All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s06e12 Getting to Know You

you

Excuse me?

The hostess asked us to share a table.
You mind?

Oh, no, no.

I'm waiting for someone, but he hasn't
arrived yet. Please.

I'm Tori. This is my friend Fran. Hi,
I'm Martin.

So, Martin, are you a student at NYU?

No, I'm an engineer in the Navy.

Oh, you must be an officer.

Yes, I am. I'm a lieutenant.

We're grad students at NYU.

Psychology. You know, I've been waiting
about 20 minutes for a menu. Why don't I

just get up and get one?

Excuse me.

That man is mine, and don't you fight me
on this one.

Not so fast.

You see this man has a wedding ring on
his left hand? Yes. I refuse to believe

that that gorgeous engineer lieutenant
is married.

They're out of menus, can you believe
it?

Sir Martin, I'd like to ask you
something.

Sure. If I told you that we were having
a party tonight at the Graduate Center,

would you like to come alone?

No. Who would you like to bring?

My wife.

I told you.

All the good ones are taken.

Oh, I don't know. I've heard that there
are a couple left someplace.

Do you know?

Personally, I'll drink it. No, the Navy
is full of them.

Full of them, okay.

Hey, Dad.

Hey. Fran and Tori. This is my father
-in -law, Dr. Harkness. Hi.

Nice to meet you. This place is so
crowded that the waitress asked them to

with me.

Well, if you've got to make someone sit
with you, this is a wonderful choice.

Oh, yes.

It wasn't a very good choice for us.
Really?

Martin led us on and made us believe he
wasn't married.

No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

See that wedding ring on your finger?
Oh, yeah. This is 26 years of wonderful

time. Wonderful time. This is five
months a year of wonderful time.

time. Yes, indeed.

This is my son, Theo.

Oh, Theo.

Hi, nice to meet you, Theo. Hi. Your
father and brother -in -law have been

leading a son, pretending to not marry.

That's not true at all. As a matter of
fact, he is an eligible bachelor.

In fact, you should think of taking Theo
to that party you mentioned.

Party? Oh.

I also traded for graduate students.

Graduate, undergraduate, what's the
difference?

I just meant that I thought that you
might be a little young, that you might

feel a little young. Let's not
discriminate against young people here.

I mean, younger men have a lot to offer.

Yes, in fact, studies show that women
live longer than men, right?

Well, an older woman should get involved
with a younger man because that way

they'll check out at the same time.

Well, Theo, you present a very
intelligent argument as to why we should

to this party.

Oh, okay.

Cool. Hey, bring your old assistants.

Waitress, waitress.

Yes, I would like to buy... young man a
cappuccino. Why? Because studies show

that young men also have no money.

Santa gets around pretty quick, doesn't
he? No, let me tell you. These were

three different Santas.

Oh.

One was black.

Say African American, okay?

Okay. One was white.

How can you say Caucasian? What?

Caucasian. Well,

anyway.

One was Chinese.

I want you to say Asian.

Santa helps

children

from all over the world, so he has a
little bit of everyone inside of him. Is

that why he's so fat?

Who got ready to leave?

Your sisters are putting their finishing
touches on Elvin's outfit.

There you go.

Hey. Hi, Daddy. Hey, Sparky, give me
some sugar.

Mom, Denise, I would keep an eye on your
husband if I were you.

I walk into the Cafe de Balzac and guess
who was sitting there at a table with

two gorgeous women?

Who? Daddy Martin.

to make a big deal out of this honey the
place was crowded so the girls had to

sit at our table yes and i do believe
that if we had not shown them our

rings those two young ladies were going
to take us out to a party tonight that's

a very nice clip come on girls let's go
shopping wait wait a minute i just told

you that a gorgeous girl wanted to run
off with me, and that's all you can say

is, come on, girls, let's go shopping?
You could never have done such a thing.

Why? Never in a million years, for two
very good reasons. First of all, you

would never be interested in another
woman.

Well, that's right.

Now, what's the second one?

She probably thought you were too old.

Dad,

wait till you see what we did to Elvin.

He's supposed to look like an elf when
he goes to visit the children at the

hospital. Now, he only wanted to wear
tights, but we made him an entire

He truly is an elf.

Okay, now, everybody, he's feeling a
little self -conscious, so when he comes

down here, I want you all to really play
it up. They can feel good.

Elvin!

I'm not coming down.

Oh, come on, honey. You're going to be
late.

I'm studying to be a doctor to earn
people's respect.

I volunteered out of the goodness of my
heart to give presents to kids in the

hospital, and they said I had to wear
tights and a hat, a simple hat and some

tights.

But no, my wife and her sisters, for
reasons I will never understand, have

conspired to humiliate me.

Elvin, if you're going to be an elf, you
should be the best elf you can be.

Well, I guess it's for a good cause,
right? So I should do it.

Yeah. I'll do it.

I just don't know how I'm ever going to
look the guys in the eye at the hospital

again.

Elvin, Elvin, you just have to ask
yourself, am I a man or am I an elf?

Oh, don't listen to him, honey.

You're a man and an elf.

Come on, everybody, and get your coat.

Theo, we're going shopping. You want to
join us?

No, but you can drop me off at Howard's.

Elvin. Yeah. There's no one out in the
street. Oh, yeah? You can go out now.

Thanks, kid.

Oh, man, I must have been tired. I hit
that sofa. I was out like that.

Yeah, I know. I was going to sleep on
that couch myself.

Oh, I'm sorry. You should have said
something.

I did, but you were snoring.

No more apple juice.

Really had a taste for some apple juice.

Can we share?

Might as well. You took the sofa.

Thank you.

So, this afternoon we met at the Café de
Balzac.

Now we're sitting around the kitchen
table.

Guess you could say this is our day
together.

Okay. You know, it's been about four
months since I first met you, and I

really have the feeling that I know you.

I'm Cliff.

See? See, you are funny. You have this
way of making people laugh. I admire

that.

You know, Dr. Huxtable, I really...

really love your daughter and i want you
to know that this is a great family to

live with and i really appreciate
everything you've done for us really and

want to apologize once again for
marrying your daughter without you

about it i'm sure it came as quite a
surprise surprise i was shocked

i didn't even have a chance to reject
you you would not have

rejected me Suppose I'd had a shotgun
and I said, don't come through this

I would have said, open fire.

You can take my life, but you can't take
my love.

Pretty good.

You knew my daughter only two weeks, and
then you got married.

Now, in the course of that, Two weeks.

Did, um... Oh!

Oh,

boy.

I don't know if I should be sharing that
with you, Dr. Huxtable.

Yes, you should.

When I first met Denise, I was very
attracted to her because she is

hot. I mean, no disrespect intended.

Sorry, it's just watch your mouth.

Okay, all right. Anyway, I can't believe
I'm telling you this, but...

You should.

I really wanted to... Yeah, yeah, be
careful.

Express myself physically with her. Can
I say that?

Yeah, but you're borderline. Okay.

But you will be happy to know that
Denise was having none of that.

Really? On our wedding night, I
discovered that of the two of us, only

one of us had had prior experience. And
as you know, I'm the one with the

daughter. So you're telling me that my
daughter...

Yep.

what Lieutenant Junior Grade's uniform
looked like in the 1950s. That's right.

Ten, hop!

At ease, sailor.

Wait a minute. I outrank you, Lieutenant
Junior Grade.

Not in my house.

Dr.

Uxable, I must say, this is very sharp.
Very, very sharp. Well, thank you very

much. And I especially loved wearing
this on foreign soil.

Oh, I didn't know you were overseas.

Oh, yes, indeed.

And found myself in some pretty hot
spots, too. No kidding. Where?

St. Croix, Bermuda.

Thank you.

Hey!

Hey, Elfin, how'd it go?

Well, listen, I have to admit, when they
asked me to do this, I really didn't

want to do it.

And when I saw this costume, I really
didn't want to do it.

But I'll tell you, when I got to the
hospital, I saw the smiles on the faces

those kids.

It was unbelievable.

I loved it. I'm going back again
tomorrow.

You know, I was so good that I upstaged
Santa Claus.

Man, he was pitiful.

I mean, I was Elvin the Elf. He was
Santa the Sad Sack.

It was great. I was so good that one of
the patient's fathers, Dr. Ventura,

asked me to do his daughter's birthday
party. I'm getting a hundred bucks.

All I can say is eat.

I hate to get out of this costume,
though. I really love it.

Come on, I'll buy you an apple juice.

Ah, we drank the last one, remember?
That's all right. Then we'll get

healthy like ice cream. Oh, I'll stop.

Yeah.

You know, I must tell you that

I've enjoyed your company today.

Starting with the two women at the
coffee place, you know.

And I really do like you. I do.

I think that the only thing that's
missing, though, is I feel

robbed.

Robbed. See, when Sandra got married, I
gave her away because I'm the

father, you see. I didn't, in the
beginning, want to give her away to

Because, I mean, actually, Alvin, but
now, after knowing him, you know, forget

the elf stuff.

But with Denise, she comes home and is
married, and what's missing is I

didn't give her away. I'm sorry about
that. I wish there was something I could

do. Well, who gave her away?

Uh, Mufaro.

He was a man from a nearby village. He
had many goats.

A man with many goats gave my daughter
away in my place. I'm afraid so.

Would it make you feel any better if I
told you that the goats weren't at the

wedding?

Uh, no.

Daddy, we're back from shopping!

Hey, I'm glad, because I missed you!

Where's Denise?

Oh, good. I'm going to go help.

Mrs. Huckstable will see.

She doesn't want us eating.

Yeah, yeah, you see Santa Claus a lot
this time of the year. Yes, indeed.

The Santa I saw wasn't at the real
Santa.

Right. Real Santa's at the North Pole.

Have you ever seen the real Santa?

Of course I have.

Every year, he comes down the chimney in
my house, and he says, Dr.

Huxtable, how are ya? Ho, ho, ho!

He's got rosy cheeks, beard,

and a twinkle in his eye.

Is he Caucasian or African -American or
Asian?

Santa Claus is whatever

you are in that house.

See, when he comes down the

chimney, let's say that you were
Japanese.

He would be, zoom, Japanese.

And then he would come in here, same
Santa Claus, zoom, African -American.

I was over to Mr.

Jefferson's house. He's Caucasian, you
know.

And I'm sitting there, Mr. Jefferson
left.

Santa Claus came down. Zoom!

He was Caucasian. Looked at me. He said,
uh -oh.

You understand?

So, so, so. So I said, it's all right.
He'll be downstairs in a minute. And we

gave a high five.

You're making no sense, Dr. Episcopal.
No one can change like that.

Are you telling me?

who makes toys for little kids, the man
who knows if you're naughty or nice,

doesn't have the ability to change?

What color is he at the North Pole?

You have to ask Mrs. Santa Claus.

Well, I want to talk to Mrs. Santa
Claus.

Do you have her phone number?

Yes, because adults...

have the phone number to the Santa Claus
house.

Because if little girls and boys had it,
they'd be calling every five minutes.

Oh, Santa Claus can I have this? Santa
Claus can I have that? And you better

just stop bothering me before I call
Santa and give him a bad report about

No, no, don't do that.

Yeah. Well, then you better prove to me
that you're a good girl.

I'm good, I'm good.

Yeah, well, you have to prove it to me.
You have to do something.

What? You mop this floor.

Okay, where do we start? I'm ready.

I don't believe this.

Give me the mop, please.

See, sit down in your ice cream. You
kids are all alike. Every time around

Christmas time, you'll do anything.

Oh, I'll mop the floor. Oh, I'll do the
windows. Oh, I'll wash your car. Oh,

I'll do anything.

And then somewhere around April, I'd say
mop the floor.

Your daughter's arm. And cue.

And would you please escort the bride to
the altar?

Now, even though we're already married,
there's something missing.

A man by the name of Mufaro gave this
woman, Denise Huxtable, away to me,

Kendall. Unfortunately, the only thing
he could realistically give away were

many goats.

Now, is there a man in the room who
would like to give his daughter away?

Ah, here's a gentleman right here.

Please give her away.

This is not alone.

Denise, take me, Martin, to be your
husband?

I already did.

Do you, Martin, take me, Denise, as your
wife?

I already did.

Now I may kiss the bride.

Talk.

Where are you going?

Honeymoon.

The cast and show was taped before a
studio audience.