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What would we do, baby, without us?
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What would we do, baby, without us?
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And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.
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What would we do, baby, without us?
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Sha -la -la -la.
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Oh, get down, Mom. Get down here. All
right. Whoa, whoa.
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Hey, we got it. We got it. We got it.
I'm stuck.
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I'm stuck.
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I'm stuck.
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Who's stuck?
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I don't know. Maybe it's me.
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No, I'm fine.
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Then it must be me.
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Nice work, gentlemen.
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Okay.
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Now, in a matter of money, I believe
there was a fee discussed for this job.
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Ah, well, gee, Alex, all I can really
afford to give you is a dollar and a
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quarter.
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We'll call it even, Scott.
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Hey, uh, you know, Alex, this place
ain't gonna be the same without you
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mean, when I come over to talk to you,
you ain't gonna be here.
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It won't affect our conversation.
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No, Alex. Alex, he's right. We are
really going to miss you.
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You've been my best friend ever since
you moved in across the street 18 years
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ago.
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You're like a big brother to me. You've
taught me everything I know about life,
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love, romance.
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The fact that I still don't have a
girlfriend and people won't even talk to
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on the 976 party line.
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It doesn't change my feelings about you.
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Skippy, it's been a pleasure knowing
you.
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You're truly one of the most unique
people I've ever met.
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Alex, don't go.
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Come on.
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Skippy, get a grip. Oh, please, Alex,
don't go.
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This is really beautiful.
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Excuse me.
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Skippy, come on. Come on, Skippy.
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Come on.
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Look, guys, guys, get it together here,
will you?
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It's not like you're never going to see
me again.
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Yeah, that's true, Alex. I mean, I am
going to be your brother -in -law one
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Let's not jump the gun here now.
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I mean, you haven't even asked her yet,
so there's still a good possibility that
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we're not going to be related.
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Hi. Hey, Lauren.
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Hi. I heard you were leaving. Oh, yeah.
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So I stopped by a bakery to get you a
going -away cake, but they didn't have
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any. So I got you just going away muffin
instead.
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I even had them write a message on it.
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That's real sweet, Lauren. Thanks.
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Well, it was supposed to say, good luck
in the Big Apple, Alex, but that's all
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they could fit.
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Well, I think goo pretty much covers it.
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Look, I can't say long. I just wanted to
wish you all the best in New York.
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Thanks.
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So I guess you're finally going to get
your wish.
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You're going to be rich.
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$75 ,000 a year.
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Hey, you heard.
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Yeah, well, skywriting is a very
effective medium.
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Not to mention the radio ads.
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Alex Keaton, 75 grand.
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Everybody, can I have your attention,
please?
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Appearing tomorrow only at the Greenvale
Grammar School, I'd like to introduce
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to you someone who's very important in
all of our lives and a very special guy
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in his own right.
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Everyone, let's meet and greet Andrew.
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The human molar!
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Don't eat sweets or I'll turn brown.
Remember to brush me up and down.
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Yeah,
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I was so touched by it, I wrote one for
myself.
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We could walk on coal and have ninja
fighter.
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But be sure not to get gingivitis.
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Hey, this is great. We're going to have
a good time coming to see you at your
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play. Hey, hey, hey, all right, come on.
Let's go upstairs, Andy, all right?
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Let's get that costume off.
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I have a good idea. Why don't we go out
for pizza, okay, and celebrate Andy
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learning his line? Yeah.
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Also, because I forgot to get anything
out for dinner. All right, all right.
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for some pizza? Ah, pizza.
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00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:57,190
Uh, no, that sounds great, Mom, but I
got a lot of important stuff I got to do
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tonight. What stuff?
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I, you know, kind of packing up and
moving to the Big Apple kind of stuff. I
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to, uh, I got to call my landlord, make
sure I got my deposit check. I got to
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00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:08,610
make sure the electricity's turned on. I
got to call Mayor Koch about that key
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00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:09,610
to the city thing.
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Well, you know, it's only going to take
us an hour to eat. Can't you make the
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calls later?
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Uh, Mom, I just feel a little more
comfortable if I got it done tonight.
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Okay, fine.
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What, is there a problem with that?
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No, no, that's fine. Forget it.
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Well, what's the matter with you?
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I said nothing.
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Look, this is a very big deal here.
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I'm not just going across the street.
I'm picking my whole life up, and I'm
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taking it to New York. I swear that's
all I hear lately. New York! New York!
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Well, maybe you've been listening to a
little too much Sinatra.
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Wonderfully funny, Alex.
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What is going on with you, Mom?
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Ever since I got this job, you're
treating me like I'm not a member of
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family. A member of this family would be
going out for pizza because that's what
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the family is doing tonight.
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I can't believe what I'm hearing.
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00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:08,040
I have some important things to do
tonight. Why is that so hard to
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What I don't understand is the way
you've been acting ever since this whole
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business started.
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All right, Mom, fine.
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Okay, why don't you just tell me how
I've been acting?
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Like an ungrateful, arrogant, selfish,
insufferable little boy who doesn't
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have any time for his family now that
he's become such a big shot.
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00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,780
Well, if that's the way you feel about
him, Mom, that's your problem. No, no,
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Alex, that is your problem. No, that's
your problem.
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Is there a problem?
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Alex refuses to go out for pizza.
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Yeah, that's right, I do.
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Call the pizza cops. Call me away.
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Well, you guys don't have to argue. I
mean, you know, we can go out for
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food.
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I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
You should listen to this woman. She's
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being completely irrational.
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Hey, hey, don't talk to me that way.
Hold on. Hold on there, Alex. I mean,
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you're really forgetting something real
fast, you know? We have been there for
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you financially and emotionally. We put
a roof over your head and food on your
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plate for 22 years. All right, all
right. Is that what this is about? It's
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thank you?
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Well, thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad.
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But guess what?
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I don't need your food anymore.
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And I don't need your roof.
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You know, I'm not waiting until next
week to leave. I'm going to stay. I'm
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to watch Andy's play tomorrow night, and
then I'm out of here the next morning.
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Alex.
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Can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah,
sure.
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Look, Alex, your mother is really upset.
I think it would be nice if you went
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over and talked to her.
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00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,540
About what?
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00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:04,860
About whatever it is that's bothering
you two.
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00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,120
Look, Dad, I didn't do anything wrong,
okay? If anything, she should be talking
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00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,120
to me.
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00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,980
Look, Alex, Alex, please.
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I found that in dealing with your mother
in situations like this, it doesn't
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matter who's right or wrong.
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I always apologize.
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Works like crazy.
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Fine, Dad, then you apologize.
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Alex, why do you have to be so stubborn?
Why does she have to be so stubborn? I
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asked her. She answered, why do you have
to be so stubborn?
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What did you say?
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I just apologized.
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Dad, I appreciate what you're trying to
do here. I just don't feel like I have
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anything to say to her.
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Alex, this is so frustrating.
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You're just like your mother.
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Good evening, everyone. Would you all
please take your seats?
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Thank you.
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I think there are some over here.
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Great.
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The Greenvale Elementary School would
like to welcome you this evening to our
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production of The Whole Tooth and
Nothing But the Tooth.
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First grade class, weren't they darling?
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Gosh, they grow up so fast.
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And now let's welcome Mrs.
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Rubino's second grade class, who will
show us a day in the life of a baby
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00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,000
Soon it's going to be time for me to go.
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00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,680
Well, it looks like it's time for me to
go.
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00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,360
I sure wish I could get out of here.
I've got to be on Wall Street by nine.
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Tooth Fairy, come and get me.
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00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,440
Alex, what's the hurry?
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00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,880
Mom, you know, I don't think you realize
how valuable I am in the outside world.
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00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,020
Under a pillow, I'm worth as much as 25
cents.
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Even more in the open market.
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00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,640
But honey, there's so much to talk
about.
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I gotta go, Mom.
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The permanent tooth is breathing down my
neck.
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Will you come back and visit me?
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I can't be flying all over the country
for you.
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00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,420
Listen to me. Alex!
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00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,700
It's not like you don't have others.
181
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:06,520
Actually, with all your ties, it's hard
to believe you've only got one neck.
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00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,480
Hi.
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00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:20,960
Hi.
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00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,880
Why didn't you go out for ice cream with
the others?
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Just didn't feel like it?
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I didn't feel like it either.
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Well, I'll get out of your way.
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00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,460
Wait a minute, Mom.
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00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:45,200
I can't take this anymore. What did I do
to make you so upset at me?
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00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,880
Nothing. Nothing, honey.
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00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,000
I'm sorry. It's me.
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00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:56,220
It's all me. I just... Just what?
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00:12:58,079 --> 00:13:04,360
Wait, it's not that I don't want you to
be happy. It's not that I don't want you
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00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,820
to be successful and have everything you
want. I mean, I do. I want you to be
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00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:12,860
happy. I just... Just what?
196
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:21,080
Well, if I could keep you in this house
forever, I
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00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080
would.
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00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:29,750
I don't know what to say to that.
199
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:33,510
Nothing to say to that.
200
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:34,710
What do you say to that?
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00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:38,590
It's a crazy thing to think. It's a
crazy thing for a mother to think.
202
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,470
This isn't all about you.
203
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:46,550
I'm the one who's going out there.
204
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:51,330
I'm the one who's rushing into God knows
what.
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All my life.
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00:13:57,710 --> 00:13:58,750
I planned for this moment.
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00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:01,790
Alex P. Keaton.
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00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:07,690
Brilliant, young, financial executive. I
mean, that's who I'm supposed to be,
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00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:08,730
right?
210
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:13,670
What if I don't make it?
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What if it doesn't work out?
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00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,050
And I'm finished. I mean, that's it.
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00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:24,190
It was all about nothing.
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00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,860
And that scares the hell out of me. And
I don't understand why you can't
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00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:30,860
understand that.
216
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,960
I understand it, Alex.
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00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,500
You're scared.
218
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:40,240
But you're always scared or worried or
nervous about things.
219
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,260
But you always come out on top.
220
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,480
Things always work out for you.
221
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:53,200
Well, that's great, Mom. Is there
something wrong with that? I don't... Do
222
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,200
resent that?
223
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:58,040
No. No, I don't resent that.
224
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:09,100
What I do resent is the callous joy you
seem to be taking in leaving
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00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,100
this house.
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00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:13,760
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm not finished. Because if it were me
227
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,180
leaving this family, I wouldn't be
going...
228
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:32,160
Well, don't you know how hard it is for
me?
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00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:36,580
I mean, don't you know how hard it is
for me to walk out that door?
230
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,140
And every time I've left this house,
I've always come back with, this is it,
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00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,140
Mom.
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00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:47,740
And everybody else seems to understand
how hard that is for me.
233
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,860
Everybody else has been real supportive.
Dad, Jen, Mal, even Andy. But not you.
234
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,880
Damn it, why can't you be happy for me?
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You're my mother.
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00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,780
Alex Keaton's mother. That's what this
is all about.
237
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,220
Okay, so we've established that you're
my mother.
238
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:21,000
See, you don't seem to understand what
it's like for me. I feel like I'm
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00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,740
standing on something real high and
looking down at all the pieces of my
240
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,140
And I can see who I am.
241
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,520
And I see this.
242
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:38,970
This very big part of me that makes me
who I am, I see that part
243
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,370
breaking away.
244
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,110
And I know that it's right.
245
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:52,090
And I know it's supposed to happen, but
I don't want to
246
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,350
let go.
247
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,350
You're not going to lose me, Mom.
248
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:08,569
I mean, there's a lot of big changes
ahead, but... You're still my mother.
249
00:17:10,369 --> 00:17:12,290
No, I'm still Alice Keaton.
250
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:14,829
I'm still Elise Keaton's son.
251
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,190
That's right.
252
00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:22,970
That's not such a bad job.
253
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,770
Are you kidding me? I get the best mom
around.
254
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:32,290
I'm going to miss you so much.
255
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,670
Honey, I'm going to miss you too.
256
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:41,110
I'm glad you're Alex Keaton's mother.
257
00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:53,310
Um, who am I kidding? I'm not going to
sleep tonight.
258
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:58,170
Why don't we go downstairs to the
kitchen and you can buy me a cup of
259
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,340
Well, on your salary, you better be
buying.
260
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:16,080
Good morning, Andy. You want some
breakfast?
261
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,980
Coffee, black, two sugars, and step on
it.
262
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,370
This is ridiculous.
263
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,470
Farmers don't even get up this early.
264
00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:33,990
Come on, everybody.
265
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:35,610
Let's have a little spirit.
266
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:41,350
Alex is leaving. Let's just give him a
big energetic Keaton send -off, okay?
267
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:49,250
Well, it's like we're the only ones with
any stamina around here, Mom.
268
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,950
These mamby -pambys have nothing on us.
269
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:53,730
Yeah, you tired?
270
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,320
No, I'm fine, Jennifer.
271
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:04,540
Hello. Hi.
272
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,180
You're leaving today, huh?
273
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,120
That's right, ma 'am.
274
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,780
This is our last morning in this kitchen
together as housemates.
275
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,680
Next time we see each other, a new phase
of our lives will have begun.
276
00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:20,300
I'll be able to buy and sell you.
277
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,080
Drop me a line.
278
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:26,940
Oh, there's my cat.
279
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,440
Oh.
280
00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:33,940
Oh, so, uh... I guess this is it, huh?
281
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:36,880
It's a big send -off.
282
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:43,100
Uh, yeah. Listen, I don't need any big
send -offs. I really couldn't take a big
283
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:47,280
emotional scene right now, so, um... Why
don't we just take our leave in a
284
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,640
manner befitting the youngest executive
at O 'Brien, Mathers & Clark?
285
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:53,820
Yeah? Well?
286
00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:55,650
In that spirit, goodbye, son.
287
00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:57,430
Goodbye, Dad.
288
00:19:57,950 --> 00:19:59,870
Remember, you still owe me $74 .50.
289
00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,370
Well, it's been fun.
290
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:05,790
A million laughs.
291
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:08,950
Pleasure working with you.
292
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,790
Thanks. See you, pal.
293
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:21,210
Hey, send me a picture of the first guy
you step on as you climb up the
294
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:22,210
corporate ladder.
295
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:32,500
Just tell her I'm gone and you don't
know where I am.
296
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,899
Oh, hey.
297
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,860
Hey, I wanted to give you something.
298
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:42,920
You'd be surprised what a splash of
color will do.
299
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:50,400
Hey, whoever called for the cab, the
meter's running. Ah, yeah, that's me.
300
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,200
You know, I like the red.
301
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,080
It makes you look like somebody.
302
00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:58,550
Uh -huh.
303
00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:03,650
Uh, well.
304
00:21:05,650 --> 00:21:06,650
Yeah, this is it.
305
00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,050
Goodbye.
306
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,250
Goodbye. Bye.
307
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:12,670
Bye. Bye.
308
00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:14,690
Adios. Bye.
309
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:18,390
See you later. Right on.
310
00:21:18,630 --> 00:21:19,630
Safe trip.
311
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,250
We'll call you guys. Okay.
312
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,010
We'll be talking to you. Bye. Bye.
313
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,120
I love you guys.
314
00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:52,460
Next on KSWB, get wacky with Jackie.
Jackie Chan Adventures, just part of
315
00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:56,500
WB. And at 5, stay tuned for the magic
of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. There's a
316
00:21:56,500 --> 00:22:01,460
full afternoon right ahead on KSWB, San
Diego's WB. Watch the frog.
317
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:02,960
Sit, Ubu, sit.
318
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,440
Good dog.
25249
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