All language subtitles for falcon_crest_s05e11_strange_bedfellows

He had his little fling, but I got
Falcon Crest back, so please do not

his name in this house.

I'm afraid we're going to have to put
your place under quarantine.

We're out of business.

I'm pregnant.

What's wrong?

Cass, you can't be pregnant.

Not with my child, anyway, you can't.
And if you won't come out, I'll just

to come in. No, no, Melissa, now come
on, we'll talk about this some other

You said there might not be another
time.

This is Lance Cumpson.

Yeah, are you listening to me?

Okay, the boat is just barely an hour
out, which means it's only a little bit

offshore. I want a cigarette boat
waiting for me at the marina.

Yes, I'll hold.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this
because nobody treats my grandmother

way. What's happening?

We have the Stavros shipping office on
the line. Lance is trying to find out

whether or not... Hang up!

But what if something's happened to him?

I said, hang up!

Mother, he used you.

Oh, he had his little fling.

But I got Falconcrest back, so please do
not mention his name in this house.

The prettiest eyes of any attorney I've
ever faced.

Objection, Your Honor.

Counsel is obviously under the
misconception that flattery will get him

everywhere. Mr. Reardon is asked to
stick to the facts, please.

Give me a minute.

Hello, Father.

Greg Reardon.

It's a delight to finally meet the
legend.

Dead people are legends.

Just call me JJ.

Greg Reardon.

Yes, of course.

You're developing quite a fine
reputation for yourself.

This is Virginia, my legal assistant.

My daughter, Jordan.

We don't want to interrupt a business
dinner.

It's not business.

Your mother and I discussed you over
breakfast.

She wonders why you don't keep in touch.

Oh, but I do.

Through the society page.

I figure you and mother average at least
two and a half mentions a week.

It's old news.

Dinner on Sunday?

Sorry, I have other plans.

Some other time, then.

Take care of my little girl, Mr.
Reardon.

Must be difficult growing up with famous
parents.

More than you know.

Is it business as usual that's making
you so sour, or do I detect storm clouds

brewing over falcon grass?

Emma's love life and Lance's shenanigans
with that radio station and Chase

stealing my distributor.

Have you heard from Peter?

I have been in a better mood.

Well, poor timing or not, there's
something else you should know.

Have you noticed the date?

And I don't like that either.

This dry spell has gone on too long and
it's late in the season. I am not

referring to grapes, Angela. I am
referring to a promise you made.

We agree that if I came to work for you
for one year, you would, at the end of

the said term, assist me in launching a
political career.

That was 379 days ago.

I'll think about it.

The word is that Julian J. Roberts, a .k
.a. J .J. Roberts, is launching what

promises to be the strongest independent
political party in California history.

He is going to be the new governor,
Angela.

and his endorsement would be almost as
valuable as yours.

If he has a chance at the election,
which I doubt that he has, what makes

think he would endorse you?

Oh, the same legal backgrounds and
similar philosophies. Oh, and I'm also

Jordan Roberts socially. Now, as you
well know, of course, Jordan is J .J.'s

only child.

So, of course, if you don't want to help
me... I said that I would think about

it.

Did you really write that? Well, I don't
really remember, but that's what I'm

told.

Maggie, I had no idea you even knew
these words.

I don't think there's a chance that our
friends or relatives might fail to

recognize themselves in the characters.

Not even a slim one.

So what you're saying is that if Sudden
Friendship gets published, it could be a

problem. A problem?

Maggie, this is downright libelous.

Now, I have a question for you.

What exactly was Chase's reaction to
this mysterious lover? So far, I've been

able to keep him from reading it.

What's going on? Hi.

Oh, just no talk.

I'll be at my office if you need me.
Okay, Annie.

Good luck, sis.

Yeah, thanks for the encouragement.

I can't wait to see the movie.

Bye.

Yes. Walker McDowell is here, Mr.
Cumberland. Get rid of him. Lance.

Okay, send him in. Look, we don't need
this guy.

Okay, but if he can't help, what's the
harm? He's connected, Lance.

He's a con artist.

I know. I've been one myself.

Morning, gang.

Hi.

To what do we owe this honor?

Well, I, uh...

Just came by to congratulate you on your
success. You know, KBRR 103 .1 starting

to make some noise.

Yeah, thanks. It's working.

So is my little apple. You know, time to
put your face and a few other things in

front of the public eye.

I just talked to my contact at the music
channel.

They want you.

Way ahead of you, Walker.

We've already been talking about a rock
video.

Oh, well.

Talking and doing are two different
things, but have no fear. You know, I'm

here to help. I can't believe my luck.

So where do we start?

With the tune, honey.

Always start with the tune, then the
concept and the shoot is a piece of

You know, depending on my schedule, I've
got a few projects I might have

mentioned.

I might be able to direct.

Really? Really. Look, if you guys want
to gab, take it somewhere else.

I'll call you later, okay? Okay.

Thank you very much.

Come in.

Mrs. Channing, Miss Jones is here to see
you.

I don't know Miss Jones.

She says you work for Kellogg
Investigations.

Oh, well, send her in.

Mrs. Channing?

Would you sit down?

Would you close the door, Charlie,
please?

Mr. Kellogg didn't tell me he was
sending an assistant.

Well, Mr. Kellogg briefed me in detail
on your conversation.

We both agreed I was better qualified
for the job you have in mind.

Well, there's no offense intended, but I
prefer doing business... With the boss.

If you find me unsuitable to the task at
hand, I'm certain Mr. Kellogg will

decline your contract.

And Mr.

Kellogg briefed you on my situation?

Your wish is to discredit Mr. Chase
Gioberti in a fashion which will make it

physically impossible for him to deliver
his wines as promised.

Any idea as to how we can accomplish
this?

Several.

But first I have to find a cooperative
member of the Tuscany Valley Bureau of

Agriculture.

Someone with a little corruption in his
past.

Suppose you don't find that person.

Then I'll create him.

If my candidate isn't already corrupt,
I'll corrupt him myself.

You know, I think I'm going to enjoy
doing business with you.

Since my prenuptial agreement, you're
treating with so little respect.

Oh, I think I'm treating it with a great
deal more respect than you're treating

the institution of marriage.

Richard, isn't there some way I can
dissuade you from going through the sham

marrying Cassandra Wilder? Unless you
know a better way for me to get even

her and make a tidy profit to boot.

You're going to an awful lot of trouble
just for revenge.

Are you sure you don't still love her
just a tiny bit?

I've told you before, Jordan.

I, uh... Love, Cass, not even a bit.

And I've told you before, Richard,
methinks thou dost protest too much.

Remind me never to fall in love with
you.

I didn't think you were capable of
falling in love with anyone.

Yes?

Excuse me, Mr. Channing, are you in for
Maggie Giberti?

Always.

Always.

Maggie!

How are you?

Just... Oh, beautiful.

Do you remember my attorney? Yes, I do.
Mr. Roberts.

Oh, thank you, but I've already read it.

You've read it, I've read it, the
publisher's read it, and I would like it

stop there.

Oh, now, Maggie, you can't mean that.
It's wonderfully written.

Full of wit, full of passion. Oh, come
on, admit it, Richard.

You took advantage of me while I had
amnesia. I thought I was doing you a

Well, do me another favor. You submitted
it to the publisher unsubmitted. I'm

afraid he can't do that.

You see, Mr. Channing was at most acting
as your unofficial agent. Any attempt

on his part to try to interfere at this
point could be construed as tampering.

Right. And when my attorney speaks, I
listen.

However, Mrs. Gioberti, I do think you
should know that the New Globe has a

contract with your publisher to
serialize the novel prior to

Richard, how could you do this to me?

Maggie, nobody's doing anything to
anyone.

Sudden friendship is a hot property.
It's good business, plain and simple.

Now...

I just think you're making too much of
this.

One of these days, you're going to thank
me. I sincerely doubt that.

Back so soon?

Emma tells me you took a load of celery
down to Los Angeles.

Yep. Made a quick turnaround.

I don't like being away from Emma any
longer than I have to.

Is that all life means to you, is a load
of celery and a quick turnaround?

Honest day's work and a warm woman to
come home to. A man could do worse.

Smart man can do better.

Now take you, for instance. You seem
quite bright.

And I'll bet you with the right
opportunity, you'd be a heck of a

Probably could.

If I didn't love the road so much.

I need a stripper.

I beg your pardon.

Top drawer.

Red handles, would you mind?

Listen. Yep.

Thank you. Did you ever think of
starting the trucking business by

Oh, you're talking big bucks there, Mr.
Channing.

Tractors run $80 ,000 to $100 ,000 a
piece.

Full -time drivers.

Insurance. Well, I could help you.

That's real kind of you, Mr. Channing.
But I've never taken a handout in my

life.

Don't think of it as a handout.

Just think of it as a payment.

A payment?

For what?

To have you leave the valley and never
return.

You're bribing me to run out on your own
daughter.

That's about the lowest thing I've ever
heard.

Well, look at it from my point of view.
No, ma 'am.

I love your daughter.

And we are getting married. And no
amount of money is going to change that.

Excuse me.

Any messages?

Are you kidding, buddy? The only calls
that come to this dump are wrong

It's broke.

$20 a night?

In advance, no hot plate, no pets, no
loud music, and no refunds. Uh, I

don't want a room.

I just want some information about the
guy that walked in here.

What guy?

Maybe this will help refresh your memory
a little bit.

The name is McDowell Walker McDowell.

not pleased, Mrs. Channing, but he will
cooperate.

He realizes he hasn't much choice.

Mr. McLeish?

Mrs. Channing?

Mr. McLeish, you are the inspector for
the Tuscany Valley Agricultural Bureau,

is that right?

Yes, ma 'am.

So, your responsibility is to protect
the growers in this area, correct?

I know my job.

Well, I want you to put Chase Gioberti's
lands under quarantine.

On what grounds?

Infestation of Mealy Moth.

Can't be done. I just inspected his land
last month. It was totally clean.

Then inspect it again.

Say... Tuesday.

Tuesday. I'm sure you won't be
disappointed.

Take me, take me.

You know, in all of our negotiations, We
never really discussed how we were

going to execute our contract.

I mean, do you prefer the large, gaudy
variety of wedding that this valley

to favor or something elegant and simple
like Tahoe?

You'll have to ask me later when there
are fewer distractions.

Well, if we wait too long to make up our
minds, Richard, I'm not going to fit

into my wedding dress.

Don't tell me you are one of those
people who just, when things are going

for them, they start stuffing their
mouths full with food.

No, no, no.

It's nothing that scary.

No, I have something different in mind,
an early wedding

present from me to you. Richard, this is
important.

What did you say?

I'm going to give you your very own
child.

Something you've never had.

Something that we can share.

What's wrong?

Nothing, nothing.

Just a few things you don't know about
me.

Cass, you can't be pregnant.

Not with my child anyway, you can't.

Well, I'm sorry, Richard. I haven't been
with any other man. Oh, no.

Games. You lied to me, you know. You set
me up, steal me blind, bankrupt me. Now

what do you want to do, humiliate me
too?

Humiliate you?

Richard, I'm carrying your child.

Will you stop saying that because it's
not true?

of vasectomy, my dear, years ago.

What are you trying to do, Kath?

Huh?

And who cares? The only reason I was
marrying you was to have the simple joy

getting even with you. You know, to
squeeze every penny out of you I could

my hands on and have the last laugh in
this lousy relationship.

And this, I mean, this is the biggest
laugh of all.

I wouldn't marry you now for all the
money in the world and give some other

man's bastard my name.

You know, in the beginning I felt
horrible about what I had done to you.

I was desperate to make it up to you.

I must have confused guilt with love.

Sometimes those two emotions can be very
much alike, I suppose.

We both know that they're not the same
thing.

Don't we?

Did you really believe that I could
forgive you

for what you did to me?

I guess not.

There's something else I didn't know
about you, Richard.

You are more evil than I ever could have
imagined.

Goodbye, Cass.

Don't worry, Richard. I'm going.

You won't have to suffer with my
presence any longer. I promise you that.

And I promise you something else.

This child will never know who or what
its father is.

Cass?

I checked your record. I like what I
saw.

Second in your class.

Law review.

Member of the Massachusetts and
California Bar Association.

Good trial work.

Couldn't find one skeleton in your
closet.

I don't have any.

Oh, everybody has skeletons.

You'll just have any better hidden than
most.

What do you say we combine resources?

You and I are just what the state needs.

Governor Roberts and Lieutenant Governor
Reardon.

With the security of Angela Channing's
money behind us.

Well said, Mr. Reardon.

Well, let me check with my advisors.
I'll get in touch.

This is Channing.

How does my daughter feel about your
political plans?

I've not mentioned them to her yet.

And until you've spoken with your
advisers, they're a little too unformed

discuss.

You're wise to wait.

Jordan's sharp, Greg, but he's also
bullheaded.

I'll tell you this, though. If you can
handle Jordan, you can handle anything

our campaign might toss at you.

If we have a campaign.

I think we will, Greg.

I think we will.

It's not the Ritz.

It's not even a no -tell motel.

Well, what does this prove?

I mean, Walker wouldn't be in a place
like this. Look, he's in room 301.

Do you want me to go up with you?

Well, if what you say is 301, I have the
satisfaction of seeing him alone.

Broke. Broke.

That ain't so hot either.

Hope I'm not interrupting one of your
conferences with Neil Diamond.

Apple, what a surprise.

You tracked me down. I can't believe how
my travel agent screwed up. All I could

get was this flea bag. There's a lot of
conventions in town or something.

I don't believe you.

You don't believe me? I was on the phone
all day trying to straighten things

out. You're lying, Walker. This whole
thing is a lie.

Who you know, what you do, everything.

Hey, settle down, Apple babe. Settle
down.

Look, don't you Apple babe me. Don't you
do anything to me. Just get out of my

life forever this time.

I got a good thing going here, and I
don't need you to mess things up for me.

Me mess things up?

Come on, I taught you everything you
know about this crummy business, huh?

owe me, sweetie.

I'm not going anywhere till I collect.

How does it feel to want?

Not so fast.

Let go.

I said not so fast.

Now, I'll get out of your life, but not
till you and your rich boyfriend make it

worth my while.

Let go, Walker!

Don't you... Hey!

Sleazebag!

Stay put, baby. You okay?

Take a look down, Walker.

Because whether you like it or not, it's
your last look at San Francisco. Look

over there. See it? See the bridge?

I told her what you tried to do, Mrs.
Channing. I felt them I had a right to

know.

I know your business scruples leave
something to be desired, Mother. But

own daughter.

Have you no shame?

Of course not. I'd do the same thing all
over again if I had to.

It's a mother's duty to protect her
daughter's welfare.

I'm just happy that Dwayne came through
my little test.

Test? Yes, I gave him the opportunity to
prove his character, and he came

through with flying colors.

He is totally honorable.

Now, wait a minute.

Let me get this straight. Are you trying
to say that you're going to let us get

married, you're not going to try to stop
us?

Of course.

I'm for it 1 ,000%. This is amazing.

Oh, Mother, this is wonderful.

Thank you. I can't believe it.

After Dwayne sells his truck and stops
meandering all over the country and

provides you with a stable home,
darling.

Why don't you get dressed while I finish
filling out these forms for your

insurance company?

Doc. Oh, was there something else? Yeah.

There is one other thing. I want you to
run one more test for me.

And what kind of test could that be?
Potency test.

Why would I want to do that?

I performed your vasectomy myself.

Humor me, okay?

Okay, thank you.

Now I can't think of another time in my
whole life a gentleman has appeared on

my doorstep with a bag full of
groceries.

And then proceeded to turn it into a
culinary feast complete with a fine wine

and a marvelous dessert.

All I need now is to learn how to sew
and I'll make someone a perfect wife.

And where did this talent come from?

Law school.

I found out very early on that eating
every meal in restaurants was more than

students' budget would allow.

I then found out that cooking was a
relaxation.

And I'm now finding out that cooking is
winning me over. A place into your

heart.

And a place on my waistline, if I'm not
careful here.

What about you?

I imagine that you learned the fine art
of cooking from your mother in some

enormous kitchen.

Not quite. We always had cooks.

Yes, I know. I should have imagined
that.

What are you doing?

I can't leave this mess to you. I'm even
better at KP than I am as a chef. Oh,

no, no, no, no. Put those down. Put it
down.

Sorry. Don't be.

It's not you, it's me.

Is it something you'd like to talk
about?

I don't know what's going on in your
head.

But I do know I should go home now,
rather than spoil things forever.

How you doing, Phil?

My foreman called, told me you were
here.

Just a routine inspection, Jake.

Thought we had our routine inspection
last month.

Well, you know how it goes when you work
for the government. Sometimes you've

got to look busy to justify your job.

Hey, Mr. McClish.

Take a look at this.

Elyma, I don't believe it. How could
this happen? We were clean.

Doesn't look good, Chase.

You know what happens when a crop's
infested with mealy moth.

Until we get a report from the lab, I'm
afraid we're going to have to put your

place under quarantine.

We're out of business.

We'll have to move fast if we don't want
to lose everything.

Quarantine doesn't kill us, and Mealy
Moss will.

Get in town and load up on Pest this
night. I'll get the crop duster ready.

meet you at the airfield. All right.

I don't know what you're talking about.

What are you talking about?

Emma, what I'm trying to say is, if you
and I are gonna get married, I gotta

sell Ursula and get a straight job.

I've been sitting here trying to figure
out what I'm gonna do.

I never had a straight job before.

I never even wore a tie before.

Except once, when my daddy died.

Being on the road all the time, it
really means a lot to you, doesn't it?

I can change that.

I can get used to something else.

I don't want you to change.

I love you just the way you are.

Yeah? Yeah.

You know, another thing that my mother
said was that husbands and wives should

be together.

So if you're going to be out there
riding on the road, I'm going to be

there beside you.

Oh, Emma.

Maybe the driving lesson could wait.

I'm coming.

Who is it? Me.

Oh, I'm not dressed.

I missed you before you went to work.

I'm caught.

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

I wanted to call and apologize about my
behavior last night.

I couldn't. I wanted to. I just
couldn't.

I guess I was afraid.

Afraid?

Afraid of what? I told you, I don't
bite.

I was afraid that you might finally tell
me you hated me.

I'll leave if you want.

If you leave now, I'll never speak to
you again.

I have some exciting news I'd like to
share with you.

Your old man called this morning.

What would my father want with you?
Well, actually, Angela set the whole

up.

With J .J. making this big play for
governor in this next election, he's got

get his machinery together.

Jordan, this morning, he formally gave
me the opportunity

to run as lieutenant governor.

And you accepted?

Well, of course.

It's the chance I've been waiting for.

Isn't that exciting news?

I think you only have room in your life
for one J .J. Roberts.

I'm sure you can find your way out. I
really do have to get ready for work.

Jordan, what is this?

Jordan!

has not to be disturbed.

Your physician, Dr. Lloyd, would like a
moment with you?

All right, that's all I can spare.

Yes, sir.

What did I do for you, Doc?

I would have called, but I thought it
would be best to see you in person. What

about?

My office called with the results of
your test.

What test?

Your potency test.

Remember you asking me to run one?

I won't know what happened until I run
more tests, but... Well, my immediate

advice to you is to be absolutely
certain you use proper birth control

if you're planning on engaging in any
sexual activity.

Are you telling me that my vasectomy
didn't work?

Not completely, no.

What do you mean, not completely?

That's your malpractice insurance, Doc.

I don't care where you're hiding, Cass.
I'll find you.

So help me God, I'll find you.

Hi.

Hello, Melissa.

I wasn't expecting any company.

Neither was I.

This is my land, you know.

No.

No, I didn't realize I'd run that far.

You go on, and I'll finish up here, and
then I'll be on my way.

I'm in no hurry to go anywhere.

Come on, Melissa.

Listen, I already told you, we can't go
on seeing each other, not

professionally.

and certainly not socially well i don't
see why not we both feel the same way

about each other listen you can't
possibly believe it's that simple forget

you're a married woman forget even that
i'm a priest you forget theology and uh

sin and all that other stuff for a
counselor which is me to see and get

with a patient which is you is totally
unethical

Now, do you understand what I'm saying?
We're wrong on every single level. Look,

Chris, if this is going to turn into a
serious conversation, why don't you just

come out, sit down, and we'll discuss
it.

No, Melissa, there is nothing more to
discuss.

Well, I think there is. And if you won't
come out, I'll just have to come in.

No, now, Melissa, stop.

We'll talk about this some other time.
There may not be another time you said

yourself. Now, listen, Melissa, we'll
make an appointment for this evening's

Christmas block.

Life is a lot better, don't you?

Just calm down, baby. Now breathe.

Just breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe
deep. Come on, hard.

Breathe. Breathe.

Breathe. Breathe again.

Again. Again.

Okay. Just calm down.

I'm going to get somebody here.
Everything's going to be just all right.

Next

on

Falcon Crit.

Dr. Sanders.

What are you doing here so early?

Robin, it's home.

Your baby's heart. We have to operate
immediately.

Oh. Well, you have to hand it to
Cassandra. She certainly does know how

off a disappearing act.

She's carrying my baby, and I want her
back here.

Come on, you are not suggesting that
while I had amnesia, I had some kind of

torrid love affair with an unnamed
stranger.

I'm not suggesting it.

This is.