Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,360
Grandma, check out my police.
2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:08,800
Isn't that cute?
3
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:13,040
I've got a gun now, but it seems like
only yesterday I was sleeping with a
4
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,040
knife.
5
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:15,980
Morning, Grandma.
6
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,260
Morning. Morning, dork.
7
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:42,760
If you really want to scare him, go
upstairs and pretend to stab him while
8
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:43,760
sleeping.
9
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,980
That's how I got him to stop sucking his
thumb.
10
00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:52,640
Of course, that was right around the
time he started wetting the bed.
11
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:29,050
What if I told you about bringing
psychics to the house?
12
00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:33,210
George, the lottery is up to $250
million.
13
00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,450
Clara's going to help me pick the
winning numbers.
14
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:38,990
Right, Clara?
15
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,790
What do the chicken bones say?
16
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:44,690
Hold on.
17
00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:46,790
The bones are channeling through me,
Mom.
18
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,770
I can see what they see.
19
00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:51,670
I'm on a plate covered in hot sauce.
20
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,150
And I'm being carried by a waitress in
sexy orange shorts.
21
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,500
Oh, no, Mom, there's an owl with big
booby eyes.
22
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:00,740
And I can't get away.
23
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:03,000
But I'm okay with that.
24
00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:06,660
It's coming.
25
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,280
I see... three.
26
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:17,660
Good, good. What's the next number?
Wait, now. I see... death.
27
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,980
Death will visit you, Benny.
28
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,840
Visit? Come on, death, take her.
29
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,260
Foil swan and feed her to your dog. No,
30
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:34,840
no. It's clear now. Death will touch you
three times before
31
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,600
all hallows eve.
32
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:45,200
I'm sorry. I forgot I changed the ringer
on my cell phone for Halloween.
33
00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:48,860
Hello?
34
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:52,180
Bill?
35
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,600
Oh, that's terrible. I'll be right down.
36
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,210
Bill, the janitor's dead.
37
00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,730
I had lunch with him yesterday.
38
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:08,030
One down, two to go.
39
00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:15,030
This is on the house because I just want
to get the hell away from you.
40
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:23,970
Dad, there's no such thing as a curse,
right? No, honey, it's just a sad
41
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:28,350
coincidence. Don't lie to her, George.
She could be next, or you.
42
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,980
one of us in this room.
43
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:33,320
Benny, you're scaring the kids.
44
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,820
I'm not scared.
45
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,060
Oh, I'm sorry. I changed Carmen's cell
ringer, too.
46
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:42,260
All
47
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:52,580
my
48
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,300
friends know that I'm a low rider.
49
00:04:11,329 --> 00:04:12,329
Mom, what are you doing?
50
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,550
Praying. I don't want the curse to get
me.
51
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,209
Mom, those aren't even rosary beads.
Those are from the Mardi Gras.
52
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,490
They were lucky for me there.
53
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,350
What's all this?
54
00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:31,810
Oh, it's a memorial to Bill the janitor.
55
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,210
This is where it happened.
56
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,370
He just killed over right here on your
desk.
57
00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:38,250
He died on my desk?
58
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,560
That creeps me out.
59
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,220
Look, why don't we honor Bill by moving
the memorial to the bathroom?
60
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,220
Uh, we could use a candle in there.
61
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,720
Yeah, how about that? You know, one of
us dogs is backed up, so until we get a
62
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,060
new janitor... Hey.
63
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,140
Hey, Ernie. Shut up.
64
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,800
George, I just talked to Bill's widow.
She's a wreck.
65
00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,240
Can you believe he didn't have life
insurance?
66
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,130
Yeah, that's terrible.
67
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:27,450
Oh, here's something for Bill's
memorial.
68
00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:37,410
Well, Bill, back in the day, we had some
fun at Mardi Gras, didn't we?
69
00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:43,630
Here's one more for old time's sake.
70
00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:44,990
Mom!
71
00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:50,350
Look, he's dead, okay? He's suffered
enough.
72
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,350
company get away with giving George and
the management life insurance, but not
73
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:58,089
the workers.
74
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:00,990
Look, honey, look, now's not the time,
all right? Wait, wait, what are you
75
00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:03,910
talking about? They don't give anybody
here life insurance.
76
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:10,230
What? We're lucky to get health
insurance with the way fingers and toes
77
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,270
flying out of here.
78
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:21,870
Do we or don't we have life insurance?
79
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,140
We have everything we need.
80
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,480
We're very fortunate.
81
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,460
I can't believe you lied to me.
82
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,840
Don't you see how selfish you're being?
What if something happened to you?
83
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,780
Without insurance, the kids and I don't
have enough money to live.
84
00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,780
Look, Angie, if I die within the next
five years, you got a pretty good chance
85
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:40,780
of remarrying up.
86
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:44,460
How can you say that?
87
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,300
All right, I'm sorry. Look, stay out of
the sun. Make it seven years.
88
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,580
Obviously, we can't talk, okay? Because
you look good and everything, but you're
89
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,280
not in a place where you can take
compliments on.
90
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,760
You can have as much ice cream as you
want.
91
00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,800
One, you have life insurance.
92
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:09,700
You're still mad about that?
93
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,760
I don't know what crazy thing is going
on inside your head, but when you're
94
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,940
ready to talk about it, knock on the
bedroom door, and maybe I'll unlock it.
95
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:20,140
Yeah, right.
96
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,680
If I knock on that door, you're... Okay.
97
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:36,100
Hey, what you watching?
98
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,760
Divorce port.
99
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,220
Give me that.
100
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,740
Why don't people talk about their
problems before they get married?
101
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,440
Max, some people don't want to face
their problems.
102
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,360
Try to avoid them any way they can.
103
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:50,450
What's up with you and Mom?
104
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,430
Oh, look, leave it to Beaver.
105
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:55,770
I hate these old shows.
106
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,810
Hey, when I was growing up, my dad
wasn't around, my mom was always
107
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:03,510
These shows were like my family. The
Munsters, the Jetsons.
108
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,890
I used to pretend they loved me.
109
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,370
And you're the guy I'm supposed to look
up to, huh?
110
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:15,850
One of these days, Max, one of these
days, I'll zoom straight to the moon!
111
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:20,290
Up your nose with the rubber hose?
112
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:22,810
I'll kiss my grid.
113
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:27,330
It's not my job, man.
114
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:00,790
Well, June, I'm off to work.
115
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,550
Hurry up, Beaver. You don't want to be
late for school.
116
00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:08,850
Ward, after work, would it kill you to
stop by Ted Binkley's and talk to him
117
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:09,850
about life insurance?
118
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,730
June, less talking, more juicing.
119
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,730
But, Ward... End of discussion.
120
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,890
One more peep out of view, and I'm going
to have to take a tone.
121
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:26,550
Now, where is that beaver?
122
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:36,910
Why aren't you dressed for school?
123
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,130
I'm feeling pretty crummy, Dad.
124
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,070
Maybe you should stay home and take care
of me and stuff.
125
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:48,830
109.
126
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,210
That's quite a fever.
127
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,550
Yeah. I might have polio or rabies or
some junk.
128
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:58,870
Beaver, what is this all about?
129
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,020
Like bums and hobos.
130
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,480
And stuff.
131
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:12,060
Beaver, I'm not going to die.
132
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,340
I eat red meat three times a day and I
smoke like a chimney.
133
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,620
Just like Dr.
134
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,700
Jenkins told me to.
135
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,060
What about accidents, Ward?
136
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:23,340
June?
137
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:29,420
Ward, I think the bee deserves an answer
as to why you won't get life insurance.
138
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,300
What's the real reason?
139
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,260
Well, it's certainly not because I have
such an overwhelming fear of death that
140
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,780
the very mention of the word makes it
hard for me to breathe, Heath.
141
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,480
War, I think we found our reason.
142
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,640
You know, June, you're right.
143
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,920
I sure didn't expect the answer to come
from you.
144
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,220
You're almost smart enough to be a
secretary.
145
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:03,830
As soon as I get to work, I'm going to
order up a policy from Ted Binkley, our
146
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,510
insurance agent, because, ¿sabes qué?
147
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,010
I take care of my family y todo.
148
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:13,230
I think you've made the right decision,
Ward.
149
00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:18,670
I think someone's pushing their beds
together tonight.
150
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,790
Oh, the Johansons are trying for another
boy?
151
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,430
Órale.
152
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:29,910
Well, it looks like everything turned
out okay like it always does.
153
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,259
Huh, Mom?
154
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,300
Not yet, B.
155
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,260
Your father doesn't realize he needs to
get a physical to get insurance.
156
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:40,780
And you know how afraid he is of
doctors.
157
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,199
Oh, man.
158
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,540
Why can't Dad be a man's man like Rock
Hudson or Liberace?
159
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,500
I just talked to Ted Binkley, and the
doctor is on his way over.
160
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:15,100
All your father needs to do to get life
insurance is pass the physical.
161
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:20,380
Now, Marilyn, remember, your Uncle
Herman is very afraid of doctors, so
162
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,720
going to have to fool him. You know what
to do, right?
163
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:23,980
Yes, Aunt Lily.
164
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,720
What am I supposed to do?
165
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,440
Why don't you take your bat and go play
ball in the backyard, dear?
166
00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:55,450
New boyfriend, but there's something you
should know.
167
00:12:55,750 --> 00:13:00,370
He's a little older, and the poor man
thinks he's a doctor.
168
00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:04,690
With Marilyn's looks, you can't be too
choosy.
169
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,210
Please be nice to him, Uncle Herman.
170
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:12,390
This is very important to me.
171
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,250
Don't worry, Marilyn.
172
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:17,470
I'll just turn on the old Munster charm.
173
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,840
Of course you are.
174
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,320
Please, come in.
175
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:34,540
I'm so sorry about the squinting. I'm
afraid I left my glasses in the cab. I
176
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:35,600
can't see a thing.
177
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,800
Oh, what a shame, because Marilyn is
very attractive.
178
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:45,280
Why don't we get started? Let's have a
look at that chest.
179
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,820
Shouldn't you at least take her to
dinner first?
180
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,340
Hermit.
181
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:58,650
I think he wants to perform a physical
on you.
182
00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:01,270
Oh, that's right, Lily.
183
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,250
He is a doctor.
184
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:12,590
Marilyn, why don't you finish getting
ready while Herman and I get to know Dr.
185
00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:13,730
Wolf?
186
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:17,950
Well, your heart sounds as healthy as a
horse's.
187
00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:19,730
It should.
188
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,030
It won the Kentucky Derby.
189
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:33,480
Why don't you sit down, Mr. Munster? I
want to check your reflexes.
190
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,040
Oh, found it!
191
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,600
Lovely!
192
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:51,540
Here's the potion to keep Herman calm in
case he figures out it's a real doctor
193
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,240
here for the life insurance.
194
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,160
real physical.
195
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,700
No, no, no, no, no.
196
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,540
Pussycat.
197
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,820
Pussycat. They won't give you life
insurance without a physical.
198
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,300
This is what stopped me from getting
life insurance in the first place.
199
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,240
What if they find something wrong with
me?
200
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:15,840
I don't want to die.
201
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,620
Why are you so afraid of death?
202
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,740
Because that old bat told me my father
died young, so I'm afraid that I'm going
203
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:23,740
to die young.
204
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,920
I don't want to do this anymore, Lele.
205
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:46,300
I'm insured? No, the policy will not
kick in for 24 hours, but there
206
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,100
be a problem, unless you're cursed.
207
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,680
The insurance doctor.
208
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800
his insurance.
209
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,890
How was your day, dear?
210
00:18:28,210 --> 00:18:30,450
Terrible. I couldn't get home fast
enough.
211
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:34,570
It was a nightmare. I felt like I was
flying by the same background over and
212
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:35,570
over.
213
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:42,430
Well, you made it home safe and sound,
so just try to relax.
214
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:43,850
I can't relax.
215
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:47,670
This curse has got me so scared I hid
under my desk all day until I heard that
216
00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:48,810
voice. Jetson!
217
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,550
Yeah, just like that.
218
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,040
I tell you. A jinx, Jetson! A jinx!
219
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,320
But, sir, the curse will be over in an
hour.
220
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,560
Oh!
221
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,560
Well, then, I'll see you tomorrow.
222
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:19,760
I'll be late, because I'm going to the
opening of Star Wars, episode 23.
223
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:26,500
I hear the effects are amazing, but the
story's a little weak.
224
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,830
Latinos are now 85 % of the population.
225
00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:45,170
Huh. We're down 5%. I'm too nervous to
read.
226
00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:49,150
I'm just going to lock myself in the
bedroom for the next hour to be safe,
227
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:52,330
after I put this in the vacuum shredder.
Be careful, George.
228
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,070
The suction man was here today, and he
turned up...
229
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,160
It's not too soon.
230
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,200
I'm available.
231
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:40,840
George, wake up.
232
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,460
George! I forbid you from marrying Mr.
Spacely!
233
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,540
Oh, it was a dream.
234
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,700
What are you talking about?
235
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,180
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
236
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,580
Okay, I was dealing with something from
my childhood.
237
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,080
But that doesn't matter now because...
238
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:00,480
I'm going to get life insurance
tomorrow.
239
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,100
Thank you.
240
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:07,660
Now come to bed.
241
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:14,540
And since you're not insured, just take
it easy and let me handle things.
18848
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof