All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s05e06e07 The Birth
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1
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,640
What's taking you so long?
2
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,860
I can't follow some of my philosophy
notes. Let me see.
3
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,160
Theo, no wonder you can't follow your
notes. Your handwriting looks like
4
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,160
scratches.
5
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:31,120
Maybe to you, but I can understand it.
Yeah? What does that say?
6
00:01:31,380 --> 00:01:33,000
Plate of meat, Stocker Tuesday.
7
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,000
That's Plato meets Socrates.
8
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,100
Oh, I guess it is.
9
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,340
Why did I write down Spumoni?
10
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:48,730
That's probably Spinoza. He's the
philosopher we studied yesterday.
11
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:55,150
Oh, right, Spinoza. He's the guy who
said truth can only be proven by
12
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:57,830
of interrelated propositions. Very good.
13
00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:01,010
See, Theo, it's not that you don't
understand this stuff.
14
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,690
It's you take lousy notes.
15
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:03,990
Here, look at mine.
16
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,810
I have everything written in columns.
17
00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:09,169
Philosopher, dates, books written, and
theories.
18
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:12,970
Well, it sounds like you're pretty proud
of yourself, huh?
19
00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:19,160
Yeah. Well, all I know is a guy like you
needs someone like me to help him reach
20
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,160
his full potential.
21
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,920
You know, I think you're right.
22
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,860
Hey, Dad,
23
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:38,399
how you doing?
24
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,000
Hi, Dr. Huxtel. We were just getting
ready for a study group.
25
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,240
What, linguistics?
26
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,840
Is it okay if I go in the kitchen and
get a snack?
27
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,160
Sure, go ahead.
28
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,980
Would you bring some ice water back for
my son?
29
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:58,260
You know, I've always been meaning to
put a stoplight back there, red, yellow,
30
00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:00,580
green, you know, so I wouldn't walk in
on anything.
31
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,880
Now, what do you think, Dad?
32
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,980
Really? We're going to have a very
serious discussion group over. In fact,
33
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,100
Howard's coming.
34
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:12,360
Howard? Howard must be from another
planet. The professors at NYU don't know
35
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,360
what to do with him.
36
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:17,290
You're kidding. He's pulling hard A
pluses in every subject.
37
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,630
I love Howard.
38
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:21,610
Check out how Howard studies.
39
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:25,330
Yeah. When he's reading a book and
there's a footnote that mentions another
40
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,250
book, Howard reads the other book.
41
00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:36,650
Howard. Then he writes a two or three
page summary on that book for himself.
42
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:42,770
even puts footnotes on that. Dad, the
man is a legend. He almost has an odor.
43
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000
The legend arrives.
44
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:53,860
Hey, Howard.
45
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:55,220
Yo, Theo.
46
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:56,640
You ever probably get in there?
47
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,980
Yeah, well, I did get lost a couple of
times. But then again, I believe that
48
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:02,920
some of our greatest discoveries emerge
from a state of being lost.
49
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,040
Really? Well, let me ask you this.
50
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:10,020
Is being found a state that can only be
entered by those who are lost?
51
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,100
Oh, existential, my brother. Not to
mention pragmatic.
52
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,079
I want you to meet my dad, Dr. Huxley.
What is his power?
53
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,000
Oh, nice to meet you, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. My pleasure.
54
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,760
Are you a doctor of medicine or of
philosophy?
55
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,700
Officially, medicine.
56
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:31,280
But I am always searching for truth and
what is real.
57
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,180
Because the real is rational.
58
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,360
And what is rational is real.
59
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,360
George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. Oh, the
boy is mean.
60
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,900
How does he know that, Dad? I think.
61
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,440
Therefore, I am.
62
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:52,900
Jay Carr.
63
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Ontologist.
64
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000
Deal with it.
65
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,460
Hi, Justine. I thought you were bringing
Julia.
66
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,900
Yeah, you said we were finally going to
meet her. You will.
67
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:07,000
I asked her to come over, and I also
asked her to be on time.
68
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:11,540
A stitch in time saves nine.
69
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,420
Well, you know, actually, that saying is
derived from the Roman poet Ovid.
70
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:21,320
who wrote, Speak
71
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:28,120
the Latin. Speak the Latin, my friend.
72
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:34,980
Well, I have to go downstairs, but I
will be right back, which is a dimension
73
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:38,000
time as opposed to right now.
74
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,120
I'll get it.
75
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:56,010
Oh, yeah.
76
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,510
Huxtable residence.
77
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,430
Hi, Julia.
78
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,090
Howard, I'm sorry I'm late. Oh, it's all
right.
79
00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:06,130
Oh, hey, no problem.
80
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:09,030
I'm very glad you made it.
81
00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:17,590
To discuss philosophy, which is why
we're all here, right? Well, let's get
82
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,290
started. We can go upstairs and start
discussing philosophy.
83
00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:21,590
That is.
84
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,640
Kind of why we're all here.
85
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,480
Oh,
86
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:28,260
Julia, you met Justine.
87
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,320
Hey, hey, hey, where you going?
88
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,140
We're going to my room to discuss
philosophy, Dad.
89
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,300
Yeah, well, make sure everybody's
vertical.
90
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,120
Give it up. Give it up, I say.
91
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,340
Hi, Ned. Hey, what's happening? Okay.
92
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:57,620
Honey, sit down.
93
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:02,220
No, no, Elvin. If I sit down there, I'm
never going to get up.
94
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,800
Well, you better do the thing, man.
95
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:06,180
There you go.
96
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,860
All right.
97
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,000
Yeah, because you see, Elvin, you don't
understand.
98
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:15,660
The woman in that situation, they sit on
the sofa like this. They can't come up
99
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:18,240
out of it. And everybody's left, and
they're still sitting there.
100
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:23,380
She's going to deliver any second now.
Really? Oh, Elvin, I am not.
101
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,020
Honey, that was a contraction you had in
the car on the way here. It was not. It
102
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,380
was a pre -labor contraction.
103
00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:32,040
Dad, I've been having these for the last
two days now. Elvin has rushed me to
104
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,580
the hospital three times, and each time
they've sent us home.
105
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,600
I'm timing it, Dad. Since the one in the
car, it's been eight minutes and 38
106
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:45,320
seconds. If the next one comes in below
15 minutes, then you've got something to
107
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,860
work with. Eight minutes, 48, 49.
108
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,490
Is Mom here? Yeah, in the kitchen.
109
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:56,190
There you go. You okay, honey? Yes, I'm
fine. You gonna be all right? Yes, thank
110
00:07:56,190 --> 00:07:59,250
you. All right. Put your arms out. You
don't want to open the door with it.
111
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:10,510
Do you think I'm overreacting, Dad?
Listen, man, that's my daughter and my
112
00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:12,670
grandchild. You overreact all day.
113
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,390
You never do anything better the rest of
your life.
114
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:16,990
Overreact now.
115
00:08:18,359 --> 00:08:22,000
Would you please tell me what this watch
is?
116
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:24,440
I bought this for Sandra's pregnancy.
117
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:29,580
Yeah, but Alvin, this is one of those
cheap watches from the wilderness store.
118
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,780
The only thing this is good for is
clocking how far the geese go south.
119
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,400
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be
pregnant forever.
120
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,039
This is your first child, Sandra. They
always make you suffer the most, even
121
00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:42,999
after they're born.
122
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,420
Hey, I was your first born. I know.
123
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,080
All right.
124
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,480
Hi,
125
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:51,520
Mom. Sandra, I'm sorry I left you alone.
126
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,940
It was only for 36 seconds. Are you
okay?
127
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,040
Yes, I'm fine. Any pain?
128
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:58,740
Yes, you.
129
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:05,020
What? Oh, I need to lie down. No, no,
don't let her lie down. Don't let
130
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:11,900
her lie down. Mom, I need to lie down.
Honey, no. Come on, do your job,
131
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,600
boy. All right, hold on. Don't let her
lie down.
132
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:17,790
Okay, I think there's... What time?
What? Time.
133
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:22,190
Ten minutes, thirty -eight seconds. All
right. I think this is... Traction! It's
134
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:25,730
time! The car! The hospital! The father!
Oh, Elton! Please!
135
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:30,050
Take it easy. Stop stepping upon me.
Right, right. I will call Dr.
136
00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:35,090
Taylor and get everything all set up.
Yes. Yes, I agree. Oh, but Dad, now
137
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:39,250
remember, you promised Elton and I no
special treatment at the hospital. Okay,
138
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:42,210
fine. I'll just have him set up a tent
out in the parking lot.
139
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:45,940
I'll get the car.
140
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,320
Do you have your bags packed, honey?
141
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,580
Yes, Dad. The bag's in the trunk. Elvin
packed it the day he found out I was
142
00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:53,580
pregnant.
143
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,460
All right.
144
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,140
There you go.
145
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:59,440
Oh, baby. Oh, my baby.
146
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:00,680
Come on.
147
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,280
Wait a minute. Elvin!
148
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,130
Thibodeau, you'll come with me to the
room. Mr.
149
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:25,970
Thibodeau, you can fill out the forms
with the nurse at the desk.
150
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:27,630
Mr. Thibodeau.
151
00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,010
Mr. Thibodeau.
152
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:30,230
Honey,
153
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,250
it's okay.
154
00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:33,530
Yeah?
155
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:35,390
Okay.
156
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:37,369
Bye -bye, honey.
157
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,490
Okay, thank you.
158
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:39,910
Don't start without me.
159
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,119
Uh -huh.
160
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,160
Mm, I know.
161
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,600
Sure.
162
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:57,900
Okay, bye.
163
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,220
Fill out the forms.
164
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,580
I need to fill out some forms right
away.
165
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:04,940
Oh,
166
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,540
Jill, I have to fill out some forms,
too? I'm sorry, pal, I have to go first.
167
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,660
wife's having a baby. Well, my wife's
having a baby, too.
168
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:12,780
My wife.
169
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,220
She's still in the car.
170
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,760
Can you believe some people?
171
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,040
Let me help you. Just answer the
following questions. Name?
172
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:26,819
Thibodeau, Sandra.
173
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,080
Your first name is Sandra?
174
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,500
No. No, that's my wife's name. What's
your name?
175
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,200
Thibodeau, Elvin.
176
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,840
T -I -B -I -D -E -A -U -X. Thank you.
Insurance?
177
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,160
Yes.
178
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,280
What's the name of your insurance?
179
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,900
Medical.
180
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:47,360
What's the name of the company that
issues your insurance?
181
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,080
Oh, it's in my wallet.
182
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:51,860
I don't have my wallet.
183
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,740
Is it Blue Cross? Is it Northwest?
184
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:56,960
Is it Continental?
185
00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:58,400
Yes. Continental.
186
00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:00,020
No, no.
187
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:01,820
Wait a minute. I can't remember.
188
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,460
Oh, it's the one with the buffalo on the
commercial.
189
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,020
Buffalo. Yes.
190
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:16,720
No, no. It's a moose or... An elk.
191
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,940
It has four legs. It's dependable.
192
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:21,260
What's more dependable, a moose or an
elf?
193
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,660
We'll leave this blank for now.
194
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:27,460
Okay. What is your wife's maiden name?
195
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,780
Huxtable, Sandra.
196
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,280
You're Sandra Huxtable, Sandra?
197
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:34,740
Yes, Huxtable, Elvin, Thibodeau. Don't
worry about anything.
198
00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:38,960
Dr. Huxtable has already filled this out
for you. Oh, I love my father -in -law.
199
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,139
He's a saint.
200
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:41,880
You've got the best room in the house,
number 102.
201
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,640
Just go on in. Thank you. Thank you so
much.
202
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,560
Mr. Thibodeau? Yes?
203
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,580
You're heading toward the parking lot.
Room 102 is the other way. Thank you.
204
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:50,940
I'm new at this.
205
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:44,939
working.
206
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:54,420
Well, I'll tell you, this is the first
time I've been on this
207
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,060
side in a long, long time.
208
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,760
Yes, I have to sit here and wait and
wait.
209
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,160
Sandra and Elvin don't want us at the
hospital.
210
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,940
Well, that's all right. You know, I can
understand that. I know how you and I
211
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,020
felt. Remember?
212
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:11,900
Long
213
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,540
That's it. That's it. Here we go.
214
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:30,160
Nobody's going to tell me when I can go.
I work at the hospital. I go there.
215
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,599
Mom and Dad?
216
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,320
I think your sister's having her baby.
217
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,060
Unbelievable!
218
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,280
I'm going to be an aunt! A baby? Wow!
219
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,460
Oh, I hope it's a boy. Well, unless it's
a girl. I mean, what difference does it
220
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,480
make a boy or a girl? I mean, you're
still going to love it and hug it and
221
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,580
it and kiss it and change it. And when
it gets older, you might even play
222
00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,160
baseball or field hockey with it. Unless
it doesn't like sports, but then it can
223
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,100
dance the same. Unless it likes to play
famous. Then you can say, I knew that
224
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,100
baby when.
225
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,040
for one thing, because they're going to
always ask you to babysit because of
226
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,920
your aunt, and they never pay you. I
mean, they never pay you. And another
227
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,140
about little babies, they'll never pick
one up when you're going out on a date
228
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:14,020
because they always spit up in your
sweater. I don't know what it is.
229
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:25,800
I'd like Mr. Blenhart to
230
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,300
give me one liter of fluid prior to
epidural.
231
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:29,739
Yes, doctor.
232
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:30,679
I'll go check.
233
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,200
Today's the big day, doctor. Big. Best
of luck. Luck.
234
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:34,730
She's in room 102.
235
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:38,590
Hey, Dr.
236
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:39,889
Huxwell, Mrs.
237
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:43,770
Huxwell. I'm glad to see you. Well, how
are you? You all are not checking up on
238
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:47,730
me, are you? Not in the least. You were
my prized student. So how's it going,
239
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,690
Dr. Huxwell? Well, it's going good.
Everything's fine.
240
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:52,570
Well, there is one light problem.
241
00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:53,790
What is it?
242
00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:55,070
Come on in.
243
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,150
I can't...
244
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,500
Alvin's hyperventilating. Mom, Dad, I'm
glad you're here.
245
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,420
I'm sorry you have to see me like this.
246
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,440
Slowly,
247
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:14,860
breathe.
248
00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:19,460
Why did this have to happen? I want it
to be strong for Sandra.
249
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,860
It's okay, Alvin. This happens to a lot
of fathers.
250
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,560
Although I've never seen a case this
severe.
251
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,460
Dad, I hope you're not disappointed in
me, Dad.
252
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,140
Good. I'm a little nervous.
253
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:48,740
You have every right to be. I know. I've
been there.
254
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,620
But your doctor's here, and you're ready
for this. You'll be fine.
255
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,440
Well, you know what I said about not
wanting you here?
256
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,740
Yes. I'm glad you didn't listen to me.
Yes.
257
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,620
Hey, folks, look.
258
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,020
I think I'm okay now.
259
00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:03,920
Hey, look.
260
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,900
Look, I'm breathing.
261
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:06,940
Oh, God.
262
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:08,980
I've never breathed this well in all my
life.
263
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,339
Oh, it feels great to be alive.
264
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:28,050
Then I think we're ready for delivery.
Would you please do whatever Dr.
265
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:30,470
Taylor said? I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank
you.
266
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:34,190
Miss McKechnie, could you please do
everything the good doctor just said?
267
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:37,870
Taylor, may I say something, please?
Sure. Now, the father is a wreck and the
268
00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:40,830
grandfather is a nuisance. And I think
people should go out into the hall so
269
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,290
can do your work. So, Elvin and Cliff,
get out.
270
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:49,450
We're having a baby. Elvin, get out.
271
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,120
Now, you go out there and collect
yourself so you can come back.
272
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:54,080
Just breathe in the bag, boy.
273
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,300
Okay,
274
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,940
Howard, let me pose this question to
you.
275
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,600
If one person breaks a promise, does
that make it all right for every other
276
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,940
person in the world to break a promise?
277
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:12,200
Well, according to Kant's categorical
imperative, it doesn't matter what the
278
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,140
circumstances are, moral action must
hold true universally.
279
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,460
That's exactly what I had in my notes.
280
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,260
Really? Why don't you read to us what
you had in your note?
281
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:25,960
Read to you?
282
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:30,060
I'll get it.
283
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:35,220
I tried to read Theo's notes. Forget
about it.
284
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,199
Hey, Kenny.
285
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,200
Hi, is Rudy here?
286
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,400
Oh, no, she went to the Bronx to do with
Carolyn's family. She'll be back.
287
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,780
Can I wait for her? Sure, why not? Come
on in.
288
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,760
Kara and Vanessa are upstairs, so you
can hang out with them.
289
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Girls? No, thanks.
290
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,280
I'll hang out with you.
291
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,080
Well, I have some friends over and we're
studying philosophy.
292
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:54,580
I'll just sit there and listen.
293
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,500
I've been trained to be seen but not
heard.
294
00:18:58,660 --> 00:18:59,780
All right, come on.
295
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,080
What's the gift?
296
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,560
A Christmas present for Rudy. I do my
shopping early.
297
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,660
Theo, do you have any more notepads?
298
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,720
I'll bring one in with me.
299
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:22,310
Now that a woman.
300
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:30,690
Hey, everybody. This is Kenny. He's
going to hang out with us.
301
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:32,690
Hi. Hi.
302
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,410
I'm Rudy's friend.
303
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:36,610
But we're not serious.
304
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,750
What did I miss?
305
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:43,490
We were discussing the tendencies of all
civilizations to oppress other
306
00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:47,190
civilizations. Oh, you mean man's
inhumanity to man.
307
00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,570
Or woman.
308
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,620
That's right. Why do people always say
man? Why can't it be people than
309
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,620
to people?
310
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,860
Because it's a given that when you say
man, it includes woman.
311
00:19:57,180 --> 00:20:01,040
You know, that's the whole problem.
Society is geared to think of men first
312
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:01,839
then women.
313
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,760
Yes, and have you noticed all these
philosophers that we're talking about
314
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,980
men? Well, that's because until recent
history, all the great thinkers have
315
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:08,980
men.
316
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,960
That's because women weren't seen as
equal.
317
00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:16,580
And I'm sure there were women who were
even more brilliant than those men.
318
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:23,600
I'm sorry. All we have to go by are
these brilliant essays written by men.
319
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,380
That's because they probably had their
girlfriends type them.
320
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:28,679
Hey, hey.
321
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,380
We're turning this whole thing into a
man versus woman discussion.
322
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,620
Of course we are, because sexism has
been around forever.
323
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:35,980
I agree.
324
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,780
Take this little boy here, for example.
He probably already has some
325
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,540
preconceived ideas about women.
326
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,960
Kelly, you've heard us talking. What's
your opinion?
327
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:49,160
I never let her warm type of paper.
328
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,040
She should be home cooking my dinner.
329
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,380
Now, look at what I have.
330
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,880
Huh?
331
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:12,160
All right. Now, this is what's going to
happen for you.
332
00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:14,660
You're going to have a little baby. See?
333
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,860
Problem with most people?
334
00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:23,030
They don't know how to pick the baby up.
See, they think it's so fragile, and
335
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:26,670
they pick it, you know, on the kid, and
then the head falls back this way.
336
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:32,690
Now, what you want to do is you look
down and a little bit... And
337
00:21:32,690 --> 00:21:36,690
you do the legs like this, see?
338
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:42,290
And then you put your hand like this,
and you just scoop, just like that.
339
00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:44,890
You got it? Hello.
340
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:47,900
Go ahead and try.
341
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,420
There you are. Just put it.
342
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,740
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
343
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,240
Scoop. There you go. All right. Make
sure the legs are over here. That's it.
344
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,900
want to keep the head from falling all
over the place, see?
345
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,700
Dad, Dad, really, there's no way I'm
going to learn how to do this. No, no,
346
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,440
Elvin. Come on, come on. You're being
too hard on yourself. Now, come on.
347
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,720
Dad, all the evidence is there.
348
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,500
I almost fainted in the labor room.
349
00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:13,620
I almost fainted when she had a
contraction.
350
00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:15,020
And...
351
00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:19,540
What was most embarrassing, when we were
on the way here in the car, I had to
352
00:22:19,540 --> 00:22:21,820
pull over and let her drive.
353
00:22:27,620 --> 00:22:29,020
You just need time.
354
00:22:29,420 --> 00:22:32,860
It's easy for you to say, Dad, you've
been through this five times. You're the
355
00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:34,720
world's most perfect father.
356
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:42,920
I wouldn't say that. I shouldn't say
perfect. I hear what your kids say about
357
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:43,920
you.
358
00:22:47,140 --> 00:22:51,640
What? You hear what my kids say. What?
359
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,140
It's little things. It's nothing big.
Little things what?
360
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,280
Well, like you're kind of stubborn.
361
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,100
And you never admit your mistakes.
362
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:05,340
You're tight with money.
363
00:23:07,940 --> 00:23:08,940
That's enough.
364
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:13,260
But, Dad, they really love you. That's
what I'm saying.
365
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,920
Yeah. Your children will love you, too.
Yeah, but what if I make some horrible
366
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:22,700
mistake raising it? I mean, it's this
little defenseless, you know, person.
367
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,200
if I do something that makes it sick?
368
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:31,360
Oh, don't worry about it. You just have
to realize that this is a human being,
369
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,520
and you have to go with the flow.
370
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,600
Claire and I had your wife.
371
00:23:37,020 --> 00:23:42,000
We sterilized everything. We sterilized
the people. We sprayed the people. Made
372
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,700
them put masks on. And we kept all the
food and that was sterilized. And then I
373
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:49,940
looked out the window one day. I don't
know how old she was, but she was out
374
00:23:49,940 --> 00:23:52,660
there crawling around in her sterilized
clothing.
375
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,420
And she was eating dirt.
376
00:23:58,540 --> 00:24:04,220
You just have to use common sense. Do I
have common sense?
377
00:24:06,449 --> 00:24:11,890
Elvin, if you have to ask me if you have
time or sense, you know.
378
00:24:13,030 --> 00:24:14,030
Elvin. What?
379
00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:16,030
Elvin, the doctor says it's going to be
soon.
380
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:18,710
Soon? Yes, darling, soon. You better get
in there.
381
00:24:19,610 --> 00:24:23,270
Okay. All right, let's hit it. I'm
ready. I can't believe it, but I'm
382
00:24:24,850 --> 00:24:28,490
We're not going to hit it? No, they're
going to hit it. But I'm a doctor. You
383
00:24:28,490 --> 00:24:29,249
don't understand.
384
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:32,070
Honey, I know who you are, but they can
do this by themselves.
385
00:24:32,950 --> 00:24:35,270
They don't want that in the room, huh?
386
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:39,390
Darling, we're going to have to sit here
like everybody else.
387
00:24:40,010 --> 00:24:41,010
Scoop. Yeah.
388
00:24:41,270 --> 00:24:44,730
Huh? Do you remember that? Let me see
it. Let me see it again.
389
00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:47,610
Grab the little leg. Wah, wah. Yeah,
that's right.
390
00:24:48,290 --> 00:24:49,850
And scoop.
391
00:24:50,070 --> 00:24:52,550
You know, we're going to have to do
that, I'll bet you.
392
00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,770
We're going to have to do it. Yes,
indeed.
393
00:24:55,310 --> 00:24:58,630
We're going to have to reach down
because we'll be older. That'll be our
394
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,190
grandchild because it'll be a boy.
395
00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:02,150
You see. You sure?
396
00:25:02,410 --> 00:25:03,590
Named after me.
397
00:25:03,830 --> 00:25:07,130
It might be a girl named after me. Still
named after me.
398
00:25:07,570 --> 00:25:08,570
Heathcliff female.
399
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:13,230
Reach right on down. Say, this your
granddad?
400
00:25:13,790 --> 00:25:14,950
Scoop. Hello.
401
00:25:15,210 --> 00:25:16,490
And you go into helmet.
402
00:25:16,730 --> 00:25:18,390
Put a big H on her forehead.
403
00:25:53,740 --> 00:25:54,960
You're nervous, aren't you?
404
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,620
No. Yes, you are. You are nervous,
Cliff. No, I'm not. You're rubbing your
405
00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:05,980
You've been doing that since medical
school, you know. Every night before a
406
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:08,520
major exam, you sit there and rub your
head like that. I used to think you'd be
407
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,520
bald.
408
00:26:14,420 --> 00:26:15,420
I'm not nervous.
409
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:16,700
Yep, you're nervous.
410
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,660
Huh? No, no, no, no.
411
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:20,020
What are you talking about?
412
00:26:20,060 --> 00:26:21,060
Then what is that?
413
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,780
That's my foot going like this.
414
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,200
But you see, you're the one who's
nervous.
415
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:33,460
No, I'm not. Yes, you are, because you
would not notice these things unless you
416
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,720
were nervous, and so you're trying to
put it on me.
417
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:40,440
I'm not nervous, but you are getting on
my nerves.
418
00:26:41,060 --> 00:26:43,600
Well, excuse me for being on this
planet.
419
00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,740
Please don't sit there like a block of
wood.
420
00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:55,100
Oh, yes. Well?
421
00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:56,820
Nothing yet. It was a false alarm.
422
00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:58,180
What do you mean, false alarm?
423
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,560
She was fully dilated, and I really
thought the baby was coming, but she's
424
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,880
little more pushing to do. Are you
trying to get overtime?
425
00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:07,740
How is Sandra?
426
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,060
She's terrific. I mean, she has
tremendous spirit, you know. She's
427
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:13,400
I'd imagine your daughter to be. All
right. How's Elvin?
428
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:14,760
Still on his feet.
429
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,620
Miss Pucks, why don't you go in and be
with her for a while?
430
00:27:19,449 --> 00:27:21,770
Absolutely. Oh, actually, she only asked
for her.
431
00:27:24,330 --> 00:27:27,290
All you people are having a lot of fun
with me, aren't you?
432
00:27:33,350 --> 00:27:36,090
Well, is it a boy or a girl?
433
00:27:36,330 --> 00:27:39,630
Well, nothing yet. Nothing yet. How much
time have you got, son?
434
00:27:39,890 --> 00:27:43,710
Oh, I don't know, Dad. Seems like
anywhere from one minute to 11 years.
435
00:27:44,770 --> 00:27:48,110
It's a good thing we have some time here
because your mother and I want to talk
436
00:27:48,110 --> 00:27:48,669
to you.
437
00:27:48,670 --> 00:27:49,850
Really? About what?
438
00:27:50,090 --> 00:27:55,290
Son, you know, we've been very proud of
the way you've functioned as a father,
439
00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:57,670
but now you're moving on to a higher
level.
440
00:27:58,830 --> 00:27:59,830
Grandparent.
441
00:28:00,030 --> 00:28:03,670
Grandparent. Yes, and now he's cliffed.
There are only two kinds of grandparents
442
00:28:03,670 --> 00:28:04,670
in this world.
443
00:28:04,790 --> 00:28:09,270
Good grandparents and bad grandparents.
I see. Now, what are you two?
444
00:28:09,610 --> 00:28:10,610
In no way.
445
00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:18,870
We're tremendous, son.
446
00:28:19,230 --> 00:28:23,590
I see. And we want you to be tremendous,
too. Thank you. How do I do that? Now,
447
00:28:23,590 --> 00:28:25,230
this is the most important rule.
448
00:28:26,070 --> 00:28:31,970
Now, the grandparents must never try to
take away any time from the people that
449
00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:35,630
are most important to that child, the
great -grandparents.
450
00:28:40,590 --> 00:28:46,990
All right, thanks, Dad. Hang in there.
You'll make it.
451
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,240
Bye.
452
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,260
Sandra had a false alarm.
453
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,319
How's she doing?
454
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:52,580
Doctor says she's great.
455
00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:54,360
Sandra's tough. She'll do fine.
456
00:28:54,660 --> 00:28:56,260
You know what we should do for your mom
and dad?
457
00:28:57,140 --> 00:29:00,800
When they come back from the hospital,
let's have dinner with him. Julia,
458
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,740
an extremely thoughtful idea.
459
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:08,760
You are so considerate. You know, I'll
look for my cookbook and see what I can
460
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,580
find. Your cookbook?
461
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,180
You cook for him?
462
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:17,380
With two parents who both have careers,
I'm called on all the time to feed the
463
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:18,380
family.
464
00:29:20,340 --> 00:29:24,280
I can recall a time being here when your
parents were at work and you asked me
465
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,000
to make you a peanut butter sandwich.
466
00:29:27,540 --> 00:29:29,120
What if we make spaghetti and meatballs?
467
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,820
Well, I usually make fancier dishes, but
I'm game to try something ordinary.
468
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:39,220
Justine, why don't we go and get some
dessert while the men do the cooking?
469
00:29:39,460 --> 00:29:40,460
Sure.
470
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,200
All right.
471
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:43,440
We'll hurry back. Okay.
472
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:45,780
See you later, honey.
473
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:52,300
Howard, let's go.
474
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:53,460
After you, monsieur.
475
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,600
Got it.
476
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,060
Do you have any tomatoes?
477
00:29:59,420 --> 00:30:01,420
I don't know. What do we need tomatoes
for?
478
00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:03,820
Sauce. Oh, yeah, right.
479
00:30:04,060 --> 00:30:05,060
Yeah, right.
480
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,940
Oh, all right. We'll start with these.
What do you have?
481
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,900
Green peppers. Okay.
482
00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:14,460
Green pepper number one.
483
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:15,840
Number two.
484
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,400
Yeah.
485
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,900
All right, you chop the green peppers
and I'll slice the tomatoes. You got it.
486
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,360
I hope I'm not getting too personal, but
I sense some tension between you and
487
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,840
Justine. Oh, man, you're not a
relationship star. You have your good
488
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:33,759
bad times.
489
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:34,760
I know what you mean.
490
00:30:35,140 --> 00:30:38,800
Justine and I have gone out for a while
and I really like her, but I'm not so
491
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,160
sure she's the one.
492
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,140
Maybe there's somebody else out there
for me. Like Julia?
493
00:30:43,380 --> 00:30:44,680
Yeah. No.
494
00:30:48,660 --> 00:30:51,040
I don't mean Julia in particular.
495
00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:53,020
Someone like her. Or maybe not.
496
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,380
You see, you're not doing a good job
disguising your feelings for Julia.
497
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:57,579
Is that obvious?
498
00:30:57,580 --> 00:30:58,580
I'm afraid so.
499
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:01,380
What can I say? She's a spectacular
looking woman.
500
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:02,900
I know.
501
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,340
Howard, can I ask you a personal
question?
502
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:09,680
Of course.
503
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,100
How did you end up with her?
504
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,480
No, not that you shouldn't. I'm just
curious.
505
00:31:18,820 --> 00:31:22,720
I know I'm not the greatest looking guy
in the world, but Julia told me she
506
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:23,960
finds my intellect appealing.
507
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,320
The better I do in my grades, the more
she gets excited.
508
00:31:27,980 --> 00:31:30,280
Why do you think I work my tail off
while there's A pluses?
509
00:31:35,620 --> 00:31:36,620
That's it?
510
00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:37,740
There's nothing more?
511
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:39,420
No, I'm not athletic.
512
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,640
I don't dance very well. I don't own a
car. I'm always broke.
513
00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:46,620
So it's just great.
514
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,520
Well, no, I treat her nicely, too. We
have lots of fun together.
515
00:31:50,940 --> 00:31:52,920
Sounds like you're in this for the long
haul.
516
00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:55,280
That's the biggest problem with me and
Julia.
517
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,440
She wants a commitment. I'm not ready.
518
00:32:02,140 --> 00:32:04,240
You're not ready to commit to Julia?
519
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,760
How could you do better? It's not a
matter of doing better. It's a matter of
520
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,760
feeling right.
521
00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:12,350
And at the moment, I'm not sure if I
just want to give myself over completely
522
00:32:12,350 --> 00:32:18,450
Julia. Man, up until now, I thought you
were the smartest guy I ever met.
523
00:32:21,650 --> 00:32:22,910
Russell, what are you doing?
524
00:32:23,330 --> 00:32:25,610
How does mother and father come in,
dear?
525
00:32:27,330 --> 00:32:31,230
Hey, I can't believe the traffic in the
city.
526
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:36,260
They should take away the license of
half the people on the road.
527
00:32:36,540 --> 00:32:40,900
Lester, you didn't help things. You had
your hand on the horn for the last 11
528
00:32:40,900 --> 00:32:45,240
miles. There's a whole lot of numbskulls
and nincompoops out there. Hello,
529
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,780
everybody. Sorry to be late.
530
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,880
Who is Sondra? Fine. It's going to be in
a minute now. And how's our son doing?
531
00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:55,700
Mom, he is a pillar of strength. He's
just like a rock.
532
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,240
Giffy, you're lying to me, Phil.
533
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,720
I know my boy, and he can't take the
pressure.
534
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,360
He fainted.
535
00:33:05,580 --> 00:33:06,580
Right?
536
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,160
Well, just once.
537
00:33:08,380 --> 00:33:11,380
But other than that, he's just fine.
He's fine, really.
538
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,840
What did you two bring?
539
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,160
Lester started buying toys three months
ago.
540
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,740
Boy, you all are going to make us look
bad.
541
00:33:20,380 --> 00:33:25,020
You all buy the toys. We'll take care of
the accessories like the bottles, the
542
00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:26,020
diapers, okay?
543
00:33:26,060 --> 00:33:27,060
Deal. Deal.
544
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:32,220
If Elvin hadn't lost his good sense and
gone into this crazy wilderness store
545
00:33:32,220 --> 00:33:35,580
business, he could afford to buy what
the child needs. I don't know what
546
00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,280
possessed him to drop out of medical
school.
547
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,560
After watching him, I think I know.
548
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:47,160
No, no, I mean, every time Sandra went,
whoo, Elvin went, I ain't got no money.
549
00:33:48,140 --> 00:33:52,280
You know, we were all very disappointed
when both Elvin and Sondra didn't go to
550
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,159
graduate school.
551
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,100
Cliff and Claire offered to pay the
tuition, but they turned them down.
552
00:33:56,380 --> 00:33:57,279
I know.
553
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,260
Man, when I heard that Elvin turned on
free money, I nearly started to cry.
554
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,680
Cliff, anytime you want to send me to
medical school, I'm ready.
555
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:13,120
I promise you, I'm not going to part
now. All right.
556
00:34:14,350 --> 00:34:17,150
Oh, Francine, must have you made it just
in time. Honey, it's happening. It is,
557
00:34:17,150 --> 00:34:19,750
really? I saw the top of the head.
558
00:34:20,630 --> 00:34:24,010
It was the prettiest little top of the
head I ever saw.
559
00:34:25,909 --> 00:34:27,409
Whose top of the head does it look like?
560
00:34:34,929 --> 00:34:35,929
Breathe.
561
00:34:36,130 --> 00:34:36,968
Breathe, honey.
562
00:34:36,969 --> 00:34:40,050
Breathe, honey. I want to push. No, no,
no, not yet. Honey, breathe, honey. Look
563
00:34:40,050 --> 00:34:42,270
at me. We'll breathe together, okay?
Don't fall. Don't fall.
564
00:34:43,469 --> 00:34:44,830
Can I push now, please?
565
00:34:45,090 --> 00:34:46,090
Yes, push.
566
00:34:46,530 --> 00:34:47,530
Honey, push.
567
00:34:48,270 --> 00:34:49,188
Honey, push.
568
00:34:49,190 --> 00:34:50,929
Come on, come on. Give me a big one.
Give me a big one.
569
00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:52,550
Give me a big one.
570
00:34:53,330 --> 00:34:54,330
Dr.
571
00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:58,310
Davis, telephone, please.
572
00:34:58,590 --> 00:35:00,470
Dr. Davis, telephone, please.
573
00:35:05,330 --> 00:35:06,249
Push, honey.
574
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:07,330
Push. Push.
575
00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:08,930
Okay, here's the head.
576
00:35:09,290 --> 00:35:10,770
Okay, it's on its way now. All right.
577
00:35:11,050 --> 00:35:12,050
Push.
578
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,120
We're almost there, honey. We're almost
there. What do you mean, we?
579
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,400
Keep pushing.
580
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:18,040
Keep pushing.
581
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:19,238
All right.
582
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:20,760
You're doing fine. You're doing fine.
583
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:22,920
There you go. There you go.
584
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,040
It's a boy.
585
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,120
It's a boy. A boy?
586
00:35:51,690 --> 00:35:53,270
parents of a healthy boy.
587
00:35:56,430 --> 00:35:58,790
And a girl.
588
00:36:02,530 --> 00:36:04,070
What? Twins?
589
00:36:04,290 --> 00:36:05,290
Two babies?
590
00:36:05,650 --> 00:36:08,010
Yes. Two babies, better known as twins.
591
00:36:08,270 --> 00:36:13,010
A boy and a girl. Boy, five pounds, ten
ounces. Girl, five pounds, twelve
592
00:36:13,010 --> 00:36:15,050
ounces. When you all knew about this?
593
00:36:15,530 --> 00:36:17,530
Months ago, when we saw it on the
sonogram.
594
00:36:17,850 --> 00:36:21,030
See, Sandra and Elvin wanted it to be a
surprise for you.
595
00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:25,609
How is Sandra?
596
00:36:25,610 --> 00:36:27,950
Fine. She's waiting to see all of you.
Let's go.
597
00:36:30,550 --> 00:36:31,550
Dr.
598
00:36:35,230 --> 00:36:38,590
Taylor. Let me see you for a second,
please.
599
00:36:40,510 --> 00:36:42,590
Dr. Taylor, I taught you everything you
know.
600
00:36:43,110 --> 00:36:46,570
And you know everything that I know.
601
00:36:46,970 --> 00:36:50,570
Why is it that I only know 50 % of what
you know?
602
00:36:52,390 --> 00:36:53,430
Well, I told you.
603
00:36:53,790 --> 00:36:54,810
Everything that I know.
604
00:36:55,190 --> 00:36:58,370
So now you know everything that I know.
605
00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:06,210
Thank you very much. I will just make
sure that my daughter and her husband
606
00:37:06,210 --> 00:37:09,270
will name none of the children after
you.
607
00:37:10,490 --> 00:37:11,870
I already know the names.
608
00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:26,610
You did great.
609
00:37:27,530 --> 00:37:28,530
So did you.
610
00:37:30,050 --> 00:37:32,550
No, no. You did a lot better than I did.
611
00:37:36,070 --> 00:37:37,590
Baby. Oh, baby.
612
00:37:37,890 --> 00:37:38,890
Oh, Mom.
613
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:40,330
It was so hard.
614
00:37:40,630 --> 00:37:41,630
I know.
615
00:37:42,310 --> 00:37:43,670
Sandra. Oh, Grandma.
616
00:37:44,170 --> 00:37:45,170
Hi, sweetheart.
617
00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:46,350
Mom.
618
00:37:46,610 --> 00:37:50,370
Oh, I can't wait for you to see the
babies. They are so beautiful. Did you
619
00:37:50,370 --> 00:37:51,810
the doctor give you anything for the
pain?
620
00:37:52,140 --> 00:37:55,380
Well, I wasn't going to, but when the
pain hit, I didn't think I was going to
621
00:37:55,380 --> 00:37:58,760
make it. Honey, that is all right. There
were a couple of times I was grateful
622
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,040
for anesthesia. I kissed my
anesthesiologist.
623
00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:05,640
Hey, with Heathcliff, I was out cold the
whole time.
624
00:38:07,380 --> 00:38:09,260
No one's asking me how I'm doing.
625
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,240
Because you don't count.
626
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,160
It was unbelievable. It was a miracle.
627
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,460
I can't describe what it was like when I
saw that little fade.
628
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,380
And the ten little fingers and ten
little toes.
629
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,720
And then another little face.
630
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,880
Another ten little fingers and ten
little toes. Twenty little fingers and
631
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:31,779
little toes.
632
00:38:31,780 --> 00:38:36,380
Even though they couldn't see and they
couldn't speak, when I held them in my
633
00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:39,700
arms, it felt as if they knew that I was
their father.
634
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,280
It was unbelievable. One of each.
635
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:47,080
And both of them from inside the body of
this beautiful woman.
636
00:38:50,580 --> 00:38:55,760
One of each I looked at them and they
looked at me and I looked at her And
637
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:56,760
it came to me.
638
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:04,220
I Made a decision mom Dad everybody I'm
going back to medical
639
00:39:04,220 --> 00:39:05,220
school
640
00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:22,810
Vanessa, let's go. Dad will be here any
minute to take us to the hospital.
641
00:39:23,270 --> 00:39:24,270
Okay.
642
00:39:24,710 --> 00:39:27,290
I had a good time today, Theo. I'm glad,
Kenny.
643
00:39:27,530 --> 00:39:29,930
I like your friends, especially the fox.
644
00:39:31,210 --> 00:39:34,350
Ken, forget it. Julia is ten years older
than you.
645
00:39:34,590 --> 00:39:38,050
That's the way I like them. Women live
longer than men, so I'm going to marry
646
00:39:38,050 --> 00:39:39,050
older woman.
647
00:39:39,890 --> 00:39:42,530
You don't marry a woman just because
she's older.
648
00:39:42,770 --> 00:39:44,430
Man, don't you want to be in love?
649
00:39:44,930 --> 00:39:45,930
I don't need love.
650
00:39:46,819 --> 00:39:48,840
Just knowing I want to outlive her will
make me happy.
651
00:39:52,700 --> 00:39:55,480
Theo, let's go meet your niece and your
nephew. Vanessa!
652
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,440
I'll be right down.
653
00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:00,900
I thought Dad was coming to pick us up.
Yeah, he was, but he had to stay at the
654
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,100
hospital and deliver a baby.
655
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:07,300
Great. Mom, I have some spaghetti and
meatballs waiting for us in the kitchen.
656
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:08,560
Oh, Theo, thank you.
657
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,400
Vanessa!
658
00:40:17,070 --> 00:40:17,549
I had twins.
659
00:40:17,550 --> 00:40:20,730
I'd call them Ann and Dan or Sue and Lou
or Betty and Freddie or Jill and Bill
660
00:40:20,730 --> 00:40:23,730
or Sam and Pam or Joel and Flo or even
Stephanie and Edgar. I mean, they don't
661
00:40:23,730 --> 00:40:24,770
all have to rhyme. Well,
662
00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:28,190
you go ahead. I'm going to stay here and
warm up dinner because I know you guys
663
00:40:28,190 --> 00:40:29,990
are going to get back. You're going to
be so hungry. I mean, no one's going to
664
00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:32,330
be really hungry when you're excited for
a really long time. When that happens
665
00:40:32,330 --> 00:40:35,750
to me, my mouth is dry and my head is
light and my stomach's empty and my
666
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:38,150
are all sweaty and my feet are aching. I
mean, I'm just starving. I could eat
667
00:40:38,150 --> 00:40:40,730
anything. Anything. Just anything. I'm
just starving. I'm getting hungry just
668
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,530
thinking about it. Come on, Kenny. Let's
get something to eat.
669
00:40:42,750 --> 00:40:44,190
I hope you don't eat the way you took.
670
00:40:53,740 --> 00:40:56,640
I thought you were bringing the kids.
Oh, I brought them. They're down there
671
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,640
with son.
672
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,380
Aren't they beautiful?
673
00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:01,840
Beautiful. They're exquisite.
674
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:08,180
Well, we're grandmothers.
675
00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:09,620
I know.
676
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:10,900
Francine, tell the truth.
677
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,280
Didn't our grandmothers look older than
we do?
678
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,420
Yeah, much older.
679
00:41:16,730 --> 00:41:20,090
don't look like a grandma to me and you
don't look like a grandma to me i looked
680
00:41:20,090 --> 00:41:24,250
in the mirror this morning i saw nothing
of a grandma out in the parking lot two
681
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:29,590
construction workers whiffled at me well
of course they did we're young in our
682
00:41:29,590 --> 00:41:35,470
lives aren't we very young and i'm
looking better every day thank you i
683
00:41:35,470 --> 00:41:39,010
don't know about this grandma Did she
think of another name for us? I don't
684
00:41:39,010 --> 00:41:42,030
know, something like a second mother, a
mother once removed?
685
00:41:42,610 --> 00:41:43,610
Experienced mother.
686
00:41:43,770 --> 00:41:44,890
Solid gold mother.
687
00:41:45,270 --> 00:41:48,250
How about Mother, the sequel?
688
00:41:50,570 --> 00:41:52,430
Wow, look at all those babies.
689
00:41:52,830 --> 00:41:53,830
Which ones are ours?
690
00:41:54,070 --> 00:41:55,390
Those two right down front.
691
00:41:55,650 --> 00:41:57,370
Oh, they're so teeny.
692
00:41:57,850 --> 00:42:00,790
I'm glad those are ours, because them
other babies look pretty goofy.
693
00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:05,690
Hi, baby.
694
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,440
Do you mind?
695
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:08,960
No.
696
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,940
I mean, what is going on here?
697
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:17,300
Nobody told me that you were going to
have twins.
698
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:23,300
Nobody told me the names of the twins.
699
00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:26,360
Nelson and Winnie. I read it outside.
700
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,780
I found out more from my patients than I
did from my own daughter.
701
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,380
Well, Dad, I hope you're not upset about
that. We wanted it to be a surprise.
702
00:42:36,030 --> 00:42:41,770
Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you
about those two things out in the
703
00:42:41,910 --> 00:42:44,790
Now, they're for real, you know. They're
beautiful, aren't they?
704
00:42:45,070 --> 00:42:46,870
Yes, just like you were.
705
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:48,910
But they don't stay that size.
706
00:42:49,470 --> 00:42:51,810
And sometimes they get very ugly.
707
00:42:53,930 --> 00:42:57,930
And I don't want you to blame me. I'm
just so happy I didn't deliver them.
708
00:42:59,270 --> 00:43:02,950
No, no, no. I'm not going to be blaming
anyone. I'm just...
709
00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:07,200
I'm looking forward to every day that
I'm going to get to spend with them.
710
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:12,060
that's so wonderful. Spoken just like a
woman whose children are only 45 minutes
711
00:43:12,060 --> 00:43:13,060
old.
712
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:15,620
Well, will you babysit?
713
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,920
Yes, indeed.
714
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,180
You've got a lot of good times ahead of
you.
715
00:43:19,820 --> 00:43:21,080
And I'm proud of you.
716
00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:25,340
Thank you. Well, now, Dad, I just want
to say something.
717
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,600
You know how much I love you.
718
00:43:27,860 --> 00:43:32,120
Yeah. But I just also want to say how
much I've loved having you as a father.
719
00:43:32,620 --> 00:43:33,980
Am I going somewhere? No, no.
720
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:39,220
I only hope and pray that I can do as
good a job with my children as you've
721
00:43:39,220 --> 00:43:40,220
with yours.
722
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:41,560
Well, I'll tell you something.
723
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,040
It's impossible.
724
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:47,960
You know why?
725
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:53,540
Why? Because good parents are made by
good children.
726
00:43:56,860 --> 00:43:57,860
See you, Mommy.
727
00:44:07,660 --> 00:44:14,100
I enter this house the first time as
Grandpa or Grandpapa or
728
00:44:14,100 --> 00:44:15,880
Gramps. I don't know what it is.
729
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:18,760
How about Father the Sequel?
730
00:44:18,980 --> 00:44:23,400
No, no, no, no. I just know this thing
about being a grandfather. I got to get
731
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,980
ready because my father has challenged
me already. And I know that this man
732
00:44:27,980 --> 00:44:29,580
try to outdo me.
733
00:44:29,980 --> 00:44:35,940
Now, I know that in terms of money, my
father is prepared to give.
734
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:40,350
50 cents every time he sees his great
-grandchildren.
735
00:44:41,030 --> 00:44:45,250
So I've got to top that, so I've got to
have a dollar, because, you know,
736
00:44:45,290 --> 00:44:48,630
grandfathers, they go in their pockets,
and you can hear the change.
737
00:44:49,830 --> 00:44:53,010
These kids come by this house every day.
738
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,920
They won't have to work again as long as
they live.
739
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:01,880
What is this that smells so good? Oh,
this is something that Theo and Howard
740
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,940
did. You're kidding. Spaghetti and
meatball. You're kidding me.
741
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:08,660
My son did not do this.
742
00:45:09,300 --> 00:45:11,520
Howard did this. This is absolutely
delicious.
743
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:16,860
And the boy is an A student and an
excellent cook to boot. I'm going to
744
00:45:16,860 --> 00:45:17,860
Howard.
745
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,680
Yes, I want you to marry Howard so I can
come over for dinner.
746
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:29,740
Let me get the keys and do some damage.
I don't know what was more exciting
747
00:45:29,740 --> 00:45:34,960
today to tell you, the surprise of twins
or Mr.
748
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,460
Alvin announcing that he is going to go
to medical school.
749
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:39,760
I know.
750
00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:41,300
Claire?
751
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:42,640
Claire?
752
00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:45,340
What? What are you thinking about?
753
00:45:45,740 --> 00:45:47,040
I'm thinking about Sandra.
754
00:45:49,390 --> 00:45:52,610
You know, it seems like only yesterday I
was holding her in my arms.
755
00:45:54,690 --> 00:45:56,170
She was a baby.
756
00:45:56,590 --> 00:45:57,590
Yeah.
757
00:45:59,730 --> 00:46:02,030
And today my baby had two babies.
758
00:46:03,870 --> 00:46:05,290
Now she's a mother.
759
00:46:07,470 --> 00:46:09,930
Hi! Hey, Aunt Rudy!
760
00:46:11,590 --> 00:46:13,330
What do the babies look like?
761
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,260
She's a grandmother.
762
00:47:09,710 --> 00:47:12,190
The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.
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