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I bet we've been together for a million
years.
2
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And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.
3
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:28,480
Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we did.
4
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:34,020
And I can't remember what I ever did
before.
5
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:39,200
What would we do, baby, without us?
6
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,640
What would we do, baby, without her?
7
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:51,100
And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.
8
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What would we do, baby, without her?
9
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,800
Sha -la -la -la.
10
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,940
Thanks for dinner, Mr. Keaton.
Everything was delicious.
11
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,960
Yes, my wife has a way with seaweed.
12
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,420
What's this over here?
13
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That's cooked lawn.
14
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I mow it.
15
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I rake it. And I cook it.
16
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Come on, Elise.
17
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:24,720
We better get going. The car dealer's
closing in an hour. What kind of car are
18
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:25,499
you thinking of buying?
19
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:26,500
A sports car.
20
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Mallory, the whole reason for buying a
new car is to have more room for the
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baby. What would be the point of buying
a sports car?
22
00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:37,170
I'd look great in one.
23
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:44,770
Come on, Mallory, they'd be crazy to let
you drive the new car anyway.
24
00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:49,190
I happen to be a good driver, Alex. I
passed my road test on the third try,
25
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I almost passed on the second try.
26
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:57,030
And she could have if the examiner
hadn't been thrown from the car.
27
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:05,840
I don't care what kind of car we buy. As
long as it doesn't have those fake dye
28
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,360
things from the rear view mirror.
29
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,639
What are you guys going to do tonight?
30
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,840
Well, Alex and I are going to interview
some students for our new business.
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The Jarrett and Keaton Tutorial Service.
32
00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:19,720
That's right. Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. You mean the Keaton and Jarrett
33
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,000
Tutorial Service.
34
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,080
Keaton and Associates.
35
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Why not just Keaton?
36
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,100
All right. Okay. Have it your way.
37
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,360
Who would come to you? you guys to be
tutored anyway.
38
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,720
We could get rich off your friends
alone, ma 'am.
39
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:43,220
Well, I think it's nice to see you guys
cooperating for a change.
40
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,780
What does that mean, Mom?
41
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,880
Oh, come on. You two are the most
competitive guys I know.
42
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,640
Us? Compete?
43
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,360
Why do we ever compete over?
44
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,500
Okay, Elise, you ready to go?
45
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,260
Jan, you gonna look after the baby?
46
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,380
I think Alex will be okay on his own,
Mom.
47
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,600
Oh, you mean the other baby?
48
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,800
Yeah, I'll stay.
49
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,420
We'll see you later.
50
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,280
Yeah, hopefully in a Maserati.
51
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,380
Bye -bye. Good night.
52
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:23,680
Okay, let's get this place cleaned up.
We are professional tutors now. We gotta
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,360
make a good impression on our tutees.
54
00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:32,070
We are gonna have a very successful
business and... we're going to be
55
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a service for the college community.
56
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:35,550
And we're going to be rich.
57
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,570
Right. And we're going to split
everything down the middle.
58
00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:41,130
54 -46.
59
00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,070
Keaton, I recognize that look in your
eye.
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00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:46,710
What look?
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00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:50,670
That competitive look, like when we were
teammates in that bicycle race and you
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kept trying to ride away from me off in
your own direction.
63
00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,730
Come on, Jared, I saw a shortcut.
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00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,410
We were on a tandem bike.
65
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,240
And so basically what we offer is a bi
-weekly tutorial on those subjects
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00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,120
not performing up to your top standards
in.
67
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:11,040
That's great, but what I really need
help in is my schoolwork.
68
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,839
Well, that's what tutorial means,
William.
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00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:19,680
Oh.
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00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,420
Okay, well, I'll see you guys Tuesday
then, huh?
71
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,320
Hey, by the way, where do I go?
72
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,540
Uh, well, the tutorial will take place
here, William.
73
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,220
I mean, where do I go now?
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00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,940
Go home.
75
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,880
Go home.
76
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:39,680
See you Tuesday, William.
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00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:41,380
Woo, okay.
78
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,760
Hey, we did it. We bought the wagon
master. We pick it up next week. Whoa,
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00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:47,840
congratulations.
80
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,520
Yeah, it's economical.
81
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,140
It's well built. It's roomy. Ugly. It
looks like a refrigerator on wheels.
82
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:02,220
I wanted to get the Panther 4000 Turbo
XK at 0 to 100 in two seconds.
83
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,640
Mallory, I don't like buying a car that
requires a parachute to slow down.
84
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,880
I heard the Wagon Master's a real nice
car, Mr. Keaton.
85
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:18,520
Oh, it is a beauty, James. The salesman
says it seats eight comfortably and ten
86
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,520
uncomfortably.
87
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,200
I'm going to go check on Andy. It's time
for his bath. Oh, I'll come with you,
88
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,620
Lisa. I want to show him these dice.
89
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,510
Okay, so who's next?
90
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,730
Uh, just one more. Uh, Robin Green.
91
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,330
I don't know, I spoke to her on the
phone. She sounded pretty dull.
92
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:40,150
Hey, if we can tutor William, we can
tutor anyone.
93
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,550
Hi,
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00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,890
I'm, uh, I'm Alex Keaton.
95
00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:57,289
Robin Green.
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00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,290
Nice to meet you.
97
00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,890
Nice to meet you.
98
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:05,230
This is my partner, James Jarrett.
99
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:06,550
Hi.
100
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:09,890
Come in, come in, come in.
101
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,110
Thank you. Would you like something to
drink?
102
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:13,510
No, thanks.
103
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:14,890
Can I take your coat?
104
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:16,570
All right.
105
00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:19,390
Please sit down. Have a seat. Have a
seat.
106
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,110
This is a beautiful coat.
107
00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:27,810
Thank you.
108
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:37,190
Am I in the right house for the
tutoring?
109
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:44,190
Well, uh, William, that just about wraps
up today's session.
110
00:06:44,510 --> 00:06:45,610
How am I doing so far?
111
00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:47,130
Not bad.
112
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,930
You'll do even better next time if you
bring your book.
113
00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:53,150
Bring book, bring book.
114
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:04,870
Okay. Okay, now remember that this
Thursday is the 31st.
115
00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:12,730
30 days past Thursday, April... It's a
good thing we don't offer
116
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:13,730
a money -back guarantee.
117
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,470
Okay, who's next on the schedule
tonight?
118
00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:20,890
Uh, gee, uh, who's next?
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00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:27,350
Uh, Eddie Fenton canceled, so it's just,
uh, Robin.
120
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:28,630
Robin?
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00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:30,480
Yeah. Robin.
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00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:31,980
Right.
123
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,420
Robin.
124
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,620
Alex, let's be honest with each other.
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00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,220
I think it's safe to say that Robin is a
girl that one might consider to be
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00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,300
attractive.
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00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:44,940
Really?
128
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:49,820
Yeah, okay, now that you mention it, I
can't see how one might find her
129
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:54,300
attractive, sensuous, incredibly erotic.
130
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,180
Well, personally, I hadn't noticed.
131
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,680
I hadn't either.
132
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,660
But, you know, if two guys are trying to
run a business and they were to compete
133
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,780
over something like, say, a girl.
134
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:13,840
It could destroy the whole foundation
135
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840
of their partnership.
136
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,800
Yeah, of course it could. So what? So
they shouldn't compete.
137
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:19,500
Right. So let's not.
138
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,720
Right. Let's remain cool.
139
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,320
Detached.
140
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,470
Professional. Professional.
141
00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:28,710
Right.
142
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:39,130
Professional. Right.
143
00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:46,210
Hello. Robin, I had completely forgotten
it was your night tonight.
144
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Enter, enter.
145
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,970
Well, I brought my economics and my
poetry books.
146
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,730
Who's going to tutor me first?
147
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,010
I am.
148
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:56,370
Well, it doesn't matter to me.
149
00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:59,650
All I know is that when I study,
whatever I do last stays with me best.
150
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,690
Then do poetry first.
151
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:07,010
Do poetry. Take your time. I'll be back
in, what, roughly 40 minutes.
152
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,670
James, that is really funny.
153
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,850
I bet you never thought that Alexander
Pushkin was such an amusing poet.
154
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:20,230
But I always expected it.
155
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,160
Time's up.
156
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,200
Alex, that could not have been 40
minutes.
157
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,640
You guys are on a tight ship here.
158
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:40,080
Evidently. Though we seem to be a little
lacking in professional courtesy. Oh,
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00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:43,980
hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm professional,
buddy. I don't giggle when I tutor.
160
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,980
You know, James is really wonderful.
161
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:52,940
He is?
162
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,140
He's one of the brightest and most
interesting people I've met since I've
163
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,140
at Leland.
164
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,180
Yeah, well, uh, yeah.
165
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,640
He does make a good first impression.
166
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,480
In a superficial sort of way.
167
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:12,140
Oh, I think you'll find that I'm pretty
bright and amusing in my own right.
168
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,480
Only with more depth.
169
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,960
I'm sure I will.
170
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:20,840
Uh,
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00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:22,340
uh, Robin.
172
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,400
Uh, would you like to go out with me
tomorrow night?
173
00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,250
That's really nice of you to ask, Alec.
174
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:35,070
But James already invited me to a poetry
reading tomorrow night.
175
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,610
I can't believe it.
176
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:43,090
Great. Great.
177
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:48,350
Excuse me, Alec, can I use the phone in
the other room? Sure, go ahead.
178
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:55,530
I got a book.
179
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,419
How could you?
180
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,840
I just forgot it, that's all.
181
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:05,740
No, no, no. You forgot more than a book.
You forgot our agreement.
182
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:07,720
You asked her out. And so did you.
183
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,060
How did you know? I was listening at the
door.
184
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,300
How dare you.
185
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:19,500
That's it, Jared.
186
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,080
That's it. Our partnership is over.
187
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,920
Suits me just fine.
188
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,180
It was an ant.
189
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:49,120
And make certain to unfasten your
seatbelt before getting out of the car.
190
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,660
Dad, how much longer do we have to do
this?
191
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,600
There's only one more section to go.
192
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,680
Ah, your trunk, and welcome to it.
193
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,670
Now, where are you going?
194
00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:10,390
I thought I'd drive the new car over to
Chrissy's house.
195
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:12,910
No, she's kidding.
196
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:20,829
It's Mrs.
197
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:23,050
Opec. She got the new Panzer Turbo.
198
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,130
I can't believe it.
199
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:33,670
I specifically set aside this time to
play with the baby, and he's asleep.
200
00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:37,090
I mean, Mom, I love that kid, but he's
inconsiderate.
201
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:41,530
Alex, you've been in a bad mood all day.
What's your problem?
202
00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:42,870
It's you, Mallory.
203
00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:49,090
No, I'm sorry. It's not you.
204
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:50,770
It's just a reflex.
205
00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:53,349
It's James.
206
00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:54,350
What happened?
207
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:58,150
Oh, Dad, you're not going to believe
this when you hear it. I mean, are you
208
00:12:58,150 --> 00:13:01,690
ready for this? He invited Robin Green
to a poetry reading.
209
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,220
And he always seems so nice.
210
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,380
No, no, Dad, you don't understand. See,
she's one of our two T's.
211
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,180
Who's your other T?
212
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:31,360
Anyway... You see, James... James and I
are both attracted to this girl, so we
213
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,420
made a gentleman's agreement not to ask
her out.
214
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,060
Why?
215
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,980
It's obvious, Elise, without such a
contract, they might compete for her and
216
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,620
destroy their friendship in the process.
217
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,360
That's ridiculous.
218
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,600
They should be stronger than that.
219
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,220
Well, Elise, the male ego is a very
fragile thing.
220
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,560
Oh, that's stupid.
221
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:00,630
I'm hurt.
222
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:08,170
Alex, I'm surprised that James would do
such a thing. Yeah, me too, but he did.
223
00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:10,570
Well, now, how did you find out about
this?
224
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:15,690
Well, because she told me when I asked
her out for tonight.
225
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:20,530
Well, if you asked her out, then you are
just as guilty as James.
226
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:25,590
No, no, that's not true, Mom. See, I
only asked her out because I suspected
227
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:28,050
James had asked her out, which he had.
228
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,360
It was entirely a defensive move on my
part.
229
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:37,200
Then had we gone out, it would have been
purely a preemptive tactical date.
230
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:39,860
How romantic.
231
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,860
Hey, hey, no way. I'm tired. I don't
want to play now.
232
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,239
Coming, Andy?
233
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,460
Wait, Mom, Dad.
234
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,240
Mallory, Mallory, listen, you've got to
help me out with something.
235
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,700
You're sort of a girl.
236
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:03,650
James and I are both attracted to the
same girl. Now, what would you do if you
237
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:07,030
had two good -looking, intelligent guys
interested in you?
238
00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:09,030
What's that got to do with you and
James?
239
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,010
Come on, Mallory.
240
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,250
All right.
241
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:18,610
Look, if a guy was interested in me, I'd
want to know about it.
242
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:22,590
Really? Look, all you can do is express
how you feel.
243
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:25,990
And if you and Robin are meant to be
together, it'll happen naturally.
244
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,350
Just be yourself.
245
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,240
Okay.
246
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:35,040
That's a very sensitive, perceptive
point, Mallory.
247
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,040
Thanks.
248
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,280
I read in Cosmopolitan.
249
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Wow, wow.
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00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,200
Robin, James, what a surprise.
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00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:51,820
Hi, Alex. It's good to see you. Yeah,
well, I never miss a poetry reading.
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00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,620
I have season tickets.
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00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,040
Mal, your attention, please.
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00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,000
This evening, the Poetry Club is pleased
to have with us the Horace Newton Award
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00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,020
winner for poetry, Zane Axelrod.
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00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:07,020
Mr. Axelrod is one of the best and most
incomprehensible poets of his
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generation.
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00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:10,820
Where are the chairs?
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00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,880
Just sit on the floor, Alex.
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00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,480
Right.
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00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780
Bohemians.
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holocaust in you a christmas poem
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00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:47,860
intercontinental
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00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:54,840
ballistic missiles assembled in the
silos
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00:16:54,840 --> 00:17:01,380
of our soul multiple warheads the
fragments of our
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00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:03,300
unfulfillment
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00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,310
and a hickory dickory dot.
268
00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:23,690
This is art, Alex. Something you
obviously know nothing about.
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00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:26,849
Oh, hey, hey, hey. Don't, uh, don't.
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00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:33,910
Don't pretend to be Mr. Culture. You're
only here for one reason and you know
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00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:38,930
it. Born pure and tarnished by distrust
or
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00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:43,990
born tarnished searching for a shine.
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Shaboom.
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00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:01,440
I can't believe you'd be so loyal to
just barge in on my date.
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00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:07,420
Ah, a date. A date. So you admit it's a
date. I admit nothing.
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00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,200
Why don't you get lost, Keaton? Oh,
yeah, who's going to make you? I am.
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00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:12,800
No, I am.
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00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:19,080
Hey, this is a private discussion, so
you want to just stick to your stupid
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00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,740
poetry? Oh, yeah?
280
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,920
Well, I'm rubber and you're glue.
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00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:25,210
whatever you say bounces off me and
sticks to you.
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00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:29,970
This guy's good.
283
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:35,450
What is it with you two?
284
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:40,510
A few weeks ago, you seemed so mature,
and now you've turned into a couple of
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00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,510
third graders.
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00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:42,930
He did first. Oh, did not.
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00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,650
Look, Robin, we both obviously like you
a lot, and I think the ball is in your
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00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:49,650
court now.
289
00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:53,260
Look, Robin, you can settle this whole
thing right now by just saying which one
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00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:54,260
of us you like better.
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00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,540
I never had the chance to find out.
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00:18:56,740 --> 00:19:00,120
I hardly know either of you, and all of
a sudden I'm in the middle of some kind
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00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,120
of tug of war.
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00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,980
I don't enjoy being the object of some
adolescent competition.
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00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:10,440
And until the two of you grow up, I
don't want to spend any more time with
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00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,440
either of you.
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00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:21,610
I still haven't got the baby seat in. I
want to swing by the hardware store and
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00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:24,610
get an acetylene torch and a power
wrench. I have to take out the back
299
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:26,870
That's ridiculous.
300
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,630
That we wouldn't have this problem with
the Maserati.
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00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:32,649
Hey, everybody.
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00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:35,310
Hey, Alex, I'm glad you're here. We need
the Volvo to go shopping.
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00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:39,210
Oh, Dad, uh, Sam hasn't figured out the
new car yet, huh?
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00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:41,910
You got it. Okay, let's go.
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00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,290
Oh, Alex, Andrew needs to be changed.
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00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:45,830
All right. No, Mom!
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00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,240
Mom, wait a minute. Don't do this to me,
Mom. I've only had one lesson, Mom.
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00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,320
All right. Okay.
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00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,960
Andy, it's just you and me.
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00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:59,020
Bear with me.
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00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:01,820
Okay.
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00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:06,100
I know this seems like a great deal to
you, but, uh, you know you're gonna have
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00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,340
to give it up sooner or later.
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00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,200
Yeah, hold on.
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00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,800
Just...
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00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,530
Try and stay in that position.
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00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,610
Oh, it's you.
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00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:25,410
What do you want?
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00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,390
I just came by to pick up some of my
books.
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00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:29,930
Well, come in and get them.
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00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:36,850
What are you doing?
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00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:39,990
I'm gardening.
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00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,820
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm
changing Andrew.
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00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,720
Oh. Need any help?
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00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,160
No, I don't need any help. I'm perfectly
capable.
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00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:58,060
Could you, uh, hold this leg and, uh,
grab a diaper?
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00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,620
How could you bust up my date like that?
Oh, hey, you shouldn't have been on
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00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,380
that date in the first place. Give me
the powder.
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00:21:06,940 --> 00:21:09,120
Here's the powder, and you shouldn't
have asked her out either.
330
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:13,810
Hey. I only asked her out because I knew
you were going to ask her out, which
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you did.
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00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:21,490
Pins. And I only asked her out because I
knew you were going to, and you did.
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00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:22,650
Here are the pins.
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00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:26,230
Yeah, well, thanks to you, I made a fool
of myself.
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00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:28,230
I made a fool out of myself, too.
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00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:31,730
Okay.
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00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:33,590
All done here.
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00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,470
Goo.
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00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,200
It doesn't look right. No, let's try
again.
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00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:52,260
You know, Alex, when I left the poetry
reading, I took a walk down Foxwood
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00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,820
past the Little League field.
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00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,180
Remember that team we used to play on?
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00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,480
Wilson's House of Fine Lingerie?
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We had the nicest uniforms in the
league.
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00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,060
Lace cuffs.
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00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:09,400
See -through jerseys.
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00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:15,010
When I was standing there, I thought of
all the stuff we've been through
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00:22:15,010 --> 00:22:20,450
together. All the Cub Scout meetings,
the camping trips, the low -interest
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00:22:20,450 --> 00:22:21,450
you've given me.
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00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:26,090
We're supposed to be friends, Alex. Why
are we always competing?
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00:22:27,090 --> 00:22:29,750
Competition is the backbone of our
relationship, James.
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00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:34,710
I mean, we just push each other to do
better.
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00:22:36,630 --> 00:22:39,890
Whoa, okay, moment of truth. You want to
put your finger right there?
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00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:41,790
Here? Yeah, right.
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00:22:42,170 --> 00:22:43,610
And got it.
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Okay. All right.
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Okay.
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00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:50,150
There you go.
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00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:51,730
All right.
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00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:55,090
There you go.
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00:22:57,090 --> 00:22:58,350
Oh, we're still a great team.
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00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:00,010
Yeah, you know, this could be our new
business.
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00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:02,810
Keaton and Jarrett, tutoring and
diapering.
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00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,830
What do you mean Jarrett and Keaton,
diapering and tutoring?
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00:23:07,410 --> 00:23:09,410
No, that's not what I said. I said...
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00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:12,410
That's what I meant to say.
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00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:14,890
And I meant to say what you said.
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00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,430
It's going to be a great business.
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We'll keep your grades high.
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And your babies dry.
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Sit, Ubu, sit.
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Good dog.
28664
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