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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:36,550 We interrupt our regular programming for a special news report. 2 00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:39,230 Here is NBC News correspondent John Palmer. 3 00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:43,470 This morning, three more pregnant men have been cited. The men, each of whom 4 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,690 in his ninth month, were discovered in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. 5 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:50,990 This brings the total number of pregnant men in the United States to well over 6 00:01:50,990 --> 00:01:52,870 11 ,300 ,000. 7 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:57,300 As we reported earlier, this phenomenon has been traced to the eruption of a 8 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,340 volcano in Peru. 9 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,860 Scientists say spores from the volcano have altered the world's water supply, 10 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,980 enabling men to become pregnant. 11 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:09,740 As yet, no man has given birth, but millions are due at any moment. The 12 00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:12,540 hospitals are standing at the ready in a state of total confusion. 13 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,420 Wait, this just in. 14 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,440 Another pregnant man has been spotted at a car dealership in Marietta, Ohio. 15 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,840 Stay tuned for further updates. 16 00:02:23,130 --> 00:02:26,090 Honey! Honey, get down, honey. They just found four more. 17 00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:27,330 All right! 18 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,740 I feel sorry for them. 19 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:58,480 I feel sorry for myself. 20 00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:09,200 Please, please, please, don't even, don't touch me, please. 21 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,190 Can you scoot? Can you? 22 00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,930 Yeah, just that. Be careful. 23 00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:48,530 Now, 24 00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:53,470 is that better? 25 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:56,770 I've got to put them up. Yes, let's put them up here on the table. 26 00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:01,770 They're not bending well. 27 00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:05,690 Now, how's that? 28 00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:07,570 It's much better. 29 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,910 Where's that mess come from? 30 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,610 Who ate down here? 31 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:16,890 I did, Cliff. And why didn't you clean the mess up? Well, honey, I'm tired. I 32 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:21,110 want you to clean the mess up. You people come in here and you eat, and I 33 00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:25,230 finished cleaning, and then you come behind. Never mind. I'll get it myself. 34 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,290 no, no, no, no. I'll get it myself. 35 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:31,990 I'll get it. I don't understand why you can't clean this mess up after you've 36 00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:33,770 finished eating. And look at this. 37 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:39,650 Look at this. I just dusted in here. I just dusted and cleaned. And now look at 38 00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,610 the floor. I'm going to have to vacuum. 39 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,780 I'm sorry, Cliff. I'll vacuum. No, you're not sorry. You don't care about 40 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:47,400 way I look. You don't care. 41 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,620 Honey, please. 42 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:50,700 Honey, please. 43 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:52,660 Oh, my. 44 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:55,760 Sweetheart, come on now. 45 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 No, no, no. 46 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,600 Just relax now. 47 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,800 Where's Alvin? Oh, he's on his way 48 00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:13,810 low to the ground. 49 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:17,630 Must have been made by women. Hi. 50 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:20,750 Have a seat. 51 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,060 I gained another eight pounds. 52 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,600 You look gorgeous. 53 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,080 I do not. 54 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:56,080 Well, I stopped having morning sickness. Now I'm having afternoon sickness, 55 00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:57,260 night sickness. 56 00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,480 I'm sick at dusk. 57 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,740 Men, you're going to drop them any minute. 58 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,260 Martin, are you sure it's only eight pounds? 59 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,160 Looks like you might be having twins. 60 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,660 Well, if anyone could give him twins, it would be me. 61 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:23,610 Check it out. I didn't do too badly myself. 62 00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:30,930 I can't wait to get started on the next one. 63 00:07:34,210 --> 00:07:37,630 Look at his face, how it's filling out. Isn't he cute? 64 00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:42,310 Ladies, shall we make our husband some tea? 65 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,690 Ah, good idea. 66 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,920 Well, nothing for me, thanks. I can't keep anything down. 67 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,940 We'll be in the kitchen if you need us. 68 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,260 Mm -hmm. 69 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:06,980 Hi, 70 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,040 everybody. 71 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,240 Dad. 72 00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:20,890 Hey dad son How 73 00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:27,770 are 74 00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:33,970 you doing I'm doing as well as I can it's not easy to deal with the idea of 75 00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:40,409 being an unwed father I Mean I can't believe 76 00:08:40,409 --> 00:08:43,150 she just got on the bus and left town 77 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,030 told me she loved me. 78 00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:52,150 But I guess it was only after one thing. 79 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:03,230 That's what you get for giving it up without a wedding ring. 80 00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:10,810 Well, I know it'll get your mind off your troubles. It always helps me. 81 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:12,810 Basketball. Hey, yeah. 82 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,610 The Celtics are playing the Lakers. Turn it on. 83 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,560 A man, Magic Johnson, driving down the court. He's moving so slowly. 84 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,620 The man's eight months pregnant. 85 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,580 Please turn this off. This is very depressing. 86 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,740 Guys, let me ask you something. I mean, have any of you thought about what it's 87 00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:52,300 going to be like when we give birth? I mean, you know, the pain. 88 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,840 Well, Dad, you've seen a lot of births. What's it like? 89 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,240 It's going to be pain. 90 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:01,720 A lot of pain. 91 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,700 Gentlemen, I don't like to hear this kind of talk. 92 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,040 We're men. 93 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,420 We handle pain better than women, right? 94 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:19,300 I'm sensing some hesitation here, and I don't like it. 95 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:26,120 Look, I am a proud member of this country's military 96 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,120 service. 97 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,520 6 a .m. than most people do all day. 98 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:38,420 We're tough. We can take it. So when I say that men can take pain better, by 99 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,140 God, I expect you to agree. 100 00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:41,420 Right? Right. 101 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,960 All right. Yeah, son. 102 00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,180 Ooh! 103 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:51,360 What if it's harder for us? I mean, we'll never hear the end of it. We'll 104 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:57,860 pact. No matter how bad the pain gets, we won't let on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 105 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,739 yeah, yeah. 106 00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:59,659 Yeah, yeah. 107 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,000 Ooh. All right. 108 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,540 All for one. 109 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,460 And one for all. 110 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,120 And three for five. All right. 111 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:09,780 I 112 00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:18,820 don't 113 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,000 know why I'm coming out here. 114 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,820 I have to go right back in there in a minute. 115 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,340 I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life in that bathroom. 116 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,340 I tell you, I don't know what's wrong with me. 117 00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:41,780 But I just think I'm too old. I'm 52. 118 00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:44,780 I'm too old to have a baby. 119 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,140 Cliff, 120 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,200 are you all right? 121 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,100 Contraction. 122 00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:58,560 Okay, let's go. We're going to the hospital. 123 00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:02,120 But, Cliff, that's just your first contraction, honey. The next one might 124 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,160 come for 30 minutes. You have to wait till they're five minutes apart. 125 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,210 Don't tell me what to do with my body. 126 00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:09,370 Now, I'm going. 127 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:10,690 Let's go. 128 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:14,830 Cliff, we have to time these things when they're five minutes apart. You know 129 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,789 how this goes. 130 00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:18,690 Look, I'm telling you, this is my body. 131 00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:21,050 Now, get the car ready. 132 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:23,390 Saddle up, Roy. We're out of here. 133 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,890 All right, Cliff. All right. I'll tell you what. Let's get your bag and we'll 134 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,910 put it down by the door. And then when the contractions are five minutes apart, 135 00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:30,990 then we'll go. 136 00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,170 Look, when was the last time? 137 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,290 What was my contraction time? How long ago? 138 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:40,590 I don't know. I guess about a minute ago. What do you mean you don't know? 139 00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:46,070 That's the only job you have is to time the contractions. You can't do a simple 140 00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:51,710 job. I'm having a baby, and you can't remember what the time was from the time 141 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:53,150 said, oh, that's your job. 142 00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:55,590 It's just a very simple job. 143 00:12:55,990 --> 00:13:00,590 You don't have anything else to do except time the contraction, and you 144 00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:05,160 remember the time. All you know is you want to get in the car and go. Well, go! 145 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:10,720 And I'll tell you something else. It's the last time you and I get in this bed 146 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,720 together. 147 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,680 Good exercise, good exercise. 148 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,380 I thought I'd seen it all. 149 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:57,800 The 1939 World's Fair, combat in Sicily, Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show, and last 150 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,440 week I swear I saw Elvis alive at the Paramus Mall. 151 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,260 But I've never seen men giving birth. 152 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:07,560 It's remarkable. 153 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,080 Grandpa, how did you manage to avoid this? 154 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,680 Well, didn't you hear the news bulletin this morning? 155 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:18,320 They say when the volcano erupted, the spores didn't get to the water supply in 156 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,320 New Jersey. 157 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:21,900 You know, I'm curious. 158 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,540 Are you planning to breastfeed? 159 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:11,640 Russell, 160 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,220 go get our car. We'll take the unwed one. 161 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,880 Uh -huh. Shut up. 162 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:16,900 Now, when I was on the wrestling team in high school, my coach would say to us, 163 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:21,119 the toughest battle you'll face is with your courage. 164 00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:26,579 Then, he'd look each of us in the eye and say, 165 00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:19,710 Honey, come on. Give me a break. I wasn't inhaling. 166 00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:21,290 Give me back. 167 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,010 Dr. 168 00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,750 Strauss. Dr. Huxtable. 169 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:39,450 All the Huxtables. 170 00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:42,430 I, uh... He came to make a delivery. 171 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:45,570 Any men delivery yet? 172 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:49,860 Yeah. Your neighbor, Jeffrey Angles, gave birth just a couple of minutes ago. 173 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,160 Well, let's burn rubber. 174 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,400 Jeffrey! Look! 175 00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:00,060 Claire! 176 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,120 We heard you just delivered. 177 00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,000 Yes, I did. 178 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,360 How was it? 179 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:10,160 You know, I can only say it was a miracle. 180 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:16,180 To think... that my body could bring forth a little tiny creature that exists 181 00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:17,180 its own. 182 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,540 I'm filled with such wonder. 183 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:26,300 And they laid it on my chest for me to hold. It had such a sweet, angelic 184 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:29,580 face. It put my whole life into perspective. 185 00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:33,760 Mr. Angles, when you gave birth, what did it feel like? 186 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,880 What did it feel like? 187 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,500 Didn't you hear me screaming in there? 188 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:43,650 It was the worst pain. I've ever felt in my life. I didn't know that pain like 189 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:44,650 that could exist. 190 00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:46,890 The horror! 191 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:52,650 I don't understand how Mother Nature could allow such terrible suffering to 192 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,830 happen to a human being. 193 00:19:54,270 --> 00:20:00,630 I mean, when I was nine years old, I fell out of my treehouse 20 feet onto 194 00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:03,730 stone patio, and then the treehouse fell on top of me. 195 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,890 But that was just nothing compared to this. 196 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:15,680 excruciating, searing, grueling, unbearable, piercing pain. 197 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,920 And when I think of where that... 198 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:46,960 Cliff, honey, please. 199 00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:55,890 problem here. No, no, Cliff, you're tensing, honey. You're tensing. I want 200 00:21:55,890 --> 00:22:01,010 to breathe. Come on, inhale, and push, and push, and push. 201 00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:02,230 I love women. 202 00:23:02,350 --> 00:23:08,290 I think women are the most wonderful people on the face of this earth. 203 00:23:43,310 --> 00:23:45,970 The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience. 14980