All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s06e08 The Day the Spores Landed
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1
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We interrupt our regular programming for
a special news report.
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Here is NBC News correspondent John
Palmer.
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This morning, three more pregnant men
have been cited. The men, each of whom
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00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,690
in his ninth month, were discovered in
Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.
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00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:50,990
This brings the total number of pregnant
men in the United States to well over
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11 ,300 ,000.
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As we reported earlier, this phenomenon
has been traced to the eruption of a
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volcano in Peru.
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Scientists say spores from the volcano
have altered the world's water supply,
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enabling men to become pregnant.
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As yet, no man has given birth, but
millions are due at any moment. The
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hospitals are standing at the ready in a
state of total confusion.
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Wait, this just in.
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Another pregnant man has been spotted at
a car dealership in Marietta, Ohio.
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Stay tuned for further updates.
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Honey! Honey, get down, honey. They just
found four more.
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All right!
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I feel sorry for them.
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I feel sorry for myself.
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Please, please, please, don't even,
don't touch me, please.
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Can you scoot? Can you?
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Yeah, just that. Be careful.
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Now,
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is that better?
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I've got to put them up. Yes, let's put
them up here on the table.
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They're not bending well.
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Now, how's that?
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It's much better.
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Where's that mess come from?
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Who ate down here?
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I did, Cliff. And why didn't you clean
the mess up? Well, honey, I'm tired. I
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want you to clean the mess up. You
people come in here and you eat, and I
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finished cleaning, and then you come
behind. Never mind. I'll get it myself.
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no, no, no, no. I'll get it myself.
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I'll get it. I don't understand why you
can't clean this mess up after you've
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finished eating. And look at this.
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Look at this. I just dusted in here. I
just dusted and cleaned. And now look at
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the floor. I'm going to have to vacuum.
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I'm sorry, Cliff. I'll vacuum. No,
you're not sorry. You don't care about
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way I look. You don't care.
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Honey, please.
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Honey, please.
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Oh, my.
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Sweetheart, come on now.
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No, no, no.
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Just relax now.
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Where's Alvin? Oh, he's on his way
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low to the ground.
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Must have been made by women. Hi.
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Have a seat.
51
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I gained another eight pounds.
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You look gorgeous.
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I do not.
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Well, I stopped having morning sickness.
Now I'm having afternoon sickness,
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night sickness.
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I'm sick at dusk.
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00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,740
Men, you're going to drop them any
minute.
58
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,260
Martin, are you sure it's only eight
pounds?
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Looks like you might be having twins.
60
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Well, if anyone could give him twins, it
would be me.
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Check it out. I didn't do too badly
myself.
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I can't wait to get started on the next
one.
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Look at his face, how it's filling out.
Isn't he cute?
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Ladies, shall we make our husband some
tea?
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Ah, good idea.
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Well, nothing for me, thanks. I can't
keep anything down.
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We'll be in the kitchen if you need us.
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Mm -hmm.
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Hi,
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everybody.
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Dad.
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Hey dad son How
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are
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you doing I'm doing as well as I can
it's not easy to deal with the idea of
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being an unwed father I Mean I can't
believe
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she just got on the bus and left town
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told me she loved me.
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But I guess it was only after one thing.
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That's what you get for giving it up
without a wedding ring.
80
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:10,810
Well, I know it'll get your mind off
your troubles. It always helps me.
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Basketball. Hey, yeah.
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The Celtics are playing the Lakers. Turn
it on.
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A man, Magic Johnson, driving down the
court. He's moving so slowly.
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The man's eight months pregnant.
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Please turn this off. This is very
depressing.
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Guys, let me ask you something. I mean,
have any of you thought about what it's
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going to be like when we give birth? I
mean, you know, the pain.
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Well, Dad, you've seen a lot of births.
What's it like?
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It's going to be pain.
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A lot of pain.
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Gentlemen, I don't like to hear this
kind of talk.
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We're men.
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We handle pain better than women, right?
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I'm sensing some hesitation here, and I
don't like it.
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Look, I am a proud member of this
country's military
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service.
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6 a .m. than most people do all day.
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We're tough. We can take it. So when I
say that men can take pain better, by
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God, I expect you to agree.
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Right? Right.
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All right. Yeah, son.
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Ooh!
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What if it's harder for us? I mean,
we'll never hear the end of it. We'll
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pact. No matter how bad the pain gets,
we won't let on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,739
yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Ooh. All right.
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All for one.
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And one for all.
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And three for five. All right.
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I
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don't
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know why I'm coming out here.
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I have to go right back in there in a
minute.
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I'm going to have to spend the rest of
my life in that bathroom.
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I tell you, I don't know what's wrong
with me.
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But I just think I'm too old. I'm 52.
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I'm too old to have a baby.
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Cliff,
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are you all right?
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Contraction.
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Okay, let's go. We're going to the
hospital.
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But, Cliff, that's just your first
contraction, honey. The next one might
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come for 30 minutes. You have to wait
till they're five minutes apart.
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Don't tell me what to do with my body.
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Now, I'm going.
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Let's go.
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00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:14,830
Cliff, we have to time these things when
they're five minutes apart. You know
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how this goes.
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Look, I'm telling you, this is my body.
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Now, get the car ready.
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Saddle up, Roy. We're out of here.
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All right, Cliff. All right. I'll tell
you what. Let's get your bag and we'll
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put it down by the door. And then when
the contractions are five minutes apart,
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then we'll go.
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Look, when was the last time?
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What was my contraction time? How long
ago?
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I don't know. I guess about a minute
ago. What do you mean you don't know?
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That's the only job you have is to time
the contractions. You can't do a simple
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job. I'm having a baby, and you can't
remember what the time was from the time
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said, oh, that's your job.
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It's just a very simple job.
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You don't have anything else to do
except time the contraction, and you
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remember the time. All you know is you
want to get in the car and go. Well, go!
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And I'll tell you something else. It's
the last time you and I get in this bed
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together.
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Good exercise, good exercise.
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I thought I'd seen it all.
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00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:57,800
The 1939 World's Fair, combat in Sicily,
Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show, and last
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00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,440
week I swear I saw Elvis alive at the
Paramus Mall.
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00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,260
But I've never seen men giving birth.
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It's remarkable.
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00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,080
Grandpa, how did you manage to avoid
this?
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00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,680
Well, didn't you hear the news bulletin
this morning?
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They say when the volcano erupted, the
spores didn't get to the water supply in
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New Jersey.
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You know, I'm curious.
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Are you planning to breastfeed?
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Russell,
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go get our car. We'll take the unwed
one.
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Uh -huh. Shut up.
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00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:16,900
Now, when I was on the wrestling team in
high school, my coach would say to us,
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the toughest battle you'll face is with
your courage.
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00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:26,579
Then, he'd look each of us in the eye
and say,
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Honey, come on. Give me a break. I
wasn't inhaling.
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Give me back.
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Dr.
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Strauss. Dr. Huxtable.
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All the Huxtables.
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I, uh... He came to make a delivery.
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Any men delivery yet?
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Yeah. Your neighbor, Jeffrey Angles,
gave birth just a couple of minutes ago.
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Well, let's burn rubber.
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00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,400
Jeffrey! Look!
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Claire!
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We heard you just delivered.
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Yes, I did.
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How was it?
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You know, I can only say it was a
miracle.
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To think... that my body could bring
forth a little tiny creature that exists
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its own.
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I'm filled with such wonder.
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And they laid it on my chest for me to
hold. It had such a sweet, angelic
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face. It put my whole life into
perspective.
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Mr. Angles, when you gave birth, what
did it feel like?
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What did it feel like?
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Didn't you hear me screaming in there?
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It was the worst pain. I've ever felt in
my life. I didn't know that pain like
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that could exist.
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The horror!
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I don't understand how Mother Nature
could allow such terrible suffering to
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happen to a human being.
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I mean, when I was nine years old, I
fell out of my treehouse 20 feet onto
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stone patio, and then the treehouse fell
on top of me.
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But that was just nothing compared to
this.
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excruciating, searing, grueling,
unbearable, piercing pain.
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And when I think of where that...
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Cliff, honey, please.
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00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:55,890
problem here. No, no, Cliff, you're
tensing, honey. You're tensing. I want
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to breathe. Come on, inhale, and push,
and push, and push.
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I love women.
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I think women are the most wonderful
people on the face of this earth.
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00:23:43,310 --> 00:23:45,970
The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.
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