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I bet we've been together for a million
years.
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00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:21,820
And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.
3
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:27,520
Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.
4
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:33,060
And I can't remember what I ever did
before.
5
00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:38,300
What would we do, baby, without a...
6
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:44,100
What would we do, baby, without us?
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00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:50,100
And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.
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00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,760
What would we do, baby, without us?
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00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,820
Sha -la -la -la.
10
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:06,360
What are you writing, Jen?
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00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:09,210
Nothing, just a poem for the school
magazine.
12
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:10,990
How's it coming?
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00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:13,410
Okay, I guess I'm just stuck on this one
line.
14
00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:17,730
Well, maybe I can help. You know, I
don't like to brag, but in grade school,
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used to be quite a poet myself.
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I used to call me Iambic Pentameter
Keaton.
17
00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:26,610
That's a fabulous nickname, Derek.
18
00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:30,610
Well, come on, Jen. Read me what you've
got so far. Come on.
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00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:31,950
Okay.
20
00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,390
The Gray World Spins.
21
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,090
We are adrift in the empty universe.
22
00:01:38,610 --> 00:01:39,610
Lost.
23
00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:41,030
Depressed.
24
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:42,530
Nothing in sight.
25
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:44,690
Nothing.
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00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,290
Nothing.
27
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,290
Nothing.
28
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,210
It's cute.
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00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:55,990
Maybe we should put it in our Christmas
cards.
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00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,820
Well, sure, it's cute.
31
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:05,140
But isn't it a little depressing? Jen, a
girl your age should be writing about
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00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,060
flowers and sunshine and rainbows.
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00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,860
Dad, I want to show the alienation of
mankind confronted with the horror of
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00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:13,880
industrial age.
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00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,880
Okay, but I'm sure there's a nicer way
to do it.
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00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,059
Hey, lady.
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00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,220
There, my guy.
38
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,520
Alex. Hey, Alex, you take first place in
the horse show?
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00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:33,760
For your information, Jennifer, this
medal distinguishes me as a member of
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00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,740
Leland University Fraternity Council.
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00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,300
It gives me jurisdiction over all
fraternity matters on the Leland campus.
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a big deal.
43
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,380
Hey, tell them what they call me, Andy.
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00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:49,020
Um, Pompous Fool.
45
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,360
No, no, no, not those guys in the pickup
truck.
46
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,940
The guys in the house with the big Greek
letters on it?
47
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,820
Mr. Big.
48
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,580
Alex, did you have him over at the
fraternity house again?
49
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,240
Just for a minute, just for a minute. He
stopped in to see the guys.
50
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,080
I don't like him hanging around there.
He's picking up some bad habits.
51
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,860
What bad habits? Mom, he saw what
college is all about.
52
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,120
He saw people reading.
53
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,560
He saw people studying.
54
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,920
He saw people engaged in the scholarly
pursuit of knowledge.
55
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,880
What else did you see, Andy?
56
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,720
Girls, beer.
57
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,500
What an imagination.
58
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,260
Come on, Andy, put your beer mug away.
It's time for Sesame Street.
59
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:43,939
Guess what?
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00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:46,380
I've been asked to play six sororities.
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00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:48,880
Mallory, that's wonderful.
62
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,100
How are you going to choose?
63
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,240
Well, I don't know. See, Phi Kappa Gamma
is the most prestigious, it's the
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00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,920
hardest to get into, and they have the
best list of alumni.
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00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,200
But their colors are all wrong for me.
66
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,620
How'd it go for you, Skip?
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00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,940
I didn't have any luck with the
fraternities I like, but there are a few
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00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,020
groups that are interested in me.
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00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,560
Look, Skippy, cheer up, okay? It's not
so bad.
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00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:20,160
Alex, that's easy for you to say. Look,
you belong to a great fraternity. I
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00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,460
would do anything to be in a fraternity
like yours.
72
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:26,380
Well, Skip, I, uh, I'd stay down like
this.
73
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,180
I'll tell you what. I'll take you over
to the grand chapter of my fraternity.
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00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,520
I'll introduce you to a couple of guys.
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00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,280
Well, Alex, I can't promise you
anything. I can't promise you I can get
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00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,120
Thank you, Alex. I really appreciate
this.
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00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,740
Uh, yo, fancy pants.
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00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,540
Members only territory.
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00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:45,880
Yeah,
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00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,600
I'm Alex P. Keaton. I'm from the Leland
chapter of Theta Pi.
81
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,700
Oh, sorry, Brian Elliott. I'm president
of the grand chapter.
82
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,160
Dave Dubin, I want to be the president
of the grad chapter.
83
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,100
So, how can we help you, Keaton?
84
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,460
Well, actually, fellas, I'm here to talk
to you about a prospective pledge.
85
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:16,740
Terrific. What's his name?
86
00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:19,180
Handelman.
87
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,620
Erwin Handelman.
88
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:25,080
Listen, Keaton, we'd really like to help
you out, but you've got to understand,
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00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,880
we have standards here. I mean, Skippy
Handelman's just about the nerdiest guy
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00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,880
on campus.
91
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:35,630
Yeah, well, I know that from afar he may
appear that way, but you got to meet
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00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:36,409
this guy.
93
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:40,570
I mean, he's very impressive. He almost
got accepted into Harvard.
94
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:48,070
Oh, yeah, he was just short one credit
in biology and 1 ,400 points in the
95
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,750
Boy, that is close.
96
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:55,830
Well, that's probably Skippy now.
Listen, you guys do me a favor and
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00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:56,729
him now?
98
00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,350
Sure, what are brothers for? Hey.
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00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,320
Dave Dubin. Hi, I'm Skippy Handelman.
100
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:13,620
Hey, Skippy.
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00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,340
Those are for you, and there's plenty
more where that came from, if you know
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00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:18,159
what I mean.
103
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,060
Please take me. You gotta take me,
please.
104
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,800
Hi, Skippy. Brian Elliott. I'm president
of Theta Pi. Hello there, Brian.
105
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,060
Well, Handelman, Alex has told me a lot
about you, so why don't we get this
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00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,060
interview underway?
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00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,340
Yes.
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00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,740
Alex, please, you gotta stay with me
here.
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00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,840
I don't know if they can tell. I'm a
little nervous.
110
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,520
We'll keep it our little secret, okay,
Skip?
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00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,640
Okay.
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00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,000
Okay, for this interview, we need your
full name.
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00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:55,100
Erwin Murray Handelman.
114
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,520
Right, none of that's written in stone.
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00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,500
Did you bring your resume there, Skip?
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00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:03,920
Of course.
117
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:06,710
Can you show it to him?
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00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:13,470
Yes, here is my courses are listed
there. And this is my grade point
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00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,370
And, oh, this is an encouraging letter
of recommendation from my mother.
120
00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:23,830
You know, Haleman, I really don't think
we need to finish this interview. I
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00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:26,070
think we know everything we need to know
about you.
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00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,030
You're definitely Theta Pi material, and
we want you to pledge the fraternity.
123
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:34,750
So off he went to bluer sky.
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00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,700
to sing a song or play a game.
125
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:44,920
But ere he went, he turned to cry, Robin
Redbreast is my name.
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00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,180
Can you guess?
127
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,960
Or have you heard?
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00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:53,960
My little friend is but a bird.
129
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:58,280
I was only 17 when I wrote this.
130
00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:02,360
You're a real child prodigy, Dad.
131
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:06,840
Oh, Jen, you're just being... stubborn.
I know this is a wonderful poem, right,
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00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,020
Elise? I don't like it.
133
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,780
Is your name Elise?
134
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,500
I was talking to your mother.
135
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,080
Okay, Jen, I'll tell you what. We'll
write it together. It doesn't have to be
136
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,440
good. Okay, Jen, now let's take another
crack at it. The only thing I suggest is
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00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,620
if you have to use a word like
depressed.
138
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:36,950
Try to find a nice rhyme for it. Like
what? How about Robin Redbreast?
139
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,750
Come on.
140
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:45,990
Mom, Mommy, you are looking at a man who
just did the impossible. I mean,
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00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:49,030
compared to this feat, the Alaskan
Pipeline is a garden hose.
142
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,150
The Eiffel Tower, it's a hat rack.
143
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:58,370
I get Skippy Handleman into the best
fraternity on the Grand College campus.
144
00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:00,810
There is nothing I cannot do.
145
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,410
Very good of you, Alex. I mean, you know
how important this is to Skippy.
146
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,390
You know, Mom, I was a little nervous
about going over there and asking those
147
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:09,370
guys to do this to me. You should have
seen them.
148
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,090
They were falling all over themselves
trying to please me. You know, I forget
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00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,930
how powerful and omnipotent I am.
150
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,930
I got to write a note to remind myself.
151
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,190
Yeah, I'll remember.
152
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,230
I'll bet you will.
153
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:27,470
Hey.
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00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,130
Eric.
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00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:31,330
Alex.
156
00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:36,830
Probably the master list of the pledges.
157
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:39,190
Names, majors, their parents, net
income.
158
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:40,470
Hey, give me, give me.
159
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:43,130
I love going through these lists.
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00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:47,350
Every chapter's showing real growth and
prosperity, but we have a little problem
161
00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:48,350
with the grant chapter.
162
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:50,470
What do you expect with those bozos?
163
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,830
Yeah, what's the problem with the grant
chapter? They're doing the big stooge
164
00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:54,950
again. Can you believe it?
165
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,570
Just like these guys would do something
like that.
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00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:02,770
What's the big stooge? The big stooge.
They pick out the nerdiest guy they can
167
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:06,390
find. Lie to him, tell him they're
actually interested in his membership,
168
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:09,970
humiliate him for a week during hazing,
and then not select him.
169
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,250
What's the name of this big stooge?
170
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,770
Handelman. Erwin Handelman.
171
00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:19,330
Skippy Handelman.
172
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,050
What's the matter?
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00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:23,730
Erwin Handelman. Skippy Handelman. He's
a friend of mine.
174
00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,410
I gotta tell him. Wait, you can't tell.
175
00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:30,370
That's against the code. You'd be
betraying sacred fraternity trust.
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00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:35,460
I hate this big stooge business just as
much as you do, but if you breathe a
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00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,700
word into the handleman, you're out of
the fraternity.
178
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,520
Jen, I came up with a great new ending
to your poem. Now, wait till you hear
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00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,640
this. The caterpillar turns into a
butterfly.
180
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,240
That's a stunning twist, Dad.
181
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:58,460
But I really don't need that poem
anymore. I wrote another one.
182
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,460
Oh, well, can I read it?
183
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,680
I tried to use some of the phrases you
suggested. You know, the things that
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00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,639
rhyme and stuff.
185
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:10,359
Oh, good.
186
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:16,120
Good. Well, I looked down at the car and
felt depressed.
187
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,340
For under the tire lay Robin Redbread.
188
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,420
Come on, Jen. We have work to do.
189
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,120
Mom, help.
190
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,040
It's a part of life, honey.
191
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:35,810
Hey, Mom.
192
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:37,850
Hi. Did Annie go down to sleep okay?
193
00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:40,010
Yeah, I read him his favorite bedtime
story.
194
00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,870
He was out cold by the time Nixon left
for China.
195
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:52,230
Alex, I can't believe Skippy. He's
outside on the lawn wearing a dress,
196
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,850
I am woman, hear me roar.
197
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,410
It's a beautiful dress.
198
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,830
Yeah, yeah, it's, um...
199
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:07,010
Initiation night at Theta Pi. It's part
of the ritual to put on a fancy dress.
200
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,170
Well, I hope he doesn't spill anything
on it. I'd like to borrow it.
201
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:13,270
Billy's putting his little heart into
it.
202
00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:18,770
Gotta hand it to you. It was really
sweet of you to get Skippy into Theta
203
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:22,290
It's done amazing things for him. He's
getting more attention at school.
204
00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,510
He's more confident.
205
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,410
It's just made a world of difference.
206
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,290
You should be really proud of yourself.
207
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,190
No, I mean it.
208
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,470
Don't be modest, Alex.
209
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:38,170
I mean, how many chances do I get to
compliment you?
210
00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:40,270
Okay.
211
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:41,790
Thanks.
212
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,670
Such a beautiful thing.
213
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:52,330
Skippy's your friend, and you cared
enough to go the extra mile.
214
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,730
I mean, how many guys would do something
like that?
215
00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:56,490
You're very special.
216
00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:58,190
You're really getting on my nerves,
Carrie.
217
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,470
Connor!
218
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:01,730
All right, Mal.
219
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:05,190
If I tell you a secret, do you promise
not to tell anyone?
220
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,610
Yes.
221
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:13,790
Now, I mean it, Mal.
222
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:15,350
I mean, this is important.
223
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:20,430
Alex, if I pray the word of it, may I
pay retail for the rest of my life.
224
00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:29,550
All right.
225
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,110
Here it is.
226
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,170
Skippy's a big stooge.
227
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,270
Alex, that secret's out.
228
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:46,710
See, the truth is, he's not really being
pledged into Theta Pi.
229
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:50,090
They're stringing him along to humiliate
him.
230
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:52,390
They call it the big stooge.
231
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:57,230
Well, wait. Why would Skippy go through
all this if he knows he's not getting
232
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,230
in?
233
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:00,830
He doesn't know.
234
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,550
What? You didn't tell him?
235
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:05,350
He's your friend. I don't understand.
236
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:09,450
Look, it's very simple. There is a code,
okay? I swore an oath.
237
00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,670
They'll throw me out of the fraternity.
238
00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:17,710
Well... Next big night.
239
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:19,850
Aren't you going to wish me luck?
240
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:21,710
Luck?
241
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:25,490
Mallory?
242
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:28,990
Skippy, I've been thinking.
243
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:35,110
Tonight would be a good night for us to
go out on a date.
244
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:47,170
I'm sorry, Mallory. It's breaking my
heart, but I have to say no.
245
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:51,550
See, Theta Pi is the greatest thing that
ever happened to me.
246
00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:54,620
Tonight's initiation night. I can't miss
that.
247
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,500
And this is the man who made it all
possible right here, Alex.
248
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,960
Thank you, Alex. Hey, Skip, come on. It
was nothing.
249
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:07,980
Well, the next time you see me, I'll be
a Theta Pi man.
250
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,080
Don't give me that disapproving look.
What disapproving look?
251
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,160
This one.
252
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:26,090
The one you save for criminals and
people with last year's haircuts. I
253
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:30,550
you're a little bit paranoid.
254
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,850
Skippy is better off this way.
255
00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:37,050
I mean, you said it yourself.
256
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:40,390
You said he's getting a lot more
attention at school.
257
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,330
He's more confident.
258
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,550
He's dressing better.
259
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,900
He may not get everything that he wants,
but he'll have a couple of weeks in the
260
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,900
limelight if he will always remember.
261
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:56,100
You keep telling yourself that, Alex.
262
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,160
And maybe someday you'll come to believe
it.
263
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,520
Hey,
264
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,100
Keaton, what are you doing here? Where's
Skippy?
265
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,500
He's upstairs with all the other
pledges.
266
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,660
Oh, come on, who are you kidding? He's
not pledging, and you know it, Brian.
267
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,540
Big stooge, huh? What the hell are you
thinking about?
268
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,500
Whoa, what are you talking about? I
don't know anything about any big
269
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,000
All right, look, this is Alex P. Keaton
you're dealing with.
270
00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:28,620
I'm a member of the Interfraternity
Council, and I go to a college where the
271
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,140
students actually have brains.
272
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,380
All right, sweet, the big stooge. So
what? I'm taking Kippy home.
273
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:41,460
Hey, Keaton, you're smart as you say you
are. You ought to know this.
274
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:45,650
You say one word about big dudes, you're
out of this fraternity.
275
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:51,910
You can't take away our big dudes. It's
the best part of the evening.
276
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,250
Come on, we haven't even dipped them in
mustard yet.
277
00:16:58,070 --> 00:17:00,830
I am woman.
278
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,630
Hey, Alex, what are you doing here?
279
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:08,250
I came to take you home, Skippy. Come
on, let's go. I can't go now, Alex. They
280
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,550
haven't even dipped me in mustard yet.
281
00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:11,589
Skip, listen to me.
282
00:17:13,369 --> 00:17:15,369
You don't want to go in there, all
right?
283
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:18,130
What are you talking about, Alex? That's
where all the hazing takes place.
284
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,550
That's where they're going to vote on
me.
285
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,690
They're not going to vote on you.
Keaton, this is your final warning.
286
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,450
What do you mean they're not going to
vote on me?
287
00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:27,230
Tell them, Brian.
288
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,050
You tell them.
289
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:30,350
Tell them what?
290
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,970
You're not getting into Theta Pi,
Skippy.
291
00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,070
They never planned on letting you into
the fraternity.
292
00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,830
They were just using you as a joke.
293
00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:47,050
I'm sorry.
294
00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:48,990
Is this true, Brent?
295
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:53,030
Keaton, I'm going to have you kicked out
of Theater Park so far, your
296
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,690
grandchildren will never get in.
297
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,390
You do whatever you have to do.
298
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,590
Let's go, sir. No.
299
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:03,350
No, no, this can't be true.
300
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,640
Brian, I did everything you guys said. I
bought the same clothes you guys wear.
301
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,440
I subscribed to GQ.
302
00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,160
I even got the right kind of loafers.
303
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,760
Two of them!
304
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,560
You know, you got a lot of nerve,
Keaton.
305
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,600
Coming in here and screwing up hell
night.
306
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:24,180
You knew all along Hanlon was the big
stooge. Why didn't you say something to
307
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,180
him?
308
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,460
You knew, Alex?
309
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,240
Don't ever talk to me again!
310
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,200
Where have you been?
311
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,540
I was over at Grant College. They had a
pie initiation night tonight.
312
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,220
Well, how did it go? Is Skippy a full
-fledged member now?
313
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,440
No. Skippy's not a member.
314
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:51,260
Skippy's not going to be a member.
315
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,560
And, uh, in all probability, I'm not a
member anymore either.
316
00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:58,660
Well, what happened?
317
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,060
They never had any intention of letting
him in.
318
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:02,520
It was a joke.
319
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,640
I mean, all they wanted to do was make
fun of him.
320
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,540
The worst part is I knew about it, and I
didn't say anything.
321
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,410
Are you serious, Alex?
322
00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:12,910
You knew and you didn't tell us?
323
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:14,490
That's right. He knew and he didn't
tell.
324
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,590
Why wouldn't you tell?
325
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:22,910
Look, Ma, I don't want to go through it,
okay? It's just a little too painful.
326
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:32,210
You see, Alex started out trying to do
something nice, which is rare in itself,
327
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,670
which is why I remember this so well.
328
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,740
Alex wanted to get Skippy into Theta Pi,
so he took him over there. The boys
329
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:41,320
said yes, but what Alex didn't know is
that they had no intention of pledging
330
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,280
Skippy. They just want to make him the
big stooge.
331
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,620
When Alex found out, he wanted to tell,
but he couldn't tell because he was
332
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:49,420
afraid of breaking the code. What code,
I said? He said the code of Theta Pi.
333
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:56,260
He said they'd throw him out of the
fraternity, become a social outcast,
334
00:19:56,260 --> 00:20:00,080
all his chances of a big career in
business, a job on Wall Street, an
335
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,920
in New York. He said he couldn't tell.
He said he wouldn't tell, but tonight...
336
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,030
Tonight he told. I love him for it.
337
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,910
I can't believe I held it in for so
long. I thought I was going to explode.
338
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:12,990
You did.
339
00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:19,610
Skip, you okay?
340
00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:20,970
What's up?
341
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,650
I'm okay.
342
00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:32,350
We heard what happened, honey. We're
sorry.
343
00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:35,230
I really would like to speak to Alex
alone for a little bit.
344
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,270
Sure, sure. We were just going up
anyway.
345
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,670
Hey, you look cold.
346
00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,150
Put this on.
347
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,310
So where'd you go anyway? I called your
place five times.
348
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:50,170
I went up to Grover Lake.
349
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,130
I like to go up there after I've made a
fool out of myself.
350
00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230
I go up there a lot.
351
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,710
Skippy, I can't tell you how sorry I am.
352
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,470
Alex. Alex.
353
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:34,260
Why do these things always happen to me?
Why am I always everybody's big stooge?
354
00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:43,000
You're just not in your time yet, Skip.
That's all I mean.
355
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,740
You'll grow into it. You know, you are
going to be a late bloomer.
356
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,780
If I don't bloom soon, they're going to
have to replant me.
357
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,020
What's wrong with me?
358
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:56,020
Kippy, there's nothing wrong with you.
359
00:21:57,490 --> 00:22:01,170
Look, people are going to take advantage
of you because you're a little too
360
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,170
open.
361
00:22:02,910 --> 00:22:07,790
You're a little too trusting, a little
too accepting sometimes, but that's
362
00:22:07,790 --> 00:22:08,790
problem.
363
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:13,310
Skippy, you're one of the only truly
good people I know.
364
00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:17,090
I don't understand, Alex. You're always
on the inside.
365
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:18,710
I'm always on the outside.
366
00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:20,930
It's been that way ever since we were
kids.
367
00:22:22,190 --> 00:22:24,330
Do you remember that time we both
learned to ride bikes?
368
00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:28,310
You got right on, started pedaling, and
kept going all the way down the hill.
369
00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:31,530
I got on, coasted five feet, and killed
a cat.
370
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:41,170
It's just that our styles are a little
different. Skip, that's all.
371
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:43,950
Any day now that's going to change.
372
00:22:44,350 --> 00:22:47,070
You're going to take those training
wheels off.
373
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,650
And when you do, watch out world.
374
00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:53,110
Watch out cats.
375
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,880
Thank you, Alex.
376
00:22:58,940 --> 00:23:02,540
You know, we could start sort of a
fraternity of our own.
377
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,640
All we need is a secret handshake.
378
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,300
You got it, Skip.
379
00:23:44,330 --> 00:23:45,330
Sit, Ubu, sit.
380
00:23:45,670 --> 00:23:46,670
Good dog.
30784
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