All language subtitles for family_ties_s02e06_speed_trap

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby?

Without us And there ain't no nothing We
can't love each other

through What would we do, baby Without
us

Sha la la la Alex,

glad you can make it down to the final
30 seconds of dinner.

Sorry, Mom. I was in the middle of
studying.

You know, if I was to break
concentration at that point, it would

fatal error.

This week, every minute, every second is
precious.

Don't be so melodramatic, Alex. What's
the big deal about studying for midterm?

Why don't you try it sometime and find
out, Mallory?

Alex, Mallory's been making great
strides this year in her schoolwork.

you say you thought you'd get a B in
biology this term?

I did say that.

I did think that.

I was wrong.

Anyway, it's not the same, Dad. See, I'm
a senior.

These are the last grades I'll get
that'll count towards college.

Oh, and on top of that, the state
scholarship exam is on Saturday.

I'm probably gonna merge from this week
a babbling idiot.

Your week had a schedule.

Oh, Stephen, your special's about to
start.

Come on, kids, you'll love it. It's
called The Wolverine, A Vanishing Breed.

know who Wolverine is, don't you, Jen?

Sure. It's half wolf and half nectarine.

Better watch the show.

Uh, Mallory, can I talk to you for a
second?

Why? What do you want?

Just a small thing.

Well, the size surprises me.

Okay, listen. Uh, I'm in trouble.

I've got more work to do this week than
even I can manage.

So I need your help.

Do you want me to write one of your term
papers for you?

This is no time for jokes, Mel.

Look, the help I need from you involves
your friend Effie.

Effie? What do you want from Effie?

Well, did she still take those diet
pills?

You know what I mean.

Amphetamines? Speed?

Yes,

she does. Why?

Well, they speed up your metabolism, you
know? They give you extra energy.

I may need that this week.

Alex, Effie has a prescription for those
pills. It's illegal for anyone else to

take them.

Oh, come on, Mallory.

You took one yourself a couple of months
ago when you were on that diet.

Right, and it was you that talked me out
of taking anymore.

You said they were dangerous and that
drugs weren't the solution to anything.

Oh, sure, throw that up in my face.

Look. Mallory, you know me well enough
to know I am not going to abuse the

pills.

I probably won't even use them.

They will sit on my shelf, and I won't
touch them.

Okay, I'll talk to Effie tomorrow.

No, not tomorrow, tonight.

Uh, please?

Well, the sooner I have them, the sooner
I, uh, don't have to take them.

Okay, U .S. Government, honors class,
Mr.

Wilkinson, title page.

Herbert Hoover?

The Lot Savior.

By Alex P. Keaton.

Hi. So... Did you, uh... I mean, were
you able to, uh...

Effie?

Yes, Alex, I got the speed.

Will you keep your voice down?

We are dealing with illegal contraband
here, Mallory.

What took you so long?

Effie didn't want to give up the pills.
She said she needs them for her diet.

How'd you talk her into it?

She likes you, Alex, so, uh, I told her
you'd go out with her.

You what?

I don't want to go out with Effie.

She weighs 300 pounds.

Well, it's a lucky thing for you she
does or she wouldn't have those pills.

All right, all right.

I'll go out with her.

Here they are.

Just be careful, okay?

Mallory. Mallory, don't worry your
pretty little head over this anymore.

I can safely say that there's virtually
no possibility of me taking even a

single pill.

Believe me. I know what I'm doing.

What am I doing?

Run. These are drug, and I have them
illegally.

Effie Blatts.

Take one every morning to control
appetite.

I'm not Effie Blatts.

There's no way around it.

No, if this ever went to trial, I
wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

I could wind up on a road gang for this.

With Effie Blatt.

Of course, she would do all the heavy
work.

On the other hand, what choice have I
got?

Help me out here.

I mean, what would you do?

Pressure mounting from all sides, your
entire future, your career hangs in the

balance.

Would you do something you knew was
wrong?

Hey, Alex, you want to take a break and
join us?

I'm really busy, Mom.

We're playing Monopoly.

Are you kidding me? I'd love a game.

I thought you had a lot of work to do.

Well, Dad, I was thinking. You know,
term papers and exams come and go, but

family unit is the one true constant in
life.

The precious hours spent in the familiar
abode with loved ones playing a

heartwarming game such as this are what
make memories that one can treasure for

all eternity.

When did all that occur to you?

As I was coming down the stairs.

Are these dice in proper working order?

Yes, all the dots seem to be in place.

Okay, okay, fine, Mallory. You're first.

Ten. Oh, I'm on the jail square.

Relax, relax.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten. You're just visiting.

Okay, my turn.

All right.

Here we go.

Oh, oh, nobody took the symbol. That's
great. Here we go.

Okay, let's have five stars for Daddy.

puts me on Oriental Avenue.

That costs $100.

I'll buy that.

Okay, my turn.

Four. Income tax you have to pay.

Oh, that's not fair.

Could I take a do -over? Oh, sure, go
ahead.

Whoa, whoa, hold up. No do -overs.

Page four of the rule book says, and I
quote... Alex, we're gonna let Jennifer

take a do -over.

Here's a dime, honey.

I... Won't stand for this.

This is a travesty. This is a sin
against capitalism.

I'll be in the kitchen. You call me when
it's my turn, okay?

Alex.

Alex, you took one of those pills,
didn't you?

Nope. Decided not to.

So, Alex, I can tell. You're completely
out of control.

Mallory, Mallory, don't be silly. I'm
fine.

Okay, Mom?

Yeah? I was going to give the kitchen
floors a quick buffing.

Where do you keep the wax?

Never mind. I'll use my hand.

Uh, no, he isn't home yet, Mrs. Obeck,
but I'll pass along your thanks.

I'm glad Alex did a good job cleaning
out your garage.

Uh, no, I don't know why he did it
either.

I'm sorry he had to break a window to
get in.

Bye -bye.

What has gotten into Alex this week?

I don't know, but our floors have never
looked better.

He's just trying to be helpful.

He oiled my roller skates yesterday.

So? So, I was skating at the time.

He has been in sort of a frenzy of
activity lately. I mean, even for Alex.

I don't notice any difference.

No difference?

Mallory, do you realize how much work it
takes to install a skylight?

Great news.

Great news.

I got my term paper on Hoover back from
Mr. Wilkinson.

A -plus.

Nice work, Alex. Look at this. Look what
he wrote on the front.

An incredibly well -argued thesis.

I voted for Roosevelt four times. Thank
you for showing me the error of my ways.

I also got a 92 on my economics final
and an A on my English term paper.

Does anybody have any laundry they want
me to do?

Alex, are you feeling all right?

Never better.

You just seemed a little hyperactive.

Oh, what you're seeing here is simply my
natural boyish exuberance, that's all.

It was bound to emerge eventually.

I didn't worry about you, that's all.

Ah, Mommy.

Nothing to worry.

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna have a shower.
When I come back down, I'll make myself

some dinner, okay?

Did you get more pills from Effie?

Yes, Alex, I did.

Good. Well, where are they?

I'm not giving them to you, Alex.

You've been taking them all week and
you've been acting very weird.

Weird?

Weird? Do you mind giving me an example
of this alleged weirdness in my recent

behavior? All right, why the sudden
interest in Jennifer's dollhouse?

Not a sudden interest at all.

I've been concerned for a while that her
dolls were a little cramped, so I built

an annex.

A little more breathing room for Molly
and whatever the hell the other one's

name is.

I'm not giving you any more pills, Alex.

Mallory, I've got the biggest test of my
life coming up.

I just want you to give me a couple more
pills to get me by, that's all. And

then that's the end. Over.

Finito. No, you should be able to study
without them.

Oh, I don't believe this.

A lecture in study habits from the C
-minus poster girl.

Come on, Mallory. I'm not asking you for
a dozen.

Just one.

Maybe two.

How many you got? No, Alex.

Alex, that's mine. Give it back.

In a second, Mallory. In a second.

Never speak to me again.

Oh, lighten up, will you?

Oh, and, uh, Mallory, you know, if
you're thinking of telling Mom and Dad

this, you just keep in mind, you're not
exactly innocent here, either.

Isn't your full life on yet? Just
starting.

What'd I miss?

Uh, the sperm cell just joined up with
the egg cell.

What's that?

That's the inside of a woman's uterus,
honey.

Anyone famous?

I don't know. Have to wait all the
credits.

Hey, Alex. Good day at school?

Yeah. You do well on your tests?

Fine. I did fine.

How are your papers? What is this? The
Inquisition?

Oh, Alex. Who do you think you're
talking to?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. The test went fine. I got an
A - on my term paper.

I'm just tired. That's all.

Have you seen Mallory? No.

Alex, you're interrupting fertilization.

What is this trash you're watching?

This isn't trash. Jennifer and I have
been planning on watching this for

It's the miracle of life. They show how
babies are made.

The stork brings babies, Jennifer.

You're not supposed to know otherwise
until you're 12 years old. Alex, what

you doing?

I will not allow this smut in my house.

This is not your house. This is our
house. That is not smut, and I don't

the way you're acting.

Oh, well, maybe I don't like the way
you're acting.

Okay, Alex, I don't know exactly what's
going on here, but I don't like it. You

go on up to your room, and don't you
come down to me a little more civil.

What?

Are you seriously telling me to go to my
room?

Yes, I am. No, in fact, I got a better
idea. First, you clean up the kitchen,

then straighten up the living room, and
then go to your room. Any questions?

Yeah. Yeah, I have a question. I most
certainly do.

Which room did you want me to clean
first?

Your choice.

But, Mom, what about the show?

We'll watch upstairs.

Good idea.

There's less chance of us being
interrupted by Alex Smith's housework.

Mallory, Mallory, stop.

I'm not speaking to you, Alec. Ma 'am,
Mallory, please.

Um, I took the last one this morning,
and, uh, I'm starting to feel real

I just need a couple more to get me
through the test tomorrow.

Call Effie for me, please.

Not a chance.

Mallory, what do you want from me? You
want an apology? Okay, all right, I'm

sorry.

How about money?

Effie. Yeah, it's Alex.

So, where you been hiding yourself?

Okay, the correct answer is, I believe,
the Treaty of Westphalia. And if I'm not

mistaken, the year was 1648.

Ah, right again. This is child's play.

Let's face it. I am flawlessly prepared
for this exam.

After tomorrow, I can just pick my
school.

Harvard. Yeah.

I think I'll go to Harvard.

Of course, I shouldn't be too hasty
here. The other Ivy League schools are

to want a shot at me.

Pretty soon, they'll all be knocking at
my door.

Aha! Here's one now.

Come on in.

I heard some noise in here, Alex. I
thought I...

What are you doing?

Painting my wall.

You want me to do your room next?

Alex, it's 3 .30 in the morning.

I'll put a drop cloth over you and Mom.
You won't even know I'm there.

Put down the paintbrush.

It'll dry unevenly, Dad.

Now, Alex.

You know, Dad, I am so flawlessly
prepared for this exam, I'm not going to

a single question. I don't believe it!

Did you dig those trenches in the
backyard?

Yeah, I did.

Why?

Underground sprinkler system.

Alex, how many hours have you slept this
week?

I don't know.

Four.

Four hours all week?

So I've been peppy, so what?

You haven't been peppy, Alex. You've
been crazed.

Peppy, crazed. Tomato, tomato.

Have you been taking amphetamines?

No. No.

Me? No way, Dad, not me.

Alex, don't lie to me.

All right, okay, I admit it.

I borrowed a few from Mallory's friend
Effie.

Okay? No, it is not okay.

Look, Dad, I just needed them to get me
through this week.

Look, look, I'll prove it to you, okay?

See? These are all of them, in the
garbage.

Gone.

I've taken my last one. That is not the
point, Alex. You shouldn't have been

taking them in the first place, no
matter how much you had to do.

Dad, they weren't. They helped me.

I've gotten more done this week than I
ever thought possible.

You've got to admit it, Dad. The stuff
works. I know what it does. I used it

myself when I was in school.

Oh.

Okay, then how can you get mad at me?

This isn't a question of my being mad at
you, Alex.

It's much more complicated than that.

Look.

I'm your father, and right now, I see
you taking a risk with something you

nothing about.

A dangerous, addictive drug you're
dealing with.

And nothing else matters to me except
stopping you from taking it.

You don't have to worry. I'm done with
it.

We're not done talking, Alex.

We'll talk more in the morning.

We could, uh...

Both use some sleep.

I know I could before I fill in those
trenches tomorrow.

And, uh, I know you need to study.

You know, I... I pulled a few all
-nighters myself when I was in school.

I, uh... I remember my roommate, Roland
Kunikowski.

We used to call him the Owl, but it
wasn't because he stayed up late.

He could turn his head all the way.

He's still asleep, Elise.

Alec! Alec! Alec, wake up! You're late
for your dance! No! No, Effie! Effie,

You're back!

What?

Twenty after eight.

The test.

It's already started, Alex. We thought
you'd gone an hour ago.

I overslept.

I can't believe it. I gotta get going.

Did I fall down?

I think... Look, I think you can forget
the test.

I gotta get going.

The door.

Where's the door?

Where am I?

There's got to be somewhere.

Alex,

Alex, stop it. Stop it. It's over.

It's over.

I never oversleep.

Never, never.

I have one of those internal clock
radios.

I had that scholarship in the bag.

I blew it.

Speed is like that, Alex. It'll keep you
up for a while, but when you crash, you

crash hard.

I thought I could handle it.

Look at how you're handling it. You're
on your knees rummaging through the

garbage looking for someone else's diet
pills.

I guess I've had finer moments.

You know how you feel right now?

Yeah.

Don't ever forget it.

Believe me, I won't.

Alex, why are you still... Not Valerie.

I overslept.

I missed the test.

It was the pills. I couldn't wake up.

Mom and Dad know about the pills.

I told them everything.

You know I gave the pills to Alex?

I didn't tell him that.

She didn't want him, Mom.

I pressured her into getting him from
Effie.

She even tried to talk me out of it.

Mallory, I had no right to use you like
that.

I'm sorry.

Something going on here I should know
about?

Yeah, yeah. I was just apologizing to
Mallory for treating her badly, and,

You too, Jennifer, for being such a
creep all week.

Am I on candid camera?

Why don't we all clear out of here and
let Alex get some sleep. We'll talk more

about this later when you wake up.

From the looks of you, that should be
about Thursday.

Look awful, Alex.

How could I do this, Mallory?

I was out of control.

It was like it wasn't even me.

It was somebody else.

Very scary, Mallory.

Scary for me, too.

I didn't know who you were. It was like
you were a different person.

Well, uh... The old Alex is back.

I never thought I'd say this, but...

I'm glad to see you.

Oh, by the way, Effie called. She said
when you pick her up tonight, dress

casual.

And she's hungry.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.