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1
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:05,520
What's Ricky doing here?
2
00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:09,760
You know he's not allowed in the house.
I know, but he needed a right to the
3
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,040
game. Mr. Lopez, can't you forgive me?
4
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,300
Forgive you?
5
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,180
You burned down my garage!
6
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,780
Do you know what's buried right there?
7
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:21,180
No.
8
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,080
My melted golf clubs.
9
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,160
My lucky putter.
10
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:32,479
I four -putted on 18 that day, and the
last thing I said to it was...
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00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:33,760
I hate you.
12
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:37,540
I said I'm sorry.
13
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,360
Why can't you accept my apology like
Mrs. Lopez?
14
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,940
Man, she only forgave you because you're
always telling her how pretty she is.
15
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,260
You're pretty too?
16
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:50,920
I didn't think you needed to hear that
from me.
17
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:55,900
Max, was Ricky in the house?
18
00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:01,900
No. Then why is there a bag of potato
chips and two empty juice boxes in the
19
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,760
sink? Because you left them there.
20
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,700
Mom said not to touch it until you
learned to clean up after yourself.
21
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,620
Okay, that sounds like something she
might say.
22
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,640
But I know he was in here.
23
00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:18,440
I can smell it.
24
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,000
What do you think?
25
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,280
Oh, thank God. I almost wore that same
outfit today.
26
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:35,300
Hey. I'm reffing in Mexico Soccer
League. I just aced the test.
27
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,500
Let me guess.
28
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:41,180
Question number one, would you be
willing to wear this uniform?
29
00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:45,380
Question number two, seriously, would
you wear this uniform?
30
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,960
Hey, make all the fun you want.
31
00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:49,260
But you know what?
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00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:50,340
I love kids.
33
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,460
I love the game. And you know, there's
some divorced soccer moms out there.
34
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,440
And my calves are my best feature. Watch
out.
35
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,400
I know. I wish I was that pair of black
socks right now.
36
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,080
Ricky!
37
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,280
You were in the house.
38
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,260
You shook up all the cans.
39
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:24,620
No, I didn't. Oh, yeah? Were you or were
you not in the house?
40
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,630
then you'll have to clean my room for a
whole month. No way!
41
00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:19,310
Okay. I'll do it.
42
00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:23,170
I'll even make your bed and fold that
pink flannel sheet back just the way you
43
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,170
like it.
44
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,470
Wait a second.
45
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:26,650
Have you been in my room?
46
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,690
No.
47
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:30,370
Unless you're down with it.
48
00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:35,370
Yes, I am down with it.
49
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,350
And when you're in my room, you know
what I want you to do?
50
00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:48,150
have told you that was coming.
51
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,279
coffee ground.
52
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,180
Oh, that's okay. I'll get another bag
for you. Well, why waste a bag? I mean,
53
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:34,120
gotta pour this hot bacon grease in
there.
54
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:36,560
It's really full.
55
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,120
Well, then I'll jump on it and squash it
down.
56
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:42,600
George,
57
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:48,000
how many times have I told you? Make
sure they're dead before you put them in
58
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000
the bag.
59
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:23,730
You did it this time, Mac.
60
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:26,190
You're grounded for sneaking Ricky in
the house.
61
00:05:26,550 --> 00:05:28,550
He's already grounded for skateboarding
in the house.
62
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:33,350
All right, then. No video games for a
month.
63
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,790
We took them away for eavesdropping on
the phone call.
64
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,990
Allowance. Took it away when they burned
down the garage.
65
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,130
Okay, you leave me no choice.
66
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:52,050
For the rest of the month, you're not
allowed to use your hand.
67
00:05:55,260 --> 00:06:00,440
Mom! You heard your father. Go to your
room and open the door with your mouth.
68
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,380
Get your hand off the rail.
69
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,220
Ricky, does your mother even know you're
here?
70
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,140
Yeah. I told her you said I could sleep
over.
71
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,720
Well, I'm going to call her and tell her
to come pick you up.
72
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:18,720
Listen, Mr. Lopez.
73
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,960
Wait.
74
00:06:21,479 --> 00:06:23,840
Okay, she's gone. Get back in the bag. I
don't trust you.
75
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,480
Huh? Did you think you could get away
with this?
76
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,700
This is my house, man, and no one spends
the night in my house without me
77
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:33,040
knowing it. I slept here last weekend,
too.
78
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,620
Yeah, well, you try it again and you'll
be sleeping in a dumpster with raccoons
79
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,660
gnawing off your face.
80
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:43,120
For the last time, son, get out of the
bag. It's dangerous.
81
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,060
I don't want anything to happen to you.
82
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,560
George, can I talk to you outside? Sure.
83
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,170
Are you okay, Care Bear?
84
00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:59,090
Is his mom coming to get him?
85
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:00,290
Yes.
86
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:01,770
In three days.
87
00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:03,810
What?
88
00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:07,470
George, she's going through a tough
time. She just broke up with her
89
00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:11,430
Ray. It's been really ugly. And Brenda,
the babysitter that they normally use,
90
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,770
is Ray's sister. So, of course, she's
taking his side and babysitting his
91
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:15,810
Sarah and Jessica.
92
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,830
None of this would have happened if
they'd just dated Montana.
93
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,100
You were on the phone 20 seconds.
94
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,340
I can't help it. I'm a listener.
95
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:32,180
And I hurt someone who needs our help.
96
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,380
They'll keep a bad influence on Max, and
I don't want him in the house.
97
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:39,200
Honey, just a couple of days. We'll
watch him like hawks.
98
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,340
I really think we should do this.
99
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,820
And I already told her we would.
100
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,100
All right.
101
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:52,470
Now I get to make one decision without
consulting you. No, I'm not wearing the
102
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:53,470
outfit again.
103
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,830
What's the big deal? It's only on for
like ten seconds.
104
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:03,650
No, you're getting too dependent on it.
105
00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:13,490
Ricky, I just talked to your mom, and
she's got a lot going on. So we're going
106
00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:15,190
to let you stay here for a couple more
days.
107
00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:17,830
You're going to let me stay in the
house?
108
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:22,690
Ricky, I'm a listener and I want to
help.
109
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:31,950
I know Jay's fighting with Susie, so
Shania, the babysitter, is watching Joe
110
00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:32,950
Montana's kids.
111
00:08:34,549 --> 00:08:37,850
What? Oh, who gives a crap? You're
sleeping in the dog's bed.
112
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:42,270
And I'm not dependent on it, okay? I
like it. I don't need it. I can quit
113
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,270
whenever I want.
114
00:08:48,589 --> 00:08:49,690
What are you doing by the door?
115
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,070
I'm making pancakes. You want some?
116
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:53,870
They taste great.
117
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:55,870
Yeah?
118
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:01,350
They're not that great.
119
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,290
Bet you can't cook that chicken that's
in the freezer.
120
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,470
I'll see what I can do.
121
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:15,510
Yeah, you see what you can do with those
little red potatoes and maybe a nice
122
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:16,510
salad.
123
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,640
I don't know. Surprise me.
124
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,060
It smells great.
125
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,220
I cook for my mom all the time.
126
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,640
Well, she's lucky to have you for a son.
127
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,320
How come you don't cook anything for me,
Matt?
128
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,580
Because I don't have to work for you,
love.
129
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,960
I mean, who's my competition?
130
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,400
Carmen? I don't think so.
131
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:56,710
That kid's up to something. I just don't
know what it is.
132
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:05,050
Ever since he got here, he's been
helpful and courteous. He even made us
133
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:07,110
breakfast. He's luring us in.
134
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:12,810
It's like when I stay up late at night
and put a little piece of cheese and
135
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:15,970
that first mouse shows up, I take out
that little hammer and BAM!
136
00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:21,290
I release him into the wild.
137
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:26,380
I gotta fill up before we get to work.
138
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,220
I'm headed out, too. I got a long day
ahead of me. Oh, big plans, Princess?
139
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:35,320
Yeah. It's La Marie's Community Service
Day. We're giving free makeovers to
140
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,040
homeless women to help them with their
self -esteem.
141
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,740
Oh, that's so nice.
142
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,920
You know, it's good to look your best
when you're having a shouting match with
143
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:43,920
lamppost.
144
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,500
Come on, Mom. What Angie does is
important.
145
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,660
Thank you. That's right. Wearing just
the right lipstick says I'm made out of
146
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:51,660
dumpster and...
147
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:54,310
Pee in the milk carton, but damn it, I'm
a pretty, pretty lady.
148
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,520
car keys are these?
149
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:36,660
My dad?
150
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:48,580
Oh, man, what happened?
151
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,500
I don't want to talk about it.
152
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,240
Oh, Ernie, don't tell me some lie about
how you fell again.
153
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,080
You know, sooner or later, you're going
to have to leave that man.
154
00:12:06,130 --> 00:12:10,210
Why? Last night, I make one close call,
and then all of a sudden, there's a mob
155
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,790
of angry parents in my face.
156
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,450
Next thing I know, I'm on the ground.
157
00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:18,250
Dude, some of those dads get crazy.
158
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:19,830
Well, actually, it was a soccer mom.
159
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:23,670
And she was pregnant, so I couldn't
punch her back.
160
00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:30,110
Hey, George, Max at school's on the
phone. They want to know if he's home
161
00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,190
He's not sick. I saw him leave this
morning.
162
00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:33,710
Well, he never showed up.
163
00:12:36,469 --> 00:12:37,469
I knew it.
164
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,250
What happened?
165
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:44,190
Oh, you see, I was reffing a soccer
game. Stop.
166
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:34,260
I love you, Dad.
167
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:36,900
Look, I want the truth.
168
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,440
Okay, here's what happened. We ditched
school, but it was lucky because two
169
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,180
gangbangers were still in your car. We
scared them away.
170
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:49,200
But when we were trying to put the car
back in the driveway, we crashed.
171
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,280
So I guess you're welcome, Mr. Lopez.
172
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,000
You, you're going back to school. We'll
deal with this tonight.
173
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,220
And you, you're out of here, man.
174
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,140
I'm taking you back to your mother.
175
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:04,680
Because that's the last time you're
going to see him.
176
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:06,580
Do you know you could have killed
someone?
177
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,620
Wow. Hey, your mom sits out here. What
if she was in that chair?
178
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,660
Don't try to cheer me up.
179
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:15,660
Hey,
180
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:20,840
you two wait here.
181
00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:23,060
I'm going to talk to his mom alone.
182
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,280
All right.
183
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,000
You know, I was a pretty stupid stunt
you two pulled.
184
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:38,960
He's pretty mad, Ricky.
185
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,280
Mad with my best friend.
186
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,180
Hey, you know what?
187
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,920
Once George cools down, I'll try and
talk to him, all right?
188
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,520
Thanks, Ernie.
189
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,500
You ever do anything like this when
you're a kid?
190
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,060
Actually,
191
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,020
yeah. One time, George and I broke into
school with a whole bunch of spray
192
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:07,280
paint, and we, uh... made a banner that
said, Learning.
193
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:28,320
You're not the usual delivery guy.
194
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,100
Where's my order?
195
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:35,720
No, I'm George Lopez. I brought Ricky
with me.
196
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:44,879
No, I'm Max's dad.
197
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:45,880
Ricky was staying with us.
198
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:50,380
Oh, you'll have to excuse me. I just
woke up.
199
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:54,380
Why don't you come in? I'm waiting for
some wine to be delivered.
200
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,280
You know it's 10 .30 in the morning.
201
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,100
It's the white wine.
202
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,100
Listen, I gotta talk to you about Ricky.
203
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:09,160
Oh, no, he's not here. I left him with
the nicest people.
204
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,740
You left him with me.
205
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:24,600
Great. I just broke up with my boyfriend
and I'm trying to get my life together.
206
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,360
Um, maybe I should call his dad. Can I
get his number?
207
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,640
Yeah. Not from me.
208
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,920
I have no idea where he is.
209
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:40,040
But if you find him, you tell that loser
that he owes me ten years worth of
210
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,040
child support.
211
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,420
Right.
212
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:48,440
Okay, look, maybe I should just take
Ricky back to school.
213
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,180
Now it's not a very good time for me.
214
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:04,720
If you want, you could stay with us for
a couple more days.
215
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:37,020
Take my boy into your house for a
216
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,720
while.
217
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:46,200
The angel is shutting the door.
218
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,460
Put your stuff in, Max.
219
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,680
I'll give you a hand.
220
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,460
No wonder he's so screwed up.
221
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,300
Look, I couldn't leave him there.
222
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,500
Look, I want him to stay with us for a
while.
223
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,320
Are you crazy?
224
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:40,000
We first the garage, then the fence?
225
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,420
He's getting closer to where we sleep,
George.
226
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,060
Angie, his dad walked out on him, too.
227
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,280
Honey, this isn't your life.
228
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,860
No, it might be worse.
229
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,840
I mean, my mom was rough, but at least
she wasn't a drunk.
230
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:59,460
Listen, you know I'm always the first to
help out.
231
00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:03,760
makeovers to 45 homeless women, and it
wasn't easy.
232
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:07,660
You try convincing a lady with leaves in
her hair that she is not an autumn.
233
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,060
So why can't we help Ricky?
234
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,220
Because we have to think about Max
first.
235
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:18,720
He's about to fail the fifth grade, and
Ricky is a bad influence on him. You
236
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:19,720
said so yourself.
237
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,560
I don't want him in our house.
238
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:26,500
Well, if he can't go home and he can't
stay here, I mean, what's he supposed to
239
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,540
do? Hey, what if he stays with me?
240
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,320
Oh, come on, Ernie. No!
241
00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:32,230
He can stay with me and my folks.
242
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:33,890
You serious?
243
00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:38,430
Yeah. You remember, my mom and dad used
to be foster parents, and I could get
244
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,050
certified while Ricky's staying with us.
245
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:43,650
But, dude, I mean, come on, taking on a
kid, isn't that going to cut into your
246
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:49,250
social... Well, what about climbing up
the corporate?
247
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:58,070
What if you meet a girl who... You know
what? You can take my kids, too.
248
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:01,740
This is going to work, George.
249
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,720
It can actually make a difference in
someone's life.
250
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,400
You know, Ernie's parents do have plenty
of room.
251
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,300
I mean, they even have that panel
basement downstairs. When Ernie tried to
252
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,220
his own cable access show, it's me,
Ernie.
253
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,120
You know, I'm going to go talk to Ricky.
254
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,960
What are you going to do if he drives a
car through your fence?
255
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,200
George, my dad's 75.
256
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,680
He does that once a week.
257
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,030
reading.
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