All language subtitles for family_ties_s03e02_here_we_go_again

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Okay,

Dad, I'm ready. I got the ground cloth.

Tent and canteen. I've got the tackle
box, the lantern, the stove.

The stove?

I thought we were really going to rough
it. Live off the land, cook on an open

fire. Well, if it were up to me,
Jennifer, we would. But let's face it, I

think your brother or your sister share
our enthusiasm for the great outdoors.

All right, let's get this over with.

We're going to be camping, Alex, not
gathering honey.

Unlimit ourselves, Dad.

Hey, why don't you fit this in your
backpack for me? I don't have any more

in here.

What are you going to do with the hair
dryer, Mallory?

We're going to be out in the middle of
nowhere. Where are you going to plug it

in?

Are we bringing any outlets?

Why don't you kids start getting the car
packed?

Hey, why don't you bring every article
of clothing you own? You know, we can

move out of the tent. You can use it as
a closet.

You'd do that for me?

Oh, I'm glad you're still here. I was
afraid I was going to miss you.

You sure you don't want to come with us?
Oh, honey, I can't. I've got to get

this project finished by Monday.

I'm so tired lately. It wouldn't be much
fun anyway.

I don't know what's wrong. I just
haven't had my normal energy for weeks.

maybe the kids and I should stay home
this weekend. Oh, come on. I'm fine. You

guys have been looking forward to this
for a long time.

Well, I would hate to break Alex's
heart.

He does so love the woods.

You're going to have a good time.
There's nothing to worry about. I saw

Carlson yesterday, and she gave me every
test there is. She said I'm a perfectly

healthy human specimen at the peak of my
womanhood. My sentiments precisely.

I feel like a piece of day -old liver.

Don't go getting me all excited, Ray.

I'll take the kids camping.

Okay, Dad, let's go. I'm not getting any
younger. All right, I'm ready. We'll

grab some breakfast on the road.

You sure you can't come with us, Mom?

I've got too much work to do.

All right, well, it's not going to be
the same without you. Who's going to

the firewood?

I will, as usual.

I just want everyone to see.

that in the spirit of getting back to
nature, I decided to go with the clear

nail polish.

Hello, Mrs. Keaton. I hope I'm not too
late.

Mallory invited me to lunch today.

Oh, well, Mallory's not here. She's gone
camping.

Camping?

I see.

This is the Saturday, isn't it?

Well, Mallory's been planning on going
camping for weeks.

That explains why she invited me.

Well, uh, it's all right.

I don't need lunch.

Of course, I didn't have any breakfast.

You know, breakfast, the most important
meal of the day.

Which, of course, lunch becomes if you
haven't eaten any.

Breakfast.

Which I haven't.

How does peanut butter and jelly sound?

Well, my mother always says I should
have a hot lunch.

I'll eat it for you.

Right. It's really lonely at my house.

My parents went to Dayton for a
symposium on aging.

Making the most of your twilight years.

Well, I can see why you choose not to
join them.

Yeah, I think I got all I could out of
the first two in the series.

Make yourself at home, Skippy.

Thanks.

Yeah, actually, I'm kind of glad you
dropped by.

Getting a little lonely here for me with
everybody gone.

Well, Mrs. Keaton, don't you worry. I'll
make you an excellent companion.

Would you care for a game of jacks? No.

Or perhaps some yo -yo tricks?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Dr. Carlson. How are you?

Wait a minute. I don't believe it. You
said it was virtually impossible.

We did.

I am.

Oh.

Okay.

Bye.

What is it, Mrs. Keaton?

Nothing. What do you ask?

No reason.

Steve.

Steve. I've got to call Steve.

Is he in the tent? He's in the woods.
Didn't take a phone in the tent.

I don't believe this. This is
incredible.

There must be some mistake.

She's a doctor. She knows what she's
talking about.

Mrs.

Keaton, are you sick?

No, I feel fine.

That's great.

What?

I could let me tell you something.

Do you remember that weekend we spent at
that bed and breakfast place and

skipped breakfast?

No.

Stephen, how many people do you think
are in this room?

three most wonderful, thoughtful,
considerate children in the whole world?

Those are the three most selfish,
spoiled, inconsiderate children in the

What happened? How come you're home a
day early?

Elise, this is not my idea of a relaxing
drive up into the mountains.

Oh.

On its mistake, it could have happened
to anybody.

Not anybody who walks erect.

We went camping without a tent.

Now, wait a minute. I saw your dad put
the tent in the trunk himself.

Yeah, Mom, what you didn't see was
Mallory taking the tent out of the trunk

make room for her makeup table.

I didn't think it was anything
important. I thought it was just Alex's

bag.

And where was I supposed to sleep,
Mallory? In a tree?

Where's Jennifer?

Well, I told her to take our gear down
off the luggage rack.

Why'd you tell her to do that?

Well, Dad, I knew she was disappointed
about the camping trip, so I thought

was a good way for her to get some fresh
air.

Look at those rosy cheeks.

I couldn't get the sleeping bag untied.
They were up too high.

The ladder is in the garage, Jennifer.

Alex! Alex, he thinks you're the boss
over me. He thinks he's the boss over

everybody, Jennifer.

Oh, no!

Up to your rooms now.

Dad, I think I'm a little old to be sent
to my room.

You're also too old to be whining in the
car the whole way back.

I wasn't whining.

I remember how these camping trips used
to be.

Just the two of us, up there in the
woods.

The stars, the moon, a little fire
going.

Oh, boy, I miss those days.

I mean, I love the kids, Elise, you know
that, but I'll tell you, part of me is

really looking forward to the day when
the kids are grown and it'll be just the

two of us again.

Are you really?

I am tired.

I'm crazy.

Just to not mention the word kid to me
will be okay.

Okay,

I'll try.

Did you, uh... Did you get the test
results from your physical?

You're not making it easy on me.

Well, what did Dr.

Carlson have to say?

Well, my blood pressure's a little low.
Nothing to worry about.

Uh, triglycerides? Never better.

height for someone my age.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I'm pregnant.

Well, anything else happen while I was
gone?

Your suit came back from the cleaners.

This is a big day.

Who else knows about this?

Only you and Skippy. Oh, of course.

I thought you'd be happy.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

Don't I look happy?

You look shocked.

I am.

I'm shocked and happy.

I'm shappy.

And I'm shocked. And I'm happy.

I'm beshappy.

We always said we'd welcome a new baby.
I know.

I just didn't think we'd get the chance
to.

I mean, after Jennifer was born, the
doctor said that was it.

I mean, the chances... The chances of
your getting pregnant

again were very slim.

But you do welcome this baby, don't you?
I do, I do.

Of course I do. It's just I'm, uh... A
shappy.

It's beginning to dawn on me. A baby.

Incredible. This is fantastic.

Uh, Dad?

Listen, the three of us were talking
about all that car stuff, and, well,

sorry, you know?

Did you hear that, Elise?

You're the three most wonderful children
in the world.

Told you I didn't have to cry, Alex.

Kids, come on over here. We gotta tell
you about something real important.

Come on, kids, sit down.

Is something wrong, Mom?

Oh, no, honey, everything's fine.

It's just that, uh... Well...

Pregnant? You mean like with a baby?

It's a shock. Believe me, no one was
more surprised than I was.

Skippy was.

Let me get this straight.

You and Aunt Mom are going to have a
baby.

That's right.

And you're pregnant.

You picked the right one.

Girls,

Mom's pregnant.

Please leave the room. This is not a
topic for females.

Alec. I can't believe that.

Are you sure, Mom?

Well, that's what the doctor said. you
said. Well, aren't you kids excited?

Well, it's embarrassing.

You're parents. You shouldn't be having
children.

Come on, you guys. Mallory is right.
You're too old.

You're too kind.

I'm just being realistic, Mom. You are
not going to be able to do the things

that younger parents do.

Who is going to toss a football with
this kid?

Old Gramps here?

even be a girl.

Wait a minute.

Nobody said anything about having a
girl.

No, sir, that is where I draw the line.

I am definitely against you having a
girl.

This baby's gonna change all...

I just think they should have asked us
how we felt about it.

You know, we should try and look at this
thing from their point of view.

They're not exactly a couple of spring
chickens, you know.

This is their last grasp at youth.

It's their last chance to feel like a
functioning part of nature's fertility

cycle before they shrivel up, join
bowling leagues.

I just can't help thinking another
brother and sister is going to upset the

delicate balance of give and take.

The balance of space we've established
in this family.

That's quite an advanced thought,
Mallory.

I didn't know you had such an
understanding of group dynamics.

I was talking about closet space.

I don't know what you guys are
complaining about.

I'm the youngest. I should feel the most
threatened.

You know, Jennifer is right.

Look, this thing is going to be hardest
on her.

She's used to being the baby of the
family, getting all the attention.

Now she's going to be ignored.

Virtual nobody.

One of the crowd.

A piece of driftwood.

We're flotsam, washed up in the shores
of life.

I get the point, Alex.

But you girls are just going to have to
be mature about this now. There is going

to be another member of this family, and
you're both going to have to make

sacrifices.

What about you?

I'm the oldest son.

There are certain inalienable rights to
that position.

You can't pull rank on this one, Alex.
When the baby cries at 3 o 'clock in the

morning, it's going to wake everyone up,
even the firstborn son.

Can you imagine Alex changing a diaper?

Or Alex going, gitchy, gitchy, goo?

I can go gitchy, gitchy, goo, Mallory.

I just don't think infants should be
spoken to in that manner.

What would you say to the baby if it
were crying, Alex?

I would walk over to the edge of the
crib, and I would explain to the infant

that crying is merely an instinctive
reaction to

transitory, albeit unpleasant,
environmental stimuli.

Why does that sound so familiar?

To which I would add, parenthetically,
Uh, gitchy, uh, gitchy goo.

I just had a scary thought.

We can have another little Alex on our
hands.

You're making me very nervous, Mallory.

We should be nervous.

Think about all the negatives of the
situation.

Babies cry at night when you're trying
to sleep.

They have bad table manners.

They're bald.

They, uh, never pick up after they're
done.

They have runny noses.

When you stand them up, they fall right
over.

They can't hold their liquor.

Then again, they cuddle up in your arms.

They smell good.

They gurgle and coo. They idolize their
older brother.

Of course, who could blame them?

You know, I can't recall which of you
girls looked up to me more when you were

baby. I should have been worshipped.

Are you okay?

Oh, sure. Fine.

I just couldn't sleep. I was so excited.

How are you two feeling?

Fine.

a little trouble sleeping. I can't stop
thinking.

About what?

I mean, about what specifically?

Lisa, I'm 40 years old. I'm about to
become a father again.

Last time I changed a diaper, Richard
Nixon was president.

Thought I'd seen the last of both of
them.

You know what I keep realizing?

What? We're going to have to start
watching Sesame Street again, Romper

Mr. Rogers?

I like Mr. Rogers.

I have to start going to the zoo.

Pony rides.

Birthday parties.

Sterilizing baby bottles.

Tripping over toys.

Before you know it, the terrible twos
will be upon us. Remember when Alex used

to run around the house all the time
going, mine, mine.

He never really outgrew that, did he?

That's a long time ago.

I know. I've been doing some
calculations.

When the baby's 10, I'll be 50.

When the baby's 20, I'll be 60.

When the baby's 30, I'll be 70.

70's a little old to have a baby, isn't
it?

It won't be a baby when it's 30.

I guess you're right.

When the baby's 40, Jennifer will be 51.

I'm sorry, I'm just not used to the
idea.

Neither am I.

It's a nice idea to get used to, isn't
it?

I wish the kids were more excited.

Oh, they'll come around. Who could not
love a beautiful newborn baby?

Besides, it gives someone else a pick
on.

You know, there's one other thing about
this we haven't mentioned.

It's going to be real expensive.

I find this absolutely the sexiest thing
in the world.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, come on, cut it out.

You know, that's how you got into
trouble in the first place.

Alex, what are you doing up? How am I
supposed to sleep, Mom? I'm about to

become a brother for the third time.

It's not going to happen tonight, Alex.

It's not, is it, Elise?

I can almost guarantee it.

What's in the package?

Oh, uh, it's, uh... Something I picked
up for the little guy.

Yeah, uh, pull a string.

I love Alex.

Isn't that sweet?

Yeah, you know, I think I can get one of
these for myself.

This is gonna be a long nine months.

We thought about having a little brother
or sister.

We decided that it could be a lot of
fun. Yeah, the family needs a little

shaking up anyway.

Thank you, honey. This is beautiful.

Well,

it's getting pretty late.

I think we'd better call it a night,
huh?

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.