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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,550 --> 00:00:08,850 What would we do, baby, without us? 2 00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:14,570 What would we do, baby, without us? 3 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:20,470 And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. 4 00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:26,150 What would we do, baby, without us? 5 00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:28,170 Sha -la -la -la. 6 00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:32,250 Hey, Dan, let me carry those. Alex, don't be ridiculous. 7 00:00:32,530 --> 00:00:35,270 Oh, come on, Stephen. You're not supposed to carry heavy things. You just 8 00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:36,109 heart attack. 9 00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:37,110 Elise, please. 10 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:40,850 Everyone, do me a favor. I don't want to hear the words heart attack. 11 00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:44,330 Well, Mom's right, Dad. I mean, you shouldn't overexert yourself since, you 12 00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:47,410 know, you had the... H thingy. 13 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,050 Look, I had a... H thingy. 14 00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:58,110 But I'm doing fine now. It's not as if I'm going to, um... 15 00:00:58,869 --> 00:00:59,869 D thingy. 16 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,090 Stephen, I think you're slowly losing your M thingy. 17 00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:09,650 What's for dessert, Mom? 18 00:01:10,010 --> 00:01:13,470 Oh, I made some chocolate pudding. Oh, good. I love chocolate pudding. Oh, no, 19 00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:14,830 that's not for you. This is your dessert. 20 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:16,950 Seaweed bran pudding. 21 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:20,790 Leif, this was my main course. 22 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,290 Not with plankton whip. 23 00:01:26,450 --> 00:01:27,450 Mm -mm. 24 00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:32,560 Hi. Sorry I'm late. Oh, hi. Honey, thanks for the ride, Skippy. Hi, 25 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,700 Hey, Skippy, would you like to join us for some dessert? 26 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,120 Uh, no thanks, Mrs. Keaton. I think I'm just going to go back to my house, go up 27 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,180 to my room, and carry on with my pointless and totally lackluster life. 28 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,120 Say hello to your parents. 29 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,300 Skippy, is something wrong? 30 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,520 Not something, Mrs. Keaton. It's just everything. 31 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,740 Today was career day at Grant. 32 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:54,040 We got the results of our job aptitude test. 33 00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:55,880 How'd you do, Mel? Oh, great. 34 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,060 They said I'm good at shopping, exchanging, and gift wrapping. 35 00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,820 Well, let's just hope you use your power for good instead of evil. 36 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 How'd you do, Skip? 37 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,360 Oh, not bad. Not bad. I did fine. 38 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,280 Oh, yeah? What are you good at? 39 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,520 Converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 40 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:22,500 There's a real future in that, Skip. 41 00:02:23,380 --> 00:02:25,360 Oh, let's face it. I've hit my peak. 42 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,180 It's all downhill from here. 43 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,520 Oh, come on, Skip. Come on, it'll work out. Why don't you come out with me for 44 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,420 dessert? No, thanks, Mr. K. Are you sure? 45 00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:35,760 I'm going to Baskin -Robbins. 46 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,140 Stephen, don't you dare. 47 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,320 I'm just going to fondle some sherbet. 48 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:45,200 Cheer up, Skippy. Look, you brought him all those career brochures. I'm sure 49 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,420 there's something in there for you. 50 00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:47,820 Maybe you're right. 51 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:49,960 Join the circus. 52 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,020 Become a human cannonball. 53 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,980 Gee, Skip, it says you'd be good at that. 54 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,320 Oh, no, it's hopeless. 55 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,980 I'll never have a career. Maybe I should just go into business with my father. 56 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,260 Oh, what is he doing these days? 57 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:06,640 He's retired. 58 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,660 Come on, Skippy, look at all these career opportunities. 59 00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:17,400 Uh, computer technician, dental assistant, bookkeeping, chimney sweep. 60 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,860 Hey, look at this one, the army. 61 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,840 Don't run away from chimney sweep. 62 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,320 Look at this. It says you can travel all over the world, meet new and 63 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,360 interesting people, work with state -of -the -art technology. 64 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,860 Come on, Skip. You're really not the army type. 65 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,620 What are you talking about? It's in my blood. 66 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:38,200 One of my relatives was a famous revolutionary war hero, Lieutenant 67 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,100 Hamelman. He was the first American soldier to be captured by his own 68 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,080 Skip, be serious here, you know. That's a very big step you're talking about. 69 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:55,450 This is the dawn of a new, tough... courageous, independent Skippy 70 00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:57,810 Alex, will you come with me? 71 00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,070 Good afternoon. 72 00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,910 I'm Sergeant Davis. Can I help you, gentlemen? 73 00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:11,670 Yeah, hi, Sergeant Davis. I'm Alex P. Keaton, and this is Erwin Handelman. 74 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,810 Erwin, I'd like to join the Army. 75 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:15,330 Well, that's good, Erwin. 76 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,810 What makes you interested in the Army? 77 00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,390 I want to be a man, sir. 78 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,810 Well, we can't promise anything, Erwin. 79 00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,270 But we'll do our best. 80 00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,170 And what about you, Alex? 81 00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:34,350 Why do you want to join the Army? Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm really... 82 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:37,930 not the military type, Sergeant. I'm a business major. 83 00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:42,090 Oh, well, then perhaps you'll want to join our new elite fighting force, the 84 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,090 Airborne Accounting Corps. 85 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,310 The soldiers of fiscal warfare. 86 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,640 See, we drop these troops behind hostile territory and they screw up the enemy's 87 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:54,640 books. 88 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,680 Well, actually, sir, I'm from a family of fiscal pacifists. 89 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,480 That's too bad. Why don't you guys have a seat? 90 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,340 Erwin, let me ask you a few questions about yourself. 91 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,660 Okay. Shoot. 92 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,240 Age? Twenty. 93 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,520 Any law violations? 94 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,650 Well, some people say I violate the laws of natural selection. 95 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,310 Education? 96 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:29,810 Two years of college. 97 00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,250 Oh, that's great. Where? 98 00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:32,409 Grant College. 99 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:33,410 Oh. 100 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:42,050 Well, uh, Sergeant Davis, Grant College, well, being an institute of lower 101 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,890 learning, has produced some fine military prospects. 102 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:51,310 In fact, may I remind you, sir, that Grant College is named for Ulysses S. 103 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:52,330 Grant. 104 00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:53,850 Or possibly Lou Grant. 105 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:02,170 Both fine fighting men in their own right. 106 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,090 You know, Alex, you might be an excellent candidate for our airborne 107 00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:07,090 assault team. 108 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,650 You flatter me. 109 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:19,270 Erwin, militarily speaking, Is there a specific area that particularly 110 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,710 you? Well, I've always seen myself driving a tank. 111 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,170 I feel pretty well prepared because my father has a Buick. 112 00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:29,010 Tanks it is. 113 00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:30,530 That's it? I'm in? 114 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,250 Well, there are a few formalities that have to be completed, but my general 115 00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:36,670 sense of it, Erwin, is that you're good Army material. 116 00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:41,600 Oh, right. Hey, hey, Skip, Skip, look, you're moving really fast here now. Are 117 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,740 you serious about this? Oh, yes, I feel really good about this. This is right 118 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:48,220 for me. Well, then, you'll be looking at eight weeks of basic training at Fort 119 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,840 Wharton. Uh, where is that? Just outside Dayton. 120 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:52,760 Whoa, right on the front lines. 121 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,580 And I'll be seeing you down there, Erwin. I'm transferring down to Fort 122 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,020 I'll be your drill instructor. 123 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,530 They'll warm up to you, Sarge. 124 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,250 Hey, don't mind if I do. Thanks. 125 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:14,650 Dad, these chips are not for you. 126 00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,270 They've not been approved by the American Heart Association. 127 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,030 What am I supposed to eat? 128 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:22,190 Oh, Stephen, do you think we're insensitive to that? 129 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,790 I'm up with a perfect solution. 130 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,250 Cardiac chips. 131 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:30,130 And these are homemade and there's nothing bad in them. No salt, no fat, no 132 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:31,930 preservatives. Well, great. What's the recipe? 133 00:07:32,590 --> 00:07:34,630 thinly slice a raw potato and serve. 134 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:43,170 Oh, now that must be the Handelmans, but they're a little upset about Skippy 135 00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:45,790 going, so try to be supportive and show them a good time. All right. 136 00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:47,310 Hello. 137 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:50,290 Private Handelman reporting for party, sir. 138 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:55,310 Hey. At ease, Handelman, at ease. Come on in, Rose. All right. 139 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:01,740 like to thank you for throwing this little shindig for Erwin. Oh, I'm sure 140 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,100 throw one for us if we were going in the army. 141 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,760 We're so proud of him. He's going to be such a wonderful soldier. 142 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,980 He's going to look so handsome in his uniform. 143 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,420 Don't worry, Mom. I'll call you every day. Twice a day. 144 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:18,220 Once a day is fine. 145 00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,560 Every other day is fine. 146 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,500 Well, come on, everybody. Help yourselves here. Have something to eat. 147 00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:30,070 What's he going to eat in the army? They don't know how to cook for him. He 148 00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:31,530 doesn't eat everything, you know. 149 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:36,350 It's not going to be like the good nourishing food he's been eating at our 150 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,809 and yours all these years. 151 00:08:40,409 --> 00:08:41,409 These are raw. 152 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,090 So, Skippy, when are you shipping out? 153 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:52,830 Really soon. In fact, Sergeant Davis is coming here to pick me up so we can be 154 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,790 at Fort Wharton by 0600 hours. 155 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,660 which for you civilians is 600 hours after all. 156 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:06,180 I spoke to Sergeant Davis on the phone. He sounds like a 157 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:11,680 very nice man. I told him about all of Irwin's special sweet little quirks. 158 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:16,100 Come on, Mom, you don't have to do that. You can't watch over me every minute. 159 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,960 I've got to grow up sometime. 160 00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:20,060 He's right, Rose. He's a big boy now. 161 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,720 He's not the same little skippy that used to walk around chewing an old blue 162 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,720 blanket. 163 00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:26,610 Did you pack it, Mom? 164 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,950 It's in there right next to your asthma inhaler and your nightlight. 165 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,110 Excuse me. 166 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,590 Oh, Sergeant Davis, I presume. 167 00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:43,449 That's correct. 168 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,750 I'm Stephen Keaton. How are you? 169 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:47,930 4F, flat feet, tricked knee, heart attack. 170 00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:53,450 That's good to know. 171 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,779 Please, Dad. 172 00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,220 Come in. Sergeant Davis, everyone. 173 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,280 Sergeant Davis, sir. You don't have to salute me, Erwin. 174 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,240 This is sweet, but if you do this at the base, no one's going to want to share a 175 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,240 foxhole with you. 176 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:09,760 Sergeant Davis, I'm Rose Handelman. 177 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,380 We spoke on the phone. 178 00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:12,580 I haven't forgotten. 179 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,400 Your son can't digest milk products. 180 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:20,580 And don't forget, at night... He kicks off the covers and needs to be tucked 181 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,960 Well, I guess I'm off to war. 182 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,560 What about you, Alex? 183 00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:27,980 It's not too late. 184 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,280 No, sorry to really please. 185 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:33,280 Actually, I inherited my dad's trickney. 186 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,620 What are you talking about, Alex? You don't have a trickney. 187 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,280 Jennifer, listen. 188 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:39,460 Whoa! 189 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:44,780 My foot just went flat. 190 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:48,540 Wow. 191 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,420 This is really goodbye. 192 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,060 Well, not quite yet. Rose, Harry, Skippy, look. 193 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,780 We're really going to miss you. 194 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,880 But, well, it's hard to put it in words, so... 195 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:08,000 Goodbye, 196 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:14,880 Mr. Skippy. 197 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,520 I'll never forget you. 198 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,430 I'm going to miss you so much. 199 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,470 You've meant the world to me. 200 00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:29,770 Mr. Keaton, you'll wait for me, won't you? 201 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:36,230 We better go now. 202 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,060 Everybody better hurry up. Inspection's in five. 203 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,040 Irwin, come on, get up. 204 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,820 One more minute, Mommy. 205 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,800 I'm not your Mommy. 206 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,660 I've got a gun. 207 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,520 Oh. 208 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,440 Hi, how are you? 209 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,500 How's your goose? 210 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,260 Now get up. It's inspection. 211 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:25,900 And you've already failed twice. 212 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,040 This time, I'm prepared. 213 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,500 You better pull yourself together or you're going to lose your weekend pass. 214 00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:35,690 Hey, Handelman, what are you doing with your weekend pass? 215 00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:38,990 Oh, I thought I'd just hang around here and brush up on the Geneva Convention. 216 00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:43,790 Did you guys hear what Handelman is doing with his weekend pass? 217 00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:46,190 Brushing up on the Geneva Convention. 218 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,870 What the hell is the Geneva Convention? 219 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,610 Well, maybe you should hang out with me here and brush up on it. 220 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,550 You're talking to me, Handelman? 221 00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,410 Allworthy, back off. 222 00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:58,970 You're not scaring me. 223 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,560 All right, maybe you are scaring me. 224 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:11,080 Ready for inspection? 225 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:12,500 Yes, General Sergeant! 226 00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:14,200 Actually, I could use a few more minutes. 227 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,260 Put a lid on it, soldier. 228 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,440 All right, soldiers, stand at ease. 229 00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:25,580 Get to your bunks. 230 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,160 Good job, Curtis. 231 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,540 Well done, Matthews. 232 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,200 Good job, Strauss. 233 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Well done, Holworthy. 234 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,200 Are 235 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:58,480 you 236 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,900 looking for something specific, Sarge? 237 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,520 Yes. I'm looking for the signs of a soldier. And I don't see one here. 238 00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,340 Sergeant Davis, can I talk to you for a minute? 239 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,360 What happened to us? 240 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,960 We used to be so close. 241 00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:21,000 Don't you remember back at the recruiting office? 242 00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,040 Well, we'll always have Columbus handle it. 243 00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:47,000 Weekend pass is revoked. 244 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:50,180 Compliments of private Irwin Handelman. 245 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,680 Um... No, Sergeant, you... 246 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:02,100 Guys, I've got some extra fig newtons. 247 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:36,170 am i kidding 248 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:42,830 celery 249 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:49,510 dog elise steven tonight you're gonna get lucky i 250 00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:51,430 don't care about that elise i want some food 251 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:05,689 about, Stephen. 252 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:08,770 See, you've been so pathetic all week having to eat all this low -cholesterol 253 00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:12,990 food, so I called Dr. Harrington, and he said that occasionally you could have a 254 00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:13,990 small treat. 255 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,930 Don't tease me like that. 256 00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,450 Feast your eyes on this. 257 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,090 Oh, God, 258 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:33,690 Elise, thank you. 259 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,880 You can't have it all. 260 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,840 You just have this much. 261 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,000 Aren't you going to finish it? 262 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,400 I'd like to save the rest for tomorrow. 263 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,079 Hey, look at this. We got a postcard from Skippy. Oh, what's it say? 264 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,119 I don't know. It's in Spanish. 265 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,619 It was 266 00:17:13,619 --> 00:17:19,560 something about Akron. 267 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,540 How do you know, Jennifer? Did you take Spanish? 268 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:43,060 You know... He's only been gone a 269 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:44,039 couple of weeks. 270 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,620 But I really miss our little Scapito. 271 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:54,160 I can't believe this, Deb, but I have to agree with you. 272 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,140 I mean, remember all the silly things he used to do? Like when he'd come over to 273 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:03,980 see us, instead of knocking on the door, he'd squish his face up against the 274 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:04,980 glass and... 275 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,550 I didn't think they'd give you time off. Do the letters A -W -O -L mean anything 276 00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:15,550 to you? 277 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:19,370 You went AWOL? That's right. I did it. I went AWOL. 278 00:18:19,790 --> 00:18:20,890 What is AWOL? 279 00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:24,150 It means absent without leave. 280 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,590 Really? I thought it literally meant AWOL. 281 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,730 As in going over AWOL, which is what I did. 282 00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:35,410 Skippy, what are you talking about? Listen, I thought you said everything 283 00:18:35,410 --> 00:18:39,090 going fine there. It wasn't. It was a complete disaster. Nobody liked me. Oh, 284 00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:40,570 come on, Skippy. You should be used to that. 285 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,990 Oh, my God. Oh, it's Sergeant Davis. What am I going to do? 286 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:53,830 Skippy, I... No, I... Well, Sergeant 287 00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:55,310 Davis. Miss Keaton. 288 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:58,930 If you're here to measure me for a uniform, about face. 289 00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:02,030 No, no, I'm here looking for Private Irwin Handelman. 290 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:17,430 I'm here, Sergeant Davis. 291 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:24,530 Thank you very much, Mrs. Keaton, but this is my problem, and I've got to deal 292 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,530 with it. 293 00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:29,030 Excuse me, folks, but would you mind if I speak to the private privately? 294 00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:50,130 offense. Now, going AWOL is one of the Army's least favorite things. 295 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,530 What's going to happen to me now, Sergeant? 296 00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,750 We could throw you in the stockade. 297 00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,850 Or we could put you on a rock pile. 298 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:06,150 Or we could do what we're going to do. 299 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,770 Let you out. 300 00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:09,670 You can do that? 301 00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,230 It's called a trainee discharge for unadaptability. 302 00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:14,950 This won't be the first one of these I've gotten. 303 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,080 is finding out where you fit in and where you don't fit in. 304 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,480 And we both know you don't fit into the Army. 305 00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:33,740 I don't know. 306 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,460 I don't feel good about this. 307 00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:37,720 I don't want to feel like I'm quitting. 308 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:39,259 You're not. 309 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:40,260 You're fired. 310 00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:48,060 Well, great. So I'm back to where I started, back to square one. I'm just no 311 00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:49,019 good at anything. 312 00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:50,020 Hey, listen to me, Erwin. 313 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,380 It took a lot of courage for you to join the Army. 314 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,820 And that's the same kind of courage that's going to get you to where you 315 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,820 rightfully be. 316 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,860 You're going to become a man, Erwin. 317 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,040 Thank you, Sergeant Davis. 318 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,020 Alex, I want you. 319 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:22,340 No, actually, Sergeant Davis, I've been thinking about that Airborne Accounting 320 00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:24,500 Corps and... Oh! Darn the old trickney. 321 00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:28,360 I'll be back for you, Alex. 322 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,520 Irwin? 323 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,800 What the frog? 324 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,160 Don't go away. There's more Family Ties coming up in less than 30 seconds. And 325 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,240 tonight at 6, check out San Diego's favorite comedy lineup. That's right. 326 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,760 Friends, Will and Grace, and everybody loves Raymond. 327 00:21:52,650 --> 00:21:57,050 You're watching San Diego's home for comedy, KSWB. Watch the frog. 328 00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:03,550 Sit, Ubu, sit. 329 00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:04,970 Good dog. 25977

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