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1
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Stay cool.
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See ya.
3
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Max, what happened to your eye?
4
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Honey.
5
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Is that makeup?
6
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The boys won't pick on me if they think
I've already been beaten up.
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They like fresh meat.
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If somebody's picking on you, who, Max?
I want a name.
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Hector Clark.
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Bobby Garcia.
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David Chin.
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Richard Goodman. Tim Sullivan.
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Peter Sisko.
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00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:30,510
Proudy Kidwani.
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Honey, I know it's tougher in middle
school, but just try to think of it this
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way. Bullies are just friends who don't
realize how special you are yet.
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What kind of crap are you teaching him?
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No wonder kids of all races are coming
together to beat up on Max.
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Let them make a buff.
20
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,120
At least do both eyes and add a little
lipstick.
21
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,240
I guarantee that there will be a couple
of boys who'll want to be your friend.
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Mom, this family has only room for one
guy in makeup, and that is you. Good
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sir.
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I said good day, sir!
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I just can't understand why anyone would
want to pick on you. Are you kidding?
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You're dressing him like he's still in
elementary school.
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Dorky shirt.
28
00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:25,990
Dorky pants?
29
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:28,650
You can't even see his boxers?
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Why don't you just put him in a Tickle
Me Elmo t -shirt and send him to his
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desk?
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I think he looks really cute.
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Okay, don't listen to me.
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Haley, I guess those shoes aren't too
bad if you're running away from someone.
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Hey, I didn't pick them out.
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I didn't pick any of this out.
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Max, do you want to ignore peer pressure
and be judged for who you are, or do
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you just want to follow the crowd?
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I need new clothes fast.
40
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Fine. We'll go shopping later.
41
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No. She picks out my clothes now.
42
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You had your chance.
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00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,699
Man. Remember when we used to be cool,
Angie?
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Angie in high school.
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Angie when we got married.
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Angie becomes a mom!
47
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Hey, you're not so cool anymore either.
48
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No? Really?
49
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Talk to the boxers. What's up, baby?
50
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What's up?
51
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,520
What's up, kitchen?
52
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:28,720
What's up, toast?
53
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,140
What's up, outside? What's up?
54
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,520
Now, tell me which of these settings you
like for the wedding.
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00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,960
I'm just so glad you came across my ad
in the phone book. I knew I'd get
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business if I was listed before AAA
events.
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A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
-A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
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-A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
-A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
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00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,520
-A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
-A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A -A
60
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What are you talking about?
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Didn't they do this at your old school?
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Every colored bracelet is something
different you'll do with a guy.
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00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,960
Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, I've gone green.
65
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I even went blue once. What?
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Oh, my God. Blue?
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Didn't you get sand everywhere?
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Hey,
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when you're in the middle of blue, you
don't know where... There you are.
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00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:40,080
Man, wait till everybody at school finds
out that you've done blue.
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00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,640
They're not going to think I'm like a
slut, are they?
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Are you kidding?
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Everyone's going to think you're cool.
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At St.
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Teresa's, you're only a slut if you get
pregnant.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,300
Hey, Dad, where's our Bible?
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I've got homework for my religious
studies class.
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00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,180
Oh, check the living room.
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00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,780
When your grandma passed out last night,
I touched it to her head to see if it'd
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leave a burn mark.
81
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:16,529
You know, a blue one would make a great
gift for the flower girl. Do not do
82
00:04:16,529 --> 00:04:17,529
that.
83
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:59,640
Thank God that fat kid had his papa take
a hit off his inhaler.
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They would have grabbed us all.
85
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Where's the front door?
86
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After me, fellas. Come on. Come on.
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I'll be up in my room.
88
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All right, Jimmy. I'm serious.
89
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,640
If Max doesn't make friends soon, he's
going to be branded a loser for the rest
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00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,499
of middle school.
91
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,740
So what's he supposed to do?
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I don't know.
93
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I mean, I got lucky.
94
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,400
I started dating some hot cheerleader.
95
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Used to take her to all the parties and
say, Look at what yours got!
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Which way? Which way?
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Through there.
98
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,680
The fruit in the bowl is fake! What am I
saying? That kid's not going for the
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fruit.
100
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,980
Why didn't I think of this earlier?
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Dina's son Kyle goes to the...
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Max, they should get to know each other.
Max, get down here!
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No, Angie.
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00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:03,340
Kids don't make friends by having their
mommy set them up on blind dates.
105
00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:05,340
Look, a kid trips in the cafeteria.
106
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,400
You laugh so hard that milk comes out of
your nose. The kid next to you is
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laughing so hard he accidentally farts.
108
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Boom!
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Friends for life!
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Do you know Kyle from school?
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Well, maybe he'd like to go to the
movies with you this weekend. Mom, no!
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me, it'll be fine.
113
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No way! Mom, don't make me do that!
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Oh. No way!
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I'm not going to hang out with him.
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Everyone knows he's a loser.
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Hey!
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You're in my backyard with your mommy
looking at China, so who's the real
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a princess?
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00:06:54,919 --> 00:06:55,919
Angie, Dina, I'm worried.
121
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Do I have to do it?
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Come on, you love skating, Max. Now get
out there. You might make some friends.
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Stupid.
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Man, it's hard when you don't fit in.
125
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Remember when we were trying to get into
the roller disco crowd?
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And you were spinning me around because
you were going to whip me out so I'd
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00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,700
look really cool. But then I got scared
and I kept holding onto your hand.
128
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:12,430
So we just could go round and round in
circles. Remember?
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00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:21,730
I have to use your head, Michael. I
wasn't there. No, I specifically
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That wasn't me.
131
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Max, that was awesome.
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Way to go, little buddy.
133
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Yeah, way to go, little buddy.
134
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I'm sorry.
135
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,130
Look, if you want to be cool with these
guys,
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This one time, all right? Give me
permission to tell me off, see? Like
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00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:46,790
like, get out of here, old man, or
something. Get out of here, fathead!
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00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:47,790
enough of your crap!
139
00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:51,390
Yeah, like that, okay? That's good.
140
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I'll be back in an hour. You'll come
back when I tell you to come back.
141
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:15,250
Check out these bracelets. I saw
Carmen's friend wearing one. They're so
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00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,190
I got one in every color.
143
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,670
It was so sad.
144
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:23,370
The boy at the store had some kind of
disorder.
145
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:26,870
When he gave me my change, he was just
shaking.
146
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:36,090
Well, while you were out getting
bracelets, I went out
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and got Max some friends.
148
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:38,810
Honey, that's great.
149
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:43,840
And those friends... The ones that I got
him when I took him to the skate park.
150
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,660
Coming over with some burgers that I'm
making.
151
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,380
There's no reason to talk like this
anymore, but I like it.
152
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,320
Want to see the coolest thing ever?
153
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:00,580
Watch out!
154
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,200
George, did you know about this?
155
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:10,410
think it's really cool.
156
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,350
Which genius talked you into that?
157
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,619
video we watched.
158
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,060
Angie, relax. It's okay.
159
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,340
No, it's not.
160
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,020
Remember Sammy the Skater, the penguin
with the little helmet?
161
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:57,020
You think it'd still be rad when you
wear your helmet and your elbow pads.
162
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:05,960
You know what else Sammy the Skater
sings, Angie? Shut up, shut up. You're
163
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making it worse. Now meet me in the
kitchen.
164
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:14,110
Angie, what are you doing? You're
embarrassing him in front of his
165
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:16,570
Those aren't the kind of friends I want
Max to have.
166
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:18,130
They're older. They're reckless.
167
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:20,110
Look, he already changed his hair.
168
00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:24,030
He's too desperate for friends. What
other stupid things is he going to do to
169
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,990
try to impress them? Look, they're just
being guys.
170
00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:28,930
When we get together, we do crazy stuff.
171
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:33,190
Look, can you imagine you and your
girlfriends going to a Raiders game and
172
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,650
painting your chest silver and black?
173
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,450
Be happy he has friends.
174
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:46,790
Okay, you don't know what it's like to
be a loner.
175
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:50,710
That
176
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:59,730
still
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00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:01,130
hurts a lot less than being alone.
178
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,090
Right, Bodhi?
179
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,810
Come on, man, get up. I'm trying to make
a point here.
180
00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:11,870
If he's in that much pain, Angie, at
least we know he's not on drugs.
181
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,030
I think we need a woman president. Hey,
honey.
182
00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:35,890
No, Angie, Angie, don't end it.
183
00:12:36,370 --> 00:12:38,730
It's just one gray hair. We'll dye it.
184
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:40,750
What's going on?
185
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,530
I had an interesting little trip to the
grocery store.
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00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,110
Another shopping story.
187
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:46,330
Let me have those scissors.
188
00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:52,250
When the teenage boy bagging my
groceries noticed my bracelets, I took
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00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:55,670
compliment. When he helped me to the
car, I thought that was really sweet.
190
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,250
When he put his hand on my butt and told
me that he'd never done purple with an
191
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,630
older chick, I hit him.
192
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:04,150
And when he stopped crying, we found his
retainer.
193
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:08,950
He told me that each of those colors
stands for something different you'll do
194
00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:09,950
with a boy.
195
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,510
Shit to cut them all off?
196
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:18,630
Carmen was wearing a bunch of those
bracelets yesterday.
197
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:21,250
Carmen, get down here!
198
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:26,050
You and my... day, you didn't go around
advertising this stuff.
199
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:29,670
You know, you'd go off with a guy, and
then if he went too far, you slapped
200
00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:33,270
Now, if slapping was your thing, it got
a little confusing.
201
00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:34,510
Mom!
202
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,510
Another source of confusion, biting.
203
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,070
Hey, let me see your wrist.
204
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:48,650
Orange, blue, green, purple, red, black,
pink, another weirder kind of blue,
205
00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:49,690
what would you call that?
206
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,030
Teal. Teal!
207
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,300
Carmen, you're tealing.
208
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:56,660
You're a tealer.
209
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,860
We know about the bracelets. We need to
have a serious talk. No, we don't.
210
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,100
Everyone just calmed down. I didn't do
anything.
211
00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:07,200
Okay, then why are you wearing the
bracelets?
212
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,960
Because people think it's cool. A week
ago, hardly anyone at school talked to
213
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,800
me. Not everyone likes me.
214
00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:17,400
You left public school because everyone
thought you were easy. Now you want
215
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,580
everyone to think you're easy?
216
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Because I'm...
217
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:23,220
Maturing.
218
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,580
Um, Ward, June.
219
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,080
I hate to interrupt one parental failure
with another, but the beeve's been
220
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,080
arrested at the mall.
221
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,580
What? For what?
222
00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:42,220
They wouldn't tell me. He got in trouble
with those skater punks. They're
223
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:43,220
holding him down there.
224
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:44,920
I'll handle this.
225
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,480
I told you he was going to do something
stupid with those boys.
226
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:50,620
Don't worry.
227
00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:56,770
No matter what happened at the mall, he
will have his day in food court.
228
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,810
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, come on.
229
00:15:01,990 --> 00:15:04,950
If we don't laugh, we'll cry.
230
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:19,510
Is anybody
231
00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:20,510
here?
232
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,550
I'll be back in a second. He's checking
on my kid.
233
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,030
You know, this is a waste of time, man.
234
00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:26,310
Skateboarding's not a crime.
235
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,770
So a kid, like, grinds on a rail or
tries to jump a fountain.
236
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:32,330
It's like these mall cops got nothing
better to do.
237
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,650
My son stabbed another gangbanger and
threw him down the escalator.
238
00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:41,690
So you think they're keeping both of our
kids in the same room back there?
239
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:43,330
Probably.
240
00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:44,930
Max, are you okay?
241
00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,790
Max, if you can hear me, son.
242
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:52,050
Don't hurt any of those other boys. You
can't afford your third strike.
243
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:56,270
Max, are you okay?
244
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:57,690
Yeah, I'm fine.
245
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:01,370
I need you to sign this. Your kid's not
allowed back in the mall. We're going to
246
00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:02,370
have his picture on file.
247
00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:05,490
Whoa, man, that's a little harsh, man.
They were just skateboarding.
248
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:09,650
It wasn't skateboarding. I just finished
grabbing this guy's kid out of a knife
249
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:13,390
fight, and then I find your son and six
of his friends beating up another kid.
250
00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:15,030
Is this true?
251
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,160
Don't be too hard on yourself.
252
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,660
Once a kid goes down that road, there
ain't much he can do.
253
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,760
Well, my kid's not going down that road,
okay? He's smarter than that.
254
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,080
Turn to your right.
255
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,900
He's dyslexic, man. Just turn him.
256
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:47,940
George, hey.
257
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,940
Mac. Why would you do this?
258
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,120
This guy at the mall called Trevor a
name.
259
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,860
So that gives you the right to gang up
on the boy?
260
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,400
I had to stand up for him.
261
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:01,040
He'd do the same thing for me. You mess
with one of us, you mess with all of us.
262
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:01,879
But that's it.
263
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:02,880
Come here.
264
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,139
Stand right there.
265
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Cover your eyes.
266
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,260
What are you doing?
267
00:17:09,579 --> 00:17:13,240
Look, those kids are going to end up in
prison. I know because I grew up with
268
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,099
kids like that. And I didn't work my ass
off to let that happen to you.
269
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,849
Go upstairs and wash that out yourself.
Then wait in your room.
270
00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:23,369
Did you hear him?
271
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:26,730
What the hell is going on with our kids?
I don't know.
272
00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:31,110
Are we bad parents? No.
273
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:34,050
You've been tough. I've been forgiving.
274
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:37,510
We've gone into huge debt to get Carmen
into the right school.
275
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:40,690
We've been up half the night with Max
helping him with his learning
276
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:41,690
disabilities.
277
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,650
We've always put them first.
278
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:45,290
Well, it's not enough.
279
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:47,920
Because they keep falling in with the
wrong people.
280
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,840
Last year, Max waited up for Santa.
281
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:54,260
This year, he and his crew are going to
wait on the roof and jack his sleigh.
282
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,600
God knows what Carmen's going to do with
the elves.
283
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,440
We talked about this before.
284
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,920
Maybe it's the city.
285
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,600
Maybe there's a better place to raise
kids.
286
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,260
George, I'm not moving out of the city.
287
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:14,980
Hey, you guys!
288
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:19,030
There's a high -speed chase about to go
past the house. Come on, let's go cheer
289
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,030
on the contractor.
290
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:25,710
I'll miss your mom. Let's get the hell
out of the city.
291
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:32,230
You know, Angie, if we leave L .A., this
will be the last car chase we ever see.
292
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,530
You'll get a bottle of wine, I'll get
the chairs. Go, go, go, go!
293
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,390
Remember this?
294
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,850
Look, I'm telling you for the last time,
Ernie, that wasn't me.
295
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,130
Oh, yeah?
296
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,970
Well, then whose skates are these, Mr.
297
00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:14,190
Von Boogie?
298
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:18,470
I believe it's Dr.
299
00:19:18,710 --> 00:19:19,710
Von Boogie.
300
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:23,710
Captain Shaker reporting for duty.
301
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:25,410
Doctor, what time is it?
302
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,470
Time to get funky!
303
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:51,010
Now if I call in six, it'll be a lot.
23836
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