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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:06,480 Hey, Angie, great Valentine's Day mixer. Well, I didn't want anybody to be alone 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,860 today, so I thought why not invite all the single people from the factory over 3 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:10,499 to the house? 4 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,740 Yeah. Oh, by the way, you forgot to put on the guacamole and the women. 5 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:19,200 Oh, no, Angie, we left a bag of women on top of the car when we left the store. 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,120 We're probably all over the freeway by now. 7 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,420 Oh, here come the girls. 8 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,720 Let's get this party started. 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,040 There's nothing here. 10 00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:38,340 Well, great party. Thanks for coming by, guys. 11 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:43,200 You know what? We can still have a Valentine's party without women. I know 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,040 ways to make you forget about being single. Boggle, Pictionary, and Trivial 13 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,040 Pursuit. 14 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:49,740 Guys, run! 15 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:54,340 Whenever you have to go to see a woman at a bar, a strip club, a Mommy and Me 16 00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,520 class, just get out! 17 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,020 Honey, the guy's left. 18 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,879 No. 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:10,520 Look, I know the party's a bust, but that means we can start our Valentine's 20 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:11,560 earlier. Oh. 21 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,120 I'll clean up, because I ain't going home. No way. 22 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,500 It's the one time a year my parents get romantic. 23 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,560 It takes all day, and it ends up with my dad drunk and crying and my mom playing 24 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,560 the accordion. 25 00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,760 Take five, homeboy. We're doing our Valentine's gifts. 26 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,900 Bounce. Oh, wait. I got to get mine. 27 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,300 Happy Valentine's Day. 28 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,700 Oh, happy Valentine's Day, baby. 29 00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:54,040 Oh, Angie, this is amazing. 30 00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:56,620 But you know, I wanted a humidor. 31 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,960 See? I had it engraved. 32 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:04,820 To my heart, my soul, my ending, my beginning. 33 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,300 It's beautiful. 34 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,420 I hope you like what I got you. 35 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,140 Oh. 36 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,140 A hat. 37 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,040 It's for when you go. 38 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,280 See, it's got a solar -powered fan on it. 39 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:31,460 Yes, it does. 40 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,280 Try it on. 41 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,460 How do I look? 42 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,540 Mom, will you be my Valentine? 43 00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:49,180 Suck up. 44 00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:01,550 You got the ones with my birthstones? 45 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:02,890 Uh -huh. 46 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,450 Garnet. 47 00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:08,410 What is with the hat? 48 00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:09,990 What is with that sweater? 49 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,750 Your father got me a gardening hat for Valentine's Day. 50 00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:20,310 Oh, I get it. The real present is buried in the garden. I bet it's those 51 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,630 earrings with your birthstones you kept hinting about. 52 00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:25,150 Some people get hints. 53 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,430 Some people don't. 54 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:40,100 Because I might be getting that for someone special on her 16th birthday. 55 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,700 George. 56 00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:48,620 Kids, your father works really hard. He doesn't have a lot of time to shop. 57 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,900 But he is the most romantic man that I know. 58 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,420 George, I think they're old enough now. 59 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,960 Come on, Angie. That's just between us. 60 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,300 Is it dirty? 61 00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:01,860 I want to see it. 62 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,660 It's not dirty. 63 00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:06,900 But... 64 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,820 I think you kids can handle it. 65 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:11,420 Okay. 66 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,320 It was the end of our first date. 67 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:19,339 I asked your father to the Sadie Hawkins dance, and it was really late, and I 68 00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:26,020 was ready to go home. But he said that he wanted to show me something special. 69 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:31,220 What could be more special than this giant corsage? 70 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:32,800 In fact... 71 00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:37,410 If you take me home right now, I'll plan it, and the tree will always remind me 72 00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,410 of our one date. 73 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:46,110 Behold! My monument to a full -on fox! 74 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:48,750 Who's that? 75 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,550 That's you. 76 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,470 I painted it for you. 77 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:55,570 Oh, my God. 78 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,050 It is me. 79 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,760 You captured my body part. Perfectly. 80 00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,260 You painted this? 81 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,760 Yeah. 82 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,140 For me? 83 00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,020 See? 84 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:11,540 G. Lopez. 85 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,040 George, it's beautiful. 86 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,420 Still not as beautiful as you are. 87 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,020 Come on. I'll take you home. 88 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,240 Wait. 89 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,880 There's no hurry. 90 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:43,740 And that was the moment I fell in love with your father. 91 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:49,400 It is the most romantic gesture ever. 92 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,300 How could I even look at another man after that? 93 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,360 Beat that, little Romeo. 94 00:06:01,510 --> 00:06:02,730 So, how did you like her hat? 95 00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,450 She wasn't crazy about it. 96 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,870 Every year I try to get her the right thing, but I'm just not good at the gift 97 00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:09,750 stuff. So, you in the doghouse now? 98 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,210 Oh, dude, please. 99 00:06:11,630 --> 00:06:12,630 I still got the mural. 100 00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:17,610 Hey, I wonder if the guy who really painted it has gotten as much mileage 101 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,610 it as you have. 102 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:21,730 Come on, man. What's wrong with you? 103 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,890 So, where are we going to dinner tonight? 104 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,430 I don't know. Where do you want to go? 105 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:29,790 It's Valentine's Day. 106 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,680 You didn't make a reservation? 107 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,840 No. 108 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,720 But I made the mural. 109 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,480 Yes, you did. 110 00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,309 Impressive, huh? 111 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:21,190 Wow. Let's go out and see it. Yeah, let's get out and stare at the top of 112 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,190 mom's butt. 113 00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,150 What's going on with all this construction? 114 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,410 It's probably like Stonehenge. 115 00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:30,230 You know, you want to keep it open, but sooner or later you have to protect it. 116 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:32,270 Let's see what's going on. 117 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,710 That doesn't look like mom. 118 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,290 Oh, Max, it's my interpretation. 119 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:43,610 You see, when a man really cares about a woman... He thinks her breasts are 120 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:44,610 enormous. 121 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:52,630 What are you talking about? 122 00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:54,170 That's me! 123 00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:58,790 Yeah, right. 124 00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,990 Listen, my husband is the artist. 125 00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:08,010 When you tear down the wall, can you at least save me the part where he signed 126 00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:12,490 it? I'll try, but this is stucco. It crumbles. I may not get the whole 127 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,230 signature, Chato Perez. 128 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,530 Who's Chato Perez? 129 00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:19,930 The guy who painted this. The signature's over there in the leaf. 130 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,600 The artist is G. Lopez. It's right there in the corner. 131 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,360 Nah, Taggart did that. 132 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,100 It's graffiti. 133 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,300 It's spray paint. 134 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:35,919 I 135 00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:43,179 can 136 00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:47,880 see why you'd buy it, though. He looks like he's got the soul of an artist. 137 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,460 Looks like they're tearing down the mural, aren't you? 138 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,680 Mm -hmm. 139 00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,760 I could tell. 140 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,660 You hardly touched your dinner. 141 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,840 But look, they're tearing it down, so what can we do? 142 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,760 I don't know. 143 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,240 You could repaint it. 144 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:10,540 On another building? 145 00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:13,100 And then in another 18 years they can tear it down? 146 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,760 I don't think I could go through this again. 147 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,300 I know. 148 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,280 You can sketch it for me on a piece of paper. 149 00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,770 It's not going to be right on a little piece of paper. I need a whole building 150 00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,910 to show you how I feel. 151 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:40,330 Kids, why don't you go on up to bed? 152 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:46,930 Sending the kids up to bed early. 153 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:50,230 I guess seeing the mural put us both in the same mood. 154 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:51,990 Honey. 155 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:55,890 Yeah? 156 00:09:56,670 --> 00:10:01,130 I want you to go upstairs and get into bed. 157 00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:03,410 Yeah? 158 00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,910 Then close your eyes. 159 00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:08,830 Yeah. 160 00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:14,110 And swallow a handful of sleeping pills. 161 00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:17,830 Wow. Then what are you going to do? 162 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:24,310 Have sex with Chato Perez, the man who painted my mural. 163 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:27,350 What are you talking about? I know. 164 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,040 worker told me. Oh, Angie, please. I can explain. 165 00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:37,160 I'm listening. Not now. I need some time. 166 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,180 You didn't paint that mural, did you? 167 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:44,740 Not all of it. 168 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,780 Well, what part did you paint? 169 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:48,880 The butt crack. 170 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,880 Your butt had no crack before I came along. 171 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,000 God. It was just one big cheek. 172 00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:04,820 No, what's not right is that my husband has been lying to me for the last 18 173 00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:05,820 years. 174 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,720 Look, I couldn't believe a girl like you would go out with me in the first 175 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,720 place. 176 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,180 You were so out of my league. 177 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:15,560 And I was afraid if I didn't come up with something big to win you over that 178 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,740 night, I'd never see you again. 179 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,840 You know, I'm not good with this romance stuff. 180 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,260 My mom told me being romantic was sticking around for the birth. 181 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:32,760 was desperate. Then I saw the mural and it kind of looked like you. This means 182 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,120 that the moment I fell in love with you was a lie. 183 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,300 Angie, baby, I'm okay with that. 184 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:40,600 Good 185 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:50,440 morning, 186 00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:51,540 Chato. 187 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:53,700 She told you? 188 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,280 Dad, here's a tip. 189 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,300 Don't bite in the kitchen. 190 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,500 Under the vent. 191 00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:03,670 Hey, is Mom up yet? 192 00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:05,530 I think she's in the shower. 193 00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:09,050 Or maybe she's just crying so much it sounds like the shower. 194 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:14,630 What are you doing? 195 00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:16,870 I don't want you taking credit for any of these. 196 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,490 Sit down, my love. 197 00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:27,870 I wanted to make you breakfast in bed, but you accidentally locked the door and 198 00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:28,930 put the dresser in front of it. 199 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,580 Heart -shaped pancakes, heart -shaped ham steak, heart -shaped omelet. 200 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,180 Hey, 201 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:43,640 you're breaking all my heart. 202 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:46,920 Hey, Ange. Hey, George. 203 00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,420 Now's not a good time, dude. 204 00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:52,380 Oh, I guess somebody's still celebrating Valentine's Day, huh? 205 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,840 Man, somebody was feeling romantic last night. That painting on the garage is 206 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:57,479 pretty good. 207 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,480 What painting? 208 00:12:58,580 --> 00:12:59,580 That painting of you. 209 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,560 What did you do? 210 00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:14,160 Ernie, what did I do? Trust me. Come on. 211 00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:20,440 Yeah, I gotta say, George, you did a good job on this. 212 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,260 You painted this? 213 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:24,739 He sure did. 214 00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,740 Do you like it? 215 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,040 It's not great. 216 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,860 Since you painted it, it means something to me. 217 00:13:37,619 --> 00:13:39,420 Baby, I just want you to forgive me. 218 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,640 Marisol, what are you doing here? 219 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,240 I gotta talk to Ernie. 220 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,560 There was a problem with that thing you gave me. 221 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,760 I counted it in the car, and it was 50 things short. 222 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,320 Marisol, is that paint on your hands? 223 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,540 I don't know. 224 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,200 Is that paint on my hands, or am I getting my 50 things? 225 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,240 George, you didn't paint this. 226 00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:06,580 Marisol did, and Ernie paid her for it. Not yet. 227 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,440 Ernie just sprang it on me. Angie, I didn't know anything about it until I 228 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,940 walked out and I saw it. Then why did you say it was yours? 229 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,680 I just went with it. 230 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,180 You lied to me again. 231 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,040 Angie, this is my fault. George called me last night and he felt terrible. 232 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:23,980 No, it's mine. 233 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:28,340 I should have just told you I didn't do it. But I panicked. 234 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,880 Angie, I can't stand you being mad at me. I'm not mad anymore. 235 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,660 I'm more disappointed. 236 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,240 In all our time together, I never lied to you. 237 00:14:38,650 --> 00:14:39,650 Never. 238 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:46,870 I'm sorry, George. 239 00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:50,050 I didn't know Marisol was coming back. 240 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:55,850 I tried to paint it myself, but halfway through it started looking like a monkey 241 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:56,850 with boobs. 242 00:14:57,210 --> 00:15:00,010 I know one monkey with boobs that owes me some money. 243 00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:04,470 Oh, yeah? Well, get it from Mariah Carey, because that's who you painted. 244 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,740 What am I going to do, man? From now on, Angie's going to think everything I 245 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:13,800 tell her is a big lie. 246 00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:17,000 She'll get over it. Man, she's never going to trust me. Never. 247 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:18,700 Hey, I wouldn't say never. 248 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:21,320 And she shouldn't say never either. 249 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:22,880 What are you talking about? 250 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:28,740 Well, I didn't want to tell you this because I really love Angie, but she 251 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:29,740 to you, man. 252 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:31,160 She told you a big lie. 253 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,640 One of the kids isn't mine? 254 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,500 Is it Carmen? 255 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:38,780 No. 256 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,220 Now, remember the Sadie Hawkins dance? Your first date with Angie? 257 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:44,920 There was a reason we were both assed out. 258 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,500 George! 259 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,620 I got a G in chemistry! 260 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:56,500 What'd you get? 261 00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:58,800 Dude, who cares what we get in chemistry? 262 00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:03,450 We're not a play instrument to rap music and sing, and our band Sabotage takes 263 00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:04,450 off. We're out of here. 264 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:05,770 Shut up! 265 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:11,270 George, George, we're being watched. 266 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,330 We're being checked out. 267 00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:18,650 Hey, hey, they're coming over. What do we do? Be cool. 268 00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:20,710 Take your hand out of my belt loop. 269 00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:28,150 Hey there, um, this is Carla, and I'm Angie. I know. 270 00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:31,070 I see you at the games cheering. 271 00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:33,870 I love your work. 272 00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:39,550 So, are you guys going to the Sadie Hawkins dance? 273 00:16:39,930 --> 00:16:40,930 Dance at Suck. 274 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,750 Then, um, you wouldn't want to go with us? 275 00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:45,370 Did I say Suck? 276 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:46,810 I meant rock! 277 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,970 Well, okay then. It's a date. 278 00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:53,890 So do I get to be with you? 279 00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:55,750 Hey, hey, let the ladies decide. 280 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,399 Take that one. 281 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,260 And that one. 282 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,040 Okay, then. 283 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,680 We'll meet you outside the dance at 7 .30. 284 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,160 Oh, my God. They're so pathetic. 285 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,500 Oh, I don't know if I can go through with this. Everybody's going to see me 286 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,079 him. Hey, it's a dog fight. 287 00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:24,920 You want to be the only cheerleaders who don't show up with losers? 288 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,000 No. And with these two, we've got a chance to win. 289 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,460 Totally. 290 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,040 She felt guilty. 291 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,500 She said I was probably a human being and deserved to be treated like one. 292 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,380 So how come you never told me? 293 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,360 Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 294 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,220 Besides, you and Angie fell in love. It worked out great. 295 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,520 You know what this means. 296 00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:58,680 I undermined the very foundation of your relationship. 297 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,020 No! She lied first! 298 00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:07,320 What are you doing? 299 00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:10,060 I'm in a chat room complaining about men. 300 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:12,970 LesbianTownHall .com. 301 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:16,410 Is anybody defending me? 302 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:20,890 Yes. The 13 -year -old boy pretending to be a lesbian thinks you're cool. 303 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,290 Everybody else suggests counseling. 304 00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:26,530 You know what? That's a good idea. 305 00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:29,150 Really? Yeah. 306 00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:33,210 I mean, when your relationship starts out with a lie, it makes you question 307 00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:34,210 everything afterwards. 308 00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:35,590 Sure does. 309 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:39,470 And the person who lied first, oh, man. 310 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,940 How can they ever, ever come back from that? 311 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,900 I don't know, George. 312 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:51,540 Hey, why don't you see if you can find a counselor who specializes in nasty 313 00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:54,180 cheerleaders who make bets about going to dances with losers? 314 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,180 What? I know! 315 00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:06,900 Carla told Ernie, and Ernie told me, and doing this hurts my voice, but... 316 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:16,300 18 years ago when I was a teenager, a stupid cheerleader. I didn't know what I 317 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,019 was doing. 318 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,900 So I was just a big joke to you? No. 319 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,240 Are you denying I was a loser? No. 320 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,180 Then I got to know you. 321 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,620 So what else did you bet on? What about the first night we made love? What were 322 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:29,620 the odds in Vegas? 323 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,820 Well, let's step away from the vent. 324 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,380 Well, I wouldn't be so high and mighty. You lied to me, too. 325 00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:45,710 Twice. My lie was because I wanted you. Your lie was to cover up your evilness. 326 00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:52,210 Evilness? If I hadn't done that, we would have never got together in the 327 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:55,490 place. And if I hadn't done what I did, we wouldn't have gotten together either. 328 00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:57,970 So our love is built on lies. 329 00:19:58,390 --> 00:19:59,650 Yes, it is. 330 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:05,190 Our love is built on wonderful, beautiful lies. 331 00:20:07,150 --> 00:20:10,310 I'm proud of those lies. Those lies have led to a great marriage, two beautiful 332 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,990 kids, and this killer crib. 333 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:16,550 Come on, Angie. 334 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:21,850 I'll tell you one thing I never lied about. 335 00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,810 I love you. 336 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,050 And I love you, too. 337 00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:35,430 Let me tell you something, mister. 338 00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:42,980 Now that you've lost your mural, you are so on the hook for 339 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:48,080 Valentine's Day, my birthday, Mother's Day, and our anniversary. 340 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,620 You got it, baby. 341 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,420 Tell me when those things are. 342 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,840 Yeah, 343 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,060 that's right, George. I got all this money to give away in my will. 344 00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:08,930 I just can't decide if I should give it to Carmen or Max. 345 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:15,530 I'll get you your beer. 346 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,290 I'll rub your feet. 347 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,970 And we have a winner. 348 00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:21,230 Yes. 349 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,810 Oh, man, I'm going to earn every penny doing this. 25989

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