All language subtitles for family_ties_s07e21_rain_forests_keep_falling_on_my_head

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Gabardine.

Uncanny.

Incredible. Here, let me try. Let me.

Poplin.

Whoa.

Let me try.

Ah, it's polyester.

Hey, hey.

Is everybody okay? It sounds like
someone's being tortured in here.

I was. They made me touch polyester. It
was disgusting.

Hey, that's my favorite tie.

What's in the box, Alex?

Something for you, buddy.

What is it? Well, I'm not going to tell
you. You've got to guess. But I'll give

you a few clues, okay?

Let me see.

It's alive.

It repeats what it's told.

And it spends most of its time behind
bars.

That's not fair, Alex. That could be
anyone in the Reagan administration.

The guy at the pet store said he can be
trained to climb stairs, to ring a bell,

to play dead, and he can speak over 300
different words.

That's 50 more than you.

When he can coordinate separates, Alex,
you call me.

I'm going to go upstairs and show my
room. All right, you do that.

Hi. Hey, you're home kind of late from
school, aren't you? Yeah, it's... after

to go over some things with my natural
science teacher, Mrs. McGreevy. We've

this terrific new unit we're studying,
global ecology.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

Sounds fascinating.

Oh, it really is. It's all about how the
Earth's ecological systems are being

upset by man's stupid interference.

See, look, we even have this map on the
world's most endangered areas.

Whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Let
me see that.

All right, I'm safe. What's for dinner?

Okay.

No, you're not safe, Alex. You see, the
world is one big living organism, and

everyone in it is in danger.

You see, we're destroying the rainforest
in Brazil, the wildlife in Madagascar,

and the ozone layer over the South Pole.
Do you know what that means?

Of course I do.

It means those are bad places to invest
in timeshare condos.

It's too bad, too, because the South
Pole was a real comer.

No, it means that money grubbers are
destroying the world for profit.

That's our girl who said that.

Hey, I happen to like money grubbers.

It's our boy who said that.

Come on, Faith and Jen, there's just a
price to be paid for progress.

But how high a price, Alex?

I mean, the climate is changing.

You know, we're headed for one long,
hot, endless summer.

What will I do with all my dark colors?

God, Elise, this is just like the old
days. Remember when we celebrated the

first Earth Day? How could I ever
forget?

As you may know, your father and I
played crucial roles in saving the

No. If there isn't a wombat alive today,
they'll forget us.

Save the wombat, Lord.

Kumbaya.

Save the wombat, Lord.

I'm sorry, but all these... have to go.
I'm sorry, too.

What are they?

Things I found around the house that are
harmful to the environment.

I mean, if we're going to save the
planet, then we're going to have to

much more ecologically aware around
here.

I didn't realize we had so much of this
stuff.

It's so easy to become complacent. But
Jen's right.

Gotta go.

Especially this.

Jennifer, that's my hair conditioner.

Mallory, it has formaldehyde. It gets
into our water supply, and along with a

bunch of other contaminants, kills our
fish, and will destroy the entire

ecosystem.

What good is an ecosystem if I have
split ends?

Mallory, you can use another brand.

Hope your ecosystems are happy.

Now, come on, let's face it, gang. Even
though some of these things make our

lives easier, I'm sure... Sure, we can
do without them. Yeah, we just have to

find some safe alternatives.

Now, who's going to help me make the
tofu tacos?

Wait, Mom, you weren't going to use a
stove, were you?

Well, sure.

Maybe.

No, why not?

Mom, gas stoves give off carbon monoxide
and nitrogen dioxide gases.

I mean, those are both major pollutants.

Well, we don't have to pollute to eat.

Tofu tacos are just as good cold.

I'd eat them anyway you serve them,
dear. Fortunately, I have a ham sandwich

left over from last night's takeout.

Dan, I can't believe you did that.

All right, I'll eat the cold tofu.

No, you accepted that container and
supported the production of polystyrene

foam.

I didn't mean it, I swear.

Do you know what happens when that
container breaks down?

It gives off chemicals that have caused
a hole in the ozone layer the size of

the continental United States.

You're absolutely right. At least how
many times have I told you this damn

polystyrene foam is a hazard?

Let's get rid of this stuff. Let's get
it out of here right now.

Well, Dad, you just can't throw it away.

Well, I can't. Of course not. What was I
thinking?

We'll put it on the lawn and make an
example of it.

No, you... You just can't put it in the
trash because it's not biodegradable. I

mean, eventually it'll poison our
neighborhood soil and groundwater.

All right, all right.

Believe me, no choice.

I'll build an atom smasher.

Oh, forget it. Maybe there's no answer.

In that case, I'll just be using my air
conditioner.

I'd like to talk to you about the
Brazilian rainforest.

As you may have read, we're burning down
the rainforest and killing the whole

species in the process.

And not just the big animals that get
all the publicity, like tigers and

monkeys, but little guys like you, who
shouldn't be brushed aside just so

someone can build another polluted, ugly
highway.

And I really hate that.

And I know you do, too.

Hello. Dippy wants a cracker.

I'm sorry, but they use fossil fuels for
baking them.

Oh, Jen, you'll never guess what we
found.

An incredible store that sells nothing
but non -polluting, non -toxic, non

-hazardous products.

Sounds great, Dad.

Mallory even found something in the
vegetable cosmetics department.

Yeah, I got eggplant eyeliner, lentil
lip gloss, and rutabaga rouge.

I think I'm going to put them on right
now.

And then maybe I'll eat them.

Oh, wait, wait, there's something I want
to show Jim. Oh, no, Mom, it's probably

the beet blush. I'll just, I'll show it
to you later. No, no, no, it's the,

um... Oh, wait.

Where did this come from?

Oh, right. I ran across the street to
pollutants R .S., okay?

Nice try.

Fine. You want my hair au naturel?

I'll just go stick my head in the
crisper.

How was your day, honey? All right, I
guess. I just watched some TV.

Well, what about your tree planting
rally to remedy the greenhouse effect?

Wasn't that today?

Yeah. I called it off, though.

Why? I thought that was a terrific idea.

I started to think that these problems
are just too big.

I mean, every day more and more forests
are being destroyed, more ultraviolet

rays are getting through, and the Earth
is just getting hotter and hotter. I

know. I watched the Weather Channel all
day, and the temperature just kept going

up and up.

You know, Jennifer, look, we understand
what you're going through.

It's easy to get depressed when you see
what's happening to the world. But we

just want you to know you should feel
free to talk to us about any of this.

We're on your side.

Thanks, Dad, but there's nothing to talk
about.

I mean, talking doesn't solve anything.

Look, you know, maybe we've all been
focusing too much on this environmental

thing, huh? Let's just get it off our
minds for a while and relax.

That's a good idea. While we watch some
TV, I'll make some popcorn.

Maybe there'll be a game on. Oh, there
is.

Yanks and the Indians. What do you say,
Jen? Come on.

Okay, anything but the weather channel.
It's depressing.

You got it. Come on, let's see what we
got here, honey.

And now for today's news update.

All right, this game should be on any
minute.

Good evening.

Rescue and cleanup efforts continue
tonight in Prince William Sound in an

attempt to contain the damage caused by
the massive oil spill from a

supertanker. God, I can't watch this.

Unfortunately, some experts predict that
the effects of the spill may now be

irreversible as numbers of oil -soaked
birds, otters, and fish wash ashore.

it off. I can't watch this.

I mean, Jennifer's getting entirely out
of hand with all this ecological

business.

Yeah, I got to admit, I do miss
Mallory's old hair conditioner.

All right, listen, Jennifer's gone
completely over the edge.

And I'm surprised, because I thought if
anyone in this family was going to flip

out, it would have been Alex.

Oh, that hurts.

Especially coming from somebody who
looks like they've just been

That's the third time he's done that.
And yesterday, he called George Bush a

bird brain.

I wonder how southern fried parakeet
tastes.

You know, I really am worried about
Jennifer.

When I try to talk to her, all she gives
me are statistics.

The more statistics she gives, the more
depressed she seems to get.

I'm worried, too. She makes me wear
sunscreen when I go outside.

Yeah, she won't come downstairs anymore
because she's worried about the radon

gas buildup on the first floor. I mean,
she won't even think about going into

the basement.

How do we know if there's radon in the
basement?

Well, I'm sure we could find out, Andy.

But if we were coal miners, I suppose
we'd take a canary down with us because

the gas would affect the canary first.

Really?

What?

It's going to take Dickie for a wonky.

I hope we're not overreacting here.
Jennifer's always been a very sensitive

girl, and it's easy to get emotional
about the environment.

No, I don't know. I'm sure it'll pass.

See?

It's good to see you, Jen.

That is you, isn't it?

Yeah, I don't think that mask goes with
those pajamas.

It's one degree hotter today than it was
in 1956.

Jen, shouldn't you be dressed? You're
supposed to be in school in half an

I don't really feel like going today,
Mom.

Say, Alex, would you mind doing Andy's
carpool and dropping Mallory off to

school, too? I'm not ready to leave just
yet. Sure, Dad. Come on. Come on,

buddy. Okay. Come on, Mal. Fit you in
the car somehow.

Stick your head through the sunroof.

Jennifer, your mom and I would like to
talk to you a minute.

Sure.

We're a little worried about the way
you're dealing with this ecology issue.

You mean how I'm dealing with the end of
the world?

Yes.

You're not handling it well.

Who could?

I mean, it really...

we do seem really stupid and pointless.

I mean, why go to school?

Why have a career?

Why raise a family? It's all going to be
over in a few years anyway.

I mean, it's all hopeless.

Honey, it's not hopeless.

Well, you just don't seem to really be
able to open up to us very much. Maybe

you should talk to someone else.

Maybe the school counselor, you know?

I'm sure he's dealt with this before.

Dealt with what?

Now, these problems are not in my head.

They're real.

I have written documents. Now, if you
guys want to ignore all the horrible

things that are going on in this world,
then you need to see the school

counselor, not me.

Look, we're not ignoring the facts.
We're not denying the problems.

But our most important problem is your
health.

And this is taking too much of a toll on
you. It's got to stop.

I really think you should see the
counselor.

All right, fine.

I'll go see him, but he's going to find
out that I'm a normal 16 -year -old

student with realistic concerns.

And if his radon level is over 4 .0, I'm
out of there.

So this portion of the eastern seaboard
has been completely devastated by acid

rain. Not to mention the environmental
catastrophe that European forests have

suffered from lack of industrial
control. Jennifer, I'm sure that that's

true, and we all realize that the
environment is a big issue.

But I'd like to digress just for a
moment, if we could.

Let's talk about your social life.

You like boys?

Yeah.

Especially boys who don't burn fossil
fuels.

Pardon me?

Well, drive.

Cars burn fossil fuels.

I like boys who don't drive because they
don't pollute.

See, car emissions are leaving a layer
of carbon dioxide above the earth that

will eventually trap the heat and cook
us.

Okay, so you like boys.

Oh, what about sport?

Music?

Mr. Hilgenberg, I don't see what this
has to do with anything.

I am concerned about what is happening
to our environment, and I think I have

reason to be.

What I'm trying to get at, Jennifer, is
that what you're saying may be true, but

you seem to be obsessed by it.

No, I'm not obsessed.

Look, it's perfectly normal at your age.
The same thing happens to students when

they're exposed to violently graphic
safe driving films or explicit

about the effects of nuclear war.

They tend to dwell on it. The important
thing for you to remember is that...

Your fears are more debilitating than
the actual problem.

You know, maybe with a car accident or a
nuclear war, because that might never

happen. But right this minute, we are
surrounded by a zillion different life

-threatening influences.

Like what?

Okay, well, let's take a look at your
office.

Okay. I've already mentioned the radon
level.

How about microwave?

From where?

Well, from your computer terminal.

It looks innocent enough, but studies
show that waves similar... of the waves

given off by video display terminals can
alter fetal development in animals.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, but come on. I mean, how many
animals use computers, right?

Did I mention the electromagnetic waves
it emits?

I mean, it's been shown that the
government's acceptable exposure limits

exceeded by merely touching the screen
or sides of the terminal.

You know, I never really learned how to
use this thing anyway.

Or how about the air conditioner?

It's spewing ozone -destroying freon gas
into the atmosphere as we speak.

Why don't we shut this thing off?

I haven't even covered the contaminants
in our drinking water.

It's causing these big, horrible tumors
in our fish.

Or how about the ultraviolet rays that
are pouring through this window right

now? Hey!

Stop!

What's wrong?

I can't take this. You're depressing me.

Well, I am sorry, Mr. Helgenberg. I
didn't mean to. Well, you did. I mean, I

having a perfectly nice day, and then
you come into my office, and you tell me

that everything around me is hazardous.

And I believe you.

I was just giving you the facts.

The facts are bleak. They're terrifying.

They're horrible.

Let's face it.

It's over.

You're some counselor.

Well, look, I wouldn't exactly say that
it's over.

Oh, no? Well, if it's not, prove it to
me. What can we do to possibly change

anything?

Come in.

Stephen, listen.

The whales.

They're so...

By God, you're right.

That's humpbacks by moonlight.

We haven't heard that in years.

Must have been hard to slow dance to.

Try humming it.

Mr. Hilgenberg called. He's feeling
better, but... He's thinking

of moving to New Zealand.

Gosh, I didn't mean to upset him like
that.

He looked terrible.

He was pale and tense.

I made the school counselor go see the
school nurse.

Well, look on the bright side. Some good
did come out of it. You made him aware.

Oh, you've rekindled our commitment.

Things have changed for the better
around here.

With the exception of your mother's
reckless use of the gas stove.

But you guys weren't there.

I mean, you didn't see the look on his
face when he asked me, what can we do?

And I didn't have an answer for him.

There is no easy answer, honey.

Oh, when we first became interested in
saving the Earth, well, we didn't know

anything about the ozone problem, and
the rainforest seemed relatively safe.

But the stuff that we did know about...

Air and water pollution and saving the
whales.

Well, no one else seemed to really care
about it. It was all just the beginning

and everyone thought it was made up by
hippies and crackpots.

But the problems are so much worse now.

That's why they need more commitment.

You can't allow yourself to get
overwhelmed.

You're so bright, you're so aware.

You can't afford to lose you in the
struggle.

I just don't know if I could really make
a difference.

What about the effect you had on Mr.
Hilgenberg?

I made a move to an island with sheep.

Well, that probably would have happened
anyway.

Look, you can make a difference.

But you don't have to do it by yourself.
There are organizations you can join.

Maybe you want to become a member of
Sierra Club or Greenpeace. Hey, look,

someday you may head up Greenpeace. Oh,
I'd like that. That way I know my

grandchildren's world in safe hands.

Hi, Jen.

Listen, we tested the basement and
there's no radon.

So you can come downstairs now.

Oh, she'd be happy to know. I found a
conditioner that's ecologically safe.

Provides the luster and sheen that my
hair's grown accustomed to.

There is hope.

I taught Dickie how to say something.
Dickie, say it. Come on, Dickie. Say it,

Dickie.

Thank you, Andy.

I'll do my best.

Watch the Frog.

Don't go away. There's more family ties
coming up in less than 30 seconds. And

tonight at 6, check out San Diego's
favorite comedy lineup. That's right.

Friends, Will and Grace, and everybody
loves Raymond.

Smile. You're watching San Diego's home
for comedy, KSWB. Watch the Frog.

Good dog.