All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s05e15 The Lost Weekend

I had a hard day.

Tell me about it.

Today, I was trying a case before Judge
Gervins, who is notorious for giving

female attorneys a hard time, right?

So, every time I make an objection, he's
overruled.

He did what?

Overruled every objection I make. Then
when I get to my final argument, the man

says, Could you please keep it brief,
Miss Huxtable?

Boy, I'd like to jerk a knot in his
robe.

That's bad, but it's not as bad as what
happened to me today.

What happened?

Well, I went over to the hospital. I was
in the elevator.

Pregnant woman got on the elevator.

And the elevator broke down.

All the lights went out.

Then the woman went into labor.

I had to deliver the baby, and it wasn't
even my patient.

Then I went upstairs and delivered two
more.

but still not as bad as my day, went
down to the parking garage at the

courthouse, and the car is blocked in by
another car. So I sit there waiting for

the owner to show up. I wait for an
hour.

It's Judge Gurley.

But wait a minute. Let me tell you now.

I come out of the hospital, go to get my
car, and the three babies that I

delivered stole my car.

So I had to run five...

Five miles. So I caught up with them at
the light.

So they're sitting in there smoking
cigarettes and drinking wine and

So I said, give me my car. So they said,
is this your car? I said, yes. They

said, well, get in.

So I got in, and then one of them pulled
out a gun.

I'm so glad we're going away to the
polka dot. Yes, we are. Do me a favor

now. Say yes, because I want to leave
now. Why do we have to wait till

Yes. Please, that's what we're going to
do.

All right. How you doing, son?

Take a good look at us because we're
going to the Poconos now.

What about dinner tonight?

Don't worry about it. I have some money
here for you. You take this and buy your

own food. There's also some money in
there in case you have an emergency of

which I want a receipt when you get to
the emergency room.

All right?

Thanks, Dad.

All right. Hey.

Burgers and pizza all weekend.

Go ahead, ruin yourself.

Let's go. Go on out where nature is
surrounding us.

Gonna stay in the cabin and discover
nature.

Ew.

Yo. Hey, what's up?

I thought you ate dinner at home.

Well, my parents went away for the
weekend.

So you got stuck babysitting your little
sister?

No. Vanessa went to Janet's for the
weekend, and Rudy's spending the weekend

my grandparents' house with Kenny. You
have the house to yourself for the

weekend. Yep. Then I only have one thing
to say.

Party. Party at Theo's.

Lovely suggestion.

I don't know, guys.

I didn't say anything to my parents
about having a party.

Theo, you're getting mired in semantics.
What we're talking about should not be

described as a party, but more like a
colloquy, a gathering of friends to

exchange ideas and merriment.

A trick.

How big a party are we talking? Just the
three of us and our dates. All right.

Hey,

Denny. Hey, Lou. How's it going? Hey,
you know me. If I got any better, it'd

a crime.

You haven't forgotten about tonight,
have you? Tonight?

Yeah. You and Sylvia going bowling with
me and Rita. Oh, I forgot. You see, I

was invited to a party at a friend's
house.

Well, can I come?

Theo.

Can Lou and Rita come to the party
tonight?

Yeah, sure. Come on. Great.

Rita hates bowling anyway.

Say, what time do the festivities begin?

Seven o 'clock.

Seven o 'clock? It's a lock. Later,
boys.

I hope that was okay.

That's it, Denny. No more people.

Absolutely. Theo, why don't you go home
and get your place ready?

I'll call our dates.

I'll even pick up Justine for you. All
right, great.

Fellas, seven o 'clock tonight.

It's colloquy time.

Colloquy, colloquy.

with the tea, but you can call me Fee,
and my friends tend to call me Mr.

Party. My folks are gone, and guess
what? There's a party going on.

What's happening, homie?

Hey, Dad!

You were supposed to be gone an hour
ago.

Yeah, well, we're all packed. We're just
waiting for Kenny to come, and then

we're gonna take him and Rudy over to
Grandpa's. Is he coming soon?

Yeah, any minute now. I'm gonna go get
the bags.

Hey, Kenny, what's up? Don't take your
coat off.

Dad, Kenny's here.

Okay. So you're going to be here by
yourself this weekend?

Yep. That's LePad.

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, is just you alone in the house?

And you are a man.

Do I have to spell it out?

Hi, Kenny.

Hey, Rudy.

Oh, okay. I bet we all can't wait to get
going. That's right. Let's move it. Oh.

I got to water the plants. No, no, you
don't water anything. Mom, I'll take

of it. Thank you. But don't overwater
them. I won't. Don't overwater anything.

I'll see you guys later. Okay. Have a
good trip. Send me a postcard.

What's wrong, Dad? Forgot my razor.

You're going out in the wilderness with
Mom.

You know, she says she likes it when you
have stubble.

You're right.

She calls me.

Mountain man.

All right.

Have a good weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Drive safe, please. Yes, sir.

Quick, get in. My parents are pulling
out of the driveway.

Theo, this is so great.

Come on, let's take this up to the
kitchen.

Hey, Howard, come here for a second.

Where is Justine? I thought you guys
were picking her up.

I'm sorry, man. She has a bad flu.

How come she didn't call me? She was
afraid that if she'd call, your parents

would answer and they would figure out
what was going on tonight.

Oh, great. I don't have a date to my own
party.

Again, Desperado.

Do you know that lovely young creature
named Mona who goes to Columbia?

The cello player?

The very one. Her boyfriend is out of
town. And guess who invited her here

tonight?

Howard, you dog.

Woof, woof.

Mona, I'm so glad you could make it. Me
too.

Before I ran into Howard, I didn't have
anything to do tonight. Well, all that's

about to change.

Welcome to my humble abode. Wait, Dan's
parking the car.

Yo, what's happening?

You're Dan.

Oh, yeah, Denver was snowed in, so they
canceled my flight.

Yo, Lenny, Dina, I'm here.

Lenny and Dina? Are friends of ours. Can
they come in? If it's not okay, we'll

understand.

Why not?

Lenny, Dina?

This is our host.

Say, what's the food? Uh, the kitchen.

Chow time.

Here I am. The party can begin.

What's happening?

This is Rita. My main squeeze.

Yo, she loves it when I say that.

Hey, man.

Where is everybody?

I thought this was a party. Kitchen.

Well, I can get them out here.

everybody ready to play goldmine. Yeah!

Goldmine is my favorite game.

I can feel myself mining those gold
nuggets now.

We need to pick partners.

I tell you what, Rudy, why don't you and
I be partners?

Okay. Hey, that means we're partners,
Kevin. All right, it's the men against

women, and we're gonna tear you up.

Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, this
is not men against women. This is a

friendly game of people versus people.

Yeah, but the men people are going to
make you look bad.

Now, let's go to see who goes first.

Yeah, 11.

Let's see you beat that, bud.

12. Boxcars, we go first.

They're just lucky.

Well, I was not lucky. I was skilled.

Collect. 500 gold nuggets.

Partner, I think our opponents are in
for a long losing night.

Don't bet on it, bud.

This is supposed to be a small party.
How did this happen? I have no idea. I'm

just as surprised as you are. Man, if my
parents find out about this.

Hey, who's that? Her name is Amy. She
goes to Hunter College.

She's been paying you.

She has?

She knows you're the host of the party,
so she wants to be where the center of

the action is. Well, I guess I can't
disappoint a guest, right? I guess not.

Whoa, look at that.

Excuse me.

I hear you got a hunter.

Yes, I do.

Hey, Theo, you got any ketchup for the
steaks?

Steaks? Yeah. Am I supposed to be eating
steaks? Excuse me.

What's going on here?

Where'd you get these steaks? Out of the
freezer.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm Ken.

Meg told me to come over.

Who's Meg?

I don't know her.

Can't be no her.

I was just dancing on it. You've been
dancing on a coffee table?

There's no room on the dance floor. Oh,
man, this is terrible.

Hey, don't worry about it, man. I'm not
going to sue you.

Look at this table.

Look at it.

It's destroyed.

Theo, what's done is done.

You can't reverse time.

You have two options.

One, you can wallow in the tragedy of
the event. Or two, you can accept it and

get on with what's going on in your
life, which is a fabulous party.

And don't forget that you have a very
lovely guest that wants to enjoy your

party with you. Oh, yeah.

I forgot.

So, are you enjoying the party? Yeah.

Listen, I know a quiet place where we
can talk.

I'd like that. Okay, come on.

I had to get in here. This door was
locked.

Someone picked the lock.

It's domestic.

If you want the imported, it's in the
bathtub.

You put beer in the bathtub?

What are you doing in here? Get out of
here.

Get out of here.

All right.

Everybody, out. Get out of here. Get out
of this room.

Get out of this house.

Now.

Last time we came to the party here.

You got too uptight. Ouch.

Look, I'm really sorry about all these
distractions.

Get out of here.

Now. Move it.

I'm really sorry about all of this.

I don't understand some people.

You know, you got beautiful eyes.

Yo! Code 9, basement.

Somebody's stuck in the washing machine.

I'm serious, man.

Listen, please don't leave. I'll be
right back. Okay.

One, two, three, four, five.

All right, we struck gold again.

Okay.

The other prospectors have to pay us $10
,000.

$10 ,000? We only have $11 ,000 left.

Pay up. And no IOUs.

Women, that's all they care about is
money. Oh, come on, Kenny.

Roll an eight and get up to that gold
mine. We need...

and dies, the doctor's fee is $1 ,000.

This is a tragedy.

Women beat the men.

Rudy, now, we shouldn't taunt them. Men
can't stand to lose.

Alan, just let me tell you something.
He's probably going to tell us that they

let us win.

Uh -huh. Russell, what were you going to
say?

Skip it.

Want me to call you a cab?

No, I didn't drink. I'm a designated
driver.

That's the backyard.

Street's that way. I know, but I parked
my car on your back lawn.

Hey, Lou.

Lou.

Lou, the party's over.

Say, man, it's only three in the
morning. What am I supposed to do for

of the night?

Just leave, please.

Later. Uh, Lou?

After my radio.

Okay.

Bye.

Ow!

That's it.

Everybody's out of the house.

Wait a minute. Where's Amy? She left
about a half hour ago.

Oh, man. I didn't even get a chance to
be with her. Don't worry. She knows

you live.

Come on. Let's start cleaning this mess
up. I think we should start in the

living room.

That's what needs the most work.

Nature. Yes. Woo!

Yes, nature is a beautiful thing. Yes,
and I'm going to go back and get some

more of that nature.

Oh,

Pocono.

This place smells like an old beer hall.

Yeah, and the smoke.

Theo has had company.

You guys are home early.

Mom, Dad, I want to talk to you about
this table. Oh, yes, let's do talk about

this table.

While you were gone, we had a party.

It got a little bit out of hand.

It wasn't all Theo's fault.

Originally, it was intended to be a
party for six people.

But due to circumstances beyond our
control, the party swelled to

200.

Anyway, some things got damaged. And we
cleaned the house up as best as we

could, and we fixed what we could fix.

A little bit better than you fixed this
table, I hope.

You better put that back on the list,
Howard.

What is the list?

This is a list of things we couldn't
repair.

This is disgraceful.

Well, we can't sue the boy because he
has nothing.

Mom, I was really honest about what
happened.

Honest about what, son?

I mean, did you have a choice?

I could have not been honest.

I could have just gone away.

Gone away?

Yeah, I could have gotten some clothes
together and gone away. You know, I

really seriously considered that.

Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

That's exactly it.

Away.

Yeah. Come on. Let's go.

Where we going?

Away.

Come on. Let's go.

I'm driving you. I'm driving you, son.

That's where you're going.

Away.

You don't need anything else. This is
all you need. Here we go.

Here we go.

I can't talk now.

I think I'm going away.

They've been gone a long time.

Yeah. Where do you suppose he took him?

Jail.

He's going to be away every morning.

I took him over to Mrs.

Jackson's holy mission for the homeless.

And I explained to her that I had a
wonderful son who loved to throw parties

serve the people.

And I said, don't you have something for
him to do? And she said, yes, of

course. And so from 5 .30 to 6 .30, our
son will be chopping

vegetables for the homeless people.

and serving them.

Now, I know he has a problem getting up
at that hour, but then I asked her son,

Charlie, who was 6 '4", 250 pounds, to
please come by my house and go up to the

bedroom, pick the boy up by the face,
and take him down and put him into the

car. Well, that's where you took him.

Well, that was the second place.

The first place I took him was to the
army recruiter, and I was dead serious

about it, Claire.

He sat in the car. Dad, where are you
taking me? I said, I'm putting your you

-know -what in the army.

And so we got in line.

I didn't know that that many parents
were taking their children down.

We didn't deserve it. But there's 50
parents with 50 kids, boys and girls,

you. All of them standing there. Some of
them had the kid by the neck. One lady

had a rope around the boy's neck.

Another father had his hand. in his
pocket, like I said, you move and

So we're standing there and after about
seven people went in and came

out, the army recruiter came outside
with a bullhorn.

And the man said, listen to me, all you
parents who brought your

little kids here to be put into the
service because your kid ran up money

the weekend on the credit card.

Because your kid made somebody pregnant?

Or because your kid gave a party and
wrecked the house?

Get out of line!

You know, the United States of America
is a wonderful place, but they don't

anything where you can get rid of your
kid.

Now, don't do that, because that's how
we got the vibe we have.

The Cosby Show was taped before a studio
audience.