Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,440
That's my brother's new business venture
I was telling you about.
2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,100
Shit,
3
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:06,300
look at the tail on her.
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,740
Tail on her.
5
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,060
Tail on her.
6
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,000
He made this all happen. Me?
7
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,660
Yeah. You the man.
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,300
Waitress, can you give these drinks to
those guys over there, Dan?
9
00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:20,280
They look a little parched.
10
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:22,900
No, it's your thing.
11
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,400
Bob!
12
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,520
Hello, everybody.
13
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,280
Thank you for coming tonight.
14
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,760
As you know, there has been a problem
with society.
15
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:55,620
Pot is legal, and there is a plethora of
money floating around that cannot be
16
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,920
federally insured.
17
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:03,820
One such company, the Weed Founders
Credit Union, has made a name for
18
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:04,819
themselves.
19
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,360
A fucking credit union.
20
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:21,420
How can we allow a credit union to
tarnish the good banking name with state
21
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,720
legal drug money?
22
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,380
Oh, it started off as a joke.
23
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:34,400
Now, every single pot dealer and grower
is part of this bank.
24
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:42,460
Since they started two months ago, they
have amassed $100 billion.
25
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:45,380
That's incredible.
26
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,800
I'm really surprised at that. Senator
Jobe.
27
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,280
But I met with them this morning, and
they want to give money, a lot of money,
28
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,800
to the children's orphanage.
29
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,640
The orphanage?
30
00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:01,320
They don't care about the orphanage.
They just want you to think they care
31
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,320
the orphanage.
32
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,780
They are drug dealers.
33
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,440
Senator Jobe and everyone else in the
room, please open your eyes.
34
00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:13,680
Do you want to be known?
35
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:21,130
As the senator who sat idly by and
watched America decay because of the
36
00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:22,850
legalization of marijuana?
37
00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:30,050
Do you know how many people have fought
and died in this country to make this
38
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,150
the greatest country in the world?
39
00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:38,190
My family has served in this country
with their time and their lives since
40
00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:39,670
beginning of this country.
41
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:45,560
I am Thomas Jefferson's great, great,
great, great, great, great
42
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,920
And he would have said that you are in
the wrong.
43
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:52,320
We give this country money.
44
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,500
We make the economy grow.
45
00:02:55,020 --> 00:03:01,460
Everyone has better lives because of it.
Because I lend them money or hold on to
46
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:02,460
it for them.
47
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:07,440
But you are a private bank and make the
government pay you for its money that we
48
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:08,440
let you make.
49
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:15,890
Senator Hawaii, you're missing the
point. Oh, really? Marijuana is bad.
50
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,710
Hold your comments for one more minute.
51
00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:28,550
Marijuana is so bad, it is so evil, that
I've brought you tapes, documentary
52
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:35,170
proof from pot dispensaries all around
the state of these deviant behaviors,
53
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:36,550
of these mongrels.
54
00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,710
Before you ask...
55
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,220
Yes, it is as real as Miracle Whip.
56
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,000
Debbie, please roll the tape.
57
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,500
Are you okay?
58
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:01,880
Yes.
59
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,740
Rob, now that I'm in your arms.
60
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,460
Oh, she's okay. She's a little shaken
up, but... Yeah.
61
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,600
I love you, Rob.
62
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,720
After this, can we be together? I told
you. I'm going to take you to Red
63
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,120
Lobster. Do you really mean it, Rob?
64
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:22,420
Of course I mean it.
65
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,020
Okay.
66
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,020
Let's do this, Rob.
67
00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:29,260
Okay.
68
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:35,780
After you hit play, go over there and
give that hag poison in her drink.
69
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,020
Okay?
70
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,660
Whatever you want, my hunk of a man.
71
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,160
Okay.
72
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:43,780
Let's do it.
73
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:45,960
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
74
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,940
Um, silent button, Debbie.
75
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,820
Yeah, that one.
76
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440
Show me.
77
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:42,600
You're crazy.
78
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,220
Take it easy, kid.
79
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,840
I just want to talk to you.
80
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,960
What you are about to see may not be
suitable for young audiences.
81
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:28,220
The events you are about to witness may
keep you awake at night. They may numb
82
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:32,580
your nerves, or they might make you do
what is right.
83
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:39,240
The American tragedies of Orville,
Maxwell, a top -top, Vance, Joseph,
84
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:45,360
Mary, and a young Jesus are the saddest
events to have taken place since the
85
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,360
death of Alexander the Great.
86
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,120
And here are their stories.
87
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:58,860
Young child geniuses who got their
degrees from Harvard, Oxford, and MIT by
88
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:04,620
age of 15 took a dare to buy some
marijuana from a local dispensary and
89
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:10,140
to dispel the rumors that the cannabis
plant is an evil of this earth, as was
90
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:13,960
taught to them last semester at Eli
Lilly University.
91
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,800
On this dare, the boys brought with them
a cameraman to document their findings
92
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,540
and went to the most secluded place in
New York City, the South Street Seaport,
93
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:27,420
where the fish market is long dead and
so is its economy.
94
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:32,680
They figured it would be vacant and
secluded, so if something did go wrong
95
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:37,360
its supposed illicit effects, nobody
would get harmed, except maybe the
96
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,760
cameraman. But he signed his waivers and
was ready to go into the battlefield.
97
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:47,440
But as it went... Sally Sunshine took a
shortcut through the neighborhood to
98
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,560
pick her triplets up from the free
school for underprivileged families when
99
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,500
boys saw her and could not contain their
young loins anymore.
100
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,760
Hey, baby, I got a fine wine you want to
taste.
101
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,160
Come here and give me some sugar.
102
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,600
I love apples!
103
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:04,780
Help! Get away from me!
104
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,320
The boys chased her through the streets
until they trapped her in an alley and
105
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,520
did well.
106
00:08:13,469 --> 00:08:17,030
Let's just say she didn't get to pick
her kids up on time.
107
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,030
No, stop it, please!
108
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:24,510
That pot was great. Makes me feel
strong.
109
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:31,490
Yeah, I love that. It's legal now and we
can have sex with any girl we want.
110
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,309
Me, dude, hurry!
111
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,169
No, no, stay away, please!
112
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:53,890
who some dubbed a young abraham lincoln
got stuck on his incurable and unhealthy
113
00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:59,250
habit of smoking the pot one day while
looking for books and how to become a
114
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:05,190
better american vance came upon a hidden
black market book shoved into a corner
115
00:09:05,190 --> 00:09:11,350
by who knows who which intrigued him to
no end he couldn't stop reading it one
116
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:15,870
simple phrase and one simple image gave
him ideas of grandeur
117
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:34,060
His dreams of becoming president one day
all came to an end as he entered the
118
00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:37,560
most heavily armed and government
-protected building in America.
119
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:51,520
Killing innocents, spilling blood until
one lucky shot got him falling down into
120
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,220
the hands of AIG.
121
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:09,720
Vance's story has more behind it, which
makes it all the more disturbing.
122
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,580
He left behind a grieving widow with ten
children.
123
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,940
They don't really understand that they
are not going to see their father for
124
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:23,900
rest of their lives, as they are lined
up on the streets with their little hat
125
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:29,800
inside, begging for another fair chance
of life.
126
00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:33,000
It makes me cry just to think about it.
127
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:43,910
Then there was the story of Joseph,
Mary, and a young Jesus.
128
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:48,530
Not the ones from the Bible, but close
enough to a modern -day revelation.
129
00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:53,770
What would have turned into another
savior was lost to the unacceptable
130
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:57,970
through the devices of slack gun control
law and legalized marijuana.
131
00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:03,550
Joseph could not bear it any longer. His
thoughts began to stray.
132
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:10,460
He even began to believe that his son
was not immaculately conceived through
133
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:11,520
Lord from up above.
134
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,680
Jealous thoughts ran through his head as
his wonderful family enjoyed themselves
135
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,720
playing a game and missing him.
136
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:22,020
Oh, not for long, buddy.
137
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,220
Woo -hoo!
138
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,100
Free parking!
139
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,600
In your face!
140
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:38,740
Joseph smoked a bomb, took out his
assault rifle he got from the local gun
141
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:43,100
store, and, well... No, that's not fair!
I was just about to beat you!
142
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,700
I'll spare Monopoly!
143
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:51,220
...ended the Virgin Mary's and the young
Jesus' lives prematurely.
144
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,400
Could all of this have been avoided?
145
00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,660
You bet.
146
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:05,000
If pot wasn't in his system, he and his
family would be here today proclaiming
147
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,220
the secrets of life.
148
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:13,640
These three tragic and now prolific
stories of the 20th century will stand
149
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:19,520
infamy, such as JFK's assassination, the
former chairman of NASDAQ's fall,
150
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,260
Bernie Madoff, and the fatal crash of
Princess Diana.
151
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:31,380
Because of the ordinary, who weren't
able to become extraordinary, died by
152
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:37,020
hands of senators who legalized the most
vicious plant this century has ever
153
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:38,020
known.
154
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:44,960
Do what's right. Make pot illegal.
Because you are the future of this
155
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,040
Godspeed.
156
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,140
Harder! Harder!
157
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:09,460
Shit! So you see, my good people,
deviant mind produced from deviant
158
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:12,940
Here it is.
159
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,400
There's no doubt about it.
160
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,720
Sorry, can you hold your questions for
another minute, please?
161
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,100
I don't have a question. It's more of a
comment.
162
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,850
Can you please hold your comments until
I'm off stage? Thank you.
163
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:46,190
So, as I was saying, Bob, what are you
doing here?
164
00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:49,390
Take it easy.
165
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:50,770
Fuck you, man.
166
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:55,130
Hey, Senator OG, nice to see you.
167
00:13:55,390 --> 00:13:56,410
Nice to see you, Bob.
168
00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:01,450
Anyways, you guys don't have to listen
to my brother. Everything was
169
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:02,490
and it's a lie.
170
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,910
Fucking stop it. You're going to kill my
business.
171
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,810
Trying to ruin your business?
172
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:14,250
How about how you're trying to sabotage
all the good weed dealers and make them
173
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:16,250
illegit? Wow.
174
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,130
That's quite a statement.
175
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,590
Unbelievable.
176
00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:21,270
He's lying.
177
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,200
My brother smokes the weed also, so you
can't believe a word he says.
178
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:30,300
My good people, marijuana does not make
you do bad things.
179
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:31,940
Artistic things?
180
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,720
Yes. Lazy things?
181
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,500
Yes. But it does not make you violent.
182
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,160
Is anybody listening to me?
183
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:43,440
Senator OG, come on. You know about it.
184
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,520
It's true.
185
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:46,940
It's...
186
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,920
See? He must have been smoking the gun.
Oh, shit. His heart failed.
187
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,580
There goes his narcolepsy again. Debbie,
please escort this charlatan out of
188
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:04,120
here. If you guys believe anything this
guy is saying, you're a sheep and you
189
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,380
need to be brought back to the farm. You
look like a fool.
190
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,480
It's ridiculous.
191
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,340
Rob, you call that a documentary?
192
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,940
Since when does a documentary have
someone else's point of view?
193
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,160
Answer that, Rob.
194
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:17,900
Answer that.
195
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,300
That is a good question, Robert.
196
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:23,970
How does a documentary have a woman's
point of view?
197
00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:29,430
The documentarian really cares about his
work and is very passionate about it.
198
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:33,230
When a woman is getting raped, what kind
of filth do you employ?
199
00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:39,490
Okay, he's right.
200
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:44,810
I'm lying. It's a total fraud. But it
really happens, but I couldn't really
201
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,830
find... We've had enough, Mr. Robert.
202
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,760
We will keep our vote for no
prohibition.
203
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,420
Okay, thank you.
204
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,560
I guess it didn't go so well.
205
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:24,170
Maybe next time, I know what'll cheer
you up.
206
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:28,710
There's nothing that can cheer me up,
Debbie.
207
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:34,250
My brother is stupid, and he's younger,
and he's beating me. I'm supposed to be
208
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,690
the evil, maniacal one.
209
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:40,210
How about we finish what we started
earlier?
210
00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:47,310
My super rich guy pal of a guy who makes
me so wet. What are you thinking about?
211
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:49,030
All money, son.
212
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,050
Oh, that's great.
213
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,470
Oh, yeah. That always makes me feel
better. Yeah, right there.
214
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:06,810
Yeah. Oh, right there. Oh, no, you
don't. Mm -hmm.
215
00:17:07,869 --> 00:17:12,210
Yeah, I know you like it. I know you
like it. Oh, God. I like it. Oh, God.
216
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,849
More. More.
217
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,660
Let's fix it once and for all.
18043
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof