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1
00:00:01,290 --> 00:00:03,250
Grandma, why do you buy these tabloids?
2
00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:05,230
Oh, it's just for fun.
3
00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:07,110
You can't believe this stuff.
4
00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:09,350
All right.
5
00:00:09,570 --> 00:00:12,810
The Virgin of Guadalupe says the Lakers
will repeat.
6
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,970
She called it last time.
7
00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:20,990
I love this exhibit.
8
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:24,330
Lunch lady of the past and lunch lady of
the future.
9
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,230
We're dyeing our hair.
10
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:30,770
Yeah, now move it, George. I need the
sun to cook the juices.
11
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,520
And your head's making an eclipse.
12
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,520
I smell barbecue and hair. You must be
done.
13
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,660
What color are you dyeing your hair?
14
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,160
We're putting red streaks in it.
15
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,920
Mom, can you talk to me before you start
painting my kids?
16
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:49,280
Remember when you were 13 and you shaved
your head?
17
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,500
Now we're even.
18
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,460
Mom, the school made me shave my head. I
had life.
19
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,620
You didn't have life.
20
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,980
You were a thinker, so you scratched
your head a lot.
21
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,419
Hey, Carmen.
22
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,000
Oh, my God, go away. Don't look at me.
23
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,620
What's up?
24
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,980
I'd shake his hand, but I think that's
what's holding up his pants.
25
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,400
Put your ass away.
26
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,020
George, this is Duncan.
27
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,300
Hello, everybody.
28
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:21,880
What do you think?
29
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:24,760
It looks like you fell asleep in
ketchup.
30
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:26,860
Stop.
31
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,120
Carmen, it looks great.
32
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,700
Thanks, Mom.
33
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,900
We're going to go study. Wait a second.
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00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:36,620
Just the two of you? George, don't make
a big deal. It's okay. They're just
35
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:37,620
friends.
36
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000
Thanks, Mom.
37
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,180
Okay, let's go.
38
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,980
So, uh, what do you think of my hair?
39
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,260
See, it looks good, baby. Oh, God, stop.
40
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,920
She'll be pregnant in a week.
41
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,420
see you're up and working again. What
time do they come by and fix the
42
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,960
Ernie, you know you can't eat on the
shop floor.
43
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,760
Is that lettuce on your chin?
44
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,360
Open your mouth. Open your mouth.
45
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,900
Ernie, don't make me open your mouth.
46
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,780
If I can do it to a dog, I can do it to
you.
47
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:44,840
I gotta eat.
48
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,640
I'm depressed. My girlfriend broke up
with me.
49
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:51,200
I have this empty space inside that only
ham can fill.
50
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,080
You can't keep doing this every time you
get hurt, dude.
51
00:02:55,839 --> 00:02:57,540
Ham can't replace the love of a woman.
52
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,300
Only beer and golf can do that.
53
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,340
Hey, Bob's big boy, you eating again?
54
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,120
Leave him alone, Mom. He's got woman
trouble.
55
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,320
How can he have woman trouble? He can't
get one.
56
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,840
Why do you always keep people when
they're down, Mom? You know you never
57
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,840
anything good to say.
58
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:18,580
You're right.
59
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,600
We should be celebrating. You're going
to be a grandpa.
60
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,320
Mom, Angie and I already discussed it.
They were just studying.
61
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,600
Right. Just studying.
62
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:33,800
Remember how when you were 13, you went
in the bathroom to study the Sears
63
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,800
catalog?
64
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,800
You know, Mom, one day I'm going to walk
into a shrink's office with a
65
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,600
wheelbarrow full of cash and talk until
he begs me to leave.
66
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,260
Hey, Claudia.
67
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,360
Hi, boss man.
68
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:53,360
I hope this isn't too personal a
question, but how old were you when you
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00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,810
dating? I was almost 14.
70
00:03:56,510 --> 00:03:58,210
Yeah. Tommy Jenkins.
71
00:03:58,770 --> 00:03:59,790
Oh, what a sweetie.
72
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,950
Yeah, we would hold hands for hours.
73
00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,770
So it was kind of innocent. You were
just hanging out? Yeah.
74
00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:07,430
Until my parents went to bed.
75
00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:12,670
We went at it like a couple of baby
monkeys.
76
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,950
Oh, man.
77
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:17,589
What?
78
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,589
Well, how old were you?
79
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,250
17.
80
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,500
She told me you'll never find a woman as
wonderful as your mother.
81
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,180
So I figured if that's the best I'm
going to do, why look?
82
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:41,980
Hey, guys.
83
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,560
Hey, Dad. What's up, Ben? Hey, Ernie.
What's up?
84
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,240
He's lonely.
85
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,760
I can't shake him. My girlfriend dumped
me.
86
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,980
Well, it's her loss, Ernie. You're a
catch.
87
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,620
And if I had any single girlfriends, I
would set you up. What about Elizabeth?
88
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,820
No, that's not going to work out. Oh,
God.
89
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,640
So where's Carmen? Oh, she's upstairs
studying with Duncan.
90
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,400
Upstairs?
91
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,060
Duncan's in her room?
92
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,560
Max wouldn't leave them alone. Carmen
says they're studying and I trust her.
93
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:10,820
What about Duncan?
94
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,620
Angie, that kid walked in our house with
his pants half off.
95
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,480
If he trips, they could have sex by
accident.
96
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,160
better if we just fill that giant head
of yours with candy and just let the
97
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,160
take a swing at it.
98
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,080
You got a big head.
99
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:37,380
Max, remember that time you got in
trouble for spying on your sister?
100
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,360
Yeah. You said I was wrong.
101
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:43,760
Well, son, I think you're going to find
the older you get, the line between
102
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,340
right and wrong is going to move around
a lot.
103
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,380
Go spy on your sister and Duncan and
tell them if they do anything wrong.
104
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,459
Like what?
105
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:51,820
Like swearing or stealing.
106
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,060
or anything that makes you feel happy in
a way you don't understand.
107
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:00,880
Oh, man.
108
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100
What's wrong with me?
109
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:05,420
Even 13 -year -olds have girlfriends.
Why can't I keep a woman?
110
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,320
No, dude.
111
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,880
Just when you start to fall in love, you
run out of quarters and that little
112
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:11,880
window goes down.
113
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,140
I'm serious.
114
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,220
If I could get a girl to hang out just
long enough for me to do my move, she'd
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00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,220
be mine like forever.
116
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,620
Oh, man. What's your move?
117
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:26,900
Hey!
118
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:31,060
Hey, man, does your move always smell
like Cheetos?
119
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,460
Uh -oh, that was quick.
120
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,100
What do you got for me?
121
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:37,260
What do you got for me?
122
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,640
You get to eat my food and sleep in my
house for one more day.
123
00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:43,400
I couldn't see anything.
124
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,900
The bedroom door's closed.
125
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,100
Oh, man, I knew it!
126
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,160
What's going on?
127
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,540
Well, it's hard to explain, man.
128
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:57,750
You see, when boys and girls get older,
they start to pair off until there's
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00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,190
just one guy left.
130
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,770
That's me.
131
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,050
All right, you two.
132
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,470
Dad, what are you doing?
133
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:10,850
Just making sure everybody's got a pair
of pants and they're on.
134
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,530
All right, this room's okay.
135
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,750
Carmen, your mom wants you downstairs.
136
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,510
I didn't hear her call me.
137
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,000
Well, you know, when you've been married
as long as we have, there's almost like
138
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000
a telepathy.
139
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,120
Okay. Okay, Angie. Okay.
140
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,080
She's on her way down. Angie, stop
yelling at me.
141
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,780
Okay, but if you kill him, you'll just
go to jail and you'll have a boyfriend.
142
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:40,720
First, you want to do yourself a really
big favor?
143
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,360
Get off the bed.
144
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,520
Sure.
145
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,900
Look, where I come from, we weren't ever
allowed in the room with a girl.
146
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,220
And I'm going to tell you straight.
147
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:50,680
I don't like it.
148
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,920
And I want you to know I'm watching you.
149
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,160
Even when you don't think I'm around,
I'm watching you.
150
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:04,980
When you're sleeping in your little race
car bed, I'm watching you.
151
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:10,900
Even if you start to think, hey, maybe
he's not watching me, I'm watching you.
152
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,800
Pop quiz. What am I doing right now,
Duncan?
153
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,040
Watching me, sir.
154
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:18,900
There you go.
155
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,880
That wasn't so bad, was it?
156
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,020
Off the bed!
157
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,360
I'm sorry my dad was such a jerk
yesterday.
158
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,419
Maybe we shouldn't be talking about him.
He kind of scares me.
159
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,320
It's just a big head.
160
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,080
It scares a lot of people, but he's
harmless.
161
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:53,690
Hang on. That big head just floated in.
162
00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:57,550
Doing your homework?
163
00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:58,630
What do you think?
164
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:01,170
What's wrong with you?
165
00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,830
Nothing. I love it when you embarrass me
in front of my boyfriend.
166
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,670
Do you have to call him that?
167
00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:07,830
Well, then how about if I call him my
man?
168
00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:12,650
Why don't we call him Caucasian male?
Because that's what's going to be on the
169
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:13,650
coroner's report.
170
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,070
You're being so uncool.
171
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,010
It's not my job to be cool.
172
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,910
I don't want you alone with Duncan.
173
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:21,510
Got it?
174
00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:23,750
Got it.
175
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,050
Come on.
176
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,730
No. Come on.
177
00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,730
Come on. If you hug me, I'll leave.
178
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:34,470
That's my girl.
179
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:35,570
But you said you'd leave.
180
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,310
Come on, honey. Hurry up. We gotta get
you to dance class.
181
00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:43,650
We have another 10 minutes. I know, but
I wanna get out of here before Grandma
182
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,850
Benny gets here. Good idea. Go out
the...
183
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:51,870
I'm sorry, Benny, but usually there's a
cold chill before you appear.
184
00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:01,330
Carmen had the boyfriend, and you're
still letting her out of the house?
185
00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:02,830
Mom, I got it under control.
186
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,530
I talked to her about Duncan, then we
hugged.
187
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:09,290
Hugged. Oh, that's different. That's so
sweet. I wish I'd been there with the
188
00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:11,550
camera to take a picture of how stupid
you are.
189
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,390
Oh, you're in such a good mood today,
Mom.
190
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,010
You smoking with the patch on again?
191
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:21,420
If you want your daughter to stay out of
trouble, you've got to keep an eye on
192
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,180
her. Have you searched her room yet? No.
193
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,020
What are you waiting for?
194
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,700
Hey, hey, hey, there's limits.
195
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,980
Just because you searched my room
doesn't mean I'm going to search hers.
196
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,220
You did a lot of stuff that was way over
the line, Mom.
197
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,000
Like what over the line?
198
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,540
Like even after I left the house, you
tried to keep me away from girls.
199
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,120
Sylvia at work? You threatened her.
200
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:42,600
Sylvia? She was a slut.
201
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,460
To look through her stuff, I am. Mom.
Mom.
202
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:53,780
It's a condom.
203
00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:56,680
Mom, that's a wet nap.
204
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,760
What's that? That's a computer.
205
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,120
Karma's got an instant message.
206
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,960
His big head's still there.
207
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:19,670
It's a message from Duncan.
208
00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,270
Hey, you still there?
209
00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:32,470
Don't worry.
210
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,270
Big Dad has left.
211
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:39,050
Hey, I know you were a little scared
yesterday, but wasn't that fun?
212
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:46,890
What was the most fun for you?
213
00:11:48,039 --> 00:11:49,700
Please be specific.
214
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,100
Watching you do it over and over again
until you got it right.
215
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,800
Oh, my God!
216
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,540
Has anyone seen my dance bag?
217
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,760
Hey, explain this, young lady.
218
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,080
What's going on? What were you doing
with Duncan over and over again until
219
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,080
got it right?
220
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,100
You were talking to Duncan as me? I
don't believe this. Answer the question.
221
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,359
What were you doing?
222
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,160
We were doing half -pipes. Oh, my God,
and you're doing drugs, too.
223
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:26,400
Angie, do you know this kid does half
-pipes? A half -pipe is where you ride
224
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,240
your skateboard. Duncan was teaching me.
Mom was there the whole time.
225
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,000
What is going on here?
226
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,800
Dad was talking to Duncan on the
computer pretending to be me.
227
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,380
Are you out of your mind?
228
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:38,140
I don't believe you. You're the worst
dad ever.
229
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,120
How can I be the worst dad ever?
230
00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:45,200
There's Macaulay Culkin's dad and...
231
00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:02,610
is my teacher.
232
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:03,950
Mrs.
233
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:05,890
Johnson, what do you like about her?
234
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,410
I don't know.
235
00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:08,910
There's the sweater.
236
00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,590
When she wears it, it makes everything
okay.
237
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,370
George, can you come in the kitchen,
please?
238
00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:23,510
What were you thinking, George? Going on
the internet pretending to be a 13
239
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,389
-year -old girl.
240
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,710
The FBI has a whole division looking for
guys like you.
241
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,460
I was snooping on Carmen because I was
worried about her. No, you invaded her
242
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,280
privacy. You can't do that. It's wrong.
243
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,580
I realize that. I got caught, so it's
wrong.
244
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,620
Look, I worry about her, too, but I
trust her judgment.
245
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,160
George, we can't be with her every
minute of the day.
246
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,740
Yes, we can. I saw this camera on the
Internet. Angie, it's this small.
247
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:54,200
Listen to me. We are raising her right.
And when the time comes, she'll make the
248
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,200
right decision.
249
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,130
Now I'm going to take Max to karate, and
when Carmen gets back from the movies,
250
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,130
I really think you should apologize to
her.
251
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:27,830
Are you there?
252
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:30,550
Yes, I'm here.
253
00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:32,310
I'm Carmen. Over.
254
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,670
I'm glad I got you before you left.
255
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,410
Well, here's some sucky news.
256
00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:40,490
I'm grounded, so I can't go to Stacy's
party tonight.
257
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:43,770
Yes, that is sucky.
258
00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:46,310
Good thing I'm going, right?
259
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:50,910
Yeah. Do your parents still think you're
going to the movies?
260
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:52,830
What?
261
00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,070
Of course they do those...
262
00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:01,140
Idiot. Hey, will there be alcohol there
even though we are underage?
263
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,220
Stacy's parents won't be there so
anything goes.
264
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,760
Hey, come on. I thought we were going to
watch a fight.
265
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,500
Ooh, a chat room. All right.
266
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,840
Hey, I'm going to listen to Milano on
one of those.
267
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,000
Do you know she runs a body shop in
Albuquerque?
268
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:17,740
Hey, I got to go.
269
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:18,979
Parents coming.
270
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,660
Good luck with Duncan tonight.
271
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,340
Good luck with Duncan.
272
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,900
Hey, why is there a smiley face?
273
00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:27,580
No, it's a winking face.
274
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,360
See, because it's winking.
275
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,280
Like, good luck with Duncan.
276
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,680
My God.
277
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:40,300
Come on, we're going to go break up a
party.
278
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,160
Oh, all right, breaking up a party.
279
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,080
This will make a good story for Elisa
Milano. Or maybe I should save it for
280
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,480
Liu. She's an opasso.
281
00:15:58,850 --> 00:15:59,850
Who is it?
282
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:03,310
I'm Mr. Lopez, Carmen's dad. Open the
door, I'm knocking it down on top of
283
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,389
No way.
284
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,970
Hey, hey, hey, I'm just kidding.
285
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:07,730
I bought you guys some beer.
286
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,050
All right.
287
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,430
Sorry, I left your beer in the future.
288
00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:16,930
Okay, listen up.
289
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,210
Party's over.
290
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:22,210
Nobody goes anywhere until the parents
pick them up. There's the phone right
291
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,210
there. Start calling.
292
00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:25,610
Where the hell is Carmen Lopez?
293
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,070
It's Carmen San Diego, moron.
294
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:32,770
Do me a favor. Grab some scissors and go
run around the yard.
295
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,970
Oh, my God, Dad. What are you doing
here? What the hell are you doing back
296
00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:38,869
there? Nothing.
297
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:39,870
Where's Duncan?
298
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:40,970
He left.
299
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,210
He's lucky.
300
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:44,130
Did you think you were really going to
get away with this?
301
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,630
You blew it, Carmen. You were in so much
trouble. Max is going to get punished
302
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,210
just because there's so much extra left
over.
303
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,490
Ernie, can you stick around until all
the parents come? Yeah, no problem. All
304
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:54,119
right, thanks.
305
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,120
Come on, let's go.
306
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:59,140
All right, Ernie's in charge now.
307
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,700
So, who's got a hot single mom?
308
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,920
I said hot.
309
00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:17,160
This isn't going to work, Carmen. You
just can't run up to your room and hide.
310
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,220
Especially since you don't have a key.
311
00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:24,720
Before we go in there... I want you to
know how much this is going to hurt your
312
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,460
mother. She trusted you.
313
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,820
Cry all you want, but you're never going
to see that Duncan kid again. I don't
314
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,420
care about Duncan. He's a jerk.
315
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,940
What do you mean he's a jerk? What
happened at the party?
316
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,060
He broke up with me.
317
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,320
You got what you wanted. Are you happy
now?
318
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,780
Well, it's a little hard to be happy
with all the crying.
319
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,140
Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean
you can't talk to me. I'm your father.
320
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,060
We were making out. Okay, give me a
second.
321
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,540
I'm here. I'm good.
322
00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:09,580
Then he tried to do some other stuff.
323
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:24,919
Not stupid.
324
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,480
I'm proud of you and your mom's going to
be proud of you. You did the right
325
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,400
thing tonight with that boy. You don't
understand.
326
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,600
That's all he wanted. He never liked me.
327
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,380
Ever.
328
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,480
Not the way I liked him.
329
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,660
I'm sorry, Carmen.
330
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,200
I wish I could say something to make you
feel better. You can't.
331
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,960
Maybe you could say something to make me
feel better.
332
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:09,070
Have you thought about how you're going
to raise the kids after I'm dead
333
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:10,090
sometime later this week?
334
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,530
You're not going anywhere without me.
335
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,850
Where, Angie? This kid's going to kill
me. She's 13 years old. I can't take
336
00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:18,850
three more years of this.
337
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,510
Why? What happens when she's 16?
338
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,710
We throw her in the volcano and the gods
let us live forever.
339
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:27,250
You know what, George?
340
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,930
Everything's going to be okay.
341
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,510
Is that the best you can do?
342
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:34,890
No.
343
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,130
Give me a second.
344
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,780
really learned a lesson and shall never
lie to us again.
345
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,580
Now you're talking.
346
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:51,580
You are the best father ever in the
history of parenthood. Uh -huh. Our lawn
347
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,380
is the envy of the neighborhood.
348
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,620
Damn straight.
349
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:01,780
Your mother will fall into a deep hole
where she will be very happy, but she
350
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,880
will never be able to contact.
351
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,180
in the history of the universe.
352
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:22,040
Tell me about my mom falling in the hole
again.
353
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,340
I can't believe I've helped her, Duncan.
He's such a jerk.
354
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,080
Honey, we've all been there. My first
boyfriend left me for my best friend
355
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,220
because she had bigger boobs.
27504
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