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00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,420
Okay, I'm here. Have you found Carmen
yet? No, and I'm worried sick. It's her
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first day at a new school. She should
have been home an hour ago.
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Come on, it's an hour.
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00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,380
She's got no money. She's got no
friends.
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00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,860
She's probably walking around the mall
crying.
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George, she's the new kid in class.
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She's probably depressed.
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She should be here at home where we can
support her. Okay, let's say she did
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have a bad day.
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The worst day of her life. She's going
to come home. She's going to tell us all
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her worries and all her fears. Isn't it
better to let the hot dog on the stick
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people deal with the first five minutes
of school hair, boys? Nobody likes.
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00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,060
Dad, how come you're home?
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00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,260
Your mom's worried that Carmen's not
going to make any friends at Allendale
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the kids are going to harass her like at
her old school.
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00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,880
What if all the kids liked her and
everything went great?
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You know, you could have called.
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00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:08,180
Who's this?
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Everyone, this is my new friend, Olivia.
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Hey, we can see this one.
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Max, be quiet.
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Carmen has a new friend.
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A friend, George.
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A new friend.
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I had the best day. I mean, I know it's
going to be tough to catch up, but at
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least I met Olivia.
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She's starting mid -semester, too.
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So what are you in for?
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What do you mean?
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Look, you've changed schools in the
middle of the year.
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I mean, it's okay, we don't judge, but
what is it, you know, Tweaker, Klepto?
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You got a bun in the oven?
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No, I'm from Toronto.
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Like I said, we don't judge.
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Hi, I'm Matt. Can I get you something to
drink?
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What are you doing?
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She's a guest.
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I'll cook you things. You smell good.
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I bet bees chase you.
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You're so cute.
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How old are you?
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See all these teeth?
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Permanent.
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Okay, Olivia, why don't we go start
studying? My room is the first one to
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left. Okay.
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I better start my homework, too.
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I did it, Angie.
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I did it.
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I tuned her out.
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After all these years of practicing,
quick, say something to me.
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That's not funny.
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What?
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Yes!
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Carson City is the capital of Nevada.
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Concord is the capital of New Hampshire.
And Trenton is the capital of New
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Jersey.
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00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:07,790
Give me your cell phone number so we can
text message each other in class.
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I'm not allowed to have a cell phone.
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What if someone tried to kidnap you or
something?
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00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:15,130
Well, my dad says his taxes pay for the
Amber Alerts.
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Oh, my
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God. Did you see that boy Matt who came
into homeroom? Oh, my God. He's a full
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-on dime.
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Oh, forget it.
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00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,160
Do you have a shirt I can borrow?
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I want to get out of this uniform.
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Yeah, sure, no problem.
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00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,240
Here,
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00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,080
try this.
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00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,100
So, what do you think of my little
brother?
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Oh, he's adorable.
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Yeah, too bad about his eye.
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What's wrong with his eye?
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of perfume.
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That's not true.
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Then why are you covering your eye?
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I'm just crying because I'm upset about
being accused.
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00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,330
Yeah, but you're only crying out of one
eye.
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00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,010
I'm not that upset.
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I'm not lying, okay? The people have got
to be on that wall somewhere.
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See? There it is.
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Okay, Carmen, relax. You probably can't
even see anything through it. Oh, hey,
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Olivia.
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Who's that?
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00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,490
Uh, it's Mr. Lopez.
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00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,380
I was just wondering if you wanted to
stay for dinner?
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00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:08,440
Sure, but I'm a vegetarian.
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00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,700
Well, we'll see what we can do, all
right?
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00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,300
You little freak, I can't believe you're
peeking at me through a hole.
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00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:18,580
I never peeked at you.
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00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,380
That's not what the hole was for.
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00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,619
Then what was it for?
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00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:24,200
I put my butt up against it so I could
gas you out.
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00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,000
You could have told me that before I put
my eye up there.
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00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,140
Max, what did you see?
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Nothing. Okay, you know this is wrong,
right?
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00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:39,460
Okay, go wash out your eye.
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00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:41,460
That's it?
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00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:48,460
Go wash your eye out? Look, Carmen, Max
doesn't know any better. He's a little
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boy. But you could have blinded him. Who
knows what's in that fruity teen
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00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:52,820
perfume you wear?
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00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,660
Don't test these on animals anymore. We
don't know if they're safe.
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00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,780
Yeah, well, I wish I would have blinded
him. That way he wouldn't...
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peek anymore, would he? Okay, that's it.
Nobody hurts anybody in this house. No
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00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,940
telephone for you for a week. What? You
heard me. He was looking at my friend
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00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:08,000
getting undressed, and you're punishing
me? That's crazy.
107
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,660
Okay, you want more punishment? Keep
talking.
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00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:12,560
Oh, yeah, defend the little perv. What
is going on?
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Max tried to steal Olivia naked, and
Dad's punishing me.
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Some man you married.
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00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,460
Your daughter's freaking out. Max made a
little peephole in the wall, but he
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didn't see anything. I handled it. What
did you think?
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I told him it was wrong.
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Well, I hope you all... told him it was
completely out of line and unacceptable
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behavior and that peeking at someone is
a violation of their privacy and shows a
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total lack of respect yeah like that but
stronger
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come on Angie look don't make this
bigger than it is okay
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you're not a boy you wouldn't understand
he's starting to get curious I did the
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same thing when I was his age Ernie's
mom
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Oh, my God, she's a big woman.
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00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:04,580
You know, I saw one boob through one
window and one boob through the other
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window.
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Max is growing up.
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You'll soon understand why it's okay
that anacorna COVID never wins.
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You know, it's about time.
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Hey, what happened?
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Oh, Max got caught sneaking a look at
one of Carmen's friends.
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Oh, man, I didn't see my first naked
woman until I was 18.
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And the first one that was awake until I
was 30.
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00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:14,880
You know, I caught George peeking at a
woman when he was around Max's age. You
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remember that, George?
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Ernie'd like to hear that story.
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No,
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he wouldn't, Mom.
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George, I forget. Who was that again?
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You know, I don't remember. Back to
work, Mom.
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00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:32,700
Oh, man, was it that Super Fox Sylvia
from across the street?
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00:08:33,299 --> 00:08:34,799
No, but it was a form of wildlife.
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Well, who was it?
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Your mom.
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Ernie, I wasn't trying to, man. Who
watches TV naked after a shower?
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She likes to air dry.
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00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:03,970
Look, to even things up, I'll let you
look at my mom naked.
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00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:16,050
So you want pictures or the real thing?
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What hospital is he at?
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I'll be right there.
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What is it?
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They're taking Max to the hospital. He
got into a fight at school.
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A fight, too?
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00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:36,910
Wow, when that kid's web will drop, it's
like thunder.
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00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:47,850
Oh, man, Max, are you okay? He fell and
hit his head. They put ten stitches in,
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but there's no fracture or concussion.
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I got into a fight with five guys.
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You should have seen them, Dad. They
were scared.
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Yeah? You put up a good fight?
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00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:59,890
No. When I saw all the blood coming out
of my head, they were scared.
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00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:05,810
This is why those boys were picking on
him. Somebody put up a picture of Max
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sleeping on the current events board at
his school.
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00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:13,550
You fight with guys, you peep on girls,
you sleep in your underwear with that
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little pink bunny.
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You're a complex little man, Max.
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I didn't sleep with the bunny.
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Carmen put it there.
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00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:27,330
Dad, everyone at school saw that
picture. I'm gonna kill her. Max,
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00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:31,330
No, I'm really gonna kill her. And
Grandma told me how to make it look like
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accident.
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00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,330
You're not killing anyone.
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And now you know how it feels to have
your privacy invaded.
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00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,050
Max, I got you some pudding from the
cafeteria.
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Okay, come here.
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Look, this is the worst thing you've
ever done. Your brother's in a hospital
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with stitches in his head because of
you. I just wanted to teach him a
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didn't know he'd get hurt. Look, I'm not
worried about his head. That'll heal.
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00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:05,690
But nobody's ever going to forget that
picture.
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00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,910
Every time he walks down the hall in
school, they're going to be calling him
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sissy and a wolf and a bunny hugger.
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I can hear you.
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00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,290
Maybe you didn't understand me when I
said nobody hurts anybody in this
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so let me make it clearer.
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00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:24,400
Okay, no phone, no email, and no TV for
a month. But I'm getting more
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00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,660
punishments? Why do I even talk to you?
Always take Max aside. He's the golden
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child.
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00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:33,060
Hey, don't walk away from me. Why? You
don't need me. You've got Max.
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You love him more than you love me
anyway.
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00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,240
We really are better off without him.
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00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,430
Carmen, home yet? No.
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00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:00,330
Hey, Matt, is your head okay?
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00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:04,150
How many beers am I holding up, honey?
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00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,070
Honey, you never called me honey.
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00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,610
Well, you should have been cuter.
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00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:13,910
Carmen.
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00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:16,970
Oh, what's going on?
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00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,270
Nothing, Benny.
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00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,030
Dad loves me more than Carmen.
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00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:21,670
Max, that's not true.
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00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,720
Give us some privacy. I need to talk to
George. All right.
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00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:35,260
Angie, I know where you're going on
this, and I want you to know that I am
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00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:36,260
your side.
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00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:37,800
Thank you.
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00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,100
Then you can stay.
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00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,300
As for you, mister... Look at Angie.
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00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,740
I know where you're going with this, and
I want you to know that I'm on your
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00:12:58,740 --> 00:12:59,940
side, too, so let's eat quietly.
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00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:04,840
I just had a long talk with Carmen.
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00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,520
I think you're being completely unfair
with her.
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00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,900
Man, she wraps you around her little
finger.
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00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,840
She can't do that to me, because I don't
buy into all that drama.
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00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:15,980
That's not drama, George. Those are her
real feelings.
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00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:17,800
But every day?
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00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,200
Who feels every day?
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00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,020
10 -year -old boy without a care in the
world, of course you like him better. So
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00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:29,020
you do, too?
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00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:32,180
Now we can say it out loud. Make that
three. No!
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00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:40,020
It's just that he's easier right now. I
know she's a handful, but you can't
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00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,980
dismiss all her problems as teenage
drama.
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00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,800
You have two kids. You should be
treating them equally.
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00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,400
Hey, I do treat them equally. No, you
don't. See?
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00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,940
You treat the boy better.
219
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,600
But, you know, Carmen's got to get used
to it.
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00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:01,060
I get really screwed in this world. I
cannot tell you how much easier my life
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00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:04,020
would have been if I had had something
dangling between my legs.
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00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,660
That's a pretty image of my mommy.
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00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,620
Do you see this insanity?
224
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,460
Crazy apple, crazy tree.
225
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,240
Look, if your point is that I'm crazy
because of my mother, I know that.
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00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,890
T -shirt, I'll wear it. He thought I
don't care.
227
00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:33,150
I'm also saying that your daughter
doesn't feel as loved as your son. I see
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00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,030
Benny sees it. Even Mac sees it.
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00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,130
You might want to do something about
that.
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00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:39,790
Oh, man.
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00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,610
Hey, it's not your fault.
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00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,890
It's the way it's been through all
history.
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00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:48,350
Men are the warriors, the hunters, the
money earners.
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00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:51,330
That's why boys are treated like
princes.
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00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,510
What are you talking about, you crazy
old bat?
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00:14:58,540 --> 00:14:59,580
You ever treated me like a prince?
237
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,020
Hey, did you eat every day?
238
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:04,580
No.
239
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,560
Well, what do you know?
240
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:18,580
You know what? At least I didn't sell
you. And there was a lady at Pick and
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00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:19,580
who kept asking.
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00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,780
Wait, what Pick and Save? Maybe it's not
too late.
243
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,720
Am I coming back?
244
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:42,960
As long as you're a tax deduction,
you'll always be safe in my house.
245
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:54,880
Where are we going?
246
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:56,960
I just want to talk.
247
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,060
The first thing I want to say is I
should have punished Max a lot more than
248
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,060
did.
249
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,740
Well, I should call the newspaper.
George Lopez admits he's wrong.
250
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:10,260
You don't. You don't.
251
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:16,920
Look, maybe I went easier on Max because
I know why he peeped.
252
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,080
I mean, I was a boy. I get that.
253
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:20,620
But I don't get you anymore.
254
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,680
I did when you were a little girl.
255
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:26,600
Because you were just like a little boy,
except you never got caught in your
256
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,600
zipper.
257
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,220
Well, I'm not a little boy or a little
girl anymore.
258
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,510
I'd like some privacy and I'd like some
respect.
259
00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:35,830
That's fair.
260
00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:37,950
And I'd like my feelings listened to.
261
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:40,130
Ew, that's a tough one.
262
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:42,150
Why?
263
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:46,470
Because everything's a crisis with you.
There are no small problems.
264
00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:48,850
I'm on overload, Carmen.
265
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:52,290
And I thought teenagers were supposed to
lock themselves in their rooms and
266
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:53,310
never talk to their parents.
267
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:55,070
I'm kind of looking forward to that.
268
00:16:57,670 --> 00:16:59,410
Well, I'm sorry I tell you all my
problems.
269
00:16:59,790 --> 00:17:00,790
No, you shouldn't be.
270
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:03,300
I need to get better at this.
271
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:07,800
Look, I promise to start listening to
your feelings if you promise not to have
272
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,800
so many of them.
273
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,260
Deal.
274
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,560
And don't ever think I love Max more
than I love you.
275
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,060
Because that's not right.
276
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,500
Okay.
277
00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:25,599
We're crying.
278
00:17:31,370 --> 00:17:33,850
I got you the cell phone to make up for
everything. Stop crying.
279
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:39,650
Oh, my God. It's a cell phone.
280
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:46,490
Hey, what are you looking at?
281
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:48,130
We're feeling in here.
282
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:52,150
Go, man. The light's green.
283
00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,270
What are you wearing? Show!
284
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:11,690
George, I don't want you to talk like
that with Carmen in the car.
285
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,750
All right, we'll be home in a little
bit.
286
00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:16,090
Hey, make sure you lock up.
287
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,090
I heard on the radio there's a guy
breaking into people's houses.
288
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:22,010
Is he in our area?
289
00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,130
Yes.
290
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,350
Damn you!
291
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:31,730
What's wrong?
292
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:33,950
You look like you've been caught.
293
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,180
Yeah, because I missed you so much.
294
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,080
Oh, you're such a good liar.
295
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,020
Angie, do you think the kids have
favorites?
296
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,740
No. I think they love us both equally.
297
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:54,559
Hey, Max.
298
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,560
Hey, Dad.
299
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:56,900
Answer a question for us.
300
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,820
Your mom and I are both drowning and
there's only one life preserver. Two
301
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:07,380
love you both.
302
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,520
bucks from your dad, I'll just do it.
23751
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