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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,519
This programme contains some
strong language and adult humour
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00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,399
Gather round, chaps and chapesses.
Princess Anne will enter the studio
3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,599
through the double doors
alongside her assistant.
4
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,599
Er, it... Flanked by her equerry.
Right, yeah.
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,759
She'll be introduced to Alan,
and Alan, I think
6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,919
you're going to make
introductions to the others?
7
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,079
Indeed, Howard, to select
members of the team, absolutely.
8
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:23,559
Now, the protocol is that you refer
to her as Your Royal Highness.
9
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,759
If I may, Howard?
Only in the first instance.
10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,599
Sorry? Your Royal Highness
in the first instance,
11
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,599
and then and thereafter refer to
her as ma'am, rhyming with jam,
12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,119
rather than ma'am, common mistake,
rhyming with...
13
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,519
Smarm. Thank you.
OK, so I think that was it.
14
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,159
Go make some magic.
Places, everyone.
15
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,119
Er, just a few more
bits and bobs from me.
16
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,759
Try not to crowd Her Royal Highness.
17
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:43,919
We're all excited.
18
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,079
Not all—Simon, you made your
republican feelings clear,
19
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,039
so if you'd recuse yourself from
the royal circumference, thank you.
20
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,479
Unless you've had a rethink? Nope!
21
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,359
OK, Simon is not
a supporter of the monarchy
22
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,279
and therefore will
not be a participant.
23
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,639
And I respect that.
24
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,319
Well, I don't respect it,
but there it is.
25
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,119
I just think that
an accident of birth...
26
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,759
Finally, I have
the This Time logo engraved
27
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,359
onto a smoked glass chalice,
which I'm sure will sit well
28
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,439
in the display case of such
a revered, regal jumping jockey.
29
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,119
She's a three-day eventer.
Is that the term? Many thanks.
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00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,479
Yeah, and it's not a glass chalice.
We had it engraved,
31
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,479
but it's a pewter tankard.
Titles. A tankard? Yeah.
32
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,119
I'm not presenting
a peasant's drinking vessel
33
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,879
to the future Queen of England...
34
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,640
...if there's a big accident!
35
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,519
My lords, ladies and gentlemen,
hang out the bunting.
36
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,759
Parp a fine fanfare.
Unfurl the red carpet.
37
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,559
Round up the beggars and the
vagrants and tell them to move on.
38
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,839
For today, we are
in the presence of royalty.
39
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,439
Welcome to a very special
edition of This Time.
40
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,239
A royal edition of This Time.
41
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,959
If I said to you,
"Name your favourite Anne,"
42
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,279
the answers would span
the spectrum from Hathaway...
43
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,919
Oh, yes, delightful.
44
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,000
...to Of Green Gables...
45
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,439
...Boleyn...
46
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,039
Crk! Ugh!
47
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,119
...Summers...
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00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,239
Cor!
49
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,280
...and Frank.
50
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,319
But to a generation of British men
and women, there is only one Anne
51
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,879
and that Anne is Her Royal Highness,
the Princess Royal, Princess Anne.
52
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,279
Who joins us in the studio
tonight for a rare live interview.
53
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,679
We'll be sitting down with her
later in the show.
54
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,280
But there's plenty more
still to come.
55
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,320
And we're off.
56
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,279
Hello. Did you enjoy Cornwall,
Mr Partridge?
57
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,320
Mm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
58
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,559
I woke up and you were gone.
59
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,759
Yes, I had a few errands
to attend to.
60
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,159
I think I explained in the note.
61
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,519
I got the train home.
And I could look out the window
62
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,359
and enjoy the memories
of the night before.
63
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,399
Yeah, as long as you remember to
change at Plymouth, otherwise you...
64
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,279
...you miss your connection. We
didn't miss our connection, did we?
65
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,359
All trying to be on our best
behaviour for the imminent arrival
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00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,800
of Her Royal Highness,
Princess Anne, the Princess Royal.
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00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,040
14th in line to the throne.
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,480
Really is a very long laugh.
69
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,159
Can I meet Anne? I've always wanted
to chat with her. We'd get on.
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00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,280
Absolutely not.
Under no circumstances.
71
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,679
Enjoyed yourself in Cornwall
with Madam?
72
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,079
It was very pleasant.
73
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,399
Yes, well, the cleaner phoned,
74
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,959
said she wanted paying extra.
75
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,719
Said it took two hours longer
than normal to clean.
76
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,760
Fine!
77
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What happened?
78
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,600
I don't want to talk about it.
79
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,319
What's going on with your hair?
80
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,839
Nothing.
81
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,599
Is that deliberate?
82
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,079
It's respectful.
83
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,479
Let's have a look at the back. Oh.
84
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,839
It looks like a series of cables
being fed into a junction box. Yeah.
85
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,319
Yeah. I like it.
86
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,360
And we're back in 5, 4...
87
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,479
All that still to come, a veritable
feast, fit for royalty.
88
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,519
And now, from princess to
court jester,
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00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,879
as we turn our attention to
Simon Denton at the digiwall,
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where, like a Buckingham Palace
balcony, we can look down and
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00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:41,199
see throngs of teeming well-wishers,
all of them itching for a gander.
92
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,599
Oh, I think there's a cream
for that. That's humour.
93
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,999
What are we talking about today?
94
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,439
Well, you suggested we ask for
viewers' tips on correct etiquette,
95
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,599
because I know you are
a stickler for good manners.
96
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,639
Depends on the occasion.
A formal dinner, yes,
97
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,959
we will pass the port to the left.
98
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,599
But you know, we don't banish women
to the drawing room any more.
99
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,639
God!
100
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,599
But any woman with a degree, more
than welcome to stay and chat.
101
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,239
You do have to move with the times.
You do, indeed.
102
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,719
This is from Helen in Leeds,
who says,
103
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,919
"We come from a family
of proud curtsiers,
104
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,759
"and always curtsy Mother and Father
before we enter the house.
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00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,799
"The neighbours find it a bit odd,
but it's nothing to do with them."
106
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,719
I curtsied once,
when I had whiplash.
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00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,439
I was unable to bow.
108
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,559
I had no option
but to cast my eyes downwards,
109
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,039
tug the sides of my trousers,
and formed a very small curtsy.
110
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,759
It was only to the mayor of Norwich,
but I know he appreciated it.
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00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,399
Another one here,
from Rosemary in Bath,
112
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,359
hopefully not Rosemary
in the bath.
113
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,279
Well, you-you wouldn't put rosemary
in the bath. No, you would not.
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00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,559
Unless you were trying to
make yourself into a stock.
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00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,999
You could be in the bath with
rosemary, ginger and saffron.
116
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,359
Sounds like my kind of bath.
117
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,400
And Basil. No men!
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00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,079
Rosemary in Bath says,
"What is the correct etiquette
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00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,119
"for the amount of make-up
an unmarried woman should wear?"
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00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,359
Good question. I mean, some of
the women you see, it's a bit much.
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00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,599
That girl in Carphone Warehouse,
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foundation caked on
like brown marzipan.
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00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,199
Yeah, and eyebrows, with those
eyebrows like an ancient Egyptian.
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00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,799
I think she thought
she was Nefertiti.
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00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,279
To be fair, she's probably been
a mummy since she was about 15.
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00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,879
Jennie?
127
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:09,559
Now, with full-time royals
performing 3,900 engagements
128
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,039
last year, they certainly get about.
129
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,959
But how many of us
have actually clapped eyes on one?
130
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,399
I've met a fair few. Have you?
131
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,359
Yes, be-bearded Prince Michael
and Princess Michael of Kent,
132
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:23,119
the flame-haired duchess,
Sarah Ferguson of York.
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00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,719
And Edward.
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00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,440
But among the general public,
who's ever seen a royal?
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00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,920
Oh, in real life?
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00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,240
Anyone else? Come on, think.
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00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,039
All right.
138
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,359
So, tell us,
which royal have you seen?
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00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,839
Princess Diana, 1995.
140
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,039
I was painting a gym
and she walked past and I said,
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00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,759
Oh, um... you've dropped your towel.
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00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,879
So I gave it to her and
she said, "Oh, cheers, pet."
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I said, No problem.
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00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,599
Hang on, she said, Cheers, pet?
145
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,799
Aye. Why would Princess Diana
say Cheers, pet?
146
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,279
Because I picked up her towel.
Not the sentiment, the words.
147
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,119
Why would a woman from
Sandringham say pet?
148
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,279
Well, you'd have to ask her.
Well, we can't.
149
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,919
Well, maybe she was trying
to fit in with the locals.
150
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,679
Why, where were you? Stockton.
151
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,479
That wasn't Diana.
How do you know?
152
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,799
Well, how do you know it was?
Because I picked up her towel.
153
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,079
But it could have been anyone.
154
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,119
No, it had her initials on it.
D L.
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00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,799
Diana Lady.
156
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,399
Or David Lloyd.
157
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,839
No, I-I said to her,
Are you Princess Diane?
158
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,639
and she said, "Aye."
159
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,079
Did she say Yes,
Or did she say Aye?
160
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,919
Aye. There was another time,
I met a queen.
161
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,839
Right, wait...
Wait do you mean THE Queen?
162
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,199
Actually, it doesn't matter.
163
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,039
Who gave you that tooth?
Oh, me mate, Michael.
164
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,039
Well, thank you once again
to our studio audience.
165
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,079
And time now for some music.
166
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,679
We asked the under-eights
to pick up their recorders
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00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,639
and play along to
the National Anthem.
168
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,799
Put together, here's how it sounds.
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00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,920
It's not good.
And we're off.
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00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,439
All right? Yeah. Yeah.
171
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,679
I know you were hoping to do
the interview on your own.
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00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,159
Er... Oh, do you mean
with Princess Anne?
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00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,480
Yeah. Nah! God, no...
174
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,679
No, I mean, yes, this morning,
I was a bit confused
175
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,319
about why they were
having you do it with me.
176
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,199
Which is why I threw
the cup at the wall.
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00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,359
Right.
178
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,799
Er, but no, pleased for you.
179
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,039
I just wanted to make sure.
180
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,119
I wouldn't want you thinking
that they brought me in
181
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,799
because you were too...
182
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,239
What? A has-been? No. No.
183
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,999
Yesterday's man. No.
184
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,479
Dinosaur? No, because they thought
you were too long in the tooth.
185
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,999
Right, well that's the same
thing as the things I said,
186
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,119
but... in a different way.
Because it's not.
187
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,799
Jennie, let me tell you something,
188
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,199
if I was a woman in your situation,
in the current gender climate,
189
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,319
I would be milking this
for all it's worth.
190
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,159
In fact, get yourself
on that milking stool
191
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,879
and yank those teats
until that udder is so empty,
192
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,359
it looks like a deployed air bag.
193
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,919
Does that make sense?
194
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,200
That's what I've been doing.
195
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,239
Oh, OK, well, good, then. Good.
196
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,960
And we're back in 5, 4...
197
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,879
Now, it's hard to think
of a more enduring union
198
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,399
than that of the British people
and the royal family.
199
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,199
But how and why has
the relationship stayed so strong?
200
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,079
To give a historical perspective,
201
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,559
I'd like to introduce a man
I consider one of the finest
202
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:17,479
royal correspondents, nay, finest
journalists, in England. Mm.
203
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,999
A man I'm privileged
to call a friend.
204
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,199
Joining us via video call from
his home in, appropriately enough,
205
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,399
King's Lynn... You couldn't
make it up. ...Hugh Bevell.
206
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,599
Good evening. Hello.
207
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,519
Now, Hugh, you have been my
go-to man on British royal history
208
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,119
ever since we first met.
Many moons ago.
209
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,799
You were manning a cider stall
210
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,959
at a Conservative Party
summer fundraiser.
211
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,119
I... tend not to declare
my political leanings.
212
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,879
But you're a royal
correspondent, Hugh.
213
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,999
You know, I can't imagine
Nicholas Witchell or James Whitaker
214
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,479
at a TUC conference,
215
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,239
unless there's a very good buffet.
216
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,279
Now, Hugh, you've been
a royal correspondent
217
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,199
for Radio Norwich, North Norfolk
Digital and Al Jazeera.
218
00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,159
And you now write books on Britain's
relationship with the monarchy.
219
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,719
And you argue that Britain
is at its strongest
220
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,119
when the royal family
is at its strongest.
221
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,439
Well, when the monarchy is robust,
222
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,759
we see Britain at its finest
in science, commerce, even art.
223
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,799
I often look at Shakespeare's
passage in Antony And Cleopatra,
224
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,439
a clever paean to
Queen Elizabeth herself,
225
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,039
which I'd like to read, if I may.
226
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,800
Oh, please do. Yeah. Do, Hugh, do.
227
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,600
"For her own person,
it beggared all description.
228
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:31,399
"She did lie in her pavilion,
cloth of gold, of tissue..."
229
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,439
Hugh? "...o'er-picturing
that Venus where we see
230
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,679
"the fancy outwork nature.
231
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,039
"On each side her
stood pretty dimpled boys..."
232
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,360
Hugh? "...like smiling cupids.
And what they undid, did."
233
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,479
Oh, how lovely!
Really lovely and beautifully read.
234
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,999
Yeah. It's as if... Yeah, do you
want to just pop the book back...
235
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,999
It's as if strong leadership
allows Britain to find its voice,
236
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,279
to-to unlock its greatness.
...exactly where it was?
237
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,559
And how long do you think
the partnership will hold?
238
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,719
Because it's been a little
fractious of late.
239
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,319
Or to put it another way,
240
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,039
are we starting to see
the cracks in the establishment?
241
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,679
Well, I-I'm not sure
I'd go that far.
242
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,799
Just one crack, then,
because I suppose the decision...
243
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,080
It's not theirs, it's ours.
244
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,999
Pardon?
You've got your arse out, mate.
245
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,839
We can see it in the mirror.
246
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,439
Uh, can I quickly mention my...? No.
247
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,919
Oh, how peculiar! The funny fellow.
Apologies. Isn't he?
248
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,639
Yeah, he's... You know, to be fair,
249
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,319
when it comes to royal history,
there is no-one to touch him.
250
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,400
But, er, in his personal life, yeah,
he's been struggling. Yeah. Mm.
251
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,559
Robots are nothing new.
252
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,679
Indeed, the simple fact
is that the first robot,
253
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,639
and this is a very personal opinion,
was the digital watch.
254
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,679
But are we really ready
for robots in our homes?
255
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,999
Whatever we ask of them,
a robot always says, Yes,
256
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,199
like an intimidated employee or
a hairdresser who's not listening.
257
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,680
But what happens the day
the robot says, No?
258
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,399
I'm outside the University
of West Sussex
259
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,439
and in their computer science
department,
260
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,039
they're developing some of
the most advanced robotics anywhere
261
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,760
outside of America and China
and Germany and Japan.
262
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,799
Also Singapore.
263
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,999
Love these guys.
264
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,080
Electric lady.
265
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,719
Nice.
266
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,679
This droid, what's it capable of?
267
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,319
That's just a coffee machine.
268
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,639
Got it. Is this a coffee machine?
269
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,880
No. Could be.
270
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,480
It doesn't make coffee.
271
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,199
So this is the unit here.
272
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,999
It's a fully electronic,
talk-controlled quadruped.
273
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,639
We foresee a lot of uses in
the industrial cleaning sector
274
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,359
as well as around the home.
275
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,199
Yeah. Quite a noisy little...
276
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,399
I want to say chap,
not quite sure what to call it.
277
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,039
Her nickname is Lady.
278
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,159
Yeah, I don't really do nicknames.
279
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,160
Can you switch it off, please?
280
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,079
I asked you to turn it off, please.
281
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,560
Sorry, love. Oh.
282
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,119
I've got to say,
I remain something of a sceptic.
283
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,599
Call me a Luddite,
I don't even have a Teasmade,
284
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,199
let alone a computerised Japanese
toilet like Jonathan Ross.
285
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,639
I've thrown a heavy towel
over Alexa.
286
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,159
Nevertheless, the nerds here
have allowed me to take
287
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,719
this robot dog home.
288
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,319
Its name is Unit One.
289
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,360
Not Lady.
290
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,959
First I wanted to put it through
its paces and, with four legs
291
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:41,159
powered by four servo motors, it's
a robot with as much bite as bark.
292
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,839
Not the quietest droid, but
with a top speed of a nifty six,
293
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,559
it's quick enough to outrun
anyone with a mobility issue.
294
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,359
But are we ready for robots?
295
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,159
Could you trust this face?
296
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,879
Look at it.
The idea of robotics isn't new.
297
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,959
Aristotle wrote about automata
replacing slavery in 322 BC.
298
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,119
That's three centuries
before Christ.
299
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,200
Allow me to put that in context.
300
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,639
Though you just did.
301
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,199
Well, and then there was Buddhist
scholar Daosheng, who imagined
302
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,999
metal humanoid automata
that could recite sacred texts.
303
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,959
So the appearance of
being intelligent
304
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,719
but actually, just
the ability to read out loud.
305
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,079
Precisely. Yeah. Huw Edwards.
306
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,519
But what if doing no harm
involves moral ambiguity?
307
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:25,919
Take self-driving cars. What if
swerving to avoid hitting someone
308
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,399
on the road involves mounting
the kerb and hitting someone else?
309
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,839
How does the robot decide
whom to harm and whom to save?
310
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,319
Good use of the word whom.
311
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,759
But it is a dilemma if a... robot
car was hurtling towards
312
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,799
a pregnant woman pushing a pram.
313
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,079
Of course, it would
swerve to avoid her,
314
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,199
even if it meant hitting
another pedestrian.
315
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,879
But what if that pedestrian
was a senior politician,
316
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,559
like Grant Shapps?
317
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,759
Now you've put that robot
in an impossible situation.
318
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,359
Well, there's also the issue
of automatons serving us
319
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,199
in a range of different ways.
320
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,239
Some of them in perhaps
more intimate ways.
321
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,160
Do you mean sex robots?
322
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,519
Well, yes. Yeah, that's weird
323
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,559
cos I don't think I've
thought about that before.
324
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,599
Do you think that would be
all right, then, to do that?
325
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,599
Well, it's a question
that's never been addressed.
326
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,719
Cos they could be for women too.
327
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,279
Just be a case of
adapting an existing unit.
328
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,399
But perhaps a more complex issue
329
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,879
is how to manage
an emotional connection.
330
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,439
You could imagine a robot one day
331
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,519
providing the same
companionship a dog might.
332
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,639
My dog would be
a hard act to follow.
333
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,279
Yes, some people do form
strong emotional attachments
334
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,399
with their dogs.
Not like me and Seldom. He's...
335
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,999
Um, he passed on
a couple of weeks ago.
336
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,799
It was actually at the funfair.
337
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,399
One minute, he was barking
at the waltzers, the next minute,
338
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,519
he was, as I thought, asleep next
to the ghost train, funnily enough.
339
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:47,639
But, no, he'd... Yeah. Yeah.
340
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,439
I'm so sorry to hear that.
341
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,959
Oh, yeah, he was a big fella.
342
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,159
No, but he showed
a damn sight more sensitivity
343
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,679
than half the people on this planet.
344
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,279
Well, that's the thing with these
moral dilemmas. I think it's...
345
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,039
He used to stand on his hind legs
and put his paws on your shoulders
346
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,480
and then just dance
round the room. Yeah.
347
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,000
I miss him.
348
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,240
He was a really, really good dog.
349
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,039
Well, the crew are about to leave,
350
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,759
giving me the chance to see how this
thing performs as a domestic help.
351
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,319
Not that there's a vacancy.
352
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,359
Having embraced diversity, I now
employ a housekeeper of colour
353
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,759
from the Philippines.
354
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,959
Like many BBC execs,
I'm happy to play the BAME game.
355
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,879
She is a grafter,
she does the work of three men
356
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,599
and her job is safe for now.
357
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,519
Well, it's lights out for me.
358
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:36,559
I've locked Unit One in the utility
room, just to be on the safe side.
359
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,839
I mean, I know there are
precautions, safeguards,
360
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,119
and... programmed to
do no harm and suchlike but...
361
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,879
...I just have this nagging feeling,
deep down inside.
362
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,720
I mean, scientists are only humans.
363
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,640
What if they've missed something?
364
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,599
I put the distortion on myself,
365
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,679
as I'd recently watched
the Blair Witch Project.
366
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,399
I've just been to the utility room
to check on Unit One.
367
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,759
And I saw that he'd taken up
residence in Seldom's old dog bed.
368
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,479
And at first, I was a bit put out.
369
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,119
I said, "Well, what the hell
do you think you're playing at?
370
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,039
"You've only been here
five minutes."
371
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,039
And he cocked his head. I don't
know if you've seen him do that.
372
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,280
And I thought, "It's just a blimmin'
dog bed." So I left him to it.
373
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,159
Well, it's the morning.
374
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,759
Last night, I decided eventually
to watch a complete box set
375
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:35,279
of Judge John Deeds,
which was outstanding as ever.
376
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,719
But I must have nodded off,
because when I awoke,
377
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,119
I found that Unit One had
decided to join me on the sofa.
378
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,999
Which is fine.
379
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,839
I was about to take Unit One
back to the university
380
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,560
when I thought I'd stop off
at a place I sometimes visit.
381
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,319
Because I think my initial
dismissal of Unit One was perhaps
382
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,400
a little hasty.
383
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:03,919
Do I think there's a future in
which man and machine can cooperate
384
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,279
and perhaps even find companionship?
385
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,160
Er, yes, I do actually.
386
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,199
Fascinating stuff. Yeah.
387
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,439
And quite the turnaround,
really, to go from someone
388
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,999
who couldn't stand
the idea of robots to...
389
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,479
I just... I-I just didn't like
the thought of sharing my house
390
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,359
with something intelligent.
391
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,879
Mm. But I... Yes. But you've
now written a book about it.
392
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,759
I have written a book.
It's called Alan And The Robot Dog.
393
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,519
And the Robot Dog
is lovely actually.
394
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,079
He's like a combination of
David Cameron and Tony Blair.
395
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:38,279
A little bit entitled,
but very affable and pragmatic.
396
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,599
Shouldn't that be dogmatic?
397
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,039
Oh, God... Dogmatic can be
the baddie in the next book.
398
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,519
Hang on a minute, do I get
any money for this? No, no, no.
399
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,519
We both thought of
that at the same time.
400
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,679
Now, the Parthenon Marbles,
known to many as the Elgin Marbles,
401
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:56,039
have been at the centre of
a tug-of-war for nearly 200 years.
402
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,599
And now, a troupe of Greek
teenagers is telling the story
403
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,599
through the medium of street dance.
404
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,839
I bopped along to take a look.
405
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,039
And we're off.
406
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,039
Your Royal Highness, may I approach?
407
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,719
If I may be so bold, ma'am,
408
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,919
I believe we have
an associate in common.
409
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,839
Yes, Roger Stobbs. He supplies
the Land Rovers to your estate,
410
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,159
and I believe you were kind
enough to provide refreshments
411
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,399
on the occasion of his birthday.
Yes, I do know Roger.
412
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,479
Yes, you know him and so do I.
Yes, a capital fellow.
413
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,799
And one hopes the scurrilous
charges that weigh heavy
414
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,599
upon his good name are brought
to a speedy and just resolve.
415
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,719
Oh, dear. A speeding fine?
416
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,839
No, Ma'am, he battered
a man in a pub toilet.
417
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,719
A most regrettable occurrence.
418
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,999
Although by all accounts,
419
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,439
the chap who took the hiding
was giving it that.
420
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,719
And now allow me to introduce
my co-presenter, Jennie Gresham.
421
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,439
This is me ma'am. Howard Cook. Your
Royal Highness. The show's producer.
422
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,119
We've already met.
Your fly's undone.
423
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,239
And if you cast your
eyes heavenward,
424
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,439
you will see a wonderful
array of lighting rigs.
425
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,279
Ma'am, we should take you
to your seat.
426
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,360
I take my leave of you
and walk backwards.
427
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,559
Why were you speaking Shakespearian?
428
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,159
I don't know, I couldn't stop.
429
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,599
How was Cornwall?
430
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,439
I think I may have soured things
431
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,639
when I banned her from
meeting Princess Anne.
432
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,399
Does she seem annoyed
about the Anne ban?
433
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,519
Oh, yes! You should see her.
434
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,199
A woman scorned.
435
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,479
Deleting you off her phone,
436
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,839
sending embarrassing
pictures to the tabloids.
437
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,520
The lot. What are you talking
about? Which pictures?
438
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,959
Wait, did they say it was
pictures on a yacht?
439
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,319
Yeah, I think it was a yacht. Yeah.
Five seconds.
440
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,800
This is ridiculous.
Positions, please.
441
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,599
Stand by.
442
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,479
The Parthenon Marbles,
it's sad, isn't it?
443
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,639
You know, even after all this time,
444
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,559
that Greece and Britain still
can't settle their differences?
445
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,159
Well, yeah, well, I mean,
446
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,039
I guess that sometimes things get
blown out of proportion, don't they?
447
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,479
Yeah. People jump to
the wrong conclusions
448
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,159
when actually there is no problem.
How do you mean?
449
00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:00,799
Well, around ten years ago, I
agreed to appear in a photo shoot
450
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,719
to promote a brand
of mid-range boatwear.
451
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,079
In the campaign, I was photographed
on a yacht in the Mediterranean.
452
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,559
Some make-up was applied to create
the impression of my being tanned.
453
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,279
Alan, I'm sure you
don't need to explain...
454
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,319
No, no, no, please, this
is before we can continue.
455
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,639
The make-up was applied but
the stylist was heavy handed.
456
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,599
I expressed misgivings but was told
that it would look fine on camera.
457
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,759
Simon, I've airdropped
the images to you. Please load them.
458
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,039
Ultimately, the photos were never
used, but were someone to find
459
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,519
the photos and view them
through a modern perspective,
460
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:36,519
they may construe them as an attempt
by me to mimic another ethnicity.
461
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,919
I wasn't. I didn't.
462
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,919
Take a look, there they are,
while I...
463
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,519
I have done nothing wrong.
464
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,199
The brief was quite clear:
465
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,119
A seasoned,
semi-professional yachtsman.
466
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,679
Nevertheless, I'm happy
to apologise unreservedly,
467
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,679
if anyone might have felt that
they had got themselves upset
468
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:01,239
because of something they mistakenly
thought I might have intended.
469
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,399
I trust that will...
Clear the decks. Yes.
470
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,159
I mean, the make-up was
applied innocently by an apprentice,
471
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,519
not her fault.
Her name is Cat Shears.
472
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,159
I've been a loyal and unrelenting
supporter of blackface matters
473
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,279
and racial equality more generally.
474
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,119
Well, I'm sure that's
allayed any concerns.
475
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:22,119
And the movement Alan was
referring to is Black Lives Matter.
476
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:23,160
Oh, yeah!
477
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,159
And we're off.
478
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,919
So, Jennie if you'd head over
the interview area, and Alan...
479
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,599
Just...
I'll just freshen my breath.
480
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,919
Actually, mate, we're going to
ask you to sit this one out.
481
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,119
Jennie's going to interview
Princess Anne on her own.
482
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,399
OK. They just got a bit jittery.
OK.
483
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,119
The business with the photos.
OK. Sorry, mate.
484
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:42,160
OK.
485
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,120
And we're back in 5, 4...
486
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,719
And as Jennie processes
towards the raised seating area
487
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,799
to convene with our
distinguished guest,
488
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,359
it's my privilege to introduce
one of the most exciting pieces
489
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,239
of television in the storied
history of This Time.
490
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,359
Greater even than my summer's day
bike ride through Oxford
491
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,679
on a tandem with Malala.
492
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,039
This is Jennie Gresham
in conversation with
493
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,559
Her Royal Highness, Princess Royal,
the Princess Anne.
494
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,959
Thank you, Alan.
495
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,119
Your Royal Highness, thank you
so much for joining us.
496
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,200
It's an absolute honour to
have you on the show...
497
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,479
...thank you so much for giving us
your precious, precious time.
498
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,440
She's doing well. She's doing well.
499
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,959
Using her arms a bit too much,
like one of those inflatable
500
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,600
waving fingers they put in
dealership forecourts. Mm.
501
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,560
That'll be nerves. Mm-mm.
502
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,279
Simon's a bit worried
503
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,119
he made a joke that went wrong.
504
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,119
Well, Simon's hit and miss.
He knows that.
505
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:46,520
No, no, no, it was the thing
about the photographs.
506
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,399
So... so that was a joke?
507
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,319
Those... those pictures
hadn't come to light?
508
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,239
It was a bit of a ruse.
509
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,359
OK. OK, OK.
510
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:59,160
Don't worry.
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
511
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:13,280
Now, everybody links you
with horse racing...
512
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,400
...I suppose the question is, do you
still ride? Of course I still ride.
513
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:24,800
Oh, um...
514
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,239
...something on your tie.
515
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,639
Oh! Just like your trick. What?
516
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,159
Ah!
517
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,679
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Please, please. No.
518
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,919
We're still mates.
Hit me back, hit me back.
519
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,639
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
520
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,439
They took Anne from me.
They took Anne from me.
521
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,599
Fuck!
522
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,719
Your Royal Highness,
it's been an absolute pleasure.
523
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,839
And we're back to you, Alan.
524
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,119
And there we have it.
A brief but fascinating exchange
525
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,519
between Jennie Gresham
and the Princess Royal.
526
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,319
Plenty to unpack.
527
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,719
We learned Her Royal Highness is,
in her words, "very well"
528
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,199
and "pleased"
that she could be here.
529
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,239
She went on to describe
her duties as "varied",
530
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,079
and talked about her
"affection" for her family.
531
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,999
Good, solid stuff.
532
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,079
Now, though, it's time
to hear from you at home,
533
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,319
as we ask for your thoughts
on what the future holds
534
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,519
for Britain's favourite family.
535
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,999
Of course, we've also been
asking for your encounters
536
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,079
with royalty and don't
forget to share your tips
537
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,239
on modern day etiquette.
538
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,599
Keep those coming in.
539
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,199
And tomorrow, should we scrap HS2?
540
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,039
Jesus Christ!
541
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,999
Well, we do need to hear viewers'...
542
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,199
Why? Why do we need to
hear from the viewers?
543
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,879
Tell us what you think! Join
the conversation! Get involved!
544
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,919
Share you views!
545
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,279
Is it snowing where you are?
Do you like fireworks?
546
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,639
What's your favourite soup?
Who gives a shit?
547
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,119
Ah, excuse me.
Apologies for the language there.
548
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,639
Michael Gove said,
"We've had enough of experts."
549
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,479
Do you know who I've
had enough of? Idiots!
550
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,159
I'm not sure I'd call
our audience idiots.
551
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,519
Look at the tweets, Jennie.
552
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,199
I mean, read the mail bag.
Everyone at the BBC thinks it.
553
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,159
They never say it publicly,
of course. But behind closed doors,
554
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,639
whispered in the corridors,
that's where you hear the truth.
555
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,679
They think Countryfile is boring,
they don't understand darts
556
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,759
and they don't really
care about your opinion.
557
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,519
Ah, the BBC is committed to letting
ordinary people have their say.
558
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,239
T-T-There's nothing in between.
559
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,519
It's either BBC FOUR live
from the Hay-on-Wye Book Festival
560
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,679
or other people telling us they
think dogs are better than cats.
561
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,919
You feel like throwing
open your windows and saying,
562
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,639
I am hopping mad and I want
something in the middle!
563
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,359
Are you finished? Julian Fellowes!
564
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,119
I don't like Julian Fellowes.
565
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,239
What's that got to do
with your argument? Nothing.
566
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,799
I just don't like him.
Well, I'm sure, Simon,
567
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,639
we have plenty of viewers getting
in touch with their royal stories.
568
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,599
Well, actually we're getting
people shouting Alan's slogan
569
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,999
from their windows and
tweeting in to let us know.
570
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,399
Let's see, we've got Bournemouth,
571
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,679
"I'm hopping mad. I just want
something in the middle."
572
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,239
Southend, "I'm hopping mad.
I want something in the middle."
573
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,919
Same with Warrington, "I'm hopping
mad. Something in the middle."
574
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,799
Hull... I've touched a nerve.
Anything from London?
575
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,679
Nothing from London, no. But we're
in London. Let's go and have a look.
576
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,679
Terry, come with me.
Simon, do you want to come?
577
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,479
No. I'm sorry I clouted you.
It's all right.
578
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,319
Everyone, go to your windows,
open your windows and...
579
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,959
...and just shout out
at the top of your voice,
580
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,399
"I'm-I'm hopping mad and
I want something in the middle!"
581
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,839
This way. Quick, follow me, Terry.
582
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,199
And there.
583
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,400
I can hear them now.
Keep shouting! He's shouting.
584
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,119
Hey, you! Say that again.
585
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:33,399
I'm hopping mad!
No, say the whole thing.
586
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,279
I'm hopping mad and
I want something in the middle!
587
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,879
Right, did you get that?
Cheers. Cheers!
588
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,199
I'm hopping mad and
I want something in the middle!
589
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,599
They're all saying it.
590
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,759
A-ha!
591
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,999
Yeah, all right, whatever.
Fucking idiot.
592
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,799
I want more snooker on the BBC!
593
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,759
Yeah, no, that's not
going to happen.
594
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,559
Any... Anyone else hopping mad and
just wants something in the middle?
595
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,199
Me!
No, we can't count you twice.
596
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,159
Anyone else? Any more?
597
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,119
No? I mean, that's...
That's three people.
598
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,279
They say for every person
who complains,
599
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,559
there's another 20
who silently agree.
600
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,840
So, that's 60 people
in this area at least.
601
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,199
Minimum! You roll that out
across the country...
602
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,399
...it's got to be a million!
603
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,519
You can't hear them.
Hi, got your pass with you?
604
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,479
I-I don't have a pass.
Can't let you in otherwise.
605
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,999
You just let the cameraman in,
just then. Yeah, he's got a pass.
606
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,279
I can go into the BBC
any time I like.
607
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,879
There... There are only
three things I need to do,
608
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,159
in line with the founder
of the BBC, Lord Reith,
609
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,719
you probably
haven't heard of him...
610
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,559
Educate, inform and entertain.
611
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,960
And remember your pass.
612
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,800
All right, four things. Four things.
613
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,960
So can I go in? Er, no.
614
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,720
They won't let me in.
615
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,720
They won't let me back in the BBC.
70248
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