All language subtitles for This.Time.with.Alan.Partridge.S02E06.720p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-TVLAMERS

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,519 This programme contains some strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,399 Gather round, chaps and chapesses. Princess Anne will enter the studio 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,599 through the double doors alongside her assistant. 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,599 Er, it... Flanked by her equerry. Right, yeah. 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,759 She'll be introduced to Alan, and Alan, I think 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,919 you're going to make introductions to the others? 7 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,079 Indeed, Howard, to select members of the team, absolutely. 8 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:23,559 Now, the protocol is that you refer to her as Your Royal Highness. 9 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,759 If I may, Howard? Only in the first instance. 10 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,599 Sorry? Your Royal Highness in the first instance, 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,599 and then and thereafter refer to her as ma'am, rhyming with jam, 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,119 rather than ma'am, common mistake, rhyming with... 13 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,519 Smarm. Thank you. OK, so I think that was it. 14 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,159 Go make some magic. Places, everyone. 15 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,119 Er, just a few more bits and bobs from me. 16 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,759 Try not to crowd Her Royal Highness. 17 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:43,919 We're all excited. 18 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,079 Not all—Simon, you made your republican feelings clear, 19 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,039 so if you'd recuse yourself from the royal circumference, thank you. 20 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,479 Unless you've had a rethink? Nope! 21 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,359 OK, Simon is not a supporter of the monarchy 22 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,279 and therefore will not be a participant. 23 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,639 And I respect that. 24 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,319 Well, I don't respect it, but there it is. 25 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,119 I just think that an accident of birth... 26 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,759 Finally, I have the This Time logo engraved 27 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,359 onto a smoked glass chalice, which I'm sure will sit well 28 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,439 in the display case of such a revered, regal jumping jockey. 29 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,119 She's a three-day eventer. Is that the term? Many thanks. 30 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,479 Yeah, and it's not a glass chalice. We had it engraved, 31 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,479 but it's a pewter tankard. Titles. A tankard? Yeah. 32 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,119 I'm not presenting a peasant's drinking vessel 33 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,879 to the future Queen of England... 34 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,640 ...if there's a big accident! 35 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,519 My lords, ladies and gentlemen, hang out the bunting. 36 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,759 Parp a fine fanfare. Unfurl the red carpet. 37 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,559 Round up the beggars and the vagrants and tell them to move on. 38 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,839 For today, we are in the presence of royalty. 39 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,439 Welcome to a very special edition of This Time. 40 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,239 A royal edition of This Time. 41 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,959 If I said to you, "Name your favourite Anne," 42 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,279 the answers would span the spectrum from Hathaway... 43 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,919 Oh, yes, delightful. 44 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,000 ...to Of Green Gables... 45 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,439 ...Boleyn... 46 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,039 Crk! Ugh! 47 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,119 ...Summers... 48 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,239 Cor! 49 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,280 ...and Frank. 50 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,319 But to a generation of British men and women, there is only one Anne 51 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,879 and that Anne is Her Royal Highness, the Princess Royal, Princess Anne. 52 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,279 Who joins us in the studio tonight for a rare live interview. 53 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,679 We'll be sitting down with her later in the show. 54 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,280 But there's plenty more still to come. 55 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,320 And we're off. 56 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,279 Hello. Did you enjoy Cornwall, Mr Partridge? 57 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,320 Mm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 58 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,559 I woke up and you were gone. 59 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,759 Yes, I had a few errands to attend to. 60 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,159 I think I explained in the note. 61 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,519 I got the train home. And I could look out the window 62 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,359 and enjoy the memories of the night before. 63 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,399 Yeah, as long as you remember to change at Plymouth, otherwise you... 64 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,279 ...you miss your connection. We didn't miss our connection, did we? 65 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,359 All trying to be on our best behaviour for the imminent arrival 66 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,800 of Her Royal Highness, Princess Anne, the Princess Royal. 67 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,040 14th in line to the throne. 68 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,480 Really is a very long laugh. 69 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,159 Can I meet Anne? I've always wanted to chat with her. We'd get on. 70 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,280 Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. 71 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,679 Enjoyed yourself in Cornwall with Madam? 72 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,079 It was very pleasant. 73 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,399 Yes, well, the cleaner phoned, 74 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,959 said she wanted paying extra. 75 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,719 Said it took two hours longer than normal to clean. 76 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,760 Fine! 77 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,639 What happened? 78 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,600 I don't want to talk about it. 79 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,319 What's going on with your hair? 80 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,839 Nothing. 81 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,599 Is that deliberate? 82 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,079 It's respectful. 83 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,479 Let's have a look at the back. Oh. 84 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,839 It looks like a series of cables being fed into a junction box. Yeah. 85 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,319 Yeah. I like it. 86 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,360 And we're back in 5, 4... 87 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,479 All that still to come, a veritable feast, fit for royalty. 88 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,519 And now, from princess to court jester, 89 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,879 as we turn our attention to Simon Denton at the digiwall, 90 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,879 where, like a Buckingham Palace balcony, we can look down and 91 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:41,199 see throngs of teeming well-wishers, all of them itching for a gander. 92 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,599 Oh, I think there's a cream for that. That's humour. 93 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,999 What are we talking about today? 94 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,439 Well, you suggested we ask for viewers' tips on correct etiquette, 95 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,599 because I know you are a stickler for good manners. 96 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,639 Depends on the occasion. A formal dinner, yes, 97 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,959 we will pass the port to the left. 98 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,599 But you know, we don't banish women to the drawing room any more. 99 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,639 God! 100 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,599 But any woman with a degree, more than welcome to stay and chat. 101 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,239 You do have to move with the times. You do, indeed. 102 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,719 This is from Helen in Leeds, who says, 103 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,919 "We come from a family of proud curtsiers, 104 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,759 "and always curtsy Mother and Father before we enter the house. 105 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,799 "The neighbours find it a bit odd, but it's nothing to do with them." 106 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,719 I curtsied once, when I had whiplash. 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,439 I was unable to bow. 108 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,559 I had no option but to cast my eyes downwards, 109 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,039 tug the sides of my trousers, and formed a very small curtsy. 110 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,759 It was only to the mayor of Norwich, but I know he appreciated it. 111 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,399 Another one here, from Rosemary in Bath, 112 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,359 hopefully not Rosemary in the bath. 113 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,279 Well, you-you wouldn't put rosemary in the bath. No, you would not. 114 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,559 Unless you were trying to make yourself into a stock. 115 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,999 You could be in the bath with rosemary, ginger and saffron. 116 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,359 Sounds like my kind of bath. 117 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,400 And Basil. No men! 118 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,079 Rosemary in Bath says, "What is the correct etiquette 119 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,119 "for the amount of make-up an unmarried woman should wear?" 120 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,359 Good question. I mean, some of the women you see, it's a bit much. 121 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,599 That girl in Carphone Warehouse, 122 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,359 foundation caked on like brown marzipan. 123 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,199 Yeah, and eyebrows, with those eyebrows like an ancient Egyptian. 124 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,799 I think she thought she was Nefertiti. 125 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,279 To be fair, she's probably been a mummy since she was about 15. 126 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,879 Jennie? 127 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:09,559 Now, with full-time royals performing 3,900 engagements 128 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,039 last year, they certainly get about. 129 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,959 But how many of us have actually clapped eyes on one? 130 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,399 I've met a fair few. Have you? 131 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,359 Yes, be-bearded Prince Michael and Princess Michael of Kent, 132 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:23,119 the flame-haired duchess, Sarah Ferguson of York. 133 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,719 And Edward. 134 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,440 But among the general public, who's ever seen a royal? 135 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,920 Oh, in real life? 136 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,240 Anyone else? Come on, think. 137 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,039 All right. 138 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,359 So, tell us, which royal have you seen? 139 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,839 Princess Diana, 1995. 140 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,039 I was painting a gym and she walked past and I said, 141 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,759 Oh, um... you've dropped your towel. 142 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,879 So I gave it to her and she said, "Oh, cheers, pet." 143 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,319 I said, No problem. 144 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,599 Hang on, she said, Cheers, pet? 145 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,799 Aye. Why would Princess Diana say Cheers, pet? 146 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,279 Because I picked up her towel. Not the sentiment, the words. 147 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,119 Why would a woman from Sandringham say pet? 148 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,279 Well, you'd have to ask her. Well, we can't. 149 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,919 Well, maybe she was trying to fit in with the locals. 150 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,679 Why, where were you? Stockton. 151 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,479 That wasn't Diana. How do you know? 152 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,799 Well, how do you know it was? Because I picked up her towel. 153 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,079 But it could have been anyone. 154 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,119 No, it had her initials on it. D L. 155 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,799 Diana Lady. 156 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,399 Or David Lloyd. 157 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,839 No, I-I said to her, Are you Princess Diane? 158 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,639 and she said, "Aye." 159 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,079 Did she say Yes, Or did she say Aye? 160 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,919 Aye. There was another time, I met a queen. 161 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,839 Right, wait... Wait do you mean THE Queen? 162 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,199 Actually, it doesn't matter. 163 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,039 Who gave you that tooth? Oh, me mate, Michael. 164 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,039 Well, thank you once again to our studio audience. 165 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,079 And time now for some music. 166 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,679 We asked the under-eights to pick up their recorders 167 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,639 and play along to the National Anthem. 168 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,799 Put together, here's how it sounds. 169 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,920 It's not good. And we're off. 170 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,439 All right? Yeah. Yeah. 171 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,679 I know you were hoping to do the interview on your own. 172 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,159 Er... Oh, do you mean with Princess Anne? 173 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,480 Yeah. Nah! God, no... 174 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,679 No, I mean, yes, this morning, I was a bit confused 175 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,319 about why they were having you do it with me. 176 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,199 Which is why I threw the cup at the wall. 177 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,359 Right. 178 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,799 Er, but no, pleased for you. 179 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,039 I just wanted to make sure. 180 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,119 I wouldn't want you thinking that they brought me in 181 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,799 because you were too... 182 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,239 What? A has-been? No. No. 183 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,999 Yesterday's man. No. 184 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,479 Dinosaur? No, because they thought you were too long in the tooth. 185 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,999 Right, well that's the same thing as the things I said, 186 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,119 but... in a different way. Because it's not. 187 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,799 Jennie, let me tell you something, 188 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,199 if I was a woman in your situation, in the current gender climate, 189 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,319 I would be milking this for all it's worth. 190 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,159 In fact, get yourself on that milking stool 191 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,879 and yank those teats until that udder is so empty, 192 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,359 it looks like a deployed air bag. 193 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,919 Does that make sense? 194 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,200 That's what I've been doing. 195 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,239 Oh, OK, well, good, then. Good. 196 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,960 And we're back in 5, 4... 197 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,879 Now, it's hard to think of a more enduring union 198 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,399 than that of the British people and the royal family. 199 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,199 But how and why has the relationship stayed so strong? 200 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,079 To give a historical perspective, 201 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,559 I'd like to introduce a man I consider one of the finest 202 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:17,479 royal correspondents, nay, finest journalists, in England. Mm. 203 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,999 A man I'm privileged to call a friend. 204 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,199 Joining us via video call from his home in, appropriately enough, 205 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,399 King's Lynn... You couldn't make it up. ...Hugh Bevell. 206 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,599 Good evening. Hello. 207 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,519 Now, Hugh, you have been my go-to man on British royal history 208 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,119 ever since we first met. Many moons ago. 209 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,799 You were manning a cider stall 210 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,959 at a Conservative Party summer fundraiser. 211 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,119 I... tend not to declare my political leanings. 212 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,879 But you're a royal correspondent, Hugh. 213 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,999 You know, I can't imagine Nicholas Witchell or James Whitaker 214 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,479 at a TUC conference, 215 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,239 unless there's a very good buffet. 216 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,279 Now, Hugh, you've been a royal correspondent 217 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,199 for Radio Norwich, North Norfolk Digital and Al Jazeera. 218 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,159 And you now write books on Britain's relationship with the monarchy. 219 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,719 And you argue that Britain is at its strongest 220 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,119 when the royal family is at its strongest. 221 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,439 Well, when the monarchy is robust, 222 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,759 we see Britain at its finest in science, commerce, even art. 223 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,799 I often look at Shakespeare's passage in Antony And Cleopatra, 224 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,439 a clever paean to Queen Elizabeth herself, 225 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,039 which I'd like to read, if I may. 226 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,800 Oh, please do. Yeah. Do, Hugh, do. 227 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,600 "For her own person, it beggared all description. 228 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:31,399 "She did lie in her pavilion, cloth of gold, of tissue..." 229 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,439 Hugh? "...o'er-picturing that Venus where we see 230 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,679 "the fancy outwork nature. 231 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,039 "On each side her stood pretty dimpled boys..." 232 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,360 Hugh? "...like smiling cupids. And what they undid, did." 233 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,479 Oh, how lovely! Really lovely and beautifully read. 234 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,999 Yeah. It's as if... Yeah, do you want to just pop the book back... 235 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,999 It's as if strong leadership allows Britain to find its voice, 236 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,279 to-to unlock its greatness. ...exactly where it was? 237 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,559 And how long do you think the partnership will hold? 238 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,719 Because it's been a little fractious of late. 239 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,319 Or to put it another way, 240 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,039 are we starting to see the cracks in the establishment? 241 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,679 Well, I-I'm not sure I'd go that far. 242 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,799 Just one crack, then, because I suppose the decision... 243 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,080 It's not theirs, it's ours. 244 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,999 Pardon? You've got your arse out, mate. 245 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,839 We can see it in the mirror. 246 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,439 Uh, can I quickly mention my...? No. 247 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,919 Oh, how peculiar! The funny fellow. Apologies. Isn't he? 248 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,639 Yeah, he's... You know, to be fair, 249 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,319 when it comes to royal history, there is no-one to touch him. 250 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,400 But, er, in his personal life, yeah, he's been struggling. Yeah. Mm. 251 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,559 Robots are nothing new. 252 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,679 Indeed, the simple fact is that the first robot, 253 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,639 and this is a very personal opinion, was the digital watch. 254 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,679 But are we really ready for robots in our homes? 255 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,999 Whatever we ask of them, a robot always says, Yes, 256 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,199 like an intimidated employee or a hairdresser who's not listening. 257 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,680 But what happens the day the robot says, No? 258 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,399 I'm outside the University of West Sussex 259 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,439 and in their computer science department, 260 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,039 they're developing some of the most advanced robotics anywhere 261 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,760 outside of America and China and Germany and Japan. 262 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,799 Also Singapore. 263 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,999 Love these guys. 264 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,080 Electric lady. 265 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,719 Nice. 266 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,679 This droid, what's it capable of? 267 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,319 That's just a coffee machine. 268 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,639 Got it. Is this a coffee machine? 269 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,880 No. Could be. 270 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,480 It doesn't make coffee. 271 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,199 So this is the unit here. 272 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,999 It's a fully electronic, talk-controlled quadruped. 273 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,639 We foresee a lot of uses in the industrial cleaning sector 274 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,359 as well as around the home. 275 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,199 Yeah. Quite a noisy little... 276 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,399 I want to say chap, not quite sure what to call it. 277 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,039 Her nickname is Lady. 278 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,159 Yeah, I don't really do nicknames. 279 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,160 Can you switch it off, please? 280 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,079 I asked you to turn it off, please. 281 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,560 Sorry, love. Oh. 282 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,119 I've got to say, I remain something of a sceptic. 283 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,599 Call me a Luddite, I don't even have a Teasmade, 284 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,199 let alone a computerised Japanese toilet like Jonathan Ross. 285 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,639 I've thrown a heavy towel over Alexa. 286 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,159 Nevertheless, the nerds here have allowed me to take 287 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,719 this robot dog home. 288 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,319 Its name is Unit One. 289 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,360 Not Lady. 290 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,959 First I wanted to put it through its paces and, with four legs 291 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:41,159 powered by four servo motors, it's a robot with as much bite as bark. 292 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,839 Not the quietest droid, but with a top speed of a nifty six, 293 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,559 it's quick enough to outrun anyone with a mobility issue. 294 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,359 But are we ready for robots? 295 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,159 Could you trust this face? 296 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,879 Look at it. The idea of robotics isn't new. 297 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,959 Aristotle wrote about automata replacing slavery in 322 BC. 298 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,119 That's three centuries before Christ. 299 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,200 Allow me to put that in context. 300 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,639 Though you just did. 301 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,199 Well, and then there was Buddhist scholar Daosheng, who imagined 302 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,999 metal humanoid automata that could recite sacred texts. 303 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,959 So the appearance of being intelligent 304 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,719 but actually, just the ability to read out loud. 305 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,079 Precisely. Yeah. Huw Edwards. 306 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,519 But what if doing no harm involves moral ambiguity? 307 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:25,919 Take self-driving cars. What if swerving to avoid hitting someone 308 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,399 on the road involves mounting the kerb and hitting someone else? 309 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,839 How does the robot decide whom to harm and whom to save? 310 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,319 Good use of the word whom. 311 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,759 But it is a dilemma if a... robot car was hurtling towards 312 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,799 a pregnant woman pushing a pram. 313 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,079 Of course, it would swerve to avoid her, 314 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,199 even if it meant hitting another pedestrian. 315 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,879 But what if that pedestrian was a senior politician, 316 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,559 like Grant Shapps? 317 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,759 Now you've put that robot in an impossible situation. 318 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,359 Well, there's also the issue of automatons serving us 319 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,199 in a range of different ways. 320 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,239 Some of them in perhaps more intimate ways. 321 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,160 Do you mean sex robots? 322 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,519 Well, yes. Yeah, that's weird 323 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,559 cos I don't think I've thought about that before. 324 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,599 Do you think that would be all right, then, to do that? 325 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,599 Well, it's a question that's never been addressed. 326 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,719 Cos they could be for women too. 327 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,279 Just be a case of adapting an existing unit. 328 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,399 But perhaps a more complex issue 329 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,879 is how to manage an emotional connection. 330 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,439 You could imagine a robot one day 331 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,519 providing the same companionship a dog might. 332 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,639 My dog would be a hard act to follow. 333 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,279 Yes, some people do form strong emotional attachments 334 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,399 with their dogs. Not like me and Seldom. He's... 335 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,999 Um, he passed on a couple of weeks ago. 336 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,799 It was actually at the funfair. 337 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,399 One minute, he was barking at the waltzers, the next minute, 338 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,519 he was, as I thought, asleep next to the ghost train, funnily enough. 339 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:47,639 But, no, he'd... Yeah. Yeah. 340 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,439 I'm so sorry to hear that. 341 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,959 Oh, yeah, he was a big fella. 342 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,159 No, but he showed a damn sight more sensitivity 343 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,679 than half the people on this planet. 344 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,279 Well, that's the thing with these moral dilemmas. I think it's... 345 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,039 He used to stand on his hind legs and put his paws on your shoulders 346 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,480 and then just dance round the room. Yeah. 347 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,000 I miss him. 348 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,240 He was a really, really good dog. 349 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,039 Well, the crew are about to leave, 350 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,759 giving me the chance to see how this thing performs as a domestic help. 351 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,319 Not that there's a vacancy. 352 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,359 Having embraced diversity, I now employ a housekeeper of colour 353 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,759 from the Philippines. 354 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,959 Like many BBC execs, I'm happy to play the BAME game. 355 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,879 She is a grafter, she does the work of three men 356 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,599 and her job is safe for now. 357 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,519 Well, it's lights out for me. 358 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:36,559 I've locked Unit One in the utility room, just to be on the safe side. 359 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,839 I mean, I know there are precautions, safeguards, 360 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,119 and... programmed to do no harm and suchlike but... 361 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,879 ...I just have this nagging feeling, deep down inside. 362 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,720 I mean, scientists are only humans. 363 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,640 What if they've missed something? 364 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,599 I put the distortion on myself, 365 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,679 as I'd recently watched the Blair Witch Project. 366 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,399 I've just been to the utility room to check on Unit One. 367 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,759 And I saw that he'd taken up residence in Seldom's old dog bed. 368 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,479 And at first, I was a bit put out. 369 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,119 I said, "Well, what the hell do you think you're playing at? 370 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,039 "You've only been here five minutes." 371 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,039 And he cocked his head. I don't know if you've seen him do that. 372 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,280 And I thought, "It's just a blimmin' dog bed." So I left him to it. 373 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,159 Well, it's the morning. 374 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,759 Last night, I decided eventually to watch a complete box set 375 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:35,279 of Judge John Deeds, which was outstanding as ever. 376 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,719 But I must have nodded off, because when I awoke, 377 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,119 I found that Unit One had decided to join me on the sofa. 378 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,999 Which is fine. 379 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,839 I was about to take Unit One back to the university 380 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,560 when I thought I'd stop off at a place I sometimes visit. 381 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,319 Because I think my initial dismissal of Unit One was perhaps 382 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,400 a little hasty. 383 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:03,919 Do I think there's a future in which man and machine can cooperate 384 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,279 and perhaps even find companionship? 385 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,160 Er, yes, I do actually. 386 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,199 Fascinating stuff. Yeah. 387 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,439 And quite the turnaround, really, to go from someone 388 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,999 who couldn't stand the idea of robots to... 389 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,479 I just... I-I just didn't like the thought of sharing my house 390 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,359 with something intelligent. 391 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,879 Mm. But I... Yes. But you've now written a book about it. 392 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,759 I have written a book. It's called Alan And The Robot Dog. 393 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,519 And the Robot Dog is lovely actually. 394 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,079 He's like a combination of David Cameron and Tony Blair. 395 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:38,279 A little bit entitled, but very affable and pragmatic. 396 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,599 Shouldn't that be dogmatic? 397 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,039 Oh, God... Dogmatic can be the baddie in the next book. 398 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,519 Hang on a minute, do I get any money for this? No, no, no. 399 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,519 We both thought of that at the same time. 400 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,679 Now, the Parthenon Marbles, known to many as the Elgin Marbles, 401 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:56,039 have been at the centre of a tug-of-war for nearly 200 years. 402 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,599 And now, a troupe of Greek teenagers is telling the story 403 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,599 through the medium of street dance. 404 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,839 I bopped along to take a look. 405 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,039 And we're off. 406 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,039 Your Royal Highness, may I approach? 407 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,719 If I may be so bold, ma'am, 408 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,919 I believe we have an associate in common. 409 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,839 Yes, Roger Stobbs. He supplies the Land Rovers to your estate, 410 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,159 and I believe you were kind enough to provide refreshments 411 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,399 on the occasion of his birthday. Yes, I do know Roger. 412 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,479 Yes, you know him and so do I. Yes, a capital fellow. 413 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,799 And one hopes the scurrilous charges that weigh heavy 414 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,599 upon his good name are brought to a speedy and just resolve. 415 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,719 Oh, dear. A speeding fine? 416 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,839 No, Ma'am, he battered a man in a pub toilet. 417 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,719 A most regrettable occurrence. 418 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,999 Although by all accounts, 419 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,439 the chap who took the hiding was giving it that. 420 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,719 And now allow me to introduce my co-presenter, Jennie Gresham. 421 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,439 This is me ma'am. Howard Cook. Your Royal Highness. The show's producer. 422 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,119 We've already met. Your fly's undone. 423 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,239 And if you cast your eyes heavenward, 424 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,439 you will see a wonderful array of lighting rigs. 425 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,279 Ma'am, we should take you to your seat. 426 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,360 I take my leave of you and walk backwards. 427 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,559 Why were you speaking Shakespearian? 428 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,159 I don't know, I couldn't stop. 429 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,599 How was Cornwall? 430 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,439 I think I may have soured things 431 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,639 when I banned her from meeting Princess Anne. 432 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,399 Does she seem annoyed about the Anne ban? 433 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,519 Oh, yes! You should see her. 434 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,199 A woman scorned. 435 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,479 Deleting you off her phone, 436 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,839 sending embarrassing pictures to the tabloids. 437 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,520 The lot. What are you talking about? Which pictures? 438 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,959 Wait, did they say it was pictures on a yacht? 439 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,319 Yeah, I think it was a yacht. Yeah. Five seconds. 440 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,800 This is ridiculous. Positions, please. 441 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,599 Stand by. 442 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,479 The Parthenon Marbles, it's sad, isn't it? 443 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,639 You know, even after all this time, 444 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,559 that Greece and Britain still can't settle their differences? 445 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,159 Well, yeah, well, I mean, 446 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,039 I guess that sometimes things get blown out of proportion, don't they? 447 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,479 Yeah. People jump to the wrong conclusions 448 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,159 when actually there is no problem. How do you mean? 449 00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:00,799 Well, around ten years ago, I agreed to appear in a photo shoot 450 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,719 to promote a brand of mid-range boatwear. 451 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,079 In the campaign, I was photographed on a yacht in the Mediterranean. 452 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,559 Some make-up was applied to create the impression of my being tanned. 453 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,279 Alan, I'm sure you don't need to explain... 454 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,319 No, no, no, please, this is before we can continue. 455 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,639 The make-up was applied but the stylist was heavy handed. 456 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,599 I expressed misgivings but was told that it would look fine on camera. 457 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,759 Simon, I've airdropped the images to you. Please load them. 458 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,039 Ultimately, the photos were never used, but were someone to find 459 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,519 the photos and view them through a modern perspective, 460 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:36,519 they may construe them as an attempt by me to mimic another ethnicity. 461 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,919 I wasn't. I didn't. 462 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,919 Take a look, there they are, while I... 463 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,519 I have done nothing wrong. 464 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,199 The brief was quite clear: 465 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,119 A seasoned, semi-professional yachtsman. 466 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,679 Nevertheless, I'm happy to apologise unreservedly, 467 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,679 if anyone might have felt that they had got themselves upset 468 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:01,239 because of something they mistakenly thought I might have intended. 469 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,399 I trust that will... Clear the decks. Yes. 470 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,159 I mean, the make-up was applied innocently by an apprentice, 471 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,519 not her fault. Her name is Cat Shears. 472 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,159 I've been a loyal and unrelenting supporter of blackface matters 473 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,279 and racial equality more generally. 474 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,119 Well, I'm sure that's allayed any concerns. 475 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:22,119 And the movement Alan was referring to is Black Lives Matter. 476 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:23,160 Oh, yeah! 477 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,159 And we're off. 478 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,919 So, Jennie if you'd head over the interview area, and Alan... 479 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,599 Just... I'll just freshen my breath. 480 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,919 Actually, mate, we're going to ask you to sit this one out. 481 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,119 Jennie's going to interview Princess Anne on her own. 482 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,399 OK. They just got a bit jittery. OK. 483 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,119 The business with the photos. OK. Sorry, mate. 484 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:42,160 OK. 485 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,120 And we're back in 5, 4... 486 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,719 And as Jennie processes towards the raised seating area 487 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,799 to convene with our distinguished guest, 488 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,359 it's my privilege to introduce one of the most exciting pieces 489 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,239 of television in the storied history of This Time. 490 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,359 Greater even than my summer's day bike ride through Oxford 491 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,679 on a tandem with Malala. 492 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,039 This is Jennie Gresham in conversation with 493 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,559 Her Royal Highness, Princess Royal, the Princess Anne. 494 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,959 Thank you, Alan. 495 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,119 Your Royal Highness, thank you so much for joining us. 496 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,200 It's an absolute honour to have you on the show... 497 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,479 ...thank you so much for giving us your precious, precious time. 498 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,440 She's doing well. She's doing well. 499 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,959 Using her arms a bit too much, like one of those inflatable 500 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,600 waving fingers they put in dealership forecourts. Mm. 501 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,560 That'll be nerves. Mm-mm. 502 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,279 Simon's a bit worried 503 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,119 he made a joke that went wrong. 504 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,119 Well, Simon's hit and miss. He knows that. 505 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:46,520 No, no, no, it was the thing about the photographs. 506 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,399 So... so that was a joke? 507 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,319 Those... those pictures hadn't come to light? 508 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,239 It was a bit of a ruse. 509 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,359 OK. OK, OK. 510 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:59,160 Don't worry. We'll talk about it tomorrow. 511 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:13,280 Now, everybody links you with horse racing... 512 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,400 ...I suppose the question is, do you still ride? Of course I still ride. 513 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:24,800 Oh, um... 514 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,239 ...something on your tie. 515 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,639 Oh! Just like your trick. What? 516 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,159 Ah! 517 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,679 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please. No. 518 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,919 We're still mates. Hit me back, hit me back. 519 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,639 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 520 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,439 They took Anne from me. They took Anne from me. 521 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,599 Fuck! 522 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,719 Your Royal Highness, it's been an absolute pleasure. 523 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,839 And we're back to you, Alan. 524 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,119 And there we have it. A brief but fascinating exchange 525 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,519 between Jennie Gresham and the Princess Royal. 526 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,319 Plenty to unpack. 527 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,719 We learned Her Royal Highness is, in her words, "very well" 528 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,199 and "pleased" that she could be here. 529 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,239 She went on to describe her duties as "varied", 530 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,079 and talked about her "affection" for her family. 531 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,999 Good, solid stuff. 532 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,079 Now, though, it's time to hear from you at home, 533 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,319 as we ask for your thoughts on what the future holds 534 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,519 for Britain's favourite family. 535 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,999 Of course, we've also been asking for your encounters 536 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,079 with royalty and don't forget to share your tips 537 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,239 on modern day etiquette. 538 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,599 Keep those coming in. 539 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,199 And tomorrow, should we scrap HS2? 540 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,039 Jesus Christ! 541 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,999 Well, we do need to hear viewers'... 542 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,199 Why? Why do we need to hear from the viewers? 543 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,879 Tell us what you think! Join the conversation! Get involved! 544 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,919 Share you views! 545 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,279 Is it snowing where you are? Do you like fireworks? 546 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,639 What's your favourite soup? Who gives a shit? 547 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,119 Ah, excuse me. Apologies for the language there. 548 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,639 Michael Gove said, "We've had enough of experts." 549 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,479 Do you know who I've had enough of? Idiots! 550 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,159 I'm not sure I'd call our audience idiots. 551 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,519 Look at the tweets, Jennie. 552 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,199 I mean, read the mail bag. Everyone at the BBC thinks it. 553 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,159 They never say it publicly, of course. But behind closed doors, 554 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,639 whispered in the corridors, that's where you hear the truth. 555 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,679 They think Countryfile is boring, they don't understand darts 556 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,759 and they don't really care about your opinion. 557 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,519 Ah, the BBC is committed to letting ordinary people have their say. 558 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,239 T-T-There's nothing in between. 559 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,519 It's either BBC FOUR live from the Hay-on-Wye Book Festival 560 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,679 or other people telling us they think dogs are better than cats. 561 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,919 You feel like throwing open your windows and saying, 562 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,639 I am hopping mad and I want something in the middle! 563 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,359 Are you finished? Julian Fellowes! 564 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,119 I don't like Julian Fellowes. 565 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,239 What's that got to do with your argument? Nothing. 566 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,799 I just don't like him. Well, I'm sure, Simon, 567 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,639 we have plenty of viewers getting in touch with their royal stories. 568 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,599 Well, actually we're getting people shouting Alan's slogan 569 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,999 from their windows and tweeting in to let us know. 570 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,399 Let's see, we've got Bournemouth, 571 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,679 "I'm hopping mad. I just want something in the middle." 572 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,239 Southend, "I'm hopping mad. I want something in the middle." 573 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,919 Same with Warrington, "I'm hopping mad. Something in the middle." 574 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,799 Hull... I've touched a nerve. Anything from London? 575 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,679 Nothing from London, no. But we're in London. Let's go and have a look. 576 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,679 Terry, come with me. Simon, do you want to come? 577 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,479 No. I'm sorry I clouted you. It's all right. 578 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,319 Everyone, go to your windows, open your windows and... 579 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,959 ...and just shout out at the top of your voice, 580 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,399 "I'm-I'm hopping mad and I want something in the middle!" 581 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,839 This way. Quick, follow me, Terry. 582 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,199 And there. 583 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,400 I can hear them now. Keep shouting! He's shouting. 584 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,119 Hey, you! Say that again. 585 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:33,399 I'm hopping mad! No, say the whole thing. 586 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,279 I'm hopping mad and I want something in the middle! 587 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,879 Right, did you get that? Cheers. Cheers! 588 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,199 I'm hopping mad and I want something in the middle! 589 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,599 They're all saying it. 590 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,759 A-ha! 591 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,999 Yeah, all right, whatever. Fucking idiot. 592 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,799 I want more snooker on the BBC! 593 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,759 Yeah, no, that's not going to happen. 594 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,559 Any... Anyone else hopping mad and just wants something in the middle? 595 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,199 Me! No, we can't count you twice. 596 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,159 Anyone else? Any more? 597 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,119 No? I mean, that's... That's three people. 598 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,279 They say for every person who complains, 599 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,559 there's another 20 who silently agree. 600 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,840 So, that's 60 people in this area at least. 601 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,199 Minimum! You roll that out across the country... 602 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,399 ...it's got to be a million! 603 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,519 You can't hear them. Hi, got your pass with you? 604 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,479 I-I don't have a pass. Can't let you in otherwise. 605 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,999 You just let the cameraman in, just then. Yeah, he's got a pass. 606 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,279 I can go into the BBC any time I like. 607 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,879 There... There are only three things I need to do, 608 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,159 in line with the founder of the BBC, Lord Reith, 609 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,719 you probably haven't heard of him... 610 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,559 Educate, inform and entertain. 611 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,960 And remember your pass. 612 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,800 All right, four things. Four things. 613 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,960 So can I go in? Er, no. 614 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,720 They won't let me in. 615 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,720 They won't let me back in the BBC. 70248

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