All language subtitles for barely_famous_s02e05_love_and_upton

It's weird that we don't have our spin
-off show. We see something bigger here.

I mean, listen, we're ball -busters, you
know? And we're businesswomen. We're

entrepreneurs, you know?

You're what? I'm sorry?

Uh... No, we have some ideas.

Okay. You have ideas. I was thinking
there could be a show where Aaron and

take... Well, France.

Paris. Or like a docu -style situation
where you see me getting back to like

top of the modeling industry.

Back to the top.

It is like a workshopping thing. Like
we're still working on it. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. We're still working on it. Because
that just brought me to my next idea.

Let's say like you put me on a private
jet. I'm traveling all over the world.

And then the whole thing is like, ooh,
guess what day it is. I don't know what

the f*** that means. What about Aaron
and I in the female Breaking Bad?

Okay, so a show where you cook meth in
Beverly Hills. No, no, no, no, no. She

just means a show that gets... a lot of
Emmys. That's what she means by doing a

Breaking Bad type of show. I just want
you guys to start thinking more like,

what would Kris Jenner do?

Have a lot of success.

That's the first thing she would do.

And fans...

Kate

Upton, ladies and gentlemen. Kate Upton,
everybody.

Oh, my God, you were so good in that
last scene.

Oh, thanks. So good. Great work.

Oh, thank you. You were destroying it
out there. Thank you so much. Sarah,

nice to see you. Yes, I wanted to talk
to you, actually. I had so many ideas

about the next scene. Absolutely.
Because I feel like I need to channel,

Got that.

Keep it up. Thank you.

Kate Upton and I are co -stars in a
movie. I was very excited when I found

that I would be doing a film with her.
Because I just love...

the family vibe of a film set. It's
really the best support system I've ever

had.

I... It's just, like, really rude for
you to say that when, like, the crew's

here and they know that you never
interact with them and you always tell

that they can't talk to you during
lunch.

Oh, I don't care about the crew.

You are doing really great work. No, you
are doing, I mean, I'm just, like,

bouncing off you. I mean, you're great.
Yeah, I worked really hard on this role.

I feel like our characters, though, have
such great chemistry, right? The

dynamic between us, like you being the
brain surgeon.

You're doing amazing as the nurse.

It really, like, feels so... Yeah, it
feels very real. So crazy. It's like I

feel like your sister I've never had.
Like a model sister. I've always wanted

that. Oh, yeah. We should get lunch
sometime and really work on our

chemistry together.

Kate, I would love to do that. I could
probably... What about, like, tomorrow?

Tomorrow, yeah.

Let's do it.

Okay. Cool.

I like to think of myself as a romantic,
but dating in this town is a nightmare.

I think as you get older, it just keeps
getting, like, more and more desperate.

My therapist has said, when you know,
you know.

I don't think I ever felt that before. I
may have said that I did, but I really

think that this might be the one.

He's funny and he's smart.

He's breathing.

I think you look amazing tonight. Thank
you.

You're kind of a romantic.

Am I?

Yeah. I don't want to be like a weird
romantic.

No, like a sweet, like it's so cute. I
love that about you.

Hi. Hi, guys. How was your day? Good,
sorry. I know we're being like that

annoying couple. Oh, no, not at all.
Wait, do you think we're the cutest

you've ever seen in the dress, John,
before? We should do our cute faces for

time. Okay. Are you ready?

Uh -huh.

I'm just going to drop a dessert menu on
the table so you guys can peek at it.

Thank you.

I wanted to tell you something that's
kind of cool.

Okay. I'm going to be the bachelor on
the show Prince Charming.

Wait, that dating show where you, like,
a girl competes to... To win the

affections of me?

Oh. You know, I signed up for it before
I met you, and everybody was just like,

you should apply. And I was like, no
way. No way. Like, that's crazy. It's

crazy. But then I did, and then I met
you, and I'm like, she's just one of

cool people that is just like, ah, I'll
go with anything.

And I'm like, five of the last six
Prince Charmings have gone on to be

multimillionaires. Like, I'm confused.

Do you want to not be in this
relationship?

Oh, my God, Erin, no.

I do feel a little weird about this,
because, like, I'm not dating other

Me neither.

I mean, I will be for the show. Right,
of course. But I'm not going to fall in

love with these girls. I'm in love...
Whoa! I like you a lot.

Okay. But with these girls, it'll just
be, like, love, not love.

I feel like we can overcome this.

Girl, what's going on with your face?

What do you mean?

Why do you look like Hannibal Lecter?

Who the fuck is Hannibal Lecter? Oh,
it's this, like, really pretty model.

Oh. Kate gave this to me.

It looks like you're wearing Kate Upton
right now. That's what friends do.

Friends, like, share beauty tips.

You guys, remember how last night I was
going on my date with Barry?

Creamy and dreamy, uh -huh. Yeah. He
told me something kind of crazy. He's

on that show, Prince Charming.

Okay. That is so cheesy.

Like, there's 25 girls that he's going
to be dating while we're dating.

Gross. Okay, have you ever dated a guy
before where you're like, these things

are all amazing, but then there's this
one weird thing. Is it a deal breaker?

my God, you know what my friend Kate
Upton would do? She would just dump the

guy. Kate would never have this. Oh my
God.

You're friends with Kate Upton.

I'm just curious what I'm supposed to
do.

No, I mean like, if you're insane, you
could just go on Prince Charming and try

to win him on the show.

Okay, you know what?

Press delete. Press delete. You didn't
hear me say that. I'm hearing you. You

did not hear me say that because it
would be totally insane and a complete

of your time to go on Prince Charming.

Thank you so much for coming and picking
me up. I really appreciate it. I hope

it wasn't too out of your way.

Oh, no, of course. I'm just happy to be
able to spend the day with you. I have a

lot of fake friends.

But I know it. You know, I'm very in
tune when, you know, someone is just

looking to, like, pose for a picture
with me for Us Weekly or something. You

know, I don't have any fake friends.

But the thing is, you're not a
celebrity.

But the thing with Kate Upton is that we
are real friends.

I feel like on set we haven't had time
because everyone wants something from

They want something from you.

It's nice to be able to have a long car
ride. Yes. And like lunch and we can

shop. Maybe we can hit up Robertson. Oh,
actually, if you don't mind, if we just

stop and do a couple errands before we
go to lunch.

Fine. It's on the way and I just
figured, you know.

Thank you so much.

No problem. All right. Lunch.

If you don't mind.

Can we just stop by the bank?

Yeah, it's fine. Sure.

I don't feel bad. I know, it's good. I
have all day. I mean, I just, like, I

canceled everything.

I had, like, a photo shoot. I had a
meeting.

Oh, you model.

I didn't even know you were a model.
That's so cool.

All right.

Okay, I just have three more things to
do.

Thanks. Oh, my God, that line was
insane.

I feel like you and I, we are, like, the
new, like... Amy Schumer, Jennifer

Lawrence. Doing activities helps us to
bond for our characters. Right.

Are you going to sit in the back?

Oh, I'm so used to having a driver.

Oh.

I'm so hungry.

Oh, sorry. I just need to finish this
email. Sorry about that. Just let me

when you're done doing your email. Yeah,
of course. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

I really need a coffee. Let's stop.

Do you mind driving me a skinny -free
vanilla latte with almond milk? You

want to go in with me?

There's a lot of people there.

Oh, like paparazzi?

Yeah.

Oh.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

It's been so fun.

It's been so fun.

The best day ever.

Listen, I know that it sounds crazy,
but, like, I'm not just, like, going on

random dating show. I'm following my
boyfriend to a show that he was

committed to so that we can be together.

How did you get on that show?

Like, I actually need to know.

So, you're looking for your Prince
Charming. I am.

I know what producers try to do on
reality shows. I am the normal hot girl

the guy to end up with.

You know, it's like a dating show thing,
and you want, like, lunatics, but,

like, I'm not a lunatic, but I'm also
great for the show.

100 % this person and I are, like, meant
to be together. This is definitely your

Prince Charming.

I think Barry will look at me and go,
like, whoa, there's my soulmate. She

showed up for me. Like, we're, like,
really, really, really, really well

for each other. This is an opportunity
for us to grow together.

This is an opportunity for him to fuck
multiple women while he's on television.

It's actually perfect timing because
it's going to give Kate and I time to

of spend alone.

You and Kate up in there just so close.

We do everything together.

Like the other day, we were just like,
the whole day was just us.

It's like the two of us in the car. We
went to Walgreens and got all of her

prescriptions. You know, we pick up her
dry cleaning.

I've never gone in and picked up my
friend's dry cleaning for them. It's

stuff we do together.

I've never had a friend that gets me the
way she gets me.

She's probably also never had a friend
who runs so many errands for her. Great

quality in a friend.

I don't run errands for her. We're just
spending time together.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Kate Upton.

What about that, I'll do. Kate, hi.

What is it?

What?

Oh, my God.

Okay, I'll be right over.

I'll be right over.

Okay, bye.

What happened?

She is hysterical.

Sounds like something horrible happened,
like someone might have died. She was

hyperventilating. And is her first
instinct, it's me. You seem very happy

something horrible has happened to her.
All right, I got to go. Does Kate Upton

have a landline up her ass just so I can
get a hold of you over the next couple

months while I'm gone?

Bye. Love you.

She's so great.

What trust is in a relationship is being
right there to say, hi, I'm here. And I

just want you to know I see you and I'm
watching you.

And if you do anything, I'll see it.

That's also sort of like being a
stalker.

All right, Barry.

Or shall I say Prince Charming.

You ready?

I think I am.

Let the journey begin.

Good luck, Barry.

Thank you, Muhammad.

I can hear your heartbeat.

I just want to be the Scotty.

You're Michael.

Surprise.

Hi.

So crazy.

I'm nervous.

You don't need to be nervous. Okay.
We're all meeting each other for the

time. Do you like this dress?

Yeah. Anyway, thank you. Thank you so
much.

Okay, I'll see you inside. Okay, thank
you very much.

Come in.

Kate? Oh, my God.

Thank God you're here.

Are you okay? I didn't know who else to
call, and you're the only person I could

think of. I get to this door to find...

And the sales lady is like, just open
the box and follow the instructions.

And then I get here and it's this.

What even is this? I don't even know
what it is. OK, I'm sorry.

When you called, it sounded like someone
died or like, you know, I don't know.

You lost all your family members. How am
I supposed to read pictures?

Honestly?

I'm not like you. I'm not a problem
solver, you know? Like, I didn't go to

construction school. I don't even know
what this is. Like, I also didn't go to

construction school, but I feel like we
can figure it out. I feel like if we

just have instructions that we can, you
know. Oh, my.

I'm already late. I will be back right
after the dinner. Wait a minute. What?

You're leaving?

I know you can do this. It's so cool of
you to do this.

Kate?

Such a strong connection with him.

Yeah. It's tangible. I have an actual,
like a real connection with him. Right.

But when I was in the room with him, it
felt like he just jumped through my eyes

and right inside me. Yeah. It's almost
like we are already dating, you know?

seem very tense. Your neck seems very
stiff. No, actually. I think what you're

seeing is just the look of like someone
who just found their soulmate.

Sweet.

You're here.

There he is.

Ladies, today you meet our Prince
Charming.

And right now, we're going to start this
incredible and amazing experience and

journey.

The night is all yours, man.

Thank you, Mohammed.

Good luck. What an honor.

Hi, Lakshmi. Hi. Good to see you again.

Radiant, as usual.

Brianna, I love your lipstick.

I love yours, too.

They're beautiful.

Okay. Hi,

Shannon.

You match the sofa in your elegance,
Tiffany.

Oh, wait, wait. I'm just going to steal
you away for just a minute.

Oh, thank you. Can I steal you away?
Thank you. Anyone can steal me away.

Yep, I'll go first. We'll be back.

He looks scared.

Hey,

Sarah, what's up?

Abby.

I literally, I think I'm in the twilight
zone right now. I am still at Kate's

house, except we are not together.

For some reason, she thought that I
would be able to put her furniture

She bought a desk or something.

That's what she called you for?

Yeah. I always do that kind of thing for
you.

Oh, my gosh. She is treating me like her
assistant.

Why would she think that I would be an
assistant?

I have an assistant. You're my
assistant.

I'll call you from the car. Okay.

Okay, I just wanted to take a minute to
like reconnect because I feel like we're

not being ourselves, you know? I'm just
trying to like take it all in, you know,

and kind of just meet everyone. We just
met and I'm so honored. Great, we have

everything we need.

We're going to need you in two minutes.
Okay, thank you. Great, I just need

another minute with him. One second.

Okay, bye.

Okay, hold on. This is so embarrassing.

I'm just playing this thing up. Oh,
okay. You know that, right? Oh, my God.

Thank you for saying that. I'm just,
like, freaking out. I was like, when you

were looking at me like that, I was
like, I want to just say, hey, hey,

It's so good to see you. I was, like,
kissing each other, just, like, being

normal. Right. Listen, I'm not going to
be able to talk you through it again, so

I just want to make sure that, you know,
you just... Okay, so we're good.

Yeah, we're great.

Don't worry.

Okay. It's all going to work out.

I'm going to take care of everything.

Okay.

Unfortunately, ladies, one of you is
going to go home tonight.

Barry, before you pass out the tiara,
you need to come with me and let me know

which one you're sending home tonight.
Actually, I don't need to come with you.

I'm choosing Aaron. I'm sending Aaron
home.

Excuse me? I'm sorry, Aaron. Your time
is up.

I'm so sorry. You've got to be kidding
me. Barry, look at me.

Look at me.

Okay, you guys, honestly, I'm not even,
like, trying to, like, psych you out

right now. I'm just being real with you.

Barry and I have dated before, okay?

We are in a relationship.

She's come undone. This guy is my
boyfriend.

Barry, tell them.

She's undone.

We were in a relationship.

We were in a real, real relationship,
like, in real life, outside of this

We were in a relationship.

She's done. I'm the only sane person in
this room.

Everyone's crazy but me.

You know what? You guys all deserve each
other. You should just gangbang all

these girls, okay?

And I'm going to go continue to be the
sane person that I am. You're crazy.

You're a lunatic.

You are a piece of shit.

You're all psychos.

I'm sane. I don't give a shit about any
of this, okay? I'm out of here.

Bye, Erin.

Bye. Well, guys, I just have one thing
to say to you.

Who's ready to go to the Bahamas?

Let's go!

What if you only have one soulmate and
it just, like, ruined everything?

But also, it's like, whatever, Mary.
You're a loser. Like, everyone sees

Do you know how much the spray tan
costs? Someone says I get you?

You want me to get you?

The effect is actually really good.

I get it.

That you guys are, like, good or drunk
and literally cry in the limo.

i'm not doing this for you guys i'm
doing it for me here we go here we go

everybody quiet and action it all comes
down to this

can you get me the test results

can you get me the test results

Can you get me the test results?

Get the test results yourself.

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! What was
that?

Okay, you want to tell you what that
was? Please.

This woman is an animal, okay? She has
been treating me like her assistant.

him. Tell him what you have made me do.
She asked me to come over to her house.

I'm thinking we're friends. I'm thinking
I'm coming over because, oh, I'm so

sad. I'm crying. I'm crying. I come
over, and she asked me to build

Oh, there's more, okay? I drove her
around. I'm going to do a job. I'm

I'm talking. I drove her around, all
right? I think she's going to target the

DMV. I'm not going through anything. I'm
pissed.

You treat me like an assistant. Why
would I be an assistant? I have my own

assistant. May I say one thing? Why
would I be your assistant when I have my

assistant? Abby! May I just say one
thing?

What? You're fired.

Her? She's fired.

Kate Upton's not fired.

You're fired. I'm fired? Yeah.

This movie, it's going to suck.

Oh, okay. It's going to suck. Thank you.

Thank you. And I should know, because
I've been in a lot of movies that have

sucked, and this takes the cake. No, we
know.

It'll suck once she's gone.

Hi. Hi.

What are you doing?

I left.

Yeah. Oh, you left?

You know what? He was not the guy that I
thought he was. He was just like, it's

you, it's you, and I want you to win,
and I don't want to be here. And I was

like, you should stay and do this, and I
have to remove myself because I'm just

no longer interested in you
romantically. We'll probably be friends.

lost interest.

I lost interest.

I'm confused. Weren't you supposed to be
shooting this movie? I quit the movie.

What? Yeah. You know, I just, I've been
getting so close with Kate off screen

that I felt like it was affecting the
movie.

And I just, I have to be honest with
myself.

Friendships to me are so much more
important than work.

Nothing more important than being
honest.

I really want to be friends with Kate
Hudson.

Oh, no, they are very... They're best
friends.

We are not best friends.

I made you an appointment to inject your
lips. I don't need that.

Your lips are going to swell.

I must let you know that this is
invisible in court. It's invisible in

If I could take a Polaroid, this would
be so stupid.

I've just entered another dimension. Are
you two... Is that what's happening

here?