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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,360 Grandma, check out my police. 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:08,800 Isn't that cute? 3 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:13,040 I've got a gun now, but it seems like only yesterday I was sleeping with a 4 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,040 knife. 5 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:15,980 Morning, Grandma. 6 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,260 Morning. Morning, dork. 7 00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:42,760 If you really want to scare him, go upstairs and pretend to stab him while 8 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:43,760 sleeping. 9 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,980 That's how I got him to stop sucking his thumb. 10 00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:52,640 Of course, that was right around the time he started wetting the bed. 11 00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:29,050 What if I told you about bringing psychics to the house? 12 00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:33,210 George, the lottery is up to $250 million. 13 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,450 Clara's going to help me pick the winning numbers. 14 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:38,990 Right, Clara? 15 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,790 What do the chicken bones say? 16 00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:44,690 Hold on. 17 00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:46,790 The bones are channeling through me, Mom. 18 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,770 I can see what they see. 19 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:51,670 I'm on a plate covered in hot sauce. 20 00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,150 And I'm being carried by a waitress in sexy orange shorts. 21 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,500 Oh, no, Mom, there's an owl with big booby eyes. 22 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:00,740 And I can't get away. 23 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:03,000 But I'm okay with that. 24 00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:06,660 It's coming. 25 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,280 I see... three. 26 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:17,660 Good, good. What's the next number? Wait, now. I see... death. 27 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,980 Death will visit you, Benny. 28 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,840 Visit? Come on, death, take her. 29 00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,260 Foil swan and feed her to your dog. No, 30 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:34,840 no. It's clear now. Death will touch you three times before 31 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,600 all hallows eve. 32 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:45,200 I'm sorry. I forgot I changed the ringer on my cell phone for Halloween. 33 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:48,860 Hello? 34 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:52,180 Bill? 35 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,600 Oh, that's terrible. I'll be right down. 36 00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,210 Bill, the janitor's dead. 37 00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,730 I had lunch with him yesterday. 38 00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:08,030 One down, two to go. 39 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:15,030 This is on the house because I just want to get the hell away from you. 40 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:23,970 Dad, there's no such thing as a curse, right? No, honey, it's just a sad 41 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:28,350 coincidence. Don't lie to her, George. She could be next, or you. 42 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,980 one of us in this room. 43 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:33,320 Benny, you're scaring the kids. 44 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,820 I'm not scared. 45 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,060 Oh, I'm sorry. I changed Carmen's cell ringer, too. 46 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:42,260 All 47 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:52,580 my 48 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,300 friends know that I'm a low rider. 49 00:04:11,329 --> 00:04:12,329 Mom, what are you doing? 50 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,550 Praying. I don't want the curse to get me. 51 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,209 Mom, those aren't even rosary beads. Those are from the Mardi Gras. 52 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,490 They were lucky for me there. 53 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,350 What's all this? 54 00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:31,810 Oh, it's a memorial to Bill the janitor. 55 00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,210 This is where it happened. 56 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,370 He just killed over right here on your desk. 57 00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:38,250 He died on my desk? 58 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,560 That creeps me out. 59 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,220 Look, why don't we honor Bill by moving the memorial to the bathroom? 60 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,220 Uh, we could use a candle in there. 61 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,720 Yeah, how about that? You know, one of us dogs is backed up, so until we get a 62 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,060 new janitor... Hey. 63 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,140 Hey, Ernie. Shut up. 64 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,800 George, I just talked to Bill's widow. She's a wreck. 65 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,240 Can you believe he didn't have life insurance? 66 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,130 Yeah, that's terrible. 67 00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:27,450 Oh, here's something for Bill's memorial. 68 00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:37,410 Well, Bill, back in the day, we had some fun at Mardi Gras, didn't we? 69 00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:43,630 Here's one more for old time's sake. 70 00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:44,990 Mom! 71 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:50,350 Look, he's dead, okay? He's suffered enough. 72 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,350 company get away with giving George and the management life insurance, but not 73 00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:58,089 the workers. 74 00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:00,990 Look, honey, look, now's not the time, all right? Wait, wait, what are you 75 00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:03,910 talking about? They don't give anybody here life insurance. 76 00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:10,230 What? We're lucky to get health insurance with the way fingers and toes 77 00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,270 flying out of here. 78 00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:21,870 Do we or don't we have life insurance? 79 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,140 We have everything we need. 80 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,480 We're very fortunate. 81 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,460 I can't believe you lied to me. 82 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,840 Don't you see how selfish you're being? What if something happened to you? 83 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,780 Without insurance, the kids and I don't have enough money to live. 84 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,780 Look, Angie, if I die within the next five years, you got a pretty good chance 85 00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:40,780 of remarrying up. 86 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:44,460 How can you say that? 87 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,300 All right, I'm sorry. Look, stay out of the sun. Make it seven years. 88 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,580 Obviously, we can't talk, okay? Because you look good and everything, but you're 89 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,280 not in a place where you can take compliments on. 90 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,760 You can have as much ice cream as you want. 91 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,800 One, you have life insurance. 92 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:09,700 You're still mad about that? 93 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,760 I don't know what crazy thing is going on inside your head, but when you're 94 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,940 ready to talk about it, knock on the bedroom door, and maybe I'll unlock it. 95 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:20,140 Yeah, right. 96 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,680 If I knock on that door, you're... Okay. 97 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:36,100 Hey, what you watching? 98 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,760 Divorce port. 99 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,220 Give me that. 100 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,740 Why don't people talk about their problems before they get married? 101 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,440 Max, some people don't want to face their problems. 102 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,360 Try to avoid them any way they can. 103 00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:50,450 What's up with you and Mom? 104 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,430 Oh, look, leave it to Beaver. 105 00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:55,770 I hate these old shows. 106 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,810 Hey, when I was growing up, my dad wasn't around, my mom was always 107 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:03,510 These shows were like my family. The Munsters, the Jetsons. 108 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,890 I used to pretend they loved me. 109 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,370 And you're the guy I'm supposed to look up to, huh? 110 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:15,850 One of these days, Max, one of these days, I'll zoom straight to the moon! 111 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:20,290 Up your nose with the rubber hose? 112 00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:22,810 I'll kiss my grid. 113 00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:27,330 It's not my job, man. 114 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:00,790 Well, June, I'm off to work. 115 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,550 Hurry up, Beaver. You don't want to be late for school. 116 00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:08,850 Ward, after work, would it kill you to stop by Ted Binkley's and talk to him 117 00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:09,850 about life insurance? 118 00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,730 June, less talking, more juicing. 119 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,730 But, Ward... End of discussion. 120 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,890 One more peep out of view, and I'm going to have to take a tone. 121 00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:26,550 Now, where is that beaver? 122 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:36,910 Why aren't you dressed for school? 123 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,130 I'm feeling pretty crummy, Dad. 124 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,070 Maybe you should stay home and take care of me and stuff. 125 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:48,830 109. 126 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,210 That's quite a fever. 127 00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,550 Yeah. I might have polio or rabies or some junk. 128 00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:58,870 Beaver, what is this all about? 129 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,020 Like bums and hobos. 130 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,480 And stuff. 131 00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:12,060 Beaver, I'm not going to die. 132 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,340 I eat red meat three times a day and I smoke like a chimney. 133 00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,620 Just like Dr. 134 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,700 Jenkins told me to. 135 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,060 What about accidents, Ward? 136 00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:23,340 June? 137 00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:29,420 Ward, I think the bee deserves an answer as to why you won't get life insurance. 138 00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,300 What's the real reason? 139 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,260 Well, it's certainly not because I have such an overwhelming fear of death that 140 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,780 the very mention of the word makes it hard for me to breathe, Heath. 141 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,480 War, I think we found our reason. 142 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,640 You know, June, you're right. 143 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,920 I sure didn't expect the answer to come from you. 144 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,220 You're almost smart enough to be a secretary. 145 00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:03,830 As soon as I get to work, I'm going to order up a policy from Ted Binkley, our 146 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,510 insurance agent, because, ¿sabes qué? 147 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,010 I take care of my family y todo. 148 00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:13,230 I think you've made the right decision, Ward. 149 00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:18,670 I think someone's pushing their beds together tonight. 150 00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,790 Oh, the Johansons are trying for another boy? 151 00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,430 Órale. 152 00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:29,910 Well, it looks like everything turned out okay like it always does. 153 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,259 Huh, Mom? 154 00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,300 Not yet, B. 155 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,260 Your father doesn't realize he needs to get a physical to get insurance. 156 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:40,780 And you know how afraid he is of doctors. 157 00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,199 Oh, man. 158 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,540 Why can't Dad be a man's man like Rock Hudson or Liberace? 159 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,500 I just talked to Ted Binkley, and the doctor is on his way over. 160 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:15,100 All your father needs to do to get life insurance is pass the physical. 161 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:20,380 Now, Marilyn, remember, your Uncle Herman is very afraid of doctors, so 162 00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,720 going to have to fool him. You know what to do, right? 163 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:23,980 Yes, Aunt Lily. 164 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,720 What am I supposed to do? 165 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,440 Why don't you take your bat and go play ball in the backyard, dear? 166 00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:55,450 New boyfriend, but there's something you should know. 167 00:12:55,750 --> 00:13:00,370 He's a little older, and the poor man thinks he's a doctor. 168 00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:04,690 With Marilyn's looks, you can't be too choosy. 169 00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,210 Please be nice to him, Uncle Herman. 170 00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:12,390 This is very important to me. 171 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,250 Don't worry, Marilyn. 172 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:17,470 I'll just turn on the old Munster charm. 173 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,840 Of course you are. 174 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,320 Please, come in. 175 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:34,540 I'm so sorry about the squinting. I'm afraid I left my glasses in the cab. I 176 00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:35,600 can't see a thing. 177 00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,800 Oh, what a shame, because Marilyn is very attractive. 178 00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:45,280 Why don't we get started? Let's have a look at that chest. 179 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,820 Shouldn't you at least take her to dinner first? 180 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,340 Hermit. 181 00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:58,650 I think he wants to perform a physical on you. 182 00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:01,270 Oh, that's right, Lily. 183 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,250 He is a doctor. 184 00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:12,590 Marilyn, why don't you finish getting ready while Herman and I get to know Dr. 185 00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:13,730 Wolf? 186 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:17,950 Well, your heart sounds as healthy as a horse's. 187 00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:19,730 It should. 188 00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,030 It won the Kentucky Derby. 189 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:33,480 Why don't you sit down, Mr. Munster? I want to check your reflexes. 190 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,040 Oh, found it! 191 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,600 Lovely! 192 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:51,540 Here's the potion to keep Herman calm in case he figures out it's a real doctor 193 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,240 here for the life insurance. 194 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,160 real physical. 195 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,700 No, no, no, no, no. 196 00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,540 Pussycat. 197 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,820 Pussycat. They won't give you life insurance without a physical. 198 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,300 This is what stopped me from getting life insurance in the first place. 199 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,240 What if they find something wrong with me? 200 00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:15,840 I don't want to die. 201 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,620 Why are you so afraid of death? 202 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,740 Because that old bat told me my father died young, so I'm afraid that I'm going 203 00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:23,740 to die young. 204 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,920 I don't want to do this anymore, Lele. 205 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:46,300 I'm insured? No, the policy will not kick in for 24 hours, but there 206 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,100 be a problem, unless you're cursed. 207 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,680 The insurance doctor. 208 00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800 his insurance. 209 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,890 How was your day, dear? 210 00:18:28,210 --> 00:18:30,450 Terrible. I couldn't get home fast enough. 211 00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:34,570 It was a nightmare. I felt like I was flying by the same background over and 212 00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:35,570 over. 213 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:42,430 Well, you made it home safe and sound, so just try to relax. 214 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:43,850 I can't relax. 215 00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:47,670 This curse has got me so scared I hid under my desk all day until I heard that 216 00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:48,810 voice. Jetson! 217 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,550 Yeah, just like that. 218 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,040 I tell you. A jinx, Jetson! A jinx! 219 00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,320 But, sir, the curse will be over in an hour. 220 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,560 Oh! 221 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,560 Well, then, I'll see you tomorrow. 222 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:19,760 I'll be late, because I'm going to the opening of Star Wars, episode 23. 223 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:26,500 I hear the effects are amazing, but the story's a little weak. 224 00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,830 Latinos are now 85 % of the population. 225 00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:45,170 Huh. We're down 5%. I'm too nervous to read. 226 00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:49,150 I'm just going to lock myself in the bedroom for the next hour to be safe, 227 00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:52,330 after I put this in the vacuum shredder. Be careful, George. 228 00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,070 The suction man was here today, and he turned up... 229 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,160 It's not too soon. 230 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,200 I'm available. 231 00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:40,840 George, wake up. 232 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,460 George! I forbid you from marrying Mr. Spacely! 233 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,540 Oh, it was a dream. 234 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,700 What are you talking about? 235 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,180 Oh, baby, I'm sorry. 236 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,580 Okay, I was dealing with something from my childhood. 237 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,080 But that doesn't matter now because... 238 00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:00,480 I'm going to get life insurance tomorrow. 239 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,100 Thank you. 240 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:07,660 Now come to bed. 241 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:14,540 And since you're not insured, just take it easy and let me handle things. 18848

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