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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,580 I bet we've been together for a million years. 2 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:21,820 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 3 00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:27,520 Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed. 4 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:33,060 And I can't remember what I ever did before. 5 00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:38,300 What would we do, baby, without a... 6 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:44,100 What would we do, baby, without us? 7 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:50,100 And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. 8 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,760 What would we do, baby, without us? 9 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,820 Sha -la -la -la. 10 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:06,360 What are you writing, Jen? 11 00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:09,210 Nothing, just a poem for the school magazine. 12 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:10,990 How's it coming? 13 00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:13,410 Okay, I guess I'm just stuck on this one line. 14 00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:17,730 Well, maybe I can help. You know, I don't like to brag, but in grade school, 15 00:01:17,730 --> 00:01:18,890 used to be quite a poet myself. 16 00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:22,410 I used to call me Iambic Pentameter Keaton. 17 00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:26,610 That's a fabulous nickname, Derek. 18 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:30,610 Well, come on, Jen. Read me what you've got so far. Come on. 19 00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:31,950 Okay. 20 00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,390 The Gray World Spins. 21 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,090 We are adrift in the empty universe. 22 00:01:38,610 --> 00:01:39,610 Lost. 23 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:41,030 Depressed. 24 00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:42,530 Nothing in sight. 25 00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:44,690 Nothing. 26 00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,290 Nothing. 27 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,290 Nothing. 28 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,210 It's cute. 29 00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:55,990 Maybe we should put it in our Christmas cards. 30 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,820 Well, sure, it's cute. 31 00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:05,140 But isn't it a little depressing? Jen, a girl your age should be writing about 32 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,060 flowers and sunshine and rainbows. 33 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,860 Dad, I want to show the alienation of mankind confronted with the horror of 34 00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:13,880 industrial age. 35 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,880 Okay, but I'm sure there's a nicer way to do it. 36 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,059 Hey, lady. 37 00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,220 There, my guy. 38 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,520 Alex. Hey, Alex, you take first place in the horse show? 39 00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:33,760 For your information, Jennifer, this medal distinguishes me as a member of 40 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,740 Leland University Fraternity Council. 41 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,300 It gives me jurisdiction over all fraternity matters on the Leland campus. 42 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,300 a big deal. 43 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,380 Hey, tell them what they call me, Andy. 44 00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:49,020 Um, Pompous Fool. 45 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,360 No, no, no, not those guys in the pickup truck. 46 00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,940 The guys in the house with the big Greek letters on it? 47 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,820 Mr. Big. 48 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,580 Alex, did you have him over at the fraternity house again? 49 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,240 Just for a minute, just for a minute. He stopped in to see the guys. 50 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,080 I don't like him hanging around there. He's picking up some bad habits. 51 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,860 What bad habits? Mom, he saw what college is all about. 52 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,120 He saw people reading. 53 00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,560 He saw people studying. 54 00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,920 He saw people engaged in the scholarly pursuit of knowledge. 55 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,880 What else did you see, Andy? 56 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,720 Girls, beer. 57 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,500 What an imagination. 58 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,260 Come on, Andy, put your beer mug away. It's time for Sesame Street. 59 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:43,939 Guess what? 60 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:46,380 I've been asked to play six sororities. 61 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:48,880 Mallory, that's wonderful. 62 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,100 How are you going to choose? 63 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,240 Well, I don't know. See, Phi Kappa Gamma is the most prestigious, it's the 64 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,920 hardest to get into, and they have the best list of alumni. 65 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,200 But their colors are all wrong for me. 66 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,620 How'd it go for you, Skip? 67 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,940 I didn't have any luck with the fraternities I like, but there are a few 68 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,020 groups that are interested in me. 69 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,560 Look, Skippy, cheer up, okay? It's not so bad. 70 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:20,160 Alex, that's easy for you to say. Look, you belong to a great fraternity. I 71 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,460 would do anything to be in a fraternity like yours. 72 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:26,380 Well, Skip, I, uh, I'd stay down like this. 73 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,180 I'll tell you what. I'll take you over to the grand chapter of my fraternity. 74 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,520 I'll introduce you to a couple of guys. 75 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,280 Well, Alex, I can't promise you anything. I can't promise you I can get 76 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,120 Thank you, Alex. I really appreciate this. 77 00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,740 Uh, yo, fancy pants. 78 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,540 Members only territory. 79 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:45,880 Yeah, 80 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,600 I'm Alex P. Keaton. I'm from the Leland chapter of Theta Pi. 81 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,700 Oh, sorry, Brian Elliott. I'm president of the grand chapter. 82 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,160 Dave Dubin, I want to be the president of the grad chapter. 83 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,100 So, how can we help you, Keaton? 84 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,460 Well, actually, fellas, I'm here to talk to you about a prospective pledge. 85 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:16,740 Terrific. What's his name? 86 00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:19,180 Handelman. 87 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,620 Erwin Handelman. 88 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:25,080 Listen, Keaton, we'd really like to help you out, but you've got to understand, 89 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,880 we have standards here. I mean, Skippy Handelman's just about the nerdiest guy 90 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,880 on campus. 91 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:35,630 Yeah, well, I know that from afar he may appear that way, but you got to meet 92 00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:36,409 this guy. 93 00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:40,570 I mean, he's very impressive. He almost got accepted into Harvard. 94 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:48,070 Oh, yeah, he was just short one credit in biology and 1 ,400 points in the 95 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,750 Boy, that is close. 96 00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:55,830 Well, that's probably Skippy now. Listen, you guys do me a favor and 97 00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:56,729 him now? 98 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,350 Sure, what are brothers for? Hey. 99 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,320 Dave Dubin. Hi, I'm Skippy Handelman. 100 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:13,620 Hey, Skippy. 101 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,340 Those are for you, and there's plenty more where that came from, if you know 102 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:18,159 what I mean. 103 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,060 Please take me. You gotta take me, please. 104 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,800 Hi, Skippy. Brian Elliott. I'm president of Theta Pi. Hello there, Brian. 105 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,060 Well, Handelman, Alex has told me a lot about you, so why don't we get this 106 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,060 interview underway? 107 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,340 Yes. 108 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,740 Alex, please, you gotta stay with me here. 109 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,840 I don't know if they can tell. I'm a little nervous. 110 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,520 We'll keep it our little secret, okay, Skip? 111 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,640 Okay. 112 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,000 Okay, for this interview, we need your full name. 113 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:55,100 Erwin Murray Handelman. 114 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,520 Right, none of that's written in stone. 115 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,500 Did you bring your resume there, Skip? 116 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:03,920 Of course. 117 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:06,710 Can you show it to him? 118 00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:13,470 Yes, here is my courses are listed there. And this is my grade point 119 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,370 And, oh, this is an encouraging letter of recommendation from my mother. 120 00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:23,830 You know, Haleman, I really don't think we need to finish this interview. I 121 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:26,070 think we know everything we need to know about you. 122 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,030 You're definitely Theta Pi material, and we want you to pledge the fraternity. 123 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:34,750 So off he went to bluer sky. 124 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,700 to sing a song or play a game. 125 00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:44,920 But ere he went, he turned to cry, Robin Redbreast is my name. 126 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,180 Can you guess? 127 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,960 Or have you heard? 128 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:53,960 My little friend is but a bird. 129 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:58,280 I was only 17 when I wrote this. 130 00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:02,360 You're a real child prodigy, Dad. 131 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:06,840 Oh, Jen, you're just being... stubborn. I know this is a wonderful poem, right, 132 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,020 Elise? I don't like it. 133 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,780 Is your name Elise? 134 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,500 I was talking to your mother. 135 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,080 Okay, Jen, I'll tell you what. We'll write it together. It doesn't have to be 136 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,440 good. Okay, Jen, now let's take another crack at it. The only thing I suggest is 137 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,620 if you have to use a word like depressed. 138 00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:36,950 Try to find a nice rhyme for it. Like what? How about Robin Redbreast? 139 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,750 Come on. 140 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:45,990 Mom, Mommy, you are looking at a man who just did the impossible. I mean, 141 00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:49,030 compared to this feat, the Alaskan Pipeline is a garden hose. 142 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,150 The Eiffel Tower, it's a hat rack. 143 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:58,370 I get Skippy Handleman into the best fraternity on the Grand College campus. 144 00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:00,810 There is nothing I cannot do. 145 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,410 Very good of you, Alex. I mean, you know how important this is to Skippy. 146 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,390 You know, Mom, I was a little nervous about going over there and asking those 147 00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:09,370 guys to do this to me. You should have seen them. 148 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,090 They were falling all over themselves trying to please me. You know, I forget 149 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,930 how powerful and omnipotent I am. 150 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,930 I got to write a note to remind myself. 151 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,190 Yeah, I'll remember. 152 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,230 I'll bet you will. 153 00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:27,470 Hey. 154 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,130 Eric. 155 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:31,330 Alex. 156 00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:36,830 Probably the master list of the pledges. 157 00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:39,190 Names, majors, their parents, net income. 158 00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:40,470 Hey, give me, give me. 159 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:43,130 I love going through these lists. 160 00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:47,350 Every chapter's showing real growth and prosperity, but we have a little problem 161 00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:48,350 with the grant chapter. 162 00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:50,470 What do you expect with those bozos? 163 00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,830 Yeah, what's the problem with the grant chapter? They're doing the big stooge 164 00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:54,950 again. Can you believe it? 165 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,570 Just like these guys would do something like that. 166 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:02,770 What's the big stooge? The big stooge. They pick out the nerdiest guy they can 167 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:06,390 find. Lie to him, tell him they're actually interested in his membership, 168 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:09,970 humiliate him for a week during hazing, and then not select him. 169 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,250 What's the name of this big stooge? 170 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,770 Handelman. Erwin Handelman. 171 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:19,330 Skippy Handelman. 172 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,050 What's the matter? 173 00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:23,730 Erwin Handelman. Skippy Handelman. He's a friend of mine. 174 00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,410 I gotta tell him. Wait, you can't tell. 175 00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:30,370 That's against the code. You'd be betraying sacred fraternity trust. 176 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:35,460 I hate this big stooge business just as much as you do, but if you breathe a 177 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,700 word into the handleman, you're out of the fraternity. 178 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,520 Jen, I came up with a great new ending to your poem. Now, wait till you hear 179 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,640 this. The caterpillar turns into a butterfly. 180 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,240 That's a stunning twist, Dad. 181 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:58,460 But I really don't need that poem anymore. I wrote another one. 182 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,460 Oh, well, can I read it? 183 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,680 I tried to use some of the phrases you suggested. You know, the things that 184 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,639 rhyme and stuff. 185 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:10,359 Oh, good. 186 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:16,120 Good. Well, I looked down at the car and felt depressed. 187 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,340 For under the tire lay Robin Redbread. 188 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,420 Come on, Jen. We have work to do. 189 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,120 Mom, help. 190 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,040 It's a part of life, honey. 191 00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:35,810 Hey, Mom. 192 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:37,850 Hi. Did Annie go down to sleep okay? 193 00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:40,010 Yeah, I read him his favorite bedtime story. 194 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,870 He was out cold by the time Nixon left for China. 195 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:52,230 Alex, I can't believe Skippy. He's outside on the lawn wearing a dress, 196 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,850 I am woman, hear me roar. 197 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,410 It's a beautiful dress. 198 00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,830 Yeah, yeah, it's, um... 199 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:07,010 Initiation night at Theta Pi. It's part of the ritual to put on a fancy dress. 200 00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,170 Well, I hope he doesn't spill anything on it. I'd like to borrow it. 201 00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:13,270 Billy's putting his little heart into it. 202 00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:18,770 Gotta hand it to you. It was really sweet of you to get Skippy into Theta 203 00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:22,290 It's done amazing things for him. He's getting more attention at school. 204 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,510 He's more confident. 205 00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,410 It's just made a world of difference. 206 00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,290 You should be really proud of yourself. 207 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,190 No, I mean it. 208 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,470 Don't be modest, Alex. 209 00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:38,170 I mean, how many chances do I get to compliment you? 210 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:40,270 Okay. 211 00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:41,790 Thanks. 212 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,670 Such a beautiful thing. 213 00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:52,330 Skippy's your friend, and you cared enough to go the extra mile. 214 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,730 I mean, how many guys would do something like that? 215 00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:56,490 You're very special. 216 00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:58,190 You're really getting on my nerves, Carrie. 217 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,470 Connor! 218 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:01,730 All right, Mal. 219 00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:05,190 If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell anyone? 220 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,610 Yes. 221 00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:13,790 Now, I mean it, Mal. 222 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:15,350 I mean, this is important. 223 00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:20,430 Alex, if I pray the word of it, may I pay retail for the rest of my life. 224 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:29,550 All right. 225 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,110 Here it is. 226 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,170 Skippy's a big stooge. 227 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,270 Alex, that secret's out. 228 00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:46,710 See, the truth is, he's not really being pledged into Theta Pi. 229 00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:50,090 They're stringing him along to humiliate him. 230 00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:52,390 They call it the big stooge. 231 00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:57,230 Well, wait. Why would Skippy go through all this if he knows he's not getting 232 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,230 in? 233 00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:00,830 He doesn't know. 234 00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,550 What? You didn't tell him? 235 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:05,350 He's your friend. I don't understand. 236 00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:09,450 Look, it's very simple. There is a code, okay? I swore an oath. 237 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,670 They'll throw me out of the fraternity. 238 00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:17,710 Well... Next big night. 239 00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:19,850 Aren't you going to wish me luck? 240 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:21,710 Luck? 241 00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:25,490 Mallory? 242 00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:28,990 Skippy, I've been thinking. 243 00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:35,110 Tonight would be a good night for us to go out on a date. 244 00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:47,170 I'm sorry, Mallory. It's breaking my heart, but I have to say no. 245 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:51,550 See, Theta Pi is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 246 00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:54,620 Tonight's initiation night. I can't miss that. 247 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,500 And this is the man who made it all possible right here, Alex. 248 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,960 Thank you, Alex. Hey, Skip, come on. It was nothing. 249 00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:07,980 Well, the next time you see me, I'll be a Theta Pi man. 250 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,080 Don't give me that disapproving look. What disapproving look? 251 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,160 This one. 252 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:26,090 The one you save for criminals and people with last year's haircuts. I 253 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:30,550 you're a little bit paranoid. 254 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,850 Skippy is better off this way. 255 00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:37,050 I mean, you said it yourself. 256 00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:40,390 You said he's getting a lot more attention at school. 257 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,330 He's more confident. 258 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,550 He's dressing better. 259 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,900 He may not get everything that he wants, but he'll have a couple of weeks in the 260 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,900 limelight if he will always remember. 261 00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:56,100 You keep telling yourself that, Alex. 262 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,160 And maybe someday you'll come to believe it. 263 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,520 Hey, 264 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,100 Keaton, what are you doing here? Where's Skippy? 265 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,500 He's upstairs with all the other pledges. 266 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,660 Oh, come on, who are you kidding? He's not pledging, and you know it, Brian. 267 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,540 Big stooge, huh? What the hell are you thinking about? 268 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,500 Whoa, what are you talking about? I don't know anything about any big 269 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,000 All right, look, this is Alex P. Keaton you're dealing with. 270 00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:28,620 I'm a member of the Interfraternity Council, and I go to a college where the 271 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,140 students actually have brains. 272 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,380 All right, sweet, the big stooge. So what? I'm taking Kippy home. 273 00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:41,460 Hey, Keaton, you're smart as you say you are. You ought to know this. 274 00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:45,650 You say one word about big dudes, you're out of this fraternity. 275 00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:51,910 You can't take away our big dudes. It's the best part of the evening. 276 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,250 Come on, we haven't even dipped them in mustard yet. 277 00:16:58,070 --> 00:17:00,830 I am woman. 278 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,630 Hey, Alex, what are you doing here? 279 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:08,250 I came to take you home, Skippy. Come on, let's go. I can't go now, Alex. They 280 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,550 haven't even dipped me in mustard yet. 281 00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:11,589 Skip, listen to me. 282 00:17:13,369 --> 00:17:15,369 You don't want to go in there, all right? 283 00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:18,130 What are you talking about, Alex? That's where all the hazing takes place. 284 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,550 That's where they're going to vote on me. 285 00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,690 They're not going to vote on you. Keaton, this is your final warning. 286 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,450 What do you mean they're not going to vote on me? 287 00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:27,230 Tell them, Brian. 288 00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,050 You tell them. 289 00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:30,350 Tell them what? 290 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,970 You're not getting into Theta Pi, Skippy. 291 00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,070 They never planned on letting you into the fraternity. 292 00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,830 They were just using you as a joke. 293 00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:47,050 I'm sorry. 294 00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:48,990 Is this true, Brent? 295 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:53,030 Keaton, I'm going to have you kicked out of Theater Park so far, your 296 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,690 grandchildren will never get in. 297 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,390 You do whatever you have to do. 298 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,590 Let's go, sir. No. 299 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:03,350 No, no, this can't be true. 300 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,640 Brian, I did everything you guys said. I bought the same clothes you guys wear. 301 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,440 I subscribed to GQ. 302 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,160 I even got the right kind of loafers. 303 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,760 Two of them! 304 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,560 You know, you got a lot of nerve, Keaton. 305 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,600 Coming in here and screwing up hell night. 306 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:24,180 You knew all along Hanlon was the big stooge. Why didn't you say something to 307 00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,180 him? 308 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,460 You knew, Alex? 309 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,240 Don't ever talk to me again! 310 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,200 Where have you been? 311 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,540 I was over at Grant College. They had a pie initiation night tonight. 312 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,220 Well, how did it go? Is Skippy a full -fledged member now? 313 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,440 No. Skippy's not a member. 314 00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:51,260 Skippy's not going to be a member. 315 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,560 And, uh, in all probability, I'm not a member anymore either. 316 00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:58,660 Well, what happened? 317 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,060 They never had any intention of letting him in. 318 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:02,520 It was a joke. 319 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,640 I mean, all they wanted to do was make fun of him. 320 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,540 The worst part is I knew about it, and I didn't say anything. 321 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,410 Are you serious, Alex? 322 00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:12,910 You knew and you didn't tell us? 323 00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:14,490 That's right. He knew and he didn't tell. 324 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,590 Why wouldn't you tell? 325 00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:22,910 Look, Ma, I don't want to go through it, okay? It's just a little too painful. 326 00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:32,210 You see, Alex started out trying to do something nice, which is rare in itself, 327 00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,670 which is why I remember this so well. 328 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,740 Alex wanted to get Skippy into Theta Pi, so he took him over there. The boys 329 00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:41,320 said yes, but what Alex didn't know is that they had no intention of pledging 330 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,280 Skippy. They just want to make him the big stooge. 331 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,620 When Alex found out, he wanted to tell, but he couldn't tell because he was 332 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:49,420 afraid of breaking the code. What code, I said? He said the code of Theta Pi. 333 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:56,260 He said they'd throw him out of the fraternity, become a social outcast, 334 00:19:56,260 --> 00:20:00,080 all his chances of a big career in business, a job on Wall Street, an 335 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,920 in New York. He said he couldn't tell. He said he wouldn't tell, but tonight... 336 00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,030 Tonight he told. I love him for it. 337 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,910 I can't believe I held it in for so long. I thought I was going to explode. 338 00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:12,990 You did. 339 00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:19,610 Skip, you okay? 340 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:20,970 What's up? 341 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,650 I'm okay. 342 00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:32,350 We heard what happened, honey. We're sorry. 343 00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:35,230 I really would like to speak to Alex alone for a little bit. 344 00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,270 Sure, sure. We were just going up anyway. 345 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,670 Hey, you look cold. 346 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,150 Put this on. 347 00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,310 So where'd you go anyway? I called your place five times. 348 00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:50,170 I went up to Grover Lake. 349 00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,130 I like to go up there after I've made a fool out of myself. 350 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230 I go up there a lot. 351 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,710 Skippy, I can't tell you how sorry I am. 352 00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,470 Alex. Alex. 353 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:34,260 Why do these things always happen to me? Why am I always everybody's big stooge? 354 00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:43,000 You're just not in your time yet, Skip. That's all I mean. 355 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,740 You'll grow into it. You know, you are going to be a late bloomer. 356 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,780 If I don't bloom soon, they're going to have to replant me. 357 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,020 What's wrong with me? 358 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:56,020 Kippy, there's nothing wrong with you. 359 00:21:57,490 --> 00:22:01,170 Look, people are going to take advantage of you because you're a little too 360 00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,170 open. 361 00:22:02,910 --> 00:22:07,790 You're a little too trusting, a little too accepting sometimes, but that's 362 00:22:07,790 --> 00:22:08,790 problem. 363 00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:13,310 Skippy, you're one of the only truly good people I know. 364 00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:17,090 I don't understand, Alex. You're always on the inside. 365 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:18,710 I'm always on the outside. 366 00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:20,930 It's been that way ever since we were kids. 367 00:22:22,190 --> 00:22:24,330 Do you remember that time we both learned to ride bikes? 368 00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:28,310 You got right on, started pedaling, and kept going all the way down the hill. 369 00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:31,530 I got on, coasted five feet, and killed a cat. 370 00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:41,170 It's just that our styles are a little different. Skip, that's all. 371 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:43,950 Any day now that's going to change. 372 00:22:44,350 --> 00:22:47,070 You're going to take those training wheels off. 373 00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,650 And when you do, watch out world. 374 00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:53,110 Watch out cats. 375 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,880 Thank you, Alex. 376 00:22:58,940 --> 00:23:02,540 You know, we could start sort of a fraternity of our own. 377 00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,640 All we need is a secret handshake. 378 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,300 You got it, Skip. 379 00:23:44,330 --> 00:23:45,330 Sit, Ubu, sit. 380 00:23:45,670 --> 00:23:46,670 Good dog. 30784

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