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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:16,620 I bet we've been together for a million years. 2 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,720 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 3 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,580 Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed. 4 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,960 And I can't remember what I ever did before. 5 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:38,140 What would we do, baby, without us? 6 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,820 What would we do, baby, without us? 7 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:50,020 And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. 8 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,660 What would we do, baby, without us? 9 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,740 Sha -la -la -la. 10 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,420 Okay, who wants more cocoa? 11 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,660 I do. 12 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,200 Okay, well, I'll make some more. 13 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,760 Stephen, why don't you give me a hand? 14 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,040 Let's lick the spoon. 15 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,880 So good to me. 16 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,100 So, Alex, if Mallory hadn't interrupted your interview, you might have gone to 17 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,400 Princeton, and I never would have met you. 18 00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:23,440 Well, that's fine for you, Ellen, but there's some girl in Princeton crying 19 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,440 eyes out right now. 20 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,240 I got a great story to tell you, Ellen, now that my parents are out of the room. 21 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,360 Oh, I like the sound of this. 22 00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:33,720 When I was 16, I had this boyfriend, and I stupidly went to Alex for advice. 23 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:38,450 Well, he and my dad were recording spontaneous family conversations for 24 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:39,590 Jennifer's school project. 25 00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:44,010 So when I walked in, my dad put the tape recorder on without my knowing it and 26 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,010 left the room. 27 00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,390 See you later, son. 28 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,520 I want to ask you a question. 29 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,240 I'm all ears. 30 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,660 Well, you're a guy. 31 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,800 Mallory, I'm not just a guy. 32 00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,500 I like to think of myself as a guy and a half. 33 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:29,760 What's up? 34 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,580 Okay, I was wondering, how important is sex to a guy? 35 00:02:34,799 --> 00:02:36,500 I'd say it has a certain importance. 36 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,340 Well, on a scale of one to ten. Thirty -five. 37 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,640 That's what I thought. 38 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,780 Why are you asking me this? 39 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,580 I'm just making conversation. 40 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,740 No, no, no, no, no. This is not conversation. 41 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:52,580 Conversation is, uh, how you doing? Uh, looks like rain. 42 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200 Care for a waffle? 43 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,080 There's something going on here. You're not telling me. 44 00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,160 Wait a minute, Mallory. 45 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,740 Uh... Has Rick asked you to visit his teepee? 46 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,940 You mean sleep with him? 47 00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,080 Yeah. Yeah, has he? 48 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,780 Well, yeah, he has. 49 00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020 Oh. 50 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,440 Well, when you said you wouldn't sleep with him, I mean, you weren't nice to 51 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,180 him. I mean, you let him down easy, I hope. 52 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,080 I said yes. 53 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,720 I see. 54 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,870 Uh, just a moment. 55 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:56,470 Are you crazy? 56 00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,290 Is this the way I brought you up? 57 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,700 Look, Mallory, you're making a big mistake here. You're 16 years old. That 58 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,698 too young. 59 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:09,840 Well, have you ever? 60 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,800 Have I ever what? 61 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,200 Had someone visit your teepee. 62 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,440 Me? Of course I have. 63 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,440 But I was much older than you. 64 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,640 You're 16. 65 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,620 I was 17. 66 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,240 I was 17, eight months and three days, and I was leap year. You're babbling, 67 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,280 Alex. 68 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,000 Look, Mallory, you just can't do this. It's wrong. 69 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,560 You're not ready yet. 70 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,760 What wasn't wrong when you did it? Oh, come on, that's different. I'm a guy. 71 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,560 That is such a double standard, Alex. 72 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,600 If a guy loses his virginity, he's some kind of hero, but if a girl does, she's 73 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,040 ruined her life. That's stupid. 74 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:58,340 Well, it may be stupid, but it's the law of nature. 75 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,020 You can't fight that. 76 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,600 Look, it's your duty as a woman to say no. 77 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,080 You know, if women shouldn't have responsibility, men, uh, men would never 78 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,080 any work done. 79 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,860 Well, Alex, it's obvious that you can't be objective about this. 80 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,840 Why do you want to do this, Mallory? 81 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,880 Well, I care very much about Rick. 82 00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,760 And I'm attracted to him. 83 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:28,860 I'm curious. 84 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,560 Oh, Mallory. 85 00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:33,990 Why don't you, uh, why don't you talk to Mom about this? 86 00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:36,030 She lives for this stuff. 87 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:45,150 I can't do that, Alex. You know how hard it is to talk to parents about this? 88 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:50,130 All right, okay, well, whatever you decide to do, don't do it. 89 00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:54,710 Alex, I know in your own warped way you've tried to help. 90 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,270 I appreciate it. 91 00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:02,970 Why are these kids in such a hurry to grow up? 92 00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:08,990 Well, I didn't go through with it. I decided I wasn't ready. I saved their 93 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,070 How can you say that? Oh, come on, Mary. 94 00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:13,710 Hey, 95 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,410 what's all the noise about? 96 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:16,650 Nothing. 97 00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,790 Look what I found scratching at the back door. 98 00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:19,789 Hi, guys. 99 00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:20,790 Skippy, have a seat. 100 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:25,410 Oh, all right. What are you guys doing? Oh, we're just telling stories, having 101 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:26,189 some fun. 102 00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,190 Alex stories. 103 00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:28,470 Oh, can I tell one? 104 00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:29,710 Go ahead, Skippy. 105 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,620 Well, my favorite Alex story is the time he rented out the house while Mr. and 106 00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:35,620 Mrs. Keaton were away. 107 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,200 Oh, this is a great one, Al. This is during Leland's homecoming game last 108 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,340 Okay, the ad is in the paper. What's her state of readiness, Skipper? All 109 00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:48,520 systems are go, Chief. The baby's room is in a state of rental preparedness. 110 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:53,040 This feels weird to me, renting out a room in our own house. 111 00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,500 Well, Jen, don't take of it as renting. 112 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,900 All we're doing is letting strangers use a room in our home. 113 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,400 For money. 114 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,280 You know what I think? 115 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,820 Don't ask the impossible, Mallory. 116 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:12,340 Alex, I think that Mom and Dad would not approve of this. 117 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,140 Oh, come on, Mallory. You underestimate our parents. 118 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,760 They are thoughtful, generous people. 119 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,920 And I think they'd be thrilled to know we were using their home to shelter 120 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,920 travelers. 121 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,100 You mean we're going to tell them? 122 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,600 What, are you crazy? 123 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,180 Things got out of hand real quick. 124 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:34,220 I believe the ad said 75 a night. Right. Wait a minute. We want that room. I'll 125 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,220 give you 80. 126 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,500 80? 127 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:40,420 80? I'm sorry, sir. That's not the way I do business. 128 00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,160 Now, you offend me. 129 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,000 The Driscolls were here first, then they should get the room. 130 00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:49,600 Make it 90. I'm not as offended anymore. 131 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:54,160 Do something, Jack. I'm not going to sleep in the car again. We slept in the 132 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,920 last year for homecoming. I still have ashtray marks on my neck. 133 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,040 95. 96. 134 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,640 97. 98. 135 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,240 98. 50. 99. 136 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,720 Wait a minute. Wait just one minute. 137 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,780 That's a big house. 138 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:15,300 What are we all bidding on one room for? I mean, there's lots of rooms in this 139 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,120 place. Please, look, there's only one room for rent. The others are occupied. 140 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,090 Little girl, do you have a room? 141 00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,590 Yes. I'll give you a hundred bucks for it. You got it. 142 00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,670 I have a room. 143 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:34,090 Everything was under control, but then Dad called to say he was coming home 144 00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,370 early. We had to get everybody out. 145 00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,230 Our guests had other ideas. 146 00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:40,049 I hope you don't mind. I invited a few people. Oh, mind. 147 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,270 It doesn't matter. 148 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,960 We captured the other team's mascot. We got the Crawford Kangaroo. 149 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,300 They captured the Crawford Kangaroo. 150 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,740 This is a day we will never forget. 151 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,020 Dad was really furious at us. Mallory, I'd rather not talk about it. 152 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:47,240 Look, do you, uh, plan on being mad at us for the rest of your life? 153 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,840 That is my plan. 154 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,640 But, Dad, we're your flesh and blood. 155 00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:04,560 Yeah, yeah, Dad, we're... 156 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,800 Remember how cute we were when we were babies? 157 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,420 Yeah, well, I'm still a baby, Dad. 158 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,820 Will you read me a book, Daddy? 159 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,860 Yeah, Daddy, read us all a book. 160 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,780 Come on, Dad, don't go away. 161 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,180 You always said that we should talk about these things. 162 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:33,880 Alex, parents are conditioned to accept a... 163 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:38,660 A few minor problems when they leave their children alone at home. 164 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,380 Spilled milk on the rug. 165 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,100 Broken dish. 166 00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,940 There was a kangaroo. 167 00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,020 In my living room. 168 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,280 He was just here for the party, Dad. 169 00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:04,800 Then I guess I'm overreacting. 170 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,900 Dad, if you just give us a chance, we can explain everything. 171 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,840 Well, can you? 172 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,640 Can you explain the valet parking in the driveway? 173 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,720 The flashing vacancy sign in front of the house? 174 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,320 The billboard on Route 41? 175 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,300 Look, Dad, I just lost my head, you know? 176 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,080 When the money started rolling in, I got out of control. 177 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,380 I could smell it. I could taste it. 178 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:51,860 I could hear it calling me at night saying, Alex, at last we'll be together. 179 00:11:57,460 --> 00:12:02,180 Dad, I guess you could just say that I kind of became a moneyholic. 180 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,160 Dad, I need help. 181 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,620 Did I miss anything? 182 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,420 Yeah, they're moving in for the kill now, Mom. I'm being held responsible for 183 00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:19,860 everything except the thinking of the Titanic. 184 00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,980 Where were you on that night, Alex? 185 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,340 I admit it, Alex. You do have a talent for creating disasters wherever you go. 186 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,300 That's true, but he means no harm. 187 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:32,180 At last, a lone voice cries out in my defense. 188 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,020 Careful, Mom. They'll go after you. 189 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:37,260 Does that mean you don't have any Alex stories to tell me, Mrs. Keegan? 190 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,860 No words to the wise? 191 00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:40,480 I didn't say that. 192 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,880 You're my last hope. 193 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,900 Well, do you remember the big fight we had on your 18th birthday? 194 00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:51,640 Well, Stephen was on a business trip, and so the girls and I were going to 195 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,680 Alex out to celebrate, but he decided he wanted to go with his friends to some 196 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,780 sleazy bar in West Virginia. 197 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:02,380 The Camelot Inn is a very elegant establishment, Ellen. 198 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,110 I'll take you there some night for the hog -calling contest. 199 00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:07,690 Well, I didn't want him to go. 200 00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:12,210 The girls and I had been planning this for a long time, and I didn't think that 201 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,290 he should drive 200 miles just to go to a bar. 202 00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:16,350 But he went anyway. 203 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:20,910 Neil had set up some dates for us, but in order to impress them, he had to tell 204 00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,210 a few small lies. 205 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:27,430 I'd like you girls to meet a couple of young airport cadets under my charge. 206 00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,830 This is Lieutenant Lipman. Ladies. 207 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,730 And this is Colonel Keaton. 208 00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,130 Uh, how you doing? 209 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:43,190 This is a big night for Colonel Keaton, girls. Tomorrow morning at 0500 hours, 210 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,850 he flies his first mission into hostile enemy territory. 211 00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:48,770 Really? Come on, Neil. 212 00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,110 Well, he's exaggerating. 213 00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:54,270 A little. 214 00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:55,570 What do you mean? 215 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,400 Well, it's not my first mission. It's my first solo mission. 216 00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,880 Yeah, and I'm going with them. 217 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:13,780 What country are you attacking? 218 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,760 Oh, Canada. 219 00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:21,520 You're not at war with Canada, are we? 220 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,320 Tell me, Buffy, what place is there for fear in a struggle whose ultimate goal 221 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,240 is nothing less than the survival of liberty? 222 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,500 I don't know. 223 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,240 Are you scared? 224 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,520 Let me tell you a little story about fear, Buffy. 225 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,060 About a year ago, I'm up in my F -14 doing a test flight. 226 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,180 I'm about... 70 ,000 feet up. I had that puppy going Mach 2. 227 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:59,500 All of a sudden, the fan belt goes out of me. 228 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,840 And you know something? Any other pilot in that situation might have felt fear. 229 00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:11,280 But, uh, not this guy. No, sir. 230 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:16,480 Uh, Alec? That's Colonel Keaton. I'm sorry, Colonel Keaton, I mean? 231 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,900 What is it? Your mother's here. 232 00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,550 I want you to come home with me. 233 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:36,210 Excuse me, but the colonel happens to be my date. 234 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:39,810 The colonel. 235 00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,570 Uh, yeah, maybe some other time. 236 00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:55,270 Tonight is a big night for him. Tomorrow morning he's in date in Canada. 237 00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:06,630 have been radically changed. 238 00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:12,950 Um, Mrs. Keaton, would you please not tell my mom that you saw me here? 239 00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,630 Why is his mother here? 240 00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:24,510 She probably came down to wish him luck on his mission tomorrow. 241 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,990 You had no right to defy me, Alex. I want you to leave with me right now. 242 00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:33,390 No, Mom, this is crazy. Look, we can talk about this later, tomorrow morning. 243 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:35,950 You're invading... Canada tomorrow morning. 244 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:41,370 Mom, I'm not leaving with you. No way. 245 00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:45,050 You are coming home with me right now, young man, and that is final. 246 00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:56,450 Hi. 247 00:16:56,990 --> 00:17:02,790 Uh, Neil, Doug, lady, I gotta go. 248 00:17:06,910 --> 00:17:08,190 Have a safe mission. 249 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:18,910 The real firework started when Colonel Keaton and I got 250 00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:19,769 back home. 251 00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:20,790 He's still out there, Mom. 252 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,109 Is he going to stay in the car all night? 253 00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:24,930 He'll have to come in for breakfast. 254 00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,390 Can't we just put a bull out by the back door? 255 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,350 Then why don't we... I'm with you. 256 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:44,970 I'm with you. 257 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:55,570 Mom, I made a pact with myself never to speak to you again. 258 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,990 But I've given myself permission to suspend it. 259 00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:05,810 Briefly. Because frankly, Mom, the curiosity is killing me. 260 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,350 How on earth? 261 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,220 Can you possibly justify doing what you did to me tonight? 262 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,540 Go ahead. I'm listening. 263 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,180 Oh, I know. 264 00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,740 I know. You're mad because I disobeyed you. 265 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,140 Well, let me tell you something, Mom. 266 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,280 I only disobeyed you because you were wrong. 267 00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:28,340 Without just cause or provocation, you denied me permission to do something I 268 00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,520 have every right in the world to do. 269 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:31,940 Oh, sure. 270 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,320 Sure, this is your house. 271 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:40,710 And as long as it's your house, I gotta live by your rules. Well, that used to 272 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:41,549 be true. 273 00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:42,550 Not anymore, Mom. 274 00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:46,250 I'm an adult now. I got 18 years under this belt. 275 00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:51,350 And my life is in my own hands. 276 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,370 Have you anything else to say? 277 00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:00,190 I thought not. 278 00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:02,929 All right, Mom. 279 00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,290 Okay, I think I've refuted all your arguments. 280 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:09,990 Until you are ready to apologize to me, I am done speaking with you. 281 00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:14,010 Oh, I didn't realize you started speaking with me. 282 00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:16,870 What is that supposed to mean? 283 00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:23,390 The past two days, Alex, you have complained to me, grunted at me, 284 00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,830 me, and presented me with ultimatums, but not once. 285 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:28,970 Not once have you even come close to talking with me. 286 00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:31,690 Semantics. 287 00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,409 Okay, Mom. 288 00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,410 All right, okay. 289 00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,670 Okay, I haven't been very chatty lately. 290 00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,350 I haven't been a million laughs. 291 00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:44,150 That is not the issue here. 292 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:47,950 The issue here is my right to live my own life without having you try and 293 00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:51,370 control it. You have every right to live your own life. I'm not trying to deny 294 00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,370 you that. 295 00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:53,630 Oh, no. 296 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,610 Oh, 297 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:59,810 no. Okay, then why did you drive a hundred miles and humiliate me in front 298 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,970 half the state of West Virginia? 299 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,610 You had a few hours to kill. 300 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,080 I did it because you defied me. 301 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:15,960 And even more important than that, I did it because I was hurt and angry and fed 302 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:16,960 up. 303 00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:18,620 About what? 304 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,400 I've tried starting conversations with you only to be politely dismissed. 305 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,220 I've asked you to help around the house and been ignored. 306 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:32,300 You canceled out dinner plans that I had made without a moment's thought to my 307 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,300 concern in the matter. 308 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:37,680 I do not enjoy being made to feel like an intrusion and an annoyance in my 309 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,680 own... 310 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:46,260 Look, Mom, I'm sorry that I wasn't more sensitive. 311 00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:47,660 Okay, I guess I should have been. 312 00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:52,640 But I'm not used to thinking that way when it pertains to you. 313 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,380 I mean, I think of you as my mother, not as a person. 314 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,200 You know what I mean. 315 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,840 Surprise, Alex. 316 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,660 I am a real person. 317 00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:11,290 sense i was wrong not to let you go out with your friends but if you want me to 318 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:16,390 respect your rights as an adult then you better start respecting mine okay i 319 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:22,390 didn't respect your rights and you didn't respect mine so uh how do we 320 00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:29,070 out who's right and who's wrong here there is no absolute right or wrong 321 00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:33,610 it's my job as a parent to to set boundaries and it's your job to 322 00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:34,610 change them 323 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,540 in an argument because you wanted to walk to school by yourself. 324 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,200 I remember. 325 00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:43,840 I remember. 326 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,940 And I was right. 327 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,840 And you let me go. 328 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,340 Yes. But I followed you. 329 00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,260 And I hid behind trees and mailboxes to make sure you looked both ways and you 330 00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:01,260 crossed on the green. 331 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,960 Did I? 332 00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:05,980 Yes. 333 00:22:09,259 --> 00:22:13,120 In fact, when another kid tried to cross in the middle of the block, he made a 334 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,120 citizen's arrest. 335 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,580 Yeah, that was little Timmy Dugan. I let him off for the warning. 336 00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:33,160 It's unbelievable to me, Alex, that 18 years ago tonight, I 337 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,160 had a baby boy. 338 00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:36,990 Me, right? 339 00:22:40,830 --> 00:22:44,590 Ever since that night, you've been trying so hard to grow up, and I've been 340 00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:47,750 trying so hard not to let it happen. 341 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:55,910 Well, considering we have been at cross purposes, I think we're doing all right. 342 00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:02,670 Mom, I'm sorry. I've been treating you so rotten lately. 343 00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:09,830 I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. 344 00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:11,430 Ah, don't worry about it. 345 00:23:12,070 --> 00:23:13,490 I had to go to bed early anyway. 346 00:23:15,990 --> 00:23:17,610 I'm attacking Canada in the morning. 347 00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:21,950 Good luck. 348 00:23:22,070 --> 00:23:23,070 Thank you. 349 00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:24,310 And happy birthday. 350 00:23:24,810 --> 00:23:25,810 Thank you. 351 00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:27,990 I love you, honey. Ah, 352 00:23:29,230 --> 00:23:30,850 Mom, don't start that stuff. 353 00:23:33,610 --> 00:23:34,850 I love you too, Mom. 354 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,040 Some night. I'll never forget it. 355 00:23:39,260 --> 00:23:40,260 Not surprised. 356 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:42,240 No one in this family ever forgets anything. 357 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,099 Hey, everybody. 358 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:48,160 Andy's just about asleep. Do you want to come up and say goodnight to him? Oh, 359 00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:49,180 yes. 360 00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:50,800 Oh, uh, 361 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,240 are you two coming along? 362 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:55,880 No, we better not. 363 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,140 Who knows what incriminating stories Andy might have to tell Helen. 364 00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:05,180 So, after everything you've heard tonight, do you, uh... 365 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,860 still like me, or should I take the calculator back? 366 00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:13,000 Alex, do you really think anything your family told me came as a surprise? 367 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,740 I didn't exactly think it was common knowledge. 368 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:23,940 From the very beginning, I knew that there was something different about you. 369 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,580 Different as in good? 370 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:32,420 Different as in they've been a wonderful six months. 371 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,440 I love you. 372 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:36,720 Happy anniversary. 373 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,160 I love you, too. 374 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,500 Happy anniversary, Alex. 375 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,180 Did you really invest your father's money in the stock market? 376 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,940 Sit, Ubu, sit. 377 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,360 Good dog. 29635

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