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1
00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:16,620
I bet we've been together for a million
years.
2
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,720
And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.
3
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,580
Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.
4
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,960
And I can't remember what I ever did
before.
5
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:38,140
What would we do, baby, without us?
6
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,820
What would we do, baby, without us?
7
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:50,020
And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.
8
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,660
What would we do, baby, without us?
9
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,740
Sha -la -la -la.
10
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,420
Okay, who wants more cocoa?
11
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,660
I do.
12
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,200
Okay, well, I'll make some more.
13
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,760
Stephen, why don't you give me a hand?
14
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,040
Let's lick the spoon.
15
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,880
So good to me.
16
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,100
So, Alex, if Mallory hadn't interrupted
your interview, you might have gone to
17
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,400
Princeton, and I never would have met
you.
18
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:23,440
Well, that's fine for you, Ellen, but
there's some girl in Princeton crying
19
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,440
eyes out right now.
20
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,240
I got a great story to tell you, Ellen,
now that my parents are out of the room.
21
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,360
Oh, I like the sound of this.
22
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:33,720
When I was 16, I had this boyfriend, and
I stupidly went to Alex for advice.
23
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:38,450
Well, he and my dad were recording
spontaneous family conversations for
24
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:39,590
Jennifer's school project.
25
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So when I walked in, my dad put the tape
recorder on without my knowing it and
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00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,010
left the room.
27
00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,390
See you later, son.
28
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,520
I want to ask you a question.
29
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,240
I'm all ears.
30
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,660
Well, you're a guy.
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Mallory, I'm not just a guy.
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00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,500
I like to think of myself as a guy and a
half.
33
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:29,760
What's up?
34
00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,580
Okay, I was wondering, how important is
sex to a guy?
35
00:02:34,799 --> 00:02:36,500
I'd say it has a certain importance.
36
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,340
Well, on a scale of one to ten. Thirty
-five.
37
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,640
That's what I thought.
38
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,780
Why are you asking me this?
39
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,580
I'm just making conversation.
40
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,740
No, no, no, no, no. This is not
conversation.
41
00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:52,580
Conversation is, uh, how you doing? Uh,
looks like rain.
42
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200
Care for a waffle?
43
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,080
There's something going on here. You're
not telling me.
44
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,160
Wait a minute, Mallory.
45
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,740
Uh... Has Rick asked you to visit his
teepee?
46
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,940
You mean sleep with him?
47
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,080
Yeah. Yeah, has he?
48
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,780
Well, yeah, he has.
49
00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020
Oh.
50
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,440
Well, when you said you wouldn't sleep
with him, I mean, you weren't nice to
51
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,180
him. I mean, you let him down easy, I
hope.
52
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,080
I said yes.
53
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,720
I see.
54
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,870
Uh, just a moment.
55
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:56,470
Are you crazy?
56
00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,290
Is this the way I brought you up?
57
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,700
Look, Mallory, you're making a big
mistake here. You're 16 years old. That
58
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,698
too young.
59
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:09,840
Well, have you ever?
60
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,800
Have I ever what?
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00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,200
Had someone visit your teepee.
62
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,440
Me? Of course I have.
63
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,440
But I was much older than you.
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00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,640
You're 16.
65
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,620
I was 17.
66
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,240
I was 17, eight months and three days,
and I was leap year. You're babbling,
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00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,280
Alex.
68
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,000
Look, Mallory, you just can't do this.
It's wrong.
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00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,560
You're not ready yet.
70
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,760
What wasn't wrong when you did it? Oh,
come on, that's different. I'm a guy.
71
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,560
That is such a double standard, Alex.
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00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,600
If a guy loses his virginity, he's some
kind of hero, but if a girl does, she's
73
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,040
ruined her life. That's stupid.
74
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:58,340
Well, it may be stupid, but it's the law
of nature.
75
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,020
You can't fight that.
76
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,600
Look, it's your duty as a woman to say
no.
77
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,080
You know, if women shouldn't have
responsibility, men, uh, men would never
78
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,080
any work done.
79
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,860
Well, Alex, it's obvious that you can't
be objective about this.
80
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,840
Why do you want to do this, Mallory?
81
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,880
Well, I care very much about Rick.
82
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,760
And I'm attracted to him.
83
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:28,860
I'm curious.
84
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,560
Oh, Mallory.
85
00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:33,990
Why don't you, uh, why don't you talk to
Mom about this?
86
00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:36,030
She lives for this stuff.
87
00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:45,150
I can't do that, Alex. You know how hard
it is to talk to parents about this?
88
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:50,130
All right, okay, well, whatever you
decide to do, don't do it.
89
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:54,710
Alex, I know in your own warped way
you've tried to help.
90
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,270
I appreciate it.
91
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:02,970
Why are these kids in such a hurry to
grow up?
92
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:08,990
Well, I didn't go through with it. I
decided I wasn't ready. I saved their
93
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,070
How can you say that? Oh, come on, Mary.
94
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:13,710
Hey,
95
00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,410
what's all the noise about?
96
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:16,650
Nothing.
97
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,790
Look what I found scratching at the back
door.
98
00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:19,789
Hi, guys.
99
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:20,790
Skippy, have a seat.
100
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:25,410
Oh, all right. What are you guys doing?
Oh, we're just telling stories, having
101
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:26,189
some fun.
102
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,190
Alex stories.
103
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:28,470
Oh, can I tell one?
104
00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:29,710
Go ahead, Skippy.
105
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,620
Well, my favorite Alex story is the time
he rented out the house while Mr. and
106
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:35,620
Mrs. Keaton were away.
107
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,200
Oh, this is a great one, Al. This is
during Leland's homecoming game last
108
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,340
Okay, the ad is in the paper. What's her
state of readiness, Skipper? All
109
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:48,520
systems are go, Chief. The baby's room
is in a state of rental preparedness.
110
00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:53,040
This feels weird to me, renting out a
room in our own house.
111
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,500
Well, Jen, don't take of it as renting.
112
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,900
All we're doing is letting strangers use
a room in our home.
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00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,400
For money.
114
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,280
You know what I think?
115
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,820
Don't ask the impossible, Mallory.
116
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:12,340
Alex, I think that Mom and Dad would not
approve of this.
117
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,140
Oh, come on, Mallory. You underestimate
our parents.
118
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,760
They are thoughtful, generous people.
119
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,920
And I think they'd be thrilled to know
we were using their home to shelter
120
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,920
travelers.
121
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,100
You mean we're going to tell them?
122
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,600
What, are you crazy?
123
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,180
Things got out of hand real quick.
124
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:34,220
I believe the ad said 75 a night. Right.
Wait a minute. We want that room. I'll
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00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,220
give you 80.
126
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,500
80?
127
00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:40,420
80? I'm sorry, sir. That's not the way I
do business.
128
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,160
Now, you offend me.
129
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,000
The Driscolls were here first, then they
should get the room.
130
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:49,600
Make it 90. I'm not as offended anymore.
131
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:54,160
Do something, Jack. I'm not going to
sleep in the car again. We slept in the
132
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,920
last year for homecoming. I still have
ashtray marks on my neck.
133
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,040
95. 96.
134
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,640
97. 98.
135
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,240
98. 50. 99.
136
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,720
Wait a minute. Wait just one minute.
137
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:11,780
That's a big house.
138
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:15,300
What are we all bidding on one room for?
I mean, there's lots of rooms in this
139
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,120
place. Please, look, there's only one
room for rent. The others are occupied.
140
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,090
Little girl, do you have a room?
141
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,590
Yes. I'll give you a hundred bucks for
it. You got it.
142
00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,670
I have a room.
143
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:34,090
Everything was under control, but then
Dad called to say he was coming home
144
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,370
early. We had to get everybody out.
145
00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,230
Our guests had other ideas.
146
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:40,049
I hope you don't mind. I invited a few
people. Oh, mind.
147
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,270
It doesn't matter.
148
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,960
We captured the other team's mascot. We
got the Crawford Kangaroo.
149
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,300
They captured the Crawford Kangaroo.
150
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,740
This is a day we will never forget.
151
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,020
Dad was really furious at us. Mallory,
I'd rather not talk about it.
152
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:47,240
Look, do you, uh, plan on being mad at
us for the rest of your life?
153
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,840
That is my plan.
154
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,640
But, Dad, we're your flesh and blood.
155
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:04,560
Yeah, yeah, Dad, we're...
156
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,800
Remember how cute we were when we were
babies?
157
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,420
Yeah, well, I'm still a baby, Dad.
158
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,820
Will you read me a book, Daddy?
159
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,860
Yeah, Daddy, read us all a book.
160
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,780
Come on, Dad, don't go away.
161
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,180
You always said that we should talk
about these things.
162
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:33,880
Alex, parents are conditioned to accept
a...
163
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:38,660
A few minor problems when they leave
their children alone at home.
164
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,380
Spilled milk on the rug.
165
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,100
Broken dish.
166
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,940
There was a kangaroo.
167
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,020
In my living room.
168
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,280
He was just here for the party, Dad.
169
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:04,800
Then I guess I'm overreacting.
170
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,900
Dad, if you just give us a chance, we
can explain everything.
171
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,840
Well, can you?
172
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,640
Can you explain the valet parking in the
driveway?
173
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,720
The flashing vacancy sign in front of
the house?
174
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,320
The billboard on Route 41?
175
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,300
Look, Dad, I just lost my head, you
know?
176
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,080
When the money started rolling in, I got
out of control.
177
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,380
I could smell it. I could taste it.
178
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:51,860
I could hear it calling me at night
saying, Alex, at last we'll be together.
179
00:11:57,460 --> 00:12:02,180
Dad, I guess you could just say that I
kind of became a moneyholic.
180
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,160
Dad, I need help.
181
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,620
Did I miss anything?
182
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,420
Yeah, they're moving in for the kill
now, Mom. I'm being held responsible for
183
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:19,860
everything except the thinking of the
Titanic.
184
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,980
Where were you on that night, Alex?
185
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,340
I admit it, Alex. You do have a talent
for creating disasters wherever you go.
186
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,300
That's true, but he means no harm.
187
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:32,180
At last, a lone voice cries out in my
defense.
188
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,020
Careful, Mom. They'll go after you.
189
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:37,260
Does that mean you don't have any Alex
stories to tell me, Mrs. Keegan?
190
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,860
No words to the wise?
191
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:40,480
I didn't say that.
192
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,880
You're my last hope.
193
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,900
Well, do you remember the big fight we
had on your 18th birthday?
194
00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:51,640
Well, Stephen was on a business trip,
and so the girls and I were going to
195
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,680
Alex out to celebrate, but he decided he
wanted to go with his friends to some
196
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,780
sleazy bar in West Virginia.
197
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:02,380
The Camelot Inn is a very elegant
establishment, Ellen.
198
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,110
I'll take you there some night for the
hog -calling contest.
199
00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:07,690
Well, I didn't want him to go.
200
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:12,210
The girls and I had been planning this
for a long time, and I didn't think that
201
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,290
he should drive 200 miles just to go to
a bar.
202
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:16,350
But he went anyway.
203
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:20,910
Neil had set up some dates for us, but
in order to impress them, he had to tell
204
00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,210
a few small lies.
205
00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:27,430
I'd like you girls to meet a couple of
young airport cadets under my charge.
206
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,830
This is Lieutenant Lipman. Ladies.
207
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,730
And this is Colonel Keaton.
208
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,130
Uh, how you doing?
209
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:43,190
This is a big night for Colonel Keaton,
girls. Tomorrow morning at 0500 hours,
210
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,850
he flies his first mission into hostile
enemy territory.
211
00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:48,770
Really? Come on, Neil.
212
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,110
Well, he's exaggerating.
213
00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:54,270
A little.
214
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:55,570
What do you mean?
215
00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,400
Well, it's not my first mission. It's my
first solo mission.
216
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,880
Yeah, and I'm going with them.
217
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:13,780
What country are you attacking?
218
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,760
Oh, Canada.
219
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:21,520
You're not at war with Canada, are we?
220
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,320
Tell me, Buffy, what place is there for
fear in a struggle whose ultimate goal
221
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,240
is nothing less than the survival of
liberty?
222
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,500
I don't know.
223
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,240
Are you scared?
224
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,520
Let me tell you a little story about
fear, Buffy.
225
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,060
About a year ago, I'm up in my F -14
doing a test flight.
226
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,180
I'm about... 70 ,000 feet up. I had that
puppy going Mach 2.
227
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:59,500
All of a sudden, the fan belt goes out
of me.
228
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,840
And you know something? Any other pilot
in that situation might have felt fear.
229
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:11,280
But, uh, not this guy. No, sir.
230
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:16,480
Uh, Alec? That's Colonel Keaton. I'm
sorry, Colonel Keaton, I mean?
231
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,900
What is it? Your mother's here.
232
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,550
I want you to come home with me.
233
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:36,210
Excuse me, but the colonel happens to be
my date.
234
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:39,810
The colonel.
235
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,570
Uh, yeah, maybe some other time.
236
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:55,270
Tonight is a big night for him. Tomorrow
morning he's in date in Canada.
237
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:06,630
have been radically changed.
238
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:12,950
Um, Mrs. Keaton, would you please not
tell my mom that you saw me here?
239
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,630
Why is his mother here?
240
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:24,510
She probably came down to wish him luck
on his mission tomorrow.
241
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,990
You had no right to defy me, Alex. I
want you to leave with me right now.
242
00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:33,390
No, Mom, this is crazy. Look, we can
talk about this later, tomorrow morning.
243
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:35,950
You're invading... Canada tomorrow
morning.
244
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:41,370
Mom, I'm not leaving with you. No way.
245
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:45,050
You are coming home with me right now,
young man, and that is final.
246
00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:56,450
Hi.
247
00:16:56,990 --> 00:17:02,790
Uh, Neil, Doug, lady, I gotta go.
248
00:17:06,910 --> 00:17:08,190
Have a safe mission.
249
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:18,910
The real firework started when Colonel
Keaton and I got
250
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:19,769
back home.
251
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:20,790
He's still out there, Mom.
252
00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,109
Is he going to stay in the car all
night?
253
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:24,930
He'll have to come in for breakfast.
254
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,390
Can't we just put a bull out by the back
door?
255
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,350
Then why don't we... I'm with you.
256
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:44,970
I'm with you.
257
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:55,570
Mom, I made a pact with myself never to
speak to you again.
258
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,990
But I've given myself permission to
suspend it.
259
00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:05,810
Briefly. Because frankly, Mom, the
curiosity is killing me.
260
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,350
How on earth?
261
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,220
Can you possibly justify doing what you
did to me tonight?
262
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,540
Go ahead. I'm listening.
263
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,180
Oh, I know.
264
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,740
I know. You're mad because I disobeyed
you.
265
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,140
Well, let me tell you something, Mom.
266
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,280
I only disobeyed you because you were
wrong.
267
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:28,340
Without just cause or provocation, you
denied me permission to do something I
268
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,520
have every right in the world to do.
269
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:31,940
Oh, sure.
270
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,320
Sure, this is your house.
271
00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:40,710
And as long as it's your house, I gotta
live by your rules. Well, that used to
272
00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:41,549
be true.
273
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:42,550
Not anymore, Mom.
274
00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:46,250
I'm an adult now. I got 18 years under
this belt.
275
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:51,350
And my life is in my own hands.
276
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,370
Have you anything else to say?
277
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:00,190
I thought not.
278
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:02,929
All right, Mom.
279
00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,290
Okay, I think I've refuted all your
arguments.
280
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:09,990
Until you are ready to apologize to me,
I am done speaking with you.
281
00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:14,010
Oh, I didn't realize you started
speaking with me.
282
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:16,870
What is that supposed to mean?
283
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:23,390
The past two days, Alex, you have
complained to me, grunted at me,
284
00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,830
me, and presented me with ultimatums,
but not once.
285
00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:28,970
Not once have you even come close to
talking with me.
286
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:31,690
Semantics.
287
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,409
Okay, Mom.
288
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,410
All right, okay.
289
00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,670
Okay, I haven't been very chatty lately.
290
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,350
I haven't been a million laughs.
291
00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:44,150
That is not the issue here.
292
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:47,950
The issue here is my right to live my
own life without having you try and
293
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:51,370
control it. You have every right to live
your own life. I'm not trying to deny
294
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,370
you that.
295
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:53,630
Oh, no.
296
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,610
Oh,
297
00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:59,810
no. Okay, then why did you drive a
hundred miles and humiliate me in front
298
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,970
half the state of West Virginia?
299
00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,610
You had a few hours to kill.
300
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,080
I did it because you defied me.
301
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:15,960
And even more important than that, I did
it because I was hurt and angry and fed
302
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:16,960
up.
303
00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:18,620
About what?
304
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,400
I've tried starting conversations with
you only to be politely dismissed.
305
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,220
I've asked you to help around the house
and been ignored.
306
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:32,300
You canceled out dinner plans that I had
made without a moment's thought to my
307
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,300
concern in the matter.
308
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:37,680
I do not enjoy being made to feel like
an intrusion and an annoyance in my
309
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,680
own...
310
00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:46,260
Look, Mom, I'm sorry that I wasn't more
sensitive.
311
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:47,660
Okay, I guess I should have been.
312
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:52,640
But I'm not used to thinking that way
when it pertains to you.
313
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,380
I mean, I think of you as my mother, not
as a person.
314
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,200
You know what I mean.
315
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,840
Surprise, Alex.
316
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,660
I am a real person.
317
00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:11,290
sense i was wrong not to let you go out
with your friends but if you want me to
318
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:16,390
respect your rights as an adult then you
better start respecting mine okay i
319
00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:22,390
didn't respect your rights and you
didn't respect mine so uh how do we
320
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:29,070
out who's right and who's wrong here
there is no absolute right or wrong
321
00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:33,610
it's my job as a parent to to set
boundaries and it's your job to
322
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:34,610
change them
323
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,540
in an argument because you wanted to
walk to school by yourself.
324
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,200
I remember.
325
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:43,840
I remember.
326
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,940
And I was right.
327
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,840
And you let me go.
328
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,340
Yes. But I followed you.
329
00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,260
And I hid behind trees and mailboxes to
make sure you looked both ways and you
330
00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:01,260
crossed on the green.
331
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,960
Did I?
332
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:05,980
Yes.
333
00:22:09,259 --> 00:22:13,120
In fact, when another kid tried to cross
in the middle of the block, he made a
334
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,120
citizen's arrest.
335
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,580
Yeah, that was little Timmy Dugan. I let
him off for the warning.
336
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:33,160
It's unbelievable to me, Alex, that 18
years ago tonight, I
337
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,160
had a baby boy.
338
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:36,990
Me, right?
339
00:22:40,830 --> 00:22:44,590
Ever since that night, you've been
trying so hard to grow up, and I've been
340
00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:47,750
trying so hard not to let it happen.
341
00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:55,910
Well, considering we have been at cross
purposes, I think we're doing all right.
342
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:02,670
Mom, I'm sorry. I've been treating you
so rotten lately.
343
00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:09,830
I'm sorry I ruined your dinner.
344
00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:11,430
Ah, don't worry about it.
345
00:23:12,070 --> 00:23:13,490
I had to go to bed early anyway.
346
00:23:15,990 --> 00:23:17,610
I'm attacking Canada in the morning.
347
00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:21,950
Good luck.
348
00:23:22,070 --> 00:23:23,070
Thank you.
349
00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:24,310
And happy birthday.
350
00:23:24,810 --> 00:23:25,810
Thank you.
351
00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:27,990
I love you, honey. Ah,
352
00:23:29,230 --> 00:23:30,850
Mom, don't start that stuff.
353
00:23:33,610 --> 00:23:34,850
I love you too, Mom.
354
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,040
Some night. I'll never forget it.
355
00:23:39,260 --> 00:23:40,260
Not surprised.
356
00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:42,240
No one in this family ever forgets
anything.
357
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,099
Hey, everybody.
358
00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:48,160
Andy's just about asleep. Do you want to
come up and say goodnight to him? Oh,
359
00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:49,180
yes.
360
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:50,800
Oh, uh,
361
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,240
are you two coming along?
362
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:55,880
No, we better not.
363
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,140
Who knows what incriminating stories
Andy might have to tell Helen.
364
00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:05,180
So, after everything you've heard
tonight, do you, uh...
365
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,860
still like me, or should I take the
calculator back?
366
00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:13,000
Alex, do you really think anything your
family told me came as a surprise?
367
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,740
I didn't exactly think it was common
knowledge.
368
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:23,940
From the very beginning, I knew that
there was something different about you.
369
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,580
Different as in good?
370
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:32,420
Different as in they've been a wonderful
six months.
371
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,440
I love you.
372
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:36,720
Happy anniversary.
373
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,160
I love you, too.
374
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,500
Happy anniversary, Alex.
375
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,180
Did you really invest your father's
money in the stock market?
376
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,940
Sit, Ubu, sit.
377
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,360
Good dog.
29635
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