All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s08e19 Cliff and Theo Come Clean

you

What are you doing out here?

Oh, I'm just taking some topsoil.

You're taking our dirt?

That is not for me. See, we're having a
plant sale at the center.

Consider it a donation. Mom did.

I don't understand why you have to come
here for everything.

and the center.

I know that there's got to be 120 empty
lots.

You could have done dirt. Why here?

Dad, I can't go around stealing public
property.

Come on, what's a bag of dirt?

Okay. Go ahead, man.

Take it all and dig a hole deep enough
that you can just throw me right on in.

Take it.

And be my guest. Tell the people at the
Senate, donate it by your father.

Well, Dad, okay, figure it. I think I
have some news that might bring you a

little bit of comfort.

What? Well, you remember the Tartan
Company.

Well, they've been pressuring me to give
them an answer about the job offer.

Yeah, yeah, big move.

San Francisco. Well, I'm turning the job
down.

I'm going to go to grad school like I
planned, and I'm going to continue

volunteering at the community center.

You're not going?

No.

Claire!

He's not going!

But, I mean, you're staying, right?

Yes, I'm staying. Well, of course, you
know, I mean, I would have been just as

happy if you were going to go. Of
course. But you're staying. Yes.

And you're staying in the city.

Not in this house.

No, no, not in the house. Oh, well,
then, in that case, then... This

is on me.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Are you ready?

Ready for what?

Dr. Huxtable, don't you remember?

We're making a picture book about you
for school.

Oh, that's right. It's the life story of
a parent or guardian.

Not the whole life story.

Just what were you like at age six?

You. What did you look like?

What did I look like?

I was handsome.

Well, not really handsome. Sort of
dashing.

Dashing? What does that mean? Dashing is
handsome only faster.

What are you drawing? What is that?

Pardon me. Is this supposed to be me?

Then this is the best you can do is
draw?

Now, you're going to have to do better
than this, man.

Dr. Huxtable, mine is the best drawer in
my class.

Well, you got some sad drawers in there.

Now, what else can you draw?

Now you're cooking because those three
things happen to be the most important

things in my life when I was that age.

That's great.

Tell us about your bike.

Well, I named the bike Bob.

Bob the bike.

Did you ride fast?

Fast?

Man, let me tell you fast.

I rode so fast that...

People in the neighborhood would say,
there goes Bob and Cliff.

Even if they didn't see me, whenever a
wind came up, they'd say, that must be

Bob and Cliff.

I rode so fast, the police said, Cliff,
we're going to have to

create a special lane for you.

And henceforth came what is known in
America today as the bike.

And the Smithsonian.

things that I have done.

For instance, when I was a child, I
invented what is called today,

Repet.

Now, in the beginning, it was called
Heathcliff.

I invented that.

Now, you start to write about it. Think
about those things.

You're not talking to an ordinary,

Uh, um, human being.

Hey, hello, honey. How are you?
Heathcliff. All right, you heard her.

break.

This is Huxtable.

If you were doing a book about somebody
when he was little and you don't believe

what he says, what do you do?

Uh, you go to another source.

What's a source?

A source is someone who knows that
person very well.

That would be you.

No, that would be someone who knew that
person when that person was a child.

I mean, a little boy.

I think Grandpa Huxtable will know him.
Let's call and ask him.

And then we'll take a heathcliff.

Oh, Lord.

with flowers.

What?

Are you and Rudy still together?

Yes, Leticia. Like I told you last week,
the week before, and the week before

last, Rudy is still my girlfriend.

Oh,

snap. This is unbelievable.

What's that?

Money, man. There must be at least $500.

Hey,

that's $600.

Rahim was the one who found it. What he
does with it is his decision.

Well, I'm out of here.

Rahim, Rahim, Rahim, I'm sure you would
like to discuss with us, maybe, what

you're going to do with it. What's to
discuss? Except that fate has found

at last.

Well, Rahim, the money obviously belongs
to someone. Yeah, those look like

initials on that clip.

Y -E -Z.

No, no, Cece, those aren't initials.
It's a message from the heavens.

See, I looked up and suddenly prayed.

Is this money really for me?

And the answer came thundering down,
yes, Rahim, yes.

Wait a minute.

You're not really going to keep the
money.

Nah, see, I'm not going to keep it.

I'm going to give it to my father.

It'll make up for some of the money he
lost when he got laid off.

Yo, but what about that man?

I see that we have a difference of
opinions here, just a few. But we have

fact, right?

$600. Now, maybe Rahim wouldn't mind a
little input.

From his friends about what to do with
this money here?

Okay, I had just a few opinions.

I think he should keep it. Thanks for
the input.

Okay,

Stanley, you say he should keep it.
Yeah.

Let's get this down, all right?

Louise, help me with the blackboard. Oh,
no, come on, man, not the blackboard.

Yeah, the blackboard. It's the first
time you've never had one such thing

Okay.

You say you should keep it. Why do you
think Rahim should keep the money? Well,

I say it's part of the lost money pool.

What? That's right. The lost money pool.

See, when we lose money, we're making
deposits into the pool. And when we find

money, we're making a withdrawal.

See, Rahim here was swimming in the deep
end of the pool when the money floated

right into his little hands.

Right, my partner?

Stanley, that's pathetic.

You weren't like this three months ago
before you met Rudy.

family get into this?

Well, it may just be a coincidence, but
Stanley is not the man I thought he was.

Why should he think about me?

Okay, Leticia, you think we should find
the owner, right?

Yeah. Okay.

I agree.

That money could belong to some poor old
lady with 13 cats.

Okay, Catwoman.

Or it could belong to a drug dealer.

Ah, right. Drug dealer.

Wait a minute. We don't want the drug
dealer to have it now, do we?

What, you're saying that we don't return
the money to the owner if the owner's a

drug dealer?

It could be some poor family's rent
money.

Ah, poor family. Wait a minute, wait a
minute.

What poor person do you know who carries
around a money clip?

Well, my Uncle Franklin carries a money
clip and he's poor.

Does he carry money in it?

So you guys are saying that if it's a
rich person, we keep the money, but if

it's a poor person, we give it back?

Look, you guys, look. It doesn't matter
whose it is. You know it's not yours,

Rahim. I found it. What you talking
about? Yo, yo, yo, yo, look, look, look.

Leticia's right, man. We should look for
the owner no matter who it is.

Really, Eugene?

Well, that's very refreshing.

Well, it is the honorable thing to do,
isn't it?

Why is it that I'm the only one telling
the truth around here?

You know that if Theo wasn't here, you'd
all say, keep the money.

I might have left something here.

Can I help you? I'm Theo Huxtable. Yes.
My name is Yasmin Zander.

Wait a minute.

What's your middle name?

Edward.

Here's a picture of Heathcliff when he
was eight years old on Halloween.

He was standing on the front stoop of
our house in Philadelphia.

What's he dressed as?

A cheesesteak hoagie.

A hoagie? What kind of costume is that?

Well, you have to turn the picture on
its side and you get the full effect.

Oh.

Oh, let's see. What else? have we got in
here?

Oh, Heathcliff's first grade report
card.

What's that writing on the back?

Oh, that's the teacher's comments.

Heathcliff has an active imagination,
but has a tendency to disrupt the class.

And due to the length of his
presentations, he has been banned from

tell.

Oh, he got in trouble?

Well... Now, that was only one side of
Heathcliff. Now, here's another side.

Now, here's Heathcliff taking his first
bath in the big tub.

Ooh, Dr. Huxtable's naked.

And look at his belly button. He has an
outie.

And look, he's got that same smile.

Well,

Heathcliff always had a capacity for
entertaining himself.

But when we put him to bed at night, he
never cried.

He would just sit up in that crib for
hours going, yabba, yabba, yabba, yabba,

yabba, yabba.

We saw you naked.

We saw you naked.

What you got there, Dad?

Well, these children are doing a little
book about you, and they wanted to check

some of their facts.

What's this?

Uh, why don't you read it to them, Dad?

The Adventures of Bob and Cliff.

That is correct.

Bob and Cliff. And if you notice the
photograph there.

Oh, excuse me. Is that a photograph of
me? And I'm standing beside Bob

the bike.

I can still feel the wind in my face.

I did not. I said that I gave the bike
to

my friend Tom Smith and that the

bike is in the Smith home, ma 'am.

What you said was hanging there like a
rocket.

I said that they put the bike near a
rocker.

Well, you did say it was hanging next to
the Spirit of St. Louis.

Oh.

I said that the Smith family moved...

Listen to me.

Hey, what's up?

I'll tell you what's up.

Ten bucks.

That's my reward.

Ten bucks.

Well, hey, man, ten bucks is not much.

But listen, it's more than what you came
in with.

You know things have not been so great
for my family lately.

That money could have helped us out a
lot.

Raheem, the money wasn't yours to begin
with.

But it should have been. Do you know how
Mr. Zander got that money?

He wanted betting on horses.

What justice?

You're right.

There is none.

No. What justice is the name of the
horse?

Can you believe it? That was free money
to Zander.

And it could have been free money to me.

Would you feel better if the money went
to homeless people?

Yeah, but the people who need it most
never get it. Other people get it, like

politicians, movie stars, ballplayers,
preachers.

They're all taking down big bucks.

Yeah, you're right.

But they're not all good people.

Some do drugs, some steal it, some even
lie all the time just to keep their

money. But what does it have to do with
Raheem?

This Raheem?

This Rahim should have kept his mouth
shut and walked out of here with that

money.

Oh, this Rahim is the last honest fool.

Come on. Now, this Rahim is the only one
calling himself a fool.

Say you did take the money. You took the
money home. What would your father have

done?

First, he would have asked me where I
got the money.

And then he would have made me return
it. Maybe that's because he's a fool,

I guess I must be a fool, too, because I
would have returned it. So that makes

three of us, right? And then there's
Deidre, Letitia, Eugene.

That brings the fool count up to what?
Six.

See, but you stand out, Rob, because
you're the only fool amongst us who had

prove it.

And also, you got $10 to show for it.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

You just be careful, because Letitia
might start liking you.

Oh, man.

Hello there, my tiny little scribes.

What

was

that all about?

Maybe they're taking a Heathcliff.

Two innocent six -year -olds come to you
for a bit of personal history, for a

little project in school, and what
happens?

A 76 -year -old man has to drive 40
miles to un -fin your yarn.

Now, just hear me out. Has there been a
day in life when you did not

embroider the truth beyond recognition?

Well, didn't I tell you in 1967?

Yabba, yabba, yabba, yabba.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't
leave, don't leave, don't leave, okay?

All right. Now, if you want the true
story, then I'll be more than happy to

you the true story, okay?

No more kidding around.

What do you think, Marlon?

I don't know.

We've been telling the truth so many
times before.

If you don't think I'm telling the
truth, then ask Grandpa Huxtable.

Let me say to you what I said to Cliff's
first grade teacher.

Just give him one more chance.

Thank you, Dad, for then and now.

Okay, tell us your story.

It was 1943.

I was six years old, and we had entered
World

War II.

I actually...

adjoined in the fight.

You were a soldier when you were sick.

Actually, I was not a soldier.

However, they asked the civilians to do
certain things.

What did you do?

I was put in charge of collecting tin
foil.

packs had tin foil on top of the paper
and my my job was to take that and take

peel off that tin foil and i was good at
candy bars were like that cracker jacks

and that was my job and i'd ball it up
and make a little ball and then a bigger

ball and just and i'd walk around the
city and i was always like this always

looking for tin foil everywhere i went
and got so people in philadelphia said

there's heath Cliff, the magnet, the
American patriot.

They did call him Heath Cliff, the
magnet.

And he was a patriot.

Exactly. And I collected and balled up
so much, I had a ball of tinfoil this

high. No, Heath Cliff, it was this high.

Absolutely.

I remember because you were...

Could hardly see over it when the local
paper took that picture of you. There

you go. You had your picture in the
paper?

Yes, he did.

Adam sent it to me when I was overseas.

Now, that's a great story.

Yeah, so make sure you write all the
facts down. Get everything straight.

Oh, I have a silver crayon.

I'm drawing the tinfoil ball.

Look, son, let me help you here. See,
you have to make it bigger than that.

ball was big.