
258
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,240
What the hell are you doing?
259
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:35,060
Cool. This is the one that shoots 18
paintballs a second.
260
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,880
Hello, Peppleton.
261
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,060
You want to make sure that the safety is
on.
262
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,130
My freedom angel.
263
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:55,630
She's hit.
264
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,350
My other present from Grandma.
265
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,190
It's a picture of Dave Mirra.
266
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:12,730
And he autographed a program from the
first X Games.
267
00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:14,329
Where?
268
00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:16,410
Somewhere under the paint.
269
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,500
Okay, now we've got one present again.
Are you happy?
270
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:36,840
Selfish?
271
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800
Okay,
272
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,560
come in.
273
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,640
Come on, Mom. We all want you to come
back to the house for Christmas dinner.
274
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,040
Why do you need me?
275
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:04,630
Don't you have a backup grandma that can
shoot paintballs out of her butt?
276
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,430
All right, look, Mom.
277
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:16,230
In almost 40 years, you never got me or
the kids one good Christmas gift. I
278
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,830
mean, how was I supposed to know this
was the year?
279
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,870
Because I told you that I have it
covered.
280
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:24,270
Do you know how much I dropped on that
thing?
281
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,630
200 bucks.
282
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:31,520
Ruined. That was my whole Christmas
bonus.
283
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:35,520
But you've never done anything like that
before in your whole life. I mean, why
284
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,940
now? The kid was only getting one gift.
I wasn't going to ruin a little boy's
285
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:40,940
Christmas.
286
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,580
Hello?
287
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,320
That was different. I wanted to do it
right this time.
288
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,120
Oh, wait a second.
289
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:57,540
What do you mean, this time?
290
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,910
Are you admitting that you screwed up my
Christmases? No.
291
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,170
Yeah, you are.
292
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,750
And you're trying to make it up to my
kids.
293
00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,690
I think your little Grinch heart grew
today.
294
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,470
Shut up.
295
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,490
Give me a hug, Mom.
296
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:20,710
Watch it!
297
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:25,150
I got a gun under my pillow and it
doesn't shoot paintballs.
298
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,450
All right.
299
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,520
Look, get your coat. Come on, Mom. Let's
go back to the house and have dinner.
300
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,120
I forgot your Christmas present.
301
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,340
Who was my secret Santa?
302
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,200
I was.
303
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,640
What is this crap?
304
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,820
It's your bar tip from Thirsty's, Mom. I
paid it off.
305
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,370
I can drink the good stuff I get.
306
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:10,730
Merry Christmas, Bat.
307
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:21,770
Even with the autograph covered up, this
is still the coolest thing ever.
308
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:23,490
Thanks, Grandma.
309
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:25,370
Come here, you.
310
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,110
Oh, come on.
311
00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:29,470
I love you.
312
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:30,670
I love you, too, Grandma.
313
00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:32,450
She doesn't love you, Max. She hates me.
314
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,750
I'm sorry I ruined your present.
315
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,290
So your grandma and I made a stop on the
way home.
316
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:41,970
Let's just call it a Christmas miracle.
317
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,870
No way! It's Dave Mira!
318
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,450
Merry Christmas. What up, Mac?
319
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,250
Can I have your autograph?
320
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,510
That's what I'm here for.
321
00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:56,910
I want to compete in BMX right after I
get out of college.
322
00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:59,230
That's way too late. You sure you need
to go to college?
323
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:04,070
Check it out, Max. Right now I'm making
bank.
324
00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:07,230
A lot of guys who go to college end up
working in factories or something.
325
00:21:10,590 --> 00:21:12,170
Just sign the paper, bike boy.
326
00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:17,470
So, where are the rest of the orphans?
327
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,590
They're all gone, Dave. You know, they
make good gifts.
25886
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