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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:02,299 Let's go. 2 00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,040 You've been in there for 20 minutes. You don't need to shave your legs above the 3 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,020 knee. No one should be looking up there anyway. 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,600 I'm not shaving my legs anymore. 5 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,780 I'm growing it out, like your ear hair. 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,500 Guess what, Sasquatch? It's hereditary. 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,160 Come on, Max. Let's go, brother. I'm going to be late for work. You're a kid. 8 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,240 You should hate being clean. 9 00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:20,540 I do. 10 00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,620 I haven't showered in three days. 11 00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:26,440 Me and Jimmy Cregan are having a stink -off. 12 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,440 You win. 13 00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:39,130 Unless, of course, you want me to come in there. 14 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,330 I take that as a yes. 15 00:00:42,730 --> 00:00:43,790 Close your eyes, baby. 16 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,490 Here comes Ramon the towel boy. 17 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:48,790 Oh, God! 18 00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:53,110 Oh, that ain't right! Hey, perv, did you enjoy the show? 19 00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:00,510 Angie, Angie, quick, show me your body. 20 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,440 I tell you, your mom's using our shower. 21 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:08,560 Man, with all the steam in there, it was like gorillas in the mist. 22 00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:12,980 What's wrong with her shower? 23 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,620 Her drain's clogged. It takes a day for the water to go down. 24 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:18,120 You should fix it for her. 25 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:19,860 No. 26 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:26,000 No? Hey, I always do things for her. Getting her groceries, fixing her car. 27 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,080 never appreciates it. So you know what? I'm done. 28 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:31,660 George, I'm sure she appreciates it, but... Angie. 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,820 I've spent my entire life trying to get a thank you from that woman, and all I 30 00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:36,820 get is sarcasm. 31 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:38,900 Thanks for the stretch marks. 32 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,940 Thanks for sitting in front of the TV with that big head. 33 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,140 Thanks for scaring away all my dates by saying, are you my new daddy? 34 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,560 Come on, I could swear in 15 years I've heard her say thank you. No. 35 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:59,660 You just imagined it because you live in Angie land, where the sky is blue. 36 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,560 and people always say thank you and howdy. 37 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,500 Oh, you look so cute in that top. 38 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,039 So you're telling me your mom never says thank you and every time you tell me I 39 00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:12,860 look cute in something, I'm imagining it? 40 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,080 Cold and dark out here, isn't it? 41 00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,100 You're being ridiculous. 42 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,720 I bet she says it. 43 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:22,140 If you don't believe me, do something nice for her. You'll see. 44 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,740 Oh, hey, Mr. Peepers. 45 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,310 I hope there's a 20 -drink minimum. 46 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:39,290 Hey, Angie, why don't you get my mom a cup of coffee? I'm sure she would 47 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:40,510 appreciate it. 48 00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:45,530 I'm sure she will appreciate it. 49 00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,670 Here you go, Benny. 50 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,070 Nice and hot. 51 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:52,370 What, are you trying to burn me? 52 00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:59,750 Benny, I made myself some French toast, but I have some leftovers here. 53 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Why don't you have it? 54 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,760 Why don't you get me some sausage out of the trash can while you're at it? 55 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,380 Put it on your goat? 56 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,300 I want to punch her in the throat. 57 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,800 Hey, don't start something you can't finish. 58 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:20,620 Okay. I just took a bath and a cigarette butt floated to the top. 59 00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,380 Oh, I thought I put that out in the ashtray. 60 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,880 It's not an ashtray. It's a soap dish. 61 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,780 Mom, why don't you call a plumber to fix your drain? 62 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,600 Oh, no, that's too expensive. I got to save for my retirement. 63 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,000 Unless you want me living in your attic. 64 00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:38,760 I wouldn't do that to the other bats. 65 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,640 I don't need a plumber anyway. I met a guy at Home Depot. He's coming over 66 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,140 tomorrow. Well, if he works there, he probably knows his stuff. 67 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,420 Oh, he doesn't work there. 68 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:52,180 He was in the parking lot hanging around with a bunch of guys. 69 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,080 They were passing around a beer, and when it got to me, I started talking to 70 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,080 him. 71 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,560 Wait a minute. 72 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:01,150 You're having a guy you don't know come over to your house? 73 00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:04,890 Hey, it's not like I didn't ask him for his ID. He just didn't have any. 74 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:10,590 Are you crazy, Mom? You live alone. This guy could kill you. He could rob you. 75 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:14,170 No way he's coming over to your house. Oh, you'll never know if he comes over. 76 00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:16,570 So you know what? Sure, he's not coming over. 77 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:21,410 All right, I'll take a look at your drain this afternoon. 78 00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:22,690 Okay, whatever. 79 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,790 Well, I'm off to Pep Boys. 80 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:27,550 Hello. 81 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,490 Going with my beer. 82 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:33,230 I'm going to find a guy in the parking lot to fix my carburetor. 83 00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:38,210 All right, Mom, I'll take a look at your carburetor, too. 84 00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:42,010 Whatever. Well, I'm off to the parking lot at the paint store. 85 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,110 Get out. 86 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,130 Ma 'am, Benny, I haven't been in your house since high school. 87 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,190 Mom, is that lamp still broken? 88 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,430 You know what? It is. 89 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:58,639 What's wrong with it? 90 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,400 I don't know. I think it's a loose cord. 91 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,760 Yeah, I bet I could fix it. 92 00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:04,860 Sorry! 93 00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:10,280 You're funny every time. That wasn't funny. 94 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:14,660 What's going on? 95 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,780 They shocked me. 96 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:31,920 here's the drain? 97 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:38,000 No, no, I gotta patch the shower curtain here and I gotta get some new duct tape 98 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000 for this pile. 99 00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:44,180 But how do you turn on the hot water? There's no handle. 100 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,880 Hey, I got pliers. 101 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,140 If the pliers are here, how do you change the channels on the TV? 102 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:56,300 You know what? I'm not a hillbilly. I bought another pair of pliers. 103 00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:03,350 falling apart. 104 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,950 Why doesn't she do something? 105 00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:06,330 She's used to it. 106 00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,710 Besides, she's older. She's only in here a couple times a week. 107 00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,410 You can't let your mother live like this. 108 00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:20,430 You should have the bathroom redone for her. No. No way. 109 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:26,610 Come on. You could surprise her. Think about it. Fresh paint and nice tiles. 110 00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:29,790 Oh, and maybe one of those cushiony toilet seats, huh? 111 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,140 No. Let her hover. 112 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:42,380 Do you really want that thank you? Do you really want to see her appreciation? 113 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,180 Well, you know I do. 114 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:48,460 Well, you've never done anything this big for her. If you give her a whole new 115 00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,660 bathroom, there is no way she can't say thank you. 116 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,520 It would be nice to hear it one time in my life. 117 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,200 You deserve it, George. 118 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:57,820 I do. 119 00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:58,940 And you know what? 120 00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:02,450 I'm going to do all the work myself. I'm going to make this bathroom so nice. 121 00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,350 Every time she uses it, she's going to think of me. 122 00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,730 This is a big job. 123 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,170 Shouldn't you hire professionals? 124 00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:14,890 Professionals? Angie, please. 125 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,090 I got this. 126 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,320 Maybe we should use a real plumber's snake. 127 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,439 What for? 128 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,320 Using a hose is better. I get water pressure and a snake. 129 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,100 And I can regulate the flow. Look. 130 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,400 Off. On. 131 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,060 Is it working? 132 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:25,360 Yeah. I already got out enough hair and cigarettes to make three bennies. 133 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,640 Max! Turn it off! 134 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,640 You know, this whole remodel is going to take longer than you thought. 135 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:32,940 How are you going to keep your mom away? 136 00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:34,620 I lied. 137 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,460 It's a really great thing you're doing for your mom. 138 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:45,020 Maybe I should put in that bidet my mom's been asking about. 139 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,440 What's a bidet? 140 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,500 Oh, it's a refreshing water fountain for your butt. 141 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,460 Cool. 142 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,640 Man, there's something black in the drain right around the pipe bend. 143 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,000 I think I got a job for the assistant plumber. 144 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,700 Another bearded? 145 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,040 Oh, a big manly job. 146 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,510 I need you to reach in the drain and find out what's around the corner. 147 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,250 What is it? 148 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,440 The way she fits in there, perfect. 149 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,400 She wants to make herself a baked potato. 150 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:15,560 What do you think? 151 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,540 George, it's beautiful. 152 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,960 She is going to love it. It was harder than I thought. I almost killed myself. 153 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,000 But when she walks in here and sees all this and finally says thank you, it'll 154 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000 be worth it. 155 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,280 Are you standing? 156 00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:33,960 I got drywall in my butt cheek. 157 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:39,180 If I don't take a shower soon, they're going to be spackled shut forever. 158 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,400 Mom, come here. 159 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,480 I want to show you how good the drain works. 160 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:47,780 Okay, close your eyes, Mom. 161 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,340 Why? 162 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:50,640 Just do it. 163 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,680 You know what? The last time somebody told me to close my eyes, I ended up 164 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,680 you. 165 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,600 U -chrome fixtures, porcelain sink, low -flow toilet with whisper flush and 166 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,600 padded feet? 167 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,200 What do you think, Mom? 168 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,780 The hook for the robe is too high. 169 00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:39,940 Excuse me? 170 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:44,080 Oh, how am I supposed to get up there? Oh, I forgot that big growth spurt I'm 171 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,140 going to have when I hit 60. 172 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:52,110 George just redid your entire bathroom with his own hands, and that's all you 173 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:52,829 have to say? 174 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:55,730 Hey, I didn't ask him to do it. I just needed to have the drain fixed. 175 00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:58,870 It's fixed. 176 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,390 You don't deserve this. 177 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:31,770 watching. 178 00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,330 But he's killing all the civilians. 179 00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,810 Will you please talk to me now? 180 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:45,190 Come on, George. Let that old lady cross the street and talk to me. 181 00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,730 There she goes. 182 00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,810 She's almost there. 183 00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:55,290 Okay. 184 00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:00,110 Talk to me. 185 00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,710 known she'd do this to me. This whole thing is your fault. 186 00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:06,009 Oh, come on. 187 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,970 Angie, you can't blame the scorpion for stinging you. It's in their nature. 188 00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:13,530 But you can blame the person who talked you into fixing the scorpion's toilet. 189 00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:19,210 Look, I was just trying to help. Angie, I put three days of work in there. I put 190 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:22,170 my blood, sweat, and the tip of Ernie's pinky into that bathroom. 191 00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:24,350 He's okay. 192 00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:30,190 You're right to be angry, George. She is wrong. You did an amazing job on that 193 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:31,190 bathroom. 194 00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:34,030 I built an ashtray into the shower. 195 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,110 That's custom. 196 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:40,970 You don't see that in the catalog. That came from right here. 197 00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:47,050 Maybe deep down she really is grateful, but she just can't express it. Why do 198 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,490 you keep making excuses for her? 199 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,270 I'm not. I'm just saying it's probably hard for her. 200 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:54,770 Look, saying thank you is acknowledging that somebody did something for you, and 201 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:58,170 Betty would never admit that she needed anybody to do anything for her. It's a 202 00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,170 sign of weakness. 203 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,060 Maybe it would help if you opened up to her. 204 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:03,920 If I what? 205 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:08,480 You guys never really talk. You just bark at each other. 206 00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:12,080 Maybe if you opened up and thanked her for all the things that she's done for 207 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,480 you, she'd be able to thank you for all the things that you've done for her. 208 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,540 I don't want to open up. 209 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:21,220 It'll make you the bigger person. I like being small. I'm very happy with my 210 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,220 size. 211 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,300 George, you're going to have to deal with this. What, are you going to never 212 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300 talk to her again? 213 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,880 No. 214 00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:30,480 Eventually, I'm going to have to say, it's okay, Mom. 215 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,140 Let go. 216 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,980 Head for the light. 217 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,280 George. 218 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,420 What do I get if I do? 219 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,060 A healthy relationship with your mother. 220 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,920 Once I get that, can I trade it for something I can use? 221 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,960 Like what? A George Foreman grill. 222 00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:00,310 Sure. One of the big ones. 223 00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,810 Yeah, with the bun warmers? Oh, that's nice. 224 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,770 Why do we have to talk in the bathroom? 225 00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,330 Because I want to talk in the bathroom. 226 00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:17,590 If anything happens to me in here, George, I will haunt you. I swear I 227 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,510 Mom, I just want to talk. We never really talk. We just bark at each other. 228 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,190 Is Angie behind this? 229 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,520 I just think we need to open up to each other. 230 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,300 That sure smells like Angie. 231 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,320 You know why I did all this, Mom? 232 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,500 To get you to say thank you. 233 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,420 Then I realized that there are a lot of things I never thanked you for. 234 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,220 I know how hard it was for you raising me alone. 235 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,820 And thank you for your sacrifices. 236 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,900 And thank you for being my mom and my dad. 237 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,780 And thank you for all the things... 238 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,620 I don't even know that you did for me. 239 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,240 Now, is there anything you want to say to me, Mom? 240 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,920 It's about freaking time. 241 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,180 I don't think you're getting this, Mom. You see, I just opened up. I feel good 242 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,180 about it. 243 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:24,140 Now I want you to open up. All right, but this is going to be hard for me. 244 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,880 Movies where dogs can talk. 245 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,400 What I'm looking for, Mom, is two little words. 246 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,740 Three if you say it blank, blank, George. 247 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,800 Or you could say it George, blank, blank. 248 00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:50,420 I'll make it easier for you. In Spanish, it's just one word. Adios. 249 00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:52,660 Wait. 250 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,700 Maybe I'm being too vague. 251 00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:58,000 Let's take this nine. 252 00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:02,410 Some people would be thankful for that. 253 00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:04,670 It's just a towel rack. 254 00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:07,510 So you don't care if it's here or not? 255 00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:10,110 My bad. 256 00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:18,490 Let's go to the showerhead. 257 00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:21,170 It's got three speeds. 258 00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,930 Steady stream, pulsate, massage. 259 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,720 What are you going to do to that? 260 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,840 Why, do you like this? Yeah, I like it. 261 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:54,280 Well, say the words, Momworth. Coming up! Thank you. 262 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:57,960 I didn't hear you. 263 00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,960 Thank you for the damn toilet seat there. 264 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,519 You happy? 265 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,520 Is that what you wanted? 266 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:05,900 Yes. Was that so hard? 267 00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:09,920 Yeah, it was, because I don't have a lot of practice doing this, you know. 268 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,360 Who do I thank for having to drop out of school when I was 15 to work in a 269 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,360 factory? 270 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,080 Thank God I sure know who to thank for giving me a cushion toilet. 271 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,280 a pretty good son. 272 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,580 Thank you. 273 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,700 You give it up way too easy. 274 00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:18,060 Okay. 275 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:27,740 Angie, the kids are out of the house. My mom's got her own bathroom and it's 276 00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:28,740 just us. 277 00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,940 Or shall I say, it's just you and Ramon the towel boy. 278 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,920 Sounds like somebody's ready to be dried. 21982

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