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Hey,
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you two.
3
00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:07,800
How are the wedding plans coming? They
would be going great if Randy would just
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00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:12,020
shut up and let me make the decisions.
She's trying to make all the decisions
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00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:13,320
and not just the wedding.
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00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,340
Why won't you even talk about kids? We
could adopt.
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You want a kid?
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Okay.
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Fine.
10
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,980
Oh, look, it's a boy.
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And when you hold him, remember to
support that head.
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Because you don't want that thing to
snap off and fall on your foot.
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Okay, so what is the problem with the
wedding?
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Oh, he wants to have a big, fancy
ceremony, and I just want to do it in a
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courthouse.
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But not the Van Nuys Courthouse.
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There's a judge there who thinks I'm in
a wheelchair.
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Benny, if I'm only going to do this
once, I want to do it right.
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I had my heart set on a proper church
wedding with a pastor and a fiddle band
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and my beloved dressed in white.
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You know, it's a little late for me to
be wearing white.
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It was almost too late for me to wear
white to my own confirmation.
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Grandma, you should have a big wedding.
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That's what I'm going to do.
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It's going to be on a cliff overlooking
the ocean at sunset.
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And as soon as I say I do, a hundred
white doves are going to go flying into
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air.
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No.
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Carmen, your wedding's going to be in
the backyard.
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The only thing flying is going to be
Aunt Sylvia.
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All drunk, she's going to come back from
the bathroom with her dress tucked in
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her pantyhose. May I look at her?
Anyone's looking at me.
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I still got it. They're jealous.
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Babe, I can only compromise so much. I
mean, you got to give me something here.
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Yeah, Mom, give him something.
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This guy loves you.
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He just wanted to spend the rest of his
life with you.
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He's seen you in the morning, Mom, and
he's still here. Honor that.
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00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:07,150
If anybody makes fun of what I'm about
to say, they're going to be picking up
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their teeth from the floor.
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00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:16,710
Randy, you know, I don't feel
comfortable showing my emotions in front
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people.
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But if you need for me to say I love
you...
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In front of the whole world, and you can
just invite the whole world to that
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wedding because I want you to be happy.
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Oh?
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00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:36,020
I warned you, sister. You may be hard
and crunchy on the outside, but
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I love your sweet nougat -y center.
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You know, a real wedding means someone
needs a real bridal shower.
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Forget the shower.
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Hey, if Randy is going to have a
bachelor party, I want a bachelorette
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If something's going to be shaking in
his face, I want something shaking in
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mine.
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00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,500
You're a lucky, lucky man.
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00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:09,440
Listen, about the bachelor party,
George, I don't want one like Benny's.
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clean, okay?
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I don't like having my car started if
I'm not going to drive it anywhere.
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I think it's so sweet that Randy wants a
clean bachelor party.
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00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:24,710
Are you kidding?
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When a guy comes to you and says he
wants a clean bachelor party, it's your
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to make it as wild and as nasty as
possible.
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00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:35,010
How wild and nasty are we talking?
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Well, come on. That's just not for me.
It's for Randy.
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You're the only one who starts my car,
baby.
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And sometimes I start it when you're out
of town to make sure it's still
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running.
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00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,700
So your mom's really tying the knot,
huh?
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00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,000
Where's she registered? The Museum of
Natural History?
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00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,740
That's a horrible thing to say, Gina.
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00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:21,079
Oh, but that's going to get a huge laugh
at the reception.
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00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,140
Hey, Ernie, you still coming to Randy's
bachelor party? I don't know, George.
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Those things are usually crude and
disgusting.
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If they're planned right.
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00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:33,500
Well, don't get your hopes up.
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Randy's serious about me keeping it
clean.
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00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,300
Well, then you got to make it funny.
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00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,960
Get him like an old lady stripper, you
know, as a joke.
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00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,880
That's the joke he's got to see every
night with my mom.
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00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,200
But you know what?
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00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,360
I like it. Yeah, now all we got to do is
find an older woman willing to take her
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00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,199
clothes off.
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I'll do it.
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00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,920
I don't know, Gina, are you sure you
want the guys from work to see you that
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way? Hey, I work out two hours a day. I
do yoga.
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00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:06,270
I didn't spend seven grand on laser
surgery not to prod it out every once in
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while.
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00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:12,970
I don't know, Jean. I mean, I'm your
manager. Are we crossing some kind of
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00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:13,970
here? Oh, look.
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00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,810
I'll do boots, bikini, and paste.
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00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,270
Oh, don't get hurt. Okay.
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00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:25,350
I'll call you with the details.
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00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,550
Hey, George.
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Who's finding out the house?
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00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,520
Look, somebody's hair grew back during
the coma.
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00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:42,840
Yeah, I just wish I could see it.
96
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,740
That accident left me a little blind.
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00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,340
Man, how bad is it?
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00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,560
Well, I know you're waving your hands in
front of my face.
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So you can see movement.
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00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,460
No, no, everyone does this.
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00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:03,180
I'm so sorry, Amy. No, no, no, it's
okay. The doctors aren't sure it's
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00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,280
permanent. They say the next 20 years
are just really crucial.
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00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,790
We don't abandon our own around here.
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00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:17,730
If you need someone to read you the want
ads out loud... Hey, just because I'm
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blind doesn't mean I can't do my old
job, okay?
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00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:24,790
All I did while I was in rehab was
visualize working on my machine.
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00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:28,510
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some
airplane parts to make.
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00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:54,770
my machine, huh?
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00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,210
No, it's me, Ernie.
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All right, everybody, back to work.
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00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:05,890
Hey, Amy, why don't we talk about your
job in my office, okay? Okay, well, let
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00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,270
me just put my backpack back in my
locker.
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00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,730
Randy, Randy?
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00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:15,550
Randy, can you, uh, can you help me back
to my locker?
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00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,890
How'd you know I was here?
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00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,290
Well, since I lost my sight, my senses
have been kind of heightened.
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00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,930
I smell you're chewing tobacco again.
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Someone in here is wearing way too much
collude.
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How have you been?
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Good. Sorry about your accident.
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I'm sorry about what happened before the
accident.
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Randy, I never should have broken up
with you.
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00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,840
Amy. Yes?
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00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:58,560
That was a long time ago.
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00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:03,080
I thought about you all the time. I
tried to call you, but I kept picking up
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00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,940
defibrillator, shocking myself in the
head. It was... Amy. Yes?
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00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,820
I'm sorry, but it's over.
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00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,420
But I don't want it to be over.
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00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,100
I still love you, Randall McGee.
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00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000
Hey, George, about the bachelor party
tonight?
131
00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:24,710
And 80 bucks to pay for the cake I'm
coming out of.
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00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:29,830
A cake? Isn't that a little old
-fashioned?
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00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:33,270
Oh, trust me. Once I pop out of that
cake, it's going to be boom.
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00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,809
Okay.
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00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:41,090
Do the cake, all right? But remember,
Randy's a nice guy.
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So nothing too extreme.
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00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:45,730
So no toys?
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00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:50,970
No, no.
139
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000
Okay,
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00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:10,340
look, what the hell was that? George, I
can explain.
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00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,320
Don't blame him. It is all my fault.
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00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,240
George, hey, can I cut out early to go
to my bachelorette party?
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00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:17,439
Okay, Mom.
144
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,500
Hey, but don't do anything you're going
to regret, okay? You're about to enter a
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00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,400
sacred bond based on trust.
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00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000
Oh.
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00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:29,660
Well, I was just going to put a few
singles in a fireman's G -string, but
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Yeah, I got myself a keeper.
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00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,130
Okay, who'd she swat? Who'd she swat?
150
00:09:42,370 --> 00:09:46,270
I didn't get a chance to tell you. Me
and Benny are engaged.
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00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:50,550
Why would she care?
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I didn't get a chance to tell you.
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Amy and I used to date.
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So?
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00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:00,530
Congratulate us, Amy.
156
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:03,510
Yeah.
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00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,700
Congratulations. Okay, well, um... I
gotta get back to work.
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00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:19,380
Doris.
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00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,280
Okay.
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00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,940
How come you never told me about her?
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00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,100
Because I didn't want you getting all
jealous over something that was ancient
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00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,970
history. I mean, come on, be fair. Have
you told me about all your exes?
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00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,990
I told you about the hitchhiker.
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00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,270
What hitchhiker?
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00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,930
All right, you know, I can't stand
around here jabbering all day. I got a
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00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:44,930
to go to.
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00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,270
Are we good here?
168
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:53,330
Yeah, I don't know.
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00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,240
I mean, it didn't look like ancient
history when you were making out with
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00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,860
the hall. George, I swear to God, Amy is
my past, and Benny's my future. I'm
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00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,860
marrying your mom.
172
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:05,420
Well, just remember, the last guy who
hurt my mom is dead.
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00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,300
I know your dad died of kidney disease,
George.
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Did he?
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00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,500
Why am I just that good?
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that for your grandma's bachelorette
party. If there's any left, I'll give it
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00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,250
back.
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00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:37,030
Oh, George, your mom's party is gonna be
great. We're gonna make her a wedding
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00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,370
dress out of toilet paper.
180
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:42,530
And then we're gonna play this game
where we pretend to be a famous first
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00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,350
and everyone has to guess who you are.
182
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:46,790
Here, guess who I am.
183
00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:49,650
Angie, I got a problem.
184
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,470
I caught Amy and Randy kissing today.
185
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,780
Does your mom know? No.
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00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:02,660
Randy says they used to date and she
kissed him and he swears that there's
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00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:03,660
nothing going on.
188
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,280
Well, what kind of kiss was it?
189
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,820
You ever seen my mom eat spare ribs?
190
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,080
Did he pull away?
191
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,440
Not until he saw me.
192
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:17,660
I can't believe Randy would do that to
your mom.
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00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,920
You gotta tell her.
194
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,260
Okay. Who am I?
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00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,980
I'm an... Angry short woman who just
killed her fiancé because her son told
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00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,400
about a kiss that might have been
totally innocent.
197
00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,960
Okay. Who am I?
198
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:36,940
I'm a bitter old woman trapped in a
loveless marriage because no one ever
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00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,240
me my husband still had feelings for
someone else.
200
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,460
Hillary Clinton.
201
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,300
We're not playing the game.
202
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:48,080
This is your mother's life.
203
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:51,020
Look, Angie, you don't think I know
that? I'm the one that talked her into
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00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,200
taking a chance on this guy.
205
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:54,980
He didn't pull away.
206
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:57,940
A long kiss means something.
207
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,180
Not necessarily.
208
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:10,340
You see?
209
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:11,780
Nothing.
210
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:28,940
You ladies really know me.
211
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:33,140
When is the entertainment coming?
212
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,020
Beef kebab?
213
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:39,320
Let's get this party started.
214
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:40,780
Why, yes.
215
00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:43,600
I would like a beef kebab.
216
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,900
Ma 'am, I've told you for the last hour.
I'm just a waiter here.
217
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,520
I'm the waiter. I'm waiting for those
pants to come off.
218
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,480
Randy doesn't care if I have a little
fun.
219
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,240
We trust each other.
220
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,220
He tells you everything?
221
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,600
Yep.
222
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,260
So, you know about Amy?
223
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,760
Oh, yeah.
224
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,300
It is what it is. It happened. It's
over.
225
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:23,160
Wow. Your fiancé kisses his ex
-girlfriend and you just let it go?
226
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,520
Really wrong, Benny.
227
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:26,380
What are you talking about?
228
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,120
Oh, God, George is going to kill me.
229
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,520
Not if you're dead already. Talk.
230
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,400
make it, man. Are you kidding? I
wouldn't miss this for the world.
231
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,760
Happy birthday, son.
232
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,020
This is my bachelor party.
233
00:14:55,540 --> 00:15:00,140
No, boss doesn't go to an employee's
bachelor party. Wouldn't be appropriate.
234
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:05,200
Boy, does the boss love him a down and
dirty birthday party.
235
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:08,980
Gentlemen,
236
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,340
it is time for the main event.
237
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:27,060
and grinding since the Cuban Missile
Crisis.
238
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,820
Joe, trust me, you might want to leave
those dirty.
239
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,520
She's not what you'd expect, but let's
give her a big round of applause
240
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:38,900
Please welcome to the stage the lovely
Gina La Cochina.
241
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,140
Okay,
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00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,320
this might be a blessing in disguise.
243
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:16,210
thinking amy this is the bachelor party
for the guy who's gonna marry my mom who
244
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:22,810
shouldn't even be here ernie take her
home but i'm gonna miss the show it's
245
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:29,490
oh that's true amy no no randy is making
a big mistake marrying benny look we
246
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:34,130
know that all right but he loves her and
it's his choice so let it go no can't
247
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:37,990
randy are you in here yeah i'm here
248
00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:44,029
Look at me.
249
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:48,170
I'm wearing the same red dress I wore
the first moment you ever told me you
250
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,170
loved me.
251
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:54,290
You can't give up all the things you
said you wanted when we were together.
252
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:57,330
You said you wanted family. You wanted
children.
253
00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:03,250
I'm ready to give that to you now. And
Benny, you said you wanted to grow old
254
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:07,450
together. Do you really want somebody
with that much of a head start, Randy?
255
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:17,650
The next sound you hear will be me
hitting you with a waffle iron!
256
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,390
Mom, back off!
257
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:23,290
Amy's leaving!
258
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:26,010
Not unless Randy tells me to.
259
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:29,370
Tell her, Randy.
260
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:34,710
Randy, tell her you're marrying my mom.
261
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:37,770
I do want kids.
262
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:45,900
Benny... I love you, but I need some
time to think.
263
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:52,920
Take all the time you want.
264
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,940
Take a chance on the guy.
265
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,020
Come over whenever you're ready.
266
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:23,780
Oh, and if the lights aren't on, that
doesn't mean I'm not home. I might just
267
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:24,780
reading.
268
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:37,500
Mad that I told her about the kiss?
269
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,480
No.
270
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,220
It's better that she found out now.
271
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,060
What are you going to say to her?
272
00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:48,510
Well, I'm going to tell that you'll find
somebody else.
273
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:55,070
I mean, Randy can't be the only guy
interested in a cranky, 50 -something,
274
00:18:55,070 --> 00:18:57,370
-smoking, factory worker. You know what?
I'm going to lie. Yeah.
275
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:03,110
How you doing?
276
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:06,050
Never better.
277
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:09,750
You know, you were right.
278
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,510
Randy is a jerk, Mom.
279
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,370
But that doesn't mean that there's not
somebody else out there for you.
280
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,890
They all turn out to be jerks.
281
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:23,830
I didn't learn one damn thing when your
father walked out on me.
282
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:30,170
You are the only man in my life who
hadn't totally disappointed me.
283
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,450
Really?
284
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:38,490
Don't get me wrong. You got your fault.
285
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,750
I mean, you're stubborn.
286
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:42,510
You spoil your kids.
287
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,800
You spend way too much freaking time on
your hair.
288
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,860
And you let your wife lead you around
like a mutt who's had his junk yanked.
289
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:53,860
right!
290
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:57,680
I'm glad you're feeling better, Mom.
291
00:19:58,960 --> 00:19:59,960
Good night.
292
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,840
You know, if they would help, I'd go sit
in a playpen with a...
293
00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:14,850
diaper on and you could yell, this is
all your fault, they hate you.
294
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:19,070
That's funny.
295
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,690
You thought that old aquarium was a
playpen.
296
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,470
Think of a party last night, George.
297
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:33,830
Well, I'm glad you had fun.
298
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,350
Well, I had fun, all right. I took the
party home with me.
299
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:38,370
I met a lady.
300
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,320
Congratulations. Don't need to hear any
more.
301
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:48,840
Yeah. I had a lot to drink. I don't
remember all the details, like her name
302
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,680
what she looked like or why there's a
clump of hair missing from my back.
303
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,880
Please stop.
304
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,340
He left us in my car.
305
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,400
Stallion.
24277
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