All language subtitles for family_ties_s03e20_don_t_know_much_about_history

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:17,560 I bet we've been together for a million years. 2 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,760 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 3 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:28,480 Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did. 4 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:34,020 And I can't remember what I ever did before. 5 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:39,200 What would we do, baby, without us? 6 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,640 What would we do, baby, without her? 7 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:51,100 And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. 8 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,580 What would we do, baby, without her? 9 00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,800 Sha -la -la -la. 10 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,940 Thanks for dinner, Mr. Keaton. Everything was delicious. 11 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,960 Yes, my wife has a way with seaweed. 12 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,420 What's this over here? 13 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:14,680 That's cooked lawn. 14 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 I mow it. 15 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,760 I rake it. And I cook it. 16 00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:20,140 Come on, Elise. 17 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:24,720 We better get going. The car dealer's closing in an hour. What kind of car are 18 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:25,499 you thinking of buying? 19 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:26,500 A sports car. 20 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:32,870 Mallory, the whole reason for buying a new car is to have more room for the 21 00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:35,330 baby. What would be the point of buying a sports car? 22 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:37,170 I'd look great in one. 23 00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:44,770 Come on, Mallory, they'd be crazy to let you drive the new car anyway. 24 00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:49,190 I happen to be a good driver, Alex. I passed my road test on the third try, 25 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,810 I almost passed on the second try. 26 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:57,030 And she could have if the examiner hadn't been thrown from the car. 27 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:05,840 I don't care what kind of car we buy. As long as it doesn't have those fake dye 28 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,360 things from the rear view mirror. 29 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,639 What are you guys going to do tonight? 30 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,840 Well, Alex and I are going to interview some students for our new business. 31 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,200 The Jarrett and Keaton Tutorial Service. 32 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:19,720 That's right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean the Keaton and Jarrett 33 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,000 Tutorial Service. 34 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,080 Keaton and Associates. 35 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,900 Why not just Keaton? 36 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,100 All right. Okay. Have it your way. 37 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,360 Who would come to you? you guys to be tutored anyway. 38 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,720 We could get rich off your friends alone, ma 'am. 39 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:43,220 Well, I think it's nice to see you guys cooperating for a change. 40 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,780 What does that mean, Mom? 41 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,880 Oh, come on. You two are the most competitive guys I know. 42 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,640 Us? Compete? 43 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,360 Why do we ever compete over? 44 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,500 Okay, Elise, you ready to go? 45 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,260 Jan, you gonna look after the baby? 46 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,380 I think Alex will be okay on his own, Mom. 47 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,600 Oh, you mean the other baby? 48 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,800 Yeah, I'll stay. 49 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,420 We'll see you later. 50 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,280 Yeah, hopefully in a Maserati. 51 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,380 Bye -bye. Good night. 52 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:23,680 Okay, let's get this place cleaned up. We are professional tutors now. We gotta 53 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,360 make a good impression on our tutees. 54 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:32,070 We are gonna have a very successful business and... we're going to be 55 00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:33,370 a service for the college community. 56 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:35,550 And we're going to be rich. 57 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,570 Right. And we're going to split everything down the middle. 58 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:41,130 54 -46. 59 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,070 Keaton, I recognize that look in your eye. 60 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:46,710 What look? 61 00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:50,670 That competitive look, like when we were teammates in that bicycle race and you 62 00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,930 kept trying to ride away from me off in your own direction. 63 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,730 Come on, Jared, I saw a shortcut. 64 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,410 We were on a tandem bike. 65 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,240 And so basically what we offer is a bi -weekly tutorial on those subjects 66 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,120 not performing up to your top standards in. 67 00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:11,040 That's great, but what I really need help in is my schoolwork. 68 00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,839 Well, that's what tutorial means, William. 69 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:19,680 Oh. 70 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,420 Okay, well, I'll see you guys Tuesday then, huh? 71 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,320 Hey, by the way, where do I go? 72 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,540 Uh, well, the tutorial will take place here, William. 73 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,220 I mean, where do I go now? 74 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,940 Go home. 75 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,880 Go home. 76 00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:39,680 See you Tuesday, William. 77 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:41,380 Woo, okay. 78 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,760 Hey, we did it. We bought the wagon master. We pick it up next week. Whoa, 79 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:47,840 congratulations. 80 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,520 Yeah, it's economical. 81 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,140 It's well built. It's roomy. Ugly. It looks like a refrigerator on wheels. 82 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:02,220 I wanted to get the Panther 4000 Turbo XK at 0 to 100 in two seconds. 83 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,640 Mallory, I don't like buying a car that requires a parachute to slow down. 84 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,880 I heard the Wagon Master's a real nice car, Mr. Keaton. 85 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:18,520 Oh, it is a beauty, James. The salesman says it seats eight comfortably and ten 86 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,520 uncomfortably. 87 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,200 I'm going to go check on Andy. It's time for his bath. Oh, I'll come with you, 88 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,620 Lisa. I want to show him these dice. 89 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,510 Okay, so who's next? 90 00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,730 Uh, just one more. Uh, Robin Green. 91 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,330 I don't know, I spoke to her on the phone. She sounded pretty dull. 92 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:40,150 Hey, if we can tutor William, we can tutor anyone. 93 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,550 Hi, 94 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,890 I'm, uh, I'm Alex Keaton. 95 00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:57,289 Robin Green. 96 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,290 Nice to meet you. 97 00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,890 Nice to meet you. 98 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:05,230 This is my partner, James Jarrett. 99 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:06,550 Hi. 100 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:09,890 Come in, come in, come in. 101 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,110 Thank you. Would you like something to drink? 102 00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:13,510 No, thanks. 103 00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:14,890 Can I take your coat? 104 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:16,570 All right. 105 00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:19,390 Please sit down. Have a seat. Have a seat. 106 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,110 This is a beautiful coat. 107 00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:27,810 Thank you. 108 00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:37,190 Am I in the right house for the tutoring? 109 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:44,190 Well, uh, William, that just about wraps up today's session. 110 00:06:44,510 --> 00:06:45,610 How am I doing so far? 111 00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:47,130 Not bad. 112 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,930 You'll do even better next time if you bring your book. 113 00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:53,150 Bring book, bring book. 114 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:04,870 Okay. Okay, now remember that this Thursday is the 31st. 115 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:12,730 30 days past Thursday, April... It's a good thing we don't offer 116 00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:13,730 a money -back guarantee. 117 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,470 Okay, who's next on the schedule tonight? 118 00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:20,890 Uh, gee, uh, who's next? 119 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:27,350 Uh, Eddie Fenton canceled, so it's just, uh, Robin. 120 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:28,630 Robin? 121 00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:30,480 Yeah. Robin. 122 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:31,980 Right. 123 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:33,420 Robin. 124 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,620 Alex, let's be honest with each other. 125 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,220 I think it's safe to say that Robin is a girl that one might consider to be 126 00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,300 attractive. 127 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:44,940 Really? 128 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:49,820 Yeah, okay, now that you mention it, I can't see how one might find her 129 00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:54,300 attractive, sensuous, incredibly erotic. 130 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,180 Well, personally, I hadn't noticed. 131 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,680 I hadn't either. 132 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,660 But, you know, if two guys are trying to run a business and they were to compete 133 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,780 over something like, say, a girl. 134 00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:13,840 It could destroy the whole foundation 135 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840 of their partnership. 136 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,800 Yeah, of course it could. So what? So they shouldn't compete. 137 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:19,500 Right. So let's not. 138 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,720 Right. Let's remain cool. 139 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,320 Detached. 140 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,470 Professional. Professional. 141 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:28,710 Right. 142 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:39,130 Professional. Right. 143 00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:46,210 Hello. Robin, I had completely forgotten it was your night tonight. 144 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,330 Enter, enter. 145 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,970 Well, I brought my economics and my poetry books. 146 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,730 Who's going to tutor me first? 147 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,010 I am. 148 00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:56,370 Well, it doesn't matter to me. 149 00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:59,650 All I know is that when I study, whatever I do last stays with me best. 150 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,690 Then do poetry first. 151 00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:07,010 Do poetry. Take your time. I'll be back in, what, roughly 40 minutes. 152 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,670 James, that is really funny. 153 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,850 I bet you never thought that Alexander Pushkin was such an amusing poet. 154 00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:20,230 But I always expected it. 155 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,160 Time's up. 156 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,200 Alex, that could not have been 40 minutes. 157 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,640 You guys are on a tight ship here. 158 00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:40,080 Evidently. Though we seem to be a little lacking in professional courtesy. Oh, 159 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:43,980 hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm professional, buddy. I don't giggle when I tutor. 160 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,980 You know, James is really wonderful. 161 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:52,940 He is? 162 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,140 He's one of the brightest and most interesting people I've met since I've 163 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,140 at Leland. 164 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,180 Yeah, well, uh, yeah. 165 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,640 He does make a good first impression. 166 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,480 In a superficial sort of way. 167 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:12,140 Oh, I think you'll find that I'm pretty bright and amusing in my own right. 168 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,480 Only with more depth. 169 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,960 I'm sure I will. 170 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:20,840 Uh, 171 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:22,340 uh, Robin. 172 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,400 Uh, would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? 173 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,250 That's really nice of you to ask, Alec. 174 00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:35,070 But James already invited me to a poetry reading tomorrow night. 175 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,610 I can't believe it. 176 00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:43,090 Great. Great. 177 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:48,350 Excuse me, Alec, can I use the phone in the other room? Sure, go ahead. 178 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:55,530 I got a book. 179 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,419 How could you? 180 00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,840 I just forgot it, that's all. 181 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:05,740 No, no, no. You forgot more than a book. You forgot our agreement. 182 00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:07,720 You asked her out. And so did you. 183 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,060 How did you know? I was listening at the door. 184 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,300 How dare you. 185 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:19,500 That's it, Jared. 186 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,080 That's it. Our partnership is over. 187 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,920 Suits me just fine. 188 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,180 It was an ant. 189 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:49,120 And make certain to unfasten your seatbelt before getting out of the car. 190 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,660 Dad, how much longer do we have to do this? 191 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,600 There's only one more section to go. 192 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,680 Ah, your trunk, and welcome to it. 193 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,670 Now, where are you going? 194 00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:10,390 I thought I'd drive the new car over to Chrissy's house. 195 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:12,910 No, she's kidding. 196 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:20,829 It's Mrs. 197 00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:23,050 Opec. She got the new Panzer Turbo. 198 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,130 I can't believe it. 199 00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:33,670 I specifically set aside this time to play with the baby, and he's asleep. 200 00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:37,090 I mean, Mom, I love that kid, but he's inconsiderate. 201 00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:41,530 Alex, you've been in a bad mood all day. What's your problem? 202 00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:42,870 It's you, Mallory. 203 00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:49,090 No, I'm sorry. It's not you. 204 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:50,770 It's just a reflex. 205 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:53,349 It's James. 206 00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:54,350 What happened? 207 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:58,150 Oh, Dad, you're not going to believe this when you hear it. I mean, are you 208 00:12:58,150 --> 00:13:01,690 ready for this? He invited Robin Green to a poetry reading. 209 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,220 And he always seems so nice. 210 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,380 No, no, Dad, you don't understand. See, she's one of our two T's. 211 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,180 Who's your other T? 212 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:31,360 Anyway... You see, James... James and I are both attracted to this girl, so we 213 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,420 made a gentleman's agreement not to ask her out. 214 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,060 Why? 215 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,980 It's obvious, Elise, without such a contract, they might compete for her and 216 00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,620 destroy their friendship in the process. 217 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,360 That's ridiculous. 218 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,600 They should be stronger than that. 219 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,220 Well, Elise, the male ego is a very fragile thing. 220 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,560 Oh, that's stupid. 221 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:00,630 I'm hurt. 222 00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:08,170 Alex, I'm surprised that James would do such a thing. Yeah, me too, but he did. 223 00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:10,570 Well, now, how did you find out about this? 224 00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:15,690 Well, because she told me when I asked her out for tonight. 225 00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:20,530 Well, if you asked her out, then you are just as guilty as James. 226 00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:25,590 No, no, that's not true, Mom. See, I only asked her out because I suspected 227 00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:28,050 James had asked her out, which he had. 228 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,360 It was entirely a defensive move on my part. 229 00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:37,200 Then had we gone out, it would have been purely a preemptive tactical date. 230 00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:39,860 How romantic. 231 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,860 Hey, hey, no way. I'm tired. I don't want to play now. 232 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,239 Coming, Andy? 233 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,460 Wait, Mom, Dad. 234 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,240 Mallory, Mallory, listen, you've got to help me out with something. 235 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,700 You're sort of a girl. 236 00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:03,650 James and I are both attracted to the same girl. Now, what would you do if you 237 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:07,030 had two good -looking, intelligent guys interested in you? 238 00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:09,030 What's that got to do with you and James? 239 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,010 Come on, Mallory. 240 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,250 All right. 241 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:18,610 Look, if a guy was interested in me, I'd want to know about it. 242 00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:22,590 Really? Look, all you can do is express how you feel. 243 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:25,990 And if you and Robin are meant to be together, it'll happen naturally. 244 00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,350 Just be yourself. 245 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,240 Okay. 246 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:35,040 That's a very sensitive, perceptive point, Mallory. 247 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,040 Thanks. 248 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,280 I read in Cosmopolitan. 249 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,600 Wow, wow. 250 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,200 Robin, James, what a surprise. 251 00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:51,820 Hi, Alex. It's good to see you. Yeah, well, I never miss a poetry reading. 252 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,620 I have season tickets. 253 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,040 Mal, your attention, please. 254 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,000 This evening, the Poetry Club is pleased to have with us the Horace Newton Award 255 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,020 winner for poetry, Zane Axelrod. 256 00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:07,020 Mr. Axelrod is one of the best and most incomprehensible poets of his 257 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,020 generation. 258 00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:10,820 Where are the chairs? 259 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,880 Just sit on the floor, Alex. 260 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,480 Right. 261 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780 Bohemians. 262 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,640 holocaust in you a christmas poem 263 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:47,860 intercontinental 264 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:54,840 ballistic missiles assembled in the silos 265 00:16:54,840 --> 00:17:01,380 of our soul multiple warheads the fragments of our 266 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:03,300 unfulfillment 267 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,310 and a hickory dickory dot. 268 00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:23,690 This is art, Alex. Something you obviously know nothing about. 269 00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:26,849 Oh, hey, hey, hey. Don't, uh, don't. 270 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:33,910 Don't pretend to be Mr. Culture. You're only here for one reason and you know 271 00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:38,930 it. Born pure and tarnished by distrust or 272 00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:43,990 born tarnished searching for a shine. 273 00:17:54,459 --> 00:17:55,459 Shaboom. 274 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:01,440 I can't believe you'd be so loyal to just barge in on my date. 275 00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:07,420 Ah, a date. A date. So you admit it's a date. I admit nothing. 276 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,200 Why don't you get lost, Keaton? Oh, yeah, who's going to make you? I am. 277 00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:12,800 No, I am. 278 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:19,080 Hey, this is a private discussion, so you want to just stick to your stupid 279 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,740 poetry? Oh, yeah? 280 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,920 Well, I'm rubber and you're glue. 281 00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:25,210 whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. 282 00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:29,970 This guy's good. 283 00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:35,450 What is it with you two? 284 00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:40,510 A few weeks ago, you seemed so mature, and now you've turned into a couple of 285 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,510 third graders. 286 00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:42,930 He did first. Oh, did not. 287 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,650 Look, Robin, we both obviously like you a lot, and I think the ball is in your 288 00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:49,650 court now. 289 00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:53,260 Look, Robin, you can settle this whole thing right now by just saying which one 290 00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:54,260 of us you like better. 291 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,540 I never had the chance to find out. 292 00:18:56,740 --> 00:19:00,120 I hardly know either of you, and all of a sudden I'm in the middle of some kind 293 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,120 of tug of war. 294 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,980 I don't enjoy being the object of some adolescent competition. 295 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:10,440 And until the two of you grow up, I don't want to spend any more time with 296 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,440 either of you. 297 00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:21,610 I still haven't got the baby seat in. I want to swing by the hardware store and 298 00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:24,610 get an acetylene torch and a power wrench. I have to take out the back 299 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:26,870 That's ridiculous. 300 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,630 That we wouldn't have this problem with the Maserati. 301 00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:32,649 Hey, everybody. 302 00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:35,310 Hey, Alex, I'm glad you're here. We need the Volvo to go shopping. 303 00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:39,210 Oh, Dad, uh, Sam hasn't figured out the new car yet, huh? 304 00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:41,910 You got it. Okay, let's go. 305 00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,290 Oh, Alex, Andrew needs to be changed. 306 00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:45,830 All right. No, Mom! 307 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,240 Mom, wait a minute. Don't do this to me, Mom. I've only had one lesson, Mom. 308 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,320 All right. Okay. 309 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,960 Andy, it's just you and me. 310 00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:59,020 Bear with me. 311 00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:01,820 Okay. 312 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:06,100 I know this seems like a great deal to you, but, uh, you know you're gonna have 313 00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,340 to give it up sooner or later. 314 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,200 Yeah, hold on. 315 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,800 Just... 316 00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,530 Try and stay in that position. 317 00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,610 Oh, it's you. 318 00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:25,410 What do you want? 319 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,390 I just came by to pick up some of my books. 320 00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:29,930 Well, come in and get them. 321 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:36,850 What are you doing? 322 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:39,990 I'm gardening. 323 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,820 What does it look like I'm doing? I'm changing Andrew. 324 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,720 Oh. Need any help? 325 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,160 No, I don't need any help. I'm perfectly capable. 326 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:58,060 Could you, uh, hold this leg and, uh, grab a diaper? 327 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,620 How could you bust up my date like that? Oh, hey, you shouldn't have been on 328 00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,380 that date in the first place. Give me the powder. 329 00:21:06,940 --> 00:21:09,120 Here's the powder, and you shouldn't have asked her out either. 330 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:13,810 Hey. I only asked her out because I knew you were going to ask her out, which 331 00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:14,810 you did. 332 00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:21,490 Pins. And I only asked her out because I knew you were going to, and you did. 333 00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:22,650 Here are the pins. 334 00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:26,230 Yeah, well, thanks to you, I made a fool of myself. 335 00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:28,230 I made a fool out of myself, too. 336 00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:31,730 Okay. 337 00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:33,590 All done here. 338 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,470 Goo. 339 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,200 It doesn't look right. No, let's try again. 340 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:52,260 You know, Alex, when I left the poetry reading, I took a walk down Foxwood 341 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,820 past the Little League field. 342 00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,180 Remember that team we used to play on? 343 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,480 Wilson's House of Fine Lingerie? 344 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,940 We had the nicest uniforms in the league. 345 00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,060 Lace cuffs. 346 00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:09,400 See -through jerseys. 347 00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:15,010 When I was standing there, I thought of all the stuff we've been through 348 00:22:15,010 --> 00:22:20,450 together. All the Cub Scout meetings, the camping trips, the low -interest 349 00:22:20,450 --> 00:22:21,450 you've given me. 350 00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:26,090 We're supposed to be friends, Alex. Why are we always competing? 351 00:22:27,090 --> 00:22:29,750 Competition is the backbone of our relationship, James. 352 00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:34,710 I mean, we just push each other to do better. 353 00:22:36,630 --> 00:22:39,890 Whoa, okay, moment of truth. You want to put your finger right there? 354 00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:41,790 Here? Yeah, right. 355 00:22:42,170 --> 00:22:43,610 And got it. 356 00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:45,790 Okay. All right. 357 00:22:47,990 --> 00:22:48,990 Okay. 358 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:50,150 There you go. 359 00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:51,730 All right. 360 00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:55,090 There you go. 361 00:22:57,090 --> 00:22:58,350 Oh, we're still a great team. 362 00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:00,010 Yeah, you know, this could be our new business. 363 00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:02,810 Keaton and Jarrett, tutoring and diapering. 364 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,830 What do you mean Jarrett and Keaton, diapering and tutoring? 365 00:23:07,410 --> 00:23:09,410 No, that's not what I said. I said... 366 00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:12,410 That's what I meant to say. 367 00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:14,890 And I meant to say what you said. 368 00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,430 It's going to be a great business. 369 00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:19,190 We'll keep your grades high. 370 00:23:20,490 --> 00:23:21,790 And your babies dry. 371 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,400 Sit, Ubu, sit. 372 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:57,840 Good dog. 28664

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.