All language subtitles for family_ties_s07e11_get_me_to_the_living_room_on_time

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha la la la.

Can I help you?

Can't you see I'm trying to work here?

What is it, honey?

Well, I'm really struggling trying to
find a new idea for a documentary.

It's been two weeks, I haven't come up
with anything.

The problem is, honey, you're competing
with a lot of your earlier work. It's

hard to top some of the things you've
already done.

I must admit, they were very good.

In recognition of excellence, For the
documentary, The Automatic

Milking Machine.

The day the cows dried out.

That one made me cry.

Perhaps my best work.

So you think you know your hat.

Are my friends here yet?

No, not yet, honey, but I have your milk
and cookies all ready.

Okay. Wait a minute. Wait, hey.

Milk and cookies?

Wait, milk?

Milk? Cows?

Milking machines.

Don't you... Wait a minute. I've done
that.

I've done it all.

Hey. Dad, I think I've got it. How about
a documentary on teenage sex?

As far as you're concerned, there's no
such thing as teenage sex.

Okay, they're my friends.

Hi, sweetheart.

Your directions were...

Perfect.

These are my friends, Joseph Simmons and
Eva Martin.

Gee, they're so old.

Maybe they got left back a little.

Andy, you did tell your parents that
we're from the retirement center, didn't

you? Oh, the retirement center. Andy's
class visits there every week. It's a

school project. Oh, please, please, come
in, come in. Sit down.

No, welcome.

I'm Stephen Keaton, Andy's father.

It's so nice to meet you. This is my
wife, Elise. Oh, excuse me. I feel as

though I know the family already.

I'll bet that's Jennifer.

You're Mallory. And you must be Alex.

Alex, you know, everyone at the center
is so grateful to you for teaching Andy

to fill out our tax returns.

Who would guess you could deduct prunes?

Well, see you later. Bye.

Bye -bye.

Andy really seems to enjoy visiting you
at the center.

Oh, well, Andy's become a very good
friend.

You know, you can't imagine how nice it
is to have a lively visitor each week.

We're running a little low, Andy. I'll
go get some more. Great.

According to Andy, so many activities,
you hardly have a moment free.

Well, Mrs.

Clark, the director of the center, she
believes that seniors should always be

kept busy. If you're not busy, she'll
lecture you until you chase her off with

shuffleboard stick.

Then she's happy.

Well,

it seems like you lead a really full
life at the center. Oh, well, you know

it is.

Nothing is perfect.

Neither is perfect.

Excuse me, but we've done nothing but
talk about ourselves since we came in.

no, no, don't apologize. It's been very
interesting, and I think you may have

solved a problem for me.

How about a documentary about a first
grader visiting a retirement center?

Oh, I think that's a good idea.

No, it feels very good, especially since
Americans are living so much longer

now, and I could personalize it by
focusing in on you two and your lives.

What did I tell you, Eva?

Stick with me, kid. I got you in show
business.

Hi, Joseph. Hi, Eva.

Oh, hello, Andy. Hello, Stephen. Oh,
Sam, this is Stephen Keaton.

He's making a documentary about Andy and
all of us people at the center here.

Oh, nice.

This is Jack McDowell, my cameraman.
Jack is going to be taking some

footage today.

Keaton. Keaton.

I know your work. You did the
documentary with a hat.

They show that every year. That's one of
my favorites.

Thank you. You know, I'm no film critic,
but it seems to me in a half hour about

hats, you could throw in a pair of
socks.

Mr. Keaton?

I'm Mrs. Clark. We spoke on the
telephone.

Oh, very nice to meet you. Yes, we
appreciate your giving us permission to

here. Oh, not at all. But please
remember the conditions.

Try to keep the noise down.

Don't interfere with any of the
organized activities.

And if you overstimulate any of the
seniors, I'll have to ask you to leave.

Don't worry about the overstimulation.

He did the thing with the hats.

Well, look, here's how I'd like to
start. Andy, I want you to sit with

and Eva.

And what am I, an end table?

And Sam, and I will ask you some
questions.

Very good, okay?

Okay. Good.

All right.

Andy, what's it like coming to the
retirement center?

Well, the first thing I've noticed,
everybody's older than me.

What do you like best about being here?

Well, I like it when they tell me
stories.

Joseph, tell the story of how you met
Eva.

Ah, Andy, you know, when my wife died, I
moved in with my son, David.

Well, we didn't get along too well, so
eventually we decided that I should move

in here to the center.

I get along with my dad very well. Hi,
Dad.

Hi.

So one day, we were all sitting around
here, you know, just like every other

day. Then all of a sudden, in walks the
most beautiful vision you have ever seen

in your life.

That must have been Eva. It sure was.

And I noticed Joseph right away, too.

And you know, then, I knew right away
that I'd met the woman that I was going

marry. And someday we will.

Not someday, Eva.

Time goes by too quickly.

Will you marry me?

Did you get that?

Joseph, my answer is yes.

Well, I don't believe that. God, God.

Wonderful.

Hey, Leslie.

Hey, Dan.

Pretty festive in here. What's all this?

Well, can't you see, son?

We're in the movies.

Hi, I'm Stephen Keaton.

WKS. David Simmons.

So what are you taping here?

Well, we're doing a documentary on life
here at the center. And, well, we just

captured a very, very special moment on
tape. Well, Joseph, I'm sure you'd like

to tell your son.

Well, David, my boy.

What is it, Bob?

Well, Eva and I are going to get
married.

Well, come on. Kiss the bride.

Come on. Seriously, Dad, what's going
on?

I am serious.

I mean, we've got the honeymoon planned.

You bet. They're going to a retirement
center in Hawaii.

You are serious about this.

Hey, Pop.

Just wait a minute. Look.

Okay, it's crazy.

You two cannot get married.

You can't move out of the center.

Well, how are you going to take care of
yourself?

I'm not going to take care of myself. I
am going to take care of Eva. And Eva is

going to take care of me.

Who's going to take care of me?

David, I'm not going to let anything
happen to your father.

Eva, with all due respect, I don't think
this thing can possibly work out.

I don't have to listen to this.

Let's go, Eva.

Dad?

Turn it for the water cooler's empty.
Will you help me with the new bottle?

Sure.

Oh, God,

these things are heavy.

Yeah, maybe we should wait. Let Mom do
it.

We can do it.

Mallory, you have to take the top off. I
know we have to take the top off. I

can't get my hand off of it.

Wait, Jennifer, please, hold on. No,
wait, my hand's right underneath it.

Come on.

No, no, you can't. I can't hold it.

Ladies, you want to hurry up with this,
please? I'm thirsty.

Alex, you could give us a hand, you
know.

What, are you kidding me? I don't touch
this. The way a mom gets home.

Alex. All right, all right, all right,
all right. All right, come on. We know.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. All right.

No, wait. You're going to reveal it.

I'll get it.

No, I'll get it. No, I'm getting it. I'm
right here. All right, all right.

We'll all get it, okay? We'll all get
it.

Hi, kids.

Is your dad home?

He's not in right now. He should be back
shortly.

Care for a drink?

Well, no, thanks.

Do you mind if we wait for him?

No, I'm fine. Come on.

You need some help.

That's all right. There we go.

There's no trouble. Eva does it all the
time. Well, we appreciate it. We got it.

Okay. All right. Come here. Do you hear
me?

All right.

Bring it up. Just bring it up. Hey,
guys.

Hey. Oh, boy.

That girl.

Joseph, Eva, great to see you. Getting
ready for the big day?

Well, yes, we've actually just been
taking a walk.

And discussing the wedding plans.

Oh, you must be so excited. I remember
what it was like before our wedding.

It must have been very beautiful.

Oh, it was.

Outside in Golden Gate Park, all our
friends were there with guitars,

singing, everyone was crying.

Oh, well, weddings can be very
emotional.

No, it's a tear gas.

Our wedding was held in the middle of a
protest.

Was it political?

No, it was her father.

I know what you mean. We're having some
family problems, too.

I understand your son David isn't making
this easy for you. Well, I don't know

what it is. I mean, why can't he be
happy for me?

I've tried to talk about it with him,
but somehow we can't communicate.

We were wondering if maybe you could
talk to him, Stephen.

Well, Joseph, Eve, I...

I'd love to help, but I don't know how I
could. I mean, I barely know your son.

But you can relate to him. I mean,
you're more his age, and you speak his

kind of lingo.

Besides, who can we go to?

We're all alone except for the few
people we know at the center.

Please, Stephen, we could really use
some help.

David comes to the center every Thursday
to visit.

All right. I'll try. I'll try, but I'm
not sure what I'm going to say. Oh,

you. Thank you.

Now we can go on with our walk.

Oh, it's lovely that you dropped by.
Please come in any time. Goodbye.

See you Thursday.

I'll be there. Thanks a lot. You bet.
Bye.

What was that all about?

Well, Joseph and Eva want to get
married.

But his son, David, is adamantly opposed
to the idea.

Oh, well.

I'm sure he has his reasons. I mean, you
know, caring for an elderly parent,

that's an awesome responsibility.

How would you know?

Come on, Mom, I'm giving this a lot of
thought, you know, and I think that

children have an obligation to plan for
the day when their parents become a

burden on society.

I mean, God knows I have.

Well, that's a relief, Alex. Your mother
and I were afraid we were going to be

set adrift on an ice floe.

Dad, Mom, I promise you, that's a last
resort.

When your time comes, I'm going to make
sure you get put into the most

comfortable, elegant retirement center
available.

Honey, honey, we're not going to live in
a retirement center.

We're going to live with you.

Well, then it's the ice floe.

Joseph, Kiva, hi.

Oh, hello, Stephen.

Where's your camera?

Well, Sam, I'm here to pay a little
social call today.

Oh, that's great, and I got all made up.

I didn't notice anything different.

Didn't you see what I did with my hair?

I parted it on the other side.

Of the room.

Oh!

Randy, can I have a word with you? Oh,
sure, sure, sir.

What is it?

Well, first of all, I want to thank you
very much for coming.

And David is going to be here soon.

Well, I just hope I can do some good.

Well, I'm sure you will be able to, but
just if by chance you should run into

any kind of a difficulty, I've just
prepared a short list of points you

want to make.

David, remember when you were seven
years old and I bought you that bicycle?

Thank you, but I don't think it'll come
to this.

Hello, Dad. Ah, hello, David. My, this
is a surprise.

Who would have expected you to be here
today?

What are you talking about? He comes
every Thursday.

Why don't you go part your hair on the
other side of the room?

I know where I'm not wanted.

You could cry on my shoulder, Sam.

Come on, sweet potato.

Say, David, can I speak to you for a
minute?

Yeah, sure.

Look,

I...

I realize you have an objection to your
father and Eva getting married, but I'd

like you to reconsider your position.

Now, from what I can see, wouldn't a
marriage make the rest of their golden

years more fulfilling and rewarding?

Look, I appreciate your concern, but I
don't see how it's any of your business.

David, remember when you were seven and
I bought you that bicycle?

Dad?

If you have something to say to me, you
want to try saying it yourself.

I have.

Why are you so stubborn?

Why can't you accept Eva? She's a
wonderful woman.

And she's so like your mother.

She's nothing like my mother.

You obviously don't remember Mom. You
don't want to remember Mom. You want to

get married and move on and forget she
ever existed.

Oh, so that's what all this is about.

David, don't you know I think of your
mother every living day?

Don't you think that she'd want me to be
happy?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, look, look, maybe I should go now.

No.

No, maybe I should.

How'd he go?

Oh, he's impossible.

But I don't care anymore.

He is not going to ruin our happiness.
We are going to get married, Eva.

And we're going to get married right
here in this center.

Well, maybe we could fix up a little.

Throw something over Sam.

If you do anything, you lose the whole
look of the room.

I just wish it could be more like
family.

Look, Josephine, I think my family would
be honored if you'd consider having a

wedding at our house.

Thank you.

Oh, Stephen, thank you very much.

Andrew, what wedding's lovely?

I don't know.

Joseph and Eva are the first one in my
crowd to get married.

So, my father tells me you're something
of a card player.

Oh, well, I'm nothing special.

You play?

Me? No.

No.

I'd like to learn, though. Me, too.

Black Mariah Lobo with a split?

When I jacked Kings with the Axe?

David. I didn't think you'd come.

Well, up until a few minutes ago,
neither did I.

If you've come here to try to stop me,
don't.

Oh, no.

No, I'm dead.

Listen, I thought a lot about what you
said.

Dad, you were right.

Mom would want you to be happy, and I do
too.

And I think that Eva is a wonderful
woman.

So congratulations.

Thank you, David.

This means more to me than you will ever
know.

Listen, if you can possibly forgive me,
I'd love to be your best man.

There's no better best man in this room.

Mom, the bride's ready.

Oh, oh.

Joseph, Eva is ready. We can start now.
We can start now.

There's one thing I have to ask you
before you go down there.

Did anyone talk to you about the wedding
night?

My mother told me 50 years ago.

I still think I remember some of the
basics.

Friends, we are gathered here to witness
a very special union.

A union that lends credence to the
immeasurable power of love.

Joseph Simmons and Eva Martin will be
married here today.

And now Joseph and Eva would like to
express in their own words their

at this moment.

Eva, at a time when most men are only
thinking...

of the life that is behind them, your
love and friendship have given me a gift

beyond compare.

The future.

Joseph, before I met you, there were
seconds, minutes, hours,

but they were only ticks of a clock.

Now each moment is a precious jewel to
be cherished because it'll be shared

you.

And so by the power vested in me by the
state of Ohio, I pronounce you husband

and wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure
to present for the very first time Mr.

and Mrs. Joseph Simmons.

I'm so glad we had the wedding here.

The house just feels full of love.

You ever seen a more beautiful bride?

Only once, Liz.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.