All language subtitles for george_lopez_s01e04_maxs_big_adventure

George, there's a detective waiting for
you in your office.

Do you have any idea why?

No.

Look, nobody is judging you. You are a
good man and you made a horrible

You know, maybe it was for love, maybe
it was the drink, I don't know.

Look, seriously man, just tell me what
you did so I can help you.

I will shred files, I will lie, I will
do anything.

Okay, here's the plan.

I'll go talk to the cop.

You go back to your desk and pretend
nothing's wrong. Do some work, okay?

But don't pretend.

Actually, do work.

Hey, George.

Hey, Jim. What brings you down here?

You know this guy?

Our kids go to the same school.

Man, did we tear up career day or what?
You with your gun and taser and me

showing the kids how to do inventory?

Sorry to bother you, but I got a warrant
on one of your employees.

I got to take him in.

No way.

One of my guys?

Who am I kidding? It could be any one of
them.

Reggie Grant. He beat up some guy in a
bar last night.

Reggie?

Oh, man, no way, dude. I ride to work
with Reggie every day.

Listen, George, I don't want to make a
big thing out of this. Could you just

Reggie to come into your office?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, what happened to Reggie? He got in
a fight at a bar. Jimmy's got a warrant

for his arrest.

No, no, not Reggie. He's got the best
car in the carpool.

It's got different temperatures on the
right and the left side.

That's very important to me. I'm going
through the change.

Hey, Reggie.

Can I talk to you in my office?

Is there a problem?

No, I'm just setting up the new vacation
schedule.

Oh, good. I think I got three weeks
coming.

I think it's more like three to five.

That's a cop, right?

Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

Why don't we just get this over with?

Hey, who's up for lunch? Reggie, you
want to go?

Not now, Ernie. Oh, come on. I'm buying
today, Tubby.

You know, that's the second time in 24
hours I've been called Tubby.

You know what I like to call people?

Jim!

I'm going to save you the embarrassment
of trying to wrestle me to the ground.

I don't know what happened, but... At
least I don't have to buy Reggie lunch.

I saved about 70 bucks.

Okay, everybody relax.

Just a little problem with our friend
Reggie.

I'm sure he'll be okay.

You know, it's not cool to ask if anyone
here is a felon, but just out of

curiosity, how many of you can vote in a
national election?

I wasn't joking.

in the carpool.

Jimmy Fatass, Joey Pitstains, Booger
Notes Johnny, and Lily.

What don't you like about Lily?

Oh, she never has a nice word to say
about anybody.

Why don't we just let Ernie back in the
carpool, Mom?

He had his chance. He's such a backseat
driver.

Slow down, please slow down. Stop,
please stop. We're all gonna die.

Mom, you're a plain chicken with a
train.

I think we should find somebody with a
good car, somebody who can tell a story.

That wouldn't be so bad either.

I'm sick of being Miss Personality.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?

I'm walking to school.

Well, since when do you walk to school
by yourself?

I'm 10, Dad.

All my friends are walking to school by
themselves.

Sorry, buddy. I don't think you're ready
yet.

You still believe in Santa Claus.

Santa Claus would think that you're too
young to walk to school by yourself.

Did you talk to him?

Yeah, we had lunch on Thursday.

Your mom will drive you. Go get a
jacket.

Okay.

Hey, where did that come from? They're
working on a play about safety at

and he feels he's ready to start walking
by himself.

Absolutely not. He's too young.

George, we let Carmen walk by herself
when she was ten.

That was different. We used to live
right across the street from the school.

was never out of my sight.

And let's be honest, Angie, I mean,
Carmen was our first kid.

She was like the canary in the coal
mine.

Why don't we just talk about this after
you see the play? You might change your

mind. Oh, man, I hope it's better than
that multi -faith holiday play they had

where Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, and
Buddha were all celebrating Kwanzaa.

Street smart, street safe.

I don't know why they're making these
kids do a play about staying away from

strangers. That is a parent's job.

I'll give you my play.

Everyone is bad. Thank you. Thank you.

Mom, this is important.

You didn't teach me any of this stuff.
All you told me was if a stranger comes

up to you and speaks Spanish, that'd
make me safe and make me exotic.

I told you I'm going to do this through
the whole play. Max is nervous enough

about remembering his lines.

Hi. Thanks for coming, everyone.

The kids have worked really hard on this
play.

And they've learned that by being street
smart, they can be street safe.

Hey, I have a question. Yes.

That sign outside, no smoking, is that
just for the kids or for everybody?

That's for everyone.

How long is the play? Just under 20
minutes.

I'll catch it on Broadway.

Okay, let's begin.

Our parents are picking us up in a half
an hour.

Wrong.

Rewind.

Our parents are going to be here any
second.

Right.

Press play.

Ridiculous. What are they going to learn
from this? Angie on operator VCR?

Before they get here, can you help me
look for my frisbee over by those trees?

You inch a dollar.

We don't talk to strangers.

You're not safe. You're not safe.

Oh, here comes a nine -year -old kid
with a badge. Wow, that's going to help.

Hey, that's my kid.

Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

How's the flight? About a pack and a
half too long.

when you walked up to the teacher
afterwards and demanded your tax dollars

Come on, Angie. You think that play
helped Max?

The only thing he's ready for is a tiny
stranger with a fake mustache who can't

stop looking at the audience.

He's not walking to school by himself.

George, it's only four blocks.

A lot can happen in four blocks.

He has no idea what's going on out
there.

He's not like me when I was a kid,
Angie.

He's totally sheltered. At least... I
grew up in a rough neighborhood

by criminals. I was lucky.

I'll tell you your problem.

Can a day go by when you don't say that?

You have already ruined your kids by
coddling them.

George was very independent.

He was crossing the street by himself
when he was two.

I was looking for food.

Well, I think you're underestimating
Max.

What are you guys talking about?

You.

How about I give you a little pop safety
quiz?

What if it was raining and a stranger
drove up and offered to give you a ride

home? I wouldn't go.

Good. Okay, now, Mac, what if someone
came up to you and said, your mom told

to give you a ride home?

I still want to go.

Now, what if the guy said your mom and
dad were in a very bad accident, losing

blood fast, and if you didn't come right
away, you'd never see your parents

alive again?

Hey, George, that's enough.

That's okay, honey, that's not gonna
happen. Why don't you go to bed and I'll

up in a minute, okay?

George, you're being ridiculous.

Max can handle it.

I don't care what she says.

I don't think Max is ready to walk to
school until he learns about the real

world. I'll tell you what I did when you
were a kid.

I used to read the newspaper to you
right before bed.

Remember the Zodiac Killer?

You'd say, he's not coming here, is he,
Mommy?

I'd look at the paper and tell you, he
doesn't say.

Yeah, I remember. No green eggs and ham,
no cat in the hat, just nut kills 12.

Night -night.

What are you doing?

Well, Max, the movie, and I don't want
your mom to know. Well, I want a new

sweater.

I'm sure we can make some sort of
agreement.

What's the agreement? You don't tell
Mom, and I'll do whatever I want.

All right.

This movie might be a little mature for
you, but I think it's more important

that you learn that not everyone out
there is a nice person.

What's the movie?

Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I queued it up to the educational part.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Are you insane?

Not compared to them.

Angie, this is how kids learn. They
watch scary stuff, they get nightmares,

learn to be careful.

Max doesn't need to watch these movies
to walk to school, which he is doing

Monday morning.

I'll take this.

Well, there's no lesson here, but...

Let's see what happens when leprechauns
go bad.

Okay.

The next contestant for the carpool
opening is Danny Boy.

He's on line two.

You're on, Danny Boy.

boy if you join the carpool you have to
come to work every day not on the days

that i drive bye daddy boy send the next
one in

um i want a chance to get back in the
carpool state your name you know

my name state your name ernesto cardenas
this dope will do anything skip

around like a pony and slap your own ass

I'm asking everybody what kind of car
they drive to see how they'll fit in the

group. Oh, well, I drive a Subaru Brat.

Now, I'll be honest, there's no radio,
no air conditioning, and once in a blue

moon, fire comes out of the vents.

Next. Hey, no, I prepared a joke.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Would
you say orange and get out of here

already?

I was going to say mango.

Mango who?

Mango in your carpool. Why can't it be
me?

Hey, guys, I'm sorry. I can't wait any
longer. I got to pick up my new van.

If it matters, it's got a VCR, little
TVs in the headrest.

Color? Oh, yeah.

Ernie, knock, knock.

Who's there?

That's you, brother.

Honk a few times, get out of your car,
skip around, and slap yourself on the

ass. I just want to see somebody do
this.

So, Monday's the big day, huh?

You gonna let Max walk to school or
what?

Angie says yes, but I don't know.

And all of a sudden I'm a crazy man for
worrying about my kid.

Hey, here's an idea, Einstein.

Why don't you follow him to school?

Yeah, but what if he thieves me? I don't
want to hurt his confidence.

Frank's picking you up, Mandy. Let him
drive you.

Hey, why weren't you this smart when I
was a kid?

What are you talking about?

I know you followed me to school in your
car.

No, I didn't. Yes, you did. We had a
gold Chevy Citation with three hubcaps.

George, that was 90 % of our
neighborhood.

Hey, honey, remember everything we
talked about?

You got my cell phone?

It's in my pocket.

And what number do you call if you're in
trouble?

911. Good boy.

Okay, George, Max is leaving.

Wait, I have to leave before you. I
can't bear to watch you go.

I can't wait.

I'm going to be late. Okay, then I need
something out of your backpack.

Hey! George!

An eraser in the shape of an army man.
Got it, bye.

You're coming.

Hey, Frank, thanks for coming by. so I
can get a head start on my kid. Yeah, no

problem. Listen, just so I know, for my
own comfort, why are we following him?

Today's the first day he's walking to
school alone.

There he is.

Start driving.

You know, they got a chip you can put in
between dogs' shoulder blades nowadays

so you always know where they are.

So if anything happens to this kid, you
might want to get a dog.

How are you going to do this? Just until
I'm sure he can handle himself.

Well, how are you going to know unless
something happens?

Dude, could you be less supportive?

You know, I was watching this news show
and they had these kids at a playground.

This undercover reporter came and asked
them if they wanted to come and play

with his puppy.

And what happened?

Every single kid went with him.

Every kid?

Almost every kid. The rest of the kids
came when the guy promised to take them

to go see Santa Claus.

Thank God.

Pull up to Max.

What for?

I'm going to test my kids.

When you get next to him, I'm going to
tell you what to say. I want to see if

you'll get in a stranger's van.

You know, I don't know about this,
George, really.

Hey, you want to stay in the carpool?

Is it going to be like this every
morning?

There he is right there.

Get his attention.

Hey, hey there, buddy.

Hey, Frank, tell me you lost your puppy.

Hey, you see my puppy around here
anywhere?

I lost him. I don't know this
neighborhood too good.

Hey, ask him to get in and help you look
for the puppy.

Hey, you want to hop in, help me look
for him?

I'll give you a couple bucks.

Oh, that's good.

Hey,

you've never done this before, have you?

to max tell him you got an xbox in here
where's the xbox i want to play

timmy be quiet and i'll give you all the
change that's in my pocket hey you know

i got an xbox in here you want to you
want to come in and play with it

Well, hey, Jim.

What's he doing here, Jim?

He's walking my kid to school.

What are you doing back there? Hey, Jim,
listen, I know this looks funny, but I

was worried about Max walking to school
all by himself, so I thought maybe I'd

test him to see if he'd get in a
stranger's van, but Timmy got in

Timmy, is that true?

He said if I keep my mouth shut, I can
have what's in his pocket.

Okay, I'm going to ask you guys a couple
questions.

George, I want out of the carpool.

Hank, you were out of the car for the
minute. You tricked Timmy into this van.

I told you I could make it to school and
back all by myself, and nothing went

wrong. Except there was this van, and
the driver tried to talk to me, but I

away. You did great, honey.

You have to be careful about people in
vans, because some of them are...

We're really proud of you. You've proven
to us that you're a responsible young

man. Thanks.

Oh, can I get my cell phone back?

I'll go get it back tomorrow.

Where is it?

I loaned it to Yoshi.

He misses his friends in Japan.

As far as the phone company's concerned,
Yoshi stole it.

You realize what you did was crazy.

Maybe.

But at least my heart's in the right
place.

George, I know your heart's in the right
place.

And your head's almost far enough up
there to be right next to it.

I can't help but worry about Max.

Angie's such a sweet little guy.

But, George, we have to let him grow up.

It's happening so fast.

I know.

I mean, now he's walking himself to
school.

Next thing, he'll be in college.

He'll be out of our lives.

gonna work in the factory with your dad
aren't you

hey

george uh you wanted to see me frank
dropped out of the carpool yeah so we

a vote yeah and you lost oh so we took
another vote yeah and you lost

again oh but we took another vote yeah
and you lost again

George, how many more times are you
going to put me through this?

Until it's not fun anymore.

Okay. So we took another vote.

Yeah.